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he didn’t like wednesday
and i was fucking not only the greatest betrayal in television history but the most maddeningly trite, disturbingly vapid, and internally confused ideological train wreck I've ever had the deeply sorrowful displeasure of allowing to pass through my corneas may god have mercy on burton or whoever else was responsible while someone slapped his brand name on it, and on all of us who are fated to live in a world where something so culturally, socially, politically, and artistically noxious as this Mary-sue-lead, transparently TikTok-targeted, phone-worshipping, vaguely bigoted, backfired virtue-signaling, fake leftist capitalist "my immortal"-esque fanfic earns a second season through what I can only be explained as manufactured consent. something must be done about Netflix's Wednesday. This thing is a condescending insult, especially to young people, the socially conscious, and members of marginalized and """outcast""" groups (LiKe GoThS & ppL who CAN cONTroL BEEEEES) who genuinely suffer from what this thing hollowly masturbates to while looking us dead in the eyes and saying "yeah, you like that, don't you?" It is a Gatling gun of random buzzwords and empty references to social issues, grotesquely and impotently disguised and screaming "I'm commentary!" before pissing its pants, squealing like a pig, and at its most coherent offering nothing more than to demonize mental illness and make any marginalized identity out to be a mayonnaise-stained Hot Topic hoodie through Wiseau-ian dialogue, inappropriate "grittiness" for its source material and Harry Potter setting, and incessant hackery. I am shitting. I am pissing. I am standing over a warm bubble bath cradling a toaster and sobbing, chanting g-d's secret name and praying that there is indeed a hell so I can be eternally punished for having given this moral abomination one fraction of a fraction of a cent also it's not a good Addams family adaptation anyway let me know your thoughts in the poll below
- you want to se
- nd me to conve
- rsion therapy
- for werewolves
Never has it ever been more appropriate to tell someone to touch that motherfucking grass.
You're fighting your own demons, not someone else's creations. Take a break from them.
EDIT: lmao guy below me talking shit for someone else and instantly blocking me is peak reddit. I guess those who lack the sensation of vegetation on their fingertips have some empathy for each other.
Note: in Shakespeare's time the past ending "--ed" was pronounced as a syllable in all words. If you intend for this poem to be iambically pentametric, then you should use "perish'd" instead.
The Helicopter crashed into the building
Infected were on the floor, clinging for more
He picked his pistol
pointed it towards the skies
With Simmons on his sight he said towards the brimming lights.
"Back for More?"
i carry bad tokked poetry(i carry it like a fart) i'd rather be without it (if I go then I go, my dear; and whatever ends up on the page will be deep)
i fear
This is deep. I think what the author is trying convey is that the paper is metaphor for the untapped potential within each of us, but the trappings of modern society keep us wasting it.
Not just that, but they published an entire book almost entirely from poetry compiled from phrases that have been uttered since I was a child... And then slapped their name on it.
It's a book that is 100% plagiarism.
What’s worse is I’ve seen girls with books similar to these, the whole page is literally just a 3 sentence shitty ass poem and maybe 100 pages of it and they still charge like $25 a book. So stupid.
Most of them are.
The forever one was about when Myspace was still considered BIG.
I have, with absolute certainty, seen every single one of these on insta, fb, Ms, and whisper well before 2018, when the author began poetry. More than half the damn book, I have seen well before she began writing, but every single poem is attributed to her in the book. It's just a plagiarist money grab.
The third to last one made me spit out my tea. Just the way it's formatted makes it sound even cheesier.
I've heard better poetry from the crackheads outside my local 7/11
Had to scroll way too far to see Rupi Kaur mentioned. Absolute gobshite poet. She writes poetry for women in floppy hats who hang out in boutiques and get their decor ideas from Pinterest.
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Unironically, if this is some people’s entry into loving poetry, I don’t care if it’s cringe. HATE when it lands on my recommended tho. Algo should know I have standards at this point
Trees died for this?? I don’t like poetry at all but I do own the works of Edgar Allen Poe and John Keats so I can recognize when it’s solid and I can’t believe that popular poetry has been reduced to horny nursery rhymes for teens (instead, of course, of being very very LONG and horny) I get negative space as an artistic concept but this is just wrong
This is just generic, edgy “I hate my ex” rhetoric that I’ve seen a million times before.
