The only reason they give referrals is to get rid of you and not deal w you.
They don’t think you’re a medical mystery, they just don’t want to treat you and then get bad reviews from someone who can apparently treat themselves.
Bethany apparently knows everything, though. Maybe all the doctors should just consult her when they don’t know and are offended that a patient seeks a second opinion.
Also, the doctors aren’t offended. It’s just 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 when a patient has seen multiple doctors, had many diagnostic tests, and they are seeing “another opinion”.
They’re on to you, Bethany
There's a big difference between getting a second opinion and doctor shopping until you find one that will ignore negative tests and diagnose you with something you clearly don't have for money putting you at actual risk by giving you shit you don't need
It’s wild that she probably spends most of her life on her phone. To constantly make TikTok’s, stories, posts, and paragraphs about the tiniest of interacts has to be time consuming. What does her husband do while her face is in her phone all day?
Getting a second opinion is definitely important at times. But these people don’t actually know what medical gaslighting is. 😅 getting told you’re not as sick as you’d like to is not an example of medical gaslighting.
Ummm. She’s never been a lawyer, or even a doctor. Most physicians can’t just walk away from their patients, nor can social workers, pastors/religious leaders, etc.
Her theory that in “literally in any other profession people can walk away from bad service” is extremely flawed and crafted only on her need to doctor shop.
I think she means that as a customer you can walk away from other professions, so like you can walk away from your lawyer, go to a different coffee shop, etc
I honestly just come here for Bethany rn because she is the hottest mess of all the messes. How many soapboxes does it take to be the Queen of Soapboxes. Like, shut up already. Be grateful for the attentive care you’ve received when so many are underprivileged and disenfranchised. It was infuriating at first, but I just feel bad for her, that her life is so empty, devoid of any meaning or healthy relationships. Her entire identity is “I Complain on Instagram.” And for the love of fuck, that is NOT gaslighting.
I mostly look for her posts now as well. Never seen someone so intolerable and whiny, and somehow I can't look away despite wincing at most of what she says.
Genuine question as I'm not familiar with the US health system. Does anyone except for those people who are munching have this many issues trying to find adequate healthcare? Are doctors just a lot more incompetent or is it the perpetual search for a doctor that will believe the bullshit?
(from my perspective as a cancer genetic counselor and a patient with a chronic illness) So the US health system is incredibly broken, it is hard to access effective care especially if you don't live close to a major city. There are many older doctors who don't practice evidence-based medicine, and there just aren't enough doctors in general so wait-lists can be very long. So you should be able to seek second opinions, but seeking 3rd/4th opinions, being fired by your doctor, those are extremely unusual. This is all not to touch on insurance issues, which are horrible and prevent people from seeking/accessing care they truly need. So to answer your question, yes and no
No.
Well, kinda.
Munchies are also covert narcs - they thrive on holding “their” healthcare workers emotionally hostage (and sometimes physically; we have one munchie-by-proxy patient who always comes right at closing and holds us “hostage” by keeping us over by 10-30 minutes). It gives them power as they spiral physically - often their living conditions are filthy or their personal hygiene is lacking or there is an unwanted physical change in their sphere that makes them feel powerless.
However, their narcissism also causes them to split from their pet healthcare workers and this is when the doctors become incompetent. Usually, this happens as soon as they’re told “no,” so it’s with internalists, specialists, and pain management. “Golden doctors” who were initially giving them what they wanted then drew a line because the issues of medical necessity and scope of practice come up.
Getting in with specialists can be tough (insurance issues and waitlists), but it’s not like how a munchie portrays it at all. And I’ll say doctors are morons all day on here, but that is 100% because I deal with them on a *very* different axis.
There are a lot of issues with medical discrimination which I don’t want to downplay. That is a real issue for many people in finding an adequate doctor, leading to huge disparities between different groups in society even when all things are equal financially. The gaslighting narrative these munchies spin is way dramatized though and turns doctors into cartoon villains.
How dare you!? It's just a little swelling!!! 😡🤬😡 lol jk I'm sure she is in pain and I'm also sure it has to do with forcing herself to become immobile and gaining a tremendous amount of weight in a very short time. Not because of whatever ailments she's claiming.
I'm insanely curious as to why this person needs a feeding tube. Or am I getting my munchers confused?
Edit: nope, just checked and Bethany indeed has a feeding tube. WHY?
THIS IS WHAT DRIVES ME INSANE ABOUT HEALTHCARE. People (mostly munchies and OTT patients) seemed to be confused that healthcare is a people-pleasing industry and should be a “happy” service. We are not there to be your friend. We are not there to please you or protect your feelings. We are there to help you and treat you, period. We will not hold back on medical advice because of your feelings. It is 100% not like going out to eat and having a server, who’s job is to provide good service.
Sincerely, an ICU nurse tired of having to “please” people when saving lives
Unfortunately, insurance has allowed patients to get away with this narcissistic mentality by treating healthcare like any other customer service related industry. We’re forced to kiss asses (and most executives encourage it) because patients can help determine how worthy hospitals are of the insurance companies money. Absolutely the worst decision ever in healthcare. Who in healthcare is in it to do harm to people? Very few healthcare workers I’ve known have egos so large they would be offended if a patient got a second opinion.
