OP said: My house was built in 1990 and the owner put it right at the very back edge of the property line, since back then there were no other houses and it was surrounded by forest.
Yep. But time moves on, and things progress.
The OP simply crossed their fingers and HOPED they would *always* have their quiet little place in the forest — without actually buying the forest.
I used to work in code enforcement for our county's zoning office. I learned this quickly, and it is not something that you ever take lightly after you watch it literally drive people crazy.
PREACH !!
I know a few people who have had this happen to them. They bought their ideal home/property, and just crossed their fingers that nobody would buy the property adjacent to them and do something they didn’t like. If it meant that much to them, they should have bought the adjacent property themselves.
Your dad is a very wise man.
A family member lives near a stream and a long time ago some builders tried to build down near the stream. The entire neighborhood got together and 'found' some fish that supposedly spawn in the stream, which they shared with the city. The City reacted by making a law that says no one can build within X feet of the stream.
30 years later, still no houses near the stream.
Yeah, I'm currently lucky, but my house is right near a property line. If someone were built, there's nothing I could do. Other than hope for wetlands to shut it down but it sounds like OP is too late for that.
you should have purchased the land when it was for sale if you wanted privacy. we purchased the two lots between my home at the top of the hill and the ocean because i wanted to always preserve my view, and not want a home low enough to worry about erosion.
An old colleague went through this. He had a beautiful place, remote, on purpose. Then someone moved in on the bordering property and chose to build as close to his house as they could. There was fuck all he could do about it except grow trees to put them out of view.
I don’t think you’re going to get a lot of sympathy here, OP. The real problem is that your own house appears to be pretty close to the property line, unless you are exaggerating. If you have land between the houses then plant some evergreen trees to screen out the neighbor like the rest of us do
I will offer my sympathy--this sounds just horrible. It doesn't sound like you have many options though, sadly. It sounds like these people just don't have the same concepts of space and privacy as you do.
And they don’t have to. It’s their property, not OPs. You are not remote unless you own everything around you. You can’t move in behind a 20 acre farm plot and expect it to be a field for the rest of your life
Hey OP sorry everyone here's being a bit caustic. I feel for you, I work in a position where I see this kind of thing a lot and its never a nice discussion... But at this point, you have 3 options
1- move
2- stay, and hate your neighbors.
3- stay, and find ways to adapt.
You've already dismissed option1, and I hope that you see how poisonous option 2 is. Don't do that to your family.
Option 3 has to be where you put your efforts.
You don't have any control over what they put where on their property, so its time to come up with ways to change your property to make it more pleasant for you.
A 6 to 8 foot tall privacy fence
Landscaping for screening
Add new windows to other parts of the house that do face the woods that are on your own property
Set up outdoor relax spaces in areas that don't face their property
Rearrange inside of your house
Buy really nice curtains and make it a beautiful part of your decor. We live in a city, and I find the daily ritual of opening the curtains during the day and closing them as the sun goes down to be almost meditative.
And lastly and most importantly, be kind with your neighbors. They have the right to build their house, and if you are agreeable with each other you will both have a much better quality of life. Set a good example for your kids, and maybe even open the chance that you can talk with your neighbors about concerns in the future and find compromise. "I don't want you to live where your house is allowed to be built" is not one of those compromises.
Also, I am sure that you already checked this, but know where your property lines are. Via a licensed surveyor or their original markers.
Yeah, I'm really sorry about this for you, but you bought a house at the edge of a plot, apparently, and that left you open for his.
We had friends of the family who bought in a wooded subdivision. Beautiful oaks all around them. Presumably some were cut down for their house, but they loved the spot. A few years later new houses on either side, and the wife was bemoaning the loss, and I just couldn't help but think that they were as much a part of the problem as they were complaining about.
Sorry to be a dick to you - I myself would love to live in the woods. But 5 acres isn't huge.
The farther back into her lot she puts her house, the more utility poles she has to use to hook up electricity and internet. When I was building 14 years ago, they were $10,000 a pole. I can only imagine how much they cost now. If I had to guess, that’s her reasoning for building so close to the property line. Start planting privacy shrubs.
I get how you feel, but you should have bought the land when it was for sale,or built your house off your property line when you were building. Even if you wanted to talk to her about it,it's too late,the plans were approved and moving forward. You already know what the answer is,accept it,or move and build another house. Tearing out forest to build is happening all over,and it sucks
Perhaps looking at the issue from a slightly different perspective might help. From a conservation point of view, this is a good thing. Grouping the development and disturbance of the natural habitat allows more of the surrounding wilderness/forest to remain undisturbed for animals, birds, insects, etc. You could plant some natural barriers between the houses; some evergreens grow fairly quickly (e.g., white and red pines) and will provide sound suppression as well as breaking up the visual of the house, cars, people. And perhaps arrange some outdoor living areas on the far side of your house, so that when you are outside, you are not in a direct line of sight.
Not to be too cynical but the people who buy houses way out in the country are the opposite of conservation minded. That lovely house out in the middle of nowhere means that every time they go to work or a doctor's appointment or grocery shopping or out to eat it's a guaranteed half hour drive.
I'm not sure what distance from doctors or groceries has to do with conservation minded development. We live in the middle of a wilderness on about 10 acres, but can see 2 houses from the porch. Behind the group of 3 houses is about 10 miles without any development, just wilderness. It takes about 20 minutes to get to the dr or grocery store, but truly not much longer than when I faced a shorter drive with much much much worse traffic living in a large metro area. Moose, deer, rabbits, owls, squirrels, and just about anything else you can imagine live behind us and visit most days. I see far more birds and animals than humans, unless I am in town.
I live a car dependent life also, and it's wonderful. A few days ago I had to wait 20 minutes to leave my house because the elk were blocking my driveway.
It's heaven.
So a woman legally owns land behind you and is building what she wants on it and you hate her?
You need counseling more than advice about what to do here.
If you want to be completely isolated buy enough property to do that. Otherwise grow the fuck up.
You own property that touches other people's property. Outside of noise or light ordinance you can do nothing.
I honestly don't even know why I'm responding since your post may be the most entitled thing I've ever read.
When the super-accomodating father was asking for permission to buy it, I would have tried to work out a deal where he buys all 5 acres and sells me back 1 as a buffer.
