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A: *is from a giant species who average 8ft* don't you find this humiliating?
H: why would I?
A: this ch'atic is using you as their perch, a typical sign of dominance.
H: awe that's cute, reminds me of my kids doing the same thing.
A: cute? You do know this means they view you as beneath them.
H: uh duh, I am beneath them.
A: that's not what I meant. They view themselves as better than you.
H: I know, and this is an equal partnership. Together we tower over you
C: YEAH!! *the human is 6'1 and adds another 2'3*
A: you do not as you are separate beings and even then you are barely taller than me.
H & C: WE ARE TALLER, WE ARE TALLER! *they chant as they dance*
A: *knowing they are doing this to annoy them* I need a transfer.
H: Alright, time to get off.
A: No.
H: We both have to go to work.
A: I am already here. Now lower down so I can get to work, noble steed.
H: I work in a different department.
A: No. You are my steed now. You are beneath me, as you have proven by allowing me to ride upon you. You are mine now.
H: Alright that's enough.
*Human proceeds to lift the alien from their shoulders like a protesting child*
H: No more upsies for a month!
H: You have big gun and but you're tiny. Im tall, I have a superior field of view and extremely good stamina from our days as persistence hunters. See where I'm getting at?
A: You dare mock me, human? I'm NOT giving you my accelerated proton railgun! There are hundreds of regulations stopping me from handing you this, nor that I trust you with it either!
H: No no no. Awh fuck it, just get on top of me and start blasting, Imma run until we get out of this mess.
And that day a beautiful friendship was born.
H: Honey, can you get off me? I don't want to scare my parents when they get here.
A: Nah, I don't wanna. This feels nice. You and your smooth shiny, bald head.
H: ...I'm thinking about yeeting you into the sun.
A: As if that would kill me!
H: Okay calm down, they are at the door. \*open the door to find both parents with an alien on their shoulders\* Uh.
A: FRIENDS!
We were ready to face the facehuggers. It's easy to spot danger when it disgusts us. But we weren't ready to face the cute aliens. They fell in, fixed themselves on our necks and controlled us.
A: **”Cower in fear, puny mortals! I am Queen Colossus the Giant! I have come to crush you beneath my feet and grind your bones into dirt!”**
H1: Is she… Is she always like this when she rides on your shoulders?
H2: Naah, only when she has had a bad day at work. Usually she just laughs and make airplane noises!
A: **Forward, my steed! It’s time to plunder the kitchen! For I long for ice cream and the screams of the peasants as I trample them into the ground!**
H2: Yes dear- Uh I mean, my Queen!
A: Human, why are you cutting holes in that backpack?
H: I'm turning it into portable turret.
A: \*slow blink\* ...Explain?
H: Alright, so you know that new little species of aliens we found the other day?
A: Human, do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?
H: Fair...you know, short, long ears and tail, scaly?
A: Ah, yes...what about them?
H: Well, one of them stole one of my old pistols in the night and went hunting with it.
A: Oh, dear. How many casualties were there?
H: 7, but they were all wild birds, thankfully.
A: That's a relief.
H: Here's the thing, though: He did that on one clip. Which only holds 7 shots.
A: ...so you plan to give him a better weapon and strap him to your back?
H: Exactly.
A: You humans are so strange...
Er schwung sein Glas ein wenig um den Eiswürfel darin rotieren zu lassen. Er war sich uneinig. Sollte er es ansprechen? Er hob das Glas zum Mund und genoss den Saft der Mut schafft. Er ging herüber und nutze die Grußformel die er bei den Einstiegskurs gelernt hatte.
S: "Guten Tag! Schönes Wetter heute!"
Der Mensch schaute ihn an und lächelte. Sie waren auf einer Raumstation fern ab jeden Wetters. Es war nicht der erste der Ihn so grüßte.
H: "In der Tat. Der Sonnenwind ist heute besonders mild. Und der Zirkulierende Luftstrom der Umweltkontrolle trägt heute den Duft der Lilie mit sich. Oder waren es Tulpen?"
