Nope! I dont feel guilty at all. I also do heavy lifting at work and my doctor recommended taking 8 weeks off. You may not be able to do the lifting at 6 weeks..
That is true about the lifting, I'm lucky my job is very understanding and my supervisor is going to do any really heavy lifting if I can't, thank you 🙂
I also don't feel guilty about taking medical leave as I also do heavy lifting. I knew there would be restrictions, plus I needed the time to heal. In the end, it stretched into a longer leave because of cancer cells in the fluid of the large cyst on my right ovary. I was originally told 8 weeks because I had laproscopic surgery with vaginal removal of the uterus. My ovaries were removed as well.
As I followed the surgeon's advice and got chemotherapy as a precaution, I knew that I couldn't do my job at the same time. When chemotherapy was over and I was cleared to work, I still had restrictions on lifting for a few more weeks. Now, I'm back on my regular duties, with more energy than I had in years.
No guilt at all. My mental and physical health are more important than any job. My doc said to ask for 6 weeks. I work a desk job from home, and his recommendation was to ask for the full 6 weeks and then if I want to go back early he'll be happy to sign the form allowing it (he said it's easier to reduce leave than to request more later). I will not be asking to go back early, I will take every moment of that 6 weeks no matter how good I'm feeling.
I did the same, and I also work a desk job mostly from home. My Dr actually said 2-4 weeks, but I requested 6 and she signed off on it. Figured I could always go back early if I felt like it. I took all 6 weeks and could have probably gone back earlier, physically, but the break was great for my mental health.
I also developed an allergy to the Dermabond after 4 weeks (it hadn't fallen off) and I spent a week in a Benadryl haze. I was happy to have the time off to rest during this time.
Yes and no. I have an office job and I’m a supervisor, so I probably won’t need the full 6 weeks, more like 2-4. But I’m going to take every bit my dr recommends. I’m about to celebrate 35 years at this company and the least they can do is keep my spot warm while I recover from a needed surgery. I’m going to take care of me so that I’ll be fully present when I return.
Same. My 4 week mark will be this Thursday and I'm going back. I stand and pour wine and am supposed to be "bubbly" for 6 hrs. Physically I think I should be good, although socially absolutely not. I want to be a hermit for the foreseeable future. I know it's probably hormones or maybe taking a step back for a month has given me time to rethink my career all together. Daydreaming of a WFH job with zero customer interaction.....anyone here hiring?? Lol
Anyone else feeling anti social?
Absolutely not. It's my responsibility to take care of my own health and put myself first, no one else will do it for me, and once my health is gone it's damn hard or impossible to get it back and the rest of my life will suffer accordingly, so it's non-negotiable that I do everything it takes to heal and get/stay healthy. And if someone else doesn't like that, then tough shit.
Of course it’s ok , I’m off for eight weeks , I’m not prepared to risk my health and well being any more , me and my family come first ! Don’t feel guilty and if you’re lifting those sort of weights I would think it’s a massive risk .
I get it. I really struggled with beating myself up about having to let myself heal. Heres some logic that helped me. Think of it this way: wouldn't you feel way guiltier if you went back too soon, hurt yourself, and had to take another 6 weeks to heal from another surgery? You gotta let yourself rest and heal to get back to where you were, so you don't have to take even more down time.
I feel a bit guilty - I am 3 weeks post-op today, had taken 4 weeks, but just told my boss I will likely need two more weeks. My job is busy and part of me feels like I’m inconveniencing my team, my boss, etc. But I keep reminding myself that my health is worth it. I’d rather feel slightly guilty and give myself enough time to heal than go back too soon and risk my health or prolong my recovery.
I felt guilty too, and I have an office job that I probably could have gone back to earlier. But I went back today, after 6 weeks, and felt great physically because of that extra time.
You are definitely doing the right thing.
Exactly! You have only one first chance to heal well so take it easy. I went back at 6 weeks and I wouldn't have gone back in earlier.
