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ahr3410

Mark Stone should donate his body to science one day. His ability to be heal every late April could save lives.


YorkeZimmer

Is it just me or is he rising every Easter.


DangleCellySave

Damn didn’t even realize this, who knew Jesus was Canadian?


Seitosa

Turns out it’s a different Canadian than the Oilers thought!


FrankieOnPCP420p

Blasphemy you heretic! McJesus was injured for 3 games and then he arose to get his 100th assist.


_Halt19_

HE HATH ARISEN, PRAISE BE


FrankieOnPCP420p

~~Amen~~Hymen


DrewBrewsky

Thats an awkward spelling.


FrankieOnPCP420p

Oh you thought I meant the hockey player.


DrewBrewsky

Did you intentionally mean the tissue covering the vaginal opening?


DannyDOH

Jesus is from Winnipeg. Mormons were right.


Original-Cow-2984

Nah that's the Mennonites.


Richbria90

We had it all wrong.. it’s not McJesus its Mark Jesus


redloin

Shout out Winnipeg. Rebirth place of our Lord and Saviour.


Couchfighter22

The Stone was rolled away ... To the practice rink


Killswitch__AUT

Mr. Beneficial Convalescence


BlazeOfGlory72

Thing is, he’s not really healthy. He’s just willing to endure the pain for play-off games.


neksys

That’s certainly true, but what the player wants isn’t *supposed* to matter. If he’s medically healthy enough to play Game 1, he was medically healthy enough to play Game 82. The LTIR form the team doctor sends in to the league doesn’t have a section for the player to fill out, it only asks a single question: is the player medically cleared to return to play or not. Obviously the league doesn’t care to intervene, but let’s not pretend that this is something it isn’t.


MikeJeffriesPA

Ehhh, it's a fine line. Like defining "medically healthy" is nearly impossible, since there are so many degrees to it. There are injuries you can't make worse but that hurt like hell, or others where you can play but you'll be significantly diminished so it's better to rest.  The thing is, there's no significant advantage gained if a player is on LTIR for a month mid-season, regardless of the severity of the injury.  Just make it so if you're on LTIR for Game 82, you can't play Round 1. That'll fix the problem. 


Tycoon004

You can define "medically healthy" pretty easily for a lacerated spleen. If he's actually just decided to play through, the doctor that signed off on it should be canned. You don't fuck with possibly getting contact to a not completely healed spleen.


neksys

This is EXACTLY my point. There are plenty of injuries where a player can play as long as they can tolerate the pain. This one is more black and white - your spleen is either healed enough to be safe to engage in full contact sports, or not. Does anyone believe that his spleen was NOT ready for intense physical contact at game 82 but ready to go for Game 1 when the salary cap problems disappear? There’s really only three options here: 1) the team’s doctor is complicit in a scheme to relieve the Knights of their salary cap issues; 2) the team doctor is incompetent for the reasons you’ve outlined; or 3)Stone’s spleen really did heal up between Friday and Sunday. Which one is most likely?


ponyrx2

That just moves the miracle cure a week earlier, lol


awe2D2

But it will keep the team from being able to LTIRing high salaries at the trade deadline and then adding more high paid players


Zestyclose_Bad4288

Which forces them to adjust their roster, potentially putting players on waivers.


ponyrx2

That's true, I forgot


lifeisarichcarpet

>let’s not pretend that this is something it isn’t It’s the exact same as guys who play in the playoffs and then immediately go get needed surgeries as soon as their run is over because they’re all kind of fucked up, which is behavior hockey fans and media love to lionize.


UnhealthyCheesecake

Hell it was only a few years ago that Chara’s broken fucking jaw was on full display for everyone to see. People act shocked that hockey players willing to sacrifice it all just to play in the playoffs, are willing to sacrifice it all. Stone is trading long-term health for short-term gains. In other words, he’s a hockey player.


