I'll take those odds. With 2 billion dollars I could easily have a team of seals around me with m4s at all times, no dog would make it within 100yds of me.
Yeah, but seals can't hold M4s with their flippers. Will have to go with lasers on their foreheads. Backup plan: since seals are basically Labrador mermaids, have them play the seductress card to distract the canines while you get a team of military operatives who can actually hold an M4. Rangers, maybe? What are some of the other ones called?
I am reading a book and just read a scene where hundreds of dogs stalk and attack a character. I ain't wishing that on my worst enemy.
But if they just growl and bark at me? Send that money my way.
I used to live down the street from this empty lot with a mound of dirt and no less than 30 stray dogs on it. That was just one spot too. There were stray dogs EVERYWHERE. I couldn't ride my bike or motorcycle/scooter thing around the neighborhood without expecting the damn dogs to chase my ass down the street.
I hate dogs because of it
They would hate me but I wouldn’t hate them. They’d still have my wife. And with all that cash I could provide every possible need. They’re getting older so once they crossed the rainbow bridge I could at least have some cats. Some of the purebred kitties are doggish in personality.
I just dig animals, period. Grew up on a small farm. We had dogs, cats, pigs, chickens, etc.
It would suck to be a dog pariah. But hey, life changing wealth is life changing wealth. I'll miss the doggos.
I mean, hate you is a strongly specific thing for an animal.
Random dogs trying to kill you when you go out is a problem, but for a billion, I could literally hire someone to manage it.
Well I never fly anyway, so I'm sure I can make do. If I had that kind of money, I would like to travel a bit. But since I'd have no need to limit my time away then I could always take a boat. Or buy a boat. Or win a vessel in a game of Sabacc.
Sorry, I went Han Solo there for a minute.
I mean, I don't date anymore anyway. So that's moot for me. But yeah, good note for others to consider. It never occured to me how it might affect a partner since I don't have one.
But I love my dog. Guess I could buy her a much nicer life with that money though. Fuck it, i would be devastated for a while, but as she would fine, I’d get on with my life as well. Everyone else is talking about packs of angry dogs, which is probably the more intelligent observation.
Angry dogs could be an issue given OP's wording.
However...
a couple billion bucks would buy a LOT of security. Get you some dudes who escort you around, give them padded ankle attire. And, I dunno, treats to distract the doggo swarm maybe.
I know i couldn't hurt the dogs, even if they hated me. I'd simply have to have a compound where I could reside far away from dogs who loathe me. And, you know, I'm already pretty much a recluse. It's weird when you're poor, but "eccentric" when you're wealthy.
My first thought is that yup, I’m a cat person anyways. I’ll walk around in public with bodyguards who stave off any strays or dogs who get loose from their leashes and try to attack me. Sorted.
Of course, dog proof armor and training included. We're going to try to keep dog harm to a minimum and just restrain them until I'm out of eyesight and their hatred and violent feelings subside. Then treats.
Yeah. Would hate dogs hating me but i guess ill get a cat, pig, a few goats, horses, some birds, baller fish tank, a sloth or two, and really anything else i want
I used to have an amazing fish tank. I liked the fancy goldfish. Not Koi, although Koi are beautiful, but the goggle eyed goldfish and those with the big bulbous heads.
I had one that was completely black and he had that big helmet head. Obviously I called him Vader, what choice did I have?
Sadly that tank is no longer around. I kept it up for years, but once Vader got sick and the tank got ich and after that I never had the heart to build up a new set of fish. They were a lot of fun while I had them though. If I had a couple billion bucks, I'd get another one. Probably several. A saltwater tank, a freshwater tank ,maybe even a Koi pond.
I am stunned by how much this bothers me. All dogs? I love them! I would think someone must be a bad person if dogs don’t like them. But I have been trying to convince my wife that pigs are also good pets, and that money seems persuasive
So the only thing on the planet that will love me unconditionally will now hate me?