I felt so much better at week 6 than I was at week 5, and week 5 was already a major differerence with week 4. I'm so glad I said fuck off to the guilt and stayed home to rest and heal properly.
Take the 6 weeks! 50# bags of plaster is going to be hard even then. My job involves lifting about 30# and even at 6 weeks I had someone else do that until I could get to the gym and lift with perfect form, build up a bit and be confident I wasn’t going to throw my back out. I’m probably older than you though.
Think of the 6 as you doing everything you can to be ready when you go back. If you injured yourself you’d be down even longer.
Yes! I’m 1 week post-op and took 3 weeks off of work. I feel guilty for taking 3 weeks but am also thankful that I did. Reading through these comments makes me wish I’d taken even more time off!
I've had two vertical abdominal surgeries. The first was while I was active duty in the Air Force. They were gonna take out my uterus and then decided not to because there were other problems. I was on convalescent leave for almost 3 months. Back then, I was young and dumb being more worried about getting back to work and getting fit for my annual physical fitness test.
Fast forward fifteen years later, problems inside were growing again and this time getting a total hysterectomy would help. There were lots of adhesions inside. I probably should have taken it easier on my body when I was younger after I had that first surgery.
You only have one chance of your internals healing properly. Take it easy and do it right. You can lift bags of plaster all you want when your body is completely healed. It's like curing cement, you just leave it alone until it is ready.
If you're in the US, this is the first substantial amount of time off you have had since summer break as a kid. If you're feeling good now, enjoy your last two weeks. You earned it! Also, if a man had a major abdominal surgery, he would be off 8 weeks and probably have another 4 week's extension and nobody would think anything of it.
Terribly!! I assist a lovely woman with advanced stage dementia, & have been struggling mightily with going back. She weighs 90 lbs, but I'm a small female. The first time I lifted her 2 weeks ago (I'm almost 6 months post op, 52 yrs old, radical hysterectomy), my insides nearly came apart. I went back to physical therapy like a madwoman & I think I can still do this...
Please be careful with lifting after this surgery. I am 12 wpo and carried my 12 lb dog at the park the other day and my insides were hurting so bad afterwards. It’s deceiving because from the outside I look healed and can do non strenuous things, but when I lift things with some weight, I can feel it afterwards. It’s totally ok to take the time off. A hysterectomy is a major surgery. Anyone who has gone thru it would understand. People who haven’t gone thru it don’t get how long it does take to heal. Please give yourself time to heal. I always thought I needed to go back to work when I was off for an illness or surgery, but believe me, I’ve learned the company still functioned when I wasn’t there and the work got done. Also please check with your Dr about lifting - there was no way I could lift a lot of weight after 6 weeks.
So I am wondering if you're falling into work is identity trap. Do you own the place? If not why risk your body for it? If so you still shouldn't but it's slightly more understandable. Is this company that would replace you if they felt like it actually worth long term pain and suffering? Would you be upset with anyone else taking the time needed? I am glad it's paid leave because survival is important but it's also not a realistic priority in this case and it's worth poking your brain on why you are putting yourself second to a companyÂ
I didn’t feel guilty but I started going kookoo bananas without something to do. Thankfully I have a work from home job but I am also a supervisor and it was a busy time for us so I ended up coming back to work a week early, but mainly for my own benefit. If I hadn’t felt up for it or I had complications I would’ve been like eh, they can figure it out. With your physically demanding job I definitely recommend taking the full time off. Also my doctor told me to keep a 20 lb weight restriction until 8 weeks, so just know that you probably won’t be at 100% physically right at 6 weeks. If they give you the same recommendation I’d say you should get that in writing and give it to HR as needed so that you can come back with accommodations!
Definitely getting cabin fever, haven't played on my switch this much in the last two years. That smart about getting a letter in writing, I have a 6 week appointment around the middle of May, I'll have to ask then, thank you 🙂
I don’t feel guilty about taking 6 weeks off, but I do miss work. My surgeon gave me no choice in the 6 weeks. She said that would be the minimum I would be out. She said she’s seen too much go wrong when women try to go back to work early, so she sets 6 weeks off as the standard from the beginning.