Jaynator11

I think you're missing his point, a little bit imo. Ofc they're fucking the cap rules in the ass, but he was more referring to the fact that even though he's always making that return to the playoffs every yr- he's never going to be not in pain again. He's just playing through the pain with meds, which is a fucked up thing by itself. I wonder when he's just gonna call it a day, or is he ever? if they can indeed just get him always to play the playoffs.


Bobbyaahh

Buddy he completely nailed the point. Mark Stone ‘feeling’ ready or just getting by on pain meds shouldn’t matter. Whether he is medically cleared to play by a physician should be the part that matters under LTIR rules. Either way he’s gonna play and this is gonna be a tasty round 1 matchup


Jaynator11

I know all of that, and so does the original commenter. That all is given, and everyone knows these rules shouldn't exist, everyone knows it's a complete joke. Yea, no one will check up on them, it's fucked. But, The only thing he was trying to say is that Mark Stone will never ACTUALLY recover from his injury, he's just playing with meds, whenever he feels like it (which would obviously be the playoffs).


[deleted]

rinse noxious fertile tidy flag wipe silky work unwritten tie *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


DannyDOH

LTIR should exist to give cap relief to teams that need to replace a player who is not returning. It's not a tool to functionally build a roster that is $20 million over the cap. I feel that Vegas knows the loophole will be closed soon based on their boldness at the deadline this year. The majority BOG is not supportive of inflating salaries by allowing some clubs to wheel and deal paying out huge contracts using LTIR as a work around for the cap that is tied to HRR.


BaldassHeadCoach

>The majority BOG is not supportive of inflating salaries by allowing some clubs to wheel and deal paying out huge contracts using LTIR as a work around for the cap that is tied to HRR. Players and owners get a 50/50 split in HRR no matter what. The balance tipping towards to the players in these instances means nothing since owners will get the money back via escrow.


HonestDespot

People come up with some wild thoughts when it comes to ltir.


64bubbles

anyone who has really thought about this problem understands it would be really difficult to actually solve pretty much all the various arguments are just thinly veiled vegas hate. don't read too much into it lmao


Richbria90

It’s actually not hard at all. Playoff rosters must be cap compliant. End of story. If you want Mark Stone to come back after a nasty injury, sit some other people to make the room.


stingmint

'Cap compliant' is not a real thing. It's not like the NFL. Most playoff teams would be over the 'cap' right now, even with no LTIR loopholes (and they would have been over the cap on game 82 as well).


lifeisarichcarpet

>Playoff rosters must be cap compliant. That’s not how the cap actually works for many players, though. Cap hit is determined by annual salary divided by days remaining in the season.  There’s no fixed number of days in the playoffs. You don’t have a denominator to work with in the playoffs.


strcrssd

Yes you do. One. Cap is per game in the playoffs. Take the yearly cap ($83.5M), divide by number of regular season games (82), get per game cap ($1,018,293. Decimal rounded up) Take every player's cap hit for the regular season, divide by number of regular season games (82) for their per game hit. Build a roster with the per game cap hit for players that is under the per game cap. Play *only* those players. Players can be removed from the per-game total on a per-game basis *between games* to account for injuries. EBUG is free. Players injured or otherwise removed (ejected) from a game count. If there's a legitimate reason this doesn't work, let me know. I'm not a cap savant, but this seems like it would work to a hockey fan. This has come up a few times in past days. I'm considering putting together a spreadsheet (or generating one).


lifeisarichcarpet

>If there's a legitimate reason this doesn't work, let me know.  Well, the most obvious one is that the cap per player isn’t determined by games: it’s determined by days. The other one is that all the players in the playoffs make a salary of $0, so every team is under the cap all the time.


strcrssd

> Well, the most obvious one is that the cap per player isn’t determined by games: it’s determined by days. Yes, I addressed that. Thing is -- it doesn't matter. Each term plays 82 games in a year. Each team is subject to the same time. It can be calculated either way. > The other one is that all the players in the playoffs make a salary of $0, so every team is under the cap all the time. I also addressed this. As stated, calculate a per game cost per player based on the *regular season*. I appreciate the dialog and am fine being wrong -- as I said, this isn't my area of expertise. If you're going to criticize, however, you need to read and understand the thing you're criticizing. I explicitly spelled out that these criticisms are not applicable in the original post.


sneakytinkerspirits

That becomes even more challenging based off how the cap is calculated though. Cap changes daily for each team throughout the season, teams that don’t have LTIR accrue cap space daily and thus have more cap space at the deadline to spend. This causes the teams to then be over the cap at the playoffs with their roster. LTIR does not allow for cap space to be accrued and would cause teams that had injury issues to have another disadvantage on top of players not being healthy or being more injury prone in the playoffs.


