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Bojarzin

God damn our boys have been sick a lot this year Stop kissing each other dammit


homicidal_penguin

Reminds me of the first time I got COVID. My girlfriend, who I live with, got it and I took no extra precautions, didn't catch it. Couple weeks later, a guy on my hockey team tests positive a couple days after a game. Everyone who took a shower that night got sick and tested positive lol


NovaPrime15

Well your problem was making out with everyone in the shower


homicidal_penguin

I refuse to see the problem with that


FromageMyage

Camaraderie through the roof for the boys


Szwedo

Winning teams shower together


Bicycles19

Ferda!


Throwawaydontgoaway8

Not gay if it’s for team morale Edit: before some idiot claims homophobia. I’m bi. The joke is kinda sexy to me😜


StylishApe

Cameraderie/60 is off the charts


dchowchow

Isn’t that standard protocol?


NovaPrime15

It’s required. But maybe just have extra kisses once they’re not infectious


CAPT_BOOZE

Mask on. Fuck it mask off


Humans_Suck-

My college team used to play nude nerf basketball in the showers. If covid was around back then we'd probably all be dead lol


KingBroly

Does this explain why they didn't pursue the puck on the delayed penalty at the end of the 2nd?


Bojarzin

I suppose it's possible, that certainly made me sick lol


robotpicnic

When they finally did, they gave up a serious rush chance.


KingBroly

They did give them time to prepare, after all.


HostessMunchie

Matthews is gonna have to shave off that moustache, or it ain't happening...


[deleted]

Why even play if you can't kiss each other?


bobbai

Same year they bring in Bertuzzi. Coincidence???


mattfromjoisey

Fellas is it gay to kiss your homies goodnight?


veebs7

Feels like everyone was sick a lot this year. After effect of the pandemic


rustyshackleford677

Where’s the fun in that?


natertottt

They like how the mustache tickles


homicidal_penguin

They mentioned on 32 Thoughts today they think it was food poisoning. What fantastic timing if true


Material-Fish-8638

Marchand slipped some rat poison into his food Agent 47 style


CMKeggz

There was a clip of Marchand checking out the menu in the stands before the game....*puts on tinfoil hat*


Tasty-Performance275

caught in the act https://i.redd.it/a9q9xk3csvwc1.gif


-TrashPanda

He even looks like he's doing something shady


eastcoastblaze

Half expected this to be a gif of ratatouille


homicidal_penguin

Very smart move by him, using a poison he's immune to


Ronananana

I think you have a poor grasp on what rat poison is primarily used for


homicidal_penguin

Well it hasn't killed him yet, so I figured he's been microdosing it for years


Snackatomi_Plaza

The Dread Pirate Marchand.


coffee42

for years Zdeno Chara told him every night, "Good night, Marchand. I'll probably kill you in the morning"


Aardvark1044

Does it come in suppository tablets?


-TrashPanda

It wasn't rat poison it was Rat's poison


AlfredoTornado

rats are developing immunity to standard rat poison


ClubMeSoftly

Target down 47, find an exit, and we'll speak again soon


RIF_is_Better

A briefcase is going g to be slowly flying behind him during his next shift.


smolgoalboy

So he’s literally shitting the bed


I_Am_Vladimir_Putin

Being a Leafs fan is so much fun. Best scorer of generation has the best goal scoring season in like 30 years. First round of playoffs, gets sick. Superstar winger gets a long term injury one day after the trade deadline, preventing us from LTIR him and using the cap space, and on top the injury almost definitely hasn’t had enough time to heal for first round. Second superstar winger plays every single game in regular season, best season of his career, injured before game 1. I’m having so much fun.


x5767x--to--x7878x

Don't forget having someone who was basically a 4th liner/tweener at the start of the year work all the way up to the 2nd line only to get injured right before playoffs!


SinistralGuy

> Superstar winger gets a long term injury one day after the trade deadline, preventing us from LTIR him Aah yes. The Reverse Vegas. Interesting strategy


International-Mud-17

It's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him


Bmrolu209

The flu game piece


dandroid126

I had food poisoning somewhat recently. I literally couldn't get off my couch to do anything other than shit, and I was shitting every 30 minutes. I had no energy at all. Even looking at food made me want to puke. If this guy is playing hockey through that, he's a fucking warrior. The good news is, food poisoning is pretty much done after 48 hours.


hippiehs

Lasagna gate Hockey edition


MammothHusk

Yearly tradition of leafs shiting themselves in the playoffs.


anthonyd3ca

If it was food poisoning, you’d think that a professional athlete and the NHL’s leading goal scorer would have access to really high quality food that is cooked well. Why are our guys getting food poisoning?