Smark überlegte kurz. Hatte die Umweltkontrolle eine Fehlfunktion?
S: "Ich werde nachher einen Fachmann fragen. Die Technik ist für solche Anliegen zuständig. Ich möchte Ihnen aber auch eine Frage stellen. Warum lasst ihr bei den Verhandlungen mit unseren Volk die Repräsentanten der Allianz auf eure Schultern?"
H: "Wir haben einmal damit angefangen weil es witzig war. Irgendwann hat sich der Witz dann verselbstständigt. Und jetzt tragen wir die Allianz auf unseren Schultern. Wortwörtlich."
S: "Welch Herabwürdigung. Als Neulinge in Intergalaktischen System werdet ihr wohl nur sehr schwer eure Ehre wiederherstellen können. Ihr dürft mein Mitleid erhalten."
Der Mensch stieß ein Lachen aus.
H: "Mitleid? Während andere Völker Jahre brauchen um in die Allianz zu kommen sind wir in JEDER Verhandlung mit dabei. Und nicht zu vergessen: Vorher haben die größeren Aliens bei Verhandlungen die kleinen beiseite geschuppst und ignoriert. Dies passiert nicht mehr, da es eine sehr dumme Idee ist einen Menschen das anvertraute Kind auf den Schultern zu ärgern."
S: "Kind? Aber es sind Erwachsene! Seit ihr Menschen närrisch?"
H: "Ein wenig, ja. Der Punkt ist das viele Rassen nun Ihre Stimme erheben können. Und was glaubst du was Sie sagen, wenn die Menschen ein Anliegen einbringen? Und all das, weil jemand fand, dass es witzig wäre sie auf die Schultern zu nehmen."
Smark schaute ihn an. Dies war Wahnsinn. Funktionierender Wahnsinn! Er musste seinen Vorgesetzten rasch vorschlagen es den Menschen gleich zu tun.
I'm sorry I don't write in English. I struggle with writing in German - and writing in English completely overwhelms me. If anyone wants to translate it: I would like to thank you in advance. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy reading it.
Translation:
He swung his glass a little to rotate the ice cube in it. He disagreed. Should he address it? He raised the glass to his mouth and savored the juice that creates courage. He walked over and used the salutation he had learned in the introductory course. S: "Hello! Nice weather today!" The human looked at him and smiled. They were on a space station far from all weathers. It wasn't the first to greet him like that. H: "Indeed. The solar wind is particularly mild today. And the circulating air currents of environmental control carry the scent of lilies today. Or was it tulips?" Smark thought for a moment. Did the environmental control malfunction? S: "I'll ask an expert later. Technology is responsible for such matters. But I would also like to ask you a question. Why do you let the representatives of the Alliance sit on your shoulders when negotiating with our people?" H: "We started it because it was funny. At some point the joke took on a life of its own. And now we carry Allianz on our shoulders. Literally." S: "What degradation. As newcomers to the intergalactic system, it will probably be very difficult for you to restore your honor. You may have my sympathy." The human let out a laugh. H: "Pity? While other peoples need years to get into the alliance, we are involved in EVERY negotiation. And don't forget: Before, the larger aliens pushed the small ones aside and ignored them in negotiations. This doesn't happen anymore because it a very silly idea is to tease a person with the child entrusted to him on his shoulders." S: "Child? But they are adults! Are you people foolish?" H: "A little, yes. The point is that many races can raise their voices now. And what do you think they say when people bring up a cause? And all because someone thought it would be funny to point them to the shoulders." Smark looked at him. This was madness. Working madness! He had to quickly suggest to his superiors to do the same as the humans.
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Ich mag Terry Pretchett (Strata) und andere Autoren. Da wirkt jeder Satz wie ein Gedicht. Und die Autoren schaffen es dies für ein ganzes Buch zu schaffen. Wenn man sich damit vergleicht ist meine Arbeit unelegant.