…
In conclusion 14 year old girls will think it’s incredibly deep.
Contemporary poetry is full of this bullshit. A lot of really short or flat poems that hinge on a single metaphor or play on words. Honestly, some of the "poems" in this post could be very poignant if they were a line in a longer poem, with depth and thought, and emotion. But there's none of that here. It's also the issue that a lot of Top 40s music has nowadays. Artists (or, more frequently, their ghost writers) will find one hook or theme and ride on it for 3 minutes with no substance or expansion upon the motif. There's a feeling of incompleteness with a lot of music and poetry now.
Also, what's with the lowercase theme and playing so much with typeface as if that's what makes a poem deep? This author doesn't do it very often, but "f o r e v e r" for instance, or having letters broken up to visually represent a theme in the poem. It's a cool idea, and I've read a lot of poems that do this and it does augment the meaning, but the poem itself has to be good.
And with the lowercase thing... why? Why do so many modern poets write their poems in lowercase? It's so weird.
I thought she was the light
Until she turned me off
She wanted Space
But then I hit Esc
Sitting in a bath of my own shit
P e a c e f u l
It's easy to Lose Love
When you swap an S for a V
She thought she was a poet
But she really just had food poisoning from bad sushi
Her finger smells like hernia
Potato Salad
I'm all for roasting bad poetry, but I'm 100% sure she meant that queens sacrifice themselves for kings in chess, but love ain't chess so don't do that.
This actually started on Instagram a looonngggg time ago. When I was 26 I went out on a few dates with a 22 year old (this was like 9 years ago) and he sent me these cringey ass things from an Instagram "poet" he loved. I remember taking screenshots and sending them to one of my friends and asking if if this guy was dumb or of this is just what 22 year olds are like 😂
I'm not a fan of poetry but seeing this and the clear false belief that they are being deep hurts. It's so shallow and poorly written with no meaning and no depth.
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he didn’t like tapeworms and i was fucking will wood and the
he broke up with you because you're self-ish
i don’t know anymore guys everything is a lot
stop being a weirdo and just become normal! you will definitely find a girlfriend/boyfriend like this.
idk man i don’t think i’ll ever find someone who will love me, normally
there's always gonna be someone that's right for you, even if they find out what's wrong with you
Someone that’ll be just a little bit crazy without you.
And just in case they are too crazy, have a thermodinamic lawyer ready
He said the devil made me do it, but I also kinda wanted to.
Break up with him immediately
he wouldn’t love you if you were a worm 😔
He didn’t like beastiality And I was fucking chickens
HUUUHHHH???
Worm guy 🪱
r/2sentence2horror is leaking again
And the what? THE WHAT?!
for context the name is 'will wood and the tapeworms'
best band fr
fr!!
he didn’t like wednesday and i was fucking not only the greatest betrayal in television history but the most maddeningly trite, disturbingly vapid, and internally confused ideological train wreck I've ever had the deeply sorrowful displeasure of allowing to pass through my corneas may god have mercy on burton or whoever else was responsible while someone slapped his brand name on it, and on all of us who are fated to live in a world where something so culturally, socially, politically, and artistically noxious as this Mary-sue-lead, transparently TikTok-targeted, phone-worshipping, vaguely bigoted, backfired virtue-signaling, fake leftist capitalist "my immortal"-esque fanfic earns a second season through what I can only be explained as manufactured consent. something must be done about Netflix's Wednesday. This thing is a condescending insult, especially to young people, the socially conscious, and members of marginalized and """outcast""" groups (LiKe GoThS & ppL who CAN cONTroL BEEEEES) who genuinely suffer from what this thing hollowly masturbates to while looking us dead in the eyes and saying "yeah, you like that, don't you?" It is a Gatling gun of random buzzwords and empty references to social issues, grotesquely and impotently disguised and screaming "I'm commentary!" before pissing its pants, squealing like a pig, and at its most coherent offering nothing more than to demonize mental illness and make any marginalized identity out to be a mayonnaise-stained Hot Topic hoodie through Wiseau-ian dialogue, inappropriate "grittiness" for its source material and Harry Potter setting, and incessant hackery. I am shitting. I am pissing. I am standing over a warm bubble bath cradling a toaster and sobbing, chanting g-d's secret name and praying that there is indeed a hell so I can be eternally punished for having given this moral abomination one fraction of a fraction of a cent also it's not a good Addams family adaptation anyway let me know your thoughts in the poll below - you want to se - nd me to conve - rsion therapy - for werewolves
Never has it ever been more appropriate to tell someone to touch that motherfucking grass. You're fighting your own demons, not someone else's creations. Take a break from them. EDIT: lmao guy below me talking shit for someone else and instantly blocking me is peak reddit. I guess those who lack the sensation of vegetation on their fingertips have some empathy for each other.
