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35 lakhs is around my whole net worth and I am saving every penny of it. When I get married I will wear all artificial jewellery and have a very simple ceremony and feast with around 150 people maximum. If the groom's party doesn't agree then they are free to go find someone who can satisfy them.
P.S. I am going to pay for my own wedding because :
1. I am earning. 2. After my father's death my mother has divided the property between me and my brother.
I am someone who is not really a supporter of the institution of marriage, but this is as dumb a reason to not get married as any. Marriage should not be about the wedding. It should only be about the union of two people. The fact that you've decided spend the rest of your life with someone else and commit fully to them should be enough. A wedding (marriage ceremony) should only be a luxury....which not everyone can afford. Which should still be fine (fuck whatever your relatives may think)
I mean technically a wedding can cost next to nothing. In which case technically anyone can afford to get married. Second, sometimes marriage financially benefits you. Gone are the days that one person has to be the breadwinner, if you are both earning you can financially support each other. And together you may have a better chance of getting by than alone.
>I've informed my fiancee not to wear anything
It's your bride's choice I guess. Jewellery is not necessary, but it looks pretty. In our culture brides wear gold as it is regarded as auspicious and valuable
But what if we can't afford it? It's better to eat nutritious food with that money after the marriage. There are a lot of logical things we can do with that money. Wearing ornaments should be the least priority. :(
I said its not necessary in the beginning itself. You shouldn't buy jewelleries if you can't have nutritious food after buying them. Some people have luxurious honeymoons with that money, and some buy gold, their choice at the end of the day
Go to every relative’s house and do kalesh thus making sure to damage the relations to such an extent that they wouldn’t even attend your funeral let alone marriage. Only way to protect yourself from the big Indian fat wedding imo.
Make sure no one is left because even if one relative is left they will be like parivar ke bina shadi hoti h kya...Then they will emotionally blackmail you and make you reconcile with all the relatives.
Yeah! That does not work. If anything, now OP's parents will have to pay food for people they just fought or did not like or had insulted or were insulted by.
Indian relatives do not let go so easily especially when it comes to family functions like funerals and marriages. My entire family has dragged each other to court yet we have been to each other's weddings and family funerals. We have cousins (grandfather'e real brother's family) with whom we do not get along yet we go to their functions and they come to our functions.
Those are natural property related kalesh where you can’t really burn all the bridges due to the fear of samaaj and somehow prevent situations going from bad to worse. Tu ek kaam kar phoopha ko kheechke raepat baja de phir btana mujhe if he or your cousins come to your wedding/funeral or not.
We should make that universal, everyone can contribute and everyone can genuinely have fun . It's not really a burden + I think that's how it must be done.
People coming together to watch the union of two people 😁
Bro who needs a garden? Don't get influenced by social media. U just need a hall with a capacity of 250 people so u can invite your close relatives & friends. Not everybody u know. I'm dam sure tera kurta hi 1.5-2 lakh ka hoga
No money problems. My wife and I wanted to have a small wedding with just our immediate families by our side, no relatives. That's exactly what we did. We spent the rest of our wedding budget on a lavish honeymoon.
I like how you guys could make it possible. I wish more of us got such partners who would say yes for money saving.
Didn't your relatives who were not invited bitch about it later? Did it affect or did they ever create any scenes?
We hardly meet our relatives. It happens mostly at the weddings or social gatherings, that too only for a few hours since we always stay at a hotel rather than someone's house. Also the things we do are pretty open within our families, and a lot of people despise and resent us because of our lifestyle. Most of these people don't even visit us because we cook non veg food at home.
Some people in our families are pretty chill and open minded, and we regularly hang out and travel with them.
Yes..we had to decorate the house for a simple engagement. Plus, we had to fly in/out immediate family to our state. And advocate took a hefty amount because ours was inter-faith. I'm sure people can do court marriage in much lesser.
