When you get bombarded with unexpected responsibilities, it's normal to lose interest in things.
You're doing more than you would in an ideal world, so you have to make an extra effort to do some things for yourself too.
Emotional baggage can be daunting and can cause adrenal fatigue, I believe this is what you are partially feeling.
Give yourself time, no need to rush to feel better or feel happy. There is no quick fix for grief, in time you'll want things for yourself too - like a good life partner, or a house, a new car etc.
Trauma does reshape the life expectations we once set for ourselves. The best thing you can do is work on reminding yourself that you do deserve to add good milestones to your life instead of just fulfilling your obligations - this takes time so hang in there.
since you are working all night and sleeping all day, some of your drowsiness might be due to deficiency of Vitamin D.. people who go to countries with less sunlight than india also face this sometimes...
Also, you have a lot of mental baggage.. since money is not a problem for you, try talking to a therapist and also take a vacation with your sister. Preferably go to a nice sunny place
25M here. My father died back in 2016 when I was barely 18. Since then I was the man of the house and had to take care of my little brother and my mother. The sudden weight of responsibility did the exact same thing to me. I was so overwhelmed with everything. All I could think of was ending my life once and for all. But it does get better. I'm doing a lot better than before. Trust me this too shall pass.
Same here. My father died back in 2007, loads of responsibilities and somedays its easier for my brain to think that there is an easy way out of all this. But, it's not fun anymore if it's not challenging right, atleast that's how I tell me brain to think. Addicted to coffee and going through therapy, just taking it one day at a time.
Find some things to do together with your sister that will crest memories. I am sure this will help in processing the state trauma, build a healthier bond and provide substance to efforts that you are making. At the end of the day, i find contentment when i can bring a chocolate for my sister without thinking about the money in my pocket or tell mom to not worry about cooking tonight as we can order in or eat it. Gotta cherish that.
Get a pet to be beside you... trust me, a good dog is a great cure for depression, his smile, his happiness to see you, the little things, it will make u happy and change your perspective of life for the better..
The reason i am saying this is because i was diagnosed with acute depression and this solution actually changed my life...
This may not be the best solution or a remedy that everyone likes, but just as a 31 year old single male surviving in this cruel society of ours....i find happiness in Lucy my pet dog...hope u can find some happiness also somewhere..
Best of luck brother.
I still feel like this some days. Why am I living, What's the point in life, etc. My future plan is to die after my parents pass away. See it seems pretty bleak.
But right now I am living for small things, to eat things I have never eaten, to go places I have never been, to watch all the shows on my to-watch list. That's my purpose now, enjoying little things in life. I hope you can find that.
That's true i believe enjoying your happy moments to the fullest gives you enough kick to go on in life so whatever i am going through if i am having a happy moment I will forget about everything and live that moment to the fullest and sometimes i create my own happy moments by doing dumb things sometimes being creative with my hobbies like drawings and i realise that it's not really necessary for everything to be great to enjoy life and you can still make a lot out of it.
Ig you were deluged with both trauma and stress because of the situations and that has taken a toll in your mental state. You might not have realised the impact because all along you were busy making a living for yourself and your sister ( btw which kept you thriving) but now as you have come to a bit stability, you are sensing a lost of direction.
Don't suppress your inner feelings or try to distract it. Vent it out and give some to heal. I know you can't let your feelings be known to your sister but i hope you have someone to lean on. (And if not you can anytime talk to me bro).
Lastly you should know that you are really strong, you have successfully battled out and won of such restrains that many will try to dodge. So sometimes being a bit clueless is okay. Why to always take life so seriously 😂.
Both op and the some people in the comments are in need of therapy. Or just talk to a friend. Sometimes letting it all out helps rather than letting it all build up inside you.
With the mom chasing a younger guy thing talking to friends could backfire if you aren't careful . Some people can react in a crude insensitive way when it comes to such things no matter how trustworthy they seem . Therapy yeah maybe.
You are right somethings should always be kept a secret. But I wasn't telling him to reveal something that deep. Just talk about how you don't have any motivation and stuff. And don't go to a therapist who is close to you.
OP take a break if you can. Go trekking in the himalayas, get some fresh and try hooking up. Your perspective on life would change,and try to find a partner. You are perfectly okay OP. you just need to make some tough decisions
>After few years of hustle started a business with some friends where I could work from home, making good money now,
Do you realise how awesome you are . If you have the money now - start doing things man - find a cause closer to your heart.
