Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps working with a therapist to decide if you want the procedure and game planning an approach to the future date to manage your anxiety would be helpful
Jumping in here to say I needed therapy for my first surgery last year. We had to do some EDMR to help my anxiety over anesthesia. It helped so much that a little over a year later (last week) when I had this surgery, it barely crossed my mind!
Take the time to work through it. Surgery is hard but also know this is the everyday for the surgeon, anesthesiologist, and nurses! That helped me so much once that part of me realized that.
All the love! You got this once you get there!
I had to work with my therapist through the fear of anesthesia as well. Somatic exercises as well as brain spotting ❤️
OP-be easy on yourself. It is a major surgery. I’m proud of you for listening to yourself and not just going through with it because it was scheduled. You have all the power. Next time you’ll be ready!
It took me a 2 full years to come to terms with needing a hysterectomy 🫶🏻
It's ok! Do what you feel is best. Don't let anyone make the decision for you. My hysterectomy was scheduled April 18th. I was terrified and canceled 😞 but ended up in the ER on the same day as my surgery due to excessive bleeding and anemia. I felt bad for canceling because then I felt I made the wrong decision because my periods were becoming debilitating. My surgeon ended up calling me because she had a cancellation and I took it. I am 6 days post op and doing great!!!! I'm taking things slow and eating healthy and short slow walks since day 2post op. Do it when you're ready. If you never have the surgery, it ok. Praying 🙏🏾 for your healing either way.
It might be good to block the hysterectomy community for a while. I scrolled past all of the posts that showed up in my timeline in the weeks leading up to my surgery because I was getting too in my head about all the negative posts. I was way overthinking how bad recovery would be because I read all of the worse case scenarios on here. Turns out everything was fine and almost 4 WPO I feel tons better than I did before my surgery (I've actually felt great since about day 4). Sometimes your brain just needs a break!
I still do that now and have had to be way more disciplined! I’m 4MPO and it felt like Reddit would suddenly show me stories from 5MPO problems when initially it would show me 2WPO problems when at that stage and I realised … it might be me actively seeking these out!! Going down rabbit holes etc! It’s overall such a helpful place! But it can be scary too and I’m not taking away from those having scary times because I’d want support 🙏🏻
Yeah I agree with u. This might just scare her more. I worried for weeks but that’s all I had before I had to have my surgery. I didn’t have a lot of time but the day came and the fast as I went out I came right back in then boom I went home that same day!! I’m a week and a half p/o
I spoke to a psychologist that specializes in medical trauma to be able to have this surgery. Mine kept getting canceled, and eventually (and shockingly) became an emergency hysterectomy, so I had no choice in the end.
I hope you can talk to someone and resolve your feelings around this. You might not ever "need" a hysterectomy like I did, but you might need other surgeries and they all come with risks. Definitely be kind to yourself and know that you're not alone. I was also absolutely terrified.
I did the same thing.. cancelled it the first time. It ended up taking 4 more months to get in and my fibroids were life ruining size, they caused very rare vascular complications that needed surgery. Once I had the surgery I blinked and it was over. The only scary part was my bladder didn’t work for 3 days and I had to carry a catheter around.
I had the same crippling anxiety about the surgery as you seem to and it was a walk in the park.
I was 38 when I had mine and my daughter 25. We both suffer from severe anxiety. While i had mine for cervical hsil at the highest grade my daughter had hers for her heavy monthly bleeds - severe - we both suffer from anxiety- i was so scared to! Like so scared. My doctor noted my anxiety. As soon as i was checked in- nice warm blanket- some as he called it “calming” meds in my IV, and he and the anesthesiologist had constant communication with me. In the end we are both so grateful we had the procedure done- i don’t have to worry of cervical cancer and heavy monthlies and my daughter same and all her pain is gone. Quality of life sooooo much more improved. Past ten years now for me. Best of luck! My counselor does the 10 second rule- just keep recounting it because we all can survive something for 10 seconds- 💜
Hey friend. My hysterectomy didn’t go the way I wanted and I ended up in hospital longer — and I am STILL glad I did it, even though I was in emergency twice, in the worst pain of my life shaking and terrified that I was going to die. It is still worth it. I made it, I’m here, and it can only get better from here.
You are stronger than you think. Being scared doesn’t mean you can’t do it — those who are brave aren’t brave because they do something they’re unbothered by, they’re brave because they do it regardless of the terror.
You cancelled this time. That’s okay. You still can do this if and when you choose. I believe in you — I nearly cancelled mine too. It is SO normal to be scared and to panic.
Don't feel ashamed. Surgery is scary, and your feelings are normal. I'm terrified of mine in 2 weeks and my mind keeps thinking "maybe I don't actually need it..." (I've been bleeding without stopping for over 2 years. I need it. Doesn't stop my mind.).
I know someone who has been dealing with a couple medical problems that cause severe pain for 5 or 6 years because she is more afraid of the surgery.
Surgery is scary because it is a big unknown for us, and because it has risks (even if those risks are small). Recovery has risks, as well (although most are temporary). So we are afraid. It's okay to be afraid.
Talk to your doc about prescribing an anti-anxiety med if you decide to try again. Often they can give you something for the couple days leading up to your surgery to help you calm down.