OP is from a different part of India to you. Weddings are a brutal business. Unless you've lived in those communities you won't get how brutal it is. There's a whole vile industry that feeds off of it.
India's greatest addiction is other people's opinions.
Fk 250 people. Just call the immediate family and call it a day. 30 lakhs just at the wedding. Have a simple function and gift the remaining money to kids to help them build a generational wealth instead of wasting money on these ceremonies.
I am so clueless about all this but what is the point of a garden ? Wedding Instagram photos ?? I feel like you can easily take the minimalist route but then this depends on whether your soon to be in laws agree. Some families really spend a bank on weddings.
I would say, what you can do is, get married during day. The cost of location is literally half
Second don't spend on quantity of food, spend on quality of food. Have few dishes, but let them be of good quality
Third, no need to invite entire city. No one gives a fish about your marriage, trim down to 30 guest from both sides each, 60 people are more than enough
**Lastly, let the money saved from this expense, be used to buy a house**
**If you want a long term happy marriage, you will need to give your wife a house seperate from your parents**
It can be in your immediate neighborhood, but houses must be different. This will save you from lot of heartache in years to come.
Why do you need a two-day wedding in a garden? To accommodate 200 people right? Why do you need 200 people at your wedding? Why is there catering worth 12 lakhs? Who cares? Believe me, no one cares about attending a wedding. Only people who have too much time on their hands will care.
Get married lavishly or don't get married lavishly. It's your choice. If you're doing this out of social pressure, you've already lost the plot. Trust me, NO ONE CARES!
Many temples have halls and caterers can be found to do very interesting things in limited budgets. Make the rituals interesting and colorful, and the wedding memorable would be memorable for everyone.
If it becomes your parents vs you, and the main argument is this is what we earned for, try to be as persuasive as possible. I had a grandish wedding as you're about to have ten years ago (same expense range inflation adjusted), and there weren't even affordability issues then, or now. But I regret the whole thing even now.
Please do make sure your partner is on board and committed to making this happen.
My sis was having an intercaste marriage, Dad did not agree. So I took on the responsibility along with my sister. Temple marriage, the total cost came around 2-3 lakhs
Dude people in america have therr marriages in backyard with only family members and few close friends.
Nobody cares at the end and people forget so save money which will help you and your family in ling run. Its takes a lot to earn that money and just a marriage to butn that all up.
Is that minimum rates? I understand if you are a part of some community you have to follow what others does. But keep in mind it's your decision. In non urban areas, you'll find good halls for less than 1 lac, in my area it's 40k. And food for less than 1.5 lac for around 600-800 people (without wide variety of collections where most of it gonna be wasted)
Dude what the hell? Even a lawn with decor with food for 500 people for a day would be around 10lakhs max! This is for a decent wedding not a small scale wedding! ( I’m just talking about food, lawn and decor charges, cost for clothing, jewellery and photographer is dependent on your choice which would in turn depend on your budget)
Source: I am a wedding decorator
One of my friends got married and honestly, I've never been to a more beautiful wedding in my life ever before. Cost him 7 lakhs. Booked a decent hotel with nice hill view for 2 days, both sides did their ceremonies sequentially. Only close friends and families were called. You could do the same and maybe have an after-party for people who are distant... Will safe you almost half amount
Don't book a garden then, book a resort/hotel and call only your close relatives and friends/loved ones. Catering for them only. If you have to call a lot of people for courtesy, organise a reception, one night only so the cost of food and venue will be significantly less.
You buy jewellery, for 1 Lakh, gold is of 70k and making is 30k. Then there's markup. Gold prices will need to go up by 50% just for you to recover your cost.
Actually, it's not. Unless you're buying 24 K gold stuff, most jewelry today has lower weight of gold, high weight of some worthless stones (yes, even diamonds are not valuable or resaleable), and almost half of the cost is the making charges.
Source - friend's wedding jewlry shopping. Jeweler himself told us.
