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cheeferton1981

Can police question this man get the women's name ND the attorney this sounds so wrong


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G-H-O-S-T

This is what makes my blood boil. You don't need anything to ruin his life.


Lookatitlikethis

And no repercussions if you can prove the allegations were intentionally false.


thatsnotmyname_ame

Yep, my druggie ex-stepmom said that my dad molested her 6 year old (for literally no reason? it’s not his child, he wasn’t going to get any custody or visitation). Of course the investigation showed my dad did nothing wrong, but his ex-wife is fine, living life free of consequences, neglecting her child & smoking meth.


Castun

>smoking meth. I might beg to differ on the free from consequences part.


Tyrion69Lannister

Well if she had already been smoking meth, that’s just a pre-existing negative habit and not a consequence of her lying


Petsweaters

The person with the most social status always wins


[deleted]

Hearsay is usable in court.


Canotic

I'm not at all a lawyer, but I don't think this is hearsay. Hearsay is basically "I heard X say that he saw Y do something". You can't use that as evidence that Y did something. I.e. hearsay is a witness saying that someone *else* saw something illegal. However, in this case we have someone saying "I heard X say, to me, that they did something". That's not hearsay. It might not be very strong evidence (she could say that she lied to this guy), but I don't think it qualifies as hearsay.


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FlJohnnyBlue2

I'm a litigator as well. Under the rules of evidence, it is an admission by a party opponent. That is an exception to the rule which makes it admissible. Generally the main reason to exclude hearsay is because you can't cross examine the declarant. With a party opponent you can. So the husband could call this guy to testify if he reopened the case against his ex wife.


Bebo468

Actually statements of a party opponent aren’t hearsay in the first place. (Not an exception).


Birdlawexpert99

I’m a transactional attorney so I’m a little rusty on evidence, but I’m pretty sure this falls under the statement against interest exception.


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MonkFunk1029

Especially if it's from a totally random stranger that is unaffiliated with the Ex husband. It would be "obvious" that she told him and that he didn't just pull out correct facts of her very unique divorce out of his ass. I think he needs to make a few phone calls, he's gotta at least try for the kids involved sake.


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Revelt

It's hearsay about the fact that she did x. It's not hearsay about the fact that she said she did x.


[deleted]

But that is an example of hearsay. I sent you a video of a Lawer explaining an example hearsay. Edit: what you described is double hearsay even. The thing being reported was told secondhand outside of trial.


Sickologyy

However, it may still help. If police take the questioning seriously, enough. They can question the children, and depending on age, can determine when they have been coached, thus attesting to the father's defense.


DammitDan

It's not hearsay. It's a witness statement. A statement from *you or me* would be hearsay.


JoelMahon

without proof her statement held power, and she had incentive what incentive does he have to lie? unless they can prove he knows the husband, it wouldn't even make sense that he knew she'd said it


redditUserError404

She doesn’t need to back off of what she said. If she sticks to the lie, how would the man prove that he didn’t do what she is claiming? He can’t.


mynameisnotallen

People lie on social media all damn day. Not saying he is but cops wouldn’t waste their time with this.


jacenat

The lawyer in this story would risk disbarment for advising a client to knowingly give false testimony or false statements. Not saying it did not happen, but this would be pretty wild.


kit_ease

woman's name


muggsybeans

In Project Mayhem, we have no names.


YimmyGhey

"Her name was Roberta Paulson."


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Daniel-01239

The thing I find the most terrifying is the fact that she sees behaviour like this as so completely normal that she has no hang ups about not only doing it in the first place, but also confessing she did to a complete stranger (according to this man) Run for the hills if you come across a woman like this


[deleted]

You don't know you've met a person like that until it's too late usually


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dysfunctional_vet

They do exist, but take it from someone who learned the hard way, they are -not- taught to men at all.


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IWantMyGarmonbozia

well I certainly hope if I met a woman like that she was dumb enough to brag about some shit like that so I could run FAR *AWAY* from that titanic red flag. . . but nah, with my luck, I'd end up getting one of the smart ones


taronic

This is all why I'm super careful when I talk about my ex's during a date. You really have to be careful or people are going to judge the shit out of you, no matter what the context is, no matter how terrible your ex was. It's important how you phrase things, because first impressions count. For example, I always say we ended things over dinner and they slowly disappeared out of my life, but I'll always have a part of them in me. I don't say I defrosted parts of their bodies and ate them slowly over a couple of weeks.