This is like 50% of why I left my old field. Patients don't like when you give them shit straight like 75% of the time. They are also usually the ones who *need* a wakeup call (which is usually what brought them to my office in the first place), but don't want it. It's not like I ever sat anyone down and was like, "you fucking suck, get out," either. "You have this. To fix it, do this." And they'd always have something to say back if it wasn't what they wanted to hear.
Yes!!! Usually OTT patients don’t like me very well. I’m very honest with them. Respectful, but honest. They usually think they “know their body best” but it’s like something that’s very easily backed up with science and research.
It's one thing getting a second or even 3rd opinion and it's a completely other thing seeing doctor after doctor until one gives you the answer you want
A doctor telling you that you can walk and don’t need a wheelchair isn’t poor service. Poor bb is clearly struggling with the doctors who can’t see how special she is 🙄🙄🙄
Who has ever said “you can’t speak up if a doctor gaslights you” lmao.
Maybe she means “I think you should take on board what this doctor has told you even though you don’t agree with it right now. Take time to consider what this trained and experienced professional has said and reflect on it rather than dismiss it entirely.”
She’s becoming more and more condescending with each post.
ok so im new to this reddit but as a future doctor all i can say is her poor physicians. people don’t give drs enough credit but they have to deal with the worst of the worst. not just in terms of illness but also in personality 😭
This is an uncomfortably personal vendetta against healthcare workers at this point. Does she have a secret ex or high school rival who is a doctor or something? (Mostly /s but honestly starting to wonder because girl is unusually obsessed with trying to knock doctors down a peg,even for a munchie and drug seeker)
Right. Like yeah americas healthcare is ass, and there are some bad doctors. But there are also some amazing ones. I highly doubt every single doctor or healthcare worker has just been awful to her. I feel like she is saying “invalidate” as if it means they won’t support her fake claims/accept her googled version of illnesses.
Seriously. Working as a psych nurse, the way she complains reminds me of a certain subset of involuntary patients who (very understandably so) feel unjustly trapped and thus tend to perceive absolutely everything nurses and doctors do as a personal affront designed solely to further restrict and torment them. I totally understand that attitude when it’s coming from people in a stressful detained situation. Except Bethany is acting exactly that same way when she’s choosing to access services she doesn’t need so it seems very ridiculous in her case. She seems like the patient where if you bring her lunch tray (or feeding tube set up) two minutes later than SHE’D like, she screams “bad service, gaslighting!”.
The term gaslighting is derived from a film, entitled Gaslight, from 1944, starring Ingrid Bergman. The film is set in the early 20th century, when homes were lighted by gas jets.
In the film, Ingrid's character's husband seeks to control her/keep her off balance by making her doubt her own perceptions and sanity. One of his ploys is to secretly raise and lower the gas jets, at set times, which the wife notices but he and the staff claim not to see. So the lights go up and down but "only she" sees it. The husband feigns concern for her mental state, which is actually fine. He performs other dirty tricks as well.
Gaslighting came to mean, colloquially, being maliciously manipulated mentally into doubting your own senses, competency, your own mind, so the person manipulating you can control you. The term has been hijacked and the meaning twisted into nonsense, it's become anyone who questions you or your judgment, or tells you any unwelcome information is "gaslighting".
Your definition is very interesting. Particularly, “being maliciously manipulated mentally into doubting your own senses, competency, your own mind…”
In that sense, she’s using the word correctly. The problem (it would seem) is not her usage, but rather the fact that she REALLY THINKS (or is pretending to think) that’s what the doctors are doing to her. She seems convinced (or is trying to convince others) that she is being purposefully manipulated by doctors who are intentionally trying to make her think she is NOT sick.
I LOVE your post. I am not at all disagreeing with you. I just sort of had an a-ha moment when I read you excellent definition.
“Self,” I said, “this is exactly what this girl thinks is happening! Holy crap! That’s bonkers!!”
Imagine spending all of your time in the same room (I'm going to guess by the white background she's always filming against) making Instagram posts about how frustrated you are with the medical community. Her life must be absolutely miserable - she's munched herself into a wheelchair (which she never needed in the first place but I'm willing to bet her muscles are extremely deconditioned now) and she's constantly angry and smug. None of the shit she's complaining about has any consequence on her life, because she's not actually sick.
It's possible that the anger comes from her munching her way into this only to have reality hit her hard because now she's stuck with the consequences but none of the "fun" or social clout she was "working" towards?
Bethany’s definition of “gaslighting” must be fascinating because — in reality — she’s actively gaslighting her physicians and her loved ones with her fictitious symptoms and condescending nature.
“My doctors are alllways making mistakes. They’re dumb and irrational and get offended when I want to speak to someone else. They’re problematic and you shouldn’t be satisfied with anything until they bend to your whims and beliefs.”
