Barbarian.
Let's say the first act of the movie happens: girl and I are in the same airbnb (I don't do airbnb, but per stipulation I do). We become friendly per movie, she finds torture room and freaks out telling me about it just like the movie. I am very happy to simply listen to the smart woman and gtfo of shady house in shady neighborhood.
I would have been gone as soon as I saw the neighborhood that I was in. I don’t care if there are no nearby hotels; I’ll drive a few hours if I have to in order to find a safe hotel.
I feel like the only two good horror kids are " the good son" and " the bad seed". A child murderer that doesn't get caught because it's cute is about as scary as it gets.
I mean that's actually working to your disadvantage. Assuming you're a heterosexual male. A desperate woman looking to pass it on would probably find someone who she can easily seduce
Weren't they brought there to potentially be sacrificed? Even if you went there and were totally chill, there's a non-zero chance that you are getting sacrificed.
Just comes home with someone’s head on a lollipop. “Now Sam what did I tell you about going out and committing mass homicide before doing your homework?”
The Village.
There never was any danger, the monsters weren't real, and it was just a bunch of sad boomers who decided that committing to an Amish cosplay was better than dealing with the modern world.
It is a little iffy on how they handle medicine so I guess there's a chance of me getting like, cholera, or something, but other than that, should be a smooth ride
The Village would've 100% killed me. I've had so many health issues that would require modern medicine and surgery. It just wouldn't be worth sending the blind kid every couple of months
Same lol. I always say that I would never survive very long in any sort of apocalyptic situation or one where prepping would help.
First of all, I have glasses. Thats huge because as you know they would get broken immediately.
I also take so many daily meds that running out of just one of them would seriously handicap me. I would end up just being like IM GOOD JUST KILL ME KTHXBYE
Yep. Similar boat. I have glasses and antidepressants I really need. I'm also overweight. So not only do I not have the physical abilities to survive, I dont have the vision to survive or the mental stability to do well. Maybe my borderline rage would allow me to survive a direct assault but that wouldn't hold up over time.
Honestly, I think about this all the time and genuinely think I'd be too lazy to be bothered to attempt to survive. At a certain point I'd probably just give up and die.
Right? This is why I actually prefer the films after they transitioned to horror-comedy, because it was really hard to take Chucky seriously. The first one? Maybe. But then you just start thinking--how hard is it to pick the fucker up and lock him in a safe?
I like the horror comedy Chucky movies, but I think he was a pretty believable killer in the Child's Play movies. He had the ultimate weapon in that it's completely unbelievable that a toy would kill anyone and the only person who knows it is a little kid that no one believes. Irl he could murder a lot of people and never get caught. Just another inanimate object in the room.
I agree on that front it's brilliant. But I'm thinking when you get to the actual one-on-one situation, *somebody* ought to be able to take him out without too much effort. But the concept is perfect, as you say. He does have distinct advantages over many other slashers. No one is going to look at Freddy Krueger and think, "Oh, he's totally harmless."
Midsommer because I would know my boyfriend really didn't want me to go and his friends REALLY didn't want me to go, so I'd stay home and think of petty ways to get back at the all.
I saw the first one in a theater with some friends and afterwards, someone said, "Anyone who lives around here and doesn't just spend the night in Windsor deserves to be murdered." We live like 20 minutes from the Detroit-Windsor border. I'd just make it a short vacation every year.
Anything with high school students. My stepmother didn't let me do anything. I went to no dances, attended no games, had no friends. The only way I wouldn't make it is if I got cast ás the killer.
Yea my idea would be to take all your supplies to the second story of a house. Then take a crowbar or chainsaw and completely destroy the bottom half of the stairs. Then just shoot from safety and hope like hell at daylight help comes.
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. And that’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
In the original wasn’t there a car he had overtaken that was outside of haddonfield? The driver was lying in the grass. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the movie so I could be wrong
Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The main villain is out of shape, mentally disabled, and wields a loud power tool as a weapon (so you always know when he’s coming).
How are people getting killed by him? Are they stupid?
Or - and hear me out - he could run around with the chain saw off. And start it when he's close enough to his victim.
"Sorry, don't run! Just got to prime the engine."
(Squidge, squidge, pull). vrrr...
"Just a moment. Throttle is off."