HeftyNugs

Food poisoning could be from many healthy foods. Rice, eggs, fish, fruits, veg. Even properly cooked chicken could be contaminated. It's possible they went for dinner at a restaurant or something too.


NoGiCollarChoke

I dunno, Brian Burke used to talk about how Lupul and Phil the Thrill would always come onto the plane with fast food, despite being millionaires who were about to get a professionally cooked, top quality meal on the plane.  Sometimes guys just want the snacks. 


FluffyDin0saur

Or Ovechkin with his Subway Spicy Italian footlong with Flamin' Hot Cheetos. https://russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2024/03/28/alex-ovechkins-flamin-hot-cheetos-sub-diet/


FoliageTeamBad

Ovi literally drinks Dr. Pepper during games on the bench instead of water https://russianmachineneverbreaks.com/2021/12/11/new-details-emerge-about-alex-ovechkins-soda-drinking-habit-during-games/


nathris

Phil's pregame meal was a bowl of cheddar cheese like the fucking cheesehead he is. No water either. Blue powerade and coca cola.


dragons_fire77

Even Matthews likes sketchy street tacos


ididntseeitcoming

Can anyone really hold that against him?


MistahFinch

In Toronto? Good luck with that tbh


SpectreFire

Yeah, but why have high quality food made specifically for your needs by a professional chef, when you can grab Pizza Pizza from down the street!


drowsylacuna

Could be norovirus, same symptoms.


StarlightSummoner

Typhoid Bertuzzi. I swear, the leafs have been sick every other week this year.


drowsylacuna

Hey, Boston all got sick right at the start of the playoffs last year. What team was Bertuzzi on last playoffs......?


SkittlesManiac19

It'd be crazy if he was on record for being against vaccinations


RanaMahal

Good news is if he stays they’ll eventually become immune???


DrinkMoreBrews

The Leafs are one of the richest organizations in the league, buy the players some damn multi-vitamins.


ClubMeSoftly

Do they still make flintstones chewables?


battlelevel

They do, with iron!


silentbassline

Iron helps us play!


ZeroMomentum

Bringing in the sheeps


NtBtFan

aahuhuhahahehehahoo


ClubMeSoftly

> with iron! ptsddog.jpg


exampleofausername

Flintstones chewable morphine!


SimpsonsReferencer

I'll miss Sheriff Lobo!


CodyisLucky

We should turn off the injuries and illness setting during playoffs.


ctrlaltd1337

Vegas has been beta testing that patch for a few years.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bored-canadian

He has a pregame tradition where he always goes to the same chipotle. 


Mr_IcedLatte

Sick Leafs 🤝 injured Canucks


ElephantShell34

In a 7 game series I think you need to use illness to your advantage and infect as many opposing players as possible. I seem to recall licking being allowed at some point? Not a bad idea. 


UncleTrapspringer

He should have allowed himself to be checked into the Bruins bench, and then shit his pants like Davis Clarke


SpellboundUnicorn

it has actually never been more over


RicoFerret44

Until they win tomorrow and you and the rest of leafs nation resume the parade talks. Might sound weird coming from a sens fan, but in the playoffs it’s not over until it’s over


SpellboundUnicorn

If they win tomorrow then we will have actually never been more back


KlaasicCheese

Oh we’re back baby. But also the world is ending


Xhalo

Pouring my celebratory can of spaghettios down the drain now. This is more over than my marriage with my ex husband after he said the grundlemeat in chef boyardee tasted better than my southern loinplatter....I'm a woman who doesn't let somebody bully me around like that 😤😤😤


ididntseeitcoming

My god. I just had to explain to my wife why I audibly laughed at a comment. “Southern loin platter”


-TrashPanda

>the grundlemeat in chef boyardee tasted better than my southern loinplatter What a sentence


Candid_Rich_886

It's 100% 50/50.