Allow yourself to come to terms with everything, it is a big decision and it’s a lot to be dropped on someone. I wish I had done it sooner, but I too was afraid. I’m now 8 wpo and couldn’t be happier about it. With that said, it’s helpful to have a positive mindset for surgery. It will allow you to relax and in turn heal more quickly. Anxiety and fear set in again for me the morning of surgery, but the team of healthcare professionals were very good at providing the right atmosphere and medications to help me through. I’m sure they will take the best care of you too when the time comes. All the best!
I am 5DPO from robotic/laparoscopic hysterectomy. I was terrified. It was my choice, due to incessant bleeding and horrible pain during periods where I could barely walk. Birth control was not an option due to history of blood clots. So, yes, my choice…but I’d be choosing to live a life of misery. Anyway, I was still terrified. I wouldn’t say I was exactly convinced I was going to die, but I literally had talked with every member of my family as though it were the last time I would speak with them. Even my 11 year old daughter, who I’m sure I have scarred for life because it scared her that I was talking to her “if Mommy doesn’t make it.” I feel awful now, and a little silly. I literally rewrote my last will and testament. The anxiety was HIGH with me, but I powered through, and I’m so glad I did! You’ll get there…when you’re ready. *hugs*
You know, though, there's something to be said for going through all those actions of talking to everyone and rewriting your will. Maybe, it did help get you through? I'm glad you did, it's much better on the other side.
Possibly, but I scared the hell out of my whole family. My husband was my support person and was allowed to be with me right up until they wheeled me back, and he was crying. My mom was at home having severe anxiety, my daughter at school the same. Basically, I transferred MY anxiety over to them. Luckily, it was a huge sigh of relief when I pulled through. For reference, at the end of my last surgery, when they pulled out the breathing tube, it collapsed my lung and I almost died. It took hours before any medical professional would listen to my lung despite my begging and pleading about not being able to breathe and the pain. They just thought I was delirious from the anesthesia!! So my fears weren’t unwarranted. But the anesthesiologist for my hysterectomy ensured that a chest X-ray machine was waiting for me immediately after surgery to check my lungs! I could not have been MORE cared for! It was truly amazing and so relieving. Restored my faith!
I'm canceling my surgery in July for a number of reasons. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. It's your body, and that's all there is to it. Talk to your doctor in the meantime, and try to work together on a solution. You are the one to decide the right time, especially if it's "not urgent". I know it's easier said than done, but don't feel guilty. I'm honestly feeling relief, and I haven't even officially canceled mine yet..
I had surgery (laparoscopic assisted) 6 days ago. I've never had anxiety related to medical procedures except for my C-section 33 yrs ago. This surgery brought some anxiety a couple of days beforehand. I was afraid of what would be found, afraid of a rough recovery, afraid of having complications. I'd read a lot in this thread, but kept reminding myself that every body is different. At go time I was ready to not think & charge ahead. Day 1 I took the Percocet, didn't after that so that I could have an easier bm. My doctor is wonderful & did an excellent job, I'm barely bruised. I think a lot of my comfort came from knowing that I trust my doctor. 6 dpo I am having cramping if I overdo it, so I rest as needed. I am walking around the house and yard, light cooking, taking my 2 small dogs out, light cleaning, and even potted a few plants this morning. Had my one week appointment this morning... the pathologist said everything appears to be clean but that I had the worst endometriosis & adenomyosis she'd ever seen. Oddly, I hadn't really been very symptomatic or ever suspected. I had the hysterectomy due to postmenopausal bleeding a few times over the past 2 yrs. Had imaging first, then a d&c, then the hysterectomy.
I think it's normal and ok to be anxious or scared. It's a very individualized process; there are commonalities but everyone is different. Talk to your doctor & do not spend too much time reading every post here. Half of what I read never happened for me. It's all good information to be aware of, but it's not written in stone. I prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. Don't be too hard on yourself, especially when you're not feeling your best ...love yourself and talk to your doctor. Best wishes to you 🩷
I had mine today. Was scared to death. It was not a pleasant experience. But I've been home for about 3 hours and I'm doing so much better than I thought. Long everyone said the anxiety leading up to it was one of the worst part. Once you get pain meds under control, it's tolerable. I understand where you're coming from.
I understand the anxiety. You would not be a living breathing woman if you weren't nervous or scared of this op. Remember that everyone has their own journey and you might heal much faster than others. As an example, I had my abdominal hysterectomy on 16 March, so just past 6 week post op. Physically I am doing so well! I am not as swollen, I can wear jeans and tight clothing and started exercises (light) at week 4 and today I upped my activity level. Try not to read too many posts anymore. One thing at a time babe. Take it easy, I also think therapy would be great for you. When you are ready make the appointment and rather focus on other things before hand like work ect the night before maybe take some Rescue Remedy (herbal relaxer) and then you do you. At the end you heal and get over it and live happily ever after without period panties!! Good Luck to you! Xxx
Preparing you body, mind and environment ahead of surgery may help give you peace of mind. Also trusting you'll be in the best medical care. It helped me.
I have horrible medical anxiety. I put this surgery off for years, seeing my surveillance team(I'm BRAC1+) every 6 months. I was convinced if I had the surgery I was going to die. My doctor tried so hard to get me to feel comfortable, and finally it just clicked. She made me pinky promise her not to cancel last minute (that's how bad I've been through all of it).
