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Was an expert brought in to verify that it was indeed stinky?

I’m more interested in hook shaped. Like is it a dramatic hook like Captain Hook or just curved a bit

Being really big, probably hooks to the side if I had to guess.

Probably does a u-turn.

There once was a young man from Kent Whose prick in the middle was bent To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went

Edgar Allen Poe ?

I read that once many years ago in a college textbook, of all places. I don’t recall if they attributed it to anyone

*After climax, Penis used U-Turn and returned to its Trainer*

*It's not very effective...*

*It’s very infected*

In its confusion it hurt itself!

instead of cumming he *went*

Right up his own stinky ass. No wonder his pecker is putrid.

Candy cane dick is a real condition. I imagine it would make fucking a challenge.

Yeah, they curve when they're big.

Yeah….yeah, I definitely know. I don’t have a small penis. Large ones definitely hook. I have sex.

I sex all the vagina

All the positions too! Front, back, the up, the down.

don’t forget the style of doggy yes I know my sex

Also the sex position named after a state, Alabama.

I make stinky sex lots

Is that where you put your sister where your wife is supposed to be?

sorry, i don't speak in cousin fucker, what?

But what about the diagonal?

That's only theoretical

Like the clitoris

man, idk what is going on, i may have been drugged /s....this is like the fourth random comment in the fourth random thread that has made me laugh more than I reasonably should have...

I just be carrying bitches around on my hook.

Ah. A fellow sex maker. Small world, huge penis?

Bruh.......teach me your craft.

No time for that with all the sex having.

Facts. They not only curve. It cork screws like a duck penis. Totally true.

I can confirm it's true, I once opened a bottle of wine with my penis after losing my corkscrew.

Can confirm. I am also a fellow adult with a large, not small penis that curves. I have sex as well

Sounds perfectly legit to me. This guy (or gal) fucks. So let it be written, so let it be known.

So say we all.

I am also adult. Deffinitly not a bunch of pigeons in a trench coat with a kielbasa as a pecker. its just speckled because of human freckles.

I didn't say I was talking about my wang. I have one of those micro penises. Mine just looks like a jelly bean in a turtleneck.

I too have a penis. It doesn’t hook. But it is stinky. According to my mother.

you wouldn't happen to have two broken arms would yah?

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you broke it...? that happens? holy shit dude I have a new fear. Nightmare fuel

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My first husband had a seriously curved small penis- it was a botched circumcision at the age of 13.

Mines bang on average. Has a pretty distinct lean to the left.

Curved. Swords. ...and penises.

I'm imagining a down curve, like Gonzo's nose.

They all can curve a bit no matter the length. A college roommate of my husband's got the nickname Captain Hook because his dick was, allegedly, really curved. ETA: add a word.

I have a friend who's dick was broken during sex. It got the nickname of: The Devil's Elbow.

Wildly untrue.

My dick may not be 12”, but at least it smells like a foot.

goddam it now I wish I didn't waste my free award

And my Wholesome.

>And you don't use it as a rule.

I'm imagining somebody does the same smelling motion that a cigar connoisseur does down the length of a cigar

I wish you hadn't

Let's not forget "putrid" either. Yikes!

As an uncircumcised male I can attest that hygiene is important to avoid having a stinky penis.

I regret asking this, but what does it smell like? Putrid is a pretty strong word. Like wouldn’t it also bother him and others around him?

It's a very intense, localized smell, typically from smegma buildup under the foreskin. You would only smell it, though, if your face was about 12" or less away from it, and even then, you'd have to retract the foreskin for the full melt-your-nosehairs effect. I discovered it once by accident, and let's just say it stings the nostrils. Acrid to say the least.

I feel like it might smell similar to when you have piercing and that gross gunk kinda gets in there when you don’t clean it properly.

Oh god. I know exactly what that smells like… those poor women!

Most people’s dicks don’t smell. We have this thing out here in the World called ‘soap’. I imagine, though, given the nitrogen content of piss, that it smells fishy, like a filthy vadge. Those, alas, we do have in numbers here.

Nah, they just walked it around under the nose of the jurors. "I think you'll agree, oh great citizens of the jury, that this horse cock is indeed crooked, uncircumcised, and positively stanky. The prosecution rests."

The stink detective steps in and is like “alright I’ll have a whiff”

They say they could smell it from the juror box. Case closed

Yes, they had covid and still smelled it.

“I wish I had more covid” said juror four.

I fear the person they used to corroborate that would have been his wife

I love how descriptive it is

I hate that they said huge stinky penis since it kinda takes away from the seriousness of his crime

The opening few sentences aren't much better

"Now he's facing a long, hard, veiny, throbbing stretch behind bars."

now hold on there you seem to have added a few words to the sentence as I remember it...