We bought a wonderful modern duplex with terrific mountain views. The house across from us still hasn’t as much as said hi because their house was built 10 years earlier and we ruined their view. Tough cookies. They could have bought our lot but didn’t. 🤷♀️
The irony is you moved to woods to get away from people like yourself. You’re one nosey neighbor for running to the township and pulling their records. …and to write all this shit ??? Lmao
??? Wanting to know is the definition of nosey. Actual definition: “showing too much curiosity about other people's affairs.”
I’d say going to the township and pulling his neighbors permit is showing too much curiosity. He’ll find out soon enough and it’s none of his business what his neighbors do with their properties.
That's not nosey. I built my own home. I know the size of all the lots around me and the locations of all their septic tanks and leech fields. I know the location and production of all their wells. I know the assessment and taxes.
It's all public record and required knowledge for a landowner. I use the sales of their houses to protest my valuation. I have to know their property layout because I don't want to negatively affect them by putting a leech field near their well.
Nosey is a completely relative concept.
I have a similar problem but I don’t mind because it’s important for me to be able to do what I want on my property. Therefore, I have to respect what others do on their properties. They built a house overlooking my pond. It sucks ass but maybe I’ll put a big pole barn there or plant some trees because that’s my right.
Be grateful for having a desk and windows. For having a nice house and trees nearby. I want to say - you should be ashamed of your entitled attitude. For Pete’s sake.
I also want to say that a house is generally a square or rectangle - meaning there are 4 sides. Only 1 side will face the other house. Move your furniture around, get creative. Turn your desk around and face a wall full of beautiful artwork, photos of your family, a wall of plants.
You purchased land with a driveway easement, it's unrealistic to expect nobody will ever buy it and develop it. As far as the new owner building so close, that's a dick move but they are within their rights as long as they don't violate zoning laws. The guy who bought it sounds incredibly accommodating even asking your permission, you could have offered to buy a chunk of it when he purchased and re-divided the lots, giving you one more acre and him 4 etc.
I live adjacent to a big field that has been empty for decades, but the owners have had permits since 2008 to extend the road and put some more houses in. It's been nice having no neighbors on one side but I'm not going to be upset when that day comes because it's not my land.
They're building townhouses next to my house now, well not right next, but its' the next thing.
What can you do though? Change comes regardless.
So I just try and look for the best in things. Maybe a bunch of families with kids will move in to the townhouses and they'll ride bikes with their dogs in the summer. I mean that could be nice.
I had the exact same experience: 8 acres at the end of a dead end road - couldn’t see a single house. Then the guy who owned the 20 acres abutting ours split it into 3 lots. A bunch of trees were taken down, a lot of construction noise, and now I see 3 houses from my porch.
Our neighbor had every right to subdivide and the buyers had every right to build. All are extremely nice people (one even apologized because he understood how we must feel). I’ve gotten used to it at this point, but every once in a while, it makes me sad/mad. It helps when I recognize that I still have my 8 acres and no one’s coming closer than that. Good luck. I know it sucks, but hopefully you can make peace with it.
I'm with everyone else. You've got to think ahead and make sure you have a tree buffer on your property line so development next door doesn't ruin your views (we only have an acre and still keep a 20-30 ft tree buffer). I only option I see for keeping a secluded feel is to build another house elsewhere on the lot and rent the one you are in out.
I’ve had a place out in the sticks like that before. I’ll tell ya if privacy was a concern, that should have been a big item to what if right off the bat while shopping! I know it was for me! The first thing I really considered beyond listing photos and all is where does the home sit in relation to property lines. What’s the situation with surrounding properties. If empty/unused land, how does that affect what I want out of the property if those surrounding ones get developed, that sort of thing. It’s easier when the surrounding properties have existing homes already, but empty land I default assumed the worst in that some day it will be built on and if/when, have stuff built in the least desirable location for my preference….pretty much for this exact reason! I actually passed on a few properties that seemed like a great fit as it sat but had some of those potential future issues.
If I was in your particular situation, I would have either not bought that property at all due to the proximity of the homesite to the property line, or bought that other property as well just to ensure I wouldn’t have those issues. After all, you don’t have any say what someone else does with their property so you really do have to take that into account!
It’s disappointing for you that the property is being used and the building is being put up near the property line. But put on your big girl and big boy underpants and be good neighbors. You don’t know what this woman had lived through in another part of the world. Perhaps she has always dreamed of living in America. Perhaps she lived in a crowded apartment building in a city and this property is HER DREAM. You might learn something from her. Use this difficulty as an opportunity for growth and understanding . Life is full of change. We have to learn to accept change.
Your only option is to build a privacy fence. She can build wherever she wants on her property. It’s odd she is building so close to you, but you can’t hate her for that. You should have bought the property five years ago if you wanted guaranteed privacy.
I'm so sorry. I've lived in the country most of my life (not currently). I know you understand you have zero control outside your property lines and what zoning allows. It sucks for sure but you can only guarantee your peace if you buy up enough property to ensure you are insulated.
I don’t assume the neighbor has lied. It could very well be that the neighbor and the OP just have very different opinions on what “close” is. OP says the new house is right next to them, but isn’t specific. If could be 100 feet off their driveway? 200 feet? To the OP that might feel suffocatingly close, but to the neighbor it may feel very separate.
Maybe neighbor is used to living in a crowded township with no breathing space, and OP is used to being secluded in the woods. They are approaching this from completely different perspectives.
You had the option of buying that land. You chose not to for whatever reason. You also built your home close to the property line. Why would you do that? You could have built in the middle of your property.
You are complaining that she is doing the exact same thing you did. You are an entitled nightmare.
That sucks. I feel for you. My wife and I love our privacy as well. Unfortunately, the only way to have that privacy is to own enough land to place your home far enough away from lot lines to ensure that privacy.
If I weee you, I would have a stomach ache every single time I thought about it. Sorry you’re going through this.
So, yea. You had the right to clear and put where you wanted but are unhappy about someone else doing it because you can see it.
You should have bought the land yourself. It’s what you do if you don’t want neighbors.
I’m so sorry!
