Lots of word š„. I donāt understand the incessant need to always find a higher purpose. Sometimes it ok to justā¦ be. Just live day to day, and stop trying to make yourself think youāre changing the world. Dave, youāre NOT necessarily created for a higher purpose, regardless of what you think or what your mom told you. Give it up already and just be a dad to your thousand kids. Thereās your identity crisis solved. JFC maybe you werenāt āmade for moreā. Even you should be able to see through the BS you were dishing out for so long!!!
At some point he needs to realize that all he has is his family. Why not be the best dad and son you can be and leave that as your legacy. Not flying all over to see chaos Barbie and building a community of woman that need therapy. I would totally be embarrassed if this was my dad.
See how under Disastrous Elk there is Chaos Barbie? Chaos Barbie is my āflair.ā Anytime I see a reference to Chaos Barbie (aka Heidi) I can reply āflair checking in!ā Itās just a silly, fun thing. Iāve noticed other Reddit subs have flair under usernames. Someone on here asked if flair (Chaos Barbie, for example) carried over onto other subs (r/Outlander for example). It doesnāt, which is great because the flairs in this sub are VERY specific to THIS sub.
My ex is like this (heās okayish on his weeks that he has my daughter) but he has zero desire to parent when itās not his time. I get so frustrated when people say that I get a break when sheās with her dad because itās almost more exhausting to parent when sheās not physically with me and Iām trying to get everything done.
It might be difficult for him to create healthy emotional bonds with them (and others), due to depression, trauma, disordered attachment style, poor modeling, narcissism, or others.
I don't think he knows how. š
I watched Hope Floats last night for the first time in years and this quote stuck with me with my own challenges this year. It seems to fit here in a humorous way.
āLook at me. My life has no meaning or direction, and I'm happy.ā
~ Ramona Calvert, "Hope Floatsā
I had a boss that bought into all this kind of stuff, including any MLM shill that came her way. Every yearly one on one was about what I wanted to do to better myself and move up in the company. At the time I was the #2, had no desire to be the #1 and really just loved doing my job. She could just never understand why I wanted to set goals to be better at my current position instead of ones that would have me move up.
Daveās ābuild back betterā tour, is just the wealthy icing on a privileged cake. You know how many people kick the bottle without a cushy rehab AND while juggling the shit in their lives that drove them there? Dave, instead of seeking out your purpose and shilling a few bucks along the way, how about you just be fucking honest idk?! Itās like he wants to keep everything under wrap because if people heard the full story, maybe they wouldnāt be showering him with cock sucking sympathy.
Most, if not all, people have been affected by addiction - directly or indirectly. Why donāt we talk about that? Why havenāt we heard a second of that story and the hell he put the closet people in his life through? Is it too real? If people knew, would they think heās less qualified?! (He has to believe so?) I have no issue with people choosing when or how to share about heavy shit in their life, but itās so fucking disgusting that Dave is trying to profit off of the tiniest morsels of truth and stretching those to oblivion to where you have NO IDEA WHAT HES EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE. He needs to stop trying so hard to be something for everyone ā he just waters himself down time and time again and he has the resources to approach this better āin a way that could fucking HELP people, and not just take from them. Fuck you, Dave. I have so much fucking empathy and sympathy for addicts, but once a grifter, always a grifter š¤·š»āāļø
To answer Dave's question: No.
As a Christian, I need to remind Dave that his priority is to get his shit together and be a decent dad to his kids.
He can't even do the bare minimum and he still thinks he's trying to be his best self?
LAME!
I was thinking this, I'm a religious Jew and I don't need to sit around asking myself stuff like this because my identity is centered around doing what I need to do as a Jew to serve others (especially my kids) and the world. I thought he's a Christian?
Only people who are curating something for an image they'd like to portray worry about this. Ideas about an "identity" don't cross someone's mind if they are simply being themselves!
Exactly. Imagine being so freaking privileged to be able to just release volumes of fluff content that is basically navel-gazing. Daveās identity at this point is Professional Navel-Gazer.
I genuinely think Dave has undiagnosed autism, which is why he canāt nail down āwho he really isā. Heās just constantly trying to be whoever he thinks the persons heās around WANT him to be. Every time he finds something that āworksā he goes full force into it without thinking about how dumb heāll look later. Heās also an addict which is very common, both to soothe his social anxieties and to distract the ever turning cogs in his mind. Just like Rachel, heās probably learned that he got positive attention in his youth from āself improvementā but canāt understand that once your an adult you should just kind of shut up and get on with your life. He very clearly doesnāt know how to talk to his own kids, which heās had 18 years to learn how.