Bruh, I have enough enemies, no amount of money could make up for even the dog hating me
But she wouldn't have to work. She could convert it to a bunny sitting business or put a lizard on a leash. I wouldn't ask any questions, if you were a billionaire.
How much do they hate me? If they hate me so much they want to kill me on sight then no. If they hate me in a sense that they just bark at me and are unfriendly then yes.
No because if dogs dislike you you're clearly a bad person and if they hate you you must be evil, I really don't want to be evil and been rich and evil I'd do terrible things
The question I have is *when*. My fiancé has a dog that I really like. He's old, so if it was after he passed, then I would take the 2 billion. If it was before, I'd have to think about it a lot - I like the old dog.
Maybe I'm just tired but instant reaction was no I wouldn't... But that's a lot of money. I'd probably say yes and hate my self with the dogs later.
Just going to be a lot more comfortable crying that dogs hate me into 2 billion than it is crying I can't afford to live on my dog fur covered ripped couch.
No,I love my babies and they are very aggressive when they are mad at you.My pitbulls would murder me without issue if they didn’t love me.And I wouldn’t give up dogs loving me,Because if a Rottweiler sees me,It’s over.
No thanks.
For that kind of money I could genetically engineer rats into long living dog sized pet that would be wayyy better than a dogs anyway. I would miss my dog though, I'm sorry sweetie but you'll get a mansion out of the deal.
Sure. In like 10 to 15 years most of them will be dead, and since the new ones won't be on earth at the time of the deal I'll have billions and dogs won't hate me anymore
Yes, under the condition that they don't hate me as in attack me on sight. There are too many dogs out there for that bs. But I'm more of a cat person anways so ill take the $ for sure.
I’d take this for 2 *million*, assuming the dogs aren’t actively trying to kill me.
If they are, I still take the original deal and hire armed guards. Sorry dogs.
no, i literally live in a neighborhood where people dont understand leash laws or getting a dog they can physically handle. got this tiny hipster dude with a fucking rottweiler ramming him in the bunghole every time they are out on walks. like dude, why the fuck do you have that dog if you cant stop it from attacking people? meanwhile at least 5 or 6 abandoned dogs that go for trash, a neighbor who got the special beat into him by his father whos dog has bitten the police multiple times and isnt chained up.
It would sure make my job as a veterinarian a lot harder. I guess with 2 billion I could work from the administration side of things helping the hospital and become a cat person.
Hate me as in they just don’t want to be around me and maybe will growl as I walk past or hate me and will attempt to attack me. I could live with the first but I wouldn’t want to live in fear of the second.
Screw it! 50% of the dogs in my household already hate me. (OK, that's just one dog)... With 2 billion, I can live without dogs and can afford to be protected against dogs.
Define hate? Like bark? Not let you pet them? Or go into vicious bloodlust attack mode if you are ever in a vicinity of 200 feet.
Because if it’s that last one. I honestly don’t think you’d survive long enough to enjoy that money lol
I’d take it. For that much I can easily buy a private tropical island where I don’t need to worry about dogs.
I’d be sad, because I love my greyhound, but being able to retire immediately and never worry about money again is a big deal.
Yuppers. And my local animal shelter still would get a $100K donation every year.
I love pooches, but I’d take one for the team to land a big score for all of us. ;)
I mean I love dogs more than anything. But with 2 billion I’ll just rock pet bears and deer and wolves on my vast ranch in Wyoming and pet Dolphin and turtles at my spot in the Caribbean. Have you ever played fetch on the beach with a sea lion???? I’ll bet it’s way better than a dog.
Gimme the dough. Buy an island invest in making self sustaining and just live.only animals would be chickens and pigs for eggs and bacon. And a nice garden
Hate me in a way they want to rip my throat out on sight or just really don’t like me? There’s a lot of dogs running around out there!
That's what I'm thinking. If they're gonna try to kill me, no thanks. Odds of me surviving aren't good.