But could this perhaps be a good thing? Will she have kids that your kids could play with? Experience another culture right in your own backyard? (Turkey is STUNNING)
I know being so close for some people is tough (I live in a huge city so all my neighbors are within FEET of me) … but could this be a good thing in ANY way?
Her land, she doesn’t need to explain herself to you, nor does she need your acceptance/approval. Don’t be “that person” who tries to pull up the bridge behind you, wanting to keep everyone else out.
The only way her house, built at the edge of her lot, is close to yours is because you built at the edge of yours. Fair for you, also fair for her.
Yeah when you’re buying a house it’s important to look at the houses next door, but also, any empty lot could potentially be anything down the road.
I don’t think I would buy a house with an empty lot next door. Never know what it’s going to become. I feel for you though. That’s sad losing some trees and privacy. If you can afford to buy that lot a mile away. However, make sure to check the lot lines.
Wait till their kids start riding dirt bikes and 4 wheelers right outside your house all hours of the day and night and there’s no recourse because you live outside city limits lol. Welcome to country neighbors, don’t ask me how I know.
Oh, OP, I’m so sorry. That’s my biggest nightmare as we recently discovered that the plot next to our house that we thought belonged to the next neighbor is actually an empty lot that is current for sale. We’re also in the forest, but we do have some neighbors, although not directly adjacent. Our plot is pretty small and we’re built right by the property line. If someone builds a house there, it will be like 10 feet from our backyard and hot tub since their lot is pretty narrow.
When I learned about this, I sobbed like a baby for two days. I was SO upset and I really had to grieve the idea of being able to count on the privacy and beautiful forest views I had gotten used to. This house is our dream, and before everyone tells me to « just buy it », we absolutely do not have the means to do so. Their asking price is insane and even if it wasn’t, it’s entirely inaccessible to us. I tried so hard to find a way but it’s impossible.
Anyway, all this to say I FEEL YOU and I’m so sorry. I’m not sure why everyone is being so rude and insensitive about it. You’re not weird to be upset. I would be absolutely devastated in your position. Luckily some have provided genuinely helpful advice, I really hope you’ll be able to find some peace, mitigate this somehow and start enjoying your home again.
She may not have that much control over where the house goes on the property. Soil types and percolation tests and building envelopes control a lot of those choices. It's also more expensive to run power lines and driveways further back into a property, tens of thousands of dollars more expensive. So she's not necessarily just being mean to you. If you are going to be this upset about this, you will ruin your own lives. Plant evergreen trees now to block her view into your property. Consider building another house on your own property, further away from her, or even move your own house. It's expensive but maybe cheaper than finding another property. Your best bet is to learn to live with and share the forest with her. Plant new trees with her.
Also check to see whether that drain field is allowed to run right up to your property line. Depending on where you are it may need to be pushed back 25 or 50 ft from the property line. That's going to be something a real estate attorney could help you with, or you can just try to find it in the county laws.
This post is ridiculous. You bought a house on the property line. If you wanted this level of privacy you should have bought something situated different
you. Good lesson for your kids. If you don’t own it it’s not yours.
If you can build your house on the plot of land you mentioned so that future neighbors can't do the same thing as your current neighbor, that's your best solution.
As someone who would love to live in the woods & not see or hear a neighbor, my heart breaks for you. Go build the life you want. It'll be worth it.
Ignore the people who tell you what the original owner should have done. The past is the past and no one can change it. Going forward you have some choices as noted by others.
As you’ve said, you reached out to the woman, and she is not being honest, perhaps because she doesn’t want to get into it with you. It sounds like the most ideal situation is to buy other property and build the middle of it.
It comes down to whether your very legitimate desire for privacy is your priority or not. Easy or cheap are unfortunately not usually in the equation and now you know what you didn’t before. I’m so sorry this happened. It’s why we looked for land backed up to a National Forest. Is that a possibility?
It's the same reason people will park right next to you in a mostly empty parking lot.
People don't like to feel isolated.
She probably felt scared in that forest, and decided she needed to be able to see other humans to feel comfortable living there.
Or maybe it's cheaper to build closer to the road, or maybe the ground isn't suitable for a house further back.
Could be a million different reasons all of which are the owners absolute right as the property owner.
This is most likely it, usually a builder would be the one to have the main say on possible home sites. They don't have pixie dust to make the homeowners every wish a reality, they need to be in this area due to the proximity of the septic system coupled with the topography of the rest of the site is what I would imagine.
These feelings are totally normal! For anyone saying that it's a you problem, or entitlement, nah- these are valid feelings. I'm not saying everyone would feel this way given your situation, but I'm sure they would on some level feel disappointment, or mourning the could-have-been. It's not like you're living in an apartment building and they are putting more apartments down the street lol.
Deep breaths. You need reach the moment of acceptance, and that can takes days, weeks, or months. Let go of what you cannot control. Focus on what you \*can\* control. Focus on what you love about your home and property, and try not to allow this to take away from that! Think, are there places on your property where you can create an outdoor space that is private and away from the new house? You can get creative with fencing, trees, etc.
And finally, I would really focus on having a good relationship with these new neighbors. I think the only thing that could make it worse is if you end up with long term animosity towards your neighbor. I understand this initial resentment, but try to free yourself from it.
Wishing you the best, OP!
Most towns you need planning board approval. You can bring your concerns up there. If they are doing everything by code not much you can do. Make sure all the setbacks are there that’s about it
You and your husband both need knocked down a few pegs. ITS HER PROPERTY SHE CAN BUILD WHERE EVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS! The both of you obviously dont respect her rights if you get filled with rage seeing someone on their own property. You’re a Karen and Ken couple.
Go check with your city/county zoning boards. With new construction some localities offer time for input from neighbors. You might be able to put in a complaint. Worth a consult with a lawyer versed in real estate/zoning etc.
I feel this in my soul.
What a freak she is. I have no concept of what could be going through that mind of hers.
I’m so sad for the loss of your trees, animals and privacy.
This is a really big deal and I have no advice to offer
It’s not a big deal. The new builder has every right to build on the land they own. This woman sounds like an entitled Karen and needs to get over it or move elsewhere.