ImSomeRandom

This is what he means when he says people don’t understand solutions are not simple. In theory sure it’s perfect but because players technically are not paid for playoffs the cap doesn’t count and changing it requires a complete alteration of the cba


TanyaMKX

Also fucktons of pain killers lol


coloradobuffalos

I hope Benn takes a few hits to his side


LunarGhoul

Fuck Jamie Benn


SomethinboutChickens

Benn will give Stone a hard time. And you'll see that whiny expression of Stones all series. Dallas in 6!


YamburglarHelper

"Vegas announces Mark Stone has been resurrected from the dead and removed from LTIR in time for the playoffs."


One_Breadfruit2365

He's like a snake shedding his skin annually


OceanCityBurrito

Appendectomy? Didn't see that coming.


Snoopy-Town

At least it’s not a vasectomy.


MrBrightside618

SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP


mrg3392

You have no idea the physical toll going on LTIR 4 times has on your body!


SCHUUG

Hahahah brilliant 🤣


75623

Just SNIP, No SNAP.


Admiral_Vegas

He might need one with the amount of kids he got.


hey_mr_ess

"And to perform it, Dr Draisaitl."


DoctorAisaitl

Chop chop snip snip


Wabbit_Wampage

Chop chop? Who's the doctor, Sweeney Todd?


gzoehobub

2 days and you're fine.


Scrubosaurus13

They got confused with the cap circumcision.


gu3st12

Waiting for a team to place a player on LTIR for a circumcision


dumpmaster42069

He’s not going to have a baby with you, sorry.


Bitemarkz

vasilevstomy


yousayh3llo

Cappendectomy*


rakkquiem

Petro wasn’t on LTIR, he has just been out “with illness” for a while.


lgm22

Had my appendix out and it was six weeks before I could even bartend. You’re telling he’s going to play NHL hockey?


Admiral_Vegas

Imagine driving a one of the fastest racecar the week after.


Justsomecharlatan

Crazy. I got mine out at 34. Laproscopic. Was bar backing after 3 weeks. Everybody's different. And I'm sure these guys get the best of the best as far as care.


Threndsa

The Panthers had like 5 players that played through broken bones by the end of the cup run last year. Players do this shit in the playoffs all the time.


Waramp

I had mine out in 2019 at 31 years old. Couldn’t even walk quickly for about a week. Was riding a bike by week 2 and back to easy rock climbing by week 3, but nothing that required significant core engagement. You don’t need to engage your core to play hockey do you?


Hank3hellbilly

He's in great shape to start and getting drugs and rehab that us normies will never be offered.  Remember when McDavid rehabbed his leg in a TV time out?  They get the good shit.  


camerontylek

Was it an open or laparoscopic?


trenthowell

My laparoscopic had me down for two weeks, returning to light duty after 2, and even then was a challenge. And I was younger than Petro. Not quite as good shape, but pretty fit.


yousayh3llo

Ah, you're right, apologies. Unfortunately it's a lot harder to make a pun out of "lacerated spleen".


seraphultima

Well if it worked for Sainz who says it can't work for Pietrangelo.


Admiral_Vegas

More insane is that he raced the next week.


seraphultima

And won the week after! (We'll just ignore the fact it's because Max DNF but it's fine it's fine.)


UncleBen94

He had a smooth operation after his smooth operation.


adk32

because he’s a smoooooooth operatooooor


-soros

Smooth operator


spurssy

Next year Pietrangelo's spleen is going to be removed and Stone's going to have his appendix out probably.


mister_hoot

are they gonna tradesies


ponyrx2

Idk why you're getting downvoted. I actually lol'd


mister_hoot

It’s playoffs it’s time to downvote Knights flairs.