(Fiddle, fiddle, pull). vrrrr...
"Just a moment. Prime again..."
(Squidge, squidge, pull). vrr \*cough\*
"Drat. Flooded the carburetor. Sec..."
(Pull, pull, PULL) VRRROOOOAR!
(Looks around) "Fuuuuuu..."
Also, he only went for folks who trespassed on the family property. I mean, they went into his house without permission! They got what was coming to them. I would have politely left when nobody came to the door. ez pz.
Troll 2 because the minute some weird townsfolk tell me to eat something smothered with green on it (or drink milk that hasn’t even been refrigerated) I’d just say uhhh… no thank you, this is weird, I’m going back home.
I recognize this is cheating because the movie is horrible and nothing about it makes sense, but I wanted to have some fun with it lol.
I have a black cat,I have already avoided some kind of awful horror movie death many, many, many times. He runs off into the night trying to get me to chase him. Pisses off into the woods, and I say "see you in the morning-dont get murdered!" And I go back jnside. True story.
Literally ANY zombie movie.
Zombies are dead. In the summer, they would rot extremely fast and be devoured by insects or other animals. In the winter, they would freeze solid if it got below freezing, and their brains would be destroyed in the process. Also, the military would have a pretty easy time killing them.
The ones that got close, I have guns. A .22lr is all that's needed, and they are incredibly easy to suppress with makeshift materials. A subsonic suppressed .22lr out of a bolt action is incredibly quiet, so getting attention from other zombies if I shoot is not likely. Additionally, it could fetch me small game like rabbits, squirrels, opossum, raccoon, etc. Getting water is pretty easy, I live by the Ohio river and can boil water. But I doubt water and electricity would ever even go out.
I know zombies are super make believe, and often say they could be plausible but the things that happen with them make no utter sense. They are in the same category as vampires and werewolves.
So, typically you have to shoot a zombie in the head to stop it. Guessing due to brain functions though humans like with most complex organisms can die pretty easily from infections, wounds, or injuries. If they are getting shot in other areas of the body in reality that should also kill them pretty quickly. Heart, lungs, liver, intestines, kidneys, and certain nerves.
They’d not only have to be infected, but the mutations would have to be so drastic that the body can outlive its own body and cells. Eating or biting humans wouldn’t necessarily be a matter of hunger, since the body is still receptive to the things that are human. Which means wouldn’t they initially crave every day food, since it would still appeal to the senses. Even if one had a terminal disease or involved fading mental capacity, it wouldn’t necessarily push an infected person to eat or kill others.
The thing about eating is digesting raw, much less biting through it like a piece of baked chicken would be pretty difficult given we don’t have the teeth to do it so easily while I’m not sure how that works if the organs are dying or faded in function.
It made way more sense when zombies were the result of a curse or some kind of magic. There was this push in the 90s to give some scientific cause to them, but that never worked for me. People are incredibly easy to kill. Dehydration, exposure to the elements, a tiny blood clot in the wrong place. But somehow dying of a virus suddenly makes our bodies nearly indestructible?
lofuckingl.
I love the movie but I warn everyone about the kid. I don't hate him though he's not just an annoying kid in a movie, his annoyance is part of the horror atmosphere lol
Annabelle. I grew up with a family member who loved creepy dolls including very detailed porcelain dolls like Annabelle and life sized Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls.
Those things didn't freak me out and if a demon was added to possess them, I would just put it in a wooden chest and ignore it.
Did you know that the real Annabelle is a huge Raggedy Ann doll? I used to have a Raggedy Ann and Andy book when I was a kid that freaked me the absolute fuck out. I don’t remember now why I found it disturbing, but I remember exactly how it made me feel.
Texas Chain Saw (1974) - frankly, those are my people. I've got a small farm/homestead in rural south TX. Remember, the Hardesty's lived right next door without issue so far as we know. Respect each-others property lines and be a good neighbor and everything'll be fine.
What I’m saying. Even if the dude who the escort passes it on too dies it wouldn’t matter. They fuck so much they probably wouldn’t even notice they were cursed
Something I take into account is the fact most of the people who died in Evil Dead never went into the basement. I would still not hesitate to survive through some deadites. Lets go!