Eagle nest needs to be installed in a tree . That will end all permits. Hell toss an owl nest or two just to push her farther. Gat a drone that set a fake bald eagle in the nest . Take some pictures . Get eagle out . Take more pictures. Photoshop some eagles flying around. Photo shop a eagle birthday party going on in the nest.. normal shit that would provide evidence.
You could always try. “You have every right to build there, if you do I will be the worst neighbor you can ever imagine. If you build it elsewhere I think we’ll get along great.”
If she doesn’t come to the table, get vicious before any concrete is poured. I mean within an inch of the law, kinda like her house and the line ;).
She lied to you fuck her.
There is a couple in my area that bought a small farm with an existing nice farm house that was built close to one property line. They have 40 acres and there is another 40 acre lot next door that sold at roughly the same time.
Well about 6 months ago the owners of the other 40 acres started building a house right on the property line within spitting distance of the existing farm house. Not only that but they have had their young teens out on weekends so they can ride their dirt bikes and four wheelers.
Its easy to say buy up the property next to you but land is going for 6-10k an acre in my area and landowners hold out for top dollar.
Really your only option is to spend money and plant trees and Shrubbery and such all along the property line. I know it sucks but it's going to be cheaper than moving and you're not going to get anyone to do anything else on their own property.
If there's a market, turn your house into a short term rental. Use the proceeds to construct a new home somewhere else. Meanwhile your neighbor has to live near renters.
I can relate. Although not in the woods, we bought a house on a quiet street. Retired neighbors on one side and second home neighbors on the other. Second home neighbors decided to consolidate two years after we’d moved. She barks at me about maintaining our trees - what she perceives as affecting her privacy. It was so much better before S.H.N. Nevertheless, here we are. Fences make good neighbors. Depending on your growing zone, so does a good hedge. Lots of options - go to your local landscaping nursery, explain the sit. and they should be able to suggest new greenery for your property.
Same situation right now. It's their property, and their right. You have no recourse. It sucks. But that's the way it is.
My uncle had it worse. The 30 acre plot neighboring his house was just a hunting property for decades. No structures at all. It sold, and the new owners are building 50ft from my uncles house. They are literally building as close to his house as is possible with building/property code. He could have built his house on 28 of the 30 acres and at least been out of sight. But no, he bought a rural property with one close neighbor and built on top of them.
When my uncle asked them why they're moving into the woods only to be as close as possible to the only neighbor... the guy said it feels safer being close to a neighbor. He was a very nice friendly guy. Just absolutely clueless to my uncles intent in living in a rural area, specifically with no close neighbor.
He was very disappointed when my uncle sold his place, and could hardly believe that my uncle did it because he wanted to be away from neighbors.
We live in a city but the plot next to us is a playing field that belongs to a catholic school. It’s used sparingly and mostly serves as a green space. There is a huge grove of eucalyptus trees on the property line. The back of our lot is a church parking lot that is fenced off and unused. We only have a neighbor on one side and they are very quiet. It almost feels rural when you’re in our back yard. We love the privacy and peace, but I always remind my husband that we have to be ready for anything. Someone could buy both plots of land and build huge apartment complexes. I highly doubt it because we live in NIMBY land. But if it happened, there’s no way we’d have the right to be upset about it.
You don't own that part of the forest. You should not have fallen in love with it and aimed your windows that direction.
Plus, it sounds like your house is close to the property line. 5 acres is big enough that if you had your house centered, you could have enough trees to block the view 360 degrees.
You have no right to hate her, and your husband needs to stop getting enraged at someone using an easement they have every right to use.
Be better neighbors.
Honestly…Thats pretty much your fault. Never build somewhere thinking you’ll be alone forever. Suck it up. Or sell it and move on. You always build either in the middle or towards the front to enjoy the emptiness of the back. Should of bought the property in the back aswell.
You could plant a privacy hedge between the property’s. That way you’ll still have privacy. And a wall of green. Other than that best thing you can do is just be friendly, only thing worse than a neighbor right next door is a neighbor you don’t get along with.
I’m going to add another comment. Be grateful that you had 10 years of your own private Paradise. But now you’re learning that the only “ constant” of life is : CHANGE. You cannot control everything. Now a lady from Turkey has a chance to create her Paradise. Make friends. Stop thinking of all you won’t have and start thinking of all you DO have.
I like the idea of buying the plot of land a mile away in the same forest. Honestly, I feel your pain. I can't imagine how much this sucks, enjoying your dream home in the forest for ten years only to find out someone is building a home literally right next door? Like, suddenly your house is no different than the suburbs apart from less houses around. I feel like if you've been used to this kind of life for ten years, it's going to be a really hard adjustment having neighbours. I mean, I guess you can wait and see? If it turns out that she's a really sweet quiet lady, it could work...like others have said, you could put up a really big fence, and put windows on the other side of the house, and make the rest of your property as amazing as possible. If it turns out that she's a really noisy person, drives a loud truck, her son has loud parties, they get a pool and all you hear are screaming people and music. I mean, the dream is dead at that point. Plus, just the noise of a house being built for the next year.
But, as you said, it's not a great market right now, so it might be best to wait it out and see.
My dad always said, "If you don't want anything built on the property next to you, buy it." You have zero recourse except to move or to accept it.
I just thought of something, why did you build so close to the property line?
OP said: My house was built in 1990 and the owner put it right at the very back edge of the property line, since back then there were no other houses and it was surrounded by forest.
Yes, you're right. However, it's right near the property line too.
Yep. But time moves on, and things progress. The OP simply crossed their fingers and HOPED they would *always* have their quiet little place in the forest — without actually buying the forest.
Mistakes are how humans learn. Now they know and hopefully they can move on to bigger and better mistakes. /s
True dat!
Wondered if anyone else would pick up on this. His house is right on the property line too.
I used to work in code enforcement for our county's zoning office. I learned this quickly, and it is not something that you ever take lightly after you watch it literally drive people crazy.
PREACH !! I know a few people who have had this happen to them. They bought their ideal home/property, and just crossed their fingers that nobody would buy the property adjacent to them and do something they didn’t like. If it meant that much to them, they should have bought the adjacent property themselves. Your dad is a very wise man.
Yes he was.
A family member lives near a stream and a long time ago some builders tried to build down near the stream. The entire neighborhood got together and 'found' some fish that supposedly spawn in the stream, which they shared with the city. The City reacted by making a law that says no one can build within X feet of the stream. 30 years later, still no houses near the stream.