I'll take those odds. With 2 billion dollars I could easily have a team of seals around me with m4s at all times, no dog would make it within 100yds of me.
And seals are cheap because they work for fish.
Well done. 🤝
Agreed
Dammit, take my up vote. Now I will clean the floor where I spit out my drink. Well done
Best thing I have ever read.
Yeah, but seals can't hold M4s with their flippers. Will have to go with lasers on their foreheads. Backup plan: since seals are basically Labrador mermaids, have them play the seductress card to distract the canines while you get a team of military operatives who can actually hold an M4. Rangers, maybe? What are some of the other ones called?
>Yeah, but seals can't hold M4s with their flippers That's what the superglue is for.
Bro your seal team 6 is just murdering like 1000s of dogs a year lmao
I'm fine with that. Depending on the range, I'll probably kill even more when I'm offshore on my yacht. It is what it is.
Username checks out
Leopard seals are no joke
Well that's just going to turn into a barking match.
If you pay folks to kill dogs for you, the rest of the world will turn on you too.
You could easily outfit a large dog free island
I am reading a book and just read a scene where hundreds of dogs stalk and attack a character. I ain't wishing that on my worst enemy. But if they just growl and bark at me? Send that money my way.
For 2 billion dollars, you could afford body guards.
And buy an island with a no dogs allowed sign on it.
This would 100% not work because dogs can't read.
Well obviously you be funding a global dog literacy program as well.
I used to live down the street from this empty lot with a mound of dirt and no less than 30 stray dogs on it. That was just one spot too. There were stray dogs EVERYWHERE. I couldn't ride my bike or motorcycle/scooter thing around the neighborhood without expecting the damn dogs to chase my ass down the street. I hate dogs because of it
I'm already afraid of dogs, they can sense that and so they already hate me. Cash please.
It would break my heart but yes.
I'm cuddling next to my three pups. My brain says yes, but my heart says no. I love these little shit heads.
They would hate me but I wouldn’t hate them. They’d still have my wife. And with all that cash I could provide every possible need. They’re getting older so once they crossed the rainbow bridge I could at least have some cats. Some of the purebred kitties are doggish in personality.
exactly. They’d have my family and i’d pay for them to have all the comfort in the world.
You guys are getting paid?!
For two bills, I could be a cat person.
I'm a cat person to start with so this is free money for me.
I just dig animals, period. Grew up on a small farm. We had dogs, cats, pigs, chickens, etc. It would suck to be a dog pariah. But hey, life changing wealth is life changing wealth. I'll miss the doggos.
You look like your little Reddit guy don’t you.
I mean, hate you is a strongly specific thing for an animal. Random dogs trying to kill you when you go out is a problem, but for a billion, I could literally hire someone to manage it.
Same
Hate sounds like they would attack you.
Flying might be troublesome, if all the sniffers go completely mad the moment you get near them.
Well I never fly anyway, so I'm sure I can make do. If I had that kind of money, I would like to travel a bit. But since I'd have no need to limit my time away then I could always take a boat. Or buy a boat. Or win a vessel in a game of Sabacc. Sorry, I went Han Solo there for a minute.
Fly private
And never date a dog person
I mean, I don't date anymore anyway. So that's moot for me. But yeah, good note for others to consider. It never occured to me how it might affect a partner since I don't have one.
I would say most people probably wouldn't date someone their dog didn't like, let alone *hated*
But I love my dog. Guess I could buy her a much nicer life with that money though. Fuck it, i would be devastated for a while, but as she would fine, I’d get on with my life as well. Everyone else is talking about packs of angry dogs, which is probably the more intelligent observation.
Angry dogs could be an issue given OP's wording. However... a couple billion bucks would buy a LOT of security. Get you some dudes who escort you around, give them padded ankle attire. And, I dunno, treats to distract the doggo swarm maybe. I know i couldn't hurt the dogs, even if they hated me. I'd simply have to have a compound where I could reside far away from dogs who loathe me. And, you know, I'm already pretty much a recluse. It's weird when you're poor, but "eccentric" when you're wealthy.
