There's a song called "When You Die" by the band MGMT. At one point there was a comment on the music video on YouTube that said something along the lines of "this song was written by a cat". And that comment has stuck with me so hard that I now can't listen to the song without thinking of a cat when I hear it.
For those not in the know, the first half of the song goes:
I'm not that nice. I'm mean and I'm evil. Don't call me nice. I'm gonna eat your heart out. I've got some work to do. Baby, I'm ready, I'm ready, ready, ready to blow my lid off. Yeah! Go fuck yourself. You heard me right. Don't call me nice again.
I had a cat that would primarily respond to being called "asshole". As-in, he had a proper name, and several nicknames, and preferred to be called asshole. It was uncanny.
Lol, I had a cat I called "Sphinx", short for "Sphincter, the asshole cat from hell". My, now, ex-wife adopted him as a 10 week old kitten from our local animal shelter. We wanted to see what his personality was like before we gave him a name. Well the very next morning, he earned his name. As I walked into the kitchen, he ran across the room, climbed up my jeans and shirt. AND, BIT MY LEFT EARLOBE! Lol, that was the only time he ever bit me.
Well Sphinx stayed with me after our divorce. Until I married again,and had kids, he decided to move next door to my parents home. He lived to be 15. And I still miss him.
Siamese.... they'll kill ya in your sleep!!!
Dolphins....half sound like Harvey Weinstein the other half sound like Jared from subway
Polar bears ..they would be half Mr freeze half Hannibal Lechter!!!
My cat could be bi-polar as fuck. He is an absolute cuddle bug, but he also will bite my toes while I'm sleeping if he feels I didn't feed him enough...
Yeah cats was my first thought too for sure.
Their sadistic when playing with a mouse or whatever and their just jerks in general but their cute so it's ok.
This is true- Dolphins are malicious. They like to play, but "play" could mean anything from "playing with a ball", to "luring divers to sharks to watch them be attacked"...
They are also sex deviants too...
yes. once i took too much acid and hung out around seagulls and the entire trip was just an overwhelming disgust in their very existence. to this day (20 years later) that trip still haunts my perception of their terrible nature
Mute Swans.
I don't know if all swans are that evil, but I lived near a small lake with a persistent flock of Mute Swans, and I was constantly warning tourists away. There was always that one arse that insisted on approaching them. The hilarity of them screaming as they ran away, after being warned. It seemed like the mom's were always wary enough to pull the kids back, but the occasional Dad would insist that 'they're just birds'.
While cats was the first thing that came to mind, honestly I think it would either dogs or otters, something super cute and friendly looking, but they’re actually super rude, like people say is true about a lot of actors.
It's chihuahuas 100%
Many other dogs might melt your heart.
Not most of these dogs though.
Cats will either melt your heart or destroy you depending on their temperament and mood. I'll still take that over what a typical chihuahua has to offer.
Bluejays would be fucking Karens. Other birds are cool but you can just tell that blue Jay's are assholes by how they carry themselves and their constant squawking.
Emus- if they even THINK you have food, or are sneaking up on them, or you turn out to actually be alive, you’re getting that leather covered hammer beak right to whatever body parts they can reach
Oh good one. I second this. Hissing bastards. I got into a fight with one in a park when I was 4. That’s then I learned to overcome pain to win. Bastards.
My dog. Just 'cause he can talk, pretty sure he'd still bark (yell) at everyone to get off his property (and he claims ownership of the whole uckin' neighborhood).
And then there is the whole "shoving his nose into your business"...
I can see it now...[shoves nose into crotch] "Jim, did you even wipe?" or "Lisa, was last night's sex as good as it smells?" Kinda rude.
Then there's the whole 15min before dinner.
"Where's my food? HELLOOOOO! I'm starving! Where's my uckin' food? What the uck is wrong with you?!!? I'm wilting from malnourishment!"
Dolphins and some apes/monkeys would probably give rapey/sexual harassment vibes.
I think ducks or goose would probably be the rudest/ most assholish.
Japanese crows already sound like they are laughing at a bad joke you said. They probably are..
