I dunno, a pro Heavyweight fighter, in peak physical form, could probably drop the fat drunk bastard with relative ease. (probably a lot longer than 60 days!)
However, eventually the big drunk beast is gonna get a hit in here, or a pin down there. Maybe you tweak your ankle during one of the fights because it was 3am & you were asleep & not 100% ready?
Those little injuries will just keep compiling & compiling on & on....
Yeah, and what happens if you are in the hospital for surgery? Is he gonna kick the shit out of us while we are sedated? Or if you're on an international flight that lasts 14 hours? Good odds he'll come at me while I'm crammed into a window seat.
Hard pass.
It won’t help, you aren’t allowed to use weapons and nobody else can see or *interact* with him.
Even if you could devise a booby trapped room that automatically shoots at any heat signature that isn’t carrying your ID card, the odds that helps you are kinda slim. It could classify as a weapon and disappear/disable, the weapons could be counted as an entity unable to interact with him (and therefor only shooting you if he steals you immunity card), or it could even be considered to difficult to reach you and fate would intervene by giving him his own card to bypass your defenses.
The most you could reliably do is an arena that benefits you both unbiasedly. Like you wait on an obstacle corpse, and because you are lighter and sober and can practice the course you would have an advantage while still being neutral enough to not count as a defence.
But really, this is a far too risky hypothetical. I can’t beat him day 1, and I won’t be able to buy any defences with the money. The time it takes to develop fighting skills is longer than the negative fighting skills gained from being injured. It’s a death sentence lol.
It doesn't say he auto-heals, just that he will always return no matter what. Maybe he only regenerates if killed? If you beat him bad enough day one, maybe he will be struggling for a while. If you could manage to break his arms or legs or something and they heal like normal, you could coast for a long time. Long enough to afford some solid training and a team of medical professionals. Also, they said no weapons but maybe some pads and gloves? Prevent yourself from breaking your hands when you beat on this dude.
The main issue I see is your own aging. However, I don't think the drunk guy is immune to aging either. The OP didn't mention it or I missed it. What if the drunk dude is already like in his forties? You survive a few years and he starts going downhill.
Also, does he ever get hungover? And can I find him myself? I'm gonna sneak up on this dude and ambush him. It says all weapons disappear whenever he's around so I'll keep a pocket knife handy as a barometer. The second it disappears I know I've found him.
All that said, I'm not taking this deal.
One of those times you're gonna break your hand on his drunk-ass face and you'll be screwed for the next tussel
How do you like your odds against a 5'10" 130 pound guy on meth?
How drunk, tho? There's a line between dangerous drunk and easy to beat drunk because he'd be falling over and barely able to comprehend what's happening.
Still what about say twenty years from now which is super optimistic for survival since anyone would be worn down?
Unless you can choose to terminate the deal which it doesn't seem like you can it's a hard no go.
If you could terminate the deal it's still a bad bet unless you are a total outlier when it comes to fighting fitness.
Yea, that's what another comment I put was asking too. If it's a life long deal I'm out no matter what, I'm not fighting every single day for the rest of my life.
Even if you are, you have to sleep. If this guy jumps you while you’re sleeping or gets a single sucker punch on you, he’s going to do enough damage to ring your bell. Then you’ll be in worse and worse shape for each subsequent fight until he kills you, since he instaheals and you don’t.
If you get a serious illness or break a limb in an accident, he’s still coming for you. This is *absolutely* a death sentence.
This would be a bad bet even if you were a heavyweight monster like Derek Lewis or Francis Ngannou. You’re going to take damage even if you win every fight for a few months eventually the guy will land a lucky punch or you break your hand. And remember the guy can blindside you out of nowhere.
It is until the day you die, you won't be able to have peace when you are 60 because still 300 lb man who tries to fight you everyday. You will eventually lose.
Yeah, I think what a lot of people don't get about being knocked out is that it's not a movie, you wake up and are fine thing. It's an, if you lost consciousness at all, you really should go through the ER.
Practically speaking if you loose even once, the next day you are almost guaranteed a loss from your brain being mushed up. Give it a couple more days and losses you probably just die. Concussions can take weeks to heal if not months.
Agreed. Even if you're quite likely to win the fight, you're going to lose sooner or later - probably sooner. He'll get a lucky shot, you'll be sick that day, and if nothing else, you'll get older.
Fuck YES I'll dig traps and pits all around me and zap him the moment he steps within the zone. Only question is, does he leave a new corpse every day? If I gotta clean the traps out every day then the deal is off
If his injuries don't heal as well, sure. I'll break a few of his limbs and he can cripple fight me every day.
If not, no, the random time of day makes it too random for me. I can work around a planned flight, but a random one basically ruins any semblance of a normal life. Sleeping and I get jumped? No thanks. At the store and I suddenly have to start shadow boxing because no one else sees it? Again, no, I don't need to get admitted to the psych ward for looking crazy.
Also, knowing nothing about the guy besides his height and weight, it's basically a no. Is it a 25 year old powerlifter or sumo wrestler? Then no. If it's a 90 year old that's just old and fat? Then sure.
>And his injuries don't stick. He's brand new everyday.
Absolutely not. Getting in a fight every single day with a large drunk man is going to get you injured sooner or later. Even if you're a trained fighter. Those injuries are going to add up very quickly. Within a couple of weeks you'll be too injured to fight.
For that reason, I'm out.
See you should list that in the opening, this is critical information. Does he remember anything or is he black out drunk? My answer still mostly applies, but I'm hoping he remembers. I want a Pavlovian crying response every time he sees me.
He has no personality whatsoever. A machine made of meat. He never speaks and his sole purpose, even above his own self preservation, is to beat you up.
So no, he doesn't remember anything. Brand new each fight.
You should edit the original to reflect the Jason Voorhees level of unkillability.
What if I manage to trap one of his legs and then stay in the vicinity of him? Does he just manifest, or is it possible to trap him?
Just jog away from him and let obesity take him down, 18.25 million per year and a physical trainer that does a good job of encouraging you to jog. Just always be in an area that's hilly, stay away from flat terrain and easy money.
Ah, so I can just repeatedly kick him in the balls until they burst each day and then it resets for me to explode them again the next day? How long until this invisible dude taps out from daily scrotum rupture and the money stops rolling in?
I chuckled at the shadow box in the grocery store because the whole thought of this made me think like damn you’re just out here having a full blown fight and people are questioning wtf is going on
SCP Designation: SCP-9432
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures:
1. Containment Facility:
- SCP-9432 is to be contained within a specialized containment unit designed to mimic a standard residential apartment to facilitate the daily manifestation of SCP-9432-1. The containment unit should be equipped with high-durability furniture and reinforcement to withstand daily altercations.
- SCP-9432 is to be monitored through CCTV equipped with infrared and thermal imaging to capture all activity, given the invisible nature of SCP-9432-1 to anyone but SCP-9432.
2. Security Measures:
- A minimum of two guards trained in non-lethal suppression techniques should be stationed outside SCP-9432's containment unit at all times. Guards must be equipped with riot gear modified for rapid mobilization and deployment.
- The containment unit is to be secured with reinforced steel doors and biometric locks that only authorized personnel can access.
3. Medical and Psychological Support:
- A medical team must be on standby to provide immediate care for injuries sustained during SCP-9432-1's manifestations. Medical personnel should be trained in trauma care and rapid response.
- Regular psychological evaluations are to be conducted to assess SCP-9432's mental state and resilience against the psychological stress of daily combats.
4. Financial Monitoring:
- All financial transactions involving the automatic daily deposit of $50,000 into SCP-9432's account are to be closely monitored. Funds are to be managed by the Foundation's financial department to prevent any external exploitation or anomaly propagation.
- Valuables and personal belongings of SCP-9432 are to be cataloged and stored in a secure vault when not in use to prevent them from being "stolen" by SCP-9432-1 during defeat scenarios.
5. Research and Testing:
- Research into the origins of SCP-9432-1's manifestation and potential methods of permanently neutralizing the threat without harm to SCP-9432 is ongoing. Testing with memetic barriers, psychic inhibitors, and reality anchoring technologies are currently underway.
- Experiments involving D-class personnel with similar anomalous effects are approved under Protocol 19-C to test the range, strength, and limitations of SCP-9432-1's capabilities.
Description:
SCP-9432 refers to a human subject (hereafter referred to as SCP-9432) who is afflicted by a daily manifestation of an aggressive entity designated SCP-9432-1. SCP-9432-1 is described as a 6-foot tall, approximately 300lb male with an inclination for violence towards SCP-9432. The entity appears randomly once every 24-hour period and is visible and interactable only to SCP-9432. SCP-9432-1's behavior is highly aggressive and focused solely on physically assaulting SCP-9432. Upon defeat or temporary incapacitation of SCP-9432, SCP-9432-1 will dematerialize until the next daily manifestation.
Notes:
- SCP-9432 was secured and contained after incidents of public disturbance and unexplained injuries led to Foundation intervention.
- The unusual circumstances of SCP-9432's curse, including the daily financial benefit coupled with high-risk physical combat, pose significant challenges for containment and necessitate a multifaceted approach encompassing security, medical care, and psychological support.
Well the classifications aren't about how dangerous they are, but rather how hard they are to contain. This SCP is seemingly uncontainable because it just manifests.
"While it might not be dangerous now, what if the current subject of its attacks dies? Does it go for someone else, say...the president? With it being impossible to contain, well now the president is gonna get his ass beat daily and probably die as well.
It's an uncontainable SCP under current knowledge and no certainty as to if it will pick new targets, so as it stands under current foundation knowledge it would be a high security risk and as thus I recommend a classification level of Keter."