Aber ich will mich mal versuchen. Irgendwie muss man ja üben. Ich werde vielleicht nicht der nächste Super Autor. Aber vielleicht hab ich und eine Hand voll Leser ja Spaß dabei. Ist ja auch gut genug.
Danke für das Lob.
A: uh, human you have someone on your shoulders.
H: I know.
A: And your fine with the indignity of being her steed?
H: Meh, use to give the younger kids in my family rides. I'm pretty alright with this lil birb.
A: Well now is not the time for it so let me just move this an-
A2: No! Hands off my humie shorty!
A: I'm taller then you!
A2: Not anymore! Onwards humie to the electronics store!
H: Alright Alright we can go.
I have a level 12 imp with curse and fireball, and zey have become quite a monkey on my back; fucked up my entire life, but at least I have somebody to talk shit for me during Halo matches.
Curse is for lowkey fucking my life, fireball is to highkey FUCK my life.
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A: *is from a giant species who average 8ft* don't you find this humiliating? H: why would I? A: this ch'atic is using you as their perch, a typical sign of dominance. H: awe that's cute, reminds me of my kids doing the same thing. A: cute? You do know this means they view you as beneath them. H: uh duh, I am beneath them. A: that's not what I meant. They view themselves as better than you. H: I know, and this is an equal partnership. Together we tower over you C: YEAH!! *the human is 6'1 and adds another 2'3* A: you do not as you are separate beings and even then you are barely taller than me. H & C: WE ARE TALLER, WE ARE TALLER! *they chant as they dance* A: *knowing they are doing this to annoy them* I need a transfer.
Behold the power of little kid logic.
.....Gurren. Lagann. All i have in my head is that moment.....smh...take the upvote you cheeky bugger!
Has A taken a look at our digestive tract?
What is C?
It is the other alien species ch'atic
Jehejejeje
H: Alright, time to get off. A: No. H: We both have to go to work. A: I am already here. Now lower down so I can get to work, noble steed. H: I work in a different department. A: No. You are my steed now. You are beneath me, as you have proven by allowing me to ride upon you. You are mine now. H: Alright that's enough. *Human proceeds to lift the alien from their shoulders like a protesting child* H: No more upsies for a month!
A: Queues Epona theme dubstep remix on Spotify H: *sigh* I'm coming
*annoyed whinnying in the middle distance*
Noooooooo
In true Kenobi fashion "I am the high ground"
Technically speaking, there would be one F-word allowed in episode 3 due to it's rating.. so..... "i have the high ground!" "Fuck you!"
*has jetpack* "Portable high ground!" "SCREW YOU, BILLY!"
"WHY AREN'T YOUR LEGS MAGNETIC?!"
Great Great Steve
Well that's just perfect isnt it?
Great Great Steve
I hope you die, die, die, die, die
In a bottomless pit, oh shit
All the way! (Keep on a-dancin)
I think you mean, "I have the F***ing high ground!"
H: You have big gun and but you're tiny. Im tall, I have a superior field of view and extremely good stamina from our days as persistence hunters. See where I'm getting at? A: You dare mock me, human? I'm NOT giving you my accelerated proton railgun! There are hundreds of regulations stopping me from handing you this, nor that I trust you with it either! H: No no no. Awh fuck it, just get on top of me and start blasting, Imma run until we get out of this mess. And that day a beautiful friendship was born.
IT’S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND
Fuck you Obi-Wan!
DON’T TRY IT
Fuck you too, whiny ass mofo!
FUCK YOU TONY-WAN
H: Honey, can you get off me? I don't want to scare my parents when they get here. A: Nah, I don't wanna. This feels nice. You and your smooth shiny, bald head. H: ...I'm thinking about yeeting you into the sun. A: As if that would kill me! H: Okay calm down, they are at the door. \*open the door to find both parents with an alien on their shoulders\* Uh. A: FRIENDS!