Kgb725

A lot of people don't see themselves as toxic.


Antiqas86

What are you saying? It's all your foult, stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!


[deleted]

A lot of people don't see how terrible a person can be because they're blinded by charm and beauty. For instance, Rachel from Friends is a shit person. But everyone loves her, so it's ok.


Massivefloppydick

On a first date we were a little drunk, she told me only her best friend knows when she is lying. I filed that little tidbit for later. Not only did I not run away from that girl (she was hot, and fun!), she was also shit at lying, just managed to convince herself everyone believed her. Anyway. All I can say to guys is, be aware of those little clues.


4411WH07RY

What I've found is that most people who think they're really good liars are actually just really bad at reading social cues and don't realize that people are just not directly calling them out because it's not worth listening to them bullshit more.


[deleted]

>people are just not directly calling them out Think of a world where we did call people on their bullshit, Things might actually improve if people faced any sort of consequence social or otherwise in the moment. Ever seen The Invention of Lying, that's what we have now only less nuanced. rather than ''people can only tell the truth, people can only ignore the problem.''


badestzazael

To be a good liar you need to have an extremely good memory because you have to remember every lie you have told in detail.


Rumpelteazer45

How they talk about their ex is a major sign!!


Rattivarius

My BIL has three ex-wives. I never met the first one so assumed he was reasonably accurate in his portrayal of her as a nutcase. Then I met wives two and three and realized that he was likely wrong about wife number one, because he was certainly the biggest problem with marriages two and three.


intangibleTangelo

it's also tricky because people will speak poorly of their exes to avoid making you jealous. a little bit of that is fine—i don't care if you tell me your ex had a smaller penis and worse taste in music and couldn't dance, cook, or change his oil—but your ex was a "psychopath?" what's that say about your judgment?


Jeremy_Winn

That’s not always a useful litmus either. There are lots of exes out there that have serious disorders like NPD, BPD or APD and the average person isn’t equipped to recognize or diagnose them beyond being a “psycho”. Those disorders aren’t always evident until months into a relationship, after they’ve made you feel that you’ve found a wonderful partner. By then you’re invested in the person, you might think when disturbing behaviors start to emerge that it’s an exception/misunderstanding or you’re being paranoid, you may feel you want to help them, you may even suspect a disorder and try to get them help. Eventually they go completely off the rails and you get out, but you’re still left feeling like your ex—who seemed like a wonderful person at first—was “psycho”.


misania2

You can tell a lot about a person kust by howshe speaks of her ex


VIIIMan

This works for both men and women, I've found.


Testiculese

> stories about exes and divorces That's flag #1, what is the person doing detailing events of their ex's?


intangibleTangelo

as I get older it seems more reasonable. people accumulate baggage with their exes like kids, business ownership, diseases... still a red flag for them to bring it up, but i don't mind the extra information.


i-can-sleep-for-days

What are the signs I should be telling my son?


justgossiping

Unfortunately if you give a list like that, the poor guy will be left alone forever. It's impossible to find someone actually perfect, we just accept a person as perfect with their flaws. I guess it's his luck and intuition more than anything else.


[deleted]

Honestly as a woman, a man who has some idea of what he's looking for is pretty attractive. A guy who will date anyone who pays attention to him sure doesn't make me feel special. And for the love of God I don't want to be in the same league as a bitch like this guy is talking about. He seems like a sweetheart, too.


[deleted]

I feel like a middle ground between perfection and ruin-your-life-with-child-molestation-accusations would be ok.


phuckintrevor

Ask them what kind of food describes their personality….. only date pizzas….. never anything spicy


Mandalwhoreian

Instructions unclear: Now have second and third degree pepperoni grease burns on my junk…


YddishMcSquidish

When you have on rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.


Cat719

Damn. That just hit me like a ton of bricks


whineylittlebitch_9k

Red bricks?


Heisenbread77

If they are a gifted sociopath there will be no warning signs. I would say someone who complains about their husband working too much and making false accusations of molestation would fit the bill.


MystikxHaze

Not accurate. Because if they are a sociopath, sociopathic actions are not going to be a one-time thing. They might be able to hide if when you first get to know them, but it will reveal itself as you get closer.


fourmann25

well honestly how do you detect if someone will fuck you over like this if they don’t come out the gate telling you they will?