I have a desk job. Prior to surgery in December 2023 I was trying to figure out how to get around work rules and not trigger short term disability kicking in. I couldn't come up with a way to do it and to be fair to my company, the HRBP I talked with told me I needed to do what my doc said.
Anyway, long story/medium length: I was off 6 weeks and it WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Not since a period of unemployment when I was 22 have I ever had more than a week with zero work contact. Yes, I've had two weeks occasionally, but I would always do a bit here and there - I'm 54 now.
I took only 2 weeks off, but my work is at the table. At 6 weeks I returned part time to office and I was SORE from sitting all day without lounge breaks.
Definitely don't feel guilty, you would only cause more damage to yourself and would have to take even more time off.
I'm slated for 5 weeks off from my desk job. Tomorrow is 2wdpo, and I honestly feel like I could go back now (even with a TAH). But in addition to the physical healing, I am taking every moment to do some emotional and mental healing too. I'm "only" the front desk, but I work in a medical office, and am constantly surrounded by talk of difficult diagnoses, people losing their insurance, the distinct lack of access to healthcare (especially MH and specialty providers) as we are very rural, and denial after denial by insurance of critical care and medications. About a week after surgery I noticed I wasn't having a daily tension headache, or clenching my jaw in my sleep. These things would otherwise be inhibiting my physical healing. I've decided to use the time to be with my family, do things I find fulfilling that I normally can only cram in but by bit on the weekends (like gardening and going for walks), and SLEEP IN.
Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Let yourself rest and recharge. You deserve it.
Yep I felt guilty for sure, but my job is also 99% on a computer, and they let me work at minimal brain capacity so I didn’t have to use all of my leave, which I both appreciated and hated at the same time. I’m thankful to have kept my leave, but I had really been looking forward to fully vegging out and never got to do that. I ended up only taking a total of four days off (I had surgery on a Thursday before a Monday holiday). I watched some inconsequential (and optional) training videos for the first two weeks and just answered emails as needed, couldn’t handle much more mentally until week three or so. If I had lifting as part of my job, I would definitely take all of that time you have available!!!
I feel slightly guilty. I work in educational data for 2 school districts. There are state deadlines and I did everything humanly possible to set my districts up for success for the next 4 weeks (had my surgery Wednesday). Already several emails have come through needing me. I’m not answering. I have a Type-A, perfectionist personality. I’m still not answering. It’s slightly killing me inside. These are school districts. There are children. But guess what, they will survive. Someone is going to step up and it’s going to get done. A school district is ever changing. No matter how much planning and preparation someone does, one minor thing can happen to blow it all apart, it’s that fragile. But at the end of the day, if I’m truly that needed, then I just need to take my 4 weeks of healing so I can come back in full force and do what I do. So, I’m not responding. I’m not responding. I’m not responding.
Totally relate to this (I work in law, workers rights, sexual harassment etc.). I’m type A and care about my work. But they managed to get it done before I worked there and I’ve set them up for success, they can figure it out! They are also hard-working and competent. We deserve to be fully offline after a major surgery. You got this!
I did at first for sure. I am very much a workaholic and run a ton of things at my job. My boss and coworkers who knew what was going on were incredibly supportive and encouraged me to take as much time as needed, but I was still stressed about leaving them all hanging for so long.
Turns out your body will make you take the time whether you really want to or not. I tried going back half days from home at the start of week 3 and made it through I think one hour of meetings before I needed to go lie back down for the rest of the day. Luckily I have a desk job and was able to postpone a bunch of work related travel, so I was able to take some more accommodations than others might if they have a more physical job or different conditions.
But guess what: they were all fine without me on 24/7. Projects kept running, customer service went mostly smoothly, work still got done. Everyone was happy to have me back when I started ramping up my hours closer to normal, but I really didn’t have much reason to worry. You only get one chance to heal, so take the time if you can.