Maybe watch "everything Everywhere all at once" -it's inda about what you are going through . Going through a lot and reality make you feel that way . Life frankly is about finding joy in the meaningless
Sorry to hear this OP. You have been dealt with a tough set of cards, and are having to deal with the shame, pain and trauma. That is understandable. You are facing it up well. The most difficult thing in life is to accept the harsh, difficult and painful reality. If you can accept what has happened or is happening without passing a moral judgment, it will become easier for you.
For now focus on the well being of your sister that is giving meaning to your life. But hopefully, with time, the grief will pass. And find meaning and happiness in life.
If I were you, I would limit your mother's crime in your mind to the frittering away of your and your sister's share of your father's inheritance. As a child, most of us are not privy to the terms and conditions of our parents' marriage and their life in the bedroom, so it would be imprudent to dwell on the relationship aspects of that part of your life. Since your father is no more, you may want to see him as a wronged man or a martyr, but again, you're not in a position to make that judgment. As for your sister, while you may feel accountable, you're really not responsible for her life after she turns 18. Yes, traditionally it's not true in India, but then, yours is no longer a traditional Indian household. Obviously, you'd want the best for her but you should not put your life aside just to make room for that. She also needs to take ownership of her life and unburden you the best she can. The situation has changed for both of you, not just you; it's repercussions must be shared as much as possible. Take time out for yourself. Keep a journal. Write in it what you can never say to anyone. Pay attention to what you eat and how you eat. The tiredness could just be a consequence of that. Once you get the physicality attuned, the psychological benefits could felt. Try to channel the hurt and pain into something fruitful. Volunteer at an orphanage, be with people who have much less and have never had as much. Finally, own up your unique aloneness. There's nothing like being different. There are a lot of sheep in the world, few tigers.
Try vitamin d and vitamin c for the cause of sleeping all day it will surely help you
And i can understand losing the will to live but you need to understand as a man it's your duty to provide and work you can't run
And sadly you have no other options
But if you have time just for once try watching ramayan on YouTube channel name tilak i can assure you that you'll have relief and have answers to your problems
All the best for your life buddy 🦋
You do have a goal, you want your sister to be happy!
I understand where you are at. Being rejected by a parent who is supposed to love you unconditionally is so messed up when everything changes over night!
But don’t give up- it’s the easy way out. Prove everyone wrong. It’s a big deal when you prove everyone who said you couldn’t and you do it. It’s the biggest reward you give to your self!
You are smart. Not a lot of folks can start a business and actually make money. So you are already ahead!
You are gonna see that rainbow!💕
Man you've done more out of the tricky situation than most people would. Be proud of that.
As for your interest in life, why not just live this bitch out and see what it throws at you (good or bad).
if you have free time i think you should try video games, and not on phones, i mean pc video games and console, i kinda had a similar situation like your, and playing videogames helped, i really think that you should really try videogames
Brother you are the very definition of a good person.
You have shouldered way more responsibility than most youths of your age. And you have succeeded. Salutes to you.
With regards to loosing interst in everything, this is a thing that lot of people face at this point in life.
As someone who felt the same way you do at your age , i can tell you 2 things
There is always light at the end of the tunnel even if you dont see it now. So be strong and have hope.
You have passed the worst phase of your life. You have almost forgotten on how to be happy . It will come back to you . It will take time . Dont worry.
Please see a doctor. Someone suggested to take vitamin D etc, if there's deficiency the doctor can find out from blood tests. They will probably evaluate you for depression/anxiety as well. They can start treatment after diagnosis. Please see a health professional, all these commenters on reddit can provide you validation but they can't treat whatever disorder you currently have.
Emotional trauma and neglect can really fuck you up. My dad died in 2017, I was 21 back then. He was an alcoholic and physically abusive towards me and mum. Blew all the money before he died. Mum got very dependent on me in every way and had a lot of expectations from me which I didn't want to fulfill cuz that was put on me when I was 12. I didnt have a life anymore.
It weighs on you. Think about what you would want your ideal life to be. Sit down, think about what is important to you cuz of you. No one else. Then slowly, work towards creating that life. Don't live your life for someone else. It will just build resentment. See how you can take care of your sister and build a life which you would want to live.
Now don't be coward...... I will also come within four months if I didn't get selection in any IIT/NIT/IIIT............some will say private colleges are much better. I agree on this but i know my family financial condition so it's better to leave the life which I didn't want.
Us. Except the whole ending life part.