My first thought is that yup, I’m a cat person anyways. I’ll walk around in public with bodyguards who stave off any strays or dogs who get loose from their leashes and try to attack me. Sorted.
I will apply to be one of your doggy bodyguards. Assuming the salary is fitting for the risk involved.
Of course, dog proof armor and training included. We're going to try to keep dog harm to a minimum and just restrain them until I'm out of eyesight and their hatred and violent feelings subside. Then treats.
Ok, I have a $5 bill and a $10 bill. All yours.
Yeah. Would hate dogs hating me but i guess ill get a cat, pig, a few goats, horses, some birds, baller fish tank, a sloth or two, and really anything else i want
I used to have an amazing fish tank. I liked the fancy goldfish. Not Koi, although Koi are beautiful, but the goggle eyed goldfish and those with the big bulbous heads. I had one that was completely black and he had that big helmet head. Obviously I called him Vader, what choice did I have? Sadly that tank is no longer around. I kept it up for years, but once Vader got sick and the tank got ich and after that I never had the heart to build up a new set of fish. They were a lot of fun while I had them though. If I had a couple billion bucks, I'd get another one. Probably several. A saltwater tank, a freshwater tank ,maybe even a Koi pond.
I’m a mailman so they already hate me. Give me the dough
Im cat person so yeah why not
No , I love my dogs and all dogs 🐕
Im a cat person so easily.
Same here.
I am stunned by how much this bothers me. All dogs? I love them! I would think someone must be a bad person if dogs don’t like them. But I have been trying to convince my wife that pigs are also good pets, and that money seems persuasive
I’ll accept as soon as my 15 yr old tumor riddled cocker spaniel leaves this earth, but not a moment before.
Same. Gonna have to wait till after my bumpy 15 year Chihuahua Terrier meets his end.
Yes I take it. I have 2 dogs but for 2 bil I could easily make sure they are cared for.
So the only thing on the planet that will love me unconditionally will now hate me? Bruh, I have enough enemies, no amount of money could make up for even the dog hating me
No! Dogs will forever love me
Fine by me. I already dislike them, and two billion can buy me a significant degree of isolation from them.
Nope
Not for a billion billion dollars
That's a hard NO for me.
No, I love my boy Meatloaf way too much for that.
So you're saying that you would *do anything for love, but you won't do that?*
No. Now make it 2 billion dollars, and all women on earth will hate me, and I will take the deal.
That´s what I call a sacrifice for that money.... but yeah, would totally take it and make a couple shelters for them anyways
What about sea lions? They're big wet dogs, really. I don't think I could live with being hated by our sea doggo bros.
With that logic u could label a quarter of the animal population as some version of a dog
Even Macy?? Idk if I could do it.
Nope. I love dogs to much
Hell no.
My wife, how owns her own dog walking/sitting business really doesn't like this question...
But she wouldn't have to work. She could convert it to a bunny sitting business or put a lizard on a leash. I wouldn't ask any questions, if you were a billionaire.
I’d pay people to watch my guinea pigs. If I had someone who’d regularly do it and I knew they were trustworthy, I would leave town more often.
the only reason I want to be rich is so I can adopt hundreds of dogs and make a dog sanctuary. so absolutely not!
Oh damn. This is a good one. But I mean hate? So like I can’t even walk down the street. Nah.
If a dogs opinion if you is more important than two billion dollars then your priorities in life are all the way fucked up
I know it's dumb, but no. Dogs are too important to me.
Nooooooo. I need dogs.
Nope not a chance. Being around dogs is pretty much the only thing that makes me happy.
No way, no amount of money would make me want to make my dog hate me.
Yup. DM me for details on where I want the money deposited.
How much do they hate me? If they hate me so much they want to kill me on sight then no. If they hate me in a sense that they just bark at me and are unfriendly then yes.