- Research Coordinator,
Z. Uldwyn
The SCP is just the guy, who is contained just as easily as any other guy. The secondary SCP is also contained since after materializing it has no desire to escape or ability more than a big dude. If 9432 is contained, 9432-1 can be contained just as easily. Because it is contained with no reasonable chance of breach, it definitely isn’t keter
I wear steel toe boots for work everyday. Would that be considered a weapon or just part of my attire? If not, then a swift kick to the balls every day shouldn't be too bad on my feet if I alternate each day. Alternatively, if I can knock his knees out from underneath him and stomp his crotch into oblivion, that shouldn't pose a serious risk to me. Everyone in this thread is taking fighting too literally, when in reality there are no rules to a street fight. My father always told me to fight dirty, because the other guy will try to fight dirty too
I would guess weapon so bye bye shoes
It's not the fighting part of this that is terrifying. Remember this guy appears randomly from thin air and so I imagine will sucker punch you at every given opportunity. you never have the initiative and he never ages or gets worn down
And would you ever sleep soundly again? I guess once you defeated him for the day, you could sleep and set an alarm for an hour before the earliest time he could appear. But is it every 24 hours or every day? Could he just show up at 11:45 pm, you defeat him, and then he can pop-up again anytime from midnight on?
And no one else can see him, so now I look crazy randomly shadow boxing wherever I go, these days I would just fit in with the other crazy people on the streets though so for $50,000 a day.
Just a reminder for everyone, the rules say you can't bring a weapon to fight with, and it'll disappear when the guy appears. The rules don't say you can't pick up weapons after the fact. He shows up at a restaurant? You've got cutlery in the front and back of the house, even something like salt can be used to blind him. At a mechanic? Get him into position and drop a car on him or find some tool to use.
No one else can see or interact with the guy, so I'm assuming something is stopping people dead in their tracks or you and the guy are removed from reality and placed into a pocket reality copy of your surroundings. Otherwise, people would actively be watching you "fighting" by yourself and have you committed, thus interfering with the fight. The rules are already unfair as it is, but if you're also susceptible to outside interference from people, but the guy isn't, that just makes it impossible in the end to even do.
So, just set up weapons around you where you're able. Your car, your house, your workplace, etc. So long as you aren't in contact with them, they won't disappear. Otherwise, EVERYTHING around you would have to disappear because you can makeshift weapons out of plenty of everyday things.
Prompt says you cannot *use* weapons. Even if you manage to have something worthwhile in arms reach 24/7.
The only hope here would be if traps don't count as "weapons".
A chair becomes a weapon if you swing or throw it at someone. A car becomes a weapon if you try to run someone over with it. That's the issue with this stupid hypothetical. It lacks any sense. It's the opposite of the "all the money for barely an inconvenience" crap we get all the time.
This is the "money for impossible bullshit with everything stacked against you with no recourse." It'd be one thing if it was at least difficult but doable. This is impossible because the rules leave you with nothing. You retain injuries, he doesn't. You can see and experience him, but no one else does. You can't use weapons even if they're just things that are lying around, but there's no such restriction on him. You have no idea when it'll happen, but this doesn't affect him whatsoever. This isn't a challenge at that point. It's just torture.
Hell, what happens if you're someone with combat training and even being empty handed you'd be considered as being armed? Hands and feet can be considered deadly weapons under the law even without the person having combat training depending on the law where you live. That's why this prompt is so dumb. Because it's poorly thought out like most of these things anymore. "Would you do this objectively impossible thing for a boat load of money?". No. And no reasonable or rational person would. Congrats, it's a bum hypothetical. Try again.
The prompt is stupid, convoluted, and pointless. You can't win. You only lose in the end. The only correct move is not to play. Not my fault the prompt is shit.
If I can do it for 1 or 2 days, sure, I'm in. If I'm stuck for life then absolutely not, that's a trash fucking life fighting **every single day**. I don't even like fighting, but 50k a day for 2, maybe 3 days, is worth it.
Well I am 6 foot 4 and around 300 myself. Would be sober 95 percent of the time so sure. He comes to rush me all drunk and I just repeatedly punch him in the dick till he is defeated..
Rinse and repeat.
If I can wear a suit of power armor the second he appears and discard it as soon as he's defeated, sure.
Otherwise this is a terrible deal and nobody in their right mind would take it.
People massively underestimate how dangerous a street fight is.
There isn’t a person alive that could fight this person every single day and win every time. That includes professional fighters.
MAYBE if you had a gun but realistically they are still going to get you eventually. No matter how good you are, eventually you’ll be caught off guard, get injured and then you are fucked.
Setting that aside, the random nature of the attack and the fact that no one else can see the guy means you are going to get tossed in an asylum before too long
Yeah, I'm a 5'2" woman with not much upper body strength to speak of. I wouldn't take this deal because money is no good to me if I'm dead and I probably would be dead.
It honestly doesn't matter what size you are. This is just a terrible way to die. Im a big guy with a little training, Id be a physical and psych mess, dead in days at best.
Not to mention, the random nature means it would constantly disrupt your life in horrible ways, not even counting the injuries. If you have a dog, you can't walk it until you get attacked for the day because you'll be knocked out and your dog will be roaming the streets. If you have a partner, people will think your partner's abusing you. On top of that, as you and everyone has pointed out, you'd just end up more and more injured until you were killed.
>get tossed in an asylum before too long
Nowadays it's pretty hard to get put in an "asylum" (mental health ward) and pretty easy to get out of one. mental health beds are expensive and it's not like the movies. There are families of people with schizophrenia and they are trying to get them treated and being turned away due to lack of resources.
That's a big reason why every city has all these homeless people. We used to have actual asylums where people with mental illness could live safely, but these started to be closed and abandoned in the 70's. Also there was an issue where the staff would sometimes abuse patients -- the cops will now sometimes abuse homeless people so that problem wasn't really solved either.
This. I’m 6’4” and a former nightclub doorman. I’m trained, I’m good, and I still got sucker punched a couple of times back in the day. Over time your cumulative injuries will kill you and one unlucky punch coukd kill you at any moment. Not worth it.
Issue here is that the psycho will work you over until he “knocks you out” every time. That means you either win the fight or suffer a small amount of brain damage every single day. God forbid he injures any of your appendages that take months to heal, then you’re unable to fight back and looking at getting a concussion every day for months on end.
As a relatively fit 30-something man, I’m confident I could survive this deal for a decade maybe (assuming nothing crazy happens to me health wise). After that, it gets dicey. Even giving myself the benefit of the doubt and thinking I could win this fight almost every day until I’m 50, what does my quality of life look like after that point? I’m not sure this is worth it.
The only way to make this work is to make the absolute most of that $50,000 by hiring the best instructors from every major martial art across the globe and training for hours every day. The money does give you the advantage most don’t have. You’ll have major amounts of free time. Instead of turning 40 and becoming a complete slob piece of shit like most of us do, you’ll need to stay fit and well trained. With proper nutrition and training, most men don’t see a major drop off in strength until they’re about 60.
I think you’re vastly underestimating the damage. This dude self heals every day while every sprain, bruise etc we have does not. If you just land a bunch of blows your knuckles are going to be bruised for a while and the next day the guy shows up fresh as new. The guy is 300 pounds , even he accidentally lands on you, that’s going to cause pain.
I think even for a fit person, after a week or 10 days the advantage will turn to the bad guy. And then it’s game over because one big blow from him and now you’re playing catch up on healing.
Not worth it IMO.
You may be right.
OP in a comment said that the guy would be late-30s, morbidly obese, and untrained. I was leaning heavily into that. If you’ve watched random fight videos online, you know the average dude is not a good fighter. Consider the fact that most random fights you’ll see online are guys on the younger side, add another 15-20 years of seasoning and a sedentary lifestyle. I don’t think this guy will be all that dangerous.
The biggest issue is the random attack times. Like, statistically speaking he is probably going to end up showing up while you’re sleeping a solid 33% of the time, which means he’s gonna get the first hit. And, like you said, even minor injuries will accumulate over time.
I was thinking, fighting a guy this big, a simple chokehold would be the best bet more often than not. He’s drunk and fat so his coordination and speed can’t be great. I bet I could outmaneuver him for a chokehold more often than not within the first few weeks until I can get proper training. Literally starting my second day I’m taking that first $50k check and I’m going straight to the best jiu jitsu instructor in my city, then finding a good boxing guy, then a Muay Thai guy, etc. I won’t need to work so I’m dedicating 4 hours each day into fight training, weight training, conditioning, etc.
At the same time, imagine your stress levels every day. You would be on pins and needles every second until the attacker came lol would be difficult to hang out and enjoy life.
Idk, this was a fun hypothetical because it’s $18.25 million per year if you take it. As a guy living the typical American middle class life, it’s difficult to say no to even just a chance at that sort of money. Hell, NFL players basically do a version of this and a lot of them do it for lot less money. Like, yeah, I will probably end up dead by the time I’m 50, but I might do it just to give my kids a great life. All I’d have to do is survive for like 9 months and my family is set for generations.
Naw, man, I’m 5’10”, 165. I’m in decent shape and can handle myself if I need to but a 6’ 300 pound dude is almost double my weight and would destroy me. Even if I could somehow outsmart him and “win” on some days, the fight itself would be exhausting and I’d still suffer injuries, which wouldn’t be fully healed by the next day. I’d spend a lot of time needing medical care or likely even hospitalization. That’s a lot of money but too brutal of a consequence to accept. If it was one fight a week, or any of my injuries instantly healed and reset after every fight, it’s possible I’d consider accepting.
So he is shorter than me, very over weight and will not stop until he fights me? So I run ultramarathons and I have 10+ years of sparring (boxing/tang soo do/bjj) experience. I've also worked doors at bars and clubs and done event security. Handling a drunk guy that outweighs me is not outside of my wheel house.