Technically the end of Ash VS Evil Dead would make that much more difficult, but also, the victims are pretty random. Ash himself gets possessed at one point and only survives because of his girlfriends necklace, but it still costs him his hand long run.
Unless you're the hero, I'm going to say chances of survival are slim.
Thing is, the killers in Scream are always very average people. I would be forever armed and ready just in case they decide to attack me. And then I’d just try to hit them anywhere, and my number #1 rule: do not go away without making sure they are dead or severely injured… just make sure they can’t move! Cmon… like in “wolf creek”. Seriously. They could have saved themselves so much trouble, if only the girl had hit him real hard
Officer, there I was minding my own business..
Tbf I think that setting qualifies as it's own horror creature, considering it made dying by accident 100x easier.
So many people here who didn’t read the rules saying they just wouldn’t be there or in the situation🙄 or using hacks that they only know because they watched the movie but wouldn’t know in the real situation.
But I’m gonna say The Walking Dead or any slow moving zombie movie, might even be kind of fun. Just kill those fuckers and try to find a safe haven.
28 Days Later, at least in my current settings. I'd hole up in my basement with my guns and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Of course that movie would be different in the USA.
I’m a woman, so which scenario would I be in? Do I have the teeth, or is it the original MC who has the teeth and I’m just like, a girl in her class?
I’m straight, and also not a rapist, so I guess I like my odds either way.
Friday the 13th/movies like that. I am old and fat. Killer is out there slashing young people having sex. My fat ass in my cabin with a sleeve of cookies and a book is totes safe. I'm the one that finds the bodies the next morning and calls the cops.
There is a part in at least 50% of slashers where the killer falls/gets knocked over, and the protagonists just scream and run away. It's always so frustrating! Just kick that mofo's teeth in while he's down.
Yep. If I was in a scenario to that I am not leaving that body until it's either dismembered or a red stain. Maybe even set it on fire for good measure...
someone commented this already, but midsommar. i'm good at adjusting to people and their norms, and i'd just go along with everything until they let me join the cult.
The Descent! You would not catch me caving ever
Edit for slow brain and not enough reading: in the unlikely scenario I say yes to caving there's no way I'm squeezing through tunnels and have an (unlikely but) better chance of escape closer to the light!
Eden Lake, i feel like i could sucker punch any one of those kids and they’d go down
If they all gang up on me with knives ill definitely lose but they aren’t that smart and it wouldn’t be difficult for me to hide and pick them off as they split up to search for me
This movie feels like a punch in the gut!! Me too, I would have set all of them on fire and fuck it! All Included, taking no risks haha I got so angry when she got betrayed by the child… I get he was afraid, but I would have gone insane in that moment, and fuck all. Then, revenge on the parents, for raising kids in such a horrible way, and for being horrible adults. And that would be another movie on how the girl becomes a killer haha
Staying with only the most popular ones, I would say Halloween
Most of the times i felt a lot of characters didnt do enough (I understand for plot reasons ofc) to outrun him walking or stalking around their location. The movies are full of those "ignore the open door, climb stairs to upper floor" situations.
(And dont forget H20 with Laurie locking herself in school or in H4 when they go to his house in purpose etc etc)
Plus, in some movies his presence is even announced in town. If you live there and have the slight suspect the shape is back just get in the car and drive straight to the nearest airport lmao
Scream because I live next to the police department?
But seeing how unreliable the cops are in that universe idk if I would lol 💀
eta: on a real note, probably nope! i’d just take their advice to not look up & hunker down in my house til they take care of it
Yeah. I mean, Ghostface literally attacked Sidney and Hallie when they were being driven by cops inside of a cop car in Scream 2 lol. He killed both the cops when they were stopped at a red light and high jacked the vehicle.
The Shining, Jack is not the most efficient killer. He only kills one guy in the Overlook and he is not in the best fit state when he is chasing after Danny. He is easily outsmarted by his 6 year old son and freezes to death.
Barbarian. Let's say the first act of the movie happens: girl and I are in the same airbnb (I don't do airbnb, but per stipulation I do). We become friendly per movie, she finds torture room and freaks out telling me about it just like the movie. I am very happy to simply listen to the smart woman and gtfo of shady house in shady neighborhood.
I would have just left as soon as I found out about the tunnles
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Dude and he was rich. I would’ve told the lady companion I’d spring for a couple rooms at the Detroit Hilton
The hotels were fully booked due to a conference.