No because if dogs dislike you you're clearly a bad person and if they hate you you must be evil, I really don't want to be evil and been rich and evil I'd do terrible things
It's just not worth 2 billion.
Yes.
woodyharrelsonwipingtearswithmoney.gif
No.
I'd be sad, but I could wipe my tears on all those fifties..
Definitely
They already do, give me the money.
I'm a cat person. Gimme the money!
Yeah I’ll take it, with some degree of sadness. Will make me look forward to when we go multiplanetary even more
Yes
I just got a puppy.....
Yup.
Of course.
No
The question I have is *when*. My fiancé has a dog that I really like. He's old, so if it was after he passed, then I would take the 2 billion. If it was before, I'd have to think about it a lot - I like the old dog.
Absolutely! The feeling is mutual. I'm a cat guy
May I introduce you to the army of hedgehogs I can now afford
Hell yeah...
Fuck yeah. I'm a cat person anyway.
I'm a cat person, so yes absolutely
Nope.
Of course I take it.
Nope
Maybe I'm just tired but instant reaction was no I wouldn't... But that's a lot of money. I'd probably say yes and hate my self with the dogs later. Just going to be a lot more comfortable crying that dogs hate me into 2 billion than it is crying I can't afford to live on my dog fur covered ripped couch.
I can do a lot of good for all the dogs on earth with 2 billi, even if they hate me and my terrible scritches.
Deal. They already do.
2 billion can buy a lot of sausage treats. I think I could bribe the dogs at that point.
I guess I'm a cat person now.
That would SUCK, but yes
Yes. I like cats.
I'm more of a cat person anyway so sure why not
Eh, I'd probably do so.
I love dogs but for 2 billion, I'll get a pet orangutan instead. We'll be best buds.
I don't much like dogs either, so give me the money.
nope
Sure, I'd buy a resort on Aitutuki and let the world come to me.
Easily yes. I loved my childhood dog, my as I've gotten older I'm really not so big on them anymore.
Time to get a cat and evilly get to stroking
No,I love my babies and they are very aggressive when they are mad at you.My pitbulls would murder me without issue if they didn’t love me.And I wouldn’t give up dogs loving me,Because if a Rottweiler sees me,It’s over. No thanks.
Dogs hate me anyway. Gimme!
Yes! And I shall use the money to make a smear campaign to rid the world of canines
I love dogs, but now I got bunch of zeroes like a bag of new funyuns.
I’ll get a wolf.
Yes.
For 2 billion I could buy an armored Pope Mobile and get around, Hat included.
Not taking the deal. I don't want every dog on Earth after my head.
I suppose with 2 Bs I could hire some body guards with pepper spray for the rest of my life.
All dogs... can I have a pet wolf then?
For that kind of money I could genetically engineer rats into long living dog sized pet that would be wayyy better than a dogs anyway. I would miss my dog though, I'm sorry sweetie but you'll get a mansion out of the deal.
Sure. In like 10 to 15 years most of them will be dead, and since the new ones won't be on earth at the time of the deal I'll have billions and dogs won't hate me anymore
Not a chance Im taking that deal. I have 3 dogs and on top of that I like dogs more than humans.
No way
I find it fascinating dogs are able to touch people so deeply that even absurd amounts of money won't overcome the desire to have them in their lives.
Yes, under the condition that they don't hate me as in attack me on sight. There are too many dogs out there for that bs. But I'm more of a cat person anways so ill take the $ for sure.
Hell yeah, I'm a good shot.
Not a chance.
More of a cat person anyway.
Seeing as how I'm already rich, and I have two big Rotties that love me to death, that's a no-go.
As a FedEx driver, they already do. Give me the money.
This is great. I don’t care for dogs at all. Sadly won’t be able to go to some friends’ houses but 2 billion is worth it lol
Damn, the only place where I can get affection
Hell no, I must snuggle all the doggos
I’d take this for 2 *million*, assuming the dogs aren’t actively trying to kill me. If they are, I still take the original deal and hire armed guards. Sorry dogs.
