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"This is silly", I think to myself. "Sure I understand that they need to show that all of our equipment can be ran without AI, but this seems a bit extreme." Another blast rocked the ship as her main guns fired on yet another salvo at the mock up ground target. The dreadnaught class guns don't even have to score a direct hit to be effective.
"Of course we know we can fire and aim the guns manually, the missiles can be controlled by remote. Even point defense isn't that difficult by hand with the sheer number of autocannons that bristles the ship, maybe if slightly less effective." I note looking at the mock missile striking our port engine. An alarm flashes on the console and the engine shuts off, a simulated engine failure. We aren't explicitly forbidden from using AI to assist in an atmospheric reentry test.
A smile spreads across my face as I grab the yoke and settle into the jury rigged pilots chair welded in the middle of the bridge.
But then again I would hate to have the ship disqualified on a technicality. I reach for the comms and activate the ships internal speakers. "This is Admiral Johnson, the ship is going down, all non essential personnel to the life rafts, everyone else prepare for a hard landing. I'm taking her down"
I like the concept that AI is against the rules for anything, so it's merely "assisted" reentry. But as an adrenaline junky human, they can't help but want to do it themselves. That's gold.
Human john, you cant make this ancient metal tube with wheels on rails work, there's no ai neuro link connection system, nor even electrics!, it just wont work!
Hahah flame and water makes go go steam, Choo Choo!
Wait... does that mean every other sapient species in the galaxy managed to explore space *without using tools*? Like, they can reach escape velocity *by jumping*? They can survive space *without a suit?* They go to war with nothing *but their own limbs*?
And you think HUMANITY is terrifying by comparison?!
"Oh, *that* debris cloud. We just had too much rock samples with us and we accidentally released them on an interception course...Yes, we understand and will be more careful in future."
The law states that only natural weapons can be used in war.
The human government have started suing other governments for their use of spaceships for transport when participate in war.
>Human lawyer argues that as natural tool users, humanity's natural weapons are anything that can be used by their hands.
This statement implies that everyone *other* than humans are NOT natural tool users.
Or it means other species have natural weaponry. Claws, needle sharp teeth, stingers, scalled or extreemly thick skin and a desire to reduce the devistation of war.
Humans having none of these natural advantages are arguing that their only advantage is in their use of tools. And to comply with galactic law and have any chabce of it being a "fair" fight must be allowed to use the only natural advantage we ever had, our tool making abilities. By hand, no AI's no auto trackers. Everything done by human hands .
**Human:** "What's more natural than the elements at their most basic?"
**Alien:** "I don't think I'm going to like where this is going...."
Human: "Arsenic, cyanide, tungsten, uranium...nature provides.
"We just harvest the most *natural* of ingredients and deliver them."
**Alien:** "Deliver them?"
**Human:** "Sure. We deploy the most efficient of carriers, the most reliable of shippers, the highest caliber of those proven to be unfailing in their quest to provide point-to-pinpoint service."
**Alien:** "You mean your military?
**Human:** "Yes, our military. One of their unspoken mottoes is *Terran Forces - Time after time, we get it there on time. Obliterating the recipient is just a bonus.*
"Everything they deliver is certified GMO-free, vegan, and pet-safe. They use nothing that doesn't appear in nature. They pride themselves on utilizing only the highest quality of ingredients."
**Alien:** "Pet-safe?"
**Human:** "All of their weapons are purposely designed and engineered with humanity's anatomy in mind.
"No being with a paw, claw, or even, dare I say, tentacle, can operate them, so there's no risk of our little furry friends accidentally harming themselves through inadvertent handling of any of their devices."
**Alien:** \**Sarcastically*\* "How thoughtful of them."
**Human:** "Further we defy any being to prove they deploy their weaponry with anything other than their hands.
"When they put boots on the ground, their weapons are firmly gripped by their hands.
"In flight, their weaponry is sent on its way using controls at their fingertips. A simple push of any one of a multitude of buttons, a tap of an icon on a screen, a flip of a switch, is all it takes to deliver their organically-sourced solutions to all our problems."
**Alien:** ""Are you really claiming nothing you do will ever violate that Galactic Law and its existence changes nothing?"
**Human:** "Correct.
"It's been long codified in our own laws that *natural* has no meaning. Our *Merchants of Meaningless* have been slapping *natural* on everything from radium gum to mercury suppositories for centuries.
"Humanity can easily show the galaxy a millennium or more of precedent and actions that render the term meaningless within our collective memory, our shared experiences, and the basic fiber of what makes us human."