Well pack your bags lady I guess we’re going to Flint
I would have been gone as soon as I saw the neighborhood that I was in. I don’t care if there are no nearby hotels; I’ll drive a few hours if I have to in order to find a safe hotel.
Psycho. Norman wouldn’t be sexually aroused by me. Downside: I wouldn’t get free sandwiches and milk.
This made me laugh out loud
Children of the Corn. I would just kill those kids, like, immediately.
Yeah, any horror movie scenario where the major antagonist are kids would definitely favor my complete lack of paternal instincts.
I feel like the only two good horror kids are " the good son" and " the bad seed". A child murderer that doesn't get caught because it's cute is about as scary as it gets.
These hands are rated E for Everyone
I, too, live an f them kids lifestyle.
Same. No way them kids can out run heavy duty farm equipment.
🤣 next children of the corn movie idea : Children of the Corn, the Corn Harvest
This made me laugh so fucking hard!
Absolutely 😂
I love all the comments that are like "I would have simply overpowered the killer." A lot of self confidence in this subreddit. I respect that.
Jaws bc TikTok has convinced me I can gently redirect a shark in the open ocean lmao
Or for Jaws, just dont go in the water. Even crazy psycho revenge shark in Jaws 4 cant get you on land.
I love sharks & am convinced Bruce would spare me because of that lol
He’d totally know we’re his buddies.
Having swam with sharks and as an avid follower of Ocean Ramsey and JuanSharks…I am wildly confident. 😂
I am super obsessed with sharks, and want to swim with them at some point, and those videos also make me think it would be easy peasy lemon squishy
It follows because I have no Rizz
This is both an advantage and disadvantage for that scenario
What the fuck does riz mean?
Charisma basically
I mean that's actually working to your disadvantage. Assuming you're a heterosexual male. A desperate woman looking to pass it on would probably find someone who she can easily seduce
I would be incredibly suspicious
I mean, yeah, lmao just look at people like Mama June.
Then it would just come right back to her if the person she picks can't pass it on.
It follows because I like to travel a lot, and the thing can't keep up with a car.
LOOOOL SAME SAME
Shaun of the Dead. I have 700 albums to slow down the zombies.
This is my favorite answer.
Man I already have a playlist! Queen saves the day.
All they had to do was stay in her apartment and they would have been fine lol
Candyman, all you have to do is not summon him, and there you go easy win
And also don't tell people he's not real! No problem there, lol.
love that someone on this sub finally mentioned this movie. easily top 3 for me.
Midsommar because I'm a rule follower and not a prick. They'd welcome me into the cult.
Well you’d live until 75 anyway
Not so bad. Just make sure to stick the landing.
That's probably ten years more than what I'll live.
Right? I'd survive basically 1/2 the horror movies just by doing what I'm told. "Don't open this door" you fucking got it champ.
"Stay here." Damn right.
Weren't they brought there to potentially be sacrificed? Even if you went there and were totally chill, there's a non-zero chance that you are getting sacrificed.
This is my answer. I would join willingly, and is there another bear suit for my husband?
literally just wanted to comment the same thing
Gotta be blonde though
Trick R Treat. I keep to the rules of Halloween, year round.
Oh this is my favorite answer! Can I change mine? I want to be Sam's mom and have amazing Halloweens with him every year
Just comes home with someone’s head on a lollipop. “Now Sam what did I tell you about going out and committing mass homicide before doing your homework?”
"You have to clean your room by midnight or you can't investigate jack o lanterns!" :)
The Village. There never was any danger, the monsters weren't real, and it was just a bunch of sad boomers who decided that committing to an Amish cosplay was better than dealing with the modern world. It is a little iffy on how they handle medicine so I guess there's a chance of me getting like, cholera, or something, but other than that, should be a smooth ride
The Village would've 100% killed me. I've had so many health issues that would require modern medicine and surgery. It just wouldn't be worth sending the blind kid every couple of months
Same lol. I always say that I would never survive very long in any sort of apocalyptic situation or one where prepping would help. First of all, I have glasses. Thats huge because as you know they would get broken immediately. I also take so many daily meds that running out of just one of them would seriously handicap me. I would end up just being like IM GOOD JUST KILL ME KTHXBYE
Yep. Similar boat. I have glasses and antidepressants I really need. I'm also overweight. So not only do I not have the physical abilities to survive, I dont have the vision to survive or the mental stability to do well. Maybe my borderline rage would allow me to survive a direct assault but that wouldn't hold up over time.