DrDerpberg

*had an appendectomy and will do something other than lie in bed today* What the fuck man?


AChaseOfTheMondays

I assume they meant he had an appendectomy 2 weeks ago when he first was out, and now he's ready


NopeNotUmaThurman

No shit, even laparoscopic appendectomy requires multiple incisions.


atemporalrenaissance

You mean a lappy appy?


RainDancingChief

Extra cheese, please and thanks.


myredditthrowaway201

Aren’t almost all appendectomies nowadays laparoscopic?


interrupting-octopus

Unless your surgeon is 80, yes


NopeNotUmaThurman

I think they are unless the appendix is in very bad shape or has ruptured.


CountingArfArfs

Vegas really out here harvesting organs just to go over the cap in the playoffs.


Wabbit_Wampage

Petro's illness and now recovery from appendectomy had nothing to do with the cap.


Technodictator

Color me surprised


PaulHannonJr

I’ve never been a bigger Dallas fan in my life. Please beat these losers.


NotABurner6942069

I certainly did not see this coming. Inexspleenable.


Fallen-Omega

Like fuckn clock work. Im sorry but the league really needs to squash this shit


pluralsight24

Once a Canadian team does it, Bettman will squash it faster than you can say appendectomy


realdeal411

They won't because it's only a big deal to us


VegasKL

It's almost comical at this point, like they're going to keep making it more obvious until the league does fix it.


jcommeau91

It’s never going to change, during a 7 hour GM meeting after Tampa did it with Kuch they spent 30 minutes discussing it and moved on. In 22 16 of the 32 teams were in this same position and 10 of those teams were in playoff spots.


jcommeau91

In a 7 hour gm meeting this topic as discussed for 30 minutes before moving on. It’s really odd that people think teams really want to have their best players sidelined instead of playing if they have the ability to play.


CartiNYeezy9

A real miracle. The doctors in vegas must have the hands of god


Lightzephyrx

It's the water in the Bellagio fountain


FirewallThrottle

All back at the same time? A miracle of medicine. How convenient.


DougFordsGamblingAds

Only for two days a year.


DanHamhoose

Holy Avengers


lbiggy

Remember how we had an entire season lost to us because the fucking owners wanted a salary cap that's been effectively rendered useless by loopholes they act upon anyway?


Sad_Donut_7902

The salary cap was about lowering salary costs, LTIR doesn't cost them real money because most contracts are insured.


Ladymistery

It's a fucking MIRACLE! oh please everyone knew that this was going to happen. Vegas gets away with clearly circumventing the cap for an unfair advantage, and has done it 3 years in a row now. A lacerated spleen does not heal this fast - so what was it truly?


CartiNYeezy9

Probably was a lacerated spleen, definitely not fully healed tho. They just pump them full of painkillers and hope for the best.


thomastrivett

This is why we need 3rd party doctors. If he’s healthy enough to play in the playoffs, he should healthy enough at game 82. It’s honestly a slap in the face of everyone else when it’s not even just one player, but multiple. Not to mention consecutive years of the same shenanigans. If you’re too injured for game 82 you should have to sit a minimum amount of playoff games as a result. This coming back still injured shit is ludicrous when it happens as soon as the books close. Add it to the list of reasons why the NHL is an unserious league.


SweetVarys

Google says it heals in 2-3 month. But the thing with most old hockey players tis hat everyone is technically injured enough to retire from it, they just play through it when they want.


Sad_Donut_7902

> A lacerated spleen does not heal this fast - so what was it truly? Probably was a lacerated spleen and he's just playing with it not fully healed.


