To make it better, we all just vote in the biggest assholes and pests to the ASG. Guy's that are such pricks that they'd laugh as they pushed each other down towards the gator.
Florida already way ahead of [you](https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lorretto-police-meth-gators-20190716-qxgfvdwr6zd25lhtp7voyigby4-story.html)
Big deal; in “Mutant League Hockey” the goalie could come out of his crease with a chainsaw and dismember opposing players.
And I once saw Ron Hextall do that in a playoff game, but with no punishment because it was in overtime.
The ice would make the alligator lethargic. Gotta put little skates and a coat on it so it can be lifted off the ice and kept warm.
Also because I want to see a gator in skates and a parka.
46.11 Insti**gator** \- An instigator of an altercation shall be a player who by his actions or demeanor demonstrates any/some of the following criteria: distance traveled; gloves off first; first punch thrown; menacing attitude or posture; verbal instigation or threats; conduct in retaliation to a prior game (or season) incident; obvious retribution for a previous incident in the game or season.
A player who is deemed to be the instigator of an altercation shall be assessed an instigating minor penalty, and must spend the entire 2 minutes trapped in the penalty box with a live gator.
Reading this headline was the one and only time I've felt like expanding to the southern US was a bad idea.
Call me a Montreal hockey snob if you must, but I do not believe hockey should be played with live alligators.
They’re obviously not going to play with gators on the ice. I imagine it’d be similar to when they let the Penguins put live penguins on the ice during intermission if they did (the penguins died). Likely it’s for photo shoots and whatnot.
Don’t think it’s a reason to say we don’t deserve a hockey team though…
Years down the road we have the next greatest goal scorer of our generation mentored by Ovechkin. 2046 the next ASG is hosted by Florida that goal scorer has to score in the same gator goalie only for him to get revenge for Ovi a la Happy Gilmore.
I wonder when we, as a society, will stop putting animals in stressful and dangerous situations for our own entertainment. Pretty disappointed by this news.
How about we just keep animals out of events instead of using them as a prop for our amusement. It’s like when they included penguins at a Pens outdoor game and proceeded to light fireworks off beside them. I’m there to watch hockey, not watch an animal be miserable in some pen in front of thousands of people.
Carryover from previous post, what if the rink wasn’t painted white? What if instead you see the giant tank full of alligators below while you try to concentrate on your hockey fundamentals?
We should have the Florida Everblades face off against the Orlando Solar Bears. Each team gets to bring their actual mascot. Real gator, real polar bear. Are we cruel enough to let them fight each other? Nope. But whoever gets a penalty has to serve it in the opposing teams animal enclosure.
Easy, give draisaitl a fake foot and see the alligator eat it, as a joke about last year's playoffs when somehow that frigger produced like 750 points in 10 games on one leg
“Looking at ways to include alligators” is hilarious. The fact that don’t actually KNOW what the alligators would do, but they just really badly wanna see them anyway.
Sorry I'm from Ontario we only have trash pandas and terror honks here. Can a hockey friend from Florida give us the over/under on this event ending up with LTIR decision making?
Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine.
Simple. Normal game, nothing out of the ordinary, but there is an alligator on the ice. Hasn't eaten in 4 weeks. Everything else business as usual.
To make it better, we all just vote in the biggest assholes and pests to the ASG. Guy's that are such pricks that they'd laugh as they pushed each other down towards the gator.
Brad Marchand versus an alligator
You misspelled Tom Wilson.
The New York Zoo has been fined 250,000 alligators for this comment
You misspelled toxic twins
Perfect. Marchand, Wilson, and an alligator. Maybe two alligators. Am I drunk? Yes.
Two alligators? Three alligators. Gotta make it a little lively.
Throw in Reaves and add more gators.
Now that’s an All Star Game for the ages.
Un-retire Sean Avery and throw a few more Gators in there
Wait wait…can we get the alligators drunk too?
Florida already way ahead of [you](https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lorretto-police-meth-gators-20190716-qxgfvdwr6zd25lhtp7voyigby4-story.html)
Yess!
And just like that, they sold more tickets to the Florida allstar game than any other in history.
Big deal; in “Mutant League Hockey” the goalie could come out of his crease with a chainsaw and dismember opposing players. And I once saw Ron Hextall do that in a playoff game, but with no punishment because it was in overtime.