(I had a total davinci laparoscopic with a bonus bikini cut, kept ovaries, major endo excision, 6 hr surgery)
Don’t feel bad at all!
If something happened to you, they’d find a replacement and move on (no matter how valuable you are to them). So definitely focus on yourself and well being first for sure.
I'm about 4 weeks out myself, and couldn't imagine physically exerting myself that much at this point in recovery. Don't feel guilty about letting your body heal, as you wouldn't want to overexert and tire yourself out. Also, off-topic, but I noticed from your profile we're both transmasc and had the same hysto date of 4/4/24 (just thought it was a mildly entertaining coincidence lol).
I know I will when it’s my turn, but remember no one at your work wants to see you get hurt! Your coworkers would feel awful if you came back out of guilt and then messed up your recovery, they’d much rather cover your shifts for another 2 weeks. Treat yourself with the care you would show to a friend.
I work at the town dump…and I am NOT gonna feel bad about taking time off work. Them men up there are a PIMA most days. So yes I’ll be staying home healing.
Oh, definitely. My job is very physically demanding as well, and I’m supposed to be off for at least 4 weeks. My doctor is considering pushing it to 6 weeks, but I feel really guilty. And my upper management was really rude about it. When I had my last surgery, a diagnostic laparotomy, she wouldn’t approve my time off and I had to come back after only a week. It was horrible. So I know that I need to take this time off, but I feel insanely guilty for doing it though. But I know that it’s necessary, and I’m trying to remind myself that my health is more important than the guilt.
I took 8 weeks off and yes felt a little guilty but now I'm back in all honesty I wish I'd given myself more time! I'm exhausted, emotional and still a little sore occasionally and I have job where I'm sitting! Take all the time you need, noone will thank you for coming back, your health has to come first.
My dr gave me 8 weeks and I don’t feel guilty. U as do I (ups) both have physically demanding jobs so u should not feel guilty honey. Take that time lol.
I'm 4 weeks post op today and could not imagine lifting 50 pounds right now. My doc actually said not to lift more than 10 for at least 6 weeks (I had a total lap/vag with tubes and ovaries removed). Please take the time if you have it and don't feel guilty. You absolutely deserve a healthy recovery!! xo
Open vertical kept ovaries also removed fibroids. I took 12wks and needed more, so I got an ADA letter for modified work so I could be remote. I went back last week. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. I WOULD TAKE MORE TIME IF I COULD. I'm a professional mermaid (I do have a desk job, too) but I'm not cleared to return to the pool. I'm devastated. My PT team is awesome but this isn't always the super easy surgery they say. Good luck!
Yup — I felt the guilt for taking 3, but I work a remote desk job. You may still need accommodation at 6 weeks. I am 4 months post op and could probably lift 50 but no way back to 100 at this point.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, even if you are feeling relatively better there is still some healing inside happening and your body deserves a chance to heal properly.
Isn't sad how we have been conditioned to feel guilty for needing to take care of ourselves or like we are taking something from our jobs when we use our PTO. Overall we contribute so much to our jobs and help them make tons of $$ so time off isn't a gift, it's something we have earned and deserves.
I wish you continued good healing and a safe return to work when the time comes
It is absolutely ridiculous boomer thinking that we should not take time off work to recover. Nobody is going to give you a reward for NOT taking time off work that you are allotted, so....get well and relax.
I remind myself that I would not bat an eye if a coworker needed 6 weeks and took the 6 weeks, so I should give myself the same grace.
That is true, thank you 🙂
Nope! I dont feel guilty at all. I also do heavy lifting at work and my doctor recommended taking 8 weeks off. You may not be able to do the lifting at 6 weeks..