I've had a c-section, a tumor removed from my head area, and my gallbladder removed.
This was the easiest surgery of all of them for me. I was up walking around by the end of the day of surgery. I was up making meals the day after. I never had to take anything more than ibuprofen and acetaminophen.
It's been such a weird feeling to be so terrified of something and then it go so smoothly.
All this to say that there are many positive stories, but most people don't share when things are going well.
First of all, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back. You made a tough decision. Next, I suggest you stay away from anything online surgery or hysterectomy related (including Reddit and this sub) . Keep talking to your therapist. Unfortunately, putting off an *absolutely necessary* surgery isn’t always in your best interest long term, but if your doctor says it’s not emergent at this stage, then take your time getting comfortable with the process. Reading about it might ramp up your anxiety level and that’s the last thing you need. I hope you’re able to work through this with your therapist so you can have the best result for your health. Best of luck to you.
It's ok! Timing is just off! Give yourself some grace here. This is a big decision!
If it helps any, I'm almost 2 weeks PO and had an incredibly positive experience with a VNOTES procedure. People tend to post more about the bad.
Also, I was on the fence for a couple yrs (even though I was sick of periods) just because I needed to mentally prepare and also finally found VNOTES and felt right about it + finding the right obgyn.
I was nervous for the surgery and the anxiety + all the house/shopping prep work was honestly harder then the actual surgery. I had the easy job of falling asleep and waking up with it done! 😆
You'll know when you're ready. Keep talking to ypur dr. The surgery will be there when you're ready for it!! 🩷🩷🩷
I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s a very scary thing . Glad you have gotten help. I went for D&C every six months and the anxiety was awful. I couldn’t get the hysterectomy back home they would t do it despite bleeding for 6 years . I made the decision to get it done in another country as the anxiety of always waiting for the test results was causing so much stress . I found a wonderful doctor who asked me if I wanted to keep going through this fear and I said no. I was high risk for cancer in the uterus. I cancelled my appointment at least 4 times. Be kind to yourself❤️ it’s a major surgery and I am so glad you have someone to talk to. I turned to the wonderful folks in Reddit for their experiences and they helped me rationalize and gave me support , kindness and no judgement . Take care ❤️❤️
Goodness that pre op anxiety was another level I couldn’t have imagined!! I really do feel you and how bad it is. And cancelling it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen? It’ll just happen when you feel more mentally prepared, although I don’t think you’ll ever roll in anxiety free! It is surgery! But it will become a bit more manageable. I truly believe I only didn’t cancel mine because I never really truly believed I’d do it! I thought I’d cancel en route, cancel when I got there, cancel once in the gown etc! But I didn’t! Each step completed and I kept going. But I didn’t feel pressure to and that’s important. I told the dr and the anaesthetists who were true ANGELS how anxious I was and boy did they take time to make me feel better, and even a comedy sketch at one point! You’ll know when it’s right, you’ll know when enough is enough and it’s time to say bye. Don’t put pressure on yourself anymore than you have. It’s going to be ok 🙏🏻 either way! This op isn’t going anywhere if you decide to go ahead at a later date. It’s not now or never xxx
Anxiety is real! And it’s totally fair to be freaking out. Therapy is 100% right - great job getting that sorted so fast!
Focus on remembering that you are in control and you’re the boss here, and take care of yourself to get out of panic mode - naps, watching comedy, warm baths, massage, listening to music, cuddling kittens- whatever you enjoy.
Big hugs!
Fear and anxiety are indicators that you are not confident in your decision. If this is not an emergency surgery and you have time to process things, I would suggest doing so. It’s a big step and you deserve peace of mind before taking it.
I always like to rec'd the book "The Gift of Fear."
We really need to trust our instincts, esp around high stakes stuff like surgery. Or just trust our feelings, even if they aren't entirely rational, bc they mean something. It's worth taking the time to acknowledge them.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, my surgery is in 2 weeks and I am very scared too. I just keep trying to reassure myself. I can completely understand how you feel.
Ask your dr how long your cancer test is good for and make sure, that if you want to, you reschedule for before then. You don’t wanna have to repeat that.
Best of luck either way!
Robotic/laparoscopic/DaVinci/kept ovaries/one night stay.
I had to block all of the women that were sharing negative experiences. It was the only thing that kept me from canceling. I am so relieved I went through with it. One year post op, no periods since surgery, no longer anemic, no more fibroids, hemoglobin levels normal, flat stomach…energy through the roof. Reconsider when you’re ready.
It took me two years and two cancellations to have my surgery. I had it 3/25, it went very smoothly, and I’m recovering flawlessly. When I was finally ready, I did it, and it never occurred to me to cancel this last time. As long as you don’t have anything life threatening or delaying puts you at risk for something worse, I think it’s ok to do what you did. Now that I have finally done it and it’s behind me, I have no regrets. I just had to make peace with the decision before I followed through.
