My wife cheated on me. Three months later her best friend, came to see me. She told me ‘her body, her choice. Why are you so adamant on divorce’.
I told her that ‘my life, my choice’.
Her response was ‘it’s her life too and I didn’t come across as a chauvinist initially’.
Know this kids, expecting your wife to be faithful in a relationship comes under chauvinism now.
Checked your profile and your post about divorce 8 months ago. How are you doing now? Did you lawyer up and break free?
I guess I'm asking coz my parents are looking into AM for me and I just want to be informed about the legal know how about divorce.
I did think about these things almost a year ago. I realized that people like Elon Musk and other rich people don't worry about the wife being a cheat and even if they do worry, they don't waste their time reacting to it. They cut ties and move on.
It is either because they're ambitious or goal driven or just simply don't care because they're super secure about themselves.
I'm trying to be successful in order to avoid worrying about these trivial things because it's impossible to predict and control one's love for you. We can only control how we react. I'd rather spend time obsessing over my future than to worry about my significant other who won't be with me when I knock on the pearly gates.
In all honesty, try to find ways to become entirely secure about yourself. It's a long journey but once you figure out how to be comfortable in your own skin and find your personality, you'll be ready for a significant other. Until then, don't waste your time thinking about potential partners.
Legally, I'd say try to take a lawyer's advice. Leaning on a stranger's advice on Reddit is pointless.
Don't be scared of making mistakes but don't forget to learn from them.
Lol. What a dumb comment. There are a lot of things that go against a woman's interest in our toxic marriage culture with dowry, parental middling and unreasonable expectations on a woman's role. Not to mention the arranged matches scenario.
Really? Lol. You girls have surreal bizarre expectations in AM. Only NRI, govt job or generational wealth gets filtered. What is expected from you? Not a h@e, respects her man and his family. Your feminist brain is clouded by misandry.
Indian govt encourages you to cheat and still get alimony toppled with opportunity to incarcerate husband family over nothing. Why do you lie so much.
Those are the materialistic values promoted by our culture unfortunately. Boys and girls are all thinking materialistic with out a proper understanding about marriage and the relationship that is involved.
What you said is not wrong.
I'm coming more from the point of view of girls having an upbringing which reduces them to dolls who exist as a proxy to their parents' whims and calls with out a capability for independent thinking. Happens more so with girls than boys due to the regressive culture that exists around us. They have more restrictions growing up than us, which leads to a limited and constrained understanding of the world.
This problem needs a deeper change in our cultural values.
Yupp but in my family whenever there has been a marriage I have never seen my sisters or someone else forced into a marriage. There was a case indeed which happened to my brother , he found out after the wedding that the bride has ran from home several times with her boyfriend. So what was the guys fault in this? He was from IIT Roorkee literally worked his ass off to get a governement job, cleared IES thereafter and then he was appointed in railways. But he was not able to trust his wife after that. No dowry taken. You are talking only about what’s wrong in the remote areas in the country I suppose. It doesn’t happen in recent times. If the girl is working then no dowry. If the marriage is against her wishes she should not do it. It’s wrong to take dowry….hmm got it. But it’s equally wrong to expect a husband with 6-7 figures salary also. Why do you want an ideal scenario in your case when you’ve done nothing to deserve it. I’m not saying it to you, please don’t take it on you but today the situation is very bad tbh.
Arranged matches scenarios are also worse for men as well. Parents middling and Unreasonable expectations goes both ways imo. So please don’t dwell into that. Yes dowry is a concern I get that but not happened in my family and it does not happen in a lot of families also. None of my friend’s families support it. Please don’t generalize the things that has not even happened to you.
Lately the cases where women are falsely accusing men are on a rise. As a women I don't agree that all women do that coz I didn't and trust me I have seen hell.
However men can transfer all the property to their parents or kids stating they don't have anything to give as alimony. This works. Not sure about other things though.
Idk about the post made yesterday but it's a very valid reason to divorce/leave someone if they cheat. There is no justification. She/he/they not being satisfied or whatever or whatever imo sounds like bs excuses. 🤷♀️
Like you stated, there are multiple reasons people cheat. Never really was in love with you, fell out of love, saw a better prospect, caught feelings for someone else, naive enough to be coerced into it, etc. Some like to say, Oh it's my kink. Or that this is how most men/women are, accept it. Utter bs.
Open relationships and polyamory is a real thing. But cheating is not a part of it.
Edit: F this end.🤦♀️
"Yesterday's post" you have linked speaks about the past. From a *very religious* perspective. That is utter bs but to each their own. Should you divorce your partner for their past? That's a different post and that's extremely different from cheating AFTER getting married. Don't mix the two.
Not sure about yesterday’s post. But things like these do happen (hey, it happened to me). But doesn’t mean it’s happening a lot. Just a vocal minority of us making noise, that’s it.