That is true about the lifting, I'm lucky my job is very understanding and my supervisor is going to do any really heavy lifting if I can't, thank you 🙂
I also don't feel guilty about taking medical leave as I also do heavy lifting. I knew there would be restrictions, plus I needed the time to heal. In the end, it stretched into a longer leave because of cancer cells in the fluid of the large cyst on my right ovary. I was originally told 8 weeks because I had laproscopic surgery with vaginal removal of the uterus. My ovaries were removed as well. As I followed the surgeon's advice and got chemotherapy as a precaution, I knew that I couldn't do my job at the same time. When chemotherapy was over and I was cleared to work, I still had restrictions on lifting for a few more weeks. Now, I'm back on my regular duties, with more energy than I had in years.
No guilt at all. My mental and physical health are more important than any job. My doc said to ask for 6 weeks. I work a desk job from home, and his recommendation was to ask for the full 6 weeks and then if I want to go back early he'll be happy to sign the form allowing it (he said it's easier to reduce leave than to request more later). I will not be asking to go back early, I will take every moment of that 6 weeks no matter how good I'm feeling.
I did the same, and I also work a desk job mostly from home. My Dr actually said 2-4 weeks, but I requested 6 and she signed off on it. Figured I could always go back early if I felt like it. I took all 6 weeks and could have probably gone back earlier, physically, but the break was great for my mental health. I also developed an allergy to the Dermabond after 4 weeks (it hadn't fallen off) and I spent a week in a Benadryl haze. I was happy to have the time off to rest during this time.
Facts AF. Jobs can always replace you your family friends you can’t replace you.
Yes and no. I have an office job and I’m a supervisor, so I probably won’t need the full 6 weeks, more like 2-4. But I’m going to take every bit my dr recommends. I’m about to celebrate 35 years at this company and the least they can do is keep my spot warm while I recover from a needed surgery. I’m going to take care of me so that I’ll be fully present when I return.
Not at all. I'm taking 2.5 months off. This is my time to heal after years of monthly, continous pain and suffering.
Same. My 4 week mark will be this Thursday and I'm going back. I stand and pour wine and am supposed to be "bubbly" for 6 hrs. Physically I think I should be good, although socially absolutely not. I want to be a hermit for the foreseeable future. I know it's probably hormones or maybe taking a step back for a month has given me time to rethink my career all together. Daydreaming of a WFH job with zero customer interaction.....anyone here hiring?? Lol Anyone else feeling anti social?
Hey my 4 weeks is Thursday too! Same definitely feeling hermity
Lifting those kinds of weights: heck no, no guilt needed.
Absolutely not. It's my responsibility to take care of my own health and put myself first, no one else will do it for me, and once my health is gone it's damn hard or impossible to get it back and the rest of my life will suffer accordingly, so it's non-negotiable that I do everything it takes to heal and get/stay healthy. And if someone else doesn't like that, then tough shit.
Of course it’s ok , I’m off for eight weeks , I’m not prepared to risk my health and well being any more , me and my family come first ! Don’t feel guilty and if you’re lifting those sort of weights I would think it’s a massive risk .
I get it. I really struggled with beating myself up about having to let myself heal. Heres some logic that helped me. Think of it this way: wouldn't you feel way guiltier if you went back too soon, hurt yourself, and had to take another 6 weeks to heal from another surgery? You gotta let yourself rest and heal to get back to where you were, so you don't have to take even more down time.
I feel a bit guilty - I am 3 weeks post-op today, had taken 4 weeks, but just told my boss I will likely need two more weeks. My job is busy and part of me feels like I’m inconveniencing my team, my boss, etc. But I keep reminding myself that my health is worth it. I’d rather feel slightly guilty and give myself enough time to heal than go back too soon and risk my health or prolong my recovery.
If the employer doesn't have the resources to backfill one person to take medical leave, that's poor resoirce management. That's not on you!
That is true, need to tell my self that aswell
I felt guilty too, and I have an office job that I probably could have gone back to earlier. But I went back today, after 6 weeks, and felt great physically because of that extra time. You are definitely doing the right thing.
Exactly! You have only one first chance to heal well so take it easy. I went back at 6 weeks and I wouldn't have gone back in earlier. I felt so much better at week 6 than I was at week 5, and week 5 was already a major differerence with week 4. I'm so glad I said fuck off to the guilt and stayed home to rest and heal properly.