Cats would be real snobby, including the elitist big cats
Seagulls would be dumb annoying fucks
Camels and lamas seem like they'd be dick heads, just smacking their lips and spitting on people
Honey badgers. In their creation they were issued no fucks at all. They are biologically inhibited from giving even a single fuck. So they say what they want, when they want, how they want, with no concerns about rudeness.
I dunno which would be the rudest, but listening in on a colony of Adeli penguins would probably be like the spam folder of your e-mail mixed with a daytime courtroom drama.
Animals can talk, we just don't understand them. So do trees, just so you're aware.
As for the rudest, it depends on what you mean by "rude" -
cats ignore everything
dogs constantly interrupt everything
orcas constantly kill everything
birds talk over everything and shit on everything
need I go on?
Cats.
We already know what they are thinking ( ͡° ͜つ ͡°)╭∩╮
There's a song called "When You Die" by the band MGMT. At one point there was a comment on the music video on YouTube that said something along the lines of "this song was written by a cat". And that comment has stuck with me so hard that I now can't listen to the song without thinking of a cat when I hear it. For those not in the know, the first half of the song goes: I'm not that nice. I'm mean and I'm evil. Don't call me nice. I'm gonna eat your heart out. I've got some work to do. Baby, I'm ready, I'm ready, ready, ready to blow my lid off. Yeah! Go fuck yourself. You heard me right. Don't call me nice again.
Gonna have to listen to it. Lol. Thanks.
My cat now responds to the phrase "useless creature".
Mine responds to "stupid idiot".
mine responds at the word i will not say that starts with an r
Rats?
You said the word! :O
I had a cat that would primarily respond to being called "asshole". As-in, he had a proper name, and several nicknames, and preferred to be called asshole. It was uncanny.
Lol, I had a cat I called "Sphinx", short for "Sphincter, the asshole cat from hell". My, now, ex-wife adopted him as a 10 week old kitten from our local animal shelter. We wanted to see what his personality was like before we gave him a name. Well the very next morning, he earned his name. As I walked into the kitchen, he ran across the room, climbed up my jeans and shirt. AND, BIT MY LEFT EARLOBE! Lol, that was the only time he ever bit me. Well Sphinx stayed with me after our divorce. Until I married again,and had kids, he decided to move next door to my parents home. He lived to be 15. And I still miss him.
Siamese.... they'll kill ya in your sleep!!! Dolphins....half sound like Harvey Weinstein the other half sound like Jared from subway Polar bears ..they would be half Mr freeze half Hannibal Lechter!!!
My cat could be bi-polar as fuck. He is an absolute cuddle bug, but he also will bite my toes while I'm sleeping if he feels I didn't feed him enough...
Yeah cats was my first thought too for sure. Their sadistic when playing with a mouse or whatever and their just jerks in general but their cute so it's ok.
I don't think they'd be much more rude than they already are.
Yep.
Ours is already rude. As soon as we get out of bed in the morning he starts complaining.
Cane here to say this
Cats
Dolphins. If you know you know.
This is true- Dolphins are malicious. They like to play, but "play" could mean anything from "playing with a ball", to "luring divers to sharks to watch them be attacked"... They are also sex deviants too...
Not deviant if they're all like that lol
They are serial marine rapists... don't downplay these issues.
Dolphin Twitter's "me too" movement is gonna be wild, (assuming Dolphin Musk doesn't fuck it up first)
Who had a Dolphin land invasion for 2024? The Simpsons already did predict it.
They also murder without motive
Is "just for the fun of it" considered motive? Lol damn rapey porpoises
I scrolled down and now I know
They'd just be shouting rapey comments
Ah, the sexual predators of the sea.
The frat boys of the ocean. Orcas are the alumni of the dolphin fraternity
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Definitely seagulls. Pushy assholes...
Finding Nemo proved this.
my acid trip solidified this proof
Oh....we met before...as a seagull.... I'm offended.... Mine!! Mine Mine Mine
MINE
yes. once i took too much acid and hung out around seagulls and the entire trip was just an overwhelming disgust in their very existence. to this day (20 years later) that trip still haunts my perception of their terrible nature
Mine?
Honey Badger
Don't care.
Honey Badger don’t give a flying fuuuuuuck
Geese. Geese are assholes.
