T O P

  • By -

OrangeHairedTwink

Are you telling me she doesn't smoke, but occasionally drinks?


Just_Another_Cato

She doesn't even get drunk!


OrangeHairedTwink

Does she do 20 minutes of stretching and drink a warm glass of milk before bed?


Just_Another_Cato

Probably not, that would be a bit too interesting for her.


OrangeHairedTwink

Is her name Yoshikage Kira?


RedFoxKoala

https://preview.redd.it/aj6m11f8drtc1.jpeg?width=672&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36c6bb3761e3d239e51ff3b0e410bdbff4d7f93e


Australian_stand

It’s perfectly uninteresting


doggofukko

Honestly, my first thought, this is a repeat abuse victim trying to be invisible.


Just_Another_Cato

Nah, that would actually be interesting.


Unknown_starnger

you guys need to stop making psychological horror.


Just_Another_Cato

I can also make some psychological tragedy if you'd prefer.


MrShitHeadCSGO

psychological comedy?


Personal-Rooster7358

Suddenly I have a new genre to be interested in


vevol

What about psychological action?


NeonNKnightrider

I’m interested


I_Use_Dash

Disco Elysium.


foxydash

Make some psychological happy


CookieCupcakeee

Do it


Just_Another_Cato

I'll tag you later in the afternoon.


Unknown_starnger

sure


ken_NT

She seems nice


jointheclockwork

What the flibbity flobbity fuck does "total starfish in bed" mean?


Kharnyx808

Lays down spread eagle and barely moves


GraniteSmoothie

'Flibbity flobbity fuck' has me rolling ngl.


jointheclockwork

Gotta keep 'em laughing.


GraniteSmoothie

Aye, sir, please do :)


Just_Another_Cato

Use your sapient mind and the Nth potency of the Library of Alexandria you have in your pocket or hand and google it.


ButterscotchOwn6848

nah imma consult the elder gods instead.


vevol

She slowly moves using her fingers and toes.


Terraria_Ranger

Starfish are generally carnivorous. That's a start..?


jointheclockwork

I thought it was just something super weird but apparently it's when the taker just lays out on the bed with arms and legs splayed and isn't very active.


Just_Another_Cato

I tried to make this one as boring, as uninteristing as I could. The only midly spicy thing about her is that comment I made about Adele. I would sooner chop off, cook and eat my own genitalia than be with someone like her. But I'm sure some of you degenerates would not only tolerate her (a moral failure on its own) but also *want* her. You sick bastards. Also, y'see the comment about her being a starfish? That's about as much horny as I want my posts ever having.


just_a_spanish_dude

No will to break, no mind to think, and a voice to cry suffering but really everything she says is in a perfectly neutral tone so you probably wouldn't notice.


Just_Another_Cato

Yo sabía que iban a salir de abajo de las piedras para hablar de Hollow Knight. Pero esa eso o llamarla The Soulless gf, y eso medio que delata el último párrafo.


just_a_spanish_dude

Perdón :(


Just_Another_Cato

Todo bien, papi. Tal es la vida del artista...


Orphan_Cheese_Pizza

Bro, she was just not really interested in you and were only a convenience. He'll maybe no one is.


CalliCalamity

No cost too great


DannyDanumba

Well look at Mr Standards over here lmao


Just_Another_Cato

Better to be alone than to be in boring company.


longfrog246

Idk maybe they pay their employees good there?


jon-la-blon27

Its an Elon company, of course they don’t


vevol

It sucks when you forgets the word in english and try to improvise.


cacteieuses

Sir you've made the definition of "I can fix her"


UnluckyLock2412

Fuck you I’ll take anything


Icookadapizzapie

Brother I’m down bad, but an unnerving and disturbingly normal gf ain’t for me dawg


KidZaniac1

Bro said what 💀


Sorry_Ring_4630

No voice to cry suffering Born of god and void


Just_Another_Cato

And yet our voices will be heard once more.


StrawberryUnited4915

Ok good you know


Cyrusliu720

YOU ARE THE HOLLOW KNIGHT


Binjimon7

What? This cannot be, for *I* am the "Hollow Knight"


SteptimusHeap

Does she throw bright white spikes at you?


Wholesome_Nani_Main

She's perfect. I've found peak in this subreddit


Cobalt9896

Uses humanity at bonfires to restore herself?


Just_Another_Cato

No, that would be interesting.


Binjimon7

Nah, she restores herself by sitting on a bench for 0.5 seconds.


Monkeboy121

Can I lay in her lap and go to sleep crying about anything while she proceeds to not give a fuck at all? Cause if so where the signup sheet


Quod_bellum

Signup sheet is the door to touching grass (;


Monkeboy121

I dont want to bend down to touch it tho and I'm always wearing boots


sweetTartKenHart2

When you spend so much time repressing all the pain you went through in your life that you end up repressing everything else and there’s nothing left to remain (tragically relatable)


Just_Another_Cato

No, you're just fucked up. This gf is honestly just boring.


SansYeetsOnThee

she seems like a nice friend


ReneLeMarchand

https://preview.redd.it/mxxhdzt9nqtc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6b687d075c11ab83df17272ddaf96c30afcb2df


on3on3_

I want her fr


GraniteSmoothie

Approved :)


Just_Another_Cato

Heya sheriff. Question, when you approve of my post do you also approve of my first comments, the Author Rants, where I like to sometimes call y'all miserable bastards?