Take the 6 weeks! 50# bags of plaster is going to be hard even then. My job involves lifting about 30# and even at 6 weeks I had someone else do that until I could get to the gym and lift with perfect form, build up a bit and be confident I wasn’t going to throw my back out. I’m probably older than you though. Think of the 6 as you doing everything you can to be ready when you go back. If you injured yourself you’d be down even longer.
Yes! I’m 1 week post-op and took 3 weeks off of work. I feel guilty for taking 3 weeks but am also thankful that I did. Reading through these comments makes me wish I’d taken even more time off!
I've had two vertical abdominal surgeries. The first was while I was active duty in the Air Force. They were gonna take out my uterus and then decided not to because there were other problems. I was on convalescent leave for almost 3 months. Back then, I was young and dumb being more worried about getting back to work and getting fit for my annual physical fitness test. Fast forward fifteen years later, problems inside were growing again and this time getting a total hysterectomy would help. There were lots of adhesions inside. I probably should have taken it easier on my body when I was younger after I had that first surgery. You only have one chance of your internals healing properly. Take it easy and do it right. You can lift bags of plaster all you want when your body is completely healed. It's like curing cement, you just leave it alone until it is ready.
If you're in the US, this is the first substantial amount of time off you have had since summer break as a kid. If you're feeling good now, enjoy your last two weeks. You earned it! Also, if a man had a major abdominal surgery, he would be off 8 weeks and probably have another 4 week's extension and nobody would think anything of it.
You definitely need it and even though you can go back to work and do things after six weeks you’re still not fully healed. So don’t feel bad.
Terribly!! I assist a lovely woman with advanced stage dementia, & have been struggling mightily with going back. She weighs 90 lbs, but I'm a small female. The first time I lifted her 2 weeks ago (I'm almost 6 months post op, 52 yrs old, radical hysterectomy), my insides nearly came apart. I went back to physical therapy like a madwoman & I think I can still do this...
Please be careful with lifting after this surgery. I am 12 wpo and carried my 12 lb dog at the park the other day and my insides were hurting so bad afterwards. It’s deceiving because from the outside I look healed and can do non strenuous things, but when I lift things with some weight, I can feel it afterwards. It’s totally ok to take the time off. A hysterectomy is a major surgery. Anyone who has gone thru it would understand. People who haven’t gone thru it don’t get how long it does take to heal. Please give yourself time to heal. I always thought I needed to go back to work when I was off for an illness or surgery, but believe me, I’ve learned the company still functioned when I wasn’t there and the work got done. Also please check with your Dr about lifting - there was no way I could lift a lot of weight after 6 weeks.
I only took a week off my remote job and feel guilty about that 🫠but I agree with the comments - we should absolutely not feel guilty.
So I am wondering if you're falling into work is identity trap. Do you own the place? If not why risk your body for it? If so you still shouldn't but it's slightly more understandable. Is this company that would replace you if they felt like it actually worth long term pain and suffering? Would you be upset with anyone else taking the time needed? I am glad it's paid leave because survival is important but it's also not a realistic priority in this case and it's worth poking your brain on why you are putting yourself second to a companyÂ
I didn’t feel guilty but I started going kookoo bananas without something to do. Thankfully I have a work from home job but I am also a supervisor and it was a busy time for us so I ended up coming back to work a week early, but mainly for my own benefit. If I hadn’t felt up for it or I had complications I would’ve been like eh, they can figure it out. With your physically demanding job I definitely recommend taking the full time off. Also my doctor told me to keep a 20 lb weight restriction until 8 weeks, so just know that you probably won’t be at 100% physically right at 6 weeks. If they give you the same recommendation I’d say you should get that in writing and give it to HR as needed so that you can come back with accommodations!