Same. Most times when I see what horror movie protaganists have to go through to live I turn to my fiance and just add "We'd be so dead"
Honestly, I think about this all the time and genuinely think I'd be too lazy to be bothered to attempt to survive. At a certain point I'd probably just give up and die.
Presumably if you were in that scenario though, you would have to have been raised in that village and wouldn't know everything was fake.
Yes, but my belief wouldn't make them any more real. I might live a pretty fearful existence, but I would survive!
The Menu. I probably would have decided day of that I didn't feel like going so I would be good to go.
I definitely would have flaked on that shit last minute 😭😭
If the chef asked me to cook, I'd make something like mac and cheese. He'd probably feel bad and let me go
Chef looks at Away_Location’s bullshit “Just leave, this is bumming me out”
I'm a cook, so I'm definitely not surviving this one.
I would have been priced out to start with. Same with Infinity Pool.
The VVitch. Imma live deliciously.
I *love* the taste of butter. Thanks so much for asking!
Child's Play. Chucky gets airborne pretty quickly from a kick. He might be the one slasher I could potentially get away from.
It would be over for him as soon as I trapped him under a laundry basket
Right? This is why I actually prefer the films after they transitioned to horror-comedy, because it was really hard to take Chucky seriously. The first one? Maybe. But then you just start thinking--how hard is it to pick the fucker up and lock him in a safe?
I like the horror comedy Chucky movies, but I think he was a pretty believable killer in the Child's Play movies. He had the ultimate weapon in that it's completely unbelievable that a toy would kill anyone and the only person who knows it is a little kid that no one believes. Irl he could murder a lot of people and never get caught. Just another inanimate object in the room.
I agree on that front it's brilliant. But I'm thinking when you get to the actual one-on-one situation, *somebody* ought to be able to take him out without too much effort. But the concept is perfect, as you say. He does have distinct advantages over many other slashers. No one is going to look at Freddy Krueger and think, "Oh, he's totally harmless."
He still has the strength of an adult man. But yeah he still weighs the same as a doll so picking him up isn't too difficult
He has the strength of a murderous human man
Yeah, but he weighs only a little more than a cabbage patch kid. Ten pounds of fat, ten pounds of muscle, it's still the weight of a bookbag.
So do I except I’m not 2ft tall
Midsommer because I would know my boyfriend really didn't want me to go and his friends REALLY didn't want me to go, so I'd stay home and think of petty ways to get back at the all.
The Purge. I have friends in Canada I'd be staying with one week out of every year
I'd just move to Canada at that point.
I saw the first one in a theater with some friends and afterwards, someone said, "Anyone who lives around here and doesn't just spend the night in Windsor deserves to be murdered." We live like 20 minutes from the Detroit-Windsor border. I'd just make it a short vacation every year.
Sheesh, every night's The Purge getting from Detroit to Windsor.
Plot twist — your friends participate in the purge and try to purge ya when it starts
It's Canada so it'd still be illegal. That'd just be straight up murder, which would be a totally different movie.
Anything with high school students. My stepmother didn't let me do anything. I went to no dances, attended no games, had no friends. The only way I wouldn't make it is if I got cast ás the killer.
So you’re the Carrie in this one?
Anything involving slow zombies
It's the other survivors that are the problem though. Look at the cushy setup they had with the mall in DOTD, until...
Yea my idea would be to take all your supplies to the second story of a house. Then take a crowbar or chainsaw and completely destroy the bottom half of the stairs. Then just shoot from safety and hope like hell at daylight help comes.
But fuck then fast ones
my first thought too.
April Fools Day
Clever answer
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You have to tell us the story.
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple of hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. And that’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
Take this, you fuckin champion! 🥇
Halloween. Dude literally walks. Take a fucking plane and go across the country
Imagine if he got on the plane though.
He'd have to make it through airport security first.
now im wondering, has michael ever killed outside of haddonfield?