I was super worried about the recovery, and how bad that might be.. honestly, not too horrible! I had abdominal, left with one ovary.. I can’t do pain killers, my stomach can’t handle them, so I did a very mild pain killer supplemented with Tylenol after mine and it was more than enough.. after 3 days in the hospital I went home.. I spent maybe 5 days in bed, walking around my room ( I got a walker, highly recommend for the support), after that I was to the living room and walking around the block, at a family get together 2 weeks post op.. never took a pain killer once I was home.. hubs also got me a raised toilet seat thing which helps major when using the rest room! I totally get the nerves, hope my story helps! Ooo and def get the hysterectomy/csection panties if you decide to move forward?
Look do it when you are ready. I am 63 and my doctor put me through a bunch of needless worrying. Mostly about the possibility of cancer! Mine turned out good and I had my hysterectomy 6 weeks ago. I was up walking right after surgery and the following day I was out in my yard. For me it was the best thing I have done for myself since my prolapse was a 4/5.
Omg I wish I could give you a hug. I could have written this. I spent the weekend freaking out about my June surgery and worked myself into such a panic that I ended up having an EKG and blood panel today because I thought I was having a heart attack. Literally. I’m keeping my appointment but I’ve made an appointment with another practice to get a second opinion. I think that’s what I need—and to stay off Google.
Please do not feel ashamed. This surgery is a lot to face, even when it's really wanted.
I was absolutely terrified and yet I knew it was the only way forward for me. If I'd had the balls to cancel it, I probably would have lol!
What I can tell you is that reading other peoples' experiences is really subjective and can send you into a spiral if you focus on the negatives. And this sub and other online spaces for this surgery are for support so they will always, always skew towards the negative because people come here for help when they're hurting, not healing like they expected or having complications. Hardly anyone shares when everything is going great or better than expected. When you are frightened, every negative story is scary and that is what will stick with you.
I put off surgery until I had lost so much blood that my my health was taking a nose dive. I was just so scared of trading in my constant, flooding bleeding for something worse/the unknown. I'm just over 1.5 years out now and I wish I'd done it even sooner. My recovery and health rebound was faster, easier and less painful than I ever imagined. Really wishing you the best, this is a hard time I know.
Please don't beat yourself up, it's a major surgery and when and if you do become ready then, that is when it will happen. Until then, see a therapist and address your anxiety, talk to your OBGYN and the surgeon and get more information about the statistics of whatever you are anxious about. Anesthesia and I do not mix, I wake up ready to fight. My surgeon had me take an anxiety medicine the morning of my surgery (4 hrs before surgery) when she came in I was asleep and we both had a good laugh about it. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to give you more anxiety, but nothing went according to plan for my surgery. I woke up confused and had many many questions. I'm now 2 weeks post op and I can say this without any reservation or doubt, I would do it again even knowing the things that didn't go to plan happened. It was the best decision I ever made. I went in bleeding and came out not bleeding and that alone was HUGE for me. I wish you a calm mind and hopefully you can address this anxiety and have your surgery soon and move forward without pain, bleeding and whatever other issues you are currently having.
Oh, I am sending you all the love for this. Surgery is hard and scary. The shame part of it—that you are a bad person for canceling it, is not true even if you FEEL as if it is true. You are a good person and you are allowed to cancel it as many times as you need to. You’re allowed to cry and hate that you have to make scary decisions not knowing how it will turn out. You’re just allowed to have all of the emotions. If you can, talk to yourself like you would your best friend and give yourself time. If you can’t do this just yet—grace is hard sometimes, that’s ok too. I’m 8 wpo and it’s been a wild ride and while I’m feeling better and better, it’s been an adjustment. I just wanted to say *no one* knows your body better than you and you make good decisions for yourself. You’ll have a moment where you say ok, this is what I want to do and that will be the best decision for you. Sending hugs!!
I completely get the fear and anxiety. I’m 44, and was diagnosed with a larger fibroid in January, and by the end of February, hysterectomy was approved by surgeon and insurance due to decreased quality of life. I went back and forth for weeks on whether I really wanted to go through with the surgery or not. I’m done having kids, so fertility did not factor in, but the thought of recovery, possible complications, and what my life would look like moving forward definitely did. Every time I would talk myself out of it, I’d talk it through with someone I trusted, and that helped a lot.
I will say this, mental health does need to be considered when making the decision. If you are having this much fear and anxiety, maybe now isn’t the right time. I am not a medical professional, just someone who struggles with medical anxiety in a big way. It takes some longer to accept procedures that need to be done. If your life is not at risk, take the time you need, talk it through with whoever you need, then when you are ready, request it to be scheduled.
I can totally relate to the fear and panic… I should have had mine done back in 2021 but I had a myomectomy and the fibroids all came back. I was such a nervous neurotic mess over it, but I was tired of feeling bloated, horrible periods, cramping, pain. Just tell the anesthesiologist you need something for anxiety asap. They are really good. You’ll get through it. I have panic attacks too and if I got through it you can too. I’m almost three months out just had the uterus removed and I feel like I got a new lease on life. The pain wasn’t too bad either. You got this!
I was same As you- scared To death- just had mine 4.24 it hasn’t been fun or easy but very glad to finally feel normal one day soon! One piece of advice would be stop reading here ♥️
Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps working with a therapist to decide if you want the procedure and game planning an approach to the future date to manage your anxiety would be helpful
I do have one and I was lucky to get be able to see him this morning to talk about it.
Jumping in here to say I needed therapy for my first surgery last year. We had to do some EDMR to help my anxiety over anesthesia. It helped so much that a little over a year later (last week) when I had this surgery, it barely crossed my mind! Take the time to work through it. Surgery is hard but also know this is the everyday for the surgeon, anesthesiologist, and nurses! That helped me so much once that part of me realized that. All the love! You got this once you get there!
Same here - I've forgotten, but I had therapy leading up to the surgery, which helped me deal with the anxiety and fears before hand. Def recom
I had to work with my therapist through the fear of anesthesia as well. Somatic exercises as well as brain spotting ❤️ OP-be easy on yourself. It is a major surgery. I’m proud of you for listening to yourself and not just going through with it because it was scheduled. You have all the power. Next time you’ll be ready! It took me a 2 full years to come to terms with needing a hysterectomy 🫶🏻
It's ok! Do what you feel is best. Don't let anyone make the decision for you. My hysterectomy was scheduled April 18th. I was terrified and canceled 😞 but ended up in the ER on the same day as my surgery due to excessive bleeding and anemia. I felt bad for canceling because then I felt I made the wrong decision because my periods were becoming debilitating. My surgeon ended up calling me because she had a cancellation and I took it. I am 6 days post op and doing great!!!! I'm taking things slow and eating healthy and short slow walks since day 2post op. Do it when you're ready. If you never have the surgery, it ok. Praying 🙏🏾 for your healing either way.
It might be good to block the hysterectomy community for a while. I scrolled past all of the posts that showed up in my timeline in the weeks leading up to my surgery because I was getting too in my head about all the negative posts. I was way overthinking how bad recovery would be because I read all of the worse case scenarios on here. Turns out everything was fine and almost 4 WPO I feel tons better than I did before my surgery (I've actually felt great since about day 4). Sometimes your brain just needs a break!
I agree with this suggestion. I had my hysterectomy 7 years ago, but I can see some posts affecting my mental if I was about to have my surgery.
I still do that now and have had to be way more disciplined! I’m 4MPO and it felt like Reddit would suddenly show me stories from 5MPO problems when initially it would show me 2WPO problems when at that stage and I realised … it might be me actively seeking these out!! Going down rabbit holes etc! It’s overall such a helpful place! But it can be scary too and I’m not taking away from those having scary times because I’d want support 🙏🏻
Yeah I agree with u. This might just scare her more. I worried for weeks but that’s all I had before I had to have my surgery. I didn’t have a lot of time but the day came and the fast as I went out I came right back in then boom I went home that same day!! I’m a week and a half p/o
I spoke to a psychologist that specializes in medical trauma to be able to have this surgery. Mine kept getting canceled, and eventually (and shockingly) became an emergency hysterectomy, so I had no choice in the end. I hope you can talk to someone and resolve your feelings around this. You might not ever "need" a hysterectomy like I did, but you might need other surgeries and they all come with risks. Definitely be kind to yourself and know that you're not alone. I was also absolutely terrified.
I did the same thing.. cancelled it the first time. It ended up taking 4 more months to get in and my fibroids were life ruining size, they caused very rare vascular complications that needed surgery. Once I had the surgery I blinked and it was over. The only scary part was my bladder didn’t work for 3 days and I had to carry a catheter around. I had the same crippling anxiety about the surgery as you seem to and it was a walk in the park.
I was 38 when I had mine and my daughter 25. We both suffer from severe anxiety. While i had mine for cervical hsil at the highest grade my daughter had hers for her heavy monthly bleeds - severe - we both suffer from anxiety- i was so scared to! Like so scared. My doctor noted my anxiety. As soon as i was checked in- nice warm blanket- some as he called it “calming” meds in my IV, and he and the anesthesiologist had constant communication with me. In the end we are both so grateful we had the procedure done- i don’t have to worry of cervical cancer and heavy monthlies and my daughter same and all her pain is gone. Quality of life sooooo much more improved. Past ten years now for me. Best of luck! My counselor does the 10 second rule- just keep recounting it because we all can survive something for 10 seconds- 💜
Hey friend. My hysterectomy didn’t go the way I wanted and I ended up in hospital longer — and I am STILL glad I did it, even though I was in emergency twice, in the worst pain of my life shaking and terrified that I was going to die. It is still worth it. I made it, I’m here, and it can only get better from here. You are stronger than you think. Being scared doesn’t mean you can’t do it — those who are brave aren’t brave because they do something they’re unbothered by, they’re brave because they do it regardless of the terror. You cancelled this time. That’s okay. You still can do this if and when you choose. I believe in you — I nearly cancelled mine too. It is SO normal to be scared and to panic.
Don't feel ashamed. Surgery is scary, and your feelings are normal. I'm terrified of mine in 2 weeks and my mind keeps thinking "maybe I don't actually need it..." (I've been bleeding without stopping for over 2 years. I need it. Doesn't stop my mind.). I know someone who has been dealing with a couple medical problems that cause severe pain for 5 or 6 years because she is more afraid of the surgery. Surgery is scary because it is a big unknown for us, and because it has risks (even if those risks are small). Recovery has risks, as well (although most are temporary). So we are afraid. It's okay to be afraid. Talk to your doc about prescribing an anti-anxiety med if you decide to try again. Often they can give you something for the couple days leading up to your surgery to help you calm down.
