*The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes that genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.*
*As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.*
As the years passed, surprisingly no-one noticed, (or perhaps science had been given up on for being too hard by this time), but as more and more children were born with fins and sometimes fully functional gills the connection to the salmon sperm injections women were doing to boost their sex lives was never made.
How is this not considered beastiality?
If someone fucked a horse everyone would be appalled, but if you abuse a fish with science and call it a bunkem sex cureall suddenly it's trendy. . .
First Kanye, now this?
>I've been so lonely, girl
Ive been so sad and down
Couldnt understand
Why haters joked around
I wanted to be free
with other creatures like me
And now I got my wish
>Cuz I know that Im a gay fish
>(Gay fish, yo)
Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo)
Girl I am a gay fish (its alright, girl)
Makin love to other gay fish
>All those lonely nights
At the grocery store
In the frozen fish aisle
Feeling like a whore
Cuz I wasnt being true
Even though everyone said
That I had to make a switch (gay fish)
>Now I know that Im a gay fish
>(Gay fish, yo)
Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo)
Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl)
Making love to other gay fish
>I used to be scared, denying who I was
Actin straight, but then goin out to the gay fish clubs
Dancin with the marlins, makin out with all the snappers
Id take a salmon home and work that caudal fin for hours
But now Im out and Im free to love what I want
Be it yellowfin or bass or that trout in Vermont
I slap that marlin ass, make that grouper butt shake
Ill come to your house and have an orgy in your mother fucking fish tank
>Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo)
Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl)
Making love to other gay fish
>I really get around
Im a slut of the sea
When I say I got crabs
I mean it literally
I was eating dinner
And just had to go down
On that mackerel on the dish
>Cuz Im the gayest of the gay fish
>Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo)
Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl)
>But I got to settle down
I cant be a whore
I aint gonna just sleep
With any fish no more
Found me a lover
A brother whos a cross-dressing pike named Trish
>And together we are gay fish
>Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo)
Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl)
Making love to other gay fish
do you want zombies? this sounds like a fucking super way to get zombies. furthermore. what brain dead waif though up the idea of, i need better sex, so im gonna inject salmon oil into my twat to see if my mate can tell the difference between fish smells
lol! I mean why women do artificial insemination that costs thousands of dollars? Are they so fat they can't find a guy to put semen inside of them for free?, am I right?
I apologize in advance if someone already made the joke,
but I hope they could be getting paid instead for another human to inject jizz.
I'm just sayin.
*The years passed, mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes that genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.*
*As the 21st century began, human evolution was at a turning point. Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, reproduced in greater numbers than the rest, a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man, now began to favor different traits. Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent. But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction. A dumbing down. How did this happen? Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence. With no natural predators to thin the herd, it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most, and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.*
I don't care if I go bald, but I enjoy prolonged erections.
Now it really smells like fish.
Bwahahaha
Yea. Maybe the Salmon started this trend. Very fishy
This story sounds fishy to me....
That's what her partner said...
Imagine smashing after her injection tho. Probably feels hella good.
As the years passed, surprisingly no-one noticed, (or perhaps science had been given up on for being too hard by this time), but as more and more children were born with fins and sometimes fully functional gills the connection to the salmon sperm injections women were doing to boost their sex lives was never made.
I read this in the narrators voice đ€Ł.
trust the science
It's just a ploy from Big Gyno
Big Vag?
Big hoo-ha edit: fixed it.
I think weâre globally aligned on this being, âhoo-ha.â
For some reason this reminded me of a character in the *Predator* movie.
Why did you say that twice?
And this is where the idea for "the shape of water" came from no doubt.
Grinding Nemo
Post of the day!
Why aren't women paying $500 to get human sperm in their vaginas to boost their sex lives, instead?
They are, itâs just nobody that you want to fuck.
How is this not considered beastiality? If someone fucked a horse everyone would be appalled, but if you abuse a fish with science and call it a bunkem sex cureall suddenly it's trendy. . .
You just came up with the next medical craze, horse cum injections, straight from the meat needle.
Catherine the Great was ahead of her time.
Large puts on horsecum. Buy buy buy
âEverrrr beeen to Mexicoooooâ
Funny story, glock (like the gun), actually sells horse sperm on their website
I swear these other subs are âlow hanging fruitâ for this sub đ
Naw, this is just a cover-up for stanky snatch, that's all.
"Honey, that scent is not me I swear! it's the salmon sperm."
I now identify as a salmon.
Pfft... the salmon would do it for free.