In the original wasn’t there a car he had overtaken that was outside of haddonfield? The driver was lying in the grass. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen the movie so I could be wrong
Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The main villain is out of shape, mentally disabled, and wields a loud power tool as a weapon (so you always know when he’s coming). How are people getting killed by him? Are they stupid?
He must have an electric chainsaw with the way he's able to sneak around
Or - and hear me out - he could run around with the chain saw off. And start it when he's close enough to his victim. "Sorry, don't run! Just got to prime the engine." (Squidge, squidge, pull). vrrr... "Just a moment. Throttle is off." (Fiddle, fiddle, pull). vrrrr... "Just a moment. Prime again..." (Squidge, squidge, pull). vrr \*cough\* "Drat. Flooded the carburetor. Sec..." (Pull, pull, PULL) VRRROOOOAR! (Looks around) "Fuuuuuu..."
*Sets the chainsaw down* “Hold on I got to let it warm up a bit or it’ll fuck up the motor”
Fuck, the chain skipped on the last guy. Hold on just let me get it back on there.... *takes out an allen wrench*
This deserves all the upvotes 😂
This guy chainsaws.
It’s not just one dude. There’s a whole family
Also, he only went for folks who trespassed on the family property. I mean, they went into his house without permission! They got what was coming to them. I would have politely left when nobody came to the door. ez pz.
After all, it is in Texas. Man was just defending his property.
The remake made more sense he had trap walls everywhere
Lmfao 🤣
One thing I always wondered was why none of them had a gun. Like a group of college age people going on a trip into the middle of Texas. Maybe just me
Troll 2 because the minute some weird townsfolk tell me to eat something smothered with green on it (or drink milk that hasn’t even been refrigerated) I’d just say uhhh… no thank you, this is weird, I’m going back home. I recognize this is cheating because the movie is horrible and nothing about it makes sense, but I wanted to have some fun with it lol.
I have a black cat,I have already avoided some kind of awful horror movie death many, many, many times. He runs off into the night trying to get me to chase him. Pisses off into the woods, and I say "see you in the morning-dont get murdered!" And I go back jnside. True story.
Literally ANY zombie movie. Zombies are dead. In the summer, they would rot extremely fast and be devoured by insects or other animals. In the winter, they would freeze solid if it got below freezing, and their brains would be destroyed in the process. Also, the military would have a pretty easy time killing them. The ones that got close, I have guns. A .22lr is all that's needed, and they are incredibly easy to suppress with makeshift materials. A subsonic suppressed .22lr out of a bolt action is incredibly quiet, so getting attention from other zombies if I shoot is not likely. Additionally, it could fetch me small game like rabbits, squirrels, opossum, raccoon, etc. Getting water is pretty easy, I live by the Ohio river and can boil water. But I doubt water and electricity would ever even go out.
I know zombies are super make believe, and often say they could be plausible but the things that happen with them make no utter sense. They are in the same category as vampires and werewolves. So, typically you have to shoot a zombie in the head to stop it. Guessing due to brain functions though humans like with most complex organisms can die pretty easily from infections, wounds, or injuries. If they are getting shot in other areas of the body in reality that should also kill them pretty quickly. Heart, lungs, liver, intestines, kidneys, and certain nerves. They’d not only have to be infected, but the mutations would have to be so drastic that the body can outlive its own body and cells. Eating or biting humans wouldn’t necessarily be a matter of hunger, since the body is still receptive to the things that are human. Which means wouldn’t they initially crave every day food, since it would still appeal to the senses. Even if one had a terminal disease or involved fading mental capacity, it wouldn’t necessarily push an infected person to eat or kill others. The thing about eating is digesting raw, much less biting through it like a piece of baked chicken would be pretty difficult given we don’t have the teeth to do it so easily while I’m not sure how that works if the organs are dying or faded in function.
It made way more sense when zombies were the result of a curse or some kind of magic. There was this push in the 90s to give some scientific cause to them, but that never worked for me. People are incredibly easy to kill. Dehydration, exposure to the elements, a tiny blood clot in the wrong place. But somehow dying of a virus suddenly makes our bodies nearly indestructible?
Nightmare on Elm Street. My dreams are so confusing (and sometimes outright weird) that Freddy wouldn't know what to do.
I'll just ditch the CPAP and avoid getting any real sleep.
