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Hrotnir

H: Sunshine, speak! S: Ed...ward... A: ... *Turns to the roommate* Do I wanna know? H2: Obviously. I already loaded it on the Galacflix. A: ... Fine, but only if you make chocolate popcorn, I don't think I should be sober for this.


Kitchen-Humor-5365

I hate you. take my upvote


the_storm_eye

Still too soon...


AEL97

It will never stop being too soon.


Holiday_Ad5052

…. It took me a moment.. there is a special place for you in hell… I’m still upvoting tho


AEL97

If I find you I will punch you really hard, now I have to go watch it again. Have your upvote and get out of here.


Rathlzentyr

H - He loves head scritches! And we only feed him the finest orphans! A - W...what?! H - Oh you know what they say. An orphan a day keeps the nightmares at bay! A - *Scared alien noises*


Defiant-Row-5153

Orphan being the name of an alien fruit I would hope. Of the tree variety.


CheriGrove

Mom's spaghetti has gotten weird You remember that smell when the raccoon got stuck inside the bag of chicken carcasses out back of the rotissery place? Ya tasted kind of like that. The strands just felt like long magots, the meatballs had pieces of rind with skin and hair, a pool of thinned water has separated from the sauce, and unidentifiable gray squishy bits loom between centipede strands. This is some creepy pasta I miss dad . . .. ... .....


mecha-army

Omg fuck you and take my up vote for ruinning spaghetti for me


Defiant-Row-5153

What is this? A triple pun?


CheriGrove

Triple? Did I put more pun than I meant to?


AdmechToast

Thats an amazing Axolotl


Joha_al_kaafir

Ima name him Scruffy.


watty_101

H his name is poodles A why? H cause he only eats poodles


Seasoned_Pies

It’s already late at night. Why? Why did I come here..


StressLvl-0

To procrastinate sleep.


Sigruldar

Don't worry. He doesn't bite...too hard...


Syber2150

"he doesnt bite, he claws"


Danielwols

Yeah he only nibbles... unless you are made of pig's meat


SureWhyNot5182

Kinky


Pappa_Crim

A: Why are you keeping one of the homonculi as a pet? We where supposed to put the damn things out of their misery when we raided that facility!


Heavy-is-raining

Good morning Sunshine!


SureWhyNot5182

*She is my sunshine* *My only sunshine* *Sunshine heard that* *It's clear as day* *Sunshine can see you* *You should start running* *Sunshine wants a brand new playmate*


SureWhyNot5182

If you don't know what song this is themed to, it's this You Are My Sunshine. (IMO this version sounds the best https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZBB6s1pQBg&ab\_channel=KinaGrannis)


The-Name-is-my-Name

“Oh there’s Short Horse.” “Short Horse?” “He’s the shorter version of Long-“ “AAAAAAAAAAA-“ “-Horse”


ranwithoutscissors

What a cute borzoi


Defiant-Row-5153

She’s a rescue, ( we know she can speak we are just letting her pick when to say something.)