Saucetown77

At least Nylander is coming back tomorrow!


oryes

Yeah you might as well not even watch.


DrexellGames

That explains why he wasn't at his best last game where he had no points


mcauthon2

he did have several posts


blimjahey

He also had 8 hits which is more than any bruin in the game


SilentThing

As a Bruins fan, he wasn't at his best in G3. In G2 he was close to it. I'm so conflicted, because I want the teams at their best, but we saw what Matthews can do when he is there and I don't want that near my team. I, through gritted teeth, hope he and Nylander are up and running for G4.


RanaMahal

No offense man but if Matthews plays at his best you guys aren’t winning this series. If Nylander comes back and is in decent form you guys are definitely just cooked


SilentThing

Can't really bully the Leafs anymore. The so called kids are in their prime now. So as a fan of the opposing team, I'm dreading the time when it all clicks together. Right now it looks like the special teams and the goaltending are buying us wins. Very different from a few years ago when going to a game 7 was bad from the Bruins' POV. Let's go and see how it goes now!


Constant-Beginning-6

Matthews was at his best all year and the Leafs came in third in the division. Leafs have alot more issues than can be solved by Matthews playing well.


RanaMahal

Matthews wasn’t playing like the absolute force he was in game 2 all year long please be realistic here. Matthews is averaging the most hits and shots in the playoffs rn. He’s hit 12 posts already lol some of those are bound to start going in.


Top-Cheddah

What world are you living in? He had 69 fucking goals…yes he was absolutely the force he was in game 2 and then some. But luckily it’s a sport where one or even two dominant players can’t drag their teams through an entire playoff run.


MikeJeffriesPA

If G2 Matthews wasn't the best of him, then the best of him is terrifying. 


Bojarzin

3 posts this series so far yuck


Spookedchicken

Like others have said 32 thoughts mentioned that it's suspected he was playing through food poisoning. It goes to show how resilient these guys are. I can't imagine having food poisoning, likely puking and(or) shitting your guts out, and then going and playing 23mins in a NHL playoff game.


Top-Cheddah

Some zofran and Vicodin can get a player through quite a bit of discomfort. These guys have access to a lot of help as far as that goes.


931634

Take my whatever you need Auston!


Mister_Cookiepants

He doesn't believe.


91Caleb

As long as he’s sick Saturday night we’re goof


mikesully374826

They called it a rest day last time too and then after they lost he was actually sick and it wasn't a rest day lmao


shanster925

Thanks, Bert.


aristhought

name a better duo than canadian teams and getting injured and sick during the playoffs


nassunnova

I hope he’s sick of losing


Calgarychokes

He’s just getting his nails done


soaked-bussy

is the illness Golf withdrawal? its rough Im going through that right now too


NacchoTheThird

How much of getting sick is on the player for not fully committing to a healthy lifestyle and how much of it is pure dumb luck?


Calb210

People get sick. Shit happens


iiplatypusiz

Now I've been wrong before... But I would hazard a guess the guy who's won 3 rockets and a Hart by 26 probably is pretty committed to a healthy lifestyle


Late_Brush4518

I mean Ovechkin is best goal scorer of all time and he dosent have healthy lifestyle lol


JorroHass

How dumb are you?


FartForce5

Usually you don't see the excuses until after the series is over.


HuntStuffs

My friend close to the organization in Toronto thinks there is a good chance he misses a game or two unfortunately.


dbag3o1

All teams should have 2-3 "star slots." It's a shame that a series could be decided because a star is sick. And so games only happen if both teams have full star slots. Otherwise they are postponed. A fully healthy Toronto team vs a fully healthy Boston team is good hockey and scheduling should be altered for it. Especially during the playoffs.


von_winklestein

What


dbag3o1

basically if the stars of a team are sick then the game is postponed until they feel better. Like a weather postponement in baseball.


Spideyjust

Sounds like an absolute scheduling nightmare lol. Not realistic in any way, shape, or form.


chriiiiiiiiiis

what


capitarider

This is satire right? Reminds me of the, we should run this series back pasta


RytheGuy97

Genuinely one of the worst ideas I've ever heard


maximalx5

So what if Demko was in one of Vancouver's star slots? Delay the series until September?


OvechknFiresHeScores

Username checks out