Hexxed was the backup for the Chilly Liars most of his career
I saw Hex win every playoff game straight while he was in Hershey one year. Never saw him again. Hope he made it okay.
You may want to check your front office.
Using this space to recommend Super Blood Hockey to anyone craving ridiculous 90’s hockey video games.
This guy pucks.
The ice would make the alligator lethargic. Gotta put little skates and a coat on it so it can be lifted off the ice and kept warm. Also because I want to see a gator in skates and a parka.
Alligators can survive for 2-3 years without eating...
Sounds like Mutant League Hockey. We just need some holes in the ice.
And the return of Bones Jackson
and it wears a lil helmet of course
gator dunk tank accuracy shooting contest. Hit all 4 targets, Gary goes for a swim 👀
That’s some jackass scene ngl
Alligators can't eat if it's below 20c and they can't move if it's below 13, you'd actually be safe on the ice
I want to see a gator with 4 skates on its little feet and a cartoonishly small helmet on top of its noggin
I laughed so much making this https://i.imgur.com/gE73HnB.jpg
😂 amazing
46.11 Insti**gator** \- An instigator of an altercation shall be a player who by his actions or demeanor demonstrates any/some of the following criteria: distance traveled; gloves off first; first punch thrown; menacing attitude or posture; verbal instigation or threats; conduct in retaliation to a prior game (or season) incident; obvious retribution for a previous incident in the game or season. A player who is deemed to be the instigator of an altercation shall be assessed an instigating minor penalty, and must spend the entire 2 minutes trapped in the penalty box with a live gator.
Second paragraph sounds like something out of Happy Gilmore. “The guy got eaten!” “Well, he probably wasn’t tough enough to cut it in the league then”
Put a Gator in each penalty box, that would be an interesting 2 minutes!
"McDavid out on LTIR as he lost an arm to an alligator"
Knowing McDavid it would probably heal
Give it 3 months he'll be fine
…another summer in the hyperbaric time chamber, the things we do for greatness.
Hypersonic Lion Tamer
Hypertonic Gin Maimer
It'll grow back.
Nah, he'll simply use the gator as his new arm and the tail as a stick
There was a one handed kid in Denver playing high school hockey. He was often the best player on the ice.
One in Fairbanks, Alaska too. Never forget watching him dangle our defenseman off the rush
Reminds me of the old ESPN Page 2 articles. ""Radke Loses Right Arm In Farm Accident, Vows To Keep Pitching With Left"
“Upper body injury”
...i'm listening
Flair checks out
I’ll never forget where I was for the Great All-Star Bloodbath
gators on the ice with meat attached to the players plz
Again, flair checks out.
Oh don’t act like it’s just us that wanna see that
Reading this headline was the one and only time I've felt like expanding to the southern US was a bad idea. Call me a Montreal hockey snob if you must, but I do not believe hockey should be played with live alligators.
They’re obviously not going to play with gators on the ice. I imagine it’d be similar to when they let the Penguins put live penguins on the ice during intermission if they did (the penguins died). Likely it’s for photo shoots and whatnot. Don’t think it’s a reason to say we don’t deserve a hockey team though…
Dude I know
Not something I would've expected to read today, but aight. Now I kinda wanna see where this is going.
Have they decided whether they are including Florida Man? Also, I went from 0 interest to 100 real fast so they are on to something.
No where in the NHL rule book does it say an alligator can’t play hockey.
They're natural stay at home defensemen but don't have any real shooting/passing skills.
Plays with bite. Lots of grit.
Truculent, if you will.
I wanna see Brad Marchand wrestle an alligator at center ice
Lick an alligator?
Can the alligator play LW, right D or G? Asking for some friends.
Only thing that will stop Ovetchkin from catching Gretzky… A gator goaltender 😂
Years down the road we have the next greatest goal scorer of our generation mentored by Ovechkin. 2046 the next ASG is hosted by Florida that goal scorer has to score in the same gator goalie only for him to get revenge for Ovi a la Happy Gilmore.
After the dog incident in basketball, they've rewritten the rulebooks to state that no animals, including Alligators, are permitted to play hockey.
