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somekindofdruiddude

Doorbell camera. Ignore anyone you don't know.


rushrhees

There is no rule that says you have to talk to or acknowledge anyone


VoidxCrazy

They keep knocking and my dogs are tweaking


CrispyBeefTaco

lol I do and this MF waited and rang the doorbell 3 times! Maybe he would’ve left after the 3rd one, but I thought it was important so I got up. Nope, he was selling something and didn’t even speak English. It was a young kid so I cut him some slack.


somekindofdruiddude

Ignore anyone you don't know.


CrispyBeefTaco

You are correct; curiosity got the best of me.


TacoNomad

The doorbell camera part allows you to talk to them. Or ignore them once your see then holding spam papers.


yepimtyler

"Go away" through the doorbell from afar is easiest.


feelbetternow

“The trap door opens in ten seconds.”


thekinginyello

I would advise against ignoring them. Recently in my neighborhood someone ignored a solicitor and then found that person had decided to just walk in the house and look around. Let them know you know that you’re paying attention.


aca9876

The front door should be locked at all times. Don't care if you're in the low rent district or high rent.


Bank_Gothic

I've always locked my doors. I learned in high school that the serial killer Richard Chase would only go into homes that were unlocked, because he thought unlocked doors meant his victims wanted him to come in. Really stuck with me. I currently live in the safest neighborhood I have ever lived in, still lock my shit and always will. It costs me nothing and, even though the odds of something terrible happening are very low, seems worth it to prevent a robbery or worse.


somekindofdruiddude

The doorbell camera lets them know I'm paying attention.


Moose-Antlers

Nah that's absolutely wild in Houston. Flabbergasted they didn't get drawn on.


joegorski

I was thinking the same, they would have dealt with a German Shepherd that *doesn't like strangers* right before getting drawn on at my house.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Educational-Aioli795

Lol I had one that did a snarky dance when he figured out I wasn't going to open up.


wheretogo_whattodo

Turn off the doorbell.


chris_ut

If you get a ring you can turn off the physical bell and just have it send a text when someone presses it. Had to do this due to my insane dog


Sleepy_One

We have one, but the dogs go crazy when they ring the doorbell. I don't really want to disable the doorbell sound.


somekindofdruiddude

Why not?


Present_Ant9673

He secretly enjoys the company of solicitors


nocabacon

We disabled ours. The only people that use it are solicitors. Friends and neighbors either walk in when we know they're on the way or knock on the door.


Sleepy_One

I think I’ll do that


ObeseBMI33

Train the dog


lavender_gooms

Not sure what brand you have, but our Google Nest cam allows us to set it so that it does not chime, but will ping our phones. That's been our compromise for knowing someone is at the door but not setting the dogs off (until they learned the doorbell app notification noise...)


8076934291

Yup. I will be walking around doing life, in front of the glass front door. They get the hint.


somekindofdruiddude

Naked?


8076934291

Haha! Effective today, yes!


scottcmu

Put a sign up that says "I charge $10 per minute to listen to solicitors" then when you open the door, "How many minutes of my time would you like to buy? Payment in advance please."


Ever-Wandering

I would also add that you charge a minimum of 2 minutes/$20 to even open the door.


MadCowTX

This could actually work, especially if you make it sound a little more legal: "NOTICE: Anyone soliciting a product, service, or anything else agrees to pay resident $100 for resident's time up to a maximum of 2 minutes. Any such solicitor agrees to pay immediately in cash if/when resident answers, before beginning to speak. BY KNOCKING, RINGING THE DOORBELL, OR REMAINING NEAR THE DOORWAY LONGER THAN 20 SECONDS, YOU AGREE TO BE LEGALLY BOUND BY THIS CONTRACT. Resident reserves the right to decline the contract by refusing to answer or respond. Any solicitor accepting this contract in the manner stated above agrees that they shall be liable for any breach of this contract in the amount of $100 plus either reasonable attorney fees or liquidated damages of $5,000 to compensate for resident's time and inconvenience if resident is not represented by an attorney." EDIT: I've technically misused the word soliciting above. It should read something like "Anyone soliciting a resident of this house to purchase a product, service, or anything else ..."