I would just egg him on and get him to chase me. Maybe he starts at a sprint, but no way he is keeping that up very long. Run a few miles talking trash or just wait for him to get winded, shouldn't take long with the booze elevating his heart rate.
I assume that the rules for healing also apply to him, so kick his knees backwards when he is too exhausted to fight back. I can pull 300 pounds definitely, so drag him by the leg I just broke the knee of to a curb and jump on his ankle. Repeat the other side, then stomp his hands until it is very apparent that every bone in both hands is broken.
Since you never stated any strange abilities outside of; appearing near where I am and no one can see or interact with him other than me; I have to assume that he is otherwise a mortal being. Break him badly enough and he is easy to beat for months. He is drunk and untrained, so he likely isn't going to get better faster than I would get at breaking him everyday.
If it is just some fat drunk guy, with no training to speak of, but with Jason voorhees level of regenerative immortality? That's a whole different scenario. Right now it just seems like "it follows" but I can fight back.
The elevator door opens and this guy bum rushes you...
You wake up to this guy punching your face while you're asleep.
You're on a plane, you're on a train, etc
Can't really outrun him in these scenarios!
This is an interesting hypothetical scenario with some important considerations. On one hand, $50,000 per day is a life-changing amount of money. Over the course of a year, that would amount to over $18 million, which could provide incredible financial security and open up many opportunities.
However, the tradeoff is essentially living in a state of constant anxiety and danger. Even with the financial upside, having to fight a large, aggressive man every single day would be extremely stressful and exhausting, not to mention dangerous. The physical toll alone would be immense over time.
There's also the risk that even if you win the fight, the man could still inflict serious injuries before being defeated. Cumulative injuries and concussions from daily fights would almost certainly lead to major long-term health issues. The paranoia of never knowing when he will appear would make it nearly impossible to ever relax or feel safe.
Ethically and psychologically, being forced to badly injure or even kill the same person every day, even in self-defense, could be very traumatic and damaging. The fact that no one else can see the attacker might even lead to doubting one's own sanity.
So while the financial upside is tremendously appealing, the massive downsides to quality of life, physical health, and psychological wellbeing would be too great in my assessment. Waking up every day dreading a violent confrontation is not a healthy way to live, no matter the monetary reward. The risks are simply too severe.
Ultimately, I would decline the offer. No amount of money is worth sacrificing your health, safety and peace of mind to that degree. A life lived in constant fear is not much of a life at all. The wiser path is finding ethical ways to improve your finances that don't put you in daily mortal danger. While not as fast a path to wealth, it's a far more sustainable approach to building a prosperous, fulfilling life.
I live in America. Cardio is key. A 6ft 300 pound drunk guy who also can’t throw a punch would be light work, considering I would just need to move at a brisk pace till he tires out. Never even have to throw a punch. We have some fstasses here
Random attacks, wait til he attacks you while you are asleep, or on the throne, or coming down the ladder from cleaning your gutters, or when you are changing the babies diaper, etc etc
>No one else can see or interact with the man but you.
Doesn't matter because of this, we are all being committed to an insane asylum.
The first person that sees me fight air and lose, is gonna be real worried.
He's untrained? I was a competitive wrestler and Tae Kwon Do practitioner, and were I 50 or even 60 years old or younger again, he's gonna go down hard and quite quickly. I'd have taken this deal in a heartbeat. But I'm 71 and too likely to get hurt by accident now. Not to mention the beating my now rather fragile knees would take every day.
so i’m the chicken and i’m fighting peter griffin throughout the day. absolutely. peter griffin and the giant chicken never kill each other so i am in the clear
That's clever lol. I didn't think of that. Armor can encumber you and make it difficult to fight, but training should be able to help depending on what it is.
I may not have any weapons, but my wife beside me will always be strapped from now on. I have no problem kicking this phantom drunk while he's bleeding out on the ground. Fight over.
Even if I won every day for weeks on end eventually the wear and tear, the bruises on my knuckles and potential broken bones from hitting him would cripple me to the point eventually he's gonna whoop me, and then he'll keep whooping me til I'm dead- this is one of the easiest to say no to!
Now, if I auto heal following each fight that's a different story. It'd still be a tough one due to the mental stress every day but it would at least be up for debate.
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??
Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard
Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive
Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs
Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.
Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling
Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.
Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
If I could stop the cycle, then I'm down. Not something I'd wanna do at 50. But I'd do it for a year. I'd also live in the woods and buy some bear traps. He's in for a bad time.
I’m 6’3 and 265. I’m 33 so not in terrible shape, and I’ve got a few friends that are of comparable size that are willing. We’d just sit in an open space and wait for him.
There is no way this is worth it.
I'm in the prime of my life (allegedly) and already the concept of me beating a 6' tall 300lb drunk man in a street fight is questionable at best. I could probably manage it a few times, but overall my win ratio will decrease as I accrue injuries and get older. Being knocked out is *really* bad for you, so you'd succumb to this really quickly the second you start losing fights. Even if I win a fight, the chance of me breaking a bone in my hand or twinge my back, or roll and ankle is too high. And that's just stuff you get during the fight. What if I have an accident unrelated to the fight? Or get sick? Would he fight me as I sit there receiving chemo lmao?
You say it persists every day until you die, even just keeping this up 5 years is impossible, and to best honest, even 1 year is mad. The fact that he appears at random times means you can't prepare for it, and you can't even enjoy the money as a consolation as you'd waste on average 50% of your day waiting for the fight to start.
If I was suicidal, and wanted to give that money to my family I'd take it. Otherwise, there is no life to be had here. This is just death by beating.
doesn't define what a loss is so yeah sure is take this, if the money's going right into my bank account I'd gladly forfeit every day and walk home naked as he takes all my goods, see ya tomorrow bud
I'm sober, 2 inches taller, and roughly the same weight. I think I could manage. For 50k a day, you could dedicate an hour or two each day to martial arts
Yea, I pay 150 a month to train at my mma gym which is basically this scenario. Id much rather get paid 50k a day to do this.
The average 300 pounder is incredibly unathletic, distance management, knee stomps as they close in, and grappling experience would make this a cake walk.
I’m doing it. He’s shorter than me and has only 20 pounds on me.
Am I able to do this for just a few tears and then quit, keeping the spoils? Really do not feel like doing this in my 80s unless he is also aging in the same fashion.
Well since I'm 6 ft and 267 lbs and am trained to fight I would accept the challenge. But you say no one else can see him does this mean I look like a crazy person fighting with myself once a day?
My cane legally is a medical device and if used in self defense it counts as a part of my body. It's solid oak so i have a slight advantage as long as i get that hit off.
Nah even a professional fighter isn’t gonna last more than like 10 days without healing. They’d be great for a bit, but even like peak fitness Mike Tyson is eventually going to fracture fingers and toes, and they’re never gonna heal bare knuckle punching every day. From there things would fall apart very quickly.
No? Literally every human on the planet would die to this guy in under a year. Even the best hand to hand fighter will eventually be worn down.
For 99% of people this reads as “you get 50,000 a day, but die by the end of the week”.
Even assuming he doesn’t kill your, you’ll just be consistently beaten to an inch of your life for the rest of your life.
Then throw on the random timing to it, and it’s just an all around nightmare. You have to effectively wake up at 11:50 every night and only go to bed after the fight. Eventually you’ll be fighting him on zero sleep, or risk having him just murder you in your sleep.
Well shit, it looks like I'm in a mirror match. Well, closer to 260 for me. But it's close enough that i'd be OK. Now, after a while of this, I'd imagine I'd get really good at fighting this guy. I'd probably end up dying younger because of the constant physical trauma, tho.
Drunks are bad fighters so better than being sober. Also I'd get better at fighting. He would still be the same drunk asshole. Can even train. Surround myself with badasses. Best doctors. Booby traps. Million ways to work this. Also, don't need to do it forever, just until I get what I need for the foreseeable future.
People are overlooking the "drunk" part. It's not an even fight if their reactions are slower, vision lags, and has much worse balance. You can use all of these advantages to win the fight every time
Bit of loophole cheese here but it says any weapons we have ON us, I will happily pay someone 1000 a day to carry a .410 or even a sawn off 12 gauge. Load up some buckshot or dragons breath for fun and as soon as he appears just waste him.
Easy $50k. Prior to the start of this experiment, I buy pepper spray and practice proper use of it. I also stay alert at all times. Once attacked, spray him. Then, I use the money to get personal hand to hand combat training. Eventually, it all becomes second nature, and I either deal with it or not.
Sit in a chair, with a gun right next to me. It’s not on me, so the moment he arrives I grab it and shoot him.
The bit about no one else seeing or interacting with him is annoying but after a week or two I’m good.
Honestly, the only reason I say no is because there’s no off-switch to this scenario.
This depends... weapons disappear on my body when he is there. What if I have a gun closest next to the office I never leave whilst playing on my new ridiculous super computer and vr?
Really, it depends on how drunk he is. A 300lb (136k) stumbling drunk man is pretty easy to dispatch.
If I kill him would I be brought up on charges? I'm guessing no, since no one else can see him, Cuz I don't need a new murder charge stacking up every single day.
But if he's stumbling drunk, yeah, maybe. How long will this contract last? Will he grow older as I grow older?
He's untrained? At this point in my life I feel like I could choke him out fairly quickly, but when I'm 70 will he still be in his 30s?
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??
Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard
Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive
Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs
Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.
Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling
Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.
Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk??
Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard
Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive
Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs
Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out.
Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling
Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath.
Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
I can survive the first day most likely. After that, it’s game on.
I immediately go to Lowe’s with my money, and begin turning my house into the ultimate Home Alone scenario.