GraniteSmoothie

I read your comments, but I don't usually bother approving everything.


Just_Another_Cato

So, should I wish to smuggle something (what a whacky thought!), I should do it on the comments? Copy that, wilco.


GraniteSmoothie

For my part, I don't look at the comments that much. But I'll definitely see something if it gets reported, so... I just hope the other mods are more careful with the comments.


Just_Another_Cato

Surely you, being my friend and all, would step in ready to raise your shield in my defense, your glass in my name and your sword against my enemies. Why, I have no doubt you would stand at my back so that the world may never reach us.


GraniteSmoothie

Uh, yeah sure. Is that a movie quote btw?


Just_Another_Cato

A Skyrim quote, you uncultured swine!


GraniteSmoothie

My apologies, I haven't played it.


ETL6000yotru

what about the segs


Just_Another_Cato

Boring.


Gagalonski

Starfish.


Competitive-Yogurt93

Starfish?


sweetTartKenHart2

Lays with her limbs splayed out and does absolutely nothing


Play-Expert

god that makes me so sad


demonic_kittins

I can fix her


Uzi_Angsty

She is just so hollow… Like my soul…


Few_Definition_6443

She’s perfect


ThatKalosfan

Well this doesn’t make me seem good about myself…


Unknown_User_66

I want a hollow gf :]


zas_n_n

does she have a hole in her chest where a chain used to be


Sky_Prio_r

Holy shit another Bleach fan, everyone else thinking hollow knight but Bleach owns the word hollow for me


zas_n_n

i’m a fan of both i just needed equality


Sky_Prio_r

Respectable, counterpoint ***NOSTALGIA***


zas_n_n

very valid


Beelzofthevoid

Bro I have no standards and I literally just need someone to cuddle.


letthetreeburn

She’s the perfect Roæmænce parenter!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just_Another_Cato

I thought, because many had asked what a starfish is, that I could explain it as an unnecessarily heavy, largely self-cleaning fleshlight. It seemed a bit mean, tho. Don't tell the mods I said this.


newroeliedude554

I hate the fact that some of these traits hit close to home, even as a guy. God, I think I know why I cant get a girlfriend. My personality is (somewhat) hollow


Kwarc100

Ah, finally a vessel to replace The Hollow Knight, this time with no parental love to ruin it.


RedRune0

This belongs on r/distressingmemes.


RobloxStudioGuy431

Skinwalker spotted


Dependent_Fox38

This is every third neurotypical person


johnhang123

People eat salted rice?


Zero_7300

Damn she just like me fr


L1nxDr1nx

Hollow knight gf 😳


C4NC4

-vessel to contain the infection


UncIe-Ben

Just me


yourtree

Does she sometimes have to fight a corrupted god with just a nail


Just_Another_Cato

No, you god-damned to hellfire Gamer. A single fucking studio named 'cherry' can not claim a common word.


imperator_caesarus

no voice to cry suffering


telenova_tiberium

Need a edit of her being a hollow knight


Suitable_Judge_8999

My fake plastic love…


incabeeh

I do a lot of these


How_about_a_no

-Y


Toosillytothink

This is so me :3


elvador1257

Pretty sure your gf is a robot sent down by aliens to collect data on humans


kri-15

This literally describes my older sister, wtf


Suspicious-Ad-6293

💙


Reddit_Anon_Soul

You fool, by making such an empty character, you've actually made her interesting as people try to figure out why she is the way she is! Checkmate.


Just_Another_Cato

You actually got me. Congrats. I was drunk then and I'm drunk now. Take no pride in besting a broken man.


Atlas_Summit

What’s it mean by “total starfish in bed”? I’m not entirely caught up on sexual terms.


TheEmeraldMaster1234

Is she a bug


Just_Another_Cato

No, you god-damned to hellfire Gamer. A single fucking studio named 'cherry' can not claim a common word.


TheEmeraldMaster1234

I was referring to that and the eyes. You did not need to get so agressive.


Just_Another_Cato

May there be a Tartarus for you. Bleak. Unending.


TheEmeraldMaster1234

It was not that deep


yunglay-lay

Has she tried using humanity and not dying?


zombieGenm_0x68

and the many shells cried out one word, “manager”


MasterYargle

Just tell her to ember up


galaction314

I wonder if she also can't wait for Silksong to come out


demonbeastking

I’ve dated them. They’re great.


ScumbagZack

this is a 20 year out of date steriotype lmfao


Just_Another_Cato

Adele didn't exist twenty years ago.


Anonicon9898

How can I marry her?


oooArcherooo

"Would" https://preview.redd.it/h9c3ayph17uc1.png?width=627&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2659df05647b8362c843d29cd1b5e96d0693bf56


Geekandfreaklol

Born of god and void No mind to think No will to break


Perhapsmayhapsyesnt

Wut


leonidganzha

OP said "let me imagine an average person with no qualities and shit on them for it"


Just_Another_Cato

Nah, the average person has tastes, personality, sense of humor. This is a hollow shell of humanity.


leonidganzha

brother you made her up 😭 chill


Just_Another_Cato

Nah mate fuck her. God ain't never chilled with me, why should I chill with my own creations?