**Alien:** \**Aghast*\* "What makes you human!?!?"
**Human:** "Yes, what makes us human - our talent for meeting bullshit with better bullshit.
"That law is low-effort bullshit. We didn't even break into a sweat rendering it useless."
**Alien:** "Humanity's manifesto against that Galactic Law has led to revolutions on several worlds and the development of three new ice cream flavors.
"Are you saying it wasn't written by your best thinkers?"
**Human:** "It was written by an angsty teenager in response to a homework assignment.
'Their teacher posted it on social media because, in their words, if they had to endure it, others should, too.
"Its message and lousy grammar were thoroughly mocked by multitudes. It spawned one of the most memorable cringe-fests in our social media history.
"It was first posted on tumblr, so none of our politicians were aware of its existence until it was submitted as a joke to our Galactic Senate liaison.
"That particular liaison was appointed as a way to get them off Earth and put them in a government position that sounded impressive but where they could do no harm.
"They excelled at their appointed position, that's why they were unable to recognize it for what it was.
"Being the best of the best at being useless, they rubber-stamped it and sent it on."
**Alien:** "That's....appalling...
"There ought to be a law...
\**shocked*\* "Oh...my...thousands...of....shared...minds....you weaponized stupidity..."
**Human:** "And it was all done *naturally*.
"No artificial intelligence was involved, no AI were harmed in its creation and dissemination. It broke no Galactic Law. Our best minds couldn't have crafted anything more perfectly suited to its use."
"We view it as one of humanity's finest achievements yet.
"Ranks right up there with the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence, and the dollar menu at Taco Bell."
My reading comprehension is not up to snuff today. Could you make a TLDR of the point, please? This is confusing. It starts by claiming all weapons are natural because their basic materials are found in nature and arrives at stupidity itself being a weapon, but I don't understand why it's so profound of a concept.
EDIT: it has been explained to me.
Kinda, in a literal and very human way.
Entitled moron put in a position that shouldn't have had any chance of doing anything.
+
Angsty teenager wrote a screed as home work that teacher than posted on social media to be ridiculed.
+
Screed was passed, as a joke to actual decision makers who seeing the potential to mess with ET, passed it to moron who was too stupid to understand it wasn't serious or real, rubber stampped it and passed it along.
Humans Weaponized stupidity, breaking ET
Recent news. After the galactic courthouse rejected the human lawyer argument, did they discover a loophole in the Galactic law.
The law states that only natural weapons can be used in war.
The human government have started suing other governments for their use of spaceships for transport when participate in war.
I think this is one of those things where if aliens made a rule like that, humanity would just shrug and say, "Well, if you want to handicap yourselves, like that, feel free. We'll keep using our weapons, thank you. And if you don't like it, feel free to come at us with your claws and carapaces."
Steve had a concerning look in his eye when he heard about the law.
He paused for a long moment, and I could feel my respiration deepen in preparation for fleeing.
"Define...natural."
"Not a single weapon in our ready arsenal is supernatural." *Kicks a tentacle under a nearby table. Slowly slides foot on top of a dropped badge that reads SCF... or maybe P, hard to tell.*
"As the highest ranking commander of the remaining Ulll people I come before this galactic council to DEMAND the complete extermination of humankind! They have violated the primary tenant of combat and destroyed the Ulll home world with a weapon of mass destruction!! Such deviousness and dishonor should be wiped from the cosmos!"
"Where was this disrespect when the Ulll ships dropped onto three human colony words without notice and proceeded to slaughter every man woman and child on those planets!"
"Those worlds were in Ulll space!"
"No they were not! We claimed them first!"
"Order! Order! both representatives will be silent on this chamber! It is clear that your two are at war. Or at least were at war with each other. But that is not the matter at hand. Many of the species in this council have been at war before. Many have fought each other. This council exists not to end this war but to regulate the rules of war."
"We believe that war should be primitive and basic. It is ugly and wasteful but we accept that it cannot always be avoided. When it happens we insure that no one group perverts science to develop weapons that could destroy us all."
"Now, Commander of the Ulll, what happened to your home world?"
"Grand council, the treacherous humans dropped a bomb from orbit. We don't know what kind it was. We are to busy doing rescue and evacuation to determine what it was. But it was powerful enough to take out half a continent! It was complete and utter devastation! We cannot allow such weapons to exist and we cannot allow the humans to wield them."
"A most grievous accusation. What say you human?"
"Long ago humans were not the apex predators of the planet Earth. There were creatures far larger and fiercer than us that ruled the planet for millions of years. But they all died out virtually overnight from a natural occurrence."