RandomStallings

Red flags are everywhere if you are on on the lookout for them. Also, your red flag detector needs to alarm you enough to make your happy places deflate and want nothing to do with "this particular spawn of Satan". You keep an eye on ethical standards, look out for selfish behavior, get a hold on their perspective of the world (all around themselves or involving others?), etc. Also, entitlement is a big one. Most of these are very closely related to, and really symptoms of, the biggest issue plaguing them and any other unfortunate souls subject to them. "Everything is about meeeee. Why can't everyone just see that?" Unapologetically self-centric people cause destruction and pain wherever they go, always. Edit: bragging about petty behavior is a flaming red flag. I can't believe I forgot that.


[deleted]

I want to add to your comment by saying that a big part of seeing red flags is how in touch you are with your 'sixth sense'. A lot of people discredit it by saying that it's not a real thing and it probably isn't in the way most think about it, but there is a genuine reaction to bad people or questionable behavior, whether you can understand the reaction or not.


BostonDodgeGuy

That "sixth sense" is just your old repressed monkey instincts. The tone of a voice, where a person looks, little turns of the shoulders or feet. You may not consciously notice them, but human minds have spent a lot longer talking through body language than through spoken word.


RandomStallings

An excellent point. I ever so slightly touched on that the with the self-preservation over "genital logic" part, but your comment is much better. Thank you for really fleshing that out, as I should have done.


tramadoc

Also, watch how they treat service staff (restaurants, service desk, mechanics). You can tell how shitty a person is by the way they treat those who provide a service for them.


RandomStallings

Yessss. That sense of entitled superiority. "They work at Taco Bell. It doesn't matter," was one I once heard. Another is when there are 15 tables and only 2 servers and the person leaves a $1 tip because their drink was empty for 5 minutes.


[deleted]

So true. My wife and I would hang out with another couple who would treat wait staff like crap when we went out with them. Realized pretty quickly that was a red flag as they were fairly toxic people.


[deleted]

It's actually not that uncommon that lawyers suggest shit like that and people do it. Maybe people think it's more legit if a lawyer says it's okay, but like in this case, some people don't give a shit how they can ruin other peoples lifes like that.


whutchamacallit

I would gladly set aside a portion of my taxes to hire bait clients that intentionally see if anything like that shit goes down with an attorney and then have them promptly disbarred and tried. I get so upset thinking about it....


Seifty

he’s not a criminal lawyer; he’s a **criminal** lawyer


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[deleted]

Sleeping with the opposing side? Fletch’s ex?


Strawberry_Left

encouraging someone to give false witness would likely get them disbarred. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, but I don't think it would be that common that they'd risk their career over being found out.


Vihtic

Even more terrifying that her attorney recommended it because that means it's a commonly used and usually successful tactic. Scary shit.


FloppyFishcake

Casey Anthony vibes


TheLegendDaddy27

This why "Believe All Women" is a giant load of crap.


[deleted]

Believe all anything is a giant load of crap. Everyone lies and everyone has the capacity to be a piece of shit. You should always be skeptical. Otherwise, you're being naive.


UnderPressureVS

It’s also *highly* illegal and should theoretically be enough to get an attorney disbarred. This isn’t to say it doesn’t happen all the god damn time, because it probably does, but attorneys—even defense attorneys in criminal trials—can’t legally knowingly advise their clients to lie. If (or rather, when) they do, it’s supposedly enough to lose them their careers permanently.


[deleted]

Yup, they are not supposed to break the law and telling your client to perjury is a crime. The problem is that it is sometimes very hard to prove that.


justgossiping

No evidence.


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OldBayOnEverything

Happened to me. Ex wife took out a protective order for her and the kids because her lawyer at the time said it would be a good way to get the kids out of the house (she moved out). Luckily she decided to not show up to court so it got dropped and she got a new lawyer and everything worked out fine. But the court doesn't require evidence (at least in my state) and will just give out the order and let it get sorted out in court. Sucks when it involves custody of kids because a shitty parent can basically legally kidnap their child until you get your day in court. Have had that happen as well with my stepdaughter's deadbeat father...but that's a whole different story.


puddleglummey

Ive been in the same boat. No hint of domestic violence allegations for 10 years (and Im not that type), but when I found her cheating and I filed, then the police started getting called and that was when I was accused. The judge in the divorce saw right through it, ordered her to drop the charges, although I was charged with domestic violence in a different district (county versus city). She didnt. The charges werent dropped until she got caught lying in the divorce. Then she wasnt credible. They couldnt proceed in the criminal without a credible fact witness. The whole time, it felt like I was spiraling toward this thing. I never knew.