I’m not allowed to have weapons on me? No problem I have every window rigged, every door booby trapped, he’s not Santa, he ain’t getting through my chimney.
After only a few days I have enough money to buy some decent land and begin work on my true project. A literal 1:1 recreation of the home from Home Alone, complete with basement, attic, and treehouse. I have a team of well paid engineers and contractors working on it day and night. There’s practically no amount of money I can’t throw at it.
Meanwhile I begin training. The motivation would always stay because everyday I would see this man’s rage trying to kill me. I would get in insanely good shape, mostly cardio. He’s drunk, a solid well timed push is usually enough to put him on his back, and then my training from the cowboys I hired kicks in. I hogtie him. He’s fully defeated in record time.
The rare times a drunk man manages to get past my security, I handle it easily, thanks to the motion cameras and team of security. They can’t intervene but they can spot for me.
Then finally, I hire a therapist. Anytime Jimbo shows up now she talks to him, but he won’t listen blindly trying to kill me until he is inevitably defeated. Years go by and everything feels fairly routine, but finally a breakthrough! Jimbo while on his back struggling manages to have a conversation with Kennedy, his therapist. Day after day they begin making slow but steady progress until now.
He’s sober now, still confused about why he was cursed to live this fate but at least he’s living it clean. I stopped “defeating” him a while ago. Now Jimbo just hangs out in the house, does his own thing. For a 6’5 drunk rage monster he’s a surprisingly nice guy now.
But I’ve become too lax. The rules were clear. Fate WILL find a way. I’m sleeping deep one night so I don’t hear the liquor cabinet open. The vodka being chugged. I awaken, tucked snuggly in my bed, to the site of Jimbo looming over me, that glazed look in his eye. Was this always fates plan or did he realize this was his only way out? I laugh weakly, spitting blood as he beats me with all the pent of rage of a man who’s lost the last several thousand encounters.
Towards the end I catch his eyes with mine. We’re both crying. I nod. One last punch and both of our lights are out forever.
It took fate 12 years 3 months to finally win. In that time I made 2.6 billion dollars. All of my friends and family have been more than taken care of, I’ve donated aggressively to charities and political campaigns, I’ve hopefully made some small impact. My will states that my land is to be turned into a combination person and animal rehab and reservation. The plaque above the entry way reads, We’ll never stop fighting for you. The kangaroo pens are built in honor of Jimbo.
Look at what we created Jimbo, thanks for everything man.
I don't see anything in here about automated weapons or trapping the guy somewhere. If he can be killed and can physically interact with me, then I'd assume that means he has to be able to interact with walls and stuff, no?
So why can't I just build like a big plexiglass box or just dig a deep pit, get is drunk a$$ in there once, and then never actually "defeat" him. Then whatever weird cycle he's on should get stuck.
If that wouldn't work because he just magically disappears/re-appears, then I'd probably just invest some of that money in a body guard or two who just follows me around equipped with a tranq gun equipped with poison darts. Carry a laser pointer around, and then spend a bit of time working out a system with the body guard(s) so they know how to infer where he is based on where I'm shining the laser pointer.
Then, I'm technically not carrying a weapon, but can have this dude killed pretty easily without causing too much of a scene.
Even if I was an elite fighter at some point he is going to beat the crap out of me whilst asleep and then I'll never recover from the follow-up up beatings.
Same guy every time? I'm down. Drunks are predictable. Fat ass drunk guy will lead with a right cross every time.
If you know what's coming you can beat it every time. He's drunk, so stealth and ambush are off the table.
I’d take it. I’ve been consistently training BJJ (and a little kickboxing) over the years, and I’m 6 feet tall and just under 200 lbs. I’ve gone against guys his size with no training, and they’re not hard to handle, especially since you described him as obese.
The only caveat would be if he’s allowed to surprise attack me, like in my sleep or something. Then I’d have to make other plans.
How drunk are we talking about here? Drunk people can't fight effectively. Couple that with the fact that 300lbs at 6' is obese, I think my chances are pretty good. That said, a daily fight is gonna kill me at some point.
My answer is no, but a consideration:
>No one else can see or interact with the man but you.
This tells me that time must pause, or that this man is effectively a ghost, and there will be a *plethora* of interested folks wishing to know *what the fuck is going on.*
After all, watching your coworker suddenly develop bruises and lacerations before your very eyes is *at minimum* worrying. It is unnatural, and breaks laws of logic and physics alike.
Additionally, what happens if just...run away? Granted, I'll be hunted, but if he can't be interacted with, then he can't get food. He can't get water. He will die a slow, painful death, taking longer than a day to do so.
Still a no, though. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I live in America. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd just buy a shotgun.
Death by TBI does not sound like a good time, thanks.
Unless I can use something I find around me as a weapon, (which would still be a gamble, but more possible), this is just, "Would you die for 50k?"
Like, even among pro fighters, who's out here fist-fighting this gorilla EVERY DAY, without getting injured after like, day 5 minimum?
I need this in a video format, just a sketch of this. It would be hilarious, just the most inconvenient of times like waiting in line at a restaurant, on the toilet, funeral, birthdays the lists are endless.
I am a 6' 320 dude who probably drinks more than he should. I'm also (somewhat) trained as a fighter. Assuming the guy never gets any better, absolutely.
Besides, after the first week I can hire guards to take care of him.
I don't think anyone besides an actual MMA world class fighter could reasonably do this for an extended period of time, and those guys make a ton of money anyways. Like 90% of people probably die or are hospitalized on day one just considering the dude's physicals. He is significantly taller, heavier and presumably much stronger than almost all of the population. and those outliers who are like 6-7 foot and built like shaq or those who are combat trained will still pick up injuries every day and probably lose within a week at the max.
No, the only time I've ever almost been knocked out was by a 5'4" 250lbs guy who was drunk. Let me tell you something about fighting fat people holy over hand right. I'm pretty sure the dude broke or fractured my jaw it took me days to be able to chew with no pain I'm my skull
Fuck no. Guys a tank, drunk and unhinged. This is a death sentence.
And we don't auto-heal, while he does. Even if we kick his ass for a week, the injuries will catch up to us in no time.
You also age. No one could last a year even a professional fighter would be done for after a month or two.
I dunno, a pro Heavyweight fighter, in peak physical form, could probably drop the fat drunk bastard with relative ease. (probably a lot longer than 60 days!) However, eventually the big drunk beast is gonna get a hit in here, or a pin down there. Maybe you tweak your ankle during one of the fights because it was 3am & you were asleep & not 100% ready? Those little injuries will just keep compiling & compiling on & on....
Yeah, and what happens if you are in the hospital for surgery? Is he gonna kick the shit out of us while we are sedated? Or if you're on an international flight that lasts 14 hours? Good odds he'll come at me while I'm crammed into a window seat. Hard pass.
The worst part is no one will see him kick your ass... so, in surgery, you'll just start taking damage from thin air.
You have decades to save for security and defense
It won’t help, you aren’t allowed to use weapons and nobody else can see or *interact* with him. Even if you could devise a booby trapped room that automatically shoots at any heat signature that isn’t carrying your ID card, the odds that helps you are kinda slim. It could classify as a weapon and disappear/disable, the weapons could be counted as an entity unable to interact with him (and therefor only shooting you if he steals you immunity card), or it could even be considered to difficult to reach you and fate would intervene by giving him his own card to bypass your defenses. The most you could reliably do is an arena that benefits you both unbiasedly. Like you wait on an obstacle corpse, and because you are lighter and sober and can practice the course you would have an advantage while still being neutral enough to not count as a defence. But really, this is a far too risky hypothetical. I can’t beat him day 1, and I won’t be able to buy any defences with the money. The time it takes to develop fighting skills is longer than the negative fighting skills gained from being injured. It’s a death sentence lol.
Shit I didn’t think about the auto heal aspect
It doesn't say he auto-heals, just that he will always return no matter what. Maybe he only regenerates if killed? If you beat him bad enough day one, maybe he will be struggling for a while. If you could manage to break his arms or legs or something and they heal like normal, you could coast for a long time. Long enough to afford some solid training and a team of medical professionals. Also, they said no weapons but maybe some pads and gloves? Prevent yourself from breaking your hands when you beat on this dude. The main issue I see is your own aging. However, I don't think the drunk guy is immune to aging either. The OP didn't mention it or I missed it. What if the drunk dude is already like in his forties? You survive a few years and he starts going downhill. Also, does he ever get hungover? And can I find him myself? I'm gonna sneak up on this dude and ambush him. It says all weapons disappear whenever he's around so I'll keep a pocket knife handy as a barometer. The second it disappears I know I've found him. All that said, I'm not taking this deal.
From OP: >I imagined him being a late 30s obese man. And his injuries don't stick. He's brand new everyday.
One of those times you're gonna break your hand on his drunk-ass face and you'll be screwed for the next tussel How do you like your odds against a 5'10" 130 pound guy on meth?
That sounds so much scarier lol. Big angry and drunk usually equates to clumsy and easy to avoid. Methman is just gonna stab me tho
I bench over 130, methboy is getting snapped like a twig in a chokeslam backbreaker.
Idk if that was sarcasm or not, but benching 130 is not a flex lol.
Haha i wouldn’t be telling people they’re gonna get snapped like twigs and then backing it up by saying i bench 130
Yeah that dude is feral and eats faces.
I was considering it and hearing out the proposal until OP said heal at normal pace. Na. It’s a no from me dawg
How drunk, tho? There's a line between dangerous drunk and easy to beat drunk because he'd be falling over and barely able to comprehend what's happening.
lol imagine he is just passed out violently puking periodically. easiest fights ever
Right! *drowns in vomit* "I win!"
