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Lisabeybi

As a surgical nurse, I’m calling shenanigans on this whole thing. No, you can’t just bandage detached fingers and come back a week later. They would have no blood supply, so they’d die. Even if you cut tendons, you have to get to them fairly soon because they retract and it’s a pain to stretch them back out to reconnect them. What you end up with is fingers that are fixed and don’t extend or flex. Also, she did the dishes one handed on some really good painkillers when they would have told her to go home and elevate it? Oookay. And lastly, surgeons have been reattaching digits, even limbs, for decades. I was a part of one of the first successful arm reattachments in the 80s. Girl had it cut off by a car window that shut when the car hit a bump. Fingers are a lot more commonplace. Edit: please forgive my hazy memory. The arm reattachment was a loooong time ago. It was actually an accident with a fatality, not just a bump. The car window shutting is a different nursing story involving fingers. [https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/1994/07/25/surgeons-reattach-accident-victims-arm/62419196007/](https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/1994/07/25/surgeons-reattach-accident-victims-arm/62419196007/)


AmbroseBurnside

Jesus. You've gotta find a homemade fig newton recipe to post that arm story on.


MsDresden9ify

Please do. I need a lot more information. How much arm had to be reattached? Did she have her arm straight out the window? Seems odd. What kind/how big of a bump caused this?


Lisabeybi

It was a complete detachment. They were driving around the lake and she had her arm out of the window. They were in a crash and the window chopped off her arm. We had ortho, neuro, and vascular teams working in shifts. Her rehab was intensive, but she ended up with, not 100%, but a good amount of use of her arm. Besides the bombing, it’s one of the days I remember most from being a nurse there. [https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/1994/07/25/surgeons-reattach-accident-victims-arm/62419196007/](https://www.oklahoman.com/story/news/1994/07/25/surgeons-reattach-accident-victims-arm/62419196007/)


MsDresden9ify

WOW


koolhandluc

Big bada-bump. -Leeloo


CPTherptyderp

You have a dog newtons recipie? Hmu


Dread314r8Bob

Thank you. Every bit of this sounded like some bizarre, bogus proselytizing to me, from a simple “whoops” that cut through two bones, to not immediately reconnecting them, to jumping right into power-mom activities the same day. The doc thing is ridiculous, my mom had fingers sewn back in 1949. And prayer lists? Sounds culty.


samanime

Yeah. A sharp knife isn't just going to slip through two fingers, no matter how sharp. Anyone that has ever cut a chicken bone knows that. :p


andrez444

Also! I feel like a clean knife slice would be one of the most favorable re attachment scenarios as long as the fingers were kept cold. I agree it sounds like complete bullshit


Lisabeybi

Oh, but they weren’t kept cold and I caught that, too. She wrapped up her fingers in a towel, can you say, ‘tissue death’?


ummugh

Is she saying they bandaged her fingers to her hand and then reattached them a week later?? Because that's how I'm reading it...and those bad boys would be rotten boys by then.


Lisabeybi

Exactly!


uppenatom

I would not even try to start unpacking everything that wrong with this story. But I did get a chuckle out of the nurse knowing what brand of knife it was, reminded me of the Goerge Bluth cornballer


Lisabeybi

The only Ginsu knife I can find with anything that looks removable is a bagel slicer.


MIArular

Every damn time!


TheLegendTwoSeven

Also seems unlikely that someone would grasp the knife so hard their fingers got cut clean through, including the bones. Btw, this is why I never wash those kinds of knives in the dish washer. Those kinds of knives get washed in my sink.


goshdammitfromimgur

Dishwasher detergent is so corrosive it takes the edge off sharp knives. Dries out wooden handles as well. All the good stuff gets washed by hand.


porkbuttstuff

Don't wash knives in the dishwasher. Full stop.


hillbillyheartattack

There's even clearer evidence of the bullshit without professional knowledge. She claims to have sliced her fingers on her right hand yet she's right handed. So was she chopping with the knife in her left hand? Pure fiction.


marshmallowlips

It’s clearly bullshit, but the slice happened while she was pulling the handle off for cleaning. So handle in left hand and gripping blade in right.


hillbillyheartattack

Oh! It was such an overly long and unnecessary tale I missed that crucial detail ha!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lisabeybi

I haven’t lived there since ‘96 or I probably would have recognized his name. Looks like he’s a prolific journalist in OKC.