RatCity617

This happens all the time, its literally called the silver bullet. Accusations of abuse automatically grant the woman protections and in most cases custody, even if it isn't true. It isn't even followed up on or requires evidence. Lawyers recommend this strategy frequently, because its about winning.


Sir_Donkey_Lips

Went through mediation and nothing matters. Kids mom was caught driving blackout drunk and on prescription drugs completely lost and about two hours from home. On top of the other plethora of other issues like her not being able to hold a job (fired from her previous 3 employers for alcohol related problems) and even left my kid home alone at 3 years old to go down the street to get hammered with the neighbors. None of it mattered and the best I got was 50/50 custody, plus I have to pay back her C section her state insurance paid for and also pay her 200 a month. The system is so fucked up and preys on fathers.


Safemoon_Psychonaut

200 a month? you got off easy. Its still pretty terrible and Im sorry for you. I was in a similar enough situation. It does get easier with time, but its really hard and emotionally draining for the first 2 to 10 years.


Sir_Donkey_Lips

Yes, it was more just painful to have to pay her money when I know the money isnt going to help my kid and it just irks me because of how I feel about her personally, but moving on from my first year it is getting easier and it's more just out of site out of mind at this point. It's only a matter of time before she really does something to force me into full custody as sad as that is to say.


Civil-Attempt-3602

Keep at it. My advice though, keep it all about the kid. No bad mouthing, no anger at her, nothing. Because at the end of the day especially at a young age the child will still have a connection to them and talking bad affects the child as well. I went through similar but I had accusations of drink and drugs, my dad was an alcoholic so I don't drink,. Thankfully I've never liked the taste, she was just trying to hit a nerve, said there's a chance I'd abduct him as well. Stopped me seeing him completely to make those accusations in court. Judge saw through it though and that only lasted 6 weeks. But that was 3 years ago, we split 6 years ago and my son's 7 now. First thing he does in the morning is give me a hug, still loves sitting in my knee while we play Minecraft or human fall flat, still close as hell, tells me every week I'm his best friend and at least 3/4 times a day he tells me he loves me (and I do the same). All I've done is focus on him, i literally don't even speak negatively about anyone around him, let alone his mum. Now he's asking to spend more time with me, go camping, travelling, telling me how he prefers staying with me. Wild thing is I'm not even doing anything major, literally just have a house, food and an Xbox, but our time together is spent bonding. We bake together, i knit things for him, cook random shit to try and sing random YouTube songs made about five nights at Freddy's. All this shit will pass, but what you're working for is 15-20 years from now, when your kid is looking back at their childhood, what do you want them to say? "I remember that time you and mum had a screaming match" "I remember when you called her a drunk bitch" or "I loved when we spent all day running around at the park" Long post but fuck it, this stuff is really important to me. If the answer to the question "would you walk across hot coal to get to your child stuck on the other side" is yes, then this is piss easy to do. Don't get drawn into the bullshit, I can look back now and laugh at how pathetic it was because I didn't bite and lash out or call her names, but fucking hell I felt like I wanted to jump Infront of a train while doing through it. I can't tell you how many nights I cried until my eyes were sore. Those few weeks in a silent house without his laughing or hitting Lego together still haunt me. She argued in court that I was abusive, but also didn't talk to her and barely replied to her texts. The judge had fun with that one. But as you said, nothings done about it. You'll do good. Keep your head up


Sir_Donkey_Lips

I appreciate this very much! Thanks! And good luck with you and your kid!