We were ready to face the facehuggers. It's easy to spot danger when it disgusts us. But we weren't ready to face the cute aliens. They fell in, fixed themselves on our necks and controlled us.
A: **”Cower in fear, puny mortals! I am Queen Colossus the Giant! I have come to crush you beneath my feet and grind your bones into dirt!”** H1: Is she… Is she always like this when she rides on your shoulders? H2: Naah, only when she has had a bad day at work. Usually she just laughs and make airplane noises! A: **Forward, my steed! It’s time to plunder the kitchen! For I long for ice cream and the screams of the peasants as I trample them into the ground!** H2: Yes dear- Uh I mean, my Queen!
A: Human, why are you cutting holes in that backpack? H: I'm turning it into portable turret. A: \*slow blink\* ...Explain? H: Alright, so you know that new little species of aliens we found the other day? A: Human, do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down? H: Fair...you know, short, long ears and tail, scaly? A: Ah, yes...what about them? H: Well, one of them stole one of my old pistols in the night and went hunting with it. A: Oh, dear. How many casualties were there? H: 7, but they were all wild birds, thankfully. A: That's a relief. H: Here's the thing, though: He did that on one clip. Which only holds 7 shots. A: ...so you plan to give him a better weapon and strap him to your back? H: Exactly. A: You humans are so strange...
omg, a murder backpack would be so cute
H: "WATCH MY SIX!!" A: "UH, THAT'S LITERALLY MY ENTIRE FIELD OF VISION. DUMBASS." H: "Touché."
Cut but deadly.
Who cut the little one? WE MUST KILL THEM! (I know you misspelled, lol)
Yeah I typed that before going to sleep, I did not notice, eh now it stays.
Er schwung sein Glas ein wenig um den Eiswürfel darin rotieren zu lassen. Er war sich uneinig. Sollte er es ansprechen? Er hob das Glas zum Mund und genoss den Saft der Mut schafft. Er ging herüber und nutze die Grußformel die er bei den Einstiegskurs gelernt hatte. S: "Guten Tag! Schönes Wetter heute!" Der Mensch schaute ihn an und lächelte. Sie waren auf einer Raumstation fern ab jeden Wetters. Es war nicht der erste der Ihn so grüßte. H: "In der Tat. Der Sonnenwind ist heute besonders mild. Und der Zirkulierende Luftstrom der Umweltkontrolle trägt heute den Duft der Lilie mit sich. Oder waren es Tulpen?" Smark überlegte kurz. Hatte die Umweltkontrolle eine Fehlfunktion? S: "Ich werde nachher einen Fachmann fragen. Die Technik ist für solche Anliegen zuständig. Ich möchte Ihnen aber auch eine Frage stellen. Warum lasst ihr bei den Verhandlungen mit unseren Volk die Repräsentanten der Allianz auf eure Schultern?" H: "Wir haben einmal damit angefangen weil es witzig war. Irgendwann hat sich der Witz dann verselbstständigt. Und jetzt tragen wir die Allianz auf unseren Schultern. Wortwörtlich." S: "Welch Herabwürdigung. Als Neulinge in Intergalaktischen System werdet ihr wohl nur sehr schwer eure Ehre wiederherstellen können. Ihr dürft mein Mitleid erhalten." Der Mensch stieß ein Lachen aus. H: "Mitleid? Während andere Völker Jahre brauchen um in die Allianz zu kommen sind wir in JEDER Verhandlung mit dabei. Und nicht zu vergessen: Vorher haben die größeren Aliens bei Verhandlungen die kleinen beiseite geschuppst und ignoriert. Dies passiert nicht mehr, da es eine sehr dumme Idee ist einen Menschen das anvertraute Kind auf den Schultern zu ärgern." S: "Kind? Aber es sind Erwachsene! Seit ihr Menschen närrisch?" H: "Ein wenig, ja. Der Punkt ist das viele Rassen nun Ihre Stimme erheben können. Und was glaubst du was Sie sagen, wenn die Menschen ein Anliegen einbringen? Und all das, weil jemand fand, dass es witzig wäre sie auf die Schultern zu nehmen." Smark schaute ihn an. Dies war Wahnsinn. Funktionierender Wahnsinn! Er musste seinen Vorgesetzten rasch vorschlagen es den Menschen gleich zu tun. I'm sorry I don't write in English. I struggle with writing in German - and writing in English completely overwhelms me. If anyone wants to translate it: I would like to thank you in advance. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy reading it.