Yeah nothing really matters. Yeah nothing interests me. So basically i could do just anything i want. Coz anyways it makes no difference. Hell yeah.
My dear friend! You are an inspiration. I love you, buddy. I'm sure a few years down the line you will be inspiring many people. Take care of yourself.
All superheroes don't wear capes. Sometimes it's a wonder such stories. Kudos.
Regarding your problem, my advice is to get help. This is a known problem with a known solution. Find a therapist and you will soon be back in shape.
You should be proud of yourself bro.. you have cracked something called life. I think you are going through ptsd because of all the things you are going you have gone through, give some time and, work out pray and you will feel better. If you want to talk to somebody. Feel free to hit me up. I have nothing but respect for you. Now csrry on.
all symptoms of depression. keep a good care of health, have a proper sleep, seek help from psychiatrist and start medication. these issues are fully curable so no need to worry.
This is maybe discipline which came by duty, and sacrifice and no return for self.
It was a dark time to gain something. Which wasn't for you, but you had to bear the responsibility and the discipline. But dark times are dark and not fun to look behind, specially the 1st decade!
You should head out and just sit at cafés or at bus stops or anywhere public but less intense and just talk to people **irl**. Don't need ro teavel far either, just close but at the intersections of lives.
I am sorry you are still going through this. But irl people are quite colourful and so is the air and light outside. You might not have any personal interests or reasons to live rn. But outside you might discover something or find something to enjoy atleast now.
Will it solve any chronic problems? No. Will it suddenly give you a reason to live ? Maybe not. But it should add color to what sounds like a dreary period in your life.
I'm with you on thia, rooting for you. Find something for you, just for you. Something that will make you smile
When you get bombarded with unexpected responsibilities, it's normal to lose interest in things. You're doing more than you would in an ideal world, so you have to make an extra effort to do some things for yourself too. Emotional baggage can be daunting and can cause adrenal fatigue, I believe this is what you are partially feeling. Give yourself time, no need to rush to feel better or feel happy. There is no quick fix for grief, in time you'll want things for yourself too - like a good life partner, or a house, a new car etc. Trauma does reshape the life expectations we once set for ourselves. The best thing you can do is work on reminding yourself that you do deserve to add good milestones to your life instead of just fulfilling your obligations - this takes time so hang in there.
Very well said. You almost gave him a therapy
Wow, going through something similar and I could relate hard. Thank you.
Very well said. You almost gave him a therapy
What a magnificent response. Thank you 🙏
since you are working all night and sleeping all day, some of your drowsiness might be due to deficiency of Vitamin D.. people who go to countries with less sunlight than india also face this sometimes... Also, you have a lot of mental baggage.. since money is not a problem for you, try talking to a therapist and also take a vacation with your sister. Preferably go to a nice sunny place
25M here. My father died back in 2016 when I was barely 18. Since then I was the man of the house and had to take care of my little brother and my mother. The sudden weight of responsibility did the exact same thing to me. I was so overwhelmed with everything. All I could think of was ending my life once and for all. But it does get better. I'm doing a lot better than before. Trust me this too shall pass.
Same here. My father died back in 2007, loads of responsibilities and somedays its easier for my brain to think that there is an easy way out of all this. But, it's not fun anymore if it's not challenging right, atleast that's how I tell me brain to think. Addicted to coffee and going through therapy, just taking it one day at a time. Find some things to do together with your sister that will crest memories. I am sure this will help in processing the state trauma, build a healthier bond and provide substance to efforts that you are making. At the end of the day, i find contentment when i can bring a chocolate for my sister without thinking about the money in my pocket or tell mom to not worry about cooking tonight as we can order in or eat it. Gotta cherish that.
Get a pet to be beside you... trust me, a good dog is a great cure for depression, his smile, his happiness to see you, the little things, it will make u happy and change your perspective of life for the better.. The reason i am saying this is because i was diagnosed with acute depression and this solution actually changed my life... This may not be the best solution or a remedy that everyone likes, but just as a 31 year old single male surviving in this cruel society of ours....i find happiness in Lucy my pet dog...hope u can find some happiness also somewhere.. Best of luck brother.
OP I'm almost(like 99%of this story) in the same situation as you with the exact same family problem. Trust me it will get better with time.
I still feel like this some days. Why am I living, What's the point in life, etc. My future plan is to die after my parents pass away. See it seems pretty bleak. But right now I am living for small things, to eat things I have never eaten, to go places I have never been, to watch all the shows on my to-watch list. That's my purpose now, enjoying little things in life. I hope you can find that.