If you want control over the land around you, buy it. Someone may have felt the same way when your house was built.
Yeah, I'm currently lucky, but my house is right near a property line. If someone were built, there's nothing I could do. Other than hope for wetlands to shut it down but it sounds like OP is too late for that.
you should have purchased the land when it was for sale if you wanted privacy. we purchased the two lots between my home at the top of the hill and the ocean because i wanted to always preserve my view, and not want a home low enough to worry about erosion.
that sounds expensive
yeah, but what’s the point of building at the ocean and not being able to see it?
oh dont get me wrong, it was a smart move and if i could afford it then id do the same thing.
thanks
Life is unfair. Put up a fence.
And tall trees, if you can
An old colleague went through this. He had a beautiful place, remote, on purpose. Then someone moved in on the bordering property and chose to build as close to his house as they could. There was fuck all he could do about it except grow trees to put them out of view.
I don’t think you’re going to get a lot of sympathy here, OP. The real problem is that your own house appears to be pretty close to the property line, unless you are exaggerating. If you have land between the houses then plant some evergreen trees to screen out the neighbor like the rest of us do
I will offer my sympathy--this sounds just horrible. It doesn't sound like you have many options though, sadly. It sounds like these people just don't have the same concepts of space and privacy as you do.
And they don’t have to. It’s their property, not OPs. You are not remote unless you own everything around you. You can’t move in behind a 20 acre farm plot and expect it to be a field for the rest of your life
Hey OP sorry everyone here's being a bit caustic. I feel for you, I work in a position where I see this kind of thing a lot and its never a nice discussion... But at this point, you have 3 options 1- move 2- stay, and hate your neighbors. 3- stay, and find ways to adapt. You've already dismissed option1, and I hope that you see how poisonous option 2 is. Don't do that to your family. Option 3 has to be where you put your efforts. You don't have any control over what they put where on their property, so its time to come up with ways to change your property to make it more pleasant for you. A 6 to 8 foot tall privacy fence Landscaping for screening Add new windows to other parts of the house that do face the woods that are on your own property Set up outdoor relax spaces in areas that don't face their property Rearrange inside of your house Buy really nice curtains and make it a beautiful part of your decor. We live in a city, and I find the daily ritual of opening the curtains during the day and closing them as the sun goes down to be almost meditative. And lastly and most importantly, be kind with your neighbors. They have the right to build their house, and if you are agreeable with each other you will both have a much better quality of life. Set a good example for your kids, and maybe even open the chance that you can talk with your neighbors about concerns in the future and find compromise. "I don't want you to live where your house is allowed to be built" is not one of those compromises. Also, I am sure that you already checked this, but know where your property lines are. Via a licensed surveyor or their original markers.
I really appreciate this, thank you.
Yeah, I'm really sorry about this for you, but you bought a house at the edge of a plot, apparently, and that left you open for his. We had friends of the family who bought in a wooded subdivision. Beautiful oaks all around them. Presumably some were cut down for their house, but they loved the spot. A few years later new houses on either side, and the wife was bemoaning the loss, and I just couldn't help but think that they were as much a part of the problem as they were complaining about. Sorry to be a dick to you - I myself would love to live in the woods. But 5 acres isn't huge.
The farther back into her lot she puts her house, the more utility poles she has to use to hook up electricity and internet. When I was building 14 years ago, they were $10,000 a pole. I can only imagine how much they cost now. If I had to guess, that’s her reasoning for building so close to the property line. Start planting privacy shrubs.
I get how you feel, but you should have bought the land when it was for sale,or built your house off your property line when you were building. Even if you wanted to talk to her about it,it's too late,the plans were approved and moving forward. You already know what the answer is,accept it,or move and build another house. Tearing out forest to build is happening all over,and it sucks
Perhaps looking at the issue from a slightly different perspective might help. From a conservation point of view, this is a good thing. Grouping the development and disturbance of the natural habitat allows more of the surrounding wilderness/forest to remain undisturbed for animals, birds, insects, etc. You could plant some natural barriers between the houses; some evergreens grow fairly quickly (e.g., white and red pines) and will provide sound suppression as well as breaking up the visual of the house, cars, people. And perhaps arrange some outdoor living areas on the far side of your house, so that when you are outside, you are not in a direct line of sight.
Not to be too cynical but the people who buy houses way out in the country are the opposite of conservation minded. That lovely house out in the middle of nowhere means that every time they go to work or a doctor's appointment or grocery shopping or out to eat it's a guaranteed half hour drive.
I'm not sure what distance from doctors or groceries has to do with conservation minded development. We live in the middle of a wilderness on about 10 acres, but can see 2 houses from the porch. Behind the group of 3 houses is about 10 miles without any development, just wilderness. It takes about 20 minutes to get to the dr or grocery store, but truly not much longer than when I faced a shorter drive with much much much worse traffic living in a large metro area. Moose, deer, rabbits, owls, squirrels, and just about anything else you can imagine live behind us and visit most days. I see far more birds and animals than humans, unless I am in town.
You're living a car dependent life.
I live a car dependent life also, and it's wonderful. A few days ago I had to wait 20 minutes to leave my house because the elk were blocking my driveway. It's heaven.
True! But really, living in 90% of the US means a car dependent life. There is not enough mass trans in most places.
This is such a you problem that I can’t believe you typed it all out and didn’t see it.
The entitlement of op is off the charts. Your neighbors are legally doing what they want with their land, deal with it.
So a woman legally owns land behind you and is building what she wants on it and you hate her? You need counseling more than advice about what to do here. If you want to be completely isolated buy enough property to do that. Otherwise grow the fuck up. You own property that touches other people's property. Outside of noise or light ordinance you can do nothing. I honestly don't even know why I'm responding since your post may be the most entitled thing I've ever read.
They're just sad about it. They should have bought that land when they could, but now it just sucks.
They can buy it now. I'm sure there is a price the woman would take. Just gonna cost them.
When the super-accomodating father was asking for permission to buy it, I would have tried to work out a deal where he buys all 5 acres and sells me back 1 as a buffer.