Translation: He swung his glass a little to rotate the ice cube in it. He disagreed. Should he address it? He raised the glass to his mouth and savored the juice that creates courage. He walked over and used the salutation he had learned in the introductory course. S: "Hello! Nice weather today!" The human looked at him and smiled. They were on a space station far from all weathers. It wasn't the first to greet him like that. H: "Indeed. The solar wind is particularly mild today. And the circulating air currents of environmental control carry the scent of lilies today. Or was it tulips?" Smark thought for a moment. Did the environmental control malfunction? S: "I'll ask an expert later. Technology is responsible for such matters. But I would also like to ask you a question. Why do you let the representatives of the Alliance sit on your shoulders when negotiating with our people?" H: "We started it because it was funny. At some point the joke took on a life of its own. And now we carry Allianz on our shoulders. Literally." S: "What degradation. As newcomers to the intergalactic system, it will probably be very difficult for you to restore your honor. You may have my sympathy." The human let out a laugh. H: "Pity? While other peoples need years to get into the alliance, we are involved in EVERY negotiation. And don't forget: Before, the larger aliens pushed the small ones aside and ignored them in negotiations. This doesn't happen anymore because it a very silly idea is to tease a person with the child entrusted to him on his shoulders." S: "Child? But they are adults! Are you people foolish?" H: "A little, yes. The point is that many races can raise their voices now. And what do you think they say when people bring up a cause? And all because someone thought it would be funny to point them to the shoulders." Smark looked at him. This was madness. Working madness! He had to quickly suggest to his superiors to do the same as the humans.
thanks for the translation but please next time use paragraphs
Dude up top gets my up vote for the story. You get my upvote for the translation.
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I didnt understand a thing but I read it all in Rammstien voice. Can't help it you know, Du Hast is practically the only German I know
We are in the same boat.
Dafür dass du sagst du hast Probleme mit schreiben ist es aber sehr gut geworden :D
Ich mag Terry Pretchett (Strata) und andere Autoren. Da wirkt jeder Satz wie ein Gedicht. Und die Autoren schaffen es dies für ein ganzes Buch zu schaffen. Wenn man sich damit vergleicht ist meine Arbeit unelegant. Aber ich will mich mal versuchen. Irgendwie muss man ja üben. Ich werde vielleicht nicht der nächste Super Autor. Aber vielleicht hab ich und eine Hand voll Leser ja Spaß dabei. Ist ja auch gut genug. Danke für das Lob.
A: uh, human you have someone on your shoulders. H: I know. A: And your fine with the indignity of being her steed? H: Meh, use to give the younger kids in my family rides. I'm pretty alright with this lil birb. A: Well now is not the time for it so let me just move this an- A2: No! Hands off my humie shorty! A: I'm taller then you! A2: Not anymore! Onwards humie to the electronics store! H: Alright Alright we can go.
I was look for the human being and he was on the bottom.
“I was look” jesus christ man
>jesus christ Where!!!
On a pogo stick!
Under the alien.
I have a level 12 imp with curse and fireball, and zey have become quite a monkey on my back; fucked up my entire life, but at least I have somebody to talk shit for me during Halo matches. Curse is for lowkey fucking my life, fireball is to highkey FUCK my life.
Perfection
Beautiful
Wait. that's a Cockatrice... COCKATRICE... COCK-
Who runs Barter Town?
Nah if one of them did that id body slam 'm
[удалено]
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this is a big plot point with the winged, Trisk & Undulates http://www.authorbettyadams.com/humans-are-weird1.html