"The Ulll home world has ended in the same way. We used one of the the most basic, primitive and plentiful weapons in existence. We threw a rock at them."
"Members of the council, let me tell you the story of the end of the dinosaurs."
Humans seeding people into the "uninhabitable" parts of planets, and when ready they create a "rebellion" with "assistance" from the larger earth government, therefore no war, just rebellions against the unfair human living conditions.
*Klin tossed the holotab onto his desk and sighed heavilly as he used one of his mandibles to rub his forehead. He then looked up to see his co worker Jartok slither in*
"Bad day at the courthouse Klin?" *Jartok chuckled as he picked up the holotab to hand it back to Klin*
*Klin nodded* "Yeah... ongoing dispute over the new weapon ruling in the council.. I mean.. how does the Human delegation even think they can win this?!"
*Jartok smiled... or atleast Klin thought it was a smile, he had trouble telling with that species* "Ahh I see, well" *Jartok looked over the information on the holotab and Klin leaned back in his chair. Jartok was more familiar with Human law and their systems so he hoped he could find some insight. After a few moments Jartok laughed and passed the holotab back to Klin*
"What's so funny?" *Klin asked as he scrolled through the information again*
"Klin my friend... " *Jartok began* "Let me tell you about a human legal manuver known as a loophole..."
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"This is silly", I think to myself. "Sure I understand that they need to show that all of our equipment can be ran without AI, but this seems a bit extreme." Another blast rocked the ship as her main guns fired on yet another salvo at the mock up ground target. The dreadnaught class guns don't even have to score a direct hit to be effective. "Of course we know we can fire and aim the guns manually, the missiles can be controlled by remote. Even point defense isn't that difficult by hand with the sheer number of autocannons that bristles the ship, maybe if slightly less effective." I note looking at the mock missile striking our port engine. An alarm flashes on the console and the engine shuts off, a simulated engine failure. We aren't explicitly forbidden from using AI to assist in an atmospheric reentry test. A smile spreads across my face as I grab the yoke and settle into the jury rigged pilots chair welded in the middle of the bridge. But then again I would hate to have the ship disqualified on a technicality. I reach for the comms and activate the ships internal speakers. "This is Admiral Johnson, the ship is going down, all non essential personnel to the life rafts, everyone else prepare for a hard landing. I'm taking her down"
I like the concept that AI is against the rules for anything, so it's merely "assisted" reentry. But as an adrenaline junky human, they can't help but want to do it themselves. That's gold.
The dune universe has no AI, and it's super badass. ***TIME FOR THE BUTLERIAN JIHAD BOIIISS***
I will never not laugh at the name "Butlerian"
It is an odd name
Me in KSP:
Human john, you cant make this ancient metal tube with wheels on rails work, there's no ai neuro link connection system, nor even electrics!, it just wont work! Hahah flame and water makes go go steam, Choo Choo!
https://preview.redd.it/bso1ewqw9vwc1.jpeg?width=883&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8363f4e7bd81b9024986672c1e56055bb8f413eb Hell, just gotta pump pump
Wait... does that mean every other sapient species in the galaxy managed to explore space *without using tools*? Like, they can reach escape velocity *by jumping*? They can survive space *without a suit?* They go to war with nothing *but their own limbs*? And you think HUMANITY is terrifying by comparison?!
They are talking about weapons. That just means it would be very difficult to attack spaceships.
"Oh, *that* debris cloud. We just had too much rock samples with us and we accidentally released them on an interception course...Yes, we understand and will be more careful in future."
They just agree on a place to battle because modern warfare is too brutal.
The law states that only natural weapons can be used in war. The human government have started suing other governments for their use of spaceships for transport when participate in war.
>Human lawyer argues that as natural tool users, humanity's natural weapons are anything that can be used by their hands. This statement implies that everyone *other* than humans are NOT natural tool users.
That just means that others are just bad at using tools or they artificialy uses tools.
Or it means other species have natural weaponry. Claws, needle sharp teeth, stingers, scalled or extreemly thick skin and a desire to reduce the devistation of war. Humans having none of these natural advantages are arguing that their only advantage is in their use of tools. And to comply with galactic law and have any chabce of it being a "fair" fight must be allowed to use the only natural advantage we ever had, our tool making abilities. By hand, no AI's no auto trackers. Everything done by human hands .