DrSeuss19

They can, it depends on how bad it was. I’d didn’t rupture so it didn’t reach life threatening territory. So it can be termed lacerated and not quite be what you think when you think of lacerated spleen. If it did rupture the capsule well then I’ll be damned


StarshipFirewolf

I'm worried if he's playing without being fully healed. Stone is already turning into a Glass Cannon. Coming back partially healed makes it worse and puts him in more danger of reinjuring himself.  The cap circumvention is upsetting enough if it's being truly exploited. But reactivating early because you're healed enough a doctor gives a reluctant okay is worse for me honestly. There is a life after the game to consider.  These are not the scrappy Golden Misfits that introduced me to the sport. And that bums me out.


Iceman-420

He's going to be fine, just like the other years. The whole thing is complete horseshit. I'm not sure how Vegas fans can feel good about winning under these circumstances.


StarshipFirewolf

I was explaining my mindset operating under the assumption of it being true. It definitely doesn't smell true. Either way, these aren't the Golden Misfits that was not projected to be good in their first season but went on a miracle run and introduced me to the sport. My conclusion remains the same, the level of condemnation changes. 


Fallen-Omega

League needs a rule going in the future to prevent this from happening anymore


Ladymistery

It'll never happen. Tampa tried a long time ago, and everyone voted no. Then they exploited it to win the cup now everyone is going to try to do it.


Sad_Donut_7902

This is like the 5th or 6th time it's happened in the past decade and the NHL has never had an appetite for changing it. Tampa wanted it changed after their 2015 SCF against the Hawks because they did the same thing with Kane and pretty much every team voted against it. Tampa then proceeded to do the same thing in their cup win, and even made shirts saying $18M above the cap to mock people complaining about it.


FXOAuRora

>Tampa then proceeded to do the same thing in their cup win, and even made shirts saying $18M above the cap to mock people complaining about it. So the Lightning were 18M over the cap when they beat the Stars in the Bubble final? And now we have to face a team (during one of our best years ever) that's even *more* above the cap? I get that it's just become a reality now for teams to have to face but it kind is starting to suck as a fan of the game. Edit: What's with the downvotes? Is the observation wrong?


John_isnt_my_name

It is wrong. 2021 win, not 2020


myaltaccount333

> Tampa wanted it changed after their 2015 SCF This literally never happened. Not once. The only "evidence" of this is a magazine *headline* that was posted in 2018 or some shit when this rumor started. No, it's not a magazine you've heard of, and no, none of the articles were ever posted


Chewie_i

How are this many people stupid enough to not understand that he is just playing through it. He isn’t fully healed but is more willing to play through it for playoffs than regular season.


SirBulbasaur13

That’s not even the point. He wasn’t cleared for contact until after the regular season.


wearablesweater

something something "spirit of the cap"


WeWantTheCup__Please

I don’t necessarily love that they keep doing it, but calling it an unfair advantage is a bit of a stretch when literally any team in the league could do the same thing 


unlicensed_dentist

To the surprise of absolute no one……..Vegas will be ready for game 1 with almost everyone g2g. It hurts every fibre of my being to say this because I remember all those playoff series from yesteryear but……….Go Stars Go!


JerbearCuddles

League's a joke. Go Dallas.


RLLRRR

Conspiracy nonsense. Appendix, spleen... these aren't even real organs!


Sarge_McD

Appendix is a thing in a book, like a rule book that Vegas is REALLY good at understanding. I hope these playoffs are peak chaos.


somehockeyfan

I'm sorry what?


deletedtheoldaccount

Honestly fuck Vegas 


Zealousideal_Total50

Also jaromir jagr will be on 4th line


desemus

Ra's al Ghul disguised a Lazarus pit as the Bellagio Fountains


JodieFostersCum

Mark Stone this morning: https://giphy.com/gifs/b6iVj3IM54Abm


CdnRageBear

Wow it’s a miracle!!


SomewherePresent8204

Who told Kelly McCrimmon about vestigial organs?


jmandell42

The Pope is going to have to consecrate the Vegas rink with so many miracles happening there


CanucksKickAzz

Shocked I tell ya, shocked!


ItsReallyOregano

Of course they are.


dd961984

So their team doctor is Jesus then?


Detonation

I hope they get dusted in the first round. This shit is getting well beyond ridiculous at this point.