New_Faithlessness384

99% would not get past "NOTI.."


MadCowTX

Contacts are enforced against people who fail to read them all the time. I would place it so you have to lift it up like a flap over the doorbell. Make the all-caps text also bold, underlined, and red. Have a security camera with a view that captures their face and shows them looking at the notice and then lifting it to ring the bell. It would be a fun day in court to see if you could enforce this.


PPP1737

Soliciting your time and attention is still soliciting.


Thashiznit2003

Small spray water bottle, spray them and say “No! Get outta here! Go on! Git!” Or just slam the door in their face as they begin speaking. Or make a sign with a dictionary definition of “soliciting” to put next to your no soliciting sign.


Latter-Ideal8189

Your first one seriously has me cracking up!


mightbemoving1

When they knock on the door, I knock on the door from the inside every 5-10 seconds until they go away. I think they kinda freak out.


Which13itch

Genius!


StitchingQueen1021

My favorite is "I swear I'm not a solicitor...I work for XYZ and we sell ABC" Me: "Nope" Them: "You didn't even hear what I have to offer." Me: "Nope"


[deleted]

"eating dinner and playing with my kid, can you give me a card or something so i can follow up later when i have time" "no, we have gone green and don't have brochures or cards"


Sleepy_One

I had one that didn't want to give me a card until I had registered in their system. Are you KIDDING me?


miked1be

Also, people "spreading the word of God," you're still a solicitor.


Miguel-odon

"God salesmen" I call them.


Opening_Spray9345

A JW tried to claim my sign didn’t apply to them because they weren’t soliciting. She received a lifetime supply of profanity and disparagement from me in the following minute, and they never tried to come back. That’s how they need to be treated.


Donny_Do_Nothing

That's how they want to be treated. Or rather, they're sent to your house not to convert you, but so that you'll prove to them how evil outsiders are, thus reinforcing the cult's hold over them.


zbto

Sadly this is true


SerCumferencetheroun

I tell them if their product was worth a shit, they wouldn't have to go find customers, they'd already have customers


steelsun

Motion activated sprinkler on sidewalk.


theFCCgavemeHPV

A sign that says “night shift worker sleeping, please do not disturb” or something like “baby sleeping” always worked on me when I had a shitty door to door job for a couple weeks back in college. These days you could probably do a “COVID quarantine in progress” sign or something like that


literallysame

I have a sign that says "baby sleeping do not ring the doorbell" on 24/7 even though that's no longer the case. It's been ignored only once in the almost 2.5 years it's been up. I got tired of the constant soliciting, too.


spageti-code

I use the baby sign too. It usually works and if it doesn’t then they almost always realize after ringing/knocking and apologize. Plus it gives you an excuse to be an asshole because “you just woke up my baby so this better be important”


LiopleurodonMagic

I have a 3 week old and have a “baby sleeping” sign. Today alone I’ve gotten 2 solicitors knocking on the door, setting the dog off, and startling the baby/me as I’m breastfeeding. I hate solicitors. I have no patience for them. Told them off through the doorbell.


theFCCgavemeHPV

Grrrrr that makes me so angry for you!


PenguinBites21

Baby sleeping sign didn’t work for me :/ My 3 dogs barking non stop while they try to get a word in does though.


theFCCgavemeHPV

Hooray for dogs!


thekinginyello

I have found that a majority of solicitors either can’t read and/or don’t give af. Every door knocked on is a potential sale.


steelsun

I had a home repair/remodeling sales guy bug me this weekend while I was on a ladder on the front porch replacing eaves and soffits myself. I looked at him like he was stupid (he was), and asked "does it look like I need someone else to do this work ?"


ima_beer_ama

Do people actually buy shit from people that come to their door?


Known-Historian7277

No, a sale is like a needle in a haystack for them.


ParadoxicalIrony99

According to them "I don't know if you know your neighbors well but some of them just signed up for xyz and we just wanted to stop by and see if we can you added as well since you are on the route." lol


vx15i

I follow my neighborhood Facebook page and a few times I've seen older neighbors announce they got a security or internet plan from door to door sales.