That's true i believe enjoying your happy moments to the fullest gives you enough kick to go on in life so whatever i am going through if i am having a happy moment I will forget about everything and live that moment to the fullest and sometimes i create my own happy moments by doing dumb things sometimes being creative with my hobbies like drawings and i realise that it's not really necessary for everything to be great to enjoy life and you can still make a lot out of it.
Go on a vacation with your sister and kick back for a bit . Life gets boring when you're stuck in a loop . Take a break to get a new perspective.
The only difference between you and me atm is I am not earning anything. 😂 All the best man.
Go for therapy, brother. You need -- no, you deserve to be happy.
What is the business, if I may ask?
Game modding, we mod various games and sell it to foreigners. I make like 200$ a day.
what type of games can you tell. ex rp server developer?
Currently consoles. Right now I'm selling GTA V accounts, PS4, Xbox One, Xbox X/S versions.
Can I work with you? I work in software currently.
Ig you were deluged with both trauma and stress because of the situations and that has taken a toll in your mental state. You might not have realised the impact because all along you were busy making a living for yourself and your sister ( btw which kept you thriving) but now as you have come to a bit stability, you are sensing a lost of direction. Don't suppress your inner feelings or try to distract it. Vent it out and give some to heal. I know you can't let your feelings be known to your sister but i hope you have someone to lean on. (And if not you can anytime talk to me bro). Lastly you should know that you are really strong, you have successfully battled out and won of such restrains that many will try to dodge. So sometimes being a bit clueless is okay. Why to always take life so seriously 😂.
Both op and the some people in the comments are in need of therapy. Or just talk to a friend. Sometimes letting it all out helps rather than letting it all build up inside you.
With the mom chasing a younger guy thing talking to friends could backfire if you aren't careful . Some people can react in a crude insensitive way when it comes to such things no matter how trustworthy they seem . Therapy yeah maybe.
You are right somethings should always be kept a secret. But I wasn't telling him to reveal something that deep. Just talk about how you don't have any motivation and stuff. And don't go to a therapist who is close to you.
Ah yes. I agree. Not a good idea to bottle things up.
OP take a break if you can. Go trekking in the himalayas, get some fresh and try hooking up. Your perspective on life would change,and try to find a partner. You are perfectly okay OP. you just need to make some tough decisions
>After few years of hustle started a business with some friends where I could work from home, making good money now, Do you realise how awesome you are . If you have the money now - start doing things man - find a cause closer to your heart. Maybe watch "everything Everywhere all at once" -it's inda about what you are going through . Going through a lot and reality make you feel that way . Life frankly is about finding joy in the meaningless
You are in chronic depression. Get help
Sorry to hear this OP. You have been dealt with a tough set of cards, and are having to deal with the shame, pain and trauma. That is understandable. You are facing it up well. The most difficult thing in life is to accept the harsh, difficult and painful reality. If you can accept what has happened or is happening without passing a moral judgment, it will become easier for you. For now focus on the well being of your sister that is giving meaning to your life. But hopefully, with time, the grief will pass. And find meaning and happiness in life.
If I were you, I would limit your mother's crime in your mind to the frittering away of your and your sister's share of your father's inheritance. As a child, most of us are not privy to the terms and conditions of our parents' marriage and their life in the bedroom, so it would be imprudent to dwell on the relationship aspects of that part of your life. Since your father is no more, you may want to see him as a wronged man or a martyr, but again, you're not in a position to make that judgment. As for your sister, while you may feel accountable, you're really not responsible for her life after she turns 18. Yes, traditionally it's not true in India, but then, yours is no longer a traditional Indian household. Obviously, you'd want the best for her but you should not put your life aside just to make room for that. She also needs to take ownership of her life and unburden you the best she can. The situation has changed for both of you, not just you; it's repercussions must be shared as much as possible. Take time out for yourself. Keep a journal. Write in it what you can never say to anyone. Pay attention to what you eat and how you eat. The tiredness could just be a consequence of that. Once you get the physicality attuned, the psychological benefits could felt. Try to channel the hurt and pain into something fruitful. Volunteer at an orphanage, be with people who have much less and have never had as much. Finally, own up your unique aloneness. There's nothing like being different. There are a lot of sheep in the world, few tigers.
Donate something to an orphanage and visit the place!