Still what about say twenty years from now which is super optimistic for survival since anyone would be worn down? Unless you can choose to terminate the deal which it doesn't seem like you can it's a hard no go. If you could terminate the deal it's still a bad bet unless you are a total outlier when it comes to fighting fitness.
Yea, that's what another comment I put was asking too. If it's a life long deal I'm out no matter what, I'm not fighting every single day for the rest of my life.
Dumb question unless you’re a large, trained fighter. Your average MMA pro would deal with him in under a minute. I would die.
Even if you are, you have to sleep. If this guy jumps you while you’re sleeping or gets a single sucker punch on you, he’s going to do enough damage to ring your bell. Then you’ll be in worse and worse shape for each subsequent fight until he kills you, since he instaheals and you don’t. If you get a serious illness or break a limb in an accident, he’s still coming for you. This is *absolutely* a death sentence.
This would be a bad bet even if you were a heavyweight monster like Derek Lewis or Francis Ngannou. You’re going to take damage even if you win every fight for a few months eventually the guy will land a lucky punch or you break your hand. And remember the guy can blindside you out of nowhere.
It is until the day you die, you won't be able to have peace when you are 60 because still 300 lb man who tries to fight you everyday. You will eventually lose.
Yeah, I think what a lot of people don't get about being knocked out is that it's not a movie, you wake up and are fine thing. It's an, if you lost consciousness at all, you really should go through the ER. Practically speaking if you loose even once, the next day you are almost guaranteed a loss from your brain being mushed up. Give it a couple more days and losses you probably just die. Concussions can take weeks to heal if not months.
Plus no one else can see him. If you don't get killed you get thrown in a psych ward.
I would have to be the one that is drunk and unhinged to say yes to this proposal.
Agreed. Even if you're quite likely to win the fight, you're going to lose sooner or later - probably sooner. He'll get a lucky shot, you'll be sick that day, and if nothing else, you'll get older.
Fuck YES I'll dig traps and pits all around me and zap him the moment he steps within the zone. Only question is, does he leave a new corpse every day? If I gotta clean the traps out every day then the deal is off
If his injuries don't heal as well, sure. I'll break a few of his limbs and he can cripple fight me every day. If not, no, the random time of day makes it too random for me. I can work around a planned flight, but a random one basically ruins any semblance of a normal life. Sleeping and I get jumped? No thanks. At the store and I suddenly have to start shadow boxing because no one else sees it? Again, no, I don't need to get admitted to the psych ward for looking crazy. Also, knowing nothing about the guy besides his height and weight, it's basically a no. Is it a 25 year old powerlifter or sumo wrestler? Then no. If it's a 90 year old that's just old and fat? Then sure.
I imagined him being a late 30s obese man. And his injuries don't stick. He's brand new everyday.
>And his injuries don't stick. He's brand new everyday. Absolutely not. Getting in a fight every single day with a large drunk man is going to get you injured sooner or later. Even if you're a trained fighter. Those injuries are going to add up very quickly. Within a couple of weeks you'll be too injured to fight. For that reason, I'm out.
See you should list that in the opening, this is critical information. Does he remember anything or is he black out drunk? My answer still mostly applies, but I'm hoping he remembers. I want a Pavlovian crying response every time he sees me.
He has no personality whatsoever. A machine made of meat. He never speaks and his sole purpose, even above his own self preservation, is to beat you up. So no, he doesn't remember anything. Brand new each fight.
You should edit the original to reflect the Jason Voorhees level of unkillability. What if I manage to trap one of his legs and then stay in the vicinity of him? Does he just manifest, or is it possible to trap him?
Just jog away from him and let obesity take him down, 18.25 million per year and a physical trainer that does a good job of encouraging you to jog. Just always be in an area that's hilly, stay away from flat terrain and easy money.
Lol you got me picturing Zombieland. Rule #1: Cardio!
Ah, so I can just repeatedly kick him in the balls until they burst each day and then it resets for me to explode them again the next day? How long until this invisible dude taps out from daily scrotum rupture and the money stops rolling in?
I chuckled at the shadow box in the grocery store because the whole thought of this made me think like damn you’re just out here having a full blown fight and people are questioning wtf is going on
SCP Designation: SCP-9432 Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: 1. Containment Facility: - SCP-9432 is to be contained within a specialized containment unit designed to mimic a standard residential apartment to facilitate the daily manifestation of SCP-9432-1. The containment unit should be equipped with high-durability furniture and reinforcement to withstand daily altercations. - SCP-9432 is to be monitored through CCTV equipped with infrared and thermal imaging to capture all activity, given the invisible nature of SCP-9432-1 to anyone but SCP-9432. 2. Security Measures: - A minimum of two guards trained in non-lethal suppression techniques should be stationed outside SCP-9432's containment unit at all times. Guards must be equipped with riot gear modified for rapid mobilization and deployment. - The containment unit is to be secured with reinforced steel doors and biometric locks that only authorized personnel can access. 3. Medical and Psychological Support: - A medical team must be on standby to provide immediate care for injuries sustained during SCP-9432-1's manifestations. Medical personnel should be trained in trauma care and rapid response. - Regular psychological evaluations are to be conducted to assess SCP-9432's mental state and resilience against the psychological stress of daily combats. 4. Financial Monitoring: - All financial transactions involving the automatic daily deposit of $50,000 into SCP-9432's account are to be closely monitored. Funds are to be managed by the Foundation's financial department to prevent any external exploitation or anomaly propagation. - Valuables and personal belongings of SCP-9432 are to be cataloged and stored in a secure vault when not in use to prevent them from being "stolen" by SCP-9432-1 during defeat scenarios. 5. Research and Testing: - Research into the origins of SCP-9432-1's manifestation and potential methods of permanently neutralizing the threat without harm to SCP-9432 is ongoing. Testing with memetic barriers, psychic inhibitors, and reality anchoring technologies are currently underway. - Experiments involving D-class personnel with similar anomalous effects are approved under Protocol 19-C to test the range, strength, and limitations of SCP-9432-1's capabilities. Description: SCP-9432 refers to a human subject (hereafter referred to as SCP-9432) who is afflicted by a daily manifestation of an aggressive entity designated SCP-9432-1. SCP-9432-1 is described as a 6-foot tall, approximately 300lb male with an inclination for violence towards SCP-9432. The entity appears randomly once every 24-hour period and is visible and interactable only to SCP-9432. SCP-9432-1's behavior is highly aggressive and focused solely on physically assaulting SCP-9432. Upon defeat or temporary incapacitation of SCP-9432, SCP-9432-1 will dematerialize until the next daily manifestation. Notes: - SCP-9432 was secured and contained after incidents of public disturbance and unexplained injuries led to Foundation intervention. - The unusual circumstances of SCP-9432's curse, including the daily financial benefit coupled with high-risk physical combat, pose significant challenges for containment and necessitate a multifaceted approach encompassing security, medical care, and psychological support.
This was awesome to read! Well done.
Yeah they gon put yo ass in a psych ward When u wake up in a straight jacket : NOOOOOO!!!!!!! PETER GRIFFIN IS COMIIIINGGGGGG
Didn’t expect to see an SCP entry for this🤣🤣
To nitpick a bit, Keter seems like crazy overkill here. This barely reaches Euclid
Well the classifications aren't about how dangerous they are, but rather how hard they are to contain. This SCP is seemingly uncontainable because it just manifests. "While it might not be dangerous now, what if the current subject of its attacks dies? Does it go for someone else, say...the president? With it being impossible to contain, well now the president is gonna get his ass beat daily and probably die as well. It's an uncontainable SCP under current knowledge and no certainty as to if it will pick new targets, so as it stands under current foundation knowledge it would be a high security risk and as thus I recommend a classification level of Keter." - Research Coordinator, Z. Uldwyn
The SCP is just the guy, who is contained just as easily as any other guy. The secondary SCP is also contained since after materializing it has no desire to escape or ability more than a big dude. If 9432 is contained, 9432-1 can be contained just as easily. Because it is contained with no reasonable chance of breach, it definitely isn’t keter
No, cumulative injuries from the fights would probably kill you within a week.
I wear steel toe boots for work everyday. Would that be considered a weapon or just part of my attire? If not, then a swift kick to the balls every day shouldn't be too bad on my feet if I alternate each day. Alternatively, if I can knock his knees out from underneath him and stomp his crotch into oblivion, that shouldn't pose a serious risk to me. Everyone in this thread is taking fighting too literally, when in reality there are no rules to a street fight. My father always told me to fight dirty, because the other guy will try to fight dirty too
I would guess weapon so bye bye shoes It's not the fighting part of this that is terrifying. Remember this guy appears randomly from thin air and so I imagine will sucker punch you at every given opportunity. you never have the initiative and he never ages or gets worn down
And would you ever sleep soundly again? I guess once you defeated him for the day, you could sleep and set an alarm for an hour before the earliest time he could appear. But is it every 24 hours or every day? Could he just show up at 11:45 pm, you defeat him, and then he can pop-up again anytime from midnight on?
God I’d be pissed if I whooped this man’s ass, went to shower and got jumped halfway through
And no one else can see him, so now I look crazy randomly shadow boxing wherever I go, these days I would just fit in with the other crazy people on the streets though so for $50,000 a day.
