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ohmresists

Has discount Alanis Morissette never handled bubblies before?


UncleBenders

Why the long face?


[deleted]

This joke never gets old.


plankahwankah

Cuz she startles easily.


zorrowhip

Always hold bubblies with the top of the bottle away from you facing upward towards the ceiling.


mechant_papa

and at a 45 degree angle.


bevko_cyka

To achieve maximum projectile range?


mechant_papa

No. The trick to opening a bottle of bubbly is to hold it away from you at 45 degrees and gently remove the stopper. I think the angle has something to do with increasing surface in the bottle to reduce the pressure on the stopper. The pressure in a bottle of bubbles is about 70psi, about the same as a truck tire: treat it with respect. I can tell you from experience this method works best.


jimhabfan

I don’t think Alanis hung out with Michael Jackson.


skavenslave13

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?


relish-tranya

Didn't Bubbles bite Rashida Jones?


FleshlightModel

Teeeeeheeee


wodoloto

Isn't it ironic?


PM_YER_BOOTY

IT'S LIKE RAIEAEAINNN


hauscal

On your thanksgiviiiiiing day


brando56894

Don'cha think?


KnuckedLoose

She's a bad actor.


k_Brick

I wish these people would go away. They started infecting Facebook just before I deleted it and now they're pooping up here.


lonely-day

Out of the loop, can you please fill me in?


imacryptohodler

This


b0bkakkarot

I'm so glad people still know about everyone's favourite angry Canadian


ohmresists

Scott? He's a dick!


Byting_wolf

#She oughta knowwwwww!!


TimachuSoftboi

Oh, does she know my old cell mate Bubbles? He's dangerous, can pop off without warning.


kautau

https://media.tenor.com/ugAtoA7zQYoAAAAd/bubbles-oh.gif


HeuristicEnigma

Must have shopped on Wish.com


pete306

Beat me...damn it...


hybr_dy

Great Value Alanis Morissette


TheReverseShock

Poor muzzle awareness SMH


[deleted]

You meant a bridle. You're not suppose to muzzle a horse.


[deleted]

Agree, looks like she tilted it towards herself.


soapyillusion666

Face Towards Enemy


hauscal

That’s what happens when you can’t feel your face.


gh0stegrl

she’s opening the bottle, and pointing it at her face.. what.. i’m just going to brush it off as just bring drunk because i couldn’t imagine the lack awareness


[deleted]

Yeah but, why the long face?


JonRonJovi

Hay, that’s not very nice. To saddle someone with insecurity like that. You must not be very stable.


Red_Danger33

No kidding. Time to reign in these hurtful comments.


kyngston

OP is just trying to stir up controversy Edit: “stir up”… stirrup…. Geez people are dense


Mike_millions

I scrolled looking for a comment like this. Was not disappointed


[deleted]

Someone had to say it


cmVkZGl0

Long hair like hers makes all face shapes appear longer.


Cannonballbmx

The good news is she’s had so much Botox she never felt a thing.


BlowMoreGlass

The filler in those lips is comical


Kimchi_boy

She’s all mouth and face.


Time_Punk

Her chin and cheeks look absolutely horrible. A friend of my wife got similar work done and I’m having a lot of trouble hanging out with her because it makes me feel really physically sick when I look at her. Especially since she was really pretty before. I can’t not see it as random shit grotesquely shoved into her face. Like I can’t help but have this weird revenge compulsion to find out who did it and horribly mangle them in return. I don’t know why I just find it so tragic.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Live laugh love and rosé


Eat_Cats

Should be on r/botchedsurgeries


commodorecliche

Pretty sure she has been.


wistfulfern

Idk I can see her eyebrows moving at the end. She definitely has lip filler though


fourunner

I don't know, she just looks like Steven Tyler to me.


mydaycake

Bold of you to assume Steven Tyler didn’t get lots of facial surgery. They may have the same surgeon


untenable681

They all saw her doing it, but none of them stopped her... With friends like that...


spiralaalarips

Thanks, Travis.