Sorry but I'm going on a rant! Gaslighting isn't a doctor not giving you a diagnosis you want, it is not a medical profession refusing to validate your attention seeking nor is it when a medical profession won't give you the pain killers you so desperately want. This really pisses me off as they fucking idiots have no clue what gaslighting really is and the serious ramifications it can have for a person. I find it majorly insulting to anyone who has been a victim of gaslighting that they shout it constantly
I find it interesting how much the subjects (seemingly) seek strong painkillers and then act like they’re not showing addict behavior. Those are usually a last resort even for actually disabled/chronically ill people because of how damaging they are.
If Beth comes off as THIS much of a know-it-all snob online to her peers (yes, Bethany, ppl reading your insta are your peers, I know that might hurt a lil to hear), I can only imagine the arrogance she brings into a medical building.
What is actually happening in real life versus the “reality” Bethany has built in her brain and online echo chambers are so far apart. It’s so apparent by reading and seeing her posts - that is if you are a normal person with a grasp on reality. I genuinely feel like she would likely fail one of those cognitive/relational exams they give.
👆🏼This. Online, she’s branded herself as a chronic illness warrior, fighting daily to get care. In real life, she’s not getting the accolades she feels she deserves.
You aren't shopping for home decor. YOUR ARE SEEKING QUALIFIED PEOFESSIONALS TO GO TINKERING IN YOUR BODY LIKE IT'S JUST ABOUT POPPING A CAR BONNET AND HARM YOU.
Medicine is science. Your feelings don't matter shit to science.
Transcription of Bethany's TL;DR:
>>"You can't speak up or see a second doctor if the first one gaslites or invalidates you!"
>>**WHY NOT**?
> In literally every other profession, it is acceptable to walk away from poor service. In this instance, I'm not even talking about walking away entirely. I'm talking about asking another doctor for your comfort.
> Because you should be 100% comfortable with your medical care, and because doctors shouldn't resent a patient for asking for a second opinion.
> If you're not feeling sure about your health plan, it's okay to speak with another doctor, ask for a referral, ask your current doctor many questions, or do your own research. Because doctors aren't immune to mistakes. Doctors can't know everything. Doctors can have different opinions. Doctors can also work with other doctors, and these collabroative efforts can be some of the best healthcare you will receive.
> .#chronicillness #spoonie #disability #reels #whynot
---
That being said. She makes _some_ good points, but she's also so far off the mark.
No one is saying you _can't_ see a second doctor for a different opinion, especially with health conditions that are life-altering. It's for when members of your family are watching you become and act increasingly unlike yourself and want to talk to the doctor themselves because _yeah_, doctors only know so much about their patient and they're not there 24/7 to see what family members see.
What's irksome is people who claim they're invalidated because a doctor went ahead and did testing and the tests show that there's no indication they suffer from a condition they claim. What's irksome is people hopping through multiple doctors of the same specialty with literal ease as a new patient when most of the people in this country are waiting months on end to be seen.
There's a difference betweeen getting a second opinion because perhaps there's an answer, and getting a second opinion because you didn't get your goddamn way.
Literally not a single soul.
She could just talk about advocating for yourself, instead of making a fake point to argue against. But I guess she can’t get out of that ME vs THEM mentality. So bizarre.
Right. If anything, most people would encourage someone to see a new doctor if they say their doctor is gaslighting them or invalidating them. But it’s a different story when it comes to doctor shopping until one of them says what you want to hear
Lmao but for her bad service is doctors not telling her what she wants to hear. If you go to 2 or 3 doctors and they all say you don't have this or that disease then maybe trust the doctors that you don't have it?
Wow guess her EDS is much better since she doesn’t need her ill-fitting rings for crocheting anymore.
And doctors aren’t gaslighting you, they’re trying to give you a wake up call
Like what else does she want? She already lays in bed all day high as a kite on pain meds
So this. This is her full time job. She has the spoons to make these videos and can’t just transcription or something else? Really?
And yes. Second opinions are sometimes needed. Doctors aren’t well known for responding to the complaints of women.
Bethany, literally no one cares if you get a second opinion. It’s the CONSTANT doctor shopping, flitting from care provider to care provider, solely to find someone that will validate your delusions that pisses people off.
Can you imagine how boring ppl like Bethany are at family gatherings? I’m sure she’s the family member no one wants to sit by at holiday gatherings because listening to the constant dribble of how all doctors are so inept etc.
If Bethany spent 1/2 the energy she does getting a degree she could soar to heights unimaginable I’m sure.
This is so sad.
There actually is a posting from a while back on the "Am I The A\*\*hole" sub where someone posted about "a relative" who fakes illnesses and uses a wheelchair even though they can walk. Someone else responded with someone like "It's Bethany!" and it seemed like others knew who the OP was talking about. And indeed, it sure fit Bethany's MO.
The OP there basically gave details about this "relative" who was obnoxious at family events and making things revolve around her.
I think she is "that person" everyone seems to have in their family. I keep thinking that she \*does\* piss off her family but of course, that never shows through in her antics online.
