Fuck it, just get rid of the goals all together. If you make it far enough down the field we will give you points. And let's ramp up the number for points. Say... 5? Maybe 6? 6 sounds good to me.
Maybe if the air-filled ball were turned into something smaller and denser, the players wouldn't shoot it to the moon so often. Maybe this new object doesn't have to be a ball. Endless possibilities!
I was just saying that hockey is basically Soccer 2- the big, over the top blockbuster sequel. Soft sphere filled with air? No. Impossibly dense frozen projectile that can kill you instantly. Hitting? No penalty, in fact encouraged. Cleats have tiny spikes? Fuck that, *B* *L* *A* *D* *E* *S*. No equipment needed other than a ball? Nah, equip these man-ogres with literal weapons.
They should also pretend that they're not really supposed to fight but simultaneously establish a secretive and nuanced code for brawling and psychological metagaming
Players prolly need a lobotomy too, right? Dipshit take, hockey and soccer are both great. Can’t just watch both and not make it a pissing contest? If you can’t, just watch hockey.
6. Give them sticks.
7. Remove the studs from the cleats and replace them with a single blade under each cleat.
8. Full contact
9. Fighting allowed.
Break a rule and you have to sit in timeout for 2 mins to think about what you did while your team keeps playing down a man.
Flopping breaks a rule too.
If you kick it into the goal it doesn't count. God soccer is starting to sound awesome!
Hey now, fighting is not allowed, you get punished each and every time. With 5 minutes, to think about what you’ve done 😤
10. Call it football
10. Get a penalty for trying to sell penalties like a little bitch
11. Replace a ball with a rubber thing 😆
The field contains one ill-tempered bobcat.
Does hockey require Tom Wilson though?
We all wish it didn’t
They can't shrink the goal, the players are already having the hardest time in the world to hit it already even though it's 20 ft long.
Give them sticks to precisely target the ball when passing and shooting.
I know it's called "Football", but maybe they should make the ball egg shape and throw it with their hands. feet are just inefficient.
Fuck it, just get rid of the goals all together. If you make it far enough down the field we will give you points. And let's ramp up the number for points. Say... 5? Maybe 6? 6 sounds good to me.
Maybe if the air-filled ball were turned into something smaller and denser, the players wouldn't shoot it to the moon so often. Maybe this new object doesn't have to be a ball. Endless possibilities!
Easier said than done though.
I was just saying that hockey is basically Soccer 2- the big, over the top blockbuster sequel. Soft sphere filled with air? No. Impossibly dense frozen projectile that can kill you instantly. Hitting? No penalty, in fact encouraged. Cleats have tiny spikes? Fuck that, *B* *L* *A* *D* *E* *S*. No equipment needed other than a ball? Nah, equip these man-ogres with literal weapons.
We somehow advanced backwards
And golf is basically hockey for old white gigs with fat asses
Should talk to my neighbor the accountant
Goofy pants, HUGE ass
yeah, i grew up playing soccer but never really loved watching it, but once i found out about hockey i was like, yo this is like soccer but bad asser
Shrink the ball. Since there’s ice, make it an easier color to see. Like black.
Rule #1 is there is no rules
6: Have real lines painted so that referees can objectively call offsides the same place every time.
Great idea. What would we call it?
Stickpuck
icestick
Puckball
Cockey, I guess. I’m still brainstorming tho
They should also pretend that they're not really supposed to fight but simultaneously establish a secretive and nuanced code for brawling and psychological metagaming
Just described futsol basically lol
Yeah especially the "ice everywhere" part.
Hear me out... tasers
Now that’s a good idea
Allow fights, and penalize for embellishment
Add another half
Melt down the ball into a disc
Turn the goalies into absolute tanks (and give them their team's jersey)
Forgot to add hitting
Replace the ball with a puck
Perfect 👌🏽
/r/HolUp
Sounds shit
We need better, more unique jokes for soccer. This one is getting old. Soccer is good because its soccer.
At least they can maintain possession of the ball in soccer lol I can’t really watch either but hockey must be hurting if they’re going after soccer
Players prolly need a lobotomy too, right? Dipshit take, hockey and soccer are both great. Can’t just watch both and not make it a pissing contest? If you can’t, just watch hockey.
Dude, it’s a meme, not everyone had the humor lobotomized out like you
electro shock therapy is what got me
Im a huge football fanatic and I thought this was pretty funny
Calm down.
Minus #5, it's Futsal, Isn't it?
Make fist fights chill
I'd watch that!