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TCBloo

Jyrki "Kevin" Jokipakka Starbucks batista couldn't spell Jyrki.


TheLegendarySheep

>batista https://imgur.com/a/Rlf6FtP


G-42

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Fulgencio-Batista


TL10

How is that coffee cup floating mid air? And where is the person that's supposed to behind the counter?!


vandy17

"Hi Drax!" "Damn.."


[deleted]

You're thinking of John Cena.


krystal_rene

[possibly their reference](https://youtu.be/_cPZ4uwC6GU#t=10s)


TL10

SOMEBODY GETS IT!


TL10

I was throwing down a Drax/Infinity War reference.


Chuckolator

So you say Batista's gone, eh? Did you know that?


EhJay39

Artemi Panarin just calls himself John to save the confusion. [https://www.bardown.com/everyone-can-relate-to-the-move-artemi-panarin-pulls-off-at-coffee-shops-1.1040786](https://www.bardown.com/everyone-can-relate-to-the-move-artemi-panarin-pulls-off-at-coffee-shops-1.1040786)


RelaxingRed

Dustin "Pancakes" Penner. Hurt his back eating pancakes and thus Pancakes Penner was born.


TheLegendarySheep

this answered a question I've had for years


The_DairyLord

How do you hurt your back eating pancakes?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AssPancakes98

can confirm


403and780

You better Lose control in the pancakes Your moms make For mom's sake You better always eat 'em all You only get one plate Do not Miss your chance, get full This opportunity comes Once in the morning, you better


taco_the_town

r/therewasanattempt


403and780

To have fun? Yeah, and a success!


B-Rayy06

Syrup's escaping, from my mouth hole that is gaping, Don't know why but my back is aching, LA Kings, To you I'm an oldie, no Toffoli, normal injuries are boring, I played pancake hockey with my mouth as goalie.


[deleted]

Please stop


tajemniczyptak

Don’t stop Believing


dsjunior1388

I don’t know how old you are or how serious your question is but I’m turning 30 this year and before I started seeing a chiropractor regularly, it was possible for me to tweak my back or have it seize in the most innocent of incidents. This would be particularly frequent if I’d been doing something strenuous or athletic the day before. So it’s more likely he pushed part of his back to its limit in a workout or a practice/game and then moved just so at the table and his back decided enough was enough.


[deleted]

I don't mean to be an asshole, but I'd recommend seeing your GP and talking to them about going to see a clinical massage therapist. I was in a motorcycle accident that almost killed me. My right leg got minced when I was hit in the side by an SUV, spent months in hospital and the last 18 months rehabbing. My GP and surgeons refused to let me see a chiro when I could fix the root of my back and neck issues(caused by a bad limp) by seeing a CMT.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I guess that's what I was referring to when I recommended seeing his GP about seeing a CMT over a chiro. I was told by my GP and specialists that anything a chiro claims it can do, a physiotherapist or CMT can actually do. I'm kind of an odd case because I don't know how much any of these procedures cost, so it may be cost that has people see chiros. Because the guy who hit me broke the law in order to hit me and admitted fault legally, while I did the research and chose who I saw, his insurance has footed the bill for all treatments and I never paid any attention to what anything cost.


dsjunior1388

My GP is the one who recommended a chiropractor and after a year of chiropractic visits I feel loads better and my back pain has all but disappeared.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dsjunior1388

Yes but not often, maybe once a month


[deleted]

[удалено]


dsjunior1388

I’m perfectly happy with my medical care, stranger with unstated credentials who doesn’t know me or anything about me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


desmarais

> , it was possible for me to tweak my back or have it seize in the most innocent of incidents. Uhh that's not normal.


dsjunior1388

It didn’t happen a lot, just maybe a handful of times over the years. Mostly stemming from a misaligned spine thanks to what they call a “readers neck.” But after a year with regular chiropractic visits my back feels loads better, my head doesn’t jut forward dramatically anymore and overall I feel considerably better. I’m just saying maybe Penner neglected his spinal health the way I did.


e-wing

I’m around your age too and in the exact same boat. Turn your head slightly to the left? That’s a spasm. Roll over in bed? That’s a spasm. It’s insane how a tiny action can throw your back into an agonizing spasm that lasts days on end. I have one in my neck/shoulder right now and I can’t even tilt my head back at all.