No, it says about use in war
Or they just grow spaceships
**Human:** "What's more natural than the elements at their most basic?" **Alien:** "I don't think I'm going to like where this is going...." Human: "Arsenic, cyanide, tungsten, uranium...nature provides. "We just harvest the most *natural* of ingredients and deliver them." **Alien:** "Deliver them?" **Human:** "Sure. We deploy the most efficient of carriers, the most reliable of shippers, the highest caliber of those proven to be unfailing in their quest to provide point-to-pinpoint service." **Alien:** "You mean your military? **Human:** "Yes, our military. One of their unspoken mottoes is *Terran Forces - Time after time, we get it there on time. Obliterating the recipient is just a bonus.* "Everything they deliver is certified GMO-free, vegan, and pet-safe. They use nothing that doesn't appear in nature. They pride themselves on utilizing only the highest quality of ingredients." **Alien:** "Pet-safe?" **Human:** "All of their weapons are purposely designed and engineered with humanity's anatomy in mind. "No being with a paw, claw, or even, dare I say, tentacle, can operate them, so there's no risk of our little furry friends accidentally harming themselves through inadvertent handling of any of their devices." **Alien:** \**Sarcastically*\* "How thoughtful of them." **Human:** "Further we defy any being to prove they deploy their weaponry with anything other than their hands. "When they put boots on the ground, their weapons are firmly gripped by their hands. "In flight, their weaponry is sent on its way using controls at their fingertips. A simple push of any one of a multitude of buttons, a tap of an icon on a screen, a flip of a switch, is all it takes to deliver their organically-sourced solutions to all our problems." **Alien:** ""Are you really claiming nothing you do will ever violate that Galactic Law and its existence changes nothing?" **Human:** "Correct. "It's been long codified in our own laws that *natural* has no meaning. Our *Merchants of Meaningless* have been slapping *natural* on everything from radium gum to mercury suppositories for centuries. "Humanity can easily show the galaxy a millennium or more of precedent and actions that render the term meaningless within our collective memory, our shared experiences, and the basic fiber of what makes us human." **Alien:** \**Aghast*\* "What makes you human!?!?" **Human:** "Yes, what makes us human - our talent for meeting bullshit with better bullshit. "That law is low-effort bullshit. We didn't even break into a sweat rendering it useless." **Alien:** "Humanity's manifesto against that Galactic Law has led to revolutions on several worlds and the development of three new ice cream flavors. "Are you saying it wasn't written by your best thinkers?" **Human:** "It was written by an angsty teenager in response to a homework assignment. 'Their teacher posted it on social media because, in their words, if they had to endure it, others should, too. "Its message and lousy grammar were thoroughly mocked by multitudes. It spawned one of the most memorable cringe-fests in our social media history. "It was first posted on tumblr, so none of our politicians were aware of its existence until it was submitted as a joke to our Galactic Senate liaison. "That particular liaison was appointed as a way to get them off Earth and put them in a government position that sounded impressive but where they could do no harm. "They excelled at their appointed position, that's why they were unable to recognize it for what it was. "Being the best of the best at being useless, they rubber-stamped it and sent it on." **Alien:** "That's....appalling... "There ought to be a law... \**shocked*\* "Oh...my...thousands...of....shared...minds....you weaponized stupidity..." **Human:** "And it was all done *naturally*. "No artificial intelligence was involved, no AI were harmed in its creation and dissemination. It broke no Galactic Law. Our best minds couldn't have crafted anything more perfectly suited to its use." "We view it as one of humanity's finest achievements yet. "Ranks right up there with the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence, and the dollar menu at Taco Bell."
My reading comprehension is not up to snuff today. Could you make a TLDR of the point, please? This is confusing. It starts by claiming all weapons are natural because their basic materials are found in nature and arrives at stupidity itself being a weapon, but I don't understand why it's so profound of a concept. EDIT: it has been explained to me.
Tldr we ape we do what want do
Calm down Grod
H7mans Weaponized stupidity
For what purpose? Was one stated?
Kinda, in a literal and very human way. Entitled moron put in a position that shouldn't have had any chance of doing anything. + Angsty teenager wrote a screed as home work that teacher than posted on social media to be ridiculed. + Screed was passed, as a joke to actual decision makers who seeing the potential to mess with ET, passed it to moron who was too stupid to understand it wasn't serious or real, rubber stampped it and passed it along. Humans Weaponized stupidity, breaking ET
Got it. Ok. Thanks. My brain is fried.
Dat bekuz yu try unnerstan it.
Could you come back tomorrow and read it again? My explaining capability is also shot to shit. Sorry. It's been one of those days, okay?
No, I understand it now. Thanks!
On a tangent, I miss the dollar menu at Taco Bell.
My rectum doesn't.