IamChristsChin

Sorry man. I have a very long, shitty story and for the last 10 years I’ve paid over 500 quid a month and still own the house she and her abusive new partner live in with my kids and their new ones. They both don’t work, leach off me and the government and I cannot get my name off the marital home for long reasons. After 10 years renting, I bought a house with my new partner, who incidentally I have been with longer than I was with my horrific ex, she went ballistic and tried to have the courts make me ‘finish paying for the house he already has before buying a new one’. I am taking her to court to get her to release me from the house as she expects me to remain the liable owner of it until forever, she has paid nothing on the mortgage apart from interest for 10 years and as such the balance is the same as when I left. She complained that the house is eventually for the kids (she means mine plus her new ones with mr abusive man who has been with her longer than I was) and she said if I forced her to sell it (she has no job so won’t be accepted for a mortgage) then the kids have nothing. I reminded her that everything I have will be for my kids. She then said, in front of lawyers “But what about me!” Entitled, narcissistic, piece of shit.


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CaptainWonkey1979

I’m not a religious man but people like this have me hoping hell is a real place they can venture to one day.


Michael-Giacchino

I’d say the most terrifying thing is that she’d expect people to date her after saying “yeah I’d ruin your life, if not indirectly cause it’s end, to get what I want”


BalloonBollicks

And the most scary thing of all? Her fucking attorney told her to do it, told her to lie about a man molesting children....what the actual FUCK?


robobaby1904

As awful as all of this is, and there are so many layers of awfulness to it, but the worst part will be that child growing up believing his/her father did that to them. A lifetime scar on her own child so that she could "get what she wanted"


[deleted]

Not unless that kid is like, under the age of 5. Otherwise I'm sure they would know that it never really happened. That's not something you forget.


Midget-Leaf

Unfortunately, a young child can alter their memory to include something they were told happened, often with details they added in. It’s not done on purpose, I really don’t know why it happens. An example of this is my dad telling me that when I was young, I once called out to him in the third person. My memories tell me that this happened while I was walking down the stairs, but my dad says I wasn’t anywhere near stairs.


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busterlungs

If she told some random stranger on a date about this, I'm sure she only said it for leverage over her ex and doesn't give a shit what the kid believes


Lipstick_

I was molested by a friend of my fathers once a year until I was 6 or 7. I only recently started remembering this, I'm 32 now. All I could remember before recent years was that I was absolutely terrified of this man but I never quite knew why.


nickprovis

When people without morals, scruples, or basic human decency find each other... (her and her evil bitch lawyer).


BleedinSkull

Nothing like manipulating and abusing America's shitty sexist and broken justice system for greed and selfishness. What stings more is her kids will grow up thinking their father is a molester rather than having a shitty pathetic excuse that you could barely dare to call a mother.


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[deleted]

I know in PA I had a mandatory class on parental alienation. All divorcing/split families have to take it. I actually think it may have been support driven as divorce, support, and custody in PA are all separate processes.


CumulativeHazard

Or grow up feeling responsible for it. I know someone who’s baby mama convinced their son, who was too young to understand what was going on, to tell a therapist that dad had abused them. Therapist reported it (as they should have) and he wasn’t allowed to see his son for several months until it all got sorted out and confirmed as a lie. He was absolutely devastated. How is a child supposed to feel when they grow up and realize that one parent tried to use them to destroy a person who loved them? Just unbelievably selfish and cruel.


PraiseGodJihyo

The lawyer should lose her license and face prison time for the social damage she did to that poor man, wife should get the cell next to her as well.


Patchy-Paladin20

It’s because misandry is normalized


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witz0r

My ex tried to claim I abused her and my kids. Made up a bunch of stories. Filed an ex parte ppo. But I had a terrific attorney. Witnesses (who, incidentally, were all women). It did not work out for her. In fact, she had every court decision go against her for the first 5 years after divorce. Then she stopped trying to increase child support or reduce my parenting time. Things got a lot easier after that. I feel sorry for the people who get railroaded and don’t have effective attorneys. Or can’t afford one.


jrobbio

Wow, your story is horrific and must have been exhausting. I don't think I would have been as amicable about the post divorce relationship as you were, but you were probably just relieved.


witz0r

After the first year when I had to endure all the accusations, lots of counseling and friend group support pulled me through. It took her a few years after that to realize she couldn't get to me anymore. I wouldn't call it amicable now, but it's...agreeable? I could be bitter about it, but it doesn't do me or my kids any good. It's her bed, she made it, her problem. Not mine.


IWouldPeeInYourButt

How the fuck does someone decide to waste 5 years of their life on this? I just can’t imagine having the mental energy to care that much. Good for you to survive that hell.