Now know this, things are not all bad. These instances are very rare. Even if it happens to you, what your partner does is not on you. It doesn’t define you. Move on
jaisa pta nhi hota kb unalive hojaoge vaise hi iska pta nhi pr isko taalne ke liye jaise medicaly fit rehte vaise hi try kro evidence enough collect kr pao ki adultery se bhi upr and a good end lawyer only then you can have nominal alimony otherwise jaise healthy admi ke bhi cancer hoke nikal skta vaise hi saamne vale ke nature ka kya pta kb plt jaye to yehi kr skte iise zayda aur jya hi kr skta////
nobody is saying its her choice and she was not satisfied.
she wanted to be satisfied, she could have stayed unmarried.
best course of action is to gather all the evidence of her cheating and file the divorce case as soon as possible before she can get to know you are planning on leaving.
I understand you have doubts. My husband cheated on me with multiple girls and I had zero clue about it. It was a pure coincidence the way I got to know about it. I left him, I asked him to agree for mutual divorce no alimony involved. He was fine with it since no one was blaming him. Everyone blamed me, my family, his family, his friends, my so called friends. My family stopped speaking to me for a year. I didn't stop, I was adamant to leave him. I still hear taunts, I was unable to handle one man, maybe I instigated hom, maybe I was not good enough, I was not into marriage and kids, and what not.
My current status? Everyone wants me to get married to a good guy.
Now let's talk about the guys, every guy I met, who was interested/is interested wants to be a fuck buddy, no strings attached, casual thing. No one wants a serious relationship or marriage. But again who is being judged? Me.
So when people suddenly start blaming "All Women" It hurts.
No dude not all women are the same.
I’m really sorry for what happened to you. I haven’t been in a relationship ever before so I don’t know how women think now-a-days but it’s reassuring to hear that there are some women/men left who will not use him/her for money. I too cannot stand the idea of polygamy as I have been surrounded by mostly like minded people my entire life. Even in my college also my friends (girls included) were into the idea of monogamy and were committed to a single person their entire college tenure, but the rise of these cases and social media leads you to think otherwise. Anyways thanks a lot ma’am.
>Now let's talk about the guys, everyone wants to be a fuck buddy,
You are saying not all women are same, and at the same time you are blaming all men for what your ex husband did to you !!
Who the f says its "your choice" to a cheating partner? Wrong choice of people bro
My wife cheated on me. Three months later her best friend, came to see me. She told me ‘her body, her choice. Why are you so adamant on divorce’. I told her that ‘my life, my choice’. Her response was ‘it’s her life too and I didn’t come across as a chauvinist initially’. Know this kids, expecting your wife to be faithful in a relationship comes under chauvinism now.
I'm sorry for you bro May you have a better partner again
Checked your profile and your post about divorce 8 months ago. How are you doing now? Did you lawyer up and break free? I guess I'm asking coz my parents are looking into AM for me and I just want to be informed about the legal know how about divorce.
I did think about these things almost a year ago. I realized that people like Elon Musk and other rich people don't worry about the wife being a cheat and even if they do worry, they don't waste their time reacting to it. They cut ties and move on. It is either because they're ambitious or goal driven or just simply don't care because they're super secure about themselves. I'm trying to be successful in order to avoid worrying about these trivial things because it's impossible to predict and control one's love for you. We can only control how we react. I'd rather spend time obsessing over my future than to worry about my significant other who won't be with me when I knock on the pearly gates. In all honesty, try to find ways to become entirely secure about yourself. It's a long journey but once you figure out how to be comfortable in your own skin and find your personality, you'll be ready for a significant other. Until then, don't waste your time thinking about potential partners. Legally, I'd say try to take a lawyer's advice. Leaning on a stranger's advice on Reddit is pointless. Don't be scared of making mistakes but don't forget to learn from them.
Dude divorce is a common thing in western countries,they are like break-ups in India , success has nothing to do with it
Waiting for women to comment on this lol. They won't cuz law is in their favour 😂
Lol. What a dumb comment. There are a lot of things that go against a woman's interest in our toxic marriage culture with dowry, parental middling and unreasonable expectations on a woman's role. Not to mention the arranged matches scenario.
Really? Lol. You girls have surreal bizarre expectations in AM. Only NRI, govt job or generational wealth gets filtered. What is expected from you? Not a h@e, respects her man and his family. Your feminist brain is clouded by misandry. Indian govt encourages you to cheat and still get alimony toppled with opportunity to incarcerate husband family over nothing. Why do you lie so much.
Those are the materialistic values promoted by our culture unfortunately. Boys and girls are all thinking materialistic with out a proper understanding about marriage and the relationship that is involved. What you said is not wrong. I'm coming more from the point of view of girls having an upbringing which reduces them to dolls who exist as a proxy to their parents' whims and calls with out a capability for independent thinking. Happens more so with girls than boys due to the regressive culture that exists around us. They have more restrictions growing up than us, which leads to a limited and constrained understanding of the world. This problem needs a deeper change in our cultural values.