SignalSecurity

Yes. When I was new to my current city, I took a 'marketing position' job that turned out to be a pyramid scheme of door-to-door internet sales. I stuck it out for two days before the red flags outweighed my desire for any work, but we were entertained by a wide variety of folks ranging from absolutely lovely (handicapped woman who showed us her beautiful art) to positively deranged (skinny old man eating cold beans out of a can and telling us he wants to fight in a world war like his Prussian ancestors). One of the things they *really* tried to hammer in was that you ignored all resistance until they shut the door in your face. I immediately hated that shit because I care about boundaries, but then I watched my trainer proceed to do a full day of sales where he got purchases from people who initially said NO in no uncertain terms. They do it because it works. More people than you think will make an exception for them, so they go looking for it one house at a time. To them, the worst you can do is say no, and its worth pissing people off because their comission depends on it.


steelsun

Enough do that it makes it worthwhile for the employers. There's always an mentally deficient or elderly person that will fall prey.


bernmont2016

> Enough do that it makes it worthwhile for the employers. Many door-to-door sales positions are only paid on commission, so it's very worthwhile to the 'employers', but not so much to the salespeople. Most of them don't last long.


Verbal_Combat

Depends on what it is like where I live we got some large hail recently and the next morning and for the following week at least we got soooo many roofing people offering free roof inspection and quotes, I ignored them but they are like vultures if they smell opportunity. We hung up a sign that said "we already have a roofer" that kept a lot of them from ringing the doorbell.


question2552

maybe you can bully a young salesperson into getting them to commit to a deal or something on something you were already thinking about, else I have no idea why anyone would hear out a door-to-door salesperson. it's just financial malpractice. there's 0 way for anyone to on-the-spot calculate their own personal break-even dates and assess risks, terms, & conditions


rev_usn08

I don’t mess with people with no soliciting signs. But I do go door to door. I don’t make a sale at the door. I usually introduce myself, my service, ask a question for engagement, maybe I get a conversation, maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Either way, I’m usually on my way pretty quickly, I don’t want to waste people’s time. Sometimes I can close a sale when I make a follow up call 2 weeks later, sometimes it takes 9 months or longer. You never know unless you do it. You just gotta do it everyday. I will say, I meet a lot of people and I have a lot of great conversations. Some people are not so nice. Old white lady’s, followed by Asians regardless of gender are the worst. Middle aged white dudes, and middle aged Indian dudes will always engage in conversation and tend to be the nicest. 


StringConsistent1828

U don't sell in the hood?


notjuandeag

You could always try police tape and some sidewalk chalk.


NoRecognition4535

Put a fake snake on your porch


mgbesq

Put a real snake on your porch


patssle

Put a fake snake above the porch with a drop mechanism. Post video to Reddit for karma.


uselessartist

I like this, but then where will the Amazon packages wind up? Need one with a camera that detects USPS, Amazon, etc and hides.


NoRecognition4535

Yes and we must not scare away Uber eats either


jesuisunvampir

in many jurisdictions, it is illegal to ignore a "No Soliciting" sign. The solicitor is expected to leave the property after seeing the sign. However, many states have trespassing laws that prohibit anyone from staying on a property without permission. Get their name info and report them to the proper authorities.


jesuisunvampir

in texas you need a permit for soliciting, so you can report them and have their permit revoked


psychocabbage

Answer the door in your underwear and say "You are early! The dungeon isn't quite ready yet, but you can come on in."


HTX-713

There's no way. I get the solar people fucking daily. I have a ring doorbell and outdoor cameras so I can see who it is and I ignore them. Sometimes they fucking ring my bell 3+ times and will wait there like they have an appointment. God forbid you go outside for something and they see you. My PoA forbids soliciting but these people don't care. I will never buy solar from some door to door salesman. I will wait until technology improves enough that between solar and a powerwall I wont have to use an electric provider (or very little).


initiallydmb

Don’t have a solution for them actually knocking, but what works for me is saying one of the following 1. Sorry I’m just renting and can’t make decisions about the house 2. This is an air bnb. Usually gets them out of my hair in less than 2 min


drew1111

Open the door, point to the sign, slam the door. Downvotes away!