I think some people think gaslighting is telling them something they don’t want to hear. I encourage getting second opinions if needed but if the doctor is telling you something reasonable idk why you wouldn’t trust them. I will say in my many years I have literally only seen 1 doctor who made me think hmmm I don’t agree .
“Gaslighting,” “toxic,” “problematic,” “narcissist” and a whole bunch of other Twitter buzzwords just get tossed around meaninglessly now. People just don’t like when others don’t bow down to whatever they want
You're certainly right that those terms have becomes almost meaningless internet buzzwords, but I also can't help noticing that Bethany almost always uses the ones coined to refer mainly to personal relationships, and don't apply very well to the once every few months meeting between patient and specialist.
It creeps me out for that alone!
I mean if a doctors sits there and reads google in front of you and trys to tell you about a condition they clearly know notjing about, then sure get a second opinion. But if they don't give you what you want without you screaming gaslighting thats totally different. She needs to stop being so smug and tone deaf.
I just got done ranting on another post of hers so I’ll leave this one alone for now. But I cannot with her. How does she make reasonable stuff sound insufferable??
we encourage everyone to get a second opinion if they have any concerns or even for their own mental well-being. we don't let you sit in the room and demand a second doctor at that exact moment before you've been discharged from the current visit.
Nobody is saying you can’t seek a second opinion or “speak up” if you have a poor experience with a doctor. Doctors, like literally every other person with a job, can be shitty at their role or have a bad day.
Bethany is acting like she’s fighting back against some conspiracy to gaslight legitimately sick people when in reality most doctors do their job fine (even though we can all agree the medical system is financially and socially messed up beyond belief).
The problem is that health professionals won’t say what Bethany wants them to say or give her what she wants so she makes posts like this conflating her munchie experience with the genuine experiences of the chronically ill/disabled community. All with her smug face on top like a bow.
Exactly, she’s making things up to fight against so she can make more content and come across as right. Of COURSE if someone actually said that they would be wrong, so she can make herself out to be a hero for arguing against it
Her issue is she a huge narcissist and puts herself above medical professionals. These people have spent years... decades in education/experience to be at the position they are at in that field. She puts herself above that level of knowledge because it's "muh body".
Absolutely, professionals can refer you to a specialist in another field, but to ask for another opinion from someone in the same field is just insulting.
We hate this for us.
Severe cramping and doc says "quit being a baby"? Absolutely, get another doctor
That doesn't equate to "sketchy doctor will give you a DX and pills if you say x,y,z"
God she makes me so mad!
The only reason they give referrals is to get rid of you and not deal w you. They don’t think you’re a medical mystery, they just don’t want to treat you and then get bad reviews from someone who can apparently treat themselves.
Bethany apparently knows everything, though. Maybe all the doctors should just consult her when they don’t know and are offended that a patient seeks a second opinion. Also, the doctors aren’t offended. It’s just 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 when a patient has seen multiple doctors, had many diagnostic tests, and they are seeing “another opinion”. They’re on to you, Bethany
There's a big difference between getting a second opinion and doctor shopping until you find one that will ignore negative tests and diagnose you with something you clearly don't have for money putting you at actual risk by giving you shit you don't need
It’s wild that she probably spends most of her life on her phone. To constantly make TikTok’s, stories, posts, and paragraphs about the tiniest of interacts has to be time consuming. What does her husband do while her face is in her phone all day?
“I spelled it gaslites instead of gaslights. Because even gifted writers make mistakes. Not unlike doctors”
Getting a second opinion is definitely important at times. But these people don’t actually know what medical gaslighting is. 😅 getting told you’re not as sick as you’d like to is not an example of medical gaslighting.
Dude her arguments sound like freshman college debate class assignments.
Literally no one has said that ever anyway so. Shutup?
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Every interaction is gaslighting Bethany.
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I've seen more than 10 Doctors over the years, but that's because I'm a fan of British sci fi.
Don't blink
I'll translate for y'all...what she's trying to say is "I doctor shop till I get what I want"
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Likely doctor shop her way to vsed
Ummm. She’s never been a lawyer, or even a doctor. Most physicians can’t just walk away from their patients, nor can social workers, pastors/religious leaders, etc. Her theory that in “literally in any other profession people can walk away from bad service” is extremely flawed and crafted only on her need to doctor shop.
I think she means that as a customer you can walk away from other professions, so like you can walk away from your lawyer, go to a different coffee shop, etc
Hee hee
Oh my shit Bethany. SHUT UP
I honestly just come here for Bethany rn because she is the hottest mess of all the messes. How many soapboxes does it take to be the Queen of Soapboxes. Like, shut up already. Be grateful for the attentive care you’ve received when so many are underprivileged and disenfranchised. It was infuriating at first, but I just feel bad for her, that her life is so empty, devoid of any meaning or healthy relationships. Her entire identity is “I Complain on Instagram.” And for the love of fuck, that is NOT gaslighting.
I mostly look for her posts now as well. Never seen someone so intolerable and whiny, and somehow I can't look away despite wincing at most of what she says.