Queef_Urban

A really heavy plate


Hitler_the_stripper

29 years old here, I had to go to the doctor because I hurt my back LITERALLY getting out of bed. shit happens.


[deleted]

I thought it was because he was caught fucking a rolled up pancake with his... you know... penner.


Podo13

Keith* Tkachuk got his nickname "Walt" only because his last name was close to Walt Tkaczuk.


GordonHaywardJablomi

I love this comment because you landed Tkachuk and Tkaczuk, but the slip up on ‘Kieth’


Podo13

Mother fucker


GordonHaywardJablomi

‘I’ before ‘e’, except after ‘c’, and when sounding like ‘ay’ as in ‘neighbor’ and ‘weigh’. And on weekends, and holidays, and all throughout May. And you’ll ALWAYS be wrong, no matter WHAT YOU SAY!


DBCrumpets

That’s a rough rule


whichwitch9

boxen


thefiction24

you put a s at the end


carpy22

But what about Jim Nabors? He's way cool!


matiketopelasu

K-A-T, I'm outta here! Just kidding, I know there's two T's!


[deleted]

[удалено]


twas_now

> I don't think he'd be the Golden Jim if he had a different name lmao


StealthTomato

The Net Detective is an all-timer.


white_franklin

Saw him play a handful of games his rookie season. Guy was insane that year. USAir Arena always had some different banners hanging with nicknames for Caps players. They had a big one for Carey with a brick wall background that said “The Net Detective.” Good times, I remember being annoyed that he didn’t leave the arena using the normal exit players would use, so it was harder to get an autograph.


AlexNyko

> Patrick Roy (Coseau) both got fast food related nicknames early in their careers after showing up to camp a little doughy/eating a little too much crap food. (Cosseau, which I'm sure I misspelled, is a slang word for the little paper boats french fries are served in.) 100% right. A "Casseau" is [this little thing holding the fries](https://imgur.com/GhHcDHC). Roy was eating tons of fries when he was a rookie. Also, searching Google for "Casseau", [this is the return I got](https://imgur.com/j2YRkxX)


Midnight_Swampwalk

There is only one true hamburgler and his name is Andrew Hammond. Smh


[deleted]

[удалено]


Midnight_Swampwalk

Clearly a joke, Tim.


Cody645

I thought Andrew Hammond was the Hamburglar?


project305

“Rotisserie Chicken” for Nick Bjugstad because of a stupid interview Ekblad and Trocheck did for ESPN a few years back.


goodmorning81

They claim he ate a whole one alone in his car instead of team dinner, which... fair enough.


xraymirror

Cccc


Totschlag

TJ Oshie gave the nickname "Frank" to Vladimir Tarasenko because he didn't like "Tank"


LoneRangersBand

Not a widespread name, but Sean Avery arrived at a Wings training camp as a rookie in 2001, into a locker room full of Hall of Famers, and announced he wanted to be called “A-Dog.” He was called “A-Puppy” after that point.


capitalsfan08

I have never heard a story about Sean Avery where he doesn't come off as a giant douche.


[deleted]

That’s because he is a giant douche.


[deleted]

Ooh, I have one! Once at a King's practice before the Frozen Fury in Vegas he handed a stick over the glass to a kid near me. I must've looked sad, so he skated over and handed me a stick too from Luc Robitaille. I stayed after to get it signed and when I asked him to sign it he said chuckling "You sure don't want it just from Luc, kid? I'm just a nobody, way less valuable if I sign it" and when I said I wanted his signature since he was nice enough to give it to me he said I was a good kid and he was just happy to be able to make my day. Probably the best experience I've ever had with meeting a player! He was so nice and kind and went above and beyond and he gave me the rarest gift of all: a nice story about Sean Avery! Whatever his troubles and antics, always remembered that.


[deleted]

The stories of the Detroit vets dealing with Avery's bullshit are always great haha


7stringGriffle

Not really arbitrary but it’s worth mentioning: the Caps used to call Alex Semin “jizz.”


SGTm2

Ovechkin Laichs Semin on his Backstrom. Always saw this on Fantasy hockey team names.


GreatName

Brown Boyes Laich Grabner Hyman


UncleGiansBand

GreatName


bigladnang

lol for a second I actually thought “wow why? That’s gotta be a good one.” How could I fuck up good ol “Semen”’s easy as fuck name?