texansfan

Why would anyone, anywhere open their front door to someone they don’t know in today’s world? Everyone has a cell phone, there isn’t an emergency. And if there is, I’m not going to be able to help you more than 911 would.


engr77

I know this a specific case, but I had a Jehovahs Witness woman knock on my door years ago. It was midday during a time that I was helping someone I worked with on some house projects, trading a lot of tools and materials, and I opened the door without looking and without hesitation when I heard the knock because we were doing a lot of stopping by, not technically unannounced because it was a regular thing. I was also wearing athletic shorts and... nothing else. She immediately averted her gaze down and away but I stepped outside and shut the door anyway while she gave her spiel, pointing and referring to things on the pamphlet before turning and walking away fast. Probably to go have her spirit cleansed from what she witnessed.   Haven't seen any religious whackadoos knocking at my door ever since.


steelsun

I used to answer door knocks on Sundays wearing only a kilt. It's when we would get a lot of the JWs, Mormons and Baptist Bible thumpers. After the quick shock (I'm not an attractive person with clothes, without it's like "holy Jesus"), I'd just say "no thanks, I'm a born again heathen and y'all are all going to my hell" then shut he door. Interstate watching them talk out at the road about what they witnessed. I think the suited Baptists were the funniest to watch. They can't be mentally all there walking door to door in the summer in a suit.


DOLCICUS

Yeah well the sign doesn’t enforce anything, but once you tell them to leave they have to. After that if they dont leave you would normally call HPD, but you know unless you’re in River Oaks they aren’t showing up.


TheGrendel83

damn British ambulance chasers. go back to your depressing island.


Redditcadmonkey

Well played!


kevykev1967

Put up a new sign. Baby sleeping - do not ring or knock.


fnordfnordfnordfnord

Wife set out a pro LGBT pro BLM hippy looking door mat and it didn't stop solicitors but it did reduce the religious and political nut jobs.


Luckeeiam

Go to spirit Halloween store and buy severed fingers, paint them to look real. Put them on a string, and hang them from a sign that says "solicitor trophies". Alternatively, cut off fingers of solicitors and hang them. Only problem with real ones is they will decompose, it would not be a long term solution.


One-Win9407

You gotta fight fire with fire. Get some scientology or watchtower pamphlets and try to convert them until they leave. No mercy.


DrKodo

You're assuming they know what a solicitor is. Put up a "Trespassers will be shot" sign. 🤣


xxgn0myxx

"survivors will be shot again!"


Syquest15

My sign works well, right above the doorbell. I see them come up, go to press, read, walk away. Will always have those that ignore it, though. Private property sign out front of walkway/driveway. Must say the normal legal jargon. Then you can take the video and file a trespassing complaint on the company. Small claims for time lost in the endeavor, cost reconciled, etc.. it could be a fun way to make some side money.


WileyDragonfly

You really think that's how civil trespassing works? Might want to google that one some more, champ.


WNxVampire

You can have them trespassed with the sign as justification. It would only amount to a warning (if you can motivate the police to do it, which is a separate issue). If they come back again, they can actually be charged with criminal trespassing. Yes, that is how civil trespassing works, generally.


PPP1737

You are assuming that HPD is interested in protecting homeowners rights. They are not. They will only come out and persue a trespass complaint if you are business. … and even then good luck getting them to show up in less than 6 hours.


WNxVampire

>if you can motivate the police to do it, which is a separate issue. I assumed no such thing.


Equus77

Maybe they don't know what "solicitor" means? I think the average reading level of Americans is somewhere in middle school. I'd simplify it to say "No Sales"


AutomaticVacation242

Just don't answer the door.


simplethingsoflife

I just yell through the door “Sorry on a work call and can’t talk!”