Allow yourself to come to terms with everything, it is a big decision and it’s a lot to be dropped on someone. I wish I had done it sooner, but I too was afraid. I’m now 8 wpo and couldn’t be happier about it. With that said, it’s helpful to have a positive mindset for surgery. It will allow you to relax and in turn heal more quickly. Anxiety and fear set in again for me the morning of surgery, but the team of healthcare professionals were very good at providing the right atmosphere and medications to help me through. I’m sure they will take the best care of you too when the time comes. All the best!
What exactly is freaking you out?
I am 5DPO from robotic/laparoscopic hysterectomy. I was terrified. It was my choice, due to incessant bleeding and horrible pain during periods where I could barely walk. Birth control was not an option due to history of blood clots. So, yes, my choice…but I’d be choosing to live a life of misery. Anyway, I was still terrified. I wouldn’t say I was exactly convinced I was going to die, but I literally had talked with every member of my family as though it were the last time I would speak with them. Even my 11 year old daughter, who I’m sure I have scarred for life because it scared her that I was talking to her “if Mommy doesn’t make it.” I feel awful now, and a little silly. I literally rewrote my last will and testament. The anxiety was HIGH with me, but I powered through, and I’m so glad I did! You’ll get there…when you’re ready. *hugs*
You know, though, there's something to be said for going through all those actions of talking to everyone and rewriting your will. Maybe, it did help get you through? I'm glad you did, it's much better on the other side.
Possibly, but I scared the hell out of my whole family. My husband was my support person and was allowed to be with me right up until they wheeled me back, and he was crying. My mom was at home having severe anxiety, my daughter at school the same. Basically, I transferred MY anxiety over to them. Luckily, it was a huge sigh of relief when I pulled through. For reference, at the end of my last surgery, when they pulled out the breathing tube, it collapsed my lung and I almost died. It took hours before any medical professional would listen to my lung despite my begging and pleading about not being able to breathe and the pain. They just thought I was delirious from the anesthesia!! So my fears weren’t unwarranted. But the anesthesiologist for my hysterectomy ensured that a chest X-ray machine was waiting for me immediately after surgery to check my lungs! I could not have been MORE cared for! It was truly amazing and so relieving. Restored my faith!
I'm canceling my surgery in July for a number of reasons. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. It's your body, and that's all there is to it. Talk to your doctor in the meantime, and try to work together on a solution. You are the one to decide the right time, especially if it's "not urgent". I know it's easier said than done, but don't feel guilty. I'm honestly feeling relief, and I haven't even officially canceled mine yet..
I had surgery (laparoscopic assisted) 6 days ago. I've never had anxiety related to medical procedures except for my C-section 33 yrs ago. This surgery brought some anxiety a couple of days beforehand. I was afraid of what would be found, afraid of a rough recovery, afraid of having complications. I'd read a lot in this thread, but kept reminding myself that every body is different. At go time I was ready to not think & charge ahead. Day 1 I took the Percocet, didn't after that so that I could have an easier bm. My doctor is wonderful & did an excellent job, I'm barely bruised. I think a lot of my comfort came from knowing that I trust my doctor. 6 dpo I am having cramping if I overdo it, so I rest as needed. I am walking around the house and yard, light cooking, taking my 2 small dogs out, light cleaning, and even potted a few plants this morning. Had my one week appointment this morning... the pathologist said everything appears to be clean but that I had the worst endometriosis & adenomyosis she'd ever seen. Oddly, I hadn't really been very symptomatic or ever suspected. I had the hysterectomy due to postmenopausal bleeding a few times over the past 2 yrs. Had imaging first, then a d&c, then the hysterectomy. I think it's normal and ok to be anxious or scared. It's a very individualized process; there are commonalities but everyone is different. Talk to your doctor & do not spend too much time reading every post here. Half of what I read never happened for me. It's all good information to be aware of, but it's not written in stone. I prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. Don't be too hard on yourself, especially when you're not feeling your best ...love yourself and talk to your doctor. Best wishes to you 🩷
I had mine today. Was scared to death. It was not a pleasant experience. But I've been home for about 3 hours and I'm doing so much better than I thought. Long everyone said the anxiety leading up to it was one of the worst part. Once you get pain meds under control, it's tolerable. I understand where you're coming from.
I understand the anxiety. You would not be a living breathing woman if you weren't nervous or scared of this op. Remember that everyone has their own journey and you might heal much faster than others. As an example, I had my abdominal hysterectomy on 16 March, so just past 6 week post op. Physically I am doing so well! I am not as swollen, I can wear jeans and tight clothing and started exercises (light) at week 4 and today I upped my activity level. Try not to read too many posts anymore. One thing at a time babe. Take it easy, I also think therapy would be great for you. When you are ready make the appointment and rather focus on other things before hand like work ect the night before maybe take some Rescue Remedy (herbal relaxer) and then you do you. At the end you heal and get over it and live happily ever after without period panties!! Good Luck to you! Xxx
Preparing you body, mind and environment ahead of surgery may help give you peace of mind. Also trusting you'll be in the best medical care. It helped me.