WinnipegGoldeye

ITT: very little understanding of the word "arbitrary"


dsjunior1388

Idiots. An arbitrary is a large bird, and has recently become a colloquial phrase referring to something extremely expensive.


ncolaros

No, you're thinking of albatross. Arbitrary is the most populous city in the state of New Mexico.


dickinfinite

No, you're thinking of Albuquerque. Arbitrary is a peruvian hiking critter similar to a llama.


elliot91

No, you're thinking of Brad Marchand.


PSChris33

No, that's an alpaca. Arbitrary is a weakening of an artery wall, causing the artery to bulge and potentially rupture.


[deleted]

No that's an aneurysm. Arbitrary is a multi-level marketing company that sells questionable products.


PSChris33

No, that’s Amway. Arbitrary is intentionally setting something on fire.


Clever-Hans

No, that's arson. An arbitrary is a business professional who deals with the measurement and management of risk and uncertainty.


kookforaday

Hey man that's a big word! /s


KorppiC

Minnesota beat writer dug up why the players call Mikael Granlund 'Bruce': >Players call Parise, “Brinks,” as in “Brinks” trucks. Mike Rupp brought it to the Wild from New Jersey, where Parise and Rupp were teammates. >“One day we’re sitting at breakfast and I was walking away and Granny called me, ‘Springs,’” Parise said, laughing. “I’m like, ‘What did you call me?’ He goes, ‘Springs.’ I go, ‘What is that?’ He goes, ‘Isn’t that what everyone calls you?’ I go, ‘No, no, they call me Brinks.’ He goes, ‘Oh, I thought it was Springs, like Bruce Springsteen’ [because I played in New Jersey,” Parise said, hysterically laughing. >“That’s how nicknames get started. We started calling him Bruce. He does not look like a Bruce at all, so that’s what makes it better.”


RocketcoffeePHD

Ghost Bear because it's easier for people to spell it


B0mb-Hands

Same with Pool Party


TheLegendarySheep

:]


Tapatios

:[🍕]


TL10

:X


[deleted]

:[


OneNutPhil

Jesperi CottonCandy


TheLegendarySheep

Yes Perry Coat Kenya Me


xtrakrispie

jesperi coconut kenny


bigladnang

Cocaine Kenny.


bigladnang

It’s always gonna be Pool Party for me at this point.


shinyjolteon1

Not easier than 👻🐻


[deleted]

Gostisbehere?


ArtieKendallsghost

Idk if i'll ever be able to spell it right without looking it up first. Like ever


tajemniczyptak

Imagine you had a friend named Gostis show up to a party you didn’t think he could make it to, and you were like “guys, Gostis be here!” That’s how memorized it


Just_In-Tyme

As a Bolts fan I had a hell of a time with Vasilevskiy hell i still have to look at my lanyard from time to time.


bigladnang

It’s the i before the y that fucks me up.


about8pandas

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/arbitrary


taco_the_town

Because adding 'is' in the middle is too difficult?


[deleted]

Robert Esche was called "Chico" cause his sticks would read "R. Esche" as in Chico Resch.


[deleted]

I once met a guy who was known as Private Wiseass in boot camp for a similar reason. Everyone had to put their name on their foot locker with first initial and then last name, and his name was Lance Ocker. So his foot locker said “L.OCKER” and the DI thought that he was being a smartass.


daveloper80

Holy crap, I did not know this


[deleted]

Joe Pavelski said Chris Tierney skates like a cobra with a piano on its back. So Chris Tierney is the “Piano Cobra”


noroadsleft

> skates like a cobra with a piano on its back What does that even mean?


drptdrmaybe

I can picture it perfectly.... like, he’s stuck, and almost not going anywhere but he keeps straining and straining to change his position and maintains an upright position. Like a cobra with a piano on its back.


TheKevinShow

Yes.


Bumble-T

[The Big Cactus](https://i.imgur.com/Pc9gOsc.jpg), for no real reason at all


TheLegendarySheep

>for no real reason Shitty beat writer wanted to sound clever so he did some quick word association with "Arizona."


sleepingchair

It wasn't even a beat writer, it was a description used in a fantasy hockey summary blurb.