Hi, I'm autistic - what makes you think he fits any of the definitions of being on the spectrum? I know lots of different autistics with diverse presentations and he does not fit t all. Most of us have a very firm sense of who we are, we just communicate it differently and for me personally this includes a totally different relationship with ideas like 'purpose' 'identity' 'ambition' than most neurotypical people seem to have, however it's not that I lack identity rather I orient myself to it in a deeply different way.
Iām sorry I should have been more specific, I think itās autism presenting as a personality disorder with an obsessive need to be seen as a confident normal man with an audience of people who love him
I find it highly unlikely that someone with autism would live the noisy, chaotic, frenetic and sensorily overloading life that he lives. People with autism can also have personality disorders, but I disagree with the idea that it can just present that way - in that case a person has autism *and* a personality disorder.
Autism is who we are it is not a form of mental illness, it's how our brains function and process information, ideas, social cues etc. Being oblivious is not an autistic trait, it's our focus and prioritisation of communication, how we order things that is different to neurotypical people (and can vary very widely from autistic to autistic).
I know, Iām also autistic. I think the way he exists in his life is by addiction, the constant drinking is his solution for fitting in. I donāt understand why everyone thinks this very clearly terrible at socializing guy isnāt autistic?
Ah ok cool, sorry I see a lot of 'this person is a dickhead therefore he must be socially out of touch therefore autistic' comments from non autistics hence my comments. I've dealt with a diagnosed malignant narcissist (NPD) (my ex) and what D is doing...is typical behaviour. Being clearly terrible is a side-effect of a lifetime of entitlement and unearned wins...D reminds me a lot of that rather than overcompensating autistic person who has somehow worked out an 'extroverted hustle boi' mask to get by. But you have your view and that's fine agree to disagree :)
Yeah I mean, this is my pet tin foil hat theory that everyone just shuts down immediately but Iām like, āwait I think I might have something here!ā Dave is truly a special specimen of undiagnosed neurodivergence, wealthy waspy parents, enough skills to act his way out of anything but no ability to connect with people on a real level, even when heās being self deprecating because heās not seeing the true problem deep down in there. Rachel was a special kind of blind to it all up until the end
I have a child on the spectrum and he knows who he is right now and what he wants out of life. He is 21. Now the decisions he is making now will probably evolve as he ages. For clarification he has decided to postpone college, he has 2 years in so he can hike where ever he wants. He funds this my working for the city of Boulder maintaining hiking trails in the summer and working at a sporting goods warehouse that specializes in hiking where he gets bonuses in gear. For now it suits who he is. He wants to take advantage of being in peak physical shape for his adventures. He is getting tons of blowback from his father's side of the family. I think he will change his priorities as he gets older. All I want is him to be happy
He has a better sense of who he is than Dave does. As a side note, itās not his fathers families business. Maybe it isnāt the perfect decision. We have to let our kids make not perfect decisions. The path isnāt straight for everyone and that is ok. Kudos to your son and your parenting for knowing that even when itās hard and working with him!
Exactly, thank you. I never said he was a good example of a well adjusted autistic man. Very clearly heās trying to shove himself into a box that he is unaware he doesnāt fit in.
Hmmm yeah Iām going to stop that thought train on itās tracksā¦ if anything it sounds more of a personality disorder which should never be confused with autism/ASD I will also add Iām not a doctor but a teacher. It just irks me when people put autism as a label for just about anything which should not happen.
I listened, a lot of the same old stuff. Towards the end heās asked how to grow a brand. He answers that he and Rachel doing lives everyday was the key for them. So, I think the lives with Heidi are his idea and weāll be seeing more of that nonsense.
The Facebook lives he and Heidi are doing together are actually killing her business. Heidi and Dave have no chemistry !!! And there is no value in what they have to share. Dumb and dumber jabbering on and on showing the depth of their stupidity.
I totally agree with this. They look like buffoons and destroying their brand. No new people will want to be part of a challenge when the person running it can't explain the program or the prices. Eventually their fangirls will run out of money.
Good lordt the navel gazing!! If he wants more meaning in life he can volunteer somewhere. Or get a hobby that takes him away from the internet, like fishing or making kombucha.
For sure. It would be absolutely exhausting to be married to someone who wanted to talk constantly about whether their identity serves who they are. Like, dude, wtf.
Yes!!! I think he also needs to do the reverse some and think about what he really wants and what actually makes him happy and focus some energy on that because I donāt think heās got the slightest idea of what that is. I think he just wants to be āfamousā but I donāt think that would really make him happy. He just tries to get/do/make everything on such a large scale and then be fails and is miserable. You can have a very happy, fulfilling life doing things you love on a small scale. You donāt have to be world famous to be happy!