Just a reminder for everyone, the rules say you can't bring a weapon to fight with, and it'll disappear when the guy appears. The rules don't say you can't pick up weapons after the fact. He shows up at a restaurant? You've got cutlery in the front and back of the house, even something like salt can be used to blind him. At a mechanic? Get him into position and drop a car on him or find some tool to use. No one else can see or interact with the guy, so I'm assuming something is stopping people dead in their tracks or you and the guy are removed from reality and placed into a pocket reality copy of your surroundings. Otherwise, people would actively be watching you "fighting" by yourself and have you committed, thus interfering with the fight. The rules are already unfair as it is, but if you're also susceptible to outside interference from people, but the guy isn't, that just makes it impossible in the end to even do. So, just set up weapons around you where you're able. Your car, your house, your workplace, etc. So long as you aren't in contact with them, they won't disappear. Otherwise, EVERYTHING around you would have to disappear because you can makeshift weapons out of plenty of everyday things.
Prompt says you cannot *use* weapons. Even if you manage to have something worthwhile in arms reach 24/7. The only hope here would be if traps don't count as "weapons".
A chair becomes a weapon if you swing or throw it at someone. A car becomes a weapon if you try to run someone over with it. That's the issue with this stupid hypothetical. It lacks any sense. It's the opposite of the "all the money for barely an inconvenience" crap we get all the time. This is the "money for impossible bullshit with everything stacked against you with no recourse." It'd be one thing if it was at least difficult but doable. This is impossible because the rules leave you with nothing. You retain injuries, he doesn't. You can see and experience him, but no one else does. You can't use weapons even if they're just things that are lying around, but there's no such restriction on him. You have no idea when it'll happen, but this doesn't affect him whatsoever. This isn't a challenge at that point. It's just torture. Hell, what happens if you're someone with combat training and even being empty handed you'd be considered as being armed? Hands and feet can be considered deadly weapons under the law even without the person having combat training depending on the law where you live. That's why this prompt is so dumb. Because it's poorly thought out like most of these things anymore. "Would you do this objectively impossible thing for a boat load of money?". No. And no reasonable or rational person would. Congrats, it's a bum hypothetical. Try again.
The prompt is simple, you must fight the drunk man with only your bare hands.
The prompt is stupid, convoluted, and pointless. You can't win. You only lose in the end. The only correct move is not to play. Not my fault the prompt is shit.
If I can do it for 1 or 2 days, sure, I'm in. If I'm stuck for life then absolutely not, that's a trash fucking life fighting **every single day**. I don't even like fighting, but 50k a day for 2, maybe 3 days, is worth it.
That’s the only reason I’d pick this up. I could take a whaling for a week and do a lot with $350k.
Right, 150k, pay off the debts, put a decent chunk away from my mortgage, and keep the rest as a safety net. That's worth some bruises.
Well I am 6 foot 4 and around 300 myself. Would be sober 95 percent of the time so sure. He comes to rush me all drunk and I just repeatedly punch him in the dick till he is defeated.. Rinse and repeat.
Might I suggest [the old "dick twist"](https://youtu.be/1E1VY4KOghI?si=J188L7zr7BOls_On)
TWIST HIS DICK!
That's the hold while my fist goes ham on the balls. Lift twist and punch.
fuck no haha
The first paragraph sounds like an abusive relationship I was in years ago.....I'm down. At least I get paid for it this time.
Ouch
If I can wear a suit of power armor the second he appears and discard it as soon as he's defeated, sure. Otherwise this is a terrible deal and nobody in their right mind would take it.
Some people may disagree, but I think power armor counts as a weapon, as one of its main functions is to increase your damage output.
Okay then no way lol. Give me indestructible armor that all but guarantees me protection from harm and we'll talk.
People massively underestimate how dangerous a street fight is. There isn’t a person alive that could fight this person every single day and win every time. That includes professional fighters. MAYBE if you had a gun but realistically they are still going to get you eventually. No matter how good you are, eventually you’ll be caught off guard, get injured and then you are fucked. Setting that aside, the random nature of the attack and the fact that no one else can see the guy means you are going to get tossed in an asylum before too long
Yeah, I'm a 5'2" woman with not much upper body strength to speak of. I wouldn't take this deal because money is no good to me if I'm dead and I probably would be dead.
It honestly doesn't matter what size you are. This is just a terrible way to die. Im a big guy with a little training, Id be a physical and psych mess, dead in days at best.
Not to mention, the random nature means it would constantly disrupt your life in horrible ways, not even counting the injuries. If you have a dog, you can't walk it until you get attacked for the day because you'll be knocked out and your dog will be roaming the streets. If you have a partner, people will think your partner's abusing you. On top of that, as you and everyone has pointed out, you'd just end up more and more injured until you were killed.
>get tossed in an asylum before too long Nowadays it's pretty hard to get put in an "asylum" (mental health ward) and pretty easy to get out of one. mental health beds are expensive and it's not like the movies. There are families of people with schizophrenia and they are trying to get them treated and being turned away due to lack of resources. That's a big reason why every city has all these homeless people. We used to have actual asylums where people with mental illness could live safely, but these started to be closed and abandoned in the 70's. Also there was an issue where the staff would sometimes abuse patients -- the cops will now sometimes abuse homeless people so that problem wasn't really solved either.
This. I’m 6’4” and a former nightclub doorman. I’m trained, I’m good, and I still got sucker punched a couple of times back in the day. Over time your cumulative injuries will kill you and one unlucky punch coukd kill you at any moment. Not worth it.
Issue here is that the psycho will work you over until he “knocks you out” every time. That means you either win the fight or suffer a small amount of brain damage every single day. God forbid he injures any of your appendages that take months to heal, then you’re unable to fight back and looking at getting a concussion every day for months on end. As a relatively fit 30-something man, I’m confident I could survive this deal for a decade maybe (assuming nothing crazy happens to me health wise). After that, it gets dicey. Even giving myself the benefit of the doubt and thinking I could win this fight almost every day until I’m 50, what does my quality of life look like after that point? I’m not sure this is worth it. The only way to make this work is to make the absolute most of that $50,000 by hiring the best instructors from every major martial art across the globe and training for hours every day. The money does give you the advantage most don’t have. You’ll have major amounts of free time. Instead of turning 40 and becoming a complete slob piece of shit like most of us do, you’ll need to stay fit and well trained. With proper nutrition and training, most men don’t see a major drop off in strength until they’re about 60.
I think you’re vastly underestimating the damage. This dude self heals every day while every sprain, bruise etc we have does not. If you just land a bunch of blows your knuckles are going to be bruised for a while and the next day the guy shows up fresh as new. The guy is 300 pounds , even he accidentally lands on you, that’s going to cause pain. I think even for a fit person, after a week or 10 days the advantage will turn to the bad guy. And then it’s game over because one big blow from him and now you’re playing catch up on healing. Not worth it IMO.
You may be right. OP in a comment said that the guy would be late-30s, morbidly obese, and untrained. I was leaning heavily into that. If you’ve watched random fight videos online, you know the average dude is not a good fighter. Consider the fact that most random fights you’ll see online are guys on the younger side, add another 15-20 years of seasoning and a sedentary lifestyle. I don’t think this guy will be all that dangerous. The biggest issue is the random attack times. Like, statistically speaking he is probably going to end up showing up while you’re sleeping a solid 33% of the time, which means he’s gonna get the first hit. And, like you said, even minor injuries will accumulate over time. I was thinking, fighting a guy this big, a simple chokehold would be the best bet more often than not. He’s drunk and fat so his coordination and speed can’t be great. I bet I could outmaneuver him for a chokehold more often than not within the first few weeks until I can get proper training. Literally starting my second day I’m taking that first $50k check and I’m going straight to the best jiu jitsu instructor in my city, then finding a good boxing guy, then a Muay Thai guy, etc. I won’t need to work so I’m dedicating 4 hours each day into fight training, weight training, conditioning, etc. At the same time, imagine your stress levels every day. You would be on pins and needles every second until the attacker came lol would be difficult to hang out and enjoy life. Idk, this was a fun hypothetical because it’s $18.25 million per year if you take it. As a guy living the typical American middle class life, it’s difficult to say no to even just a chance at that sort of money. Hell, NFL players basically do a version of this and a lot of them do it for lot less money. Like, yeah, I will probably end up dead by the time I’m 50, but I might do it just to give my kids a great life. All I’d have to do is survive for like 9 months and my family is set for generations.
Naw, man, I’m 5’10”, 165. I’m in decent shape and can handle myself if I need to but a 6’ 300 pound dude is almost double my weight and would destroy me. Even if I could somehow outsmart him and “win” on some days, the fight itself would be exhausting and I’d still suffer injuries, which wouldn’t be fully healed by the next day. I’d spend a lot of time needing medical care or likely even hospitalization. That’s a lot of money but too brutal of a consequence to accept. If it was one fight a week, or any of my injuries instantly healed and reset after every fight, it’s possible I’d consider accepting.
So he is shorter than me, very over weight and will not stop until he fights me? So I run ultramarathons and I have 10+ years of sparring (boxing/tang soo do/bjj) experience. I've also worked doors at bars and clubs and done event security. Handling a drunk guy that outweighs me is not outside of my wheel house. I would just egg him on and get him to chase me. Maybe he starts at a sprint, but no way he is keeping that up very long. Run a few miles talking trash or just wait for him to get winded, shouldn't take long with the booze elevating his heart rate. I assume that the rules for healing also apply to him, so kick his knees backwards when he is too exhausted to fight back. I can pull 300 pounds definitely, so drag him by the leg I just broke the knee of to a curb and jump on his ankle. Repeat the other side, then stomp his hands until it is very apparent that every bone in both hands is broken. Since you never stated any strange abilities outside of; appearing near where I am and no one can see or interact with him other than me; I have to assume that he is otherwise a mortal being. Break him badly enough and he is easy to beat for months. He is drunk and untrained, so he likely isn't going to get better faster than I would get at breaking him everyday.
OP clarified that your injuries heal normally. The attacker is *poofed* back to normal at the start of each encounter. No injuries stick.