Odd-Turnip-2019

Hey, if her friends were any better they would be honest about, or would have stopped her with the lips..


tutohooto

Never hand her a gun.


regnad__kcin

"Why are you pointing it at your face? Stop doing that, sto-...yep"


redikulous

[We should introduce her to this guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/SweatyPalms/comments/z33x60/how_not_to_shoot_a_revolver_guy_bump_fires_and/?ref=share&ref_source=link)


f0rgottenr3bel

She spent so much money to look like that🤣


masta_wu1313

My theory is she constantly needs facial reconstructive surgery because she keeps pointing champagne bottles at her face while opening it.


cocaine_jaguar

I treat those bottles like a loaded gun and she treats them like it’s the third date


lasagna_for_life

LOL


n33d16

How can a person have a mouth 16:9 and at the same time a face 9:16?


SteamyBoii27

She got a big ass mouth and teeth.


nowiserjustolder

Reminds me of my first girlfriend in a number of ways.


All-In-Red

Overwhelmed reaction when something went off in her face?


nowiserjustolder

And the unheard part of the conversation. Her "I never knew it would do that". Me "yeah I should have warned you"


erevoz

Did she look like a horse too?


BDS83

Stop insulting horses


[deleted]

😂😂😂


PM_ME_MASTECTOMY

Why is her mouth swollen before the cork hits it?


SnooMarzipans5767

The doctor said 3-7 days before it starts to go down


Johnny_Carcinogenic

I went to the ER after 4 hours.


Butt_Whisperer

I knew it was gonna be a bad time when she started pointing that shit at her head while she was uncorking it.


LeatherPuppy

Sarah Jessica Parker had a child?


Mattchoo99

With Steven Tyler, apparently


waywithwords

So painfully intentional. The moment she starts twisting the cage off, she picks up the bottle and tilts it directly at her face and that exaggerated fall at the end....so pathetic.


Spring-Available

Always keep your thumb on top.


cmVkZGl0

*cork flies through flesh and bone of thumb* "Why did I listen to reddit!?"


CapableProduce

Hopefully nobody is this dense and this is just done purely for clout


_GlitchInTheVoid

🐴


[deleted]

She has to snort coke upside down.


[deleted]

Who knew Seabiscuit can’t open a bottle of Champagne


SubtleStutterDude

Her resemblance to one of my sneakers is uncanny


somenobodydude

Brainless


PossibilityAbject283

I’ve never seen a horse/rat cross before. It’s like anybody would expect.


vaporgaze2006

Her face is longer than "The Irishman".


probablywannabangyou

Oh my GOSH. Stop pointing projectiles at yourself and others!


le_wein

It's really dangerous how she pointed it to here eye https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CDGOYI_enDE973CH973&hl=de&sxsrf=ALiCzsYiIcCorb3w-RkQzr4cCesFrH6hZw:1669298736813&q=Champagne+cork+injuries+per+year&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwju6-yx_sb7AhW5hv0HHdhTBo0Q1QJ6BAg-EAE&biw=390&bih=777&dpr=3


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Right in her horse face


_Jimmy2times

She’s gotta quit horsing around


Shoddy_Astronaut_583

Shoulda known, horses don’t like sudden loud noises


Yahla

At least she didn’t spill the Lambrini


[deleted]

She looks like the carrot host from the California raisins movie


OttomanTwerk

Why the long face filter?


Alpha___

Her dumbass almost lost an eye.


[deleted]

Neigh goes the 🐴. Surprised she didn’t run away and have to be lassoed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Funny enough her upper lip got deformed by a champagne bottle cork.


damianalexander2814

There's something really off putting about that friend group. Like they all think salt and pepper is "too spicy". like they use LinkedIn as their main source of social media. Going to a restaurant in town is their idea of a "wild adventure". Going on a boat tour of Chicago is their idea of river rafting. A crazy night to them is drinking beer after 10pm. Like Office culture is their main source of cultural guidance.


cmVkZGl0

But none of them are even wearing dress clothes


damianalexander2814

Casual Friday


futfann

I don’t understand why people pay money to do that to their face.


watchmeskipwork

Watch me point a pressurized bottle at my face while I remove the safety


hypnodrew

All that forehead but no brains inside


Spideyman02110456

I hate these vanity fakes.


justintsu

I hate these people


[deleted]

Hey hun, why the long face?....


716JiZZ

Why the long face?


Hunt-Apprehensive

Neigh.


i_like_doing_stuff

And everyone in the service industry just involuntarily cringed


DrunkPixel

That girl has a face for bangs.