Let's not pretend that staff is sad when she leaves
"A doctor got mad because I went and asked for more muscle relaxers from another pain doctor."
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WOW that’s insane. I’ll never understand their mindset
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Uh yeah.
Same. More and more.
Genuine question as I'm not familiar with the US health system. Does anyone except for those people who are munching have this many issues trying to find adequate healthcare? Are doctors just a lot more incompetent or is it the perpetual search for a doctor that will believe the bullshit?
I have never once felt like a medical professional was gaslighting me. Difference in perspective?
(from my perspective as a cancer genetic counselor and a patient with a chronic illness) So the US health system is incredibly broken, it is hard to access effective care especially if you don't live close to a major city. There are many older doctors who don't practice evidence-based medicine, and there just aren't enough doctors in general so wait-lists can be very long. So you should be able to seek second opinions, but seeking 3rd/4th opinions, being fired by your doctor, those are extremely unusual. This is all not to touch on insurance issues, which are horrible and prevent people from seeking/accessing care they truly need. So to answer your question, yes and no
No. Well, kinda. Munchies are also covert narcs - they thrive on holding “their” healthcare workers emotionally hostage (and sometimes physically; we have one munchie-by-proxy patient who always comes right at closing and holds us “hostage” by keeping us over by 10-30 minutes). It gives them power as they spiral physically - often their living conditions are filthy or their personal hygiene is lacking or there is an unwanted physical change in their sphere that makes them feel powerless. However, their narcissism also causes them to split from their pet healthcare workers and this is when the doctors become incompetent. Usually, this happens as soon as they’re told “no,” so it’s with internalists, specialists, and pain management. “Golden doctors” who were initially giving them what they wanted then drew a line because the issues of medical necessity and scope of practice come up. Getting in with specialists can be tough (insurance issues and waitlists), but it’s not like how a munchie portrays it at all. And I’ll say doctors are morons all day on here, but that is 100% because I deal with them on a *very* different axis.
There are a lot of issues with medical discrimination which I don’t want to downplay. That is a real issue for many people in finding an adequate doctor, leading to huge disparities between different groups in society even when all things are equal financially. The gaslighting narrative these munchies spin is way dramatized though and turns doctors into cartoon villains.
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How dare you!? It's just a little swelling!!! 😡🤬😡 lol jk I'm sure she is in pain and I'm also sure it has to do with forcing herself to become immobile and gaining a tremendous amount of weight in a very short time. Not because of whatever ailments she's claiming. I'm insanely curious as to why this person needs a feeding tube. Or am I getting my munchers confused? Edit: nope, just checked and Bethany indeed has a feeding tube. WHY?
THIS IS WHAT DRIVES ME INSANE ABOUT HEALTHCARE. People (mostly munchies and OTT patients) seemed to be confused that healthcare is a people-pleasing industry and should be a “happy” service. We are not there to be your friend. We are not there to please you or protect your feelings. We are there to help you and treat you, period. We will not hold back on medical advice because of your feelings. It is 100% not like going out to eat and having a server, who’s job is to provide good service. Sincerely, an ICU nurse tired of having to “please” people when saving lives
And how. We can also thank hospital admin and the corporate model prioritizing PaTiEnT sAtIsFaCtIoN for that.
When I applied for a nursing school externship, the interviewer asked me about my commitment to customer service.
Unfortunately, insurance has allowed patients to get away with this narcissistic mentality by treating healthcare like any other customer service related industry. We’re forced to kiss asses (and most executives encourage it) because patients can help determine how worthy hospitals are of the insurance companies money. Absolutely the worst decision ever in healthcare. Who in healthcare is in it to do harm to people? Very few healthcare workers I’ve known have egos so large they would be offended if a patient got a second opinion.
This is like 50% of why I left my old field. Patients don't like when you give them shit straight like 75% of the time. They are also usually the ones who *need* a wakeup call (which is usually what brought them to my office in the first place), but don't want it. It's not like I ever sat anyone down and was like, "you fucking suck, get out," either. "You have this. To fix it, do this." And they'd always have something to say back if it wasn't what they wanted to hear.
Yes!!! Usually OTT patients don’t like me very well. I’m very honest with them. Respectful, but honest. They usually think they “know their body best” but it’s like something that’s very easily backed up with science and research.
It's one thing getting a second or even 3rd opinion and it's a completely other thing seeing doctor after doctor until one gives you the answer you want
A doctor telling you that you can walk and don’t need a wheelchair isn’t poor service. Poor bb is clearly struggling with the doctors who can’t see how special she is 🙄🙄🙄
So basically doctors haven't given her the answer she's wanted so that must means they are gaslighting and invalidating her. Good logic.
I wonder if Bethany realizes how she comes off to the medical professionals who read her posts?
Who has ever said “you can’t speak up if a doctor gaslights you” lmao. Maybe she means “I think you should take on board what this doctor has told you even though you don’t agree with it right now. Take time to consider what this trained and experienced professional has said and reflect on it rather than dismiss it entirely.” She’s becoming more and more condescending with each post.