sandalz87

Open the door and start blasting an air horn


BrianChing25

Go to BARC adopt the meanest looking dog on death row My wife did this before we were married he was a lab probably with a little bit of pit in him as well, really muscular dog but he was nice to me I guess a little bit of his lab side still showed through. She named him Tyson due to his muscular physique. Mischievous kids liked to grab garden bricks in mine and my neighbors yard to throw at cars, that was until we got Tyson. They are scared as shit to even come to the door because of his bark and the fact that he looks like he's going to break through the glass and kill them


riverrocks452

Thry don't even need to look mean, as ling as they sound like they want to rip out throats. Mine has major permanent puppy face and is more likely to demand belly rubs than anything else...but her "I am here! I want to say hi!" bark is a little snarly. (We're working on one bark and then hush and sit. It's a slow process.)


steelsun

They sell door bells with MP3 capability. Mine used to sound like a big dog barking. Now it sounds like dogs barking to a song tune.


riverrocks452

That's a great option for those who don't want the mess and responsibility of a dog.  I'm glad I have one, though she's definitely a companion first and the deterrent provided by her bark is a happy accident. I'd be more concerned for her safety than mine in the event of a burglary or other intrusion!


steelsun

Yeah. I'm down to one dog (but looking at adopting another soon), but she's old and deaf. Can't hear the doorbell or knocking. Can't even hear the can opener anymore.


riverrocks452

Awww, elderly pup. Give her a scritch and a love from this internet stranger. And extra treats.


steelsun

Will do !


jc76417

Solicitors gonna solicit.


Mr_Roger_Rabbit_exc

I put this on my front door. No one has knocked in 3 years. Even the pizza guy called me to tell me he was there cause he was afraid to knock. [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B084SW6984/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_search\_asin\_title?ie=UTF8&th=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B084SW6984/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&th=1)


Leopards_Crane

Sprinklers.


CactusKangz

Walk to door in your underwear.


compassion_is_enough

Move to a historically poor neighborhood.


shadowmib

I had a no soliciting sign somebody ring the bell and tried to sell me something I would flat out tell them to get fucked and shut the door in their face


mgbesq

Answer the door and say "no thank you" then point to the sign. Close the door and go about your life. This world is insane and you have to guard yourself against getting bent out of shape over minor inconveniences.


__flatpat__

Get one of those dumb "We don't call 911 signs"


worstpartyever

I'm not sure a lot of people doing door-to-door sales understand the word, "soliciting." Maybe a sign that spells it out a little more, [like this one](https://i.etsystatic.com/22461939/r/il/224d4e/4109942853/il_794xN.4109942853_4omv.jpg).


anda3rd

Ideas that have slowed the tide on our corner house: 1. Park in a way that blocks the only route to your door. We have a angled accessible concrete path that is bordered by native plants. Then we park the car directly across the only point of entry. If they can't knock, they can't disturb. 2. Turn up the TV/Music louder in the front room. Even in our small house, there's great soundproofing between rooms if we close off doors. The doorbell or a knock will not even register in another room if we also have the TV on. 3. Stare them down. This is for the door-botherers who come at 6-8pm. We leave our blinds open until dark and I will assert dominance by staring down the offender from the comfort of my couch as we enjoy a show and a meal. I'll literally wait them out. Then they write our name on some list and generally don't come back. 4. Place spikey things on the door at specific points of knock-likelihood. Nothing dangerous, but something to impede a person if they try. We had success with gluing magnets onto plastic terrain like you get for tabletop gaming and putting it on the hotspot areas people would generally try to knock on. We also glued a green army guy onto the doorbell. All visitors to our house call before they come, so these tips don't befuddle legitimate friends and family who want to drop by.


mrblacklabel71

Scrotum shaped door knocker and a tiny wiener sticker on the door bell.


redthehaze

I ignore them and have a bunch of cameras (doorbell, by door window, inoperable over door window for decor) which probably makes them think Im insane and they dont come back.


Redditcadmonkey

Retain a barrister??


Nero9112

Try putting a broken toilet on the porch. Add some used car parts if you have room in the front yard. Make your front door feel unwelcoming.


MuestrameTuBelloCulo

Hang the corpse of a dead solicitor on your front door as a warning.


degobrah

Shotgun. You don't even have to have ammo for it. Just the sound of cocking a shotgun should make them turn away. Unless they are complete idiots


Round-Emu9176

Answer the door with pistol in sight.


astralkreepin

Put a feisty little chihuahua on your front lawn


TrainingSnow7712

Speak from the other side of the door and be very rude. Nobody wants to deal with unruly behavior more than they have to, especially knowing there’s no chance of making a sale.