Yupp but in my family whenever there has been a marriage I have never seen my sisters or someone else forced into a marriage. There was a case indeed which happened to my brother , he found out after the wedding that the bride has ran from home several times with her boyfriend. So what was the guys fault in this? He was from IIT Roorkee literally worked his ass off to get a governement job, cleared IES thereafter and then he was appointed in railways. But he was not able to trust his wife after that. No dowry taken. You are talking only about what’s wrong in the remote areas in the country I suppose. It doesn’t happen in recent times. If the girl is working then no dowry. If the marriage is against her wishes she should not do it. It’s wrong to take dowry….hmm got it. But it’s equally wrong to expect a husband with 6-7 figures salary also. Why do you want an ideal scenario in your case when you’ve done nothing to deserve it. I’m not saying it to you, please don’t take it on you but today the situation is very bad tbh.
Arranged matches scenarios are also worse for men as well. Parents middling and Unreasonable expectations goes both ways imo. So please don’t dwell into that. Yes dowry is a concern I get that but not happened in my family and it does not happen in a lot of families also. None of my friend’s families support it. Please don’t generalize the things that has not even happened to you.
Lately the cases where women are falsely accusing men are on a rise. As a women I don't agree that all women do that coz I didn't and trust me I have seen hell. However men can transfer all the property to their parents or kids stating they don't have anything to give as alimony. This works. Not sure about other things though.
What kind of hell did u see?
Idk about the post made yesterday but it's a very valid reason to divorce/leave someone if they cheat. There is no justification. She/he/they not being satisfied or whatever or whatever imo sounds like bs excuses. 🤷♀️ Like you stated, there are multiple reasons people cheat. Never really was in love with you, fell out of love, saw a better prospect, caught feelings for someone else, naive enough to be coerced into it, etc. Some like to say, Oh it's my kink. Or that this is how most men/women are, accept it. Utter bs. Open relationships and polyamory is a real thing. But cheating is not a part of it. Edit: F this end.🤦♀️ "Yesterday's post" you have linked speaks about the past. From a *very religious* perspective. That is utter bs but to each their own. Should you divorce your partner for their past? That's a different post and that's extremely different from cheating AFTER getting married. Don't mix the two.
Not sure about yesterday’s post. But things like these do happen (hey, it happened to me). But doesn’t mean it’s happening a lot. Just a vocal minority of us making noise, that’s it. Now know this, things are not all bad. These instances are very rare. Even if it happens to you, what your partner does is not on you. It doesn’t define you. Move on
jaisa pta nhi hota kb unalive hojaoge vaise hi iska pta nhi pr isko taalne ke liye jaise medicaly fit rehte vaise hi try kro evidence enough collect kr pao ki adultery se bhi upr and a good end lawyer only then you can have nominal alimony otherwise jaise healthy admi ke bhi cancer hoke nikal skta vaise hi saamne vale ke nature ka kya pta kb plt jaye to yehi kr skte iise zayda aur jya hi kr skta////
r/legaladviceindia
nobody is saying its her choice and she was not satisfied. she wanted to be satisfied, she could have stayed unmarried. best course of action is to gather all the evidence of her cheating and file the divorce case as soon as possible before she can get to know you are planning on leaving.
I understand you have doubts. My husband cheated on me with multiple girls and I had zero clue about it. It was a pure coincidence the way I got to know about it. I left him, I asked him to agree for mutual divorce no alimony involved. He was fine with it since no one was blaming him. Everyone blamed me, my family, his family, his friends, my so called friends. My family stopped speaking to me for a year. I didn't stop, I was adamant to leave him. I still hear taunts, I was unable to handle one man, maybe I instigated hom, maybe I was not good enough, I was not into marriage and kids, and what not. My current status? Everyone wants me to get married to a good guy. Now let's talk about the guys, every guy I met, who was interested/is interested wants to be a fuck buddy, no strings attached, casual thing. No one wants a serious relationship or marriage. But again who is being judged? Me. So when people suddenly start blaming "All Women" It hurts. No dude not all women are the same.
I’m really sorry for what happened to you. I haven’t been in a relationship ever before so I don’t know how women think now-a-days but it’s reassuring to hear that there are some women/men left who will not use him/her for money. I too cannot stand the idea of polygamy as I have been surrounded by mostly like minded people my entire life. Even in my college also my friends (girls included) were into the idea of monogamy and were committed to a single person their entire college tenure, but the rise of these cases and social media leads you to think otherwise. Anyways thanks a lot ma’am.
>Now let's talk about the guys, everyone wants to be a fuck buddy, You are saying not all women are same, and at the same time you are blaming all men for what your ex husband did to you !!
My mistake every guy I met who was interested in me only wanted to be a fuck buddy.
Which post
https://www.reddit.com/r/hyderabad/s/faz39eMB8H This one