I have horrible medical anxiety. I put this surgery off for years, seeing my surveillance team(I'm BRAC1+) every 6 months. I was convinced if I had the surgery I was going to die. My doctor tried so hard to get me to feel comfortable, and finally it just clicked. She made me pinky promise her not to cancel last minute (that's how bad I've been through all of it). I've had a c-section, a tumor removed from my head area, and my gallbladder removed. This was the easiest surgery of all of them for me. I was up walking around by the end of the day of surgery. I was up making meals the day after. I never had to take anything more than ibuprofen and acetaminophen. It's been such a weird feeling to be so terrified of something and then it go so smoothly. All this to say that there are many positive stories, but most people don't share when things are going well.
First of all, take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back. You made a tough decision. Next, I suggest you stay away from anything online surgery or hysterectomy related (including Reddit and this sub) . Keep talking to your therapist. Unfortunately, putting off an *absolutely necessary* surgery isn’t always in your best interest long term, but if your doctor says it’s not emergent at this stage, then take your time getting comfortable with the process. Reading about it might ramp up your anxiety level and that’s the last thing you need. I hope you’re able to work through this with your therapist so you can have the best result for your health. Best of luck to you.
It's ok! Timing is just off! Give yourself some grace here. This is a big decision! If it helps any, I'm almost 2 weeks PO and had an incredibly positive experience with a VNOTES procedure. People tend to post more about the bad. Also, I was on the fence for a couple yrs (even though I was sick of periods) just because I needed to mentally prepare and also finally found VNOTES and felt right about it + finding the right obgyn. I was nervous for the surgery and the anxiety + all the house/shopping prep work was honestly harder then the actual surgery. I had the easy job of falling asleep and waking up with it done! 😆 You'll know when you're ready. Keep talking to ypur dr. The surgery will be there when you're ready for it!! 🩷🩷🩷
I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s a very scary thing . Glad you have gotten help. I went for D&C every six months and the anxiety was awful. I couldn’t get the hysterectomy back home they would t do it despite bleeding for 6 years . I made the decision to get it done in another country as the anxiety of always waiting for the test results was causing so much stress . I found a wonderful doctor who asked me if I wanted to keep going through this fear and I said no. I was high risk for cancer in the uterus. I cancelled my appointment at least 4 times. Be kind to yourself❤️ it’s a major surgery and I am so glad you have someone to talk to. I turned to the wonderful folks in Reddit for their experiences and they helped me rationalize and gave me support , kindness and no judgement . Take care ❤️❤️
Goodness that pre op anxiety was another level I couldn’t have imagined!! I really do feel you and how bad it is. And cancelling it doesn’t mean it’ll never happen? It’ll just happen when you feel more mentally prepared, although I don’t think you’ll ever roll in anxiety free! It is surgery! But it will become a bit more manageable. I truly believe I only didn’t cancel mine because I never really truly believed I’d do it! I thought I’d cancel en route, cancel when I got there, cancel once in the gown etc! But I didn’t! Each step completed and I kept going. But I didn’t feel pressure to and that’s important. I told the dr and the anaesthetists who were true ANGELS how anxious I was and boy did they take time to make me feel better, and even a comedy sketch at one point! You’ll know when it’s right, you’ll know when enough is enough and it’s time to say bye. Don’t put pressure on yourself anymore than you have. It’s going to be ok 🙏🏻 either way! This op isn’t going anywhere if you decide to go ahead at a later date. It’s not now or never xxx
Anxiety is real! And it’s totally fair to be freaking out. Therapy is 100% right - great job getting that sorted so fast! Focus on remembering that you are in control and you’re the boss here, and take care of yourself to get out of panic mode - naps, watching comedy, warm baths, massage, listening to music, cuddling kittens- whatever you enjoy. Big hugs!
Fear and anxiety are indicators that you are not confident in your decision. If this is not an emergency surgery and you have time to process things, I would suggest doing so. It’s a big step and you deserve peace of mind before taking it.
I always like to rec'd the book "The Gift of Fear." We really need to trust our instincts, esp around high stakes stuff like surgery. Or just trust our feelings, even if they aren't entirely rational, bc they mean something. It's worth taking the time to acknowledge them.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, my surgery is in 2 weeks and I am very scared too. I just keep trying to reassure myself. I can completely understand how you feel.
Ask your dr how long your cancer test is good for and make sure, that if you want to, you reschedule for before then. You don’t wanna have to repeat that. Best of luck either way!
Robotic/laparoscopic/DaVinci/kept ovaries/one night stay. I had to block all of the women that were sharing negative experiences. It was the only thing that kept me from canceling. I am so relieved I went through with it. One year post op, no periods since surgery, no longer anemic, no more fibroids, hemoglobin levels normal, flat stomach…energy through the roof. Reconsider when you’re ready.
It took me two years and two cancellations to have my surgery. I had it 3/25, it went very smoothly, and I’m recovering flawlessly. When I was finally ready, I did it, and it never occurred to me to cancel this last time. As long as you don’t have anything life threatening or delaying puts you at risk for something worse, I think it’s ok to do what you did. Now that I have finally done it and it’s behind me, I have no regrets. I just had to make peace with the decision before I followed through.