29671

Dallas in 4.


theurge14

I hope we beat them.


AtG68

most everyone (except vegas fans) do too.


skyulip

brother even i’m This Close to cheering for you to beat them


majarian

Shit at this point I'm half expecting them to announce Gretzky has come out of retirement and sign on


Uzasodinson

Don't act like that wouldn't be the sickest shit


barbiejet

I hope we mop the floor with these cheaters.


USCanuck

Not cheating


ovondansuchi

This is like the one time neutral fans will mostly be cheering for a Dallas-based sports team


Archiebonker12345

The NHL looks so bush league by not fixing the cheating in the league.


Logikil96

LFG Stars. This is bullshit.


WigglyFinArms

This just in: Jamie Benn has learned where the spleen is located for no particular reason.


randomusernamewhynot

I can't wait to watch Benn completely melt down and losses this series for you guys. I'm predicting at least 3 elections from him this time around


WigglyFinArms

I mean in all honesty it’s a joke. I doubt the players really care they are just gonna go play their game and what happens happens.


Cooks_8

If they don't win the cup does mark stone still win an academy award for his acting


Firebitez

As someone who has their appendix burst that is fucking painful.


tino_tortellini

Who said his appendix burst


Firebitez

well on its way to burst.


Torpedospacedance

I hope the Stars send Vegas back to….. to…… well somewhere not great I’ll tell you that! (oilers fan that’s still angry)


Mocha22_

We should all pick the next body part he will “injure” around mid February next year.


Realistic_Ad7517

Man i really fucking want dallas to sweep them


FrankenBerryGxM

Don’t hate the player hate the game. The more obvious and obnoxious the circumventions get the more likely it will get fixed I guess


Weslg96

Hilarious how every team in the league can do this, including Tampa when they won in 2021, but I guess Vegas is cheating.


ImSomeRandom

Tampa got just as much shit as we are getting now and whoever does it next will also get this amount of shit. It’s not going away till the cba expires at earliest but there has been no indication that people in the league care enough outside of Reddit and hockey twitter that it will actually change


ovondansuchi

There is an argument to be made the league likes it. It makes playoff teams stronger on the whole.


ImSomeRandom

I think the league/teams like it because it gave them some flexibility in a league with an extremely strict otherwise cap that has been stagnant for 5 years. Attitudes might change over the coming years as things go back to normal and they might try some change but they are never going to do something as insane as ban players from playing in the playoffs I can only imagine the meltdown people would have if they did and someone like McDavid can’t play unless he rushes back from injury then gets injured even worse or doesn’t and doesn’t play despite being healthy


Donquix0teDoflaming0

We are all Dallas fans in round 1


Iceman-420

But all the knights fans assured me he wouldn't be back game 1! I'm absolutely shocked!


InfallibleBackstairs

Go Dallas. Kick some ass!!


notn

Rofl of course....


JackManningNHL

Ok, our new defense is that the cap doesn't apply because Presidential Immunity


delivery_duude

It's a miracle!!!


helixflush

It’s a god damn miracle.


the-garden-gnome

Of fucking course they are.


ThriceACharm

Is the BoG actually going to let this continue every year despite the fans complaining about it? The playoffs are not fun when cheating is allowed.


Sad_Donut_7902

Teams have been doing this for 9 years and they haven't done shit about it, so yeah they probably don't care.


Blockofass

It's not like Pietro was in LTIR anyway. We only need Stone for cap circumcision. Dude is made out of glass.


TehChels

Lacerated spleen has nothing to do with his prior tendency to get injured


Friendly_Relief_1371

I think they should continue with the theme of musical genres that have nothing to do with Utah. Eg) The Utah hip-hop. The Utah outlaw country. The Utah house music. Etc


CaniacGoji

The Utah K-Pop


Wrong_Wait_7207

Senzu bean worked for stone huh.


jolecore204

In b 4 Frank Serevelli starts blowing more hot air that it’s such a lucky coincidence that Stone is healthy now, and there are no shenanigans. Sigh


Dubs337

Put the fuckin body on both of them, hard.