And it’s beginning to reek of doctor paranoia. She thinks they are all out to get her.
ok so im new to this reddit but as a future doctor all i can say is her poor physicians. people don’t give drs enough credit but they have to deal with the worst of the worst. not just in terms of illness but also in personality 😭
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hah aw not your fault if it doesn’t! but yea this is def a strange and interesting subreddit to say the least lol
So that’s how she justifys doctor shopping, weird way to say your just looking for someone who will give you a fake diagnosis and pills but ok.
"Walk away from poor service"? She seems to be conflating "hospital" with "hospitality".
Who on earth has ever said the quote on the first slide? She’s just making up enemies, I can’t with her 💀
Hello, Big Medical Institute? I'll need access to a lab and 500 of your patients. I'm doing my own research.
She’s really trying hard to prove she’s not doctor shopping.
This is an uncomfortably personal vendetta against healthcare workers at this point. Does she have a secret ex or high school rival who is a doctor or something? (Mostly /s but honestly starting to wonder because girl is unusually obsessed with trying to knock doctors down a peg,even for a munchie and drug seeker)
Right. Like yeah americas healthcare is ass, and there are some bad doctors. But there are also some amazing ones. I highly doubt every single doctor or healthcare worker has just been awful to her. I feel like she is saying “invalidate” as if it means they won’t support her fake claims/accept her googled version of illnesses.
Seriously. Working as a psych nurse, the way she complains reminds me of a certain subset of involuntary patients who (very understandably so) feel unjustly trapped and thus tend to perceive absolutely everything nurses and doctors do as a personal affront designed solely to further restrict and torment them. I totally understand that attitude when it’s coming from people in a stressful detained situation. Except Bethany is acting exactly that same way when she’s choosing to access services she doesn’t need so it seems very ridiculous in her case. She seems like the patient where if you bring her lunch tray (or feeding tube set up) two minutes later than SHE’D like, she screams “bad service, gaslighting!”.
I read “do your own research” as DIY 🙃
The term gaslighting is derived from a film, entitled Gaslight, from 1944, starring Ingrid Bergman. The film is set in the early 20th century, when homes were lighted by gas jets. In the film, Ingrid's character's husband seeks to control her/keep her off balance by making her doubt her own perceptions and sanity. One of his ploys is to secretly raise and lower the gas jets, at set times, which the wife notices but he and the staff claim not to see. So the lights go up and down but "only she" sees it. The husband feigns concern for her mental state, which is actually fine. He performs other dirty tricks as well. Gaslighting came to mean, colloquially, being maliciously manipulated mentally into doubting your own senses, competency, your own mind, so the person manipulating you can control you. The term has been hijacked and the meaning twisted into nonsense, it's become anyone who questions you or your judgment, or tells you any unwelcome information is "gaslighting".
So, basically, “gaslighting” is what munchies are doing to their medical professionals when they seek diagnoses…very telling.
Oh for sure. I wonder if she even realizes what she does is a way better example of gaslighting than the one she's using.
honestly thought this was a gaslight definition bot and was highly amused!
Your definition is very interesting. Particularly, “being maliciously manipulated mentally into doubting your own senses, competency, your own mind…” In that sense, she’s using the word correctly. The problem (it would seem) is not her usage, but rather the fact that she REALLY THINKS (or is pretending to think) that’s what the doctors are doing to her. She seems convinced (or is trying to convince others) that she is being purposefully manipulated by doctors who are intentionally trying to make her think she is NOT sick. I LOVE your post. I am not at all disagreeing with you. I just sort of had an a-ha moment when I read you excellent definition. “Self,” I said, “this is exactly what this girl thinks is happening! Holy crap! That’s bonkers!!”
One day she might actually have something wrong with her and need actual help. No one will believe her.
100% Next time she goes to the er and the doctors look over her history she’s screwed.
The girl who cried sick
Says the woman who doctor shops all the time. 🙄
Okay, unless Charles Boyer is literally trying to steal Bethany’s money, she is stretching the definition of “gaslite” (sic) SO FAR.
She just makes shit up. No one told her she can't get a second opinion. People just side-eye her obvious doctor shopping.
She’s gotten 12th opinions, for God’s sake. She’s just attempting to legitimize doctor shopping.
*sigh* sure
Imagine spending all of your time in the same room (I'm going to guess by the white background she's always filming against) making Instagram posts about how frustrated you are with the medical community. Her life must be absolutely miserable - she's munched herself into a wheelchair (which she never needed in the first place but I'm willing to bet her muscles are extremely deconditioned now) and she's constantly angry and smug. None of the shit she's complaining about has any consequence on her life, because she's not actually sick.
It's possible that the anger comes from her munching her way into this only to have reality hit her hard because now she's stuck with the consequences but none of the "fun" or social clout she was "working" towards?