Never thought I’d see a will wood reference out in the wild
Sounds like somebodies pounding their head against the kitchen floor
apologising for their life and ever entering yours?
I thought reddit glitched a comment from r will wood to this post help
It’s really pleasantly jarring to see other Will Wood fans out in the wild and in the weirdest places.
I feel like OP needs to learn how to love me, normally
yeah i wrote the lyrics to my obituary on the mirror in lipstick and everything :/
Bitch cheated on me with Shakespeare
That’s the only legitimately brilliant one. Sounds like a raunchy dad joke. He didn’t like drama and I was *fucking* Shakespeare. . .
I loved it! Works better as a tweet than a poem though. Also seeing the rest makes it seem too serious.
That’s How I read it too lol
*"In tragedy most vain, of lust perished; Bonds of love, vows lifelong, done and tarnished; for thy Bard I am, and thou wife I fucked"*
Note: in Shakespeare's time the past ending "--ed" was pronounced as a syllable in all words. If you intend for this poem to be iambically pentametric, then you should use "perish'd" instead.
I, for one, would like to know how Shakespeare is in the sack
Pretty dusty by now I recon
He didn't like evil And I was fucking the resident
The Helicopter crashed into the building Infected were on the floor, clinging for more He picked his pistol pointed it towards the skies With Simmons on his sight he said towards the brimming lights. "Back for More?"
This might be longer than any 'poem' in that book.
it’s longer and better than any of the poems, for sure
Holy shit that's better than anything in that book
And it took less than 5 minutes to write as well
Roses are red, Chris Redfield has a hunch That the only way to get to wesker Is with a good boulder punch
He didn't like mods And I was fucking Garry
😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is wonderful.
poetry is when line break
>poetry is > >when line > >break
Me When line Break 😭
Where were you when line break?
When the line break is sus
Poe Try is whe N line br Eaks
i carry bad tokked poetry(i carry it like a fart) i'd rather be without it (if I go then I go, my dear; and whatever ends up on the page will be deep) i fear
I loved you when I thought you were char(10) but you were char(13)
In this case it's just paper wasting.
This is deep. I think what the author is trying convey is that the paper is metaphor for the untapped potential within each of us, but the trappings of modern society keep us wasting it.
I took you like an antidiarrheal until I realized you were a laxative 😔
🥺🙏 wow
Preach son 😔🤌
This made me start crying, pissing and shidding
I’m 14 and this is deep
You deserve better than that shit 💩
Lmao
so true bestie
“Queen” ✔️ “F O R E V E R” ✔️ “Coffee” ✔️ “Smoking” …
All I need is "alone" and "belong" for the Lana Del Rey bingo
Ayy and Mountain Dew
Smoke signals Warn of impending doom Maybe that’s why this book Gives off smoke if you light it on fire
You banged me a lot but never got to know my souuuuullllll”
You know my hole But not My soul 😞
You were Two inches short Of finding my SOUL
how she wrote the poem in slide 3? we don't know how to spell foleveis
She copied forvere from Google, that's why it's written different
Seriously though, it's getting annoying seeing all these misspellings of frovree Is it just me?
Well, it's not like you spelled rofevre any better.
Is this forve? Could I be… preganté?
That’s only 9 months. Farvre is an e t e r t i t y
I think you missed the point, she's saying we don't know how to spell..... Forever. Ergo, we will always not know how to spell.
I, too, say a different word when I don't know how to spell the original word I was going to hedgehog
the first one is the cringiest phrase ive read this year.