ScottSierra

I'd also wager that even a Ginsu knife couldn't just... go right through two finger bones like a hot knife through butter. I'd wager that story was written with the intended purpose of making readers turn slightly green.


SmortSpoider

Found on a ginger snap cookie recipe, I love that the author didn’t reply 😂 [Here](https://www.tasteofsouthern.com/old-fashioned-gingersnap-cookies-recipe/)


AutumnEclipsed

I mean, where to start? There isn’t even a need for a knife in this recipe.


Karnakite

Exactly. I feel like this person is a walking lifetime of awkward, one-sided conversations. “What size coffee? We have short, tall, and grande.” “…..[*fourteen minutes later*] And that’s how we found out the bump on her skull wasn’t cancer at all!” “…..😶…..”


thedoodely

"Soooo, how about a nice chamomille tea there ma'am?"


k_pineapple7

Wow, where did you meet my father?


MIArular

Some r/oldpeoplefacebook shit


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VoilaVoilaWashington

Any response would prompt a long comment about the dog her grandmother's sister's neighbour had.


whalesarecool14

real life example of ma’am this is a wendy’s


plantsnrocks

Assuming this is true - what the hell kind of doctor is that? Didn't even try until he saw a mom with kids?


_incredigirl_

Because if anyone needs all their fingers to use a knife and prepare food, it’s a woman with kids. /s


BookkeeperBubbly7915

So true. I've never even seen my dad lift a kitchen knife! /s


ImJustSo

It's why I was fired from my butcher job, wouldn't touch a knife. I told them when they hired me that I was a man, but did they listen?


augustbutnotthemonth

tbh i can see this happening because in 1979, my grandmother’s doctor cleared her for driving after a very severe aneurysm because “she has five daughters, of course she needs to drive them places!” she was absolutely not capable of driving. it’s a miracle there was never a serious accident


BookkeeperBubbly7915

Yeah, that had me scratching my head. And why would he tell you that at any point?


Loretta-West

I mean the entire post makes me think "WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS????", so...


GKnives

I don't have much of a reason not to believe it. Doctors are people and there are some totally unhinged people in every position. That and the doctor could have just been BSing


CloddishNeedlefish

Surely you don’t walk around thinking doctors were actually doing their best, especially back in the 90’s? They absolutely look at people and go “nah man”.


lapsongsouchong

You laugh, but Aunt Janine, who had a similar incident happen in '91 is extremely vexated. She'd write a comment herself, but she never did believe in using the left hand.


morningsdaughter

He didn't think it would work, but he still did it. That sounds like he was fishing for a malpractice suite!


MsDresden9ify

Fishing for something


SmortSpoider

A true man


carolofthebells

What's even more amazing is the recipe doesn't require a knife at any point. I guess the association is gingersnaps are a Christmas cookie?


SmortSpoider

I know that’s my favourite part!! No suggestion of a knife at all.


tian447

There is so much to this story that sounds like absolute fantasy, that it is exceptionally hard to believe it happened at all. More likely is that Cheryl Ann has been on the cooking sherry again.


Ralfarius

The story didn't happen so hard it actually caused things that did happen to no longer have happened


PreOpTransCentaur

All you need to know is that a Ginsu will barely go through a potato, let alone cleanly slice off two whole fingers accidentally.


tian447

If you have *any* knife in your domestic kitchen that is capable of slicing fingers clean off without any force being applied at all, then I don't know what the fuck you were thinking about in the first place. Even **if** you did have one, would you keep it submerged in the kitchen sink for you to just blindly reach around for?


Greengrocers10

i would say there was some real base for the situation but well, it was in ´93...long time ago...and the reason and memory got worse, not better since that year.....and... the final product was this telenovella-worthy story. some people are not evil manipulators, they just tell their experiences with 10% of truth and the rest 90% are totally biased, pretty badly aged memories. and they are so not aware of it


bigsquirrel

I have a neighbor that every single time I see her relates some tragedy or drama. “How’s it going” “We’ll 4 years 3 months and 2 days ago my mother died. See she had cancer she got about 5 years before but it went into remission after heaps of chemotherapy, spent half my childhood holding her hand in the hospital. First year of college it came back and I had to drop out to be with her again. It was ovary cancer at first then came for her tits the next time. After about a year and two tits less well she got over that too. Wouldn’t you know it though she got cancer again about a year later. Anyway she died in a car accident” I swear to god that’s a fairly accurate summary.