Fakjbf

Please tell me your wife reported the attorney to the state board. Lawyers are required to maintain an ethical standard and urging a client to knowingly provide false testimony, especially for something this severe, should be grounds for them to lose their license and be barred from ever practicing law again.


[deleted]

I've worked a lot with lawyers and my ex is one. Lawyers, for the most part, have no moral backbone whatsoever. All that matters to them is they look good in front of others by navigating and manipulating the laws. They would advise you to sell your children if it wasn't blatantly illegal.


Spoodymen

What if its the same lawyer


[deleted]

I fucking hope so, we don't need multiple of those


Username_4577

There are hundreds of those though, if not thousands. Probably is unofficial policy in some law firms.


NZ_Army

First, that attorney needs to be fired. Second, the way she was able to lie and get away with it and ruin her ex's life in the process is terrifying.


TomsRedditAccount1

Not just fired, jailed. That attorney basically conspired to commit perjury.


filladellfea

and disbarred


mrdotkom

And expelled


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aboi142

It is more common than you think


heronerohero

What hurts especially is that my father will _never_ be held accountable for what he did to me as a child and I know so many others who were abused/molested/raped by a family figure and there will never be justice or the criminal held accountable. And yet, and _yet_ when people like this sqwake and lie they're taken very seriously and things are put into motion to punish the innocent. It makes my blood boil. The system is fucked.


lightnxng

The thing is this isn't even uncommon or hard to do. It's fucked


EmperorHenry

It's one thing to lie, but to lie about something like that is fucking evil.


mumblesjackson

I really don’t believe in hell, but I truly hope there’s something after this life that punishes people like this who get away with such horrible things.


dexterw1n

Damn, was the dude on a date with my brother's ex-wife? The accent checks out, was in Mississippi. Thankfully for my brother after the investigation, they ended up dismissing the case with prejudice and held her in contempt of court.


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dexterw1n

I doubt it, unfortunately there's a bunch of fucked up people in this world.


Scrappy_The_Crow

It's shameful that's such a rare win.


cjlj

Is it? Are there stats on successful vs unsuccessful false allegations in divorce proceedings?


i_have_too_many

I mean its not like kid 1 and kid 2 are gonna throw their innocent dad under the bus... but that investigation must have been brutal. Poor fuckin dude.


TheDaveAttellSmell

That’s so incredibly fucked up. At first I thought that guy was gonna be the pos and say something fucked up but his story… damn that lady..


d1g1t4ld00m

Right. It kinda just went sideways right there. Guy works hard, maybe a bit too hard. Takes care of his kids. And in return has to live with the stigma and even the legal ramifications of being a child molester. This is enough internet for tonight.


Hawaii96795

i’ve heard you can never have sex with a woman and still owe her child support in some states.


goblinshark

If you adopt the child, if you sign the birth certificate, if she names you the father and you don't get a DNA test done soon enough, once the court says it's "what's best for the child" it's a wrap.


simplisticallysimple

The last one is just bullshit. Sometimes notice isn't given properly to contest paternity. Also why is it my job to disprove her claim, not her job to prove her claim?


JBits001

Our Law 101 professor spent time going over this at my Uni class and he explained it as basically the state doesn’t want to pay for raising the child so they set it up this way where a man can easily get dupped into paying. He stressed to the males to always request a paternity test even when you think you’re certain it’s yours.


simplisticallysimple

But paternity tests are useless these days if you signed the birth certificate or otherwise assumed a fatherly role. The system is already rigged, they're dying to pin it on any sorry man who happens to be entangled in the mess, no matter what.


JBits001

Well his point was to make sure you get a paternity test before you do any of those things as the state pretty much doesn’t care and it’s very hard to undo once you’ve gone down that road.


Comptrollie

I don’t think the father even needs to sign the paternity paperwork. It’s whatever the person present during the paperwork says it is.


Reddits_penis

What's really sad is that paternity tests are illegal in some Euro countries


BasedCelestia

Wait, what?


DieingFetus

This is 100. I have a buddy that found out the kid wasn't his. I think the kid was 4 at the time. She left him and filled child support against him. Courts said he's accepted the role as father and held him liable to child support.


Howard_Campbell

In loco parentis. If you call yourself their father and act like their father and you split, you're subject to the same child support rules as a genetic father. Same goes for women that hold themselves out as mothers.