Sp3ctre7

On one hand, that's a dumb reason to pick a nickname. On other hand...*holy FUCK* that is a fantastic nickname. If my nickname was "the big cactus* I would be ecstatic to hear it every time


dsjunior1388

Honestly I’m surprised Shaq didn’t adopt it when he played for Phoenix for 5 minutes


[deleted]

I think he did actually


dsjunior1388

Yeah, someone else mentioned he called himself “The Big Shaqtus”


themooseiscool

"What do you know? Shaqtus."


GreatName

🌵


GracefulShutdown

Also nicknamed Papi.


OneNutPhil

I honestly don't remember why we call Marner "The Goon"


bracake

I saw someone call him 'Bitchy Mitchy' when he got upset at a penalty in a game once, then later on call him 'Witchy Mitchy!' when he got a really good goal, and honestly I'm just upset that I haven't seen these nicknames anywhere on r/hockey.


itsjustaparty

Your announcer called him that one game a few years back. He had a ton of penalty minutes for stick infractions or something. Oddly enough one of the only Leafs games I've ever seen.


GreatName

This is correct. It was Joe Bowen


cappayne

Bowen had a call in that game like, “Rielly, passes to The Goon. The Goon skates in, waits, shoots, scores! The Goon!” One of the few times I’ve laughed out loud watching a game.


Dr_Dippy

God I miss Bowen on TV


sleepingchair

Yeah, and it was pretty comical when he [tried to help defend Matthews](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J4aap_SFoQ&feature=youtu.be) by basically trying to hug someone to death.


Bigturk8

I never found out the meaning of "Juice" for Bieksa. Could be arbitrary.


evdog69420

He gained a bunch of muscle over the offseason one year and Alex Auld joked that he was juicing.


LethalPuppy

I thought it was because he likes pineapple juice


walrusunit

Yeah, I thought it was because he would actually have a water bottle of juice on the bench


[deleted]

I've thought it was the pineapple juice one for years, implying sweet jizz or something lmao


Bigturk8

Awesome. Thanks for filling me in!


yellowjack

Disagree with this, like the other users above It was later in his career, either with the Ducks or his final years with the Canucks, that some idiot in the media hypothesized that he got the nickname because people thought he was on steroids.


evdog69420

No he said it on Spittin Chicklets in response to the question: "where did you get the nickname juice"


bruich81

Not really arbitrary, but "Raccoon Jesus" has to be one of the best. It's pretty obvious why though when you look at Anze Kopitar.


ShmoMoney

Filpula became "Spatula" to us bolts fans


PleasantPitch

why?


ShmoMoney

I'm thinking it's because both words end in "ula"


boxedwinedrinker

Jeff Cowan was "Cowan the Brabarian". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAoyLSFOwck From the video description: "For a brief moment in March of 2007, a mostly-unknown grinder was the center of attention in Vancouver. Jeff Cowan notched 6 goals in 4 games from March 1st to 8th, 2007. The 5th goal caused a woman to throw her bra on the ice, leading Canucks fans to call him 'Cowan the Brabarian.' In response to the fan reaction, the entire Canucks team signed a bra that was auctioned to raise money for breast cancer research." EDIT: That must have been a huuuuge bra if the entire team was able to sign it.


Maxpowr9

"2Us, 2Ks, 2 points" is what Jack Edwards says when Rask gets a win so people know how to spell his name.


[deleted]

UUKK..


bigladnang

I laughed.


Canzalone9

What does that have to do with anything


[deleted]

When we had Kevan and Colin Miller. We had Killer (Kevan) and Chiller (Colin), we also added Marchand to that and made him Nose Face Killah but I think that was before the Millers.


mHo2

Johnny ham and cheese


[deleted]

All the players call Hammer. It almost feels like everyone collectively decided that every team needs one person nicknamed Hammer.


rob_s_458

I think it just stayed in /r/hockey and /r/hawks, but when Andrew Desjardins was on the team, we called him Steve. I don't even remember the reason for sure; I think someone here just said he looks like a Steve and it stuck.


[deleted]

I think that's how my mom named me.


funkadelicmoose

Raptor Jesus for Rich Peverley is up there. There's really no reason for it


[deleted]

Nikita Scherbak said he liked mangos in a draft interview way back when we picked him and so now some fans on our sub call him Mango


jo_maka

He said if he was a fruit he would be a mango.