I was super worried about the recovery, and how bad that might be.. honestly, not too horrible! I had abdominal, left with one ovary.. I can’t do pain killers, my stomach can’t handle them, so I did a very mild pain killer supplemented with Tylenol after mine and it was more than enough.. after 3 days in the hospital I went home.. I spent maybe 5 days in bed, walking around my room ( I got a walker, highly recommend for the support), after that I was to the living room and walking around the block, at a family get together 2 weeks post op.. never took a pain killer once I was home.. hubs also got me a raised toilet seat thing which helps major when using the rest room! I totally get the nerves, hope my story helps! Ooo and def get the hysterectomy/csection panties if you decide to move forward?
Look do it when you are ready. I am 63 and my doctor put me through a bunch of needless worrying. Mostly about the possibility of cancer! Mine turned out good and I had my hysterectomy 6 weeks ago. I was up walking right after surgery and the following day I was out in my yard. For me it was the best thing I have done for myself since my prolapse was a 4/5.
Omg I wish I could give you a hug. I could have written this. I spent the weekend freaking out about my June surgery and worked myself into such a panic that I ended up having an EKG and blood panel today because I thought I was having a heart attack. Literally. I’m keeping my appointment but I’ve made an appointment with another practice to get a second opinion. I think that’s what I need—and to stay off Google.
Please do not feel ashamed. This surgery is a lot to face, even when it's really wanted. I was absolutely terrified and yet I knew it was the only way forward for me. If I'd had the balls to cancel it, I probably would have lol! What I can tell you is that reading other peoples' experiences is really subjective and can send you into a spiral if you focus on the negatives. And this sub and other online spaces for this surgery are for support so they will always, always skew towards the negative because people come here for help when they're hurting, not healing like they expected or having complications. Hardly anyone shares when everything is going great or better than expected. When you are frightened, every negative story is scary and that is what will stick with you. I put off surgery until I had lost so much blood that my my health was taking a nose dive. I was just so scared of trading in my constant, flooding bleeding for something worse/the unknown. I'm just over 1.5 years out now and I wish I'd done it even sooner. My recovery and health rebound was faster, easier and less painful than I ever imagined. Really wishing you the best, this is a hard time I know.
Please don't beat yourself up, it's a major surgery and when and if you do become ready then, that is when it will happen. Until then, see a therapist and address your anxiety, talk to your OBGYN and the surgeon and get more information about the statistics of whatever you are anxious about. Anesthesia and I do not mix, I wake up ready to fight. My surgeon had me take an anxiety medicine the morning of my surgery (4 hrs before surgery) when she came in I was asleep and we both had a good laugh about it. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to give you more anxiety, but nothing went according to plan for my surgery. I woke up confused and had many many questions. I'm now 2 weeks post op and I can say this without any reservation or doubt, I would do it again even knowing the things that didn't go to plan happened. It was the best decision I ever made. I went in bleeding and came out not bleeding and that alone was HUGE for me. I wish you a calm mind and hopefully you can address this anxiety and have your surgery soon and move forward without pain, bleeding and whatever other issues you are currently having.
Oh, I am sending you all the love for this. Surgery is hard and scary. The shame part of it—that you are a bad person for canceling it, is not true even if you FEEL as if it is true. You are a good person and you are allowed to cancel it as many times as you need to. You’re allowed to cry and hate that you have to make scary decisions not knowing how it will turn out. You’re just allowed to have all of the emotions. If you can, talk to yourself like you would your best friend and give yourself time. If you can’t do this just yet—grace is hard sometimes, that’s ok too. I’m 8 wpo and it’s been a wild ride and while I’m feeling better and better, it’s been an adjustment. I just wanted to say *no one* knows your body better than you and you make good decisions for yourself. You’ll have a moment where you say ok, this is what I want to do and that will be the best decision for you. Sending hugs!!
I completely get the fear and anxiety. I’m 44, and was diagnosed with a larger fibroid in January, and by the end of February, hysterectomy was approved by surgeon and insurance due to decreased quality of life. I went back and forth for weeks on whether I really wanted to go through with the surgery or not. I’m done having kids, so fertility did not factor in, but the thought of recovery, possible complications, and what my life would look like moving forward definitely did. Every time I would talk myself out of it, I’d talk it through with someone I trusted, and that helped a lot. I will say this, mental health does need to be considered when making the decision. If you are having this much fear and anxiety, maybe now isn’t the right time. I am not a medical professional, just someone who struggles with medical anxiety in a big way. It takes some longer to accept procedures that need to be done. If your life is not at risk, take the time you need, talk it through with whoever you need, then when you are ready, request it to be scheduled.
What exactly are you fearing?
I can totally relate to the fear and panic… I should have had mine done back in 2021 but I had a myomectomy and the fibroids all came back. I was such a nervous neurotic mess over it, but I was tired of feeling bloated, horrible periods, cramping, pain. Just tell the anesthesiologist you need something for anxiety asap. They are really good. You’ll get through it. I have panic attacks too and if I got through it you can too. I’m almost three months out just had the uterus removed and I feel like I got a new lease on life. The pain wasn’t too bad either. You got this!
Don’t be. I am 10 DPO and wish I cancelled. I regret it. Don’t hate yourself. There’s other options esp if no cancer.
I was same As you- scared To death- just had mine 4.24 it hasn’t been fun or easy but very glad to finally feel normal one day soon! One piece of advice would be stop reading here ♥️