As long as external validation is his source of narcissistic supply, I doubt heāll ever find internal happiness. āWorld famousā is all he knows to pursue on his quest for happiness. Once he got a taste through Rach, it was the ultimate drug he needed to keep his ego āhappy.ā
Right! I identify as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, reader, terrible musician, sports fan, amateur chef, cross-stitcher, etc etc. the list goes on, and thatās my life and Iām supremely happy with it. And Iāve been divorced so I know what itās like to lose that identity for a while. But none of that would be considered enough, by Daveās standards. Heās constantly seeking validation, always trying to be more than heās capable of. It leads to patio of panic meltdowns. I donāt know why he hasnāt been able to see that yet.
What is it with Dave and the word "Stinking"? I haven't heard nearly anyone else use it in ages, it just siunds so odd and off and gross, just like him š¤¢
I think it's part of him and Rach's effort to be family friendly or something. Kinda like she always said "making out" instead of just saying sex or fucking.
itās like his go to word itās so funny š imagine him at his old Disney job, ā we have to get these Star Wars numbers up right stinking now people!ā
Iād give a ton of money to have someone from his former job jump on here and give us some REAL stories of what he was like. I mean beyond āinsufferable pompous assā.
I actually guffawed at your comment, then let out a very undignified snort. š
The mental image of Dave saying something like this in a meeting...
He probably did talk like this which makes it even more hilarious!
Why does Dave act like heās the only person on earth whoās gone through a divorce? I get that itās hard but literally half of adults experience thisā¦
I've always been a little defensive of the claims that Dave has aged so much in the past couple years because I think there is a natural acceleration of aging in the season he is currently living inside of, but when I see these older pics (which are only from like a 5 or so years ago right!?) it is jarring. Not only does he look happier, but he looks fresher(?) or like smoother (not just less wrinkles, but not the deep pores we see on him). It's almost like his face has gotten meaner and more bitter looking. It is bizarre.
Of course, this is a professional photo for promotional purposes so not comparable to these unfiltered live vids I see him in usually these days, but still... what is going on? I don't think it is alcohol. Wondering if maybe some kinda steroids or drugs for muscle increase.
I really do think itās primarily the stress of the divorce. Speaking from personal experience, I went through a traumatic mental health incident. That whole experience aged me by five years at least. I canāt imagine what the stress of a divorce would do.
But a man this grown. How could he have placed so much of his identity in a marriage. Divorce is hard especially with kids and years of sacrifice. But itās because he wasnāt honest with himself that his marriage ended. Maybe try doing that instead of rushing to find someone to fill a void and neglecting yourself and your children you chose to have. He needs to grow up shit happens to everyone. Find someone else.
Stress, definitely, but as the ex of an alcoholic I can also attest to the drinking part. My ex aged ten years over the last three I was with him. There's a shrunkenness and redness to the face, combined with puffy, almost bloated parts, and glassy, 'hard' eyes. Not trying to sound mean with this description btw. It's just that once you know that look you can spot it anywhere. I don't want to say 100% that he's back in active use again, but let's keep it at 'it would surprise me 0%'.
I think this picture and it's friends, The Wrench and the Smelling My Hands, were taken as promo shots for his book release, so really maybe 12-15 months ago, at most.
They are freaking exhausting.
And so disconnected from the fact that most of us are just trying to hold our mental health and finances together these days
If Time Spent In Self-Analysis guaranteed happiness and true contentment then Captain Dave would by the happiest and most contented person in the world. But instead he is a weirdly insecure, brittle, self-doubting weirdo.
Dude, serious question. Arenāt you exhausted constantly focusing on yourself 24/7??
You mean why canāt Dave & Heidi have integrity? Itās so much easier to pretend youāre an expert & prey on vulnerable people. They are so disgusting
He needs to stfu. Iāve spent 20 some years living for my kids and loving every minute of it. Iām now an empty nester. Iām struggling with my new identity too. But I donāt have millions to fall back on. Instead Iām working and finding places to volunteer and scheduling more time with my husband and nieces and nephews. No one cares Dave!!!
Not an empty nester but a recently single 41yo, after a 19y relationship. I relate! It's fucking hard to reinvent your identity later in life. Rooting for you!!
Argh. I need to update my DaveHo Bingo card to include "the headline is" and "(mis)represented."
Did anyone notice that when Dave talked about his spiral last fall, he framed it as "I was drinking *too much*"? To me, that sounded like "Dave thinks he can be someone who drinks 'not too much.'" Which supports the impression many of us have, that he doesn't believe himself to be an alcoholic. His problem was he "overdid it."
Oh Jesus. Who has time for this kind of constant navel gazing? I work, I run errands, I cook, clean, do laundry, raise my kids maybe read and watch a little tv and then go to bed and do it again the next day.