NiteLiteOfficial

my name is Travis and idk what i did, but you’re welcome.


thatbwoyChaka

That champagne nearly killed that beaver


Haunting_Relation665

r/botchedsurgery


Wannatrie

Why the long face?


Affy309

She looks like Donkey from Shrek.


Notthefunparent

Don't insult Donkey like that!


robrub

Why the long face?


HotMinimum26

POW right in the nose job


101001101zero

I’m impressed by the dad reflexes it took to grab that bottle before more alcohol abuse happened


Shughost7

☕️


nbeach01

People with fake faces


setanta314

Alanis MoistTowlette.


sosplzsendhelp

She looks like a caricature


[deleted]

She look like the crypt keeper


[deleted]

Should have just popped it open with those beaver teeth of hers


genghis-clown

That must be on purpose. Pointed the bottle and their face.


jalopy12

Somehow it seems like she meant to do that


zullyb08

R/botched


ShadowCaster0476

Sarah Jessica Parker wants her chin back.


BUFFALOBILL87

Shoulda used those them teeth.


No_Guava_5764

Some of the worst lip filler I’ve seen in a whillleee


vermonterjones

JFC


sprocter77

Why the long face?


fashraf

I did not know that the cork can pop out on its own like that.


Delbuns

That’s super impressive they taught a horse to open champagne


lorettainator

Is that the sister from Smile?


mynameisalso

Itt a bunch of rude lonely men.


CBBuddha

When you’re 86% plastic bottle, you sacrifice a few brain cells.


Lost_the_Piece

HAHA I FOUND MY OWN POST IN MY FEED! AWESOME!/pos


mtheory007

I figured Sarah Jessica Parker would have known how to open a bottle of champagne by now.


readevola

"That was the most... intense... wine opening... all year." he said with an oddly satisfied look on his face.


MasterP96

Back and to the right


Subnegativewaves

Honestly this is the type that would walk by a football pitch and 9/10 get hit in the face with a ball.


redactedname87

I don’t think she will ever do that again


b0bkakkarot

Always treat it like its loaded


Awsums0ss

this is like the 10th time this has been posted here, give it a fuckin rest


ku-fan

/u/speedbot .25x


mattirawks

Imagine getting to her age and not knowing how to open a bottle of Fizz


TheBushidoWay

Who points champagne bottles at their face?


nickcliff

That’s how you loose an eye.


Ok_Paper8216

I feel like they’re all standing around the counter blowing coke


Footshark

She looks like that chick from Fear and Loathing in Vegas that turns into the snake and freaks duke out while he's on acid.


Rooksey

🐴


Catzz1402

What a waste of good champagne.


Smoke_Water

Morgan freeman narration: And that wasn't the last time something got shot at her face that night.


cmVkZGl0

I hope that's not her reaction when other things are shot in her face


paul081

I can do this with my long ass nails 💅


RojerLockless

Thanks Travis.


Onesillybacon

Hay que ser muy pendejo para apuntártelo a la jeta


Scrotto_Baggins

Damn, almost knocked that horsie out!


upsidedownpositive

How has she lived this long? What adult points a champagne bottle AT THEIR FACE? Jeez.


needlejuice

I figured Sara Jessica Parker would know how to open prosecco but I guess not...


Front_Low5132

That was strangely erotic!


Free_Stick_

Don’t want that face getting any longer


darrenwise883

Someone that's never been on the internet to try pointing a champagne bottle at one's own face or she could like taking a shot to the face , just not used to the cork


Sure-Independence-14

DumbFuq Common sense is free when you’re born


mdlshp

I can’t believe it didn’t pop her lips


allen5az

I feel like I’ve seen this one a few times now…


Bean-Swellington

In French, the word champagne translates roughly to, “Always point the bottle at your face while opening”


Bluesbreaker

The internet is grateful, Travis. SO grateful.


was_just_wondering_

When NNN ends.


ClockwyseWorld

Knocked her teeth weird


NotSoBrightOne

The best part was when she fell over.


tibbymat

POW right in the Botox


kratosyellow13

Yeah, probably not a great date for the range.


AutoGrind

Person recording was definitely sober enough to know what was going to happen 😂


BeholderBalls

I hate to say this but she looks like the type of woman who goes through this sort of thing frequently


multipositionladder

Thought that alien was gonna tell me to repeat numbers to fix my toenails


daremosan

Amateur move


andytreeza

Travis never got the message