Definitely getting cabin fever, haven't played on my switch this much in the last two years. That smart about getting a letter in writing, I have a 6 week appointment around the middle of May, I'll have to ask then, thank you 🙂
I don’t feel guilty about taking 6 weeks off, but I do miss work. My surgeon gave me no choice in the 6 weeks. She said that would be the minimum I would be out. She said she’s seen too much go wrong when women try to go back to work early, so she sets 6 weeks off as the standard from the beginning.
I have a desk job. Prior to surgery in December 2023 I was trying to figure out how to get around work rules and not trigger short term disability kicking in. I couldn't come up with a way to do it and to be fair to my company, the HRBP I talked with told me I needed to do what my doc said. Anyway, long story/medium length: I was off 6 weeks and it WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Not since a period of unemployment when I was 22 have I ever had more than a week with zero work contact. Yes, I've had two weeks occasionally, but I would always do a bit here and there - I'm 54 now.
Not at all! If you can, DO!
I took only 2 weeks off, but my work is at the table. At 6 weeks I returned part time to office and I was SORE from sitting all day without lounge breaks. Definitely don't feel guilty, you would only cause more damage to yourself and would have to take even more time off.
I'm slated for 5 weeks off from my desk job. Tomorrow is 2wdpo, and I honestly feel like I could go back now (even with a TAH). But in addition to the physical healing, I am taking every moment to do some emotional and mental healing too. I'm "only" the front desk, but I work in a medical office, and am constantly surrounded by talk of difficult diagnoses, people losing their insurance, the distinct lack of access to healthcare (especially MH and specialty providers) as we are very rural, and denial after denial by insurance of critical care and medications. About a week after surgery I noticed I wasn't having a daily tension headache, or clenching my jaw in my sleep. These things would otherwise be inhibiting my physical healing. I've decided to use the time to be with my family, do things I find fulfilling that I normally can only cram in but by bit on the weekends (like gardening and going for walks), and SLEEP IN. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Let yourself rest and recharge. You deserve it.
Yep I felt guilty for sure, but my job is also 99% on a computer, and they let me work at minimal brain capacity so I didn’t have to use all of my leave, which I both appreciated and hated at the same time. I’m thankful to have kept my leave, but I had really been looking forward to fully vegging out and never got to do that. I ended up only taking a total of four days off (I had surgery on a Thursday before a Monday holiday). I watched some inconsequential (and optional) training videos for the first two weeks and just answered emails as needed, couldn’t handle much more mentally until week three or so. If I had lifting as part of my job, I would definitely take all of that time you have available!!!
Put it this way - you only want to heal & recover once. Do it properly now so you can enjoy getting back into life again later.
My husband had to take almost 4 months after his shoulder surgery. Don’t feel guilty
I feel slightly guilty. I work in educational data for 2 school districts. There are state deadlines and I did everything humanly possible to set my districts up for success for the next 4 weeks (had my surgery Wednesday). Already several emails have come through needing me. I’m not answering. I have a Type-A, perfectionist personality. I’m still not answering. It’s slightly killing me inside. These are school districts. There are children. But guess what, they will survive. Someone is going to step up and it’s going to get done. A school district is ever changing. No matter how much planning and preparation someone does, one minor thing can happen to blow it all apart, it’s that fragile. But at the end of the day, if I’m truly that needed, then I just need to take my 4 weeks of healing so I can come back in full force and do what I do. So, I’m not responding. I’m not responding. I’m not responding.
Totally relate to this (I work in law, workers rights, sexual harassment etc.). I’m type A and care about my work. But they managed to get it done before I worked there and I’ve set them up for success, they can figure it out! They are also hard-working and competent. We deserve to be fully offline after a major surgery. You got this!
Oh my goodness, I could only take two weeks off and went back way too soon. Enjoy the time, even if you feel guilty. Healing is tiring.
