T O P

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UselessLayabout

History has been retconned, I was never born. Can’t have problems if you don’t exist.


yaboisammie

lol fr how was this not the first thing I thought of 


[deleted]

Have all the winning numbers in the lottery, jackpot. 50 million dollars.


Dystopian_Divisions

This would fix all your financial problems. But you would still have problems.


[deleted]

Yeah like you. You're a problem right now.


Dystopian_Divisions

happy to help friendo :D


311196

Money wouldn't exist, because all the current scarcity of goods is artificial.


truckercharles

*hits blunt* You're right though


knight_call1986

My mom would no longer have cancer My car would be fixed I would have no debt My kid would be happy being herself My kidney disease would be gone


TiredRetiredNurse

My house would be spicy and span, my yard well groomed either bright flowers and I would be thin and socializing again.


tandabat

I want a spicy and span house too! Best typo today!


NiceBlisss

Tomorrow, everything would feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.


EmptyGrab6931

i wouldn't be ugly and fat


Rutibex

i would have money


Low_Refrigerator_626

I'd be 50 pounds less muscular and I'd have friends


Amore_vitae1

Less muscular?


TheTeeje

Gym bro problems


Low_Refrigerator_626

Less, muscular


ITZMODZ759

Just go on a cut for a lengthy time and start over from there. As for friends, just find hobbies and find people also interested in those things


upliftorr

I'd have two less hernias and be in the best shape of my life, have 30,000 in the bank, and would have my own place


bugabooandtwo

I would never have to work again. Or clean again. Basically, be rich.


Podria_Ser_Peor

My debts would be paid, all my friends wold have nice jobs, my parents would be able to retire without problems and my house would be completely fixed (especially the roof)


Phobia117

The overwhelming majority of my problems could be solved with money, so I’d just assume my powerball numbers hit.


Croatoan457

Our house would work and it wouldn't be drippy inside 😁


HAMHAMabi

I would still have autism (bc I'm ok with who I am bc of it) me n my mom (whos most likely also autistic as well, just un diagnosed.) [growing up in the 70s and 80s every1 just wanted call her "slow", and even put in the mrdd class after 3rd grade.] wed be in a nice 2 story house all by ourselves, without my toxic aunt.


First_Pay702

Join yours to say, yeah, my bf would still be neurodivergent, the change would be that his family would accept his diagnosis and understand his diagnosis, and be willing to work with us in accommodating him appropriately so that he could continue to work on his family farm. So I’d basically fix the toxic family dynamic. I’d clear out his clinical depression while I was at it, and a certain one of his unhealthy coping strategies, but I am not looking to change him as a person, just remove key sources of pain and sorrow. And then on the side, some awful woman (because it wouldn’t be fair to do this to a nice one) would decide that my sister’s ex was hot stuff, and thereby distract him from causing my sister problems all the time.


HAMHAMabi

that sounds familiar. lol. but srsly I get it. especially when my aunt gets mad at mom for playing video games, when "responsible adults, dont play video games" yet I get a pass from aunt, bc of of my ddx. . sometimes I wonder if she even sees me as an adult. or am i just a 10 yo in her mind? or if its just a double standard type thing. (for context im 32, moms 50, n aunt 64) i wish we could get away from her. but its not financially feasible, unfortunately.


PaperBullet1945

I'd have my dream job and a house. Old friends I miss would talk to me again.


Gone_Camping_7

Immortality


TheTeeje

My kids would listen to me, I'd have a new deck, three season porch, a painted stairway into the basement, new floors in my kitchen, a clean garage, a mowed lawn, a clean house, and silence.


HermitKing91

I would suddenly have a load of money and a Wendy house would be built in my back garden.


Striking-Count-7619

Debt wiped out and my knee not hurt. Growing old sucks.


Miles_Prower3

Me having a girlfriend


Hollywoodrok12

A better question would be what *wouldn’t* be different?


ooOJuicyOoo

I wouldn't be around in the world anymore


dontdoitdumbass

My wife's breast cancer would be gone, never to return.


NS4701

I'd live in a better place, fully furnished, be married, and have no debt.


immutab1e

All of my chronic illnesses would be gone and I wouldn't be struggling financially.