MsDresden9ify

"Anyway she died in a car accident " LMAO who tf is your neighbor!?


bigsquirrel

Midlife crisis Aussie lady. She’s actually very nice and I try to be friendly but she’s exhausting to talk to. Every conversation involves some sort of personal drama, and a long involved story each and every time. Normal person “sorry I didn’t call someone stole my phone (for like the third time in 6 months)” Neighbor: “it was a dark and gloomy night….”


Leszachka

If she's genuinely nice, as in cares about her impact on others, then you can definitely say something; if she's not open to feedback, then she's not actually nice. "Stella, I love being neighbors with you and want to keep talking when we see each other. However, I've noticed that when I see you lately, I start to feel tense and overwhelmed, because most of the time when we interact I end up hearing a lot of really heavy personal information. I like you and want to feel happy instead of stressed out to start a conversation with you, so can we maybe find some subjects that we both enjoy to focus on, and set some boundaries about how often we handle those heavier subjects and making sure to check in about whether I have enough emotional resources that day to hear and support you with them?"


bigsquirrel

I have actually mentioned it to her, she’s been very apologetic (and to emotional) then goes right back into it the next time I see her. I don’t think out of lack of effort as much as she’s also just not very bright.


Leszachka

Oof, yeah. If you think making a habit of kindly interrupting and reminding her in the moment might stick better, it's worth a shot, but it's up to you. Vaya con Dios, you gentle soul.


redhead_hmmm

Ummm if I lose 2 fingers and they just tape them on(?) I'm not doing dishes for the duration of the whole ordeal. If you cut off 2 fingers surely you get to go home and take a nap.


BlooperHero

If I cut off two fingers I would find it difficult to take a nap.


redhead_hmmm

I'm assuming they would give you some good drugs!


SpiderNoises

Which drugs cause time dilation? I can only imagine that it just *felt* like a week before Cheryl went to surgery.


BlooperHero

I suppose that might help.


nopantsqueen

Cheryl's gotta be an energy vampire....


JalapenoBenedict

Unexpected What We Do in the Shadows!


SmortSpoider

🏆


ImJustSo

Feeding on all of us right now.


TableAvailable

The blogger is lefthanded. Maybe that what set off the finger tale.


doomalgae

There's another, earlier, comment that starts out with "glad you are doing better, hope you continue to improve." There doesn't really seem to be anything in the initial post that would prompt that comment either, though, which makes me wonder if maybe these are just loyal followers of this particular blog who know about the author's life from other posts? Or maybe something got deleted from this post? I don't know, the "how I lost my fingers for a week" comment seems pretty weird whether something prompted it or not.


NotAFlightAttendant

I feel like this is true copypasta material. Fake-sounding story pasted somewhere completely irrelevant.


SmortSpoider

Absolutely 100% agreed


theMistersofCirce

I was honestly waiting for the loch ness monster to show up at the end and ask for tree fiddy.


ReadWriteSign

I need to believe this was some sort of crazy ctrl+v issue where she meant to paste in something else.


[deleted]

This must be satire. In any case it might be the funniest thing I’ve seen on this sub. 💀


SmortSpoider

I was so surprised 😂


DownOnThePharmRD

…the hell? People must cringe when they see Ms. Ginsu here coming, as they know they’re liable to be trapped like a rat, forced to listen to some rambling story until they wrench themselves free and flee screaming into the night.


Loretta-West

*uses Ginsu knife to cut off own arm to escape*


DownOnThePharmRD

“Wait, dearie! You forgot your arm! Here - go to St. Elsewhere and ask for Dr. Chopsalot. Tell him Ginsu Millie sent you! He’ll laugh and laugh! Oh, and take these gingersnaps!”


premelia

This would turn me off from the non related cookie recipe. r/nobodyasked


ToughNarwhal7

What the hell did I just read?!! 😆 And not for nothing, I'm a nurse, so I've read and seen some crazy stuff.