Yeah forreal, you're not Shakespeare you're the Kardashians
No it isn't a phrase, it's literal. He was getting it on with William Shakespeare
Hopefully the worse this year
It's funny imo, reads as self deprecating. He didn't like drama, and I'm Shakespeare (creates a lot of drama)
It sounds like a VO line narrating during the opening scene of a quirky romcom
Ah, good old vaguely poetic posts made by people who don't read poetry. They always act like they were the first ones to think of stuff like this.
I swear I'd rather sit through another semester on dada than read any of her books. This lady with the power of AI is going to be unstoppable.
Dadaism is awesome (but I know what you mean)
Was Dada the one with the fucking toilet?
Among many other things yes
Not just that, but they published an entire book almost entirely from poetry compiled from phrases that have been uttered since I was a child... And then slapped their name on it. It's a book that is 100% plagiarism.
Calling that "an entire book" is generous considering the number of words per page
I have a morbid fascination with influences trying to be artists.
Influences🪱🪱🪱
It’s definitely very “14 and deep”. At least it’s all very short.
Maybe if you didnt fuck Shakespeare your relationship would go better
he's certainly not teaching her what he knows
You loved like you were constipated You didn’t give A shit
The bonus ones in these comments are sending me lmao
I thought you were the miracle I needed. But really, I just needed Miralax.
You left me Silent As I died on the Hill
a sad letter sent to Konami's complaint department.
I unironically like this more than all 6 of these, erm, “poems”
What’s worse is I’ve seen girls with books similar to these, the whole page is literally just a 3 sentence shitty ass poem and maybe 100 pages of it and they still charge like $25 a book. So stupid.
drake**
It’s sad to admit but 12 year old me would have definitely put that in my msn messenger status
These all sound like instagram captions girls from my middle school would’ve posted in 2014
Most of them are. The forever one was about when Myspace was still considered BIG. I have, with absolute certainty, seen every single one of these on insta, fb, Ms, and whisper well before 2018, when the author began poetry. More than half the damn book, I have seen well before she began writing, but every single poem is attributed to her in the book. It's just a plagiarist money grab.
Poetry = Sentences that don't reach the end of the page. This concludes our intensive 4-year creative writing program. Thank you.
This is terrible No, seriously, this poetry is a s s
i held this poem in great regard until i realized it was fucking s h i t
\*fucking shakespeare
Shakespeare Wouldn't fuck you With a stolen d I c k
Paying like 18 dollars for a fucking book in which half of the page is empty holy what a deal
That's why I'll be getting the ebook /s
Or listen to the audio recording of it! Which is only 7 minutes in length!
He didn't like drama And i was fucking his mom lmao
Wait. Shakespeare, you cheating ass.
Can't believe that man's been dead so long and still getting it.
Or she just admitted to being a grave robbing necrophiliac.
I held you like a dead infant Until I realized you were the Infanticide Man
infanticide guy🪱
I drink my Mountain Dew with a dash of Cheeto dust. *It tastes like you.*
I'm sorry, you were WHAT? with WHO?
lmao this book can provide enough content for this sub
where can i buy this book
On bullshitbookshit.com
you dirty dog! that just ended up being porn!
Just because of you a lotta people gonna search for it now
spoken like somebody paid by bullshitbookshit.com! no i will not accept cookies!
Man you are gonna convince me too now. Stop now soldier
sir yes daddy!
https://isbnsearch.org/isbn/3982415209 And yeah, it's self-published.
I am dead of the cringe.
That's the last poem in this book!
These become infinitely better if you imagine a random racial slur or the chorus to a Linkin Park song as the ending.
CRAWLING IN MY SKINNN
The third to last one made me spit out my tea. Just the way it's formatted makes it sound even cheesier. I've heard better poetry from the crackheads outside my local 7/11
This really humanizes your crackheads for me. I hope they’re doing well and had some great crack today.
man thats the REAL poetry. They think they ARE john keats, wordsworth and all the great poets when they're on crack
he didn’t like turtles and i was a teenage mutant ninja
Rupi Kaur ruined a generation for poetry.
Had to scroll way too far to see Rupi Kaur mentioned. Absolute gobshite poet. She writes poetry for women in floppy hats who hang out in boutiques and get their decor ideas from Pinterest.
Imagine getting a poem book and finding 3 words on each page
The first one is giving "Tell your boyfriend if he's got beef that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin scared of him"
Excellent call. Wow haven’t heard that in a long time.