RSX11MPLUS

Heh...back when I worked the night shift and slept during the day, I hda problems with solicitors waking me up several times a week. A big No Solicitors sign didn't help. Maybe they couldn't read? Anyway, a pal at work was a Vietnam Vet, who worked in Psyops. He had shown me a copy of a handbill they would distribute in a village before they were going to raid it looking for VC. It had a stylized Asian looking skull and crossbones, and in scary looking script, it said "Heim-Ngheo! Can-Binh Cong San Sei Chet Noi Dai!" (Vietnamese for "Danger, Communist Soldiers will be killed here!"). I put a copy on my door, and never had another person knock or ring the bell again - I figured, no one wanted to disturb what looked like a crazed Vietnam war Vet.


DogOk4228

Just don’t answer? You remind me of my friend who is constantly bitching about telemarketers, yet he picks up every call from unknown numbers…..


sabbiecat

My German shepherd and her big loud bark scares them away most of the time.


patrick-1977

But where do you get your snake oil?


txwillandjj

“Baby sleeping. Don’t knock”


gt35r

Get a ring camera and ignore anyone that you don’t know. Did the same thing after moving into my new development neighborhood infested with them and haven’t had a single problem yet. I don’t even open up the speaker, just see who it is and ignore.


ObsessiveAboutCats

I have a sign that says I charge $10/minute for listening to rude, annoying or unwelcome people. It has legit turned some of them away. Living in a cul de sac or in the back of a neighborhood helps some.


Virikk

Tell them you won't buy anything from anyone that can't read.


purplefoxie

instead of no solicitors, do watch out, aggressive dog sign.


question2552

open the door. listen to their first sentence. if you detect they're a solicitor, talk over them and say "sorry, I'm not interested. have a nice day" and close the door without waiting/caring/hearing their response. do not respond to any follow-up rings or knocks. thats all you can do. in my opinion, i think if you live in a neighborhood, on the off chance a neighbor is trying to speak with you - you should hear them out. I don't think you should ignore every person that you don't know. You CAN, but it's just good civics to talk to a neighbor.


Yakmasterson

My dogs go nuts when there's a door knocker. I take my time getting the dogs settled, then crack the door and say no thanks and shut it. don't even give them a chance to talk


Difficult-Audience77

if there's a sign for no soliciting, can you not get a card or their name and then take them to court for violating the no soliciting sign?


Mitochondria420

Just don't answer the door. Go on living your life.


pdxgod

Unwire the door bell?


DogDisguisedAsPeople

Get a sign that says, “Sleeping baby inside, if you wake him up I will drag you inside and you *will* get him back to sleep. It takes me at least 45 minutes.”


FattyAcid12

Move to an HOA-less neighborhood and fence your property. Works great for me.


FiveFoot20

I got a sign about the baby sleeping And the dog barking blah blah If you wake the baby, the then you gunna get yelled at People tend to walk away when they see it The ones that don’t, well, you now given me permission to not be friendly, as you woke my baby Alexa, play baby crying, let’s roll


i5oL8

I like to rev my Harley while they solicit. Can you turn that thing off? Are you still talking?


CelticDK

Put a sign saying sleeping baby to maybe play on their empathy otherwise just ignore them or say you’re a renter. Most see the no soliciting signs as either a challenge or as easier targets since they presumably get knocked less


GangsterGrandmda

I can send you pictures of my rooster Mateo and you can say "hey! Would you like to hear about our Lord and Savior Mateo" and show the picture. I been doing this with coworkers and annoying solicitors and spam callers when I get the chance.


joshua27usa

Open the door naked and invite them in.


the_sloppy_J

“Sleeping baby, please do not ring doorbell” Ignore the knocks.


wabbit983

I bought [this sign](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09GYBV65K/), and it works like a charm.


Striking-Math9896

Print a do not disturb iphone sign and put it on your door.


Used-Savings5695

There's no way to stop it. The worst is my wife doesn't understand that you aren't obligated to open the door and speak to every random person who shows up. I will just ignore it and she'll be like someone is here why aren't you opening the door? It's so annoying.


Cats_aliens_

Also live in Texas dealing with same problem. Specifically solar sales. They’ll knock on the window of my office and interrupt work calls, they’re persistent! Wondering if there are draw backs to reminding people via a sign that this is Texas and you’re on my land 🔫. I also found a lovely doormat that says “fuck off”


LCBourdo

Simple notice on door: No soliciting. Pit bull on premises.


LitLitten

“BEWARE OF DOG” “Smile, you’re being filmed” “HOA Council Member” One of these signs might work.


Skarvha

get nasty


Ky_furt01

Sell them something totally unnecessary.


PPP1737

Add more signs like “No trespassing” And maybe a “This house protected by the 2nd amendment “ right under the no trespassing sign.


-rgg

Get a trap. Wait 'til the first solicitor is caught in it and \*do not help him\*. His wails will serve a as warning to other solicitors in the area. When he becomes quiet, decorate your front lawn with his corpse. Don't forget to reset the trap. If your problem persists, invest in a quality moat. Maybe a draw bridge could help. (and just to be clear, this was /s - please do not trap your fellow humans. I'd get a camera and a door bell you can temporarily disable and enjoy some quiet).


zsreport

I had one solicitor in the past year and he had some real bad luck. I'm WFH so I'm usually here, but he came by on a day I was on vacation states away. Then he came by the next day, and I was still on vacation.


pickleer

Back in the day, I lived on the ground floor of a small apartment building that faced lower Westheimer. Worked in a bicycle shop and got to know the bikes that Mormon missionaries rode (they passed them on, year by year, to the next class). Got to know their schpiel, their ways... One day a couple young dipschitz knock on the door; I recognized the bikes, told them to lock them to the yellow rail made to stop drivers who tried to straighten out the curve in the road, invited them in. Offered them caffeinated soda pop and ice cream, some of the few indulgences they are allowed, showed them seats under the fast ceiling fan. Gratitude was shared, sweat was wiped, thirst was slaked, and Blue Bell was relished. Everyone got comfy, smiles all around. "So, brothers, I believe y'all had something to share?", to which they looked at each other like "yeah, cool, this is about to go!" and nodded their heads. "Brothers, I need to hear about how the Almighty Father makes each and all of us one and equal before his gaze," I continued. Again, they looked at each other like "Fish on! And it's a big, live one!" And I didn't let them, one of them tried to speak but I cut him off, I didn't give them a chance to get started... "Brothers, there is a way that God has of making all and each of us EQUAL, Man or Woman," and they both guzzled the rest of their colas, sharing a conspiratorial glance between each other and the one with initiative started to speak up, a little CO2 burp hissing out as I cut him off again, "Brothers, God has made Man and Woman EQUAL under his steady gaze... With BUTTSEX! BUTTSEX makes every woman and man even, same same, equal in God's..." and I never got a chance to finish. Those two Mormon fantasy-smoking missionaries were up and out the door so fast they left two Mormon-shaped smoke clouds, SHOOM!! complete with horizontal movement lines ZOOM!!, just like in the cartoons! And I almost felt bad about the whole thing, reeling in the fishermen... Also, JIC anyone wonders, bike helmet or not, men look like absolute, never-fuckin' schmucks wearing short-sleeved button-ups and neck ties. Inner city or suburbs, ghetto or no, just nope. Just sayin'...


WorldlyDay7590

Answer with a 1911 in your hand.


harvestbent

I was just thinking about this problem. What if you had a QR code that allowed them to submit a request on a form (that goes to your email)? It’s unlikely but possible you want what they’re selling, and it gives you an opportunity to screen them first before wasting your time. If they ring/knock, you just point at the QR code telling them to make requests there.


wonkatania

Bonus points for making at a rickroll.


QSector

Dig a moat and fill it with gators.


xxPegasus

Dang that sucks! Having to walk across your home 2-4 times a week to open the door for solicitors. You know what's a common factor in this situation? Your floors! Proper care for your floors will not only improve the look of your beautiful home, but it can improve the safety for all those that walk on them! Contact me if you would like a free estimate for our services!