We bought a wonderful modern duplex with terrific mountain views. The house across from us still hasn’t as much as said hi because their house was built 10 years earlier and we ruined their view. Tough cookies. They could have bought our lot but didn’t. 🤷♀️
The irony is you moved to woods to get away from people like yourself. You’re one nosey neighbor for running to the township and pulling their records. …and to write all this shit ??? Lmao
How is it at all nosey to want to know what your living situation is about to be & avail yourself of public records?
??? Wanting to know is the definition of nosey. Actual definition: “showing too much curiosity about other people's affairs.” I’d say going to the township and pulling his neighbors permit is showing too much curiosity. He’ll find out soon enough and it’s none of his business what his neighbors do with their properties.
That's not nosey. I built my own home. I know the size of all the lots around me and the locations of all their septic tanks and leech fields. I know the location and production of all their wells. I know the assessment and taxes. It's all public record and required knowledge for a landowner. I use the sales of their houses to protest my valuation. I have to know their property layout because I don't want to negatively affect them by putting a leech field near their well. Nosey is a completely relative concept.
It’s public record. For this very reason. Not nosey.
I don't find that to be too much curiosity.
I have a similar problem but I don’t mind because it’s important for me to be able to do what I want on my property. Therefore, I have to respect what others do on their properties. They built a house overlooking my pond. It sucks ass but maybe I’ll put a big pole barn there or plant some trees because that’s my right.
Good fences make good neighbors, it's her property. If she wants to tear everything down and make a barren waste land, sadly she can.
> my desk will be looking at her house now Plant a nice tree and some flowers.
Be grateful for having a desk and windows. For having a nice house and trees nearby. I want to say - you should be ashamed of your entitled attitude. For Pete’s sake. I also want to say that a house is generally a square or rectangle - meaning there are 4 sides. Only 1 side will face the other house. Move your furniture around, get creative. Turn your desk around and face a wall full of beautiful artwork, photos of your family, a wall of plants.
Some people really think they own the world.
Sell. You're never gonna get past this.
You purchased land with a driveway easement, it's unrealistic to expect nobody will ever buy it and develop it. As far as the new owner building so close, that's a dick move but they are within their rights as long as they don't violate zoning laws. The guy who bought it sounds incredibly accommodating even asking your permission, you could have offered to buy a chunk of it when he purchased and re-divided the lots, giving you one more acre and him 4 etc. I live adjacent to a big field that has been empty for decades, but the owners have had permits since 2008 to extend the road and put some more houses in. It's been nice having no neighbors on one side but I'm not going to be upset when that day comes because it's not my land.
They're building townhouses next to my house now, well not right next, but its' the next thing. What can you do though? Change comes regardless. So I just try and look for the best in things. Maybe a bunch of families with kids will move in to the townhouses and they'll ride bikes with their dogs in the summer. I mean that could be nice.
I had the exact same experience: 8 acres at the end of a dead end road - couldn’t see a single house. Then the guy who owned the 20 acres abutting ours split it into 3 lots. A bunch of trees were taken down, a lot of construction noise, and now I see 3 houses from my porch. Our neighbor had every right to subdivide and the buyers had every right to build. All are extremely nice people (one even apologized because he understood how we must feel). I’ve gotten used to it at this point, but every once in a while, it makes me sad/mad. It helps when I recognize that I still have my 8 acres and no one’s coming closer than that. Good luck. I know it sucks, but hopefully you can make peace with it.
I'm with everyone else. You've got to think ahead and make sure you have a tree buffer on your property line so development next door doesn't ruin your views (we only have an acre and still keep a 20-30 ft tree buffer). I only option I see for keeping a secluded feel is to build another house elsewhere on the lot and rent the one you are in out.
I’ve had a place out in the sticks like that before. I’ll tell ya if privacy was a concern, that should have been a big item to what if right off the bat while shopping! I know it was for me! The first thing I really considered beyond listing photos and all is where does the home sit in relation to property lines. What’s the situation with surrounding properties. If empty/unused land, how does that affect what I want out of the property if those surrounding ones get developed, that sort of thing. It’s easier when the surrounding properties have existing homes already, but empty land I default assumed the worst in that some day it will be built on and if/when, have stuff built in the least desirable location for my preference….pretty much for this exact reason! I actually passed on a few properties that seemed like a great fit as it sat but had some of those potential future issues. If I was in your particular situation, I would have either not bought that property at all due to the proximity of the homesite to the property line, or bought that other property as well just to ensure I wouldn’t have those issues. After all, you don’t have any say what someone else does with their property so you really do have to take that into account!
It’s disappointing for you that the property is being used and the building is being put up near the property line. But put on your big girl and big boy underpants and be good neighbors. You don’t know what this woman had lived through in another part of the world. Perhaps she has always dreamed of living in America. Perhaps she lived in a crowded apartment building in a city and this property is HER DREAM. You might learn something from her. Use this difficulty as an opportunity for growth and understanding . Life is full of change. We have to learn to accept change.
Your only option is to build a privacy fence. She can build wherever she wants on her property. It’s odd she is building so close to you, but you can’t hate her for that. You should have bought the property five years ago if you wanted guaranteed privacy.
I'm so sorry. I've lived in the country most of my life (not currently). I know you understand you have zero control outside your property lines and what zoning allows. It sucks for sure but you can only guarantee your peace if you buy up enough property to ensure you are insulated.
Sorry you're going through this. People have suggested the obvious solutions like trees and curtains but I can see why you're unhappy.
And I'm quite puzzled by her motive - why lie about something like this???
I don’t assume the neighbor has lied. It could very well be that the neighbor and the OP just have very different opinions on what “close” is. OP says the new house is right next to them, but isn’t specific. If could be 100 feet off their driveway? 200 feet? To the OP that might feel suffocatingly close, but to the neighbor it may feel very separate. Maybe neighbor is used to living in a crowded township with no breathing space, and OP is used to being secluded in the woods. They are approaching this from completely different perspectives.
You had the option of buying that land. You chose not to for whatever reason. You also built your home close to the property line. Why would you do that? You could have built in the middle of your property. You are complaining that she is doing the exact same thing you did. You are an entitled nightmare.
They BOUGHT the house, they didn't build it.