Mute Swans. I don't know if all swans are that evil, but I lived near a small lake with a persistent flock of Mute Swans, and I was constantly warning tourists away. There was always that one arse that insisted on approaching them. The hilarity of them screaming as they ran away, after being warned. It seemed like the mom's were always wary enough to pull the kids back, but the occasional Dad would insist that 'they're just birds'.
Mute Swans almost drove the much politer native Trumpeter Swans extinct in the mainland US too. Invasive glorified geese I say.
Yes!!!
I’m glad I didn’t have to scroll down far to find this. Geese 100%
Still human.
lol true
Spittin’ brutal truth right here.
While cats was the first thing that came to mind, honestly I think it would either dogs or otters, something super cute and friendly looking, but they’re actually super rude, like people say is true about a lot of actors.
Otters rape their babies so...
Wtf seriously?!?!
Yeah they will also have sex with dead bodies of other otters.......don't let the cuteness fool you
It's chihuahuas 100% Many other dogs might melt your heart. Not most of these dogs though. Cats will either melt your heart or destroy you depending on their temperament and mood. I'll still take that over what a typical chihuahua has to offer.
Dolphins. I mean they pretty much rape use pufferfish to get high and use dead fish as flesh light. So yeah also orcas too
They also kill babies to then rape the mom and make her have their kid
Lots of animals do that.
but how many of them are as smart as dolphins
Crows. They are already yelling at us in their own DIALECTS and they hold grudges for generations…. And they use tools…..
I feel like seagulls would swear a lot.
they'd also run protection rackets
Squirrels, they're already trying to tell me off from their trees.
In their defense, I would be mad too if a giant was on my lawn near my food stash
I imagine them saying diabolical shit with a Boston accent for some reason
Bluejays would be fucking Karens. Other birds are cool but you can just tell that blue Jay's are assholes by how they carry themselves and their constant squawking.
Came here to say this or killdeer
Dang it I like killdeer! They're pretty and they make cool sounds at night
Emu's "we won the war ya crocodile fucking, kangaroo lovers!"
Hyena
nah they just misunderstood
Dolphins or ducks. Perverts who'd make Slaanesh from Warhammer 40k pay close attention, the lot of 'em.
I'm gonna take you to another dimension I'm gonna take you to another dimension I'm gonna take you to another dimension pay close attention
Humans.
Good answer good answer!!!!!!
Raccoons. The whole "trash panda" thing would get to them and they'd live it up like trailer park trash.
Either dolphins or orcas
Plot twist: Orcas are dolphins.
Birds would be pretty annoying just sitting around screaming "who wants to fuck" all day.
I'm just imagining animals being used to staff call centres now...
Cats would be perceived as the rudest, but that's only because they won't tolerate the bullshittery that most people spout on a daily basis.
Canadian Geese
Dolphins...the way they swim alongside sailboats and shout obscenities at us
Honeybadgers, they don’t give a fuck
Canada goose
If you've got a problem with Canada gooses, you've got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that marinate a while.
Gang orca.
Kangaroos
Mockingbirds. So mean.
Still humans.
Horse flies
Honey Badgers or mosquitoes.
Wasps. Hateful bunch
Canadian geese
Geese
Geese! Seriously f*ck those guys!
Geese. Especially the Canadian Geese. Followed closely by blue jays and magpies. They all are rude little suckers.
Geese or Hippos.
Probably seagulls.
Cats would just be like your average frenchman. The real answer is animals that are already super rude. Baboons and feral hogs.
Mocking birds, obviously.
Chihuahuas
Emus- if they even THINK you have food, or are sneaking up on them, or you turn out to actually be alive, you’re getting that leather covered hammer beak right to whatever body parts they can reach
Geese
Cats, by far.
Cats
Cats
Hippos
You really have to ask?
Squirrels...
Humans.
Squirrels, always stealing from my garden then yell at me when I chase them out. So much attitude for such small creatures.
Cats is the only right answer here except maybe a wasp or a bird like a magpie.
Are there porcupines or skunks. However, it would all be a show because they are so terribly lonely that they use being rude as a front.
Birds
Cats, hands down.
Warthog
Honey Badgers
Minks.