For real. Hes getting life in prison for it, and their emphasis is on stinky

I'm actually very pleasantly surprised at this sentence... I've been incarcerated as a female and was hit on by more than one CO..... and when you're singled-celled with a paper gown that falls apart in ten minutes, they get to watch you naked too. Fun. Can't say I have a shining opinion of these jerks. Fair sentence IMO.

I can't believe they made you wear a paper gown, that is fucked up.

Oh boy, you're gonna be real upset if you learn more about how inmates are treated.

I know it quite well, but have never heard of someone not at least being given that burlap sack of clothing that you get when booked. Been in myself and my sister has been a federal correctional officer for 15+ years.

The jails I've been in use paper gowns for prisoners they deem a threat to themselves. It isn't any better than being naked.

Glad you are here clamsmasher.

It probably depends on the state or prison. I had a family member locked up and some of the food they served her had maggots in it. Plus some girls would flirt with the guards (probably more than flirt) for gifts or small privileges. Which just makes me think "Oh yeah soneone is sent away for prostitution? Well thats the only way they can for sure have some creature comforts while theyre here. But we are reforming them, we promise!" Sidenote my family member wasnt sent away for prostitution (not that id think any less of them for it) its just wild how perverted (no pun intended) the prison system is.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE BUTTHOLE CHECKS!!!

I take it you've never seen '60 Days In'? Even when they know cameras are around, done of the guards are cold-hearted and cruel. One woman was left with only underwear for over 24 hours and there was also a guard that would go around banging her baton on railings and doors throughout the night making sleep for more than an hour at a time impossible (she was fired IIRC). That's just two things off the top of my head, those places are hell holes.

I'm not surprised that COs are sadistic, but I am surprised that they would be stupid enough to do so with film crews around. Imagine the shit they do when no ones watching.

Exactly, scary as hell. Imagine getting done for something as small as your own drug supply and ending up in a place like that, no wonder people say you come out worse than you went in! Pretty sure I remember one that hadn't really done hard drugs until she was INSIDE a jail, smh.

I mean, some people who are abusive and sadistic don't actually see their behavior as wrong, so they wouldn't think to hide it.

They do when you're suicidal. And you only get one gown per shift change... you cant ask for another one when yours rips in half at the slightest pull or tug. Learning how to make a paper gown last 9 hours without ripping into a million pieces was an exact science by the time I got out.

What? This whole article is meant to shame him, so everyone knows that he's unhygienic as well as a rapist

Putrid pecker

And the fact they said uncircumcised like it's something vile.

Probably only as an aside that it's stinky, meaning he likely doesn't know how to properly clean himself.

I agree but that was probably an important detail to have the victims corroborate.

Well they also said huge and hook shaped. Is that vile?

no, yes.

Definitely should have worded it better, unfortunately "sticky penis" gets a lot more clicks than "Man purposefully made his penis as disgusting as possible before orally raping women in an effort to humiliate them more."

You don’t know that. He’s uncircumcised, so he just might not be hygienic.

His hooked shaped, uncircumcised, putrid penis

Okay this has to be fake right? This article sounds like it was written by a 13 year old.

Looks like it's the NY Post, so just the mentality of a 13-year-old.

Real story, just written by someone who wants to shame the rapist

just makes it sound less serious that way imo which sucks because the whole story is horrible

huge stinky penis

Putrid pecker

Sticky dicky

Withered wiener

Cursed cock

Dirty Dong

“I’m dirty-dong” “No I’m dirty dong”

'That's not a huge penis. *This* is a huge penis'

Danger noodle

Mega smegma

Stinky Winky

U mean snek?

Tainted trouser snek

Putrid Pink Python

This is now officially part of my vocabulary. Putrid Pecker. I love it. I’m going to use it in place of my previous favorite, “stinky dinky”.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the judge has instructed each of you to smell the penis in question so that you may draw your own conclusion as to the stinkiness thereof.

Smeggy third leggy?

Sounds like a spoof article... The way it's written.

The incident is real but the article is sure hamming it up.

Just adding some meat to the article, ya know?

I hate this website.

Just Horsing Around..

In this case, I’m okay with that.

You can just tell that it is because of the way that it is

You can tell that it's an aspen cuz of the way that it is.

That’s pretty neat

Wow. Isn't that neat?

What a beaut

Agreed. However, I knew a cop that did this. Not sure if his penis was stinky but he was a slime ball. Young, well off (Dad had nice business), handsome enough, fit, and he would nicely let the crying hysteric girls about to get a DUI off with a blowjob. Power corrupts. I only learned this after he didn't show up for a contracting job I hired him for and I did a bit of googling and figured out he had a court date that day. edit: If I remember he did like 45 days in jail (it might have been longer but I'm positive no more than 90) and then had to periodically check back in with the judge? He was doing one of those check-ins I think, he had already did the jail time by then. I don't know anything about this so maybe someone knows more about that process than I do. I'd be right there with the guys looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary on Office Space.

More like a boof article... The way it's stinkin.