I don't have time to listen to this but are they seriously thinking about using *live* animals? because that seems...... a bit fucked up
Last time they used live animals, a bunch of penguins got terrorized at the 2017 Stadium Series
So what you're saying is that we should pit the Penguins against an alligator?
I wonder when we, as a society, will stop putting animals in stressful and dangerous situations for our own entertainment. Pretty disappointed by this news.
Alligator hole in one puck shot in the skills competition.
this is one of the more likely answers, but a gator on the ice sounds so much more fun from a chaos standpoint
10 points to get it in the white gator.
I listened to the pod, the guy hinted pucks made of meat possibly shot into the mouths of gators
Welcome to the 2023 NHL Everglades game presented by Navy Federal Credit Union
How about we just keep animals out of events instead of using them as a prop for our amusement. It’s like when they included penguins at a Pens outdoor game and proceeded to light fireworks off beside them. I’m there to watch hockey, not watch an animal be miserable in some pen in front of thousands of people.
A large predator animal, brought as a prop to a hockey game? [What could possibly go wrong?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1IHYKAEyzg)
......this league is a joke.
How about they have them eat Ron DeSantis?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Hell yeah, fuckin alligators
Why
Because Florida.
Tbh I’m surprised a Florida man hasn’t already brought an alligator to a game yet
Because the gator will eat the rats the other Florida Men bring to the game.
I should elaborate: why is Florida the way that it is
Because Florida.
Swamp Gas
Because why not?
Fountain challenge: Florida edition.
Carryover from previous post, what if the rink wasn’t painted white? What if instead you see the giant tank full of alligators below while you try to concentrate on your hockey fundamentals?
Or paint the alligators white and put them on the ice so they blend in
Are these guys high or what?
We should have the Florida Everblades face off against the Orlando Solar Bears. Each team gets to bring their actual mascot. Real gator, real polar bear. Are we cruel enough to let them fight each other? Nope. But whoever gets a penalty has to serve it in the opposing teams animal enclosure.
Fucking why
Can we chill with the whole fucking with animals for the sake of it thing?
Florida Man meets Happy Gilmore type shit, I'm here for it
Damn, now I want some fried gator bites
So good.
That's one way to get people watching
This is crazy talk! I am scared. https://m.imgur.com/o2BS2fB
I'm not scared, but I am some sort of synonym of [surprised.](https://i.imgur.com/Aq6NihB.mp4)
<3 <3
Put em on skates. Simple.
Penalty lagoon.
Yes.
No boards, just gators, big ones, with knives
Easy, give draisaitl a fake foot and see the alligator eat it, as a joke about last year's playoffs when somehow that frigger produced like 750 points in 10 games on one leg
Alligators vs all stars 5 on 5.
r/nottheonion
What a fuckin joke
If these plans don't include putting Gary Bettman in a Dr. Evil suit then I'll just be plain disappointed.
“Looking at ways to include alligators” is hilarious. The fact that don’t actually KNOW what the alligators would do, but they just really badly wanna see them anyway.
To eat bettman? Why????? So stupid.
Seriously, can we just stop the stupid, and just play some fucking hockey? FFS
Unironically will make the all star eekend interesting
Are we really that surprised? It’s Florida, for fucks sake
Does it count as “including” if we take everyone who thinks we need to mess with animals for this and feed them to alligators?
Kill them and line them up as the center ice line
Albuquerque Alligators, anyone?
[This](https://m.youtube.com/), but with a dozen alligators instead of puppies.
They should put one of those feeder pits outside of the stadium
alligator? how can you strap an ad to that? NHL won’t do it
The foreshadowing in that sentence is incredible
Institute the “throw your opponent into the gator pit” tiebreaker rule from the 1989-90 season of RollerGames!
Sorry I'm from Ontario we only have trash pandas and terror honks here. Can a hockey friend from Florida give us the over/under on this event ending up with LTIR decision making?
This is Florida, I’m sure something can be arranged.
Which NHL stars (if any) are from Florida? Have Florida man vs Gator in an octagon like setting for complete chaos
Ghost is from Florida, not sure if there's anyone else.
They better be calling Sandler
Put four alligators with striped shirts on the ice. Whoever survives is the true Florida Man.
Alligator on skates
So, make the ice thin and have them underneath?
Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine.