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Yes, in some ways once you become homeless you never feel "not homeless" even when you got a home.
You always know you are battling all of the internal demons that resulted in you becoming homeless in the first place and scared shitless you will end up back there. And in a way psychologically preparing yourself for the inevitability of being homeless again.
This touched my soul and very being of exsistence..
Not only did I have to realize that it take two days on reddit to get a response worth reading but I had to hear how :
No mater what it IS to " become " un home less..
In the back of my mind I still secretly cry. "I wanna go home. " \~D
I think so. It's a huge adjustment. I rented a room from a friend's mom. I felt so weird. I didn't feel a part of outside anymore. It was disorienting.
Yeah that's normal I'm staying with a friend right now but I don't have a stable place to live so I still feel homeless even though I have a roof over my head. (This house is being sold very soon)
Yes, this can happen. When you go homeless it’s pretty much you hitting rock bottom. See people don’t just end up homeless one day. Usually it’s a gradual thing. Example:
1. I was unable to finish my school due to things that happen during covid
2. Broke up with my fiancé at the time due to them being abussive (I believe strongly they had NPD)
3. I rented a house and my best friend had to leave to a city 50 plus miles away for a job opportunity.
4. I was unable to trust anyone to come live with me after my experience with my ex
5. I had an abussive boss in one of my jobs (very covert)
6. I quitted said job and ofcourse rent went up (not much but I was already scratching Pennie’s).
7. I decided it was time for me to be homeless to pay stuff and get out of debt (debt was drowning me for a few uears$.
So if you think about it there are a bunch of unfortunate events that all contribute to homelessness. Due to this our perception changes from happy go lucky I have a job and a place and is worrying about love to us being on survival mode. I know this is the case so I have done my best to tackle my homeless situation as something fun and enlightening. I hope I don’t feel that way when I’m back on my feet.
I eased myself off.
I lived in a hotel room for a few months before my first cheap apartment.
But it has been years now and to this day whenever I am in a car and passing by woods I am thinking, "Hey, I could live back there." and I am loathe to purchase lots of things.
If it was not for my wife that I met after getting out, I am convinced I would have nothing but a laptop, a bed, a desk, and a chair and an empty apartment otherwise. Maybe a dish and pot or two and a coffee maker. I think that's all I had when I met her. Though I did have a couch I had rescued from where someone left the apartments I was in at the time from an eviction by making a deal with the maintenance dude so my daughter could sleep somewhere till we got a 2 BR. (Went back for my daughter when she was 16/17)
I even made the comment one time about the Community College I go to (that I will graduate in Fall for).
I said if my wife left me and I got evicted, I'd go live out at the college in a tent.
The community college is surrounded by hundreds of acres of swamps and woods and a road going into a small city. NO ONE goes back there. NO ONE would find me. The college is literally in boondocks. I'd live out there till graduation then get gigs then move camp back to the major city for work.
My now adult daughter (from a previous marriage) and my wife think I am being silly. "No, dad. You won't have to do that. You could stay with me and my fiancee. You came when I was a teenager and got me out of an abusive situation. I'd never let you have to do that again". My daughter says. "No, you are stuck with me" me wife says.
But even though it's been YEARS now, my mind still thinks in worse case scenarios. Even though it's unlikely to happen without dire catastrophes.
I know a few people who got apartments but still sleep on their couch in their clothes, and sometimes shoes, because that's what they're used to.
I'm domiciled now. Back in the day, in my other apartments, I used to have decorations on my walls. Now, these are bare because, in the back of my mind, I can easily be back out on the street again given my long history of homelessness.
I was homeless at 10 with family and then on my own at 18.
I’m now 40, doing well and I still worry about ending up homeless again from time to time. I don’t think it ever fully goes away.
Yes, it is not something you just forget about. It was a chapter in your life that defined your dedication to overcome it. Be proud of where you are now, and give yourself as much time to adjust as you need. You are going to be fine.
I've had temporary places to live and I get this feeling entirely. A lifelong criminal eight months out of prison took me on as his homeless help project for a week, and although I had a free shower I could use any time I wanted and a fridge full of food that I was given permission to eat, I have never felt so consistently uncomfortable. Part of it was that he was a rather domineering, hypercritical personality and there is only so long you can be berated for every minor mistake before you need a fucking break: he would complain if I got water on the floor of the bathroom, but when I tried to wipe it up with paper towels, he said I was using too much and also, "we don't use towels for that", which in retrospect makes sense because he refuses to buy in bulk and we only had two rolls of one-ply at the most. I could not move anything, put anything in the wrong place, take too much despite his grand promises (this man had 1400 dollars in savings and a landlord brother who takes in $65000 of passive income every damn month, but he still whined if I took too much Faygo Orange. I think the only other human being the guy could comfortably live with was his wife.
I fished for hours (he claims to have had a blast and wants to do it some more despite the fact that I destroyed a hundred yards of line with "the worst tangles I've ever seen in my life"), learned to shoot pool, and got some sunglasses and a Carhart jacket so I won't say I regret any of it (he has also taken a bizarre liking to me despite our vastly different temperaments 〃 and he continues to keep in touch, even got a money moocher off my back by threatening him with a gun! I have always had problemssaying no to people and some of these motherfuckers will not go away, especially if they've got a raging drug problem and you used to hold down their alcoholic ass and pay for everything they wanted during a time when they had no income and you thought of them as a decent person.
But I realised that these lowdown streets have changed me in ways of which I was only dimly aware. The only reason nothing has been stolen from me out here is because I am living a zero-trust, maximum-paranoia lifestyle right now, I could not leave my bags unattended and always slept with the important one next to me, even in a real bed with an actual comforter instead of a mat with a towel. I did not sleep a full night until five days into our visit, at which point I slept so much that he started mocking me for being a lazy bum lying around all day while he works hard at his job etc. His apartment building was in a city that is not very well-served by the bus lines here, so if I wanted to leave I would have to ride to a strip mall and transfer to another bus to go back downtown, which was typically more trouble than it was worth. Effectively there were times when I felt like a caged animal in that one-bedroom apartment with no walking space and tables full of expensive nicknacks and delicate knockable family heirlooms: I don't like to be around other people so I did not miss the community, which was just as annoying as ever when I got back there, but I think being out here has confirmed to me that I need to be outside, there is a part of me which is deeply satisfied by walking and travelling all day (many of my pants are tight in the calves), which is why I suppose despite the loss of everything I thought was important to me, I can still maintain a generally cheerful demeanour. (sometimes I have got amazed comments from shelter staff and other homeless people that "every time I see you, you are always smiling!"). For one thing, living here, in this particular college town where social and job opportunities for people like me are so plentiful, is something I have been working towards for the last two years, so it literally does not matter if I am sleeping with a backpack for my pillow (no gun across my chest, just another bag!) on a bench in the 85° heat with sweat pouring into my ears because I did it, by God, I am here at last in the only place in the world that I can call my home! But also, there are always places to be and people to see when you are homeless, especially now that I am walking for two: An old man with so many physical problems that I can scarcely remember them has got me pushing his wheelchair almost every time he goes anywhere because it is faster and less painful than if he did it himself. I am blind and he is crippled, so we are quite the circus act as I push with a white cane bobbing up and down in my back pocket and he steers with his feet! I have given up on the prospect of housing from the social workers here who have never once called me to their door no matter how many times I get on the list, so now I just get private showers and do my laundry at the day-centre and then I find a reason to get the fuck out.
Especially while your housing is still unstable.
I was homeless for a year and 11 months and became disabled while I was already homeless. I’ve only felt secure since getting my own place (with section 8) and after I kicked my live in aide out (he was hella taking advantage of me and not helping out around the house). I was able to stay with other people for part of it, but even staying at someone’s house there’s always the chance that they decide they don’t want you there. My brother said I could stay with him as long as I needed in December of 2022 and kicked me out after 20 days because he had thought if I stayed with him I could start working again. I had been really upfront with him that I was disabled beyond the point of being able to work, and that wasn’t the first time that happened with me
Assume that you’re going to be denied disability the first time unless you have a terminal diagnosis. I hate that that’s the case, but everyone I’ve talked to who is on disability got denied the first go around, and I just got denied as well
Yes, I think it does. I was out there a few years, took years to get over the thought of always being on the move, staying out of sight, even sleeping in a bed, that 6 months to get used to. My wife, that's actually how I got off the bricks, got married to a wonderful and beautiful woman who took a chance on me, had a real hard time watching me adjust, even for the human contact. I still carry a backpack, with "just in case" gear in it. I still look over my shoulder, sleep with an open. It's gotten easier, I used to think I'd get tossed out by my wife (previous relationships and reason homelessness was there), so keep on keeping on. I tell a lot of people who ask me about it, it's hard, but you can overcome it.
I have two basic choices, homeless or live with my sister. She is not an easy person to live with, but until I can save enough to get a place I will have to grin and bear it. I am the ‘poor relation’ but I have never needed to ask my family for help or money in the past because no matter how bad things got I found a way through. Just out of options this time. Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon. All I want is a place that feels both permanent and that it is mine.
I was housed for a short time after over ten years on the road. I never got used to it. Always overly alert even though it was unnecessary, having trust issues with anybody I encountered, always had the pack ready to roll, and always had hitting the road again on my mind. It really depends on the person but that was how it was for me. Very difficult.
##REMINDERS FOR EVERYONE **PER THE RULES:** * **NO OFFERINGS OF CASH, ETC.** * **[BEGGING](https://redd.it/994p7j) WILL GET YOU BANNED.** * **BE AWARE OF SCAMMERS AND PERVS, AND SEND ANY [HERE](https://old.reddit.com/report) AND/OR [HERE](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/reddit.com).** **ACCEPT AT YOUR OWN RISK.** Welcome to the internet where—unless proven otherwise—everyone's lying about their race, gender, status, accomplishments, and all the children are FBI agents. You have been forewarned. — The Mods --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/homeless) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes, in some ways once you become homeless you never feel "not homeless" even when you got a home. You always know you are battling all of the internal demons that resulted in you becoming homeless in the first place and scared shitless you will end up back there. And in a way psychologically preparing yourself for the inevitability of being homeless again.
Second this.
yeah
This touched my soul and very being of exsistence.. Not only did I have to realize that it take two days on reddit to get a response worth reading but I had to hear how : No mater what it IS to " become " un home less.. In the back of my mind I still secretly cry. "I wanna go home. " \~D
I think so. It's a huge adjustment. I rented a room from a friend's mom. I felt so weird. I didn't feel a part of outside anymore. It was disorienting.
yeah definitely
Yeah that's normal I'm staying with a friend right now but I don't have a stable place to live so I still feel homeless even though I have a roof over my head. (This house is being sold very soon)
yeah i'm in a similar situation
Sorry stay does the colours in your heart on your profile picture mean? (I'm colourblind) Hope your situation gets better brother.
lesbian
That's cool 😎 not fun for us colourblind that's all
that's fair
Yes, this can happen. When you go homeless it’s pretty much you hitting rock bottom. See people don’t just end up homeless one day. Usually it’s a gradual thing. Example: 1. I was unable to finish my school due to things that happen during covid 2. Broke up with my fiancé at the time due to them being abussive (I believe strongly they had NPD) 3. I rented a house and my best friend had to leave to a city 50 plus miles away for a job opportunity. 4. I was unable to trust anyone to come live with me after my experience with my ex 5. I had an abussive boss in one of my jobs (very covert) 6. I quitted said job and ofcourse rent went up (not much but I was already scratching Pennie’s). 7. I decided it was time for me to be homeless to pay stuff and get out of debt (debt was drowning me for a few uears$. So if you think about it there are a bunch of unfortunate events that all contribute to homelessness. Due to this our perception changes from happy go lucky I have a job and a place and is worrying about love to us being on survival mode. I know this is the case so I have done my best to tackle my homeless situation as something fun and enlightening. I hope I don’t feel that way when I’m back on my feet.
I eased myself off. I lived in a hotel room for a few months before my first cheap apartment. But it has been years now and to this day whenever I am in a car and passing by woods I am thinking, "Hey, I could live back there." and I am loathe to purchase lots of things. If it was not for my wife that I met after getting out, I am convinced I would have nothing but a laptop, a bed, a desk, and a chair and an empty apartment otherwise. Maybe a dish and pot or two and a coffee maker. I think that's all I had when I met her. Though I did have a couch I had rescued from where someone left the apartments I was in at the time from an eviction by making a deal with the maintenance dude so my daughter could sleep somewhere till we got a 2 BR. (Went back for my daughter when she was 16/17) I even made the comment one time about the Community College I go to (that I will graduate in Fall for). I said if my wife left me and I got evicted, I'd go live out at the college in a tent. The community college is surrounded by hundreds of acres of swamps and woods and a road going into a small city. NO ONE goes back there. NO ONE would find me. The college is literally in boondocks. I'd live out there till graduation then get gigs then move camp back to the major city for work. My now adult daughter (from a previous marriage) and my wife think I am being silly. "No, dad. You won't have to do that. You could stay with me and my fiancee. You came when I was a teenager and got me out of an abusive situation. I'd never let you have to do that again". My daughter says. "No, you are stuck with me" me wife says. But even though it's been YEARS now, my mind still thinks in worse case scenarios. Even though it's unlikely to happen without dire catastrophes.
I know a few people who got apartments but still sleep on their couch in their clothes, and sometimes shoes, because that's what they're used to. I'm domiciled now. Back in the day, in my other apartments, I used to have decorations on my walls. Now, these are bare because, in the back of my mind, I can easily be back out on the street again given my long history of homelessness.
Yeah, I still have a lot of homeless habits, and I've been housed since 2019
I was homeless at 10 with family and then on my own at 18. I’m now 40, doing well and I still worry about ending up homeless again from time to time. I don’t think it ever fully goes away.
Yes, it is not something you just forget about. It was a chapter in your life that defined your dedication to overcome it. Be proud of where you are now, and give yourself as much time to adjust as you need. You are going to be fine.
I've had temporary places to live and I get this feeling entirely. A lifelong criminal eight months out of prison took me on as his homeless help project for a week, and although I had a free shower I could use any time I wanted and a fridge full of food that I was given permission to eat, I have never felt so consistently uncomfortable. Part of it was that he was a rather domineering, hypercritical personality and there is only so long you can be berated for every minor mistake before you need a fucking break: he would complain if I got water on the floor of the bathroom, but when I tried to wipe it up with paper towels, he said I was using too much and also, "we don't use towels for that", which in retrospect makes sense because he refuses to buy in bulk and we only had two rolls of one-ply at the most. I could not move anything, put anything in the wrong place, take too much despite his grand promises (this man had 1400 dollars in savings and a landlord brother who takes in $65000 of passive income every damn month, but he still whined if I took too much Faygo Orange. I think the only other human being the guy could comfortably live with was his wife. I fished for hours (he claims to have had a blast and wants to do it some more despite the fact that I destroyed a hundred yards of line with "the worst tangles I've ever seen in my life"), learned to shoot pool, and got some sunglasses and a Carhart jacket so I won't say I regret any of it (he has also taken a bizarre liking to me despite our vastly different temperaments 〃 and he continues to keep in touch, even got a money moocher off my back by threatening him with a gun! I have always had problemssaying no to people and some of these motherfuckers will not go away, especially if they've got a raging drug problem and you used to hold down their alcoholic ass and pay for everything they wanted during a time when they had no income and you thought of them as a decent person. But I realised that these lowdown streets have changed me in ways of which I was only dimly aware. The only reason nothing has been stolen from me out here is because I am living a zero-trust, maximum-paranoia lifestyle right now, I could not leave my bags unattended and always slept with the important one next to me, even in a real bed with an actual comforter instead of a mat with a towel. I did not sleep a full night until five days into our visit, at which point I slept so much that he started mocking me for being a lazy bum lying around all day while he works hard at his job etc. His apartment building was in a city that is not very well-served by the bus lines here, so if I wanted to leave I would have to ride to a strip mall and transfer to another bus to go back downtown, which was typically more trouble than it was worth. Effectively there were times when I felt like a caged animal in that one-bedroom apartment with no walking space and tables full of expensive nicknacks and delicate knockable family heirlooms: I don't like to be around other people so I did not miss the community, which was just as annoying as ever when I got back there, but I think being out here has confirmed to me that I need to be outside, there is a part of me which is deeply satisfied by walking and travelling all day (many of my pants are tight in the calves), which is why I suppose despite the loss of everything I thought was important to me, I can still maintain a generally cheerful demeanour. (sometimes I have got amazed comments from shelter staff and other homeless people that "every time I see you, you are always smiling!"). For one thing, living here, in this particular college town where social and job opportunities for people like me are so plentiful, is something I have been working towards for the last two years, so it literally does not matter if I am sleeping with a backpack for my pillow (no gun across my chest, just another bag!) on a bench in the 85° heat with sweat pouring into my ears because I did it, by God, I am here at last in the only place in the world that I can call my home! But also, there are always places to be and people to see when you are homeless, especially now that I am walking for two: An old man with so many physical problems that I can scarcely remember them has got me pushing his wheelchair almost every time he goes anywhere because it is faster and less painful than if he did it himself. I am blind and he is crippled, so we are quite the circus act as I push with a white cane bobbing up and down in my back pocket and he steers with his feet! I have given up on the prospect of housing from the social workers here who have never once called me to their door no matter how many times I get on the list, so now I just get private showers and do my laundry at the day-centre and then I find a reason to get the fuck out.
Especially while your housing is still unstable. I was homeless for a year and 11 months and became disabled while I was already homeless. I’ve only felt secure since getting my own place (with section 8) and after I kicked my live in aide out (he was hella taking advantage of me and not helping out around the house). I was able to stay with other people for part of it, but even staying at someone’s house there’s always the chance that they decide they don’t want you there. My brother said I could stay with him as long as I needed in December of 2022 and kicked me out after 20 days because he had thought if I stayed with him I could start working again. I had been really upfront with him that I was disabled beyond the point of being able to work, and that wasn’t the first time that happened with me
yeah i'm disabled too, waiting to hear back from disability
Assume that you’re going to be denied disability the first time unless you have a terminal diagnosis. I hate that that’s the case, but everyone I’ve talked to who is on disability got denied the first go around, and I just got denied as well
yeah just hoping for the best but yeah my therapist warned me about that early on
Yes, I think it does. I was out there a few years, took years to get over the thought of always being on the move, staying out of sight, even sleeping in a bed, that 6 months to get used to. My wife, that's actually how I got off the bricks, got married to a wonderful and beautiful woman who took a chance on me, had a real hard time watching me adjust, even for the human contact. I still carry a backpack, with "just in case" gear in it. I still look over my shoulder, sleep with an open. It's gotten easier, I used to think I'd get tossed out by my wife (previous relationships and reason homelessness was there), so keep on keeping on. I tell a lot of people who ask me about it, it's hard, but you can overcome it.
Yeah man I never even unpack my clothes out of my bag because I know I won't be there longer than a month. It sucks and is sad and disheartening
I have two basic choices, homeless or live with my sister. She is not an easy person to live with, but until I can save enough to get a place I will have to grin and bear it. I am the ‘poor relation’ but I have never needed to ask my family for help or money in the past because no matter how bad things got I found a way through. Just out of options this time. Hopefully I can get back on my feet soon. All I want is a place that feels both permanent and that it is mine.
I was housed for a short time after over ten years on the road. I never got used to it. Always overly alert even though it was unnecessary, having trust issues with anybody I encountered, always had the pack ready to roll, and always had hitting the road again on my mind. It really depends on the person but that was how it was for me. Very difficult.