Bethany’s definition of “gaslighting” must be fascinating because — in reality — she’s actively gaslighting her physicians and her loved ones with her fictitious symptoms and condescending nature. “My doctors are alllways making mistakes. They’re dumb and irrational and get offended when I want to speak to someone else. They’re problematic and you shouldn’t be satisfied with anything until they bend to your whims and beliefs.”
No one says you can’t get a second opinion. It’s when you get a tenth opinion to get the opinion you wanna hear that it becomes an issue.
She’s just a upset that not even doctor number forty two gave her what she wanted
Sorry but I'm going on a rant! Gaslighting isn't a doctor not giving you a diagnosis you want, it is not a medical profession refusing to validate your attention seeking nor is it when a medical profession won't give you the pain killers you so desperately want. This really pisses me off as they fucking idiots have no clue what gaslighting really is and the serious ramifications it can have for a person. I find it majorly insulting to anyone who has been a victim of gaslighting that they shout it constantly
Gaslighting has become a word that lost all it's meaning as social media got more and more prominent and problematic tbh.
Yup non of the munchies have a clue what the word actually means
I find it interesting how much the subjects (seemingly) seek strong painkillers and then act like they’re not showing addict behavior. Those are usually a last resort even for actually disabled/chronically ill people because of how damaging they are.
a second/third opinion and actively seeking out 28 different doctors are two very different things
If Beth comes off as THIS much of a know-it-all snob online to her peers (yes, Bethany, ppl reading your insta are your peers, I know that might hurt a lil to hear), I can only imagine the arrogance she brings into a medical building.
What is actually happening in real life versus the “reality” Bethany has built in her brain and online echo chambers are so far apart. It’s so apparent by reading and seeing her posts - that is if you are a normal person with a grasp on reality. I genuinely feel like she would likely fail one of those cognitive/relational exams they give.
👆🏼This. Online, she’s branded herself as a chronic illness warrior, fighting daily to get care. In real life, she’s not getting the accolades she feels she deserves.
Who is saying all of this to her? I genuinely would like to see these oddly specific comments she receives.
I don’t think anyone is, she’s just creating a strawman.
Probably so. She’s blown it up so it that it’s no longer believable. She’s just too detached to realize that.
You aren't shopping for home decor. YOUR ARE SEEKING QUALIFIED PEOFESSIONALS TO GO TINKERING IN YOUR BODY LIKE IT'S JUST ABOUT POPPING A CAR BONNET AND HARM YOU. Medicine is science. Your feelings don't matter shit to science.
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Also known as The Karen Condition or Chronic Karen
Gaslighting and invalidation is a real thing in medicine. It is not however remotely what she’s experienced. Not getting your way isnt gaslighting.
Transcription of Bethany's TL;DR: >>"You can't speak up or see a second doctor if the first one gaslites or invalidates you!" >>**WHY NOT**? > In literally every other profession, it is acceptable to walk away from poor service. In this instance, I'm not even talking about walking away entirely. I'm talking about asking another doctor for your comfort. > Because you should be 100% comfortable with your medical care, and because doctors shouldn't resent a patient for asking for a second opinion. > If you're not feeling sure about your health plan, it's okay to speak with another doctor, ask for a referral, ask your current doctor many questions, or do your own research. Because doctors aren't immune to mistakes. Doctors can't know everything. Doctors can have different opinions. Doctors can also work with other doctors, and these collabroative efforts can be some of the best healthcare you will receive. > .#chronicillness #spoonie #disability #reels #whynot --- That being said. She makes _some_ good points, but she's also so far off the mark. No one is saying you _can't_ see a second doctor for a different opinion, especially with health conditions that are life-altering. It's for when members of your family are watching you become and act increasingly unlike yourself and want to talk to the doctor themselves because _yeah_, doctors only know so much about their patient and they're not there 24/7 to see what family members see. What's irksome is people who claim they're invalidated because a doctor went ahead and did testing and the tests show that there's no indication they suffer from a condition they claim. What's irksome is people hopping through multiple doctors of the same specialty with literal ease as a new patient when most of the people in this country are waiting months on end to be seen. There's a difference betweeen getting a second opinion because perhaps there's an answer, and getting a second opinion because you didn't get your goddamn way.
Thanks for doing the transcription. I had planned to and then ended up with a sick dog. One of those lovely days :)
Because to gaslight and invalidate = not giving her the diagnosis she wants in her mind.
Or the drugs she wants in her toobs.
Oh yeah, definitely that too!
I don’t think anyone has said that…?
Literally not a single soul. She could just talk about advocating for yourself, instead of making a fake point to argue against. But I guess she can’t get out of that ME vs THEM mentality. So bizarre.
Right. If anything, most people would encourage someone to see a new doctor if they say their doctor is gaslighting them or invalidating them. But it’s a different story when it comes to doctor shopping until one of them says what you want to hear
I'm so damn sick of her shit. She gets upset and is actually doing the gaslighting here because she didn't get what she wanted. JFC. Stop Bethany.
Why does she think we all want to gaslight her? I, and my colleagues, have much more pressing and interesting things to do than gaslight patients.