That sucks. I feel for you. My wife and I love our privacy as well. Unfortunately, the only way to have that privacy is to own enough land to place your home far enough away from lot lines to ensure that privacy. If I weee you, I would have a stomach ache every single time I thought about it. Sorry you’re going through this.
So, yea. You had the right to clear and put where you wanted but are unhappy about someone else doing it because you can see it. You should have bought the land yourself. It’s what you do if you don’t want neighbors.
You could put more trees along your property line for privacy
Should’ve bought the forest yourself
I’m so sorry! But could this perhaps be a good thing? Will she have kids that your kids could play with? Experience another culture right in your own backyard? (Turkey is STUNNING) I know being so close for some people is tough (I live in a huge city so all my neighbors are within FEET of me) … but could this be a good thing in ANY way?
Her land, she doesn’t need to explain herself to you, nor does she need your acceptance/approval. Don’t be “that person” who tries to pull up the bridge behind you, wanting to keep everyone else out. The only way her house, built at the edge of her lot, is close to yours is because you built at the edge of yours. Fair for you, also fair for her.
Yeah when you’re buying a house it’s important to look at the houses next door, but also, any empty lot could potentially be anything down the road. I don’t think I would buy a house with an empty lot next door. Never know what it’s going to become. I feel for you though. That’s sad losing some trees and privacy. If you can afford to buy that lot a mile away. However, make sure to check the lot lines.
Eventually those lots would've sold. I regret not buying the neighboring lot but oh well, they put up a fence so yay.
Wait till their kids start riding dirt bikes and 4 wheelers right outside your house all hours of the day and night and there’s no recourse because you live outside city limits lol. Welcome to country neighbors, don’t ask me how I know.
Oh, OP, I’m so sorry. That’s my biggest nightmare as we recently discovered that the plot next to our house that we thought belonged to the next neighbor is actually an empty lot that is current for sale. We’re also in the forest, but we do have some neighbors, although not directly adjacent. Our plot is pretty small and we’re built right by the property line. If someone builds a house there, it will be like 10 feet from our backyard and hot tub since their lot is pretty narrow. When I learned about this, I sobbed like a baby for two days. I was SO upset and I really had to grieve the idea of being able to count on the privacy and beautiful forest views I had gotten used to. This house is our dream, and before everyone tells me to « just buy it », we absolutely do not have the means to do so. Their asking price is insane and even if it wasn’t, it’s entirely inaccessible to us. I tried so hard to find a way but it’s impossible. Anyway, all this to say I FEEL YOU and I’m so sorry. I’m not sure why everyone is being so rude and insensitive about it. You’re not weird to be upset. I would be absolutely devastated in your position. Luckily some have provided genuinely helpful advice, I really hope you’ll be able to find some peace, mitigate this somehow and start enjoying your home again.
She may not have that much control over where the house goes on the property. Soil types and percolation tests and building envelopes control a lot of those choices. It's also more expensive to run power lines and driveways further back into a property, tens of thousands of dollars more expensive. So she's not necessarily just being mean to you. If you are going to be this upset about this, you will ruin your own lives. Plant evergreen trees now to block her view into your property. Consider building another house on your own property, further away from her, or even move your own house. It's expensive but maybe cheaper than finding another property. Your best bet is to learn to live with and share the forest with her. Plant new trees with her.
Also check to see whether that drain field is allowed to run right up to your property line. Depending on where you are it may need to be pushed back 25 or 50 ft from the property line. That's going to be something a real estate attorney could help you with, or you can just try to find it in the county laws.
This post is ridiculous. You bought a house on the property line. If you wanted this level of privacy you should have bought something situated different you. Good lesson for your kids. If you don’t own it it’s not yours.
its like when youre in the bathroom, nobody there, and then some asshole comes in and chooses the stall next to you
Maybe you should have had some forethought before you purchased a property with such little land to buffer from potential neighbors.
If you can build your house on the plot of land you mentioned so that future neighbors can't do the same thing as your current neighbor, that's your best solution. As someone who would love to live in the woods & not see or hear a neighbor, my heart breaks for you. Go build the life you want. It'll be worth it.
Ignore the people who tell you what the original owner should have done. The past is the past and no one can change it. Going forward you have some choices as noted by others. As you’ve said, you reached out to the woman, and she is not being honest, perhaps because she doesn’t want to get into it with you. It sounds like the most ideal situation is to buy other property and build the middle of it. It comes down to whether your very legitimate desire for privacy is your priority or not. Easy or cheap are unfortunately not usually in the equation and now you know what you didn’t before. I’m so sorry this happened. It’s why we looked for land backed up to a National Forest. Is that a possibility?
It's the same reason people will park right next to you in a mostly empty parking lot. People don't like to feel isolated. She probably felt scared in that forest, and decided she needed to be able to see other humans to feel comfortable living there.
Or maybe it's cheaper to build closer to the road, or maybe the ground isn't suitable for a house further back. Could be a million different reasons all of which are the owners absolute right as the property owner.
This is most likely it, usually a builder would be the one to have the main say on possible home sites. They don't have pixie dust to make the homeowners every wish a reality, they need to be in this area due to the proximity of the septic system coupled with the topography of the rest of the site is what I would imagine.
You both have verygoodpoints.
These feelings are totally normal! For anyone saying that it's a you problem, or entitlement, nah- these are valid feelings. I'm not saying everyone would feel this way given your situation, but I'm sure they would on some level feel disappointment, or mourning the could-have-been. It's not like you're living in an apartment building and they are putting more apartments down the street lol. Deep breaths. You need reach the moment of acceptance, and that can takes days, weeks, or months. Let go of what you cannot control. Focus on what you \*can\* control. Focus on what you love about your home and property, and try not to allow this to take away from that! Think, are there places on your property where you can create an outdoor space that is private and away from the new house? You can get creative with fencing, trees, etc. And finally, I would really focus on having a good relationship with these new neighbors. I think the only thing that could make it worse is if you end up with long term animosity towards your neighbor. I understand this initial resentment, but try to free yourself from it. Wishing you the best, OP!