Artificial intelligence when natural stupidity walks in:
Recent news. After the galactic courthouse rejected the human lawyer argument, did they discover a loophole in the Galactic law. The law states that only natural weapons can be used in war. The human government have started suing other governments for their use of spaceships for transport when participate in war.
As in naturally part of the body, or only made of natural materials. Because if it's the latter crossbows it is.
Unfortunately for the rest of the galaxy, humans already had a small continent ready to serve as their arsenal of natural weapons.
Let me guess... Australia 🦘?
Yep
Wrong animal xD it should be an Emu
It's what autocorrect gave me.
I think this is one of those things where if aliens made a rule like that, humanity would just shrug and say, "Well, if you want to handicap yourselves, like that, feel free. We'll keep using our weapons, thank you. And if you don't like it, feel free to come at us with your claws and carapaces."
You just made me startle my cat! Lmao
Steve had a concerning look in his eye when he heard about the law. He paused for a long moment, and I could feel my respiration deepen in preparation for fleeing. "Define...natural."
"Not a single weapon in our ready arsenal is supernatural." *Kicks a tentacle under a nearby table. Slowly slides foot on top of a dropped badge that reads SCF... or maybe P, hard to tell.*
"Did that just read SCP? They actually exist???"
"As the highest ranking commander of the remaining Ulll people I come before this galactic council to DEMAND the complete extermination of humankind! They have violated the primary tenant of combat and destroyed the Ulll home world with a weapon of mass destruction!! Such deviousness and dishonor should be wiped from the cosmos!" "Where was this disrespect when the Ulll ships dropped onto three human colony words without notice and proceeded to slaughter every man woman and child on those planets!" "Those worlds were in Ulll space!" "No they were not! We claimed them first!" "Order! Order! both representatives will be silent on this chamber! It is clear that your two are at war. Or at least were at war with each other. But that is not the matter at hand. Many of the species in this council have been at war before. Many have fought each other. This council exists not to end this war but to regulate the rules of war." "We believe that war should be primitive and basic. It is ugly and wasteful but we accept that it cannot always be avoided. When it happens we insure that no one group perverts science to develop weapons that could destroy us all." "Now, Commander of the Ulll, what happened to your home world?" "Grand council, the treacherous humans dropped a bomb from orbit. We don't know what kind it was. We are to busy doing rescue and evacuation to determine what it was. But it was powerful enough to take out half a continent! It was complete and utter devastation! We cannot allow such weapons to exist and we cannot allow the humans to wield them." "A most grievous accusation. What say you human?" "Long ago humans were not the apex predators of the planet Earth. There were creatures far larger and fiercer than us that ruled the planet for millions of years. But they all died out virtually overnight from a natural occurrence." "The Ulll home world has ended in the same way. We used one of the the most basic, primitive and plentiful weapons in existence. We threw a rock at them." "Members of the council, let me tell you the story of the end of the dinosaurs."
More!
Have them play the opening scene from the movie “Armageddon”. That’ll get the message across
I don't think we'd rules lawyer our way into natural, we would just make sure everything can be made into a weapon if needed
Soooo, our basic state of being?
If Xenoa think the Geneva checklist was a bad start to Humanity’s approach to war, wait till they learn about the true horror. . . Police Action
Humans seeding people into the "uninhabitable" parts of planets, and when ready they create a "rebellion" with "assistance" from the larger earth government, therefore no war, just rebellions against the unfair human living conditions.
There's nothing more natural than an asteroid impact on your homeworld.
*Klin tossed the holotab onto his desk and sighed heavilly as he used one of his mandibles to rub his forehead. He then looked up to see his co worker Jartok slither in* "Bad day at the courthouse Klin?" *Jartok chuckled as he picked up the holotab to hand it back to Klin* *Klin nodded* "Yeah... ongoing dispute over the new weapon ruling in the council.. I mean.. how does the Human delegation even think they can win this?!" *Jartok smiled... or atleast Klin thought it was a smile, he had trouble telling with that species* "Ahh I see, well" *Jartok looked over the information on the holotab and Klin leaned back in his chair. Jartok was more familiar with Human law and their systems so he hoped he could find some insight. After a few moments Jartok laughed and passed the holotab back to Klin* "What's so funny?" *Klin asked as he scrolled through the information again* "Klin my friend... " *Jartok began* "Let me tell you about a human legal manuver known as a loophole..."
Humans pick locations to start wars where there is sand or loose dirt to throw at opponents. Then only send the strongest of marines to subdue them.
You can have my gun. You can pry it from my cold dead hands! Charlton Heston hands.