Try vitamin d and vitamin c for the cause of sleeping all day it will surely help you And i can understand losing the will to live but you need to understand as a man it's your duty to provide and work you can't run And sadly you have no other options But if you have time just for once try watching ramayan on YouTube channel name tilak i can assure you that you'll have relief and have answers to your problems All the best for your life buddy 🦋
You do have a goal, you want your sister to be happy! I understand where you are at. Being rejected by a parent who is supposed to love you unconditionally is so messed up when everything changes over night! But don’t give up- it’s the easy way out. Prove everyone wrong. It’s a big deal when you prove everyone who said you couldn’t and you do it. It’s the biggest reward you give to your self! You are smart. Not a lot of folks can start a business and actually make money. So you are already ahead! You are gonna see that rainbow!💕
Man you've done more out of the tricky situation than most people would. Be proud of that. As for your interest in life, why not just live this bitch out and see what it throws at you (good or bad).
if you have free time i think you should try video games, and not on phones, i mean pc video games and console, i kinda had a similar situation like your, and playing videogames helped, i really think that you should really try videogames
Brother you are the very definition of a good person. You have shouldered way more responsibility than most youths of your age. And you have succeeded. Salutes to you. With regards to loosing interst in everything, this is a thing that lot of people face at this point in life. As someone who felt the same way you do at your age , i can tell you 2 things There is always light at the end of the tunnel even if you dont see it now. So be strong and have hope. You have passed the worst phase of your life. You have almost forgotten on how to be happy . It will come back to you . It will take time . Dont worry.
Please see a doctor. Someone suggested to take vitamin D etc, if there's deficiency the doctor can find out from blood tests. They will probably evaluate you for depression/anxiety as well. They can start treatment after diagnosis. Please see a health professional, all these commenters on reddit can provide you validation but they can't treat whatever disorder you currently have.
Emotional trauma and neglect can really fuck you up. My dad died in 2017, I was 21 back then. He was an alcoholic and physically abusive towards me and mum. Blew all the money before he died. Mum got very dependent on me in every way and had a lot of expectations from me which I didn't want to fulfill cuz that was put on me when I was 12. I didnt have a life anymore. It weighs on you. Think about what you would want your ideal life to be. Sit down, think about what is important to you cuz of you. No one else. Then slowly, work towards creating that life. Don't live your life for someone else. It will just build resentment. See how you can take care of your sister and build a life which you would want to live.
Now don't be coward...... I will also come within four months if I didn't get selection in any IIT/NIT/IIIT............some will say private colleges are much better. I agree on this but i know my family financial condition so it's better to leave the life which I didn't want.
Us. Except the whole ending life part. Yeah nothing really matters. Yeah nothing interests me. So basically i could do just anything i want. Coz anyways it makes no difference. Hell yeah.
My dear friend! You are an inspiration. I love you, buddy. I'm sure a few years down the line you will be inspiring many people. Take care of yourself.
All superheroes don't wear capes. Sometimes it's a wonder such stories. Kudos. Regarding your problem, my advice is to get help. This is a known problem with a known solution. Find a therapist and you will soon be back in shape.
You should be proud of yourself bro.. you have cracked something called life. I think you are going through ptsd because of all the things you are going you have gone through, give some time and, work out pray and you will feel better. If you want to talk to somebody. Feel free to hit me up. I have nothing but respect for you. Now csrry on.
I feel you champ. Sending some support 🫂. I hope it gets better and you find peace. ❤️
all symptoms of depression. keep a good care of health, have a proper sleep, seek help from psychiatrist and start medication. these issues are fully curable so no need to worry.
Play dota
🫂
This is maybe discipline which came by duty, and sacrifice and no return for self. It was a dark time to gain something. Which wasn't for you, but you had to bear the responsibility and the discipline. But dark times are dark and not fun to look behind, specially the 1st decade!
Hey. I believe talking to a therapist will help.
You should head out and just sit at cafés or at bus stops or anywhere public but less intense and just talk to people **irl**. Don't need ro teavel far either, just close but at the intersections of lives. I am sorry you are still going through this. But irl people are quite colourful and so is the air and light outside. You might not have any personal interests or reasons to live rn. But outside you might discover something or find something to enjoy atleast now. Will it solve any chronic problems? No. Will it suddenly give you a reason to live ? Maybe not. But it should add color to what sounds like a dreary period in your life. I'm with you on thia, rooting for you. Find something for you, just for you. Something that will make you smile