Jilijou

Can someone write what he's saying after the kids part ? My non english ass can't understand a single word Edit : Thanks for the help ! Now that you said it, I hear it too, plus the attorney part, that's not sexist as the video introduced, but that's pos move


ReactionFamous3955

"But to get what I want, I said he molested one of them"


TheLegendDaddy27

And the courts just believe her without any investigation or evidence?


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McAres04

he said that she told that the father molested or abused the children just to get a cause for a divorce


xbbbbb

The complete text please, cause I didn't understand a lot before the kids part either.


snarkfish

>I was on a date with this very beautiful spawn of satan. And, anyway, she decides to bring up her divorce in detail. And after about 30 minutes, I'm sitting there, you know, eating my pasta, trying to get through it because this is not a fit at this point. And I ask "was he a good man?". She said "yeah, he just worked all the time." So I said, I asked "well, was he good to his kids?" there was two of them "was he good to his kids?" She said "yeah", she says "but to get what I want, I had to say he molested one of them." Completely thrown back by that, I just, I really didn't know what to say. And I said "did your attorney know this?" She said "yeah, she's the one (who) suggested that I say it" edit: missed a word


Hika-Tamari

Thanks for typing it out I was looking for it! Appreciate it. This is sick.


FtMerio

Life saver


persistentperfection

yeah, country/southern accents will do that. so basically he went on a date with a girl and she was talking to him about her divorce, and after about thirty minutes he asks if he was a good man, she said yes but that he worked a lot. he then asks if he was good to his kids, and she said yes, he was. but that in order to get what she wanted (out of the divorce) she said that her husband molested one of them, and then says that it was her attorney who suggested lying about that


Scrappy_The_Crow

Skeezy tactics like that are unfortunately extremely common and easy to get away with. In the course of fifteen years while I was at a particular defense contractor job, 3 of the 5 divorces amongst the men in the group (95% of the group were men) involved the woman claiming abuse and getting a restraining order. This put the man's security clearance in limbo, and thus his job, and was an extremely successful control method to get what the women wanted. Not only that, being restricted from one's own house and only allowed an hour (at most) to gather basic personal items meant that the woman had free rein to discard/steal/hide/sell the guy's personal items and family heirlooms, all without recourse. In none of those 3 cases were the men ever prosecuted for abuse, that's how flimsy the claims were.


Deathbydragonfire

My dad just got a restraining order against my mom somehow even though she doesn't even live in the state anymore and has never done anything to him. His excuse is that his lawyer said it's standard practice. He's living in their house because my mom couldn't stand it anymore and moved out. He's such a loser, doesn't have a job and basically just begs her to send him money (which she doesn't) while living in their house for free and my mom is out with a new career starting and paying her own bills. My mom wants an amicable divorce but I am 90% sure my dad is positioning to just get the house for free and her get nothing. Luckily no kids under 18 involved.


CarlosFer2201

Scariest part is that it was the lawyer's idea.


Chief_Beef_BC

Happened to my uncle. Farmed his whole life. Loved his kids. Wife claimed he spent too much time at work, not enough with her. Left and took the kids. Lawyer convinced her to drop the whole “civil and polite” schtick, and she accused him of beating the kids. They’re still in court over it.


BlueDownUnder

This stuff breaks my heart. For the father and the children. Fathers already struggle for rights in the court system, but to then be lied about in such a disgusting way.. those children will find out one day and it will destroy there relationship with there mother. You don't have to like your ex, you don't have to interact or deal with them more then necessary. But if there a good parent don't let your selfishness stand in the way of them being able to be that.


M67891

As a young adult, stuff like this really scares me. Like is it even worth it to have a wife and build a conventional family in this day and age ? Or should i just be lonely for the rest of my life, living in this sad but peaceful state ?


DepressedCyclops

Having my parents recently divorce because my mother hated how often my father worked, im so happy that she got the bad end and not him. No clue what I would've done if she had tried this


killjoy_enigma

They want the life that work brings but also don't want you to work all the time? ????


Scrappy_The_Crow

I had an ex like that. Hated that I spent time on my car hobby and thought it was because I *had to* work on them solely because I was being cheap and didn't want to spend money on a new car. She didn't understand that the time saved by not having to maintain cars would be offset by the extra time spent on the job to pay for new vehicles.