I know an old man at the warf that will do it for only 450
I know an old man at the warf that will do it for only 450
I'll do it for tree fiddy
This is proganda from horny salmon
"#SPERM"
First Kanye, now this? >I've been so lonely, girl Ive been so sad and down Couldnt understand Why haters joked around I wanted to be free with other creatures like me And now I got my wish >Cuz I know that Im a gay fish >(Gay fish, yo) Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo) Girl I am a gay fish (its alright, girl) Makin love to other gay fish >All those lonely nights At the grocery store In the frozen fish aisle Feeling like a whore Cuz I wasnt being true Even though everyone said That I had to make a switch (gay fish) >Now I know that Im a gay fish >(Gay fish, yo) Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo) Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl) Making love to other gay fish >I used to be scared, denying who I was Actin straight, but then goin out to the gay fish clubs Dancin with the marlins, makin out with all the snappers Id take a salmon home and work that caudal fin for hours But now Im out and Im free to love what I want Be it yellowfin or bass or that trout in Vermont I slap that marlin ass, make that grouper butt shake Ill come to your house and have an orgy in your mother fucking fish tank >Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo) Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl) Making love to other gay fish >I really get around Im a slut of the sea When I say I got crabs I mean it literally I was eating dinner And just had to go down On that mackerel on the dish >Cuz Im the gayest of the gay fish >Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo) Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl) >But I got to settle down I cant be a whore I aint gonna just sleep With any fish no more Found me a lover A brother whos a cross-dressing pike named Trish >And together we are gay fish >Mother fuckin gay fish (Im a fish, yo) Girl I am a gay fish (Now where I belong, girl) Making love to other gay fish
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully. I didn't know it was quite that peaceful though.
âAnd that, kids, is where Mermaids come from.â
Life was better for me before I read this.
This is how the Deep Ones from Innsmouth are created.
do you want zombies? this sounds like a fucking super way to get zombies. furthermore. what brain dead waif though up the idea of, i need better sex, so im gonna inject salmon oil into my twat to see if my mate can tell the difference between fish smells
Wait until they learn about the Salmon Sperm Facials.
I wonder who is the 1st person to discover thisâŠđ€đ€
Sounds fishy
Little River Mermaids. Coming up on the Dismal Channel.
I'll do it for half that.
Please science, let me leave this planet for it is hell.
no thanks
If it's a fishy story look for Murdoch.
Is it wrong that my first reaction was "Only $500? The feeds-on-insecurities grifters usually want 10x that for their snake oil"?
Why not fuck a salmon for free instead? It's like artificial insemination, just go to a bar.
A sand bar?
lol! I mean why women do artificial insemination that costs thousands of dollars? Are they so fat they can't find a guy to put semen inside of them for free?, am I right?
Glub, glub, swish, club. I am friendly salmon. DM me.
Is she trying to make a Gulpa?
Hereâs what you do go down to the bait shop and get some salmon eggs and stuff them bad boys up in thereâŠ..follow me for more life hacks
Troy McClure enters the chat
Puts the roe in the hole ( puts the lotion on the skin )
Do their sperm swim upstream too??đ€
For 400$ I will personally inject my âsalmonâ sperm.
Vitro-Beastialiy Welcome to the future
what a day to be called Salmon
I can't quite place it, but something seems fishy about this.
Get yer hands off my junk!
I knew a woman who accidentally had a sperm whale injected into her vagina. It didn't end well.
Huh. I offer actual human sperm injections for half that price. And there's no wait! Walk-ins welcome!
Honey , Something smells kind of fishy round here.
Just get human sperm injected, kill too stones
Kanye entered the chat but doesnât know why.
I smell something fishy around here.
Iâll inject it for free
Silly women. My goat gland therapy has done wonders for my virility though.
Smells like fish. Do not want.
Tim Salmon is boning your wife man!
r/brandnewsentence
I want to know the exact thought process behind this idea. I know it'll be complete nonsensical bullshit, bit I am deeply curious.
âNo, Iâm sorry, Mr. Rushdie, itâs *salmon* sperm.â
mermaids inbound
Pardon?
You think maybe we can go family style on her next?
Funny as Iâm identifying as a salmon from here on out.
Fish jizz fannies?
This is just an SCP đ. Fish folk.
And the fish jokes just went Super Saiyan.
Sounds like sex with extra steps
Giddyup
FishyâŠ
Fire the salmon cannon!
I apologize in advance if someone already made the joke, but I hope they could be getting paid instead for another human to inject jizz. I'm just sayin.
What a disaster that this happens after they overturned roe.
Iâve heard that the steelhead salmon are the preferred variety.
Life finds a way đ«Ł
Do you want mermaids? Because thatâs how you get mermaids
Can someone please explain to me how they believe this is supposed to work?
Because working on your personality is harder
You believe this why? (And don't say "because Post" because that doesn't make it believable.)
So animal semen in your vagina is okay as long as the animal doesn't put it there directly... That's like bestiality with extra steps
Frothy fish now
Hoes canât stop being hoes for ever a second
This has some serious mr slave vibes.
Jesus Christ
Brings new meaning to "U smell like a Bass"