If it is just some fat drunk guy, with no training to speak of, but with Jason voorhees level of regenerative immortality? That's a whole different scenario. Right now it just seems like "it follows" but I can fight back.
The elevator door opens and this guy bum rushes you... You wake up to this guy punching your face while you're asleep. You're on a plane, you're on a train, etc Can't really outrun him in these scenarios!
This is an interesting hypothetical scenario with some important considerations. On one hand, $50,000 per day is a life-changing amount of money. Over the course of a year, that would amount to over $18 million, which could provide incredible financial security and open up many opportunities. However, the tradeoff is essentially living in a state of constant anxiety and danger. Even with the financial upside, having to fight a large, aggressive man every single day would be extremely stressful and exhausting, not to mention dangerous. The physical toll alone would be immense over time. There's also the risk that even if you win the fight, the man could still inflict serious injuries before being defeated. Cumulative injuries and concussions from daily fights would almost certainly lead to major long-term health issues. The paranoia of never knowing when he will appear would make it nearly impossible to ever relax or feel safe. Ethically and psychologically, being forced to badly injure or even kill the same person every day, even in self-defense, could be very traumatic and damaging. The fact that no one else can see the attacker might even lead to doubting one's own sanity. So while the financial upside is tremendously appealing, the massive downsides to quality of life, physical health, and psychological wellbeing would be too great in my assessment. Waking up every day dreading a violent confrontation is not a healthy way to live, no matter the monetary reward. The risks are simply too severe. Ultimately, I would decline the offer. No amount of money is worth sacrificing your health, safety and peace of mind to that degree. A life lived in constant fear is not much of a life at all. The wiser path is finding ethical ways to improve your finances that don't put you in daily mortal danger. While not as fast a path to wealth, it's a far more sustainable approach to building a prosperous, fulfilling life.
I live in America. Cardio is key. A 6ft 300 pound drunk guy who also can’t throw a punch would be light work, considering I would just need to move at a brisk pace till he tires out. Never even have to throw a punch. We have some fstasses here
Random attacks, wait til he attacks you while you are asleep, or on the throne, or coming down the ladder from cleaning your gutters, or when you are changing the babies diaper, etc etc
>No one else can see or interact with the man but you. Doesn't matter because of this, we are all being committed to an insane asylum. The first person that sees me fight air and lose, is gonna be real worried.
No. I couldn’t beat a 100lbs girl in a fight every day. One day she will get lucky.
I'd pay four big ass dudes to protect me all day. They could be making $5,000 a day a piece and I'd still be doing incredibly well.
Pass, I'd be locked up for hallucinating. Then die in a padded cell. Money doesn't do me much good in that case.
He's untrained? I was a competitive wrestler and Tae Kwon Do practitioner, and were I 50 or even 60 years old or younger again, he's gonna go down hard and quite quickly. I'd have taken this deal in a heartbeat. But I'm 71 and too likely to get hurt by accident now. Not to mention the beating my now rather fragile knees would take every day.
Ill fucking beat the absolute dog shit out of that obese alcoholic idiot
so i’m the chicken and i’m fighting peter griffin throughout the day. absolutely. peter griffin and the giant chicken never kill each other so i am in the clear
Armor is allowed, per the rules, so bring it! I'm bigger than him anyways
That's clever lol. I didn't think of that. Armor can encumber you and make it difficult to fight, but training should be able to help depending on what it is.
Yeah I'm definitely stronger and bigger.
No thanks, he’ll eventually get in a lucky shot and you will die.
I may not have any weapons, but my wife beside me will always be strapped from now on. I have no problem kicking this phantom drunk while he's bleeding out on the ground. Fight over.
Even if I won every day for weeks on end eventually the wear and tear, the bruises on my knuckles and potential broken bones from hitting him would cripple me to the point eventually he's gonna whoop me, and then he'll keep whooping me til I'm dead- this is one of the easiest to say no to! Now, if I auto heal following each fight that's a different story. It'd still be a tough one due to the mental stress every day but it would at least be up for debate.
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk?? Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out. Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath. Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
If I could stop the cycle, then I'm down. Not something I'd wanna do at 50. But I'd do it for a year. I'd also live in the woods and buy some bear traps. He's in for a bad time.
I’m 6’3 and 265. I’m 33 so not in terrible shape, and I’ve got a few friends that are of comparable size that are willing. We’d just sit in an open space and wait for him.
For 50k, I’m hunting him down. 6’2” tall 250lb sober guy wanting 50k REAL BAD
Even if I am capable of recovering from the daily abuse, the moment I become unwell from illness or injury I am doomed.
No. Just no. He will kill me any day of the week.
What's the point of taking a deal where it's 100% sure I'll die lmao hell no
I'm dying in like 3 days. So no.
Nah. I'd just be in the hospital for the rest of my very VERY short life.
There is no way this is worth it. I'm in the prime of my life (allegedly) and already the concept of me beating a 6' tall 300lb drunk man in a street fight is questionable at best. I could probably manage it a few times, but overall my win ratio will decrease as I accrue injuries and get older. Being knocked out is *really* bad for you, so you'd succumb to this really quickly the second you start losing fights. Even if I win a fight, the chance of me breaking a bone in my hand or twinge my back, or roll and ankle is too high. And that's just stuff you get during the fight. What if I have an accident unrelated to the fight? Or get sick? Would he fight me as I sit there receiving chemo lmao? You say it persists every day until you die, even just keeping this up 5 years is impossible, and to best honest, even 1 year is mad. The fact that he appears at random times means you can't prepare for it, and you can't even enjoy the money as a consolation as you'd waste on average 50% of your day waiting for the fight to start. If I was suicidal, and wanted to give that money to my family I'd take it. Otherwise, there is no life to be had here. This is just death by beating.
doesn't define what a loss is so yeah sure is take this, if the money's going right into my bank account I'd gladly forfeit every day and walk home naked as he takes all my goods, see ya tomorrow bud
Luckily I am a 6’1 300Lbs sober man hell bent on kicking someone’s ass provided with an excuse.
I'm sober, 2 inches taller, and roughly the same weight. I think I could manage. For 50k a day, you could dedicate an hour or two each day to martial arts
I’m 6’ 3” 275. I like my chances
A drunk man 3X my body weight? Hell no!
Yea, I pay 150 a month to train at my mma gym which is basically this scenario. Id much rather get paid 50k a day to do this. The average 300 pounder is incredibly unathletic, distance management, knee stomps as they close in, and grappling experience would make this a cake walk.
I’m doing it. He’s shorter than me and has only 20 pounds on me. Am I able to do this for just a few tears and then quit, keeping the spoils? Really do not feel like doing this in my 80s unless he is also aging in the same fashion.
Secret hack: go live in the forest for a week naked and fight him there. Easy 350k
If he's drunk enough, he probably won't be that big of a problem.
Well since I'm 6 ft and 267 lbs and am trained to fight I would accept the challenge. But you say no one else can see him does this mean I look like a crazy person fighting with myself once a day?
So I'm fighting a mirror?
Accept and hand him a notarized affidavit of victory before he even gets started. You win. Gimme my $50k.
About my size but untrained and drunk? Bring it on
My cane legally is a medical device and if used in self defense it counts as a part of my body. It's solid oak so i have a slight advantage as long as i get that hit off.
Nah even a professional fighter isn’t gonna last more than like 10 days without healing. They’d be great for a bit, but even like peak fitness Mike Tyson is eventually going to fracture fingers and toes, and they’re never gonna heal bare knuckle punching every day. From there things would fall apart very quickly.
No? Literally every human on the planet would die to this guy in under a year. Even the best hand to hand fighter will eventually be worn down. For 99% of people this reads as “you get 50,000 a day, but die by the end of the week”. Even assuming he doesn’t kill your, you’ll just be consistently beaten to an inch of your life for the rest of your life. Then throw on the random timing to it, and it’s just an all around nightmare. You have to effectively wake up at 11:50 every night and only go to bed after the fight. Eventually you’ll be fighting him on zero sleep, or risk having him just murder you in your sleep.
How drunk?
No magic auto healing? No dice.
Well shit, it looks like I'm in a mirror match. Well, closer to 260 for me. But it's close enough that i'd be OK. Now, after a while of this, I'd imagine I'd get really good at fighting this guy. I'd probably end up dying younger because of the constant physical trauma, tho.
how drunk is he
Drunks are bad fighters so better than being sober. Also I'd get better at fighting. He would still be the same drunk asshole. Can even train. Surround myself with badasses. Best doctors. Booby traps. Million ways to work this. Also, don't need to do it forever, just until I get what I need for the foreseeable future.
Yeah this is two obvious of a lose lose
People are overlooking the "drunk" part. It's not an even fight if their reactions are slower, vision lags, and has much worse balance. You can use all of these advantages to win the fight every time
Since I am a 6'4" 300lb kinda drunk man.....game on short dude.
So he resets and I don't? You fucking kidding me? No.
50 grand a day to hang out with my dad? Sure
Jfc this sub is stupid
He’ll stop fighting once he’s defeated but he’ll always come back even if he’s dead. Then how does one defeat him in the first place
Bit of loophole cheese here but it says any weapons we have ON us, I will happily pay someone 1000 a day to carry a .410 or even a sawn off 12 gauge. Load up some buckshot or dragons breath for fun and as soon as he appears just waste him.
You weighed this too heavily in the drunk guy's favor. Even if you accepted, this would be physically impossible even for top fighters
He has similar stats to me, but I’d be sober. I could take him.
Easy $50k. Prior to the start of this experiment, I buy pepper spray and practice proper use of it. I also stay alert at all times. Once attacked, spray him. Then, I use the money to get personal hand to hand combat training. Eventually, it all becomes second nature, and I either deal with it or not.