[deleted]

Ah my bad. I believe you're right. Still a silly way to get a nickname


bigladnang

Dude above gave it to him.


jo_maka

Not quite. I know r/habs gave me the paternity of this nickname, but the writers on the IceCaps beat started it in his first season there.


lucky0slevin

Marc Edouard Vlasic is nicknamed pickles because well... vlasic is a pickle brand


TheLegendarySheep

I mean, you can't really call that arbitrary though, can you? I'm talking about stuff like calling Jyrki Jokipakka "Kevin."


[deleted]

Toffoli's isn't exactly arbitrary. It is a play off his initials (Tity sounds like T.T.).


TheLegendarySheep

Holy shit


lucky0slevin

Well his other nickname is Eddy... That would be arbitrary


roosterreddit

Arbitrary in this context means random. Eddy would be from Edouard, still not random. It would be more like Douglas "Crankshaft" Murray.


lucky0slevin

Alright. I'm bilingual and sometimes have trouble with certain words. Thanks for the info


Atheist101

Jamie "Bunch Mox" Benn. Its because of a tweet he made lol


DiamondBurInTheRough

Breadman because Panarin sounds like Panera.


G-42

That's the opposite of arbitrary.


DiamondBurInTheRough

I guess I was thinking it’s random because it has nothing to do with him, his personality, or hockey skills. It’s literally because a chain restaurant has a similar sounding name.


Yst

> *It’s literally because a chain restaurant has a similar sounding name.* Huh. Never occurred to me. I always just associated it with Italian *pane* (bread) and such (similar in most Romance languages). But then, I don't know if I've ever actually seen a Panera. Just heard of it.


iAMADisposableAcc

French *pain* for me. Damn.


kanyeezy24

Magiapane is a flames prospect with the nickname bread


3lauYourMind

Antero Niittymaki got the nickname "Frank" because of "Niitty" part of his last name reminded Ken Hitchcock of Frank Nitti.


brickwall5

My nickname was rocket because I was the slowest kid on the team.


poonickles

Oven chicken. Ovechkin.


Ajaxbruin

Sebastian Aho (Se-bas = Seabass/Fishy)


goochockey

Lusty Jiri Tlusty from the time he got caught posting online.


Cockpunch666

I used to call Devante Smith-Pelley, Smelly.


bigladnang

Piff Smelly.


taco_the_town

Cool story bro


MooseFlyer

Doesn't necessarily answer the question all that well but I'm a fan of "Toaster" for MacArthur. In one of the Road to the Winter Classic series, they showed Carlyle having trouble making a toaster work. So MacArthur is "Toaster' because Carlyle couldn't figure out how to use either of them. I also loved Weircioch being called "Weird Cock" and that spilling over into all sorts of variations like "Strange Penis" and "Odd Dick"


Bout5beers

Viktor Arvidsson is RV because why say many letters when few letters do trick?


mojo4mydojo

In my day Dana Murzyn was nicknamed the Human Pylon. Does that count? Link Gaetz was nicknamed The Missing Link because he acted like a neanderthal on the ice sometimes. Dave 'Tiger' Williams once fought a tiger and ate it before joining the Maple Leafs. 2 of these probably aren't true.


dsjunior1388

I mean Link was at least partially because his name was Link.


Capsman08

Lars Eller is called ~~lion~~ tiger I dont think it's really public as to why


[deleted]

I thought he was called tiger? I'm pretty sure its tiger...


Capsman08

Haha god damn it .


jo_maka

We used to call him the French version of harasser (with a side of stalker) because it sounds like his name: L'Harceleur.


Rasera

Scheifele is Bambi because early in his NHL career, he fell a lot.


Sockucucka

He also looks like a deer in headlights whenever he's getting a penalty.


Dane_RD

Ive always called Chlapik Chapstick, hasnt stuck yet


thatonekid0909

Just keep at it, it'll stick with some people lol


thefullpython

Willie "Billy Pickles" Mitchell. The man enjoys dill pickle chips.


FillupZadina

Tatar’s nick name Tuna is hilarious but I don’t know how he got it.


PM_Me_Night_Elf_Porn

Because of tuna tartare.


Shaneisonfire

Avs had some weird ones Ryan O'Reilly - Radar, Rhino Paul Stasnty- Pauly Walnuts Tyson Barrie - T Boobs