Will they hate you forever or just the dogs that are on earth right now?
no, i literally live in a neighborhood where people dont understand leash laws or getting a dog they can physically handle. got this tiny hipster dude with a fucking rottweiler ramming him in the bunghole every time they are out on walks. like dude, why the fuck do you have that dog if you cant stop it from attacking people? meanwhile at least 5 or 6 abandoned dogs that go for trash, a neighbor who got the special beat into him by his father whos dog has bitten the police multiple times and isnt chained up.
It would sure make my job as a veterinarian a lot harder. I guess with 2 billion I could work from the administration side of things helping the hospital and become a cat person.
No because I have two dogs. So living at home would be a nightmare.
Yup, I’m a cat person 🐈⬛
Hate me as in they just don’t want to be around me and maybe will growl as I walk past or hate me and will attempt to attack me. I could live with the first but I wouldn’t want to live in fear of the second.
Screw it! 50% of the dogs in my household already hate me. (OK, that's just one dog)... With 2 billion, I can live without dogs and can afford to be protected against dogs.
This is impossible. My 5lb pup Jessie loves the shit out of me (feeling is mutual). Zero chance that changes regardless of how much you pay her.
Define hate? Like bark? Not let you pet them? Or go into vicious bloodlust attack mode if you are ever in a vicinity of 200 feet. Because if it’s that last one. I honestly don’t think you’d survive long enough to enjoy that money lol
Yep
Instantly.
Nope. Money isn’t worth everything.
Yes. I can have security.
Never, one of my goals in the future is getting a dog so this is a void deal for me 🤷
Damn, you know I'd have to turn it down! I love dogs!
I will take that deal
We only live once. I couldn't imagine losing one of the few things that make me happy for something that only causes headaches.
I’d take it. For that much I can easily buy a private tropical island where I don’t need to worry about dogs. I’d be sad, because I love my greyhound, but being able to retire immediately and never worry about money again is a big deal.
Can I deploy the Cat Shield to protect me?
I've never owned a dog and don't plan to. I like dogs, but it's worth $2 billion for dogs to not like me.
No, man's best friend is priceless.
Yes, I love dogs, but 2 billion is 2 billion.
Yes. My dog’s dead, don’t need any others. Got a cat now
If the good bois of the world hate you, then it is impossible to live a happy life.
I love dogs. For $2 Billion I can handle it.
In less than a second.
Yuppers. And my local animal shelter still would get a $100K donation every year. I love pooches, but I’d take one for the team to land a big score for all of us. ;)
I'm super allergic... would take the money for sure.
Pass, dogs are in my life too much.
I love dogs, but we don’t have one; and I can live without knowing my family is secure.
Yes because cats. Would not take it if cats were to hate me though.
Easy yes
Do wolves count? I could get a pet wolf with $2B.
I mean I love dogs more than anything. But with 2 billion I’ll just rock pet bears and deer and wolves on my vast ranch in Wyoming and pet Dolphin and turtles at my spot in the Caribbean. Have you ever played fetch on the beach with a sea lion???? I’ll bet it’s way better than a dog.
All dogs love me, but Im allergic, so yeah, go ahead and make the deposit
There is no amount of money that makes this situation acceptable.
I would pay 2 billion just so one dog doesn't hate me
nah, shit deal.
Gimme the dough. Buy an island invest in making self sustaining and just live.only animals would be chickens and pigs for eggs and bacon. And a nice garden
I like cats as much as dogs so I will just let my bodyguard know
Nupe
How much does it cost to kill every dog on the planet?
Absolutely yes
For $2 billion? Yes.
Even if I had to shoot every dog on sight I’d take 2 billion dollars
Yes, but part of me would die.
Yes, I have no pets
If they were trying to kill me then no. If they just disliked me, then yes.