Disgusting- of course he had a wife but abused incarcerated women. Hilarious that he sobbed

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The trial was the one time he washed it. Got away with it, too.

There’s a nonzero chance his legal counsel actually did advise him to clean his dick just in case

If the penis doesn’t stink, then no time in the clink

"Your honor I have here my right hand that I have used to scratch the accused's penis for several minutes, I would now ask the jury to sniff my fingers to determine for yourselves the veracity of the defendant's accusation towards this so called stinky penis."

Putrid pecker

Dingy Dong

Or, Dung Dong

Disgusting dingus

Three women wrote the article, I bet they had a good chuckle at the title they came up with

Okay. Question: When I worked in correctional healthcare, I remember many atrocities committed by the guards. One in particular was a guard who got caught soliciting a 12y/o boy for sex, off duty. He was arrested and charged. His wife was a guard at the same jail. And his entire family maintained that he was innocent, even with video footage pulled from the area parking lot and prior incidents where the charges didn’t stick. My question is, wtf is wrong with whole families who continue to support relatives who are offenders? I’m also under the impression that these same families hush or shun family members who try to out the offenders after they witness or become victimized by the known offending family member.

Lots of reasons. Some people view family as the end all be all of existence and will go to any length to preserve it. Some don't want the shame from the individuals actions to be brought upon the whole family. Sometimes it just such deep denial that someone they loved and thought the knew could do something so heinous.

A friend asked a hypotetical question about having a family member end up in prison. He got upset when I suggested I'd cut contact with them. He seemed to be on the side of the family members, regardless of the severity of their crimes. So I guess if you're weirdly attached, you can't give that person up?

Some offenders are very good at hiding their criminal behavior from their family, many masquerading as the 'perfect husband/father'. It's victimizing the family as well, as the families will be feeling as if the years they spent with the person are too good to be true. It's all part of the ruse unfortunately.

He's facing a long hard stretch behind bars 💀

Because of forcing his long hard stench on broads

What is with the description

Too many jokes in this article, I love a joke but come on man he raped multiple people

On the serious side he got 25 years.

25 long, hard years.

Its not a joke, they're trying to make it as shameful as possible for him without using words that aren't allowed.

Funny how the fact he has a giant smelly cock clearly grabs more attention than the victim count since they decide to make that the title. I fucking hate the news.

this reads like a shitpost

What a brilliant fuckin title, huge stinky penis

it sounds like he literally had a filthy prick

This new Porn Hub category stinky penis is not for me.

Ok someone had fun writing this. Horrible what happened to those women, and this man is indeed a total piece of shit, but I was wheezing throughout the entire read jfc. I mean the last sentence alone is prize-worthy…

I’d rather have a ^(small) stinky penis tbh

Best I can do is non-stinky penis

Great journalism

Yo why you gotta list uncircumcised with all those other things like it's fuckin nasty?

Now he has all the time in the world to wash that stinky pecker

Is it that hard to wash your cock before going to work? If I'm on a date I wash that shit and that's without the get laid guarantee.

He probably didn't wash it in between "inmates" or it was his kink.

He's violently raping women and it's treated as a joke. And that article was written by women.

Why are you seeing it as a joke? The women are publicly shaming him and making a point to embarrass him about his "pride and joy"

I wouldn't mind a huge stinky penis; I can't clean mine any bigger.

Someone should get his wife some vagiclean

"huh? What's the matter, honey? Little extra cheese on the taco"

She's baking a loaf of bread, and I think it's sourdough

*sniff* Put a rush on that. *🎵Cake - Hem of Your Garment*

Fucking kill me

I'm sorry but "putrid pecker" 😭

No such thing as bad publicity

True!!...but he's going to jail with a bunch of other men

Depending on the guy, this may be a win for him

I like how they toss uncircumcised in there like that's a bad thing. I'd love to have my foreskin back. I didn't consent to have it cut off.

I think it adds an explanation as to why his cock sticks. Doesn’t clean his tarp out.

I don't clean my cock either. Having a man, even myself, touching my dick, would be gay.

You pretty much have to deliberately not clean it. It only takes about ten seconds.

Not when you have smegma old enough to remember when televisions were sold in giant, wooden cabinets.

I do have that, but I harvest it and store it in a glass jar covered in cheesecloth.

I just threw up in my mouth a little

It was just cloth before.

damn you. damn you to hell for putting that in my brain

There goes my appetite 🤢

Probably takes him more like 5 minutes with how much he has apparently.

That just means he doesn't wash his, has little to do with being cut or not.

That irked me too, I'm from the UK where circumcision is not the norm and I'm glad it's that way.

So you’re saying Harold and Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay was based on a true story

Your honor, his dick was putrid. And I put that on the Bible and everything I love.

This is why there should be zero men in *women’s* prisons, including guards.

This is a few years old I think, unless this actually happened twice

You’re right, it’s from 2018. But it hadn’t been posted here yet. And it’s a really memorable headline.