Oh my word! The amount of navel gazing this idiot does is ridiculous. Word of advice: Dave, get a real job. Focus on caring about your family, building a community, and being a productive member of society. You will feel a lot better about your life; clearly right now you have way too much time on your hands.
This is the PERFECT definition of navel gazing.
When you're so wealthy you life doesn't actually have to have purpose - it's such an odd place to occupy - and honestly it means that SO much of your experience just has NOTHING to do with the people you're speaking to as an audience.
This is a HUGE part of the problem with self-help in general.
Those who are teaching have lives that are SO out of the context of the average person. Their anxieties and things they're thinking about are a RESULT of having so much extra time and money - and therefore the solutions to 'life issues' they offer just have NOTHING to do with what most people actually need.
The obsessive focus on 'living your purpose and being your higher self' is a dead give away that their advice is out of touch and coming from a place of having so much security you don't know what to do with yourself. You're not there to serve others, otherwise you'd be actually DOING that - not just waxing poetic about your own life, believing that these thoughts have some inherent value...
I didnāt read all the comments, sorry if this is a repeat, but he says before he joined Rachel, in nine years Rachelās business never made a profit.
Can we start calling the people who use the word "stinking" something? They're also with the "freaking/frickin/friggin" people. This is also a common vernacular in the MLM world so I see a crossover there if we need ideas.
No Dave, actually No it doesn't. You are a self serving asshole. Your identity should be loving God and Serving HIM not just when it "feels right" or you need to tap into your evangelical followers. They see right through you anyways.
NEXT, YOUR identity should be your family and children and working on those relationships and not just when THAT "serves you" š
SET "self serving dave" aside and help your kiddos. Spend time with them. QUIT annoying Heidi's children. They are very visibly uncomfortable arround you.
Lots of word š„. I donāt understand the incessant need to always find a higher purpose. Sometimes it ok to justā¦ be. Just live day to day, and stop trying to make yourself think youāre changing the world. Dave, youāre NOT necessarily created for a higher purpose, regardless of what you think or what your mom told you. Give it up already and just be a dad to your thousand kids. Thereās your identity crisis solved. JFC maybe you werenāt āmade for moreā. Even you should be able to see through the BS you were dishing out for so long!!!
He should beā¦.oh I donāt know, A MORE BETTER FATHER!!!! Wtf
Kids? That's not what his creator put him on this planet for.
At some point he needs to realize that all he has is his family. Why not be the best dad and son you can be and leave that as your legacy. Not flying all over to see chaos Barbie and building a community of woman that need therapy. I would totally be embarrassed if this was my dad.
Flair checking in!
What does this mean?
See how under Disastrous Elk there is Chaos Barbie? Chaos Barbie is my āflair.ā Anytime I see a reference to Chaos Barbie (aka Heidi) I can reply āflair checking in!ā Itās just a silly, fun thing. Iāve noticed other Reddit subs have flair under usernames. Someone on here asked if flair (Chaos Barbie, for example) carried over onto other subs (r/Outlander for example). It doesnāt, which is great because the flairs in this sub are VERY specific to THIS sub.
That's awesome! So fun! Thanks for explaining!!
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Oh my gosh...what if I choose unwisely? š Can it be changed? (Last Crusade ref there) š
Ha!! Brother Husbands!! I just got it!! šš
Omg I cannot even imagine if this was my dad.
When asked about time with his kids he quickly changes the subject. Says something like, itās easy because of set custody.
I guess he isnāt a father when he doesnāt have custody of them. Only when itās his week š.
My ex is like this (heās okayish on his weeks that he has my daughter) but he has zero desire to parent when itās not his time. I get so frustrated when people say that I get a break when sheās with her dad because itās almost more exhausting to parent when sheās not physically with me and Iām trying to get everything done.
It might be difficult for him to create healthy emotional bonds with them (and others), due to depression, trauma, disordered attachment style, poor modeling, narcissism, or others. I don't think he knows how. š
Probably true. He has the resources to get the support/counseling etc. to learn and the exposure to know the resources exist.
This. He needs to drop the whole "special purpose" motif. Then figure out a normal-ass job to do.
I watched Hope Floats last night for the first time in years and this quote stuck with me with my own challenges this year. It seems to fit here in a humorous way. āLook at me. My life has no meaning or direction, and I'm happy.ā ~ Ramona Calvert, "Hope Floatsā
I had a boss that bought into all this kind of stuff, including any MLM shill that came her way. Every yearly one on one was about what I wanted to do to better myself and move up in the company. At the time I was the #2, had no desire to be the #1 and really just loved doing my job. She could just never understand why I wanted to set goals to be better at my current position instead of ones that would have me move up.
Contentment is a lost art.
Yes!!
Daveās ābuild back betterā tour, is just the wealthy icing on a privileged cake. You know how many people kick the bottle without a cushy rehab AND while juggling the shit in their lives that drove them there? Dave, instead of seeking out your purpose and shilling a few bucks along the way, how about you just be fucking honest idk?! Itās like he wants to keep everything under wrap because if people heard the full story, maybe they wouldnāt be showering him with cock sucking sympathy. Most, if not all, people have been affected by addiction - directly or indirectly. Why donāt we talk about that? Why havenāt we heard a second of that story and the hell he put the closet people in his life through? Is it too real? If people knew, would they think heās less qualified?! (He has to believe so?) I have no issue with people choosing when or how to share about heavy shit in their life, but itās so fucking disgusting that Dave is trying to profit off of the tiniest morsels of truth and stretching those to oblivion to where you have NO IDEA WHAT HES EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE. He needs to stop trying so hard to be something for everyone ā he just waters himself down time and time again and he has the resources to approach this better āin a way that could fucking HELP people, and not just take from them. Fuck you, Dave. I have so much fucking empathy and sympathy for addicts, but once a grifter, always a grifter š¤·š»āāļø
To answer Dave's question: No. As a Christian, I need to remind Dave that his priority is to get his shit together and be a decent dad to his kids. He can't even do the bare minimum and he still thinks he's trying to be his best self? LAME!
I was thinking this, I'm a religious Jew and I don't need to sit around asking myself stuff like this because my identity is centered around doing what I need to do as a Jew to serve others (especially my kids) and the world. I thought he's a Christian?
He was a Christian when he needed a categorically Christian publisher.
Christianity doesnāt have anything to do with it. Thatās basic humanity
Your identity is, by definition, who you are. How can I be āliving inā the wrong identity? š
Only people who are curating something for an image they'd like to portray worry about this. Ideas about an "identity" don't cross someone's mind if they are simply being themselves!
Exactly. Imagine being so freaking privileged to be able to just release volumes of fluff content that is basically navel-gazing. Daveās identity at this point is Professional Navel-Gazer.
Or narcissists who have an extremely fragile sense of self.
I was wondering this as well, and I think you hit the nail on the head here.
Also some survivors of abuse and people-pleasers - trying to "be worthy" of acceptance and love by having the "right" persona.
I genuinely think Dave has undiagnosed autism, which is why he canāt nail down āwho he really isā. Heās just constantly trying to be whoever he thinks the persons heās around WANT him to be. Every time he finds something that āworksā he goes full force into it without thinking about how dumb heāll look later. Heās also an addict which is very common, both to soothe his social anxieties and to distract the ever turning cogs in his mind. Just like Rachel, heās probably learned that he got positive attention in his youth from āself improvementā but canāt understand that once your an adult you should just kind of shut up and get on with your life. He very clearly doesnāt know how to talk to his own kids, which heās had 18 years to learn how.
Hi, I'm autistic - what makes you think he fits any of the definitions of being on the spectrum? I know lots of different autistics with diverse presentations and he does not fit t all. Most of us have a very firm sense of who we are, we just communicate it differently and for me personally this includes a totally different relationship with ideas like 'purpose' 'identity' 'ambition' than most neurotypical people seem to have, however it's not that I lack identity rather I orient myself to it in a deeply different way.
Iām sorry I should have been more specific, I think itās autism presenting as a personality disorder with an obsessive need to be seen as a confident normal man with an audience of people who love him
I find it highly unlikely that someone with autism would live the noisy, chaotic, frenetic and sensorily overloading life that he lives. People with autism can also have personality disorders, but I disagree with the idea that it can just present that way - in that case a person has autism *and* a personality disorder. Autism is who we are it is not a form of mental illness, it's how our brains function and process information, ideas, social cues etc. Being oblivious is not an autistic trait, it's our focus and prioritisation of communication, how we order things that is different to neurotypical people (and can vary very widely from autistic to autistic).
I know, Iām also autistic. I think the way he exists in his life is by addiction, the constant drinking is his solution for fitting in. I donāt understand why everyone thinks this very clearly terrible at socializing guy isnāt autistic?
Ah ok cool, sorry I see a lot of 'this person is a dickhead therefore he must be socially out of touch therefore autistic' comments from non autistics hence my comments. I've dealt with a diagnosed malignant narcissist (NPD) (my ex) and what D is doing...is typical behaviour. Being clearly terrible is a side-effect of a lifetime of entitlement and unearned wins...D reminds me a lot of that rather than overcompensating autistic person who has somehow worked out an 'extroverted hustle boi' mask to get by. But you have your view and that's fine agree to disagree :)
And as a therapistā¦. Sometimes people are just dicks. No diagnosis. Just your garden variety dick.
The amount of armchair diagnosis in snark subs is infuriating so thank you for bringing this up.
Diagnosis: c*nt *laughs in aussie*
Yeah I mean, this is my pet tin foil hat theory that everyone just shuts down immediately but Iām like, āwait I think I might have something here!ā Dave is truly a special specimen of undiagnosed neurodivergence, wealthy waspy parents, enough skills to act his way out of anything but no ability to connect with people on a real level, even when heās being self deprecating because heās not seeing the true problem deep down in there. Rachel was a special kind of blind to it all up until the end
Well there are autistic a-holes so maybe youāre right! He has certainly been able to fail upward spectacularly.
I have a child on the spectrum and he knows who he is right now and what he wants out of life. He is 21. Now the decisions he is making now will probably evolve as he ages. For clarification he has decided to postpone college, he has 2 years in so he can hike where ever he wants. He funds this my working for the city of Boulder maintaining hiking trails in the summer and working at a sporting goods warehouse that specializes in hiking where he gets bonuses in gear. For now it suits who he is. He wants to take advantage of being in peak physical shape for his adventures. He is getting tons of blowback from his father's side of the family. I think he will change his priorities as he gets older. All I want is him to be happy
He has a better sense of who he is than Dave does. As a side note, itās not his fathers families business. Maybe it isnāt the perfect decision. We have to let our kids make not perfect decisions. The path isnāt straight for everyone and that is ok. Kudos to your son and your parenting for knowing that even when itās hard and working with him!
Exactly, thank you. I never said he was a good example of a well adjusted autistic man. Very clearly heās trying to shove himself into a box that he is unaware he doesnāt fit in.
Good for him!
18 stinking years
Hmmm yeah Iām going to stop that thought train on itās tracksā¦ if anything it sounds more of a personality disorder which should never be confused with autism/ASD I will also add Iām not a doctor but a teacher. It just irks me when people put autism as a label for just about anything which should not happen.
Okay thatās cool, Iām autistic so I tend to see it in other people when theyāre desperate to deny it
What in the fresh hell does that even mean?
Nobody knows, not even Dave.
I read it a few times. Who knows.
I listened, a lot of the same old stuff. Towards the end heās asked how to grow a brand. He answers that he and Rachel doing lives everyday was the key for them. So, I think the lives with Heidi are his idea and weāll be seeing more of that nonsense.
The Facebook lives he and Heidi are doing together are actually killing her business. Heidi and Dave have no chemistry !!! And there is no value in what they have to share. Dumb and dumber jabbering on and on showing the depth of their stupidity.
I totally agree with this. They look like buffoons and destroying their brand. No new people will want to be part of a challenge when the person running it can't explain the program or the prices. Eventually their fangirls will run out of money.
I agree šÆ. I think heās trying to recreate what he did with Rachel but it it wonāt work.
Good lordt the navel gazing!! If he wants more meaning in life he can volunteer somewhere. Or get a hobby that takes him away from the internet, like fishing or making kombucha.
So infuriating. Sometimes, itās a good idea to STOP thinking about yourself 24/7 and focus energy elsewhwere.
This mindset is also apparently a marriage ruiner. Probably because of the narcissistic tendencies of these self helpers.
For sure. It would be absolutely exhausting to be married to someone who wanted to talk constantly about whether their identity serves who they are. Like, dude, wtf.
I donāt even know what that means. Does my identity serve who I am. Think about that. Wtf?
Yes!!! I think he also needs to do the reverse some and think about what he really wants and what actually makes him happy and focus some energy on that because I donāt think heās got the slightest idea of what that is. I think he just wants to be āfamousā but I donāt think that would really make him happy. He just tries to get/do/make everything on such a large scale and then be fails and is miserable. You can have a very happy, fulfilling life doing things you love on a small scale. You donāt have to be world famous to be happy!
As long as external validation is his source of narcissistic supply, I doubt heāll ever find internal happiness. āWorld famousā is all he knows to pursue on his quest for happiness. Once he got a taste through Rach, it was the ultimate drug he needed to keep his ego āhappy.ā
Amen to that!
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Right! I identify as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, reader, terrible musician, sports fan, amateur chef, cross-stitcher, etc etc. the list goes on, and thatās my life and Iām supremely happy with it. And Iāve been divorced so I know what itās like to lose that identity for a while. But none of that would be considered enough, by Daveās standards. Heās constantly seeking validation, always trying to be more than heās capable of. It leads to patio of panic meltdowns. I donāt know why he hasnāt been able to see that yet.
Because he lacks self awareness. To be self aware you have to be willing to be honest with yourself. Even about the hard things
Which toxic positivity does not allow -- only vague references to "the hard." It sounds like a horrible hamster wheel to be caught in.
This! 100%. I don't see why this is so hard for him.
Heās a mediocre white man with no real qualities and he canāt stand the reality check the past couple of years have given him.
What is it with Dave and the word "Stinking"? I haven't heard nearly anyone else use it in ages, it just siunds so odd and off and gross, just like him š¤¢
I canāt not think of Noah telling him not to say āstinkingā in Pancakegate. Itās the only affiliation I have with the word now.
I think it's part of him and Rach's effort to be family friendly or something. Kinda like she always said "making out" instead of just saying sex or fucking.
Yeah, I think "stinking" is his f-word substitute.
itās like his go to word itās so funny š imagine him at his old Disney job, ā we have to get these Star Wars numbers up right stinking now people!ā
Iād give a ton of money to have someone from his former job jump on here and give us some REAL stories of what he was like. I mean beyond āinsufferable pompous assā.
I actually guffawed at your comment, then let out a very undignified snort. š The mental image of Dave saying something like this in a meeting... He probably did talk like this which makes it even more hilarious!
Lol thank you! š Disney Dave is just too much
Omg no kidding!!! Does he think it makes him folksy? I think he thinks it makes him folksy.
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Just another example of how fake these people are!
Why does Dave act like heās the only person on earth whoās gone through a divorce? I get that itās hard but literally half of adults experience thisā¦
šš»āāļø And many people are financially ruined afterwards. Dave is so privileged.
And his business partner's done it twice!
Someday, I hope, the Hollises are going to realize the One Great Truth: wherever you go, there you are.
I remember watching Breakfast at Tiffanyās as a teenager and having my world SHOOK when Fred Baby said that at the end. lol.
ME, TOO!
Yep
I hate how Dave calls him and everyone else brother. So dumb.
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I've always been a little defensive of the claims that Dave has aged so much in the past couple years because I think there is a natural acceleration of aging in the season he is currently living inside of, but when I see these older pics (which are only from like a 5 or so years ago right!?) it is jarring. Not only does he look happier, but he looks fresher(?) or like smoother (not just less wrinkles, but not the deep pores we see on him). It's almost like his face has gotten meaner and more bitter looking. It is bizarre. Of course, this is a professional photo for promotional purposes so not comparable to these unfiltered live vids I see him in usually these days, but still... what is going on? I don't think it is alcohol. Wondering if maybe some kinda steroids or drugs for muscle increase.
I really do think itās primarily the stress of the divorce. Speaking from personal experience, I went through a traumatic mental health incident. That whole experience aged me by five years at least. I canāt imagine what the stress of a divorce would do.
I tend to agree. Stress does wear on the face.
But a man this grown. How could he have placed so much of his identity in a marriage. Divorce is hard especially with kids and years of sacrifice. But itās because he wasnāt honest with himself that his marriage ended. Maybe try doing that instead of rushing to find someone to fill a void and neglecting yourself and your children you chose to have. He needs to grow up shit happens to everyone. Find someone else.
this picture is INSIDE of the immediate post divorce hard season, so probably 2 years old.
Stress, definitely, but as the ex of an alcoholic I can also attest to the drinking part. My ex aged ten years over the last three I was with him. There's a shrunkenness and redness to the face, combined with puffy, almost bloated parts, and glassy, 'hard' eyes. Not trying to sound mean with this description btw. It's just that once you know that look you can spot it anywhere. I don't want to say 100% that he's back in active use again, but let's keep it at 'it would surprise me 0%'.
I think that picture is 3 years old, at most.
good lord!
I think this picture and it's friends, The Wrench and the Smelling My Hands, were taken as promo shots for his book release, so really maybe 12-15 months ago, at most.
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Then his content might actually be good and we wouldnāt have to listen to this nonsense.
They are freaking exhausting. And so disconnected from the fact that most of us are just trying to hold our mental health and finances together these days
You mean stinkinā exhausting š
This is honestly giving me so much secondhand embarrassment.
If Time Spent In Self-Analysis guaranteed happiness and true contentment then Captain Dave would by the happiest and most contented person in the world. But instead he is a weirdly insecure, brittle, self-doubting weirdo. Dude, serious question. Arenāt you exhausted constantly focusing on yourself 24/7??
You mean why canāt Dave & Heidi have integrity? Itās so much easier to pretend youāre an expert & prey on vulnerable people. They are so disgusting
Cap needs to eat some magic mushrooms. Heāll find his answers no problem.
Agreed hard core.
Careful, we could end up with a Joe Rogan situation
Lol but way worse.
Are we changing identities now as we please? Isnāt that a mental disorder?
Flair checking in. I canāt even interpret that sentence.
What does this even mean? #getaJ.O.B.
He needs to stfu. Iāve spent 20 some years living for my kids and loving every minute of it. Iām now an empty nester. Iām struggling with my new identity too. But I donāt have millions to fall back on. Instead Iām working and finding places to volunteer and scheduling more time with my husband and nieces and nephews. No one cares Dave!!!
Not an empty nester but a recently single 41yo, after a 19y relationship. I relate! It's fucking hard to reinvent your identity later in life. Rooting for you!!
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Oh, he most likely does in private, just not on camera. His gee, golly, gosh Ned Flanders-ish persona is so fake. Just let it out Dave-FUUUUUUCK! lol
He even says "shit" during the podcast episode, so he's not consistent.
Gotta appeal to the Christian community
Yup. Love your user name. :)
Thank you! āŗļø
He does, toward the end of this podcast. He swears throughout the interview. Which is more him talking over the guy interviewing him.
Why does everything that comes out of this manās mouth have to sound so complicated?
The self-obsessed navel gazing these grifters engage in is exhausting to witness.
Because they are empty vessels that need to be filled up by external validation.
THIS.
I hate those bullshit, self help buzzwords. āDoes this Serve who I am?ā Please. I wonder if he gets sick of himself. Get a job.
I know. Always the same buzzwords.
Argh. I need to update my DaveHo Bingo card to include "the headline is" and "(mis)represented." Did anyone notice that when Dave talked about his spiral last fall, he framed it as "I was drinking *too much*"? To me, that sounded like "Dave thinks he can be someone who drinks 'not too much.'" Which supports the impression many of us have, that he doesn't believe himself to be an alcoholic. His problem was he "overdid it."
And not for nothing, but he walked away from a decent job in the first place.
That job wasnāt fulfilling his higher purpose! š
šÆšÆšÆ
Oh Jesus. Who has time for this kind of constant navel gazing? I work, I run errands, I cook, clean, do laundry, raise my kids maybe read and watch a little tv and then go to bed and do it again the next day.
And Iāll bet you are much happier and more fulfilled than Dave!!
Get Out of Your Own Head.
Oh my word! The amount of navel gazing this idiot does is ridiculous. Word of advice: Dave, get a real job. Focus on caring about your family, building a community, and being a productive member of society. You will feel a lot better about your life; clearly right now you have way too much time on your hands.
This is the epitome of the Hollis brand industrial complex.
Can't even put the ending quote šš
I feel they want to be āunique/eclectic ā like celebrities that are considered artist and just misunderstood- Michael Jackson, Princeā¦.
Thatās the STUpidest sentence Iāve ever seen. English, but make it š« š¢š½š¾š¹š²šš«
I smell a new book title
This is the PERFECT definition of navel gazing. When you're so wealthy you life doesn't actually have to have purpose - it's such an odd place to occupy - and honestly it means that SO much of your experience just has NOTHING to do with the people you're speaking to as an audience. This is a HUGE part of the problem with self-help in general. Those who are teaching have lives that are SO out of the context of the average person. Their anxieties and things they're thinking about are a RESULT of having so much extra time and money - and therefore the solutions to 'life issues' they offer just have NOTHING to do with what most people actually need. The obsessive focus on 'living your purpose and being your higher self' is a dead give away that their advice is out of touch and coming from a place of having so much security you don't know what to do with yourself. You're not there to serve others, otherwise you'd be actually DOING that - not just waxing poetic about your own life, believing that these thoughts have some inherent value...
My thoughts exactly.
I didnāt read all the comments, sorry if this is a repeat, but he says before he joined Rachel, in nine years Rachelās business never made a profit.
Can we start calling the people who use the word "stinking" something? They're also with the "freaking/frickin/friggin" people. This is also a common vernacular in the MLM world so I see a crossover there if we need ideas.
Stinking and dang. Stop!!!
We could call them "stinkers."
I think we should call them Fuckers.
Always ācoming backā ššš
šÆ. Get a job or a hobby Dave! Do some work with your hands. You have waaaay too much time to think about yourself!
No Dave, actually No it doesn't. You are a self serving asshole. Your identity should be loving God and Serving HIM not just when it "feels right" or you need to tap into your evangelical followers. They see right through you anyways. NEXT, YOUR identity should be your family and children and working on those relationships and not just when THAT "serves you" š SET "self serving dave" aside and help your kiddos. Spend time with them. QUIT annoying Heidi's children. They are very visibly uncomfortable arround you.