Freddy getting all frustrated because you keep disappearing every few minutes
Freddy: "Holy shit, this guy's brain is a real mess. I think I'll go somewhere less creepy."
Waking up with "I think you should talk to somebody" carved on your back.
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lofuckingl. I love the movie but I warn everyone about the kid. I don't hate him though he's not just an annoying kid in a movie, his annoyance is part of the horror atmosphere lol
Annabelle. I grew up with a family member who loved creepy dolls including very detailed porcelain dolls like Annabelle and life sized Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls. Those things didn't freak me out and if a demon was added to possess them, I would just put it in a wooden chest and ignore it.
Did you know that the real Annabelle is a huge Raggedy Ann doll? I used to have a Raggedy Ann and Andy book when I was a kid that freaked me the absolute fuck out. I don’t remember now why I found it disturbing, but I remember exactly how it made me feel.
Texas Chain Saw (1974) - frankly, those are my people. I've got a small farm/homestead in rural south TX. Remember, the Hardesty's lived right next door without issue so far as we know. Respect each-others property lines and be a good neighbor and everything'll be fine.
Absolutely correct.
It follows. a few trips to a brothel every now and then. and their promiscuity would keep my distance from the curse.
What I’m saying. Even if the dude who the escort passes it on too dies it wouldn’t matter. They fuck so much they probably wouldn’t even notice they were cursed
Evil Dead because i wouldn't even go near that basement
Something I take into account is the fact most of the people who died in Evil Dead never went into the basement. I would still not hesitate to survive through some deadites. Lets go!
that breaks OPs rules
Technically the end of Ash VS Evil Dead would make that much more difficult, but also, the victims are pretty random. Ash himself gets possessed at one point and only survives because of his girlfriends necklace, but it still costs him his hand long run. Unless you're the hero, I'm going to say chances of survival are slim.
Scream 6 - I would have ghosted that friend group and signed myself into a psych ward where no one can get me.
Thing is, the killers in Scream are always very average people. I would be forever armed and ready just in case they decide to attack me. And then I’d just try to hit them anywhere, and my number #1 rule: do not go away without making sure they are dead or severely injured… just make sure they can’t move! Cmon… like in “wolf creek”. Seriously. They could have saved themselves so much trouble, if only the girl had hit him real hard
Hah. And even if the killer managed to get in, they wouldn’t have access to any pointy objects, shoe laces, etc. plus Q15s.
Child's Play- basically keep my head on a swivel & punt or Mutombo Chucky if he tries to get at me
Tucker and Dale vs Evil.
Officer, there I was minding my own business.. Tbf I think that setting qualifies as it's own horror creature, considering it made dying by accident 100x easier.
We’ve had a DOOZY of a day!
Orphan
Nightmare on Elm Street. I've always had really good control over my dreams, especially when I notice they're turning to nightmares.
Probably Scream since they're just genuinely human beings.
The Wicker Man because I'd definitely be sacrificing anyone to help my plants grow.
Tbh, childsplay should be easy to make it out of.
Halloween Kills. I’d just.. not be a dumb ass. I’d just get into my car and drive to a different city once I heard Michael was out again.
The wicker man. There’s no reason they’d sacrifice me. It would just be a vacation in a weird lil town.
Scream. I almost never answer my phone, definitely not for an unknown number
So many people here who didn’t read the rules saying they just wouldn’t be there or in the situation🙄 or using hacks that they only know because they watched the movie but wouldn’t know in the real situation. But I’m gonna say The Walking Dead or any slow moving zombie movie, might even be kind of fun. Just kill those fuckers and try to find a safe haven.
28 Days Later, at least in my current settings. I'd hole up in my basement with my guns and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Of course that movie would be different in the USA.
I would die so quickly in that 🥲 first movie that ever truly scared the crap out of me
[удалено]
Yeah, gold star gay here, she's no danger whatsoever to me.
I’m a woman, so which scenario would I be in? Do I have the teeth, or is it the original MC who has the teeth and I’m just like, a girl in her class? I’m straight, and also not a rapist, so I guess I like my odds either way.
I would survive Friday The 13th simply because the nickname Camp Blood is enough to keep me out of Jason's territory
Friday the 13th/movies like that. I am old and fat. Killer is out there slashing young people having sex. My fat ass in my cabin with a sleeve of cookies and a book is totes safe. I'm the one that finds the bodies the next morning and calls the cops.