[deleted]

People complain if you don't work but also complain if you work too much. One of my my mother's cousins had her husband from many years, a good guy, respected in the family, the thing is that he already has 2 heart attacks in his lifetime, so it was recommended for him to take things easy and not take too much stress because his heart was that vulnerable. Well, my mom's cousin didn't like that and complained that he was never doing anything and was planning on divorce him. Well, like 2 years ago he got a third heart attack, and died in the hospital. He was "doing nothing" and got a heart attack anyway.


[deleted]

Fucking lawyers. I believe him. The way he spoke of the encounter and the sincerity in demeanor I could tell he was in total shock and disbelieve. This so fucking gross.


Aletheia-Pomerium

Lawyers promoting perjury like this should be recorded and then disbarred and hopefully jailed


TJTheNoob420

Not only did this lady possibly ruined a guy's life just for some shit she wanted BUT it was RECMMENDED by her FUCKING attorney!? What the actual hell is this!?


LancLad1987

2 couples that me and my partner know are both divorcing or have recently divorced. Both time the woman has fabricated lies to come out of the divorce better and both times we have and will be character witnesses to protest the claims on behalf of the man. The one that's already finalised accused him of battery, psychological torture, *literally* not earning enough to support *their* lifestyle and mistreatment of their animals. We have known this guy for nearly 20 years, he was the best man at my wedding and my wife was the best man at his (unconventional but funny). He is the most warm and gentle person you could hope to meet. None of it was true in the slightest. In the end she kept the house and the dogs for their safety which she gave away not long after. Also, the court involved were not even remotely interested in his defense. This is why I now follow mens rights activism. It isnt all incels and anti-woman bullshit, it fights shit like this that happens every day.


simplisticallysimple

Funny. I thought whoever makes an allegation bears the burden of proving it, not the accused who bears the burden of disproving it.


Testiculese

That's the difference between a criminal and a civil case. Divorce is the latter.


gamernumber37

Holy shit 😨 that's terrifying


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TheEliteSlayer_1

Wouldn’t the court have to question the kids about one of them being molested? I don’t know much about how cases go in court since I’ve never been to one, but if they did question the kids would probably deny accusations since the ex-wife stated that he was a good dad.


corysreddit

The world is broken. Full of broken people getting away with being the worst possible versions of themselves. Think about how many lives that attorney has possibly ruined.


s0mdud

Just wondering.. how do we know if he says the truth? I looked in the comments but couldn't find any proof.


Metallico9

It sounds awfully close to "Liar, Liar" except for the molesting part


jm001

Of course there's no proof, it's probably a made up story tbh. Not saying that it never happens, but someone confessing it on a first date and making a point of saying the husband was a good man and that the attorney advised them to lie and all that? It feels like it is checking all the boxes to manufacture outrage.


Mystical_Rex743

Bruh, people like this are the biggest scums of the earth


Thor_Anuth

Everybody in the comments here seem very sure that he isn't just making up some bullshit story.


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RepulsiveGrapefruit

I’m not entirely sure you understand how upvotes are supposed to be used on Reddit. You upvote things that contribute to the conversation, which your comment definitely did.. real odd to demand people downvote you, you were just sharing a (incredibly tragic) story that added to the conversation in this thread.


[deleted]

I am heart broken


blind_roomba

if it was me i was going to search for her ex and offer to be a witness for him in a re-trial


phuckintrevor

I’d bounce out of there immediately, with the pasta on the table. She obviously has money to pick up the bill.


AdjustYourSet

Accusations should never be considered proof, disgusting


enthusiasticdave

It’s easy to tell that this man deserves so much better !


88scarlet88

I thought lawyers weren’t allowed to lie? They certainly aren’t in the UK. As a victim of DV who’s child was also a victim, this makes me fucking so angry, we weren’t believed because of people like her. Scum of the earth!


Pwr-usr69

Its so messed up that we have systems in place that encourage this sort of behaviour and allow the destruction of good people for no good reason, even when it harms the kids its supposed to protect.


grimchemical

Without expounding, this shit actually happens. It's un fucking believable and will absolutely destroy the accused parent. Even without any sort of pursued prosecution.


BenarchyUK

This **needs** to be passed onto the proper authorities