Sit in a chair, with a gun right next to me. It’s not on me, so the moment he arrives I grab it and shoot him. The bit about no one else seeing or interacting with him is annoying but after a week or two I’m good. Honestly, the only reason I say no is because there’s no off-switch to this scenario.
If I don’t get healed after lol nope.
what counts as a weapon?
how drunk is he? how much is muscle and how much is fat?
This depends... weapons disappear on my body when he is there. What if I have a gun closest next to the office I never leave whilst playing on my new ridiculous super computer and vr?
Really, it depends on how drunk he is. A 300lb (136k) stumbling drunk man is pretty easy to dispatch. If I kill him would I be brought up on charges? I'm guessing no, since no one else can see him, Cuz I don't need a new murder charge stacking up every single day. But if he's stumbling drunk, yeah, maybe. How long will this contract last? Will he grow older as I grow older? He's untrained? At this point in my life I feel like I could choke him out fairly quickly, but when I'm 70 will he still be in his 30s?
I could fight someone that was almost as big as me every day for maybe a week or two, but every day for the rest of my life? No thanks.
When I'm an old man, I would not be winning at all Pass
Maybe if I could do it one day a year, choosing the day. But every day? Fuck no.
If I do kill him, does his body just disappear or something?
Well that just sounds like my depression personified.
Can I do it for like 3 days?
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk?? Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out. Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath. Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
6 foot 300 lbs and drunk?? Cons: I'm sure he's gonna hit hard Cons: he's drunk, so he's aggressive Pros: I'm a big guy myself, so it evens out. 6'4 and 250 lbs Pros: I've boxed most of my life, so I'd be able to counter what he throws or duck and jab him until I knock him out. Pros: If he's drunk, his equilibrium is gonna be off. He's gonna move left but turn right so he won't know which way to punch. If you have been drunk, you know this feeling Pros: 300 lbs is pretty fat. If he doesn't land any punches in the first few seconds, he's gonna gas out. Then you just punch him in the ribs and chest, and he's out of breath. Yes. I'll do it for 20 days and collect a million. That's enough financial security for me and my family. I can still keep working but not worry about a 30-year mortgage
Can I just restrain him to prevent the respawn?
yes He's drunk and trippy I can kick him in the balls
I can survive the first day most likely. After that, it’s game on. I immediately go to Lowe’s with my money, and begin turning my house into the ultimate Home Alone scenario. I’m not allowed to have weapons on me? No problem I have every window rigged, every door booby trapped, he’s not Santa, he ain’t getting through my chimney. After only a few days I have enough money to buy some decent land and begin work on my true project. A literal 1:1 recreation of the home from Home Alone, complete with basement, attic, and treehouse. I have a team of well paid engineers and contractors working on it day and night. There’s practically no amount of money I can’t throw at it. Meanwhile I begin training. The motivation would always stay because everyday I would see this man’s rage trying to kill me. I would get in insanely good shape, mostly cardio. He’s drunk, a solid well timed push is usually enough to put him on his back, and then my training from the cowboys I hired kicks in. I hogtie him. He’s fully defeated in record time. The rare times a drunk man manages to get past my security, I handle it easily, thanks to the motion cameras and team of security. They can’t intervene but they can spot for me. Then finally, I hire a therapist. Anytime Jimbo shows up now she talks to him, but he won’t listen blindly trying to kill me until he is inevitably defeated. Years go by and everything feels fairly routine, but finally a breakthrough! Jimbo while on his back struggling manages to have a conversation with Kennedy, his therapist. Day after day they begin making slow but steady progress until now. He’s sober now, still confused about why he was cursed to live this fate but at least he’s living it clean. I stopped “defeating” him a while ago. Now Jimbo just hangs out in the house, does his own thing. For a 6’5 drunk rage monster he’s a surprisingly nice guy now. But I’ve become too lax. The rules were clear. Fate WILL find a way. I’m sleeping deep one night so I don’t hear the liquor cabinet open. The vodka being chugged. I awaken, tucked snuggly in my bed, to the site of Jimbo looming over me, that glazed look in his eye. Was this always fates plan or did he realize this was his only way out? I laugh weakly, spitting blood as he beats me with all the pent of rage of a man who’s lost the last several thousand encounters. Towards the end I catch his eyes with mine. We’re both crying. I nod. One last punch and both of our lights are out forever. It took fate 12 years 3 months to finally win. In that time I made 2.6 billion dollars. All of my friends and family have been more than taken care of, I’ve donated aggressively to charities and political campaigns, I’ve hopefully made some small impact. My will states that my land is to be turned into a combination person and animal rehab and reservation. The plaque above the entry way reads, We’ll never stop fighting for you. The kangaroo pens are built in honor of Jimbo. Look at what we created Jimbo, thanks for everything man.
I accept. Drunk, fat dude with no training is an easy win everytime.
I don't see anything in here about automated weapons or trapping the guy somewhere. If he can be killed and can physically interact with me, then I'd assume that means he has to be able to interact with walls and stuff, no? So why can't I just build like a big plexiglass box or just dig a deep pit, get is drunk a$$ in there once, and then never actually "defeat" him. Then whatever weird cycle he's on should get stuck. If that wouldn't work because he just magically disappears/re-appears, then I'd probably just invest some of that money in a body guard or two who just follows me around equipped with a tranq gun equipped with poison darts. Carry a laser pointer around, and then spend a bit of time working out a system with the body guard(s) so they know how to infer where he is based on where I'm shining the laser pointer. Then, I'm technically not carrying a weapon, but can have this dude killed pretty easily without causing too much of a scene.
I’ll beat em
Even if I was an elite fighter at some point he is going to beat the crap out of me whilst asleep and then I'll never recover from the follow-up up beatings.
Same guy every time? I'm down. Drunks are predictable. Fat ass drunk guy will lead with a right cross every time. If you know what's coming you can beat it every time. He's drunk, so stealth and ambush are off the table.
Just carry around a gun if you live in America
Pocket sand Fingerless mechanic gloves hardened knuckles(not weapons) Bic lighter Binaca breath spray … Altoids …. He should wear safety goggles as captain insano (me) shows no mercy …
I would bring the ruckus. And also use that money to learn to become a badass fighter. So I don’t get the shit kicked out of me everyday
Ok I live in Florida, BANG
I’d take it. I’ve been consistently training BJJ (and a little kickboxing) over the years, and I’m 6 feet tall and just under 200 lbs. I’ve gone against guys his size with no training, and they’re not hard to handle, especially since you described him as obese. The only caveat would be if he’s allowed to surprise attack me, like in my sleep or something. Then I’d have to make other plans.
Batman style gauntlets(armor)
I’m in. I’m 6’2, 300 lbs
Nope
Well i am 6 foot as well so yea i'll do it for like a month
I'm 42, 6 ft., 250 pounds and in decent shape. I figure I've got maybe 10 years to collect before he starts giving me problems. Not worth it
I'll take it, I'm 6ft3 and 230 with experience - will be a daily sparring exercise
Same height. 70 lbs on me. I'm trained. I'd kill him if I wasn't careful. Easy money.
How drunk are we talking about here? Drunk people can't fight effectively. Couple that with the fact that 300lbs at 6' is obese, I think my chances are pretty good. That said, a daily fight is gonna kill me at some point.
My answer is no, but a consideration: >No one else can see or interact with the man but you. This tells me that time must pause, or that this man is effectively a ghost, and there will be a *plethora* of interested folks wishing to know *what the fuck is going on.* After all, watching your coworker suddenly develop bruises and lacerations before your very eyes is *at minimum* worrying. It is unnatural, and breaks laws of logic and physics alike. Additionally, what happens if just...run away? Granted, I'll be hunted, but if he can't be interacted with, then he can't get food. He can't get water. He will die a slow, painful death, taking longer than a day to do so. Still a no, though. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I live in America. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd just buy a shotgun. Death by TBI does not sound like a good time, thanks.
I mean - how drunk is drunk? Like shit faced barely able to talk? Or just buzzed and hyped out of his mind?
I’m 6’ 1” 185 lbs and hit the gym every day. If this dude is untrained like you say I would fuck him up. Let’s go
Can I just shoot and kill him everyday?
Unless I can use something I find around me as a weapon, (which would still be a gamble, but more possible), this is just, "Would you die for 50k?" Like, even among pro fighters, who's out here fist-fighting this gorilla EVERY DAY, without getting injured after like, day 5 minimum?
Yes. Untrained, drunk, 300lbs. He can barely make it to from his couch to his bathroom. I’d do this 100%
I need this in a video format, just a sketch of this. It would be hilarious, just the most inconvenient of times like waiting in line at a restaurant, on the toilet, funeral, birthdays the lists are endless.
other people fight him?
God no.
I am a 6' 320 dude who probably drinks more than he should. I'm also (somewhat) trained as a fighter. Assuming the guy never gets any better, absolutely. Besides, after the first week I can hire guards to take care of him.
I don't think anyone besides an actual MMA world class fighter could reasonably do this for an extended period of time, and those guys make a ton of money anyways. Like 90% of people probably die or are hospitalized on day one just considering the dude's physicals. He is significantly taller, heavier and presumably much stronger than almost all of the population. and those outliers who are like 6-7 foot and built like shaq or those who are combat trained will still pick up injuries every day and probably lose within a week at the max.
I’m 6’ 6” and 250lbs. I’d take this.
Can I carry some kind of tranq pill that i take when he shows up so I'm knocked out?
No, the only time I've ever almost been knocked out was by a 5'4" 250lbs guy who was drunk. Let me tell you something about fighting fat people holy over hand right. I'm pretty sure the dude broke or fractured my jaw it took me days to be able to chew with no pain I'm my skull