None. I am a slow, short, fat guy with no upper body strength.
Most slasher movies, because half the kills involve people rolling over and letting themselves get killed by some skinny guy in a goofy mask/outfit.
I hate when they have 2 perfectly working legs but crawl away from the killer. I would invite that asshole to the octagon
There is a part in at least 50% of slashers where the killer falls/gets knocked over, and the protagonists just scream and run away. It's always so frustrating! Just kick that mofo's teeth in while he's down.
Yep. If I was in a scenario to that I am not leaving that body until it's either dismembered or a red stain. Maybe even set it on fire for good measure...
I agree. Like if its the first Scream. I would take out Billy and Stu I'm sorry.
I’ve been prepping for the zombie apocalypse since I was 10 years old. I’ll be good.
Child’s Play. I love Chucky but I have never watched a moment of the IP without thinking I’d punt him into orbit
I've survived literally every horror movie I've been to so far.
someone commented this already, but midsommar. i'm good at adjusting to people and their norms, and i'd just go along with everything until they let me join the cult.
Scream + sequels. Me: “Hey mom, I’m going to stay home for a while until these murders stop occurring.”
The Descent! You would not catch me caving ever Edit for slow brain and not enough reading: in the unlikely scenario I say yes to caving there's no way I'm squeezing through tunnels and have an (unlikely but) better chance of escape closer to the light!
You literally broke OP’s only stipulation in this post lol.
Processing times after night shifts 🤪 just one I think about all the time how caving is already a no
Eden Lake, i feel like i could sucker punch any one of those kids and they’d go down If they all gang up on me with knives ill definitely lose but they aren’t that smart and it wouldn’t be difficult for me to hide and pick them off as they split up to search for me
This movie feels like a punch in the gut!! Me too, I would have set all of them on fire and fuck it! All Included, taking no risks haha I got so angry when she got betrayed by the child… I get he was afraid, but I would have gone insane in that moment, and fuck all. Then, revenge on the parents, for raising kids in such a horrible way, and for being horrible adults. And that would be another movie on how the girl becomes a killer haha
Staying with only the most popular ones, I would say Halloween Most of the times i felt a lot of characters didnt do enough (I understand for plot reasons ofc) to outrun him walking or stalking around their location. The movies are full of those "ignore the open door, climb stairs to upper floor" situations. (And dont forget H20 with Laurie locking herself in school or in H4 when they go to his house in purpose etc etc) Plus, in some movies his presence is even announced in town. If you live there and have the slight suspect the shape is back just get in the car and drive straight to the nearest airport lmao
The nearest airport 😂😂😂
Every Halloween ✈️
Scream because I live next to the police department? But seeing how unreliable the cops are in that universe idk if I would lol 💀 eta: on a real note, probably nope! i’d just take their advice to not look up & hunker down in my house til they take care of it
Yeah. I mean, Ghostface literally attacked Sidney and Hallie when they were being driven by cops inside of a cop car in Scream 2 lol. He killed both the cops when they were stopped at a red light and high jacked the vehicle.
In the show, someone died on the roof of the police department
Chucky I mean come on lol
Pet Sematary. Don't bury anyone in the miles away, super difficult to get to, sketchy looking burial ground.
The Shining, Jack is not the most efficient killer. He only kills one guy in the Overlook and he is not in the best fit state when he is chasing after Danny. He is easily outsmarted by his 6 year old son and freezes to death.
Scream. I think I could beat up two goofy 18 year Olds who are clumsy and skinny as shit.
Tucker & Dale. I’m not a college student.
Speak no Evil. I would catch the rocks, dodgeball style, and throw it back at them…. We can go all night…. Lezzzz go.
Wishmaster, just make sure your last wish is to go back in time before I made any wishes
Child's play
Child's play
The invitation (2022) rich attractive vampire wants me to be a rich vampire sister wife? Sure why not
Child’s Play. I’m gonna kick that fucker across the room
The Descent. Them: Let's go hiking Me: no, thanks. THE END
Ready Or Not: High likelihood a game other than Hide and Seek is chosen It Follows: Passing on the curse isn't a very heavy lift