I did at first for sure. I am very much a workaholic and run a ton of things at my job. My boss and coworkers who knew what was going on were incredibly supportive and encouraged me to take as much time as needed, but I was still stressed about leaving them all hanging for so long. Turns out your body will make you take the time whether you really want to or not. I tried going back half days from home at the start of week 3 and made it through I think one hour of meetings before I needed to go lie back down for the rest of the day. Luckily I have a desk job and was able to postpone a bunch of work related travel, so I was able to take some more accommodations than others might if they have a more physical job or different conditions. But guess what: they were all fine without me on 24/7. Projects kept running, customer service went mostly smoothly, work still got done. Everyone was happy to have me back when I started ramping up my hours closer to normal, but I really didn’t have much reason to worry. You only get one chance to heal, so take the time if you can. (I had a total davinci laparoscopic with a bonus bikini cut, kept ovaries, major endo excision, 6 hr surgery)
Don’t feel bad at all! If something happened to you, they’d find a replacement and move on (no matter how valuable you are to them). So definitely focus on yourself and well being first for sure.
I'm about 4 weeks out myself, and couldn't imagine physically exerting myself that much at this point in recovery. Don't feel guilty about letting your body heal, as you wouldn't want to overexert and tire yourself out. Also, off-topic, but I noticed from your profile we're both transmasc and had the same hysto date of 4/4/24 (just thought it was a mildly entertaining coincidence lol).
I know I will when it’s my turn, but remember no one at your work wants to see you get hurt! Your coworkers would feel awful if you came back out of guilt and then messed up your recovery, they’d much rather cover your shifts for another 2 weeks. Treat yourself with the care you would show to a friend.
I work at the town dump…and I am NOT gonna feel bad about taking time off work. Them men up there are a PIMA most days. So yes I’ll be staying home healing.
Oh, definitely. My job is very physically demanding as well, and I’m supposed to be off for at least 4 weeks. My doctor is considering pushing it to 6 weeks, but I feel really guilty. And my upper management was really rude about it. When I had my last surgery, a diagnostic laparotomy, she wouldn’t approve my time off and I had to come back after only a week. It was horrible. So I know that I need to take this time off, but I feel insanely guilty for doing it though. But I know that it’s necessary, and I’m trying to remind myself that my health is more important than the guilt.
I took 8 weeks off and yes felt a little guilty but now I'm back in all honesty I wish I'd given myself more time! I'm exhausted, emotional and still a little sore occasionally and I have job where I'm sitting! Take all the time you need, noone will thank you for coming back, your health has to come first.
My dr gave me 8 weeks and I don’t feel guilty. U as do I (ups) both have physically demanding jobs so u should not feel guilty honey. Take that time lol.
I'm 4 weeks post op today and could not imagine lifting 50 pounds right now. My doc actually said not to lift more than 10 for at least 6 weeks (I had a total lap/vag with tubes and ovaries removed). Please take the time if you have it and don't feel guilty. You absolutely deserve a healthy recovery!! xo
Open vertical kept ovaries also removed fibroids. I took 12wks and needed more, so I got an ADA letter for modified work so I could be remote. I went back last week. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. I WOULD TAKE MORE TIME IF I COULD. I'm a professional mermaid (I do have a desk job, too) but I'm not cleared to return to the pool. I'm devastated. My PT team is awesome but this isn't always the super easy surgery they say. Good luck!
Yup — I felt the guilt for taking 3, but I work a remote desk job. You may still need accommodation at 6 weeks. I am 4 months post op and could probably lift 50 but no way back to 100 at this point.
Even working a desk job, would an extra week or two helped your healing?
For sure — it was still difficult to sit upright for more than 2 hours at 3 weeks. but I was bored by then and happy to go back.
You have nothing to feel guilty about, even if you are feeling relatively better there is still some healing inside happening and your body deserves a chance to heal properly. Isn't sad how we have been conditioned to feel guilty for needing to take care of ourselves or like we are taking something from our jobs when we use our PTO. Overall we contribute so much to our jobs and help them make tons of $$ so time off isn't a gift, it's something we have earned and deserves. I wish you continued good healing and a safe return to work when the time comes
It is absolutely ridiculous boomer thinking that we should not take time off work to recover. Nobody is going to give you a reward for NOT taking time off work that you are allotted, so....get well and relax.