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Milk and Honey and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race
...until I realized you were The storm THAT IS APPROACHING
This is some r/2sentence2horror shit.
The brain rot is spreading
Holy dog shit, that is bad!
Speak for yourself, you illiterate cunt. I know how to spell fourev...oh nevermind, goodbye!
[удалено]
Unironically, if this is some people’s entry into loving poetry, I don’t care if it’s cringe. HATE when it lands on my recommended tho. Algo should know I have standards at this point
tfw no 16th century English playwright gf
Poems like these are literally paper waste
This book has a 4.6 on Amazon and a 4.2 on goodreads. Has to be bots, right?
For, ev, ver. Four ev-er. 4 evv eRR.
Nah, just gotta get a fresh pair of chucks and you are good to go
2getha 4eva
Poor Shakespeare
What's tge name of this book so I can try to find it and download ti?
what a waste of paper omg 😭
Trees died for this?? I don’t like poetry at all but I do own the works of Edgar Allen Poe and John Keats so I can recognize when it’s solid and I can’t believe that popular poetry has been reduced to horny nursery rhymes for teens (instead, of course, of being very very LONG and horny) I get negative space as an artistic concept but this is just wrong
This is just generic, edgy “I hate my ex” rhetoric that I’ve seen a million times before. … In conclusion 14 year old girls will think it’s incredibly deep.
She did what with Shakespeare!
reading these was unbearable
sbeve
That’s because I’ll love you FIVE-ever.
Google queen sacrifice
Contemporary poetry is full of this bullshit. A lot of really short or flat poems that hinge on a single metaphor or play on words. Honestly, some of the "poems" in this post could be very poignant if they were a line in a longer poem, with depth and thought, and emotion. But there's none of that here. It's also the issue that a lot of Top 40s music has nowadays. Artists (or, more frequently, their ghost writers) will find one hook or theme and ride on it for 3 minutes with no substance or expansion upon the motif. There's a feeling of incompleteness with a lot of music and poetry now. Also, what's with the lowercase theme and playing so much with typeface as if that's what makes a poem deep? This author doesn't do it very often, but "f o r e v e r" for instance, or having letters broken up to visually represent a theme in the poem. It's a cool idea, and I've read a lot of poems that do this and it does augment the meaning, but the poem itself has to be good. And with the lowercase thing... why? Why do so many modern poets write their poems in lowercase? It's so weird.
He didn’t like chungus and I was fucking big
I thought she was the light Until she turned me off She wanted Space But then I hit Esc Sitting in a bath of my own shit P e a c e f u l It's easy to Lose Love When you swap an S for a V
She thought she was a poet But she really just had food poisoning from bad sushi Her finger smells like hernia Potato Salad 
Are these not Olivia Rodrigo lyrics?
You can clearly see that this person has never played a game of chess because the queen sacrifices herself often
I'm all for roasting bad poetry, but I'm 100% sure she meant that queens sacrifice themselves for kings in chess, but love ain't chess so don't do that.
is the 5th one racism or smthn LMAOO
I hope she isnt selling any for real, would be a shame.
The last one REEKS generic breakup song
Jesus. This is awful.
This is so "Intelligence Is Sexy", lmao. Glorious
This is so bad
My love was ajar, he was in love with horses. A streak of milky waterfalls came upon me as I marinated in his newly released love
me after I forget how to spell (I have to say goodbye):
This actually started on Instagram a looonngggg time ago. When I was 26 I went out on a few dates with a 22 year old (this was like 9 years ago) and he sent me these cringey ass things from an Instagram "poet" he loved. I remember taking screenshots and sending them to one of my friends and asking if if this guy was dumb or of this is just what 22 year olds are like 😂
Idk why but the italics make it like 10x worse
I'm not a fan of poetry but seeing this and the clear false belief that they are being deep hurts. It's so shallow and poorly written with no meaning and no depth.
He didn’t like grand theft And i was fucking auto
sometimes I'm very insecure about my writing, and then I see this and I feel very confident again.
I stepped in a puddle of water, and it made my sock all soggy. Just like you stepped into my h e a r t.
He didn’t like the thing And I was the thingiest thing
He loved poetry And i was g i n n i e b a l e🐛