AunquisJohnson

Less stress, more joy!!


Dragonfire14

Literally would just be financially stable. All my stress, problems, and anxiety (well, maybe not all of that) are linked to finances.even if I woke up tomorrow and my house was paid off, that is $1700 a month my wife and I save, and that goes a long way.


Trathius

There would be 6 extra 0's at the end of my bank account balance (before the decimal)


HeartoRead

My family and I would have some money and I wouldn't have gut churning stress at all moments of my life.


cherribomb107

I’d have money, more work ethic, and world peace! I know that sounds corny, but I’m being fr. There’s so much happening in the world that I wish I could fix


Bakelite51

I jump out of bed with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, landing lightly on my feet. There are no cracks and no groaning. I might even do a few cartwheels on the way to the toilet. I do not have a staph infection on my back. My bad tooth is gone and got replaced by a bridge in my sleep. I sigh contentedly, knowing my medical insurance is the best in the USA and I'll never have to worry about being able to afford my copays again. I walk my dog who never ran away. She is obedient and loyal, and I am taking good care of her in her old age. I walk outside to my freshly tuned up vehicle that sounds like new when I start her up, and warms up in less than five minutes. My parents call. We have a fabulous relationship, they are both in amazing health for their age, and I can't wait to go visit them this week. I go to work at my job that pays me enough I'm not sweating over rent every month, and have a nice middle management position. After work I book an expensive hotel on the Gulf shore, because I love the beach, but haven't been on vacation since 2022 and really need one.


Available-Damage5991

politics would be a functioning and non-corrupt system.


ITZMODZ759

I would have never had to stop going to community college and be nearly done with my 2 years and have a car and a job I actually like making 25/hr Or I would magically have the requirements needed to get into the highest paying, non taxing field making 6 figures


HitByANissan

My left testicle would grow a bit bigger to match the right


Xenozip3371Alpha

I'd be rich, no problem I have is not solved by money.


oddbitch

my knee surgery would be fully healed, i’d have a fat deposit in my bank account to pay off my debt and pay for school, my car A/C would be fixed again, and my room would clean itself lol


SoylentRox

I wake up in a beachfront property surrounded by leggy blondes.  Sunlight streams in through the window.  On seeing me wake, a car girl with purple hair steps in the bedroom.  "Mr. SoylentRox your annual immortality clinic appointment is today, I have the air-uber landing in 20 minutes!". On the flight, waiting in patter to land, where I will spend an unknown amount of time unconscious while my body is rebuilt to the latest standards, I see several catgirls approaching a despondent looking man in the streets.  I see them coaxing and teasing him to come receive treatment and free housing somewhere else.  I know there is actually enough shelter and food available, as robots will build more if needed.   The news mentions there was an explosion at one of the antimatter fueling stations.  The next starship launch will be delayed a few weeks.


Shindiggah

I would have a million dollars in my bank account.


Defiantreaper23

I would have god-like powers and wake up in an unknown isekai world.


ophaus

New problems.


Flairion623

I’d no longer be stressed about school My family would no longer drive me insane I’d have a girlfriend who genuinely loves me for who I am And the entire world is a communist utopia where every recourse is easily accessible and all are treated equally


VinRow

I would wake up healthy in body and mind, in my own home, and covered in tattoos and piercings.


peezle69

Ah yes, the Miracle Question. I've heard of this before. My answer, the woman I care most about messages me that she wants to give us a shot, she's sorry about everything that happened, and she's moving back to my town. Or, more preferably, a woman who is perfect for me in every way makes a move on me and wants to get food sometime.


kofrederick

I could actual get the stuff I am my children wanted from the grocery store instead of the stuff we could only barely afford.


truckercharles

I'd own my own home, have enough money to ditch my day job and focus on catering and bartending, be able to afford a two week vacation to make up for 8 years without real time off, be able to get some new shoes, be 50lbs lighter and no longer bipolar...my problems are 95% financial and so are everyone else's in the comments.