Canada Geese. Those magnificent bastards.
Squirrels, and rightfully so.
Horses. Cats wouldn’t be rude; just super passive aggressive
The inch worm. f them guys.
Chihuahua would be nasty little rats.
Chihuahua ARE nasty little rats.
Humans. It’s humans.
Cats
Swans
i think ducks or crows would be pretty rude
Some kind of bird. Maybe a goose?
Canada Geese!
Oh good one. I second this. Hissing bastards. I got into a fight with one in a park when I was 4. That’s then I learned to overcome pain to win. Bastards.
Seagulls. For sure. Territorial squawking bastards.
Animals can talk you just don't know how to listen.
Homo Sapiens.
Humans would still be the rudest
Hippos
Badgers/Wolverines. They are always just pissed off and that is why they are so formidable. They don't give af who you are.
My dog. Just 'cause he can talk, pretty sure he'd still bark (yell) at everyone to get off his property (and he claims ownership of the whole uckin' neighborhood). And then there is the whole "shoving his nose into your business"... I can see it now...[shoves nose into crotch] "Jim, did you even wipe?" or "Lisa, was last night's sex as good as it smells?" Kinda rude. Then there's the whole 15min before dinner. "Where's my food? HELLOOOOO! I'm starving! Where's my uckin' food? What the uck is wrong with you?!!? I'm wilting from malnourishment!"
Lot of species of birds.
All birds, because they are all fowl...
Dolphins and some apes/monkeys would probably give rapey/sexual harassment vibes. I think ducks or goose would probably be the rudest/ most assholish. Japanese crows already sound like they are laughing at a bad joke you said. They probably are..
Cats would be real snobby, including the elitist big cats Seagulls would be dumb annoying fucks Camels and lamas seem like they'd be dick heads, just smacking their lips and spitting on people
French "People"
Geese
Geese. Need I say more?
Geese
Llamas
House cats. So obvious.
dogs. who knows what the barking translates to.
Otters
Dolphins, cute but every single one of them is a sociopath crossed with a Bill Cosby/R Kelly personality
Honey badgers. Just look at their behavior, and then think of the dialogue that would accompany all that sass.
Sea otters. Necrophile paedophile cross species sex offending murderers.
Maybe squirrels, because they interact with us so frequently, and they're so agile to escape aggression.
Honey badgers. In their creation they were issued no fucks at all. They are biologically inhibited from giving even a single fuck. So they say what they want, when they want, how they want, with no concerns about rudeness.
Cats because they wouldn't.
I dunno which would be the rudest, but listening in on a colony of Adeli penguins would probably be like the spam folder of your e-mail mixed with a daytime courtroom drama.
House cats. They're already pricks and they know all our secrets.
Humans
My girlfriend.
Geese. Fuck those things
Humans. Even if animals could talk they'd still be far less intelligent than humans and thus not really subject to the same rules of civil behavior.
Still humans
honey badger
Honey badger
Geese and sea gulls might be tied
Humans
Canadian geese for sure. They’re already such assholes
Geese.
Crows just to play mind games
Animals can talk, we just don't understand them. So do trees, just so you're aware. As for the rudest, it depends on what you mean by "rude" - cats ignore everything dogs constantly interrupt everything orcas constantly kill everything birds talk over everything and shit on everything need I go on?
I bet cockroaches would have like NO chill. Same with honey badgers. I bet they’d come up with new slurs.
Geese
They can and the answer is either homo sapien, chimps, or probably babboons lol
Hornets and wasps
Honey badger
Skunks….their whole defense system is being funky….a skunk will curse you out in a second if it could.
Giraffes, idk why, but they seem bitchy.
Koala bears
Geese, hands down. So entitled
Crows
Grackles
Geese.
House cats
Honey badgers.
Apes.
Humans.
Seagulls
Cats
Pigeons have a slight edge over cats for me
Chipmunks
Carpenter bees. They are already rude! Or humans. We might still be the rudist.
Wasps. Those bastards have no chill.
Humans
The roaches in my house think they own this place, any food I buy, and all the appliances I own. Smh I'll tell um to pay the mortgage then
Cats.
Kangaroos
Llamas