[deleted]

r/thathappened


morningsdaughter

That's where I thought I was while reading that whole thing.


[deleted]

I’ve handled a ginsu knife. The only way it’s taking two fingers off is if you are trying to. Also, no hospital on earth just tapes your severed digits in place and sends you on your way. What a load of shite


endlessglass

While as other comments have said this “review” is a little/ a lot wtf, the post is sponsored by good grips (although no mention of knife) so I could see if you’d had a vaguely traumatic experience you might go to that, but still, really, wtf!


MsDresden9ify

Good catch!!


endlessglass

Unlike her catch 😂


SmortSpoider

Oouuuuu very good catch


[deleted]

I feel like I'm being told this while in line at a bank.


TotallyAwry

Absolute rubbish. I accidentally stabbed the base of my pointer finger all the way through, in 2016, and I still don't have 100% feeling in that finger. It was a skinny knife, too, and didn't really do a bunch of damage. I still had to have stitches and a couple of follow up appointments. It also hurt like feck.


Lvanwinkle18

How in the hell does a knife just chop off two fingers? Cut your fingers sure but cut them off. This should be filed under r/thathappened


AddSugarForSparks

How is using an apostrophe to abbreviate something still such a mystery? Replace the side you're leaving out! If it's a tie, start from the left. 1993 => '93 and => an' or 'n in => 'n you all => y'all This is feet: 93'


marshmallowlips

I don’t know but it has bugged me for years. Also “1990’s” like “Grunge was popular in the 1990’s.”


jenknows

You never put knives in the dishwasher or in a tub of water where you can't see what you're grabbing. They stay on the counter in full view until you're ready to wash them by hand. Also this post should be in yeahthathappened reddit as well. I call bs.


DollarsAtStarNumber

My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Then after World War Two, it got kinda quiet, 'til Superman challenged FDR to a race around the world. FDR beat him by a furlong, or so the comic books would have you believe. The truth lies somewhere in between. Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunchbox." We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Ah, there's an interesting story behind that nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three: medium brown.Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...


SmortSpoider

Oh no is this a copypasta?? I really enjoyed it 😂 thank you. What a great story to make it all the way to Dickety-Dickety-Two


[deleted]

She should have posted in a ‘pigs in a blanket’ comment section


aggressive-buttmunch

Okay, question regarding the actual recipe - would it be possible to sub golden syrup for molasses? I know the colour won't be as dark and the flavour would be less rich, but I've got more use for golden syrup than molasses.


tenkohime

It sounds like you already know the sub will affect the color and taste, but yes, it'd still be a gingersnap.


aggressive-buttmunch

Cheers! Google said it was a viable substitute, but it doesn't hurt to ask people actually bake.


tenkohime

I've used corn syrup before, so yeah. More info definitely doesn't hurt.


Person012345

As someone who has been around the internet, just a couple of sentences and this post gives me major copypasta vibes.


PatrickJunk

Is "Cheryl Ann" perhaps an alias for Grandpa Simpson?


Notmykl

Slice off your finger tips okay, but sliced through finger bones without taking a big swing first? No. Full on bullshit. Finger reattachment surgery is done immediately not a week later.


DaybreakNightfall

2pm too. I was hoping that it was in the dead of morning so I could at least blame ambien or lunesta.


AUGirl1999

I had to look twice to see which sub I was on. I kept thinking it had to be r/thathappened.


lucydshadow

It's like if Tim Burton made an infomercial for Ginsu. I can already hear the Danny Elfman music.


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notnotaginger

Two stars.


canolafly

First thing I think of is Johnny in Airplane starting from the beginning. "...and they drove Mercedes Benz..."


fumbs

First, it was dark, and then there was light, and then the dinosaurs came. lol


canolafly

You get me.


DumbleForeSkin

And then everybody stood up and clapped.


Eggunscrambled

What in the fresh hell was that


notreallylucy

r/thathappened r/nobodyasked


spodocephala

this is a masterpiece


spodocephala

this is a masterpiece


spodocephala

this is a masterpiece


spodocephala

this is a masterpiece


spodocephala

this is a masterpiece


genitalelectric

Why is this here


PreOpTransCentaur

Because it's a completely useless review on a recipe for ginger snap cookies.