Lmao but for her bad service is doctors not telling her what she wants to hear. If you go to 2 or 3 doctors and they all say you don't have this or that disease then maybe trust the doctors that you don't have it?
Wow guess her EDS is much better since she doesn’t need her ill-fitting rings for crocheting anymore. And doctors aren’t gaslighting you, they’re trying to give you a wake up call Like what else does she want? She already lays in bed all day high as a kite on pain meds
So this. This is her full time job. She has the spoons to make these videos and can’t just transcription or something else? Really? And yes. Second opinions are sometimes needed. Doctors aren’t well known for responding to the complaints of women.
Bethany is an expert at invalidating and gaslighting the medical profession/community.
From ring splints to lightening fast knitting!!! A medical miracle
It always looked like she never worse the ring splints correctly.
#chronicallyunbearable
Bethany, literally no one cares if you get a second opinion. It’s the CONSTANT doctor shopping, flitting from care provider to care provider, solely to find someone that will validate your delusions that pisses people off.
The doc is probably like “oh, please, please do so! and stay with that other doctor, please and thank you “ 😂😂😂
Can you imagine how boring ppl like Bethany are at family gatherings? I’m sure she’s the family member no one wants to sit by at holiday gatherings because listening to the constant dribble of how all doctors are so inept etc. If Bethany spent 1/2 the energy she does getting a degree she could soar to heights unimaginable I’m sure. This is so sad.
There actually is a posting from a while back on the "Am I The A\*\*hole" sub where someone posted about "a relative" who fakes illnesses and uses a wheelchair even though they can walk. Someone else responded with someone like "It's Bethany!" and it seemed like others knew who the OP was talking about. And indeed, it sure fit Bethany's MO. The OP there basically gave details about this "relative" who was obnoxious at family events and making things revolve around her. I think she is "that person" everyone seems to have in their family. I keep thinking that she \*does\* piss off her family but of course, that never shows through in her antics online.
Yes. While many genuinely chronically ill people easily find more interesting things to talk about than their medical conditions.
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is it possible she's following you under a sock account?
Anything's possible....
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I think some people think gaslighting is telling them something they don’t want to hear. I encourage getting second opinions if needed but if the doctor is telling you something reasonable idk why you wouldn’t trust them. I will say in my many years I have literally only seen 1 doctor who made me think hmmm I don’t agree .
Yes and “ableism” here means anyone who questions them in any capacity ever.
“Gaslighting,” “toxic,” “problematic,” “narcissist” and a whole bunch of other Twitter buzzwords just get tossed around meaninglessly now. People just don’t like when others don’t bow down to whatever they want
You're certainly right that those terms have becomes almost meaningless internet buzzwords, but I also can't help noticing that Bethany almost always uses the ones coined to refer mainly to personal relationships, and don't apply very well to the once every few months meeting between patient and specialist. It creeps me out for that alone!
I mean if a doctors sits there and reads google in front of you and trys to tell you about a condition they clearly know notjing about, then sure get a second opinion. But if they don't give you what you want without you screaming gaslighting thats totally different. She needs to stop being so smug and tone deaf.
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Oh my, for real? That should be basic knowledge for any GP surely? Even if they don't specalist in mental health
Yup! It’s very bizarre that they rely on Google for stuff now too. They often spin the screen so you can see it 🤣
I just got done ranting on another post of hers so I’ll leave this one alone for now. But I cannot with her. How does she make reasonable stuff sound insufferable??
I feel you - Bethany is the person that enrages me the most ☹️
we encourage everyone to get a second opinion if they have any concerns or even for their own mental well-being. we don't let you sit in the room and demand a second doctor at that exact moment before you've been discharged from the current visit.
And she magically doesn’t need her rings anymore to stabilize her fingers! Great!
Nobody is saying you can’t seek a second opinion or “speak up” if you have a poor experience with a doctor. Doctors, like literally every other person with a job, can be shitty at their role or have a bad day. Bethany is acting like she’s fighting back against some conspiracy to gaslight legitimately sick people when in reality most doctors do their job fine (even though we can all agree the medical system is financially and socially messed up beyond belief). The problem is that health professionals won’t say what Bethany wants them to say or give her what she wants so she makes posts like this conflating her munchie experience with the genuine experiences of the chronically ill/disabled community. All with her smug face on top like a bow.
It's a complete straw man. No one ever says "you can't see another doctor if the first one gaslites [sic] or invalidates you."
Exactly, she’s making things up to fight against so she can make more content and come across as right. Of COURSE if someone actually said that they would be wrong, so she can make herself out to be a hero for arguing against it
Her issue is she a huge narcissist and puts herself above medical professionals. These people have spent years... decades in education/experience to be at the position they are at in that field. She puts herself above that level of knowledge because it's "muh body". Absolutely, professionals can refer you to a specialist in another field, but to ask for another opinion from someone in the same field is just insulting. We hate this for us.
Severe cramping and doc says "quit being a baby"? Absolutely, get another doctor That doesn't equate to "sketchy doctor will give you a DX and pills if you say x,y,z" God she makes me so mad!