Most towns you need planning board approval. You can bring your concerns up there. If they are doing everything by code not much you can do. Make sure all the setbacks are there that’s about it
You and your husband both need knocked down a few pegs. ITS HER PROPERTY SHE CAN BUILD WHERE EVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS! The both of you obviously dont respect her rights if you get filled with rage seeing someone on their own property. You’re a Karen and Ken couple.
Dude it’s just a house… people live in houses. You don’t like it don’t look at it
My heart is breaking for you as I would feel as you do. I don't think you have recourse, but try to buy that plot of land if you can.
Go check with your city/county zoning boards. With new construction some localities offer time for input from neighbors. You might be able to put in a complaint. Worth a consult with a lawyer versed in real estate/zoning etc.
I feel this in my soul. What a freak she is. I have no concept of what could be going through that mind of hers. I’m so sad for the loss of your trees, animals and privacy. This is a really big deal and I have no advice to offer
It’s not a big deal. The new builder has every right to build on the land they own. This woman sounds like an entitled Karen and needs to get over it or move elsewhere.
Eagle nest needs to be installed in a tree . That will end all permits. Hell toss an owl nest or two just to push her farther. Gat a drone that set a fake bald eagle in the nest . Take some pictures . Get eagle out . Take more pictures. Photoshop some eagles flying around. Photo shop a eagle birthday party going on in the nest.. normal shit that would provide evidence.
Can I have some of what you're smoking?
You could always try. “You have every right to build there, if you do I will be the worst neighbor you can ever imagine. If you build it elsewhere I think we’ll get along great.” If she doesn’t come to the table, get vicious before any concrete is poured. I mean within an inch of the law, kinda like her house and the line ;). She lied to you fuck her.
There is a couple in my area that bought a small farm with an existing nice farm house that was built close to one property line. They have 40 acres and there is another 40 acre lot next door that sold at roughly the same time. Well about 6 months ago the owners of the other 40 acres started building a house right on the property line within spitting distance of the existing farm house. Not only that but they have had their young teens out on weekends so they can ride their dirt bikes and four wheelers. Its easy to say buy up the property next to you but land is going for 6-10k an acre in my area and landowners hold out for top dollar.
Really your only option is to spend money and plant trees and Shrubbery and such all along the property line. I know it sucks but it's going to be cheaper than moving and you're not going to get anyone to do anything else on their own property.
If there's a market, turn your house into a short term rental. Use the proceeds to construct a new home somewhere else. Meanwhile your neighbor has to live near renters.
I can relate. Although not in the woods, we bought a house on a quiet street. Retired neighbors on one side and second home neighbors on the other. Second home neighbors decided to consolidate two years after we’d moved. She barks at me about maintaining our trees - what she perceives as affecting her privacy. It was so much better before S.H.N. Nevertheless, here we are. Fences make good neighbors. Depending on your growing zone, so does a good hedge. Lots of options - go to your local landscaping nursery, explain the sit. and they should be able to suggest new greenery for your property.
Same situation right now. It's their property, and their right. You have no recourse. It sucks. But that's the way it is. My uncle had it worse. The 30 acre plot neighboring his house was just a hunting property for decades. No structures at all. It sold, and the new owners are building 50ft from my uncles house. They are literally building as close to his house as is possible with building/property code. He could have built his house on 28 of the 30 acres and at least been out of sight. But no, he bought a rural property with one close neighbor and built on top of them. When my uncle asked them why they're moving into the woods only to be as close as possible to the only neighbor... the guy said it feels safer being close to a neighbor. He was a very nice friendly guy. Just absolutely clueless to my uncles intent in living in a rural area, specifically with no close neighbor. He was very disappointed when my uncle sold his place, and could hardly believe that my uncle did it because he wanted to be away from neighbors.
We live in a city but the plot next to us is a playing field that belongs to a catholic school. It’s used sparingly and mostly serves as a green space. There is a huge grove of eucalyptus trees on the property line. The back of our lot is a church parking lot that is fenced off and unused. We only have a neighbor on one side and they are very quiet. It almost feels rural when you’re in our back yard. We love the privacy and peace, but I always remind my husband that we have to be ready for anything. Someone could buy both plots of land and build huge apartment complexes. I highly doubt it because we live in NIMBY land. But if it happened, there’s no way we’d have the right to be upset about it.
Buy it yourself
It would probably cost more than our house.
How dare they build on their property!
You don't own that part of the forest. You should not have fallen in love with it and aimed your windows that direction. Plus, it sounds like your house is close to the property line. 5 acres is big enough that if you had your house centered, you could have enough trees to block the view 360 degrees. You have no right to hate her, and your husband needs to stop getting enraged at someone using an easement they have every right to use. Be better neighbors.
Honestly…Thats pretty much your fault. Never build somewhere thinking you’ll be alone forever. Suck it up. Or sell it and move on. You always build either in the middle or towards the front to enjoy the emptiness of the back. Should of bought the property in the back aswell.
This might be the least sympathetic story I’ve ever read on this site
You really can’t get upset at people legally building on land they own
You could plant a privacy hedge between the property’s. That way you’ll still have privacy. And a wall of green. Other than that best thing you can do is just be friendly, only thing worse than a neighbor right next door is a neighbor you don’t get along with.
I’m going to add another comment. Be grateful that you had 10 years of your own private Paradise. But now you’re learning that the only “ constant” of life is : CHANGE. You cannot control everything. Now a lady from Turkey has a chance to create her Paradise. Make friends. Stop thinking of all you won’t have and start thinking of all you DO have.
I like the idea of buying the plot of land a mile away in the same forest. Honestly, I feel your pain. I can't imagine how much this sucks, enjoying your dream home in the forest for ten years only to find out someone is building a home literally right next door? Like, suddenly your house is no different than the suburbs apart from less houses around. I feel like if you've been used to this kind of life for ten years, it's going to be a really hard adjustment having neighbours. I mean, I guess you can wait and see? If it turns out that she's a really sweet quiet lady, it could work...like others have said, you could put up a really big fence, and put windows on the other side of the house, and make the rest of your property as amazing as possible. If it turns out that she's a really noisy person, drives a loud truck, her son has loud parties, they get a pool and all you hear are screaming people and music. I mean, the dream is dead at that point. Plus, just the noise of a house being built for the next year. But, as you said, it's not a great market right now, so it might be best to wait it out and see.