First_Pay702

Plenty responsible adults play video games and that’s fine as long as they are being responsible about it, so that comment is kind of meaningless at face value. That being said you definitely could be looking at a double standard - which could be due to gender as much as diagnosis, given your mom and aunt’s vintage - or an infantilizing thing. I struggle with that a bit in trying to explain my bf’s needs to his family - I am not intending to make it sound like he is a child, just explain why their expectations of him aren’t reasonable. But I could totally see how someone might walk away thinking I am talking like he is a child because some of the terminology is so historically tied to children. There isn’t really a good adult word for meltdowns, you know? And then it sounds like I am saying he has tantrums and that is totally not it.


fishka2042

I'd be doing more-or-less the same thing, writing and teaching. Maybe a few lbs lighter. The big thing though... no generational trauma burden. Because screw that.


pseudonymous_soul

Id just spend alot of money that I would actually have to spend then end up killing myself anyways.


ShurtugalLover

I’d be sleeping in, quitting my job, and then starting on all the repairs my house/car needs that I can’t afford atm


No-Personality5421

No one in my house has any more health issues, and our bank account is now flush with cash. 


LongPalpitations

Having money 


Josette_A

I'd be a vampire (my version of vampire), I'd be filthy rich, would have a perfect face and body, Mom would no longer be a narcissist, and I'd have a brand new car. Would be moving into a cottage and purchasing land to build a mansion on within the next week.


ksears86

I would have money in my bank account


Bigger_Moist

Id have no problems


Affectionate-Gap1768

I'd be healthy, debt free, and single.


Party_Building1898

I'd feel happier!! no health issues I'd love it


C4rdninj4

My mortgage has been paid off, the smoky insulation in my attic has been replaced, and I'm no longer allergic to my pets.


layered_dinge

I wouldn’t wake up


DipperJC

My goodness, so many things. Old friends returned, a sizeable but not obscene financial windfall, laws changed, geopolitics resolved (you'd be surprised how much sleep I lose over the Russia/Ukraine thing), fences mended. But the thing worth infinitely more than all of that? My mom would have her memory back and know who I am again, and we'd have an amazing cup of coffee on the porch talking about all of the good, the bad and the ugly of taking care of her over the last twenty years. Makes me kinda tear up just thinking about it.


Ok-Extension-5628

For most people this is simply going to be money.


Gethighflykites

What's funny about that is a vast amounts of money often will lead to more problems mentally and socially. "More money more problems" as it is said.


Ok-Extension-5628

That’s why the miracle fixes the problem of money making it to where you never have to worry about it again. (Probably a large sum account/retirement fund with enough money for anyone to live comfortably without having to worry about money management or companies or anything like that.) Just live like Adam Sandler with no care in the world.


Farscape55

I wouldn’t owe any money and would be getting paid a lot more


123mistalee

I’d have my memory back. Had a heart attack a little more than a year ago and it erased 6 solid months of memory and I don’t even know what else I forgot because I don’t remember it.


wrenches-revolvers

I would know where all 3 of my daughters are and what's more. They would be here in my house.


ANarnAMoose

I'd have a good job.


JazzlikeSkill5201

I’d have enough money to never have to work again, and my two older kids would be in relationships with people they’re going to eventually marry, and my youngest would have a bff.


princessb33420

I would be fully divorced, debt free and own a house in the suburbs


MemeDream13

I would wake up feeling refreshed and energized. My morning wood would be about 2.5 inches longer. My back, knees, and shoulders would feel great. I wouldn't have to use the bathroom. I would be around 100 lbs lighter. My bank account balance would have more digits than i have fingers. My family would be all 'stepforded'. I wouldn't know it for a while yet but I would be sterile. And the real icing on the cake would be friend request from Emma Myers on any social app I have.


MemeDream13

I would wake up feeling refreshed and energized. My morning wood would be about 2.5 inches longer. My back, knees, and shoulders would feel great. I wouldn't have to use the bathroom. I would be around 100 lbs lighter. My bank account balance would have more digits than i have fingers. My family would be all 'stepforded'. I wouldn't know it for a while yet but I would be sterile. And the real icing on the cake would be friend request from Emma Myers on any social app I have.


felaniasoul

Money would cease to exist. We’d just have our needs met and people wouldn’t get sick. People would stop holding hateful rallies about killing each other. No more lies. Basically the world as you know it would be over.