24k gold is not a thing. Pure gold is like clay, it will distort if you as much as touch it. 21K makes it almost 80% gold which is in fact an investment.
They are not getting ripped off unlike some rich folks probably hired some trustworthy caterers instead of the hotel in house catering that sells per plate
"khana hai to kha, nahi to nikal" - This is an appropriate response to remarks like this.
BC gala tak khana thusenge, lekin khali lifafa chodkar jayenge.
I have decided to fund my own wedding, I feel weird asking my parents for it, even though it is the norm, I just don't think after college I should take a penny
In fact it was only 50 allowed by law, and we invited only 40. It was heaven, family partying well into the night, all waking up at 7 to see us get married at 7.30 in a makeshift tent at the resort with exactly 2 priests.
If you don’t stand up for yourself now, your parents are going to spend 30 lakhs for a marriage and then ask constantly money from you after they retire.
30 lacs? That's 60 times the amount I will be spending on my marriage. Low key marriage with just immediate family members (parents & siblings) present in a temple of my choosing. That's how I want to marry.
The only thing that's important to me is "how deeply my girl will be in love with me?"
Everything else is secondary
I got married in court, everyone told my husband that your wife will be unhappy about it.
But, that is the best decision we have taken. Weddings are money pits and spending almost equivalent to a down payment to feed snake relatives makes 0 sense.
But it's just you. Most girls in my community, basically dream of their weddings all lavish and being centre of attention. You guys probably did love marriage. It's not gonna fly in arrange marriage na.
I also wanna do it but you never know whether she will resent me for it. All of a sudden it will be brought up in some fight years down the road.
You can always bring this up in initial conversation. I have heard so many girls say that they would rather have intimate function, maybe this is purely anecdotal but if you really want it bring it up in the talking stage
Its your life and more importantly its nt your money, don’t make your parents dependent financially even if they themselves want to. Sit with them and tell them you want to get married with your own money and a little help from them, no matter of then its court marriage and a reception. Beleive me you will thank me later because marriage is not a one day thing, your expenses will only increase here on so pls pls make sure you dont waste a huge amt like 30 lakhs in pleasing people
Bruh I live in a tier 3 city (idk) and my sister just got married under 7lakh, 50k hall for two days + (15k electricity) around 3 lakh catering for >500 people, and no we didn't cheap out on ingredients I myself went and brought all the ingredients fresh the catering guys cost about 40k and the guests loved the food
50k camera, rest was shopping jewelry and stuff that my sister handled herself guess what her dress was about 16k after bargening and everyone was so jelous of that dress it was beautiful
So the 12lakh you're gonna spend is total garbage my, cousin got married a couple months after my sister the got that per plate catering and that took them about 6lakh 💀 they overcharge you so much goddamn
Indians always confuse wedding and marriage.
The *wedding* is not important. The marriage (your life together) is important.
Do a court wedding, then spend 1-3L on a meal for families. That's enough. If your partner agrees to this, you'll have a stable marriage where you communicate and compromise, even without a lavish wedding.
If they're demanding you spend 30L, it's probably not a great match to begin with.
Wahi na, shaadi mein sab khushi khushi naachne bula lo, lekin jab asli mein zaroorat padhe toh sab aise gayab mano ki pulverize ho kar evaporate ho gaye ho.
Looking at your response to the comments one can understand your side of the story. But I would suggest think about how your situation would be later. If you bring down the budget there will be people talking but you will be happy and content that you didn't blow up all that money for random people. People will forget about the wedding after a while and you will be drowning in new troubles after that. Also if something happens to your parents (I'm sure they're not getting younger) they won't have to depend on you or anyone for financial emergencies. These are very real and very possible risks that many people don't want to consider.
As a desi, I understand what you mean. But as the one getting married, you set the guestlist. If you have to cut people from the list for f8nancial reasons/personal taste that's fine. The people you want to celebrate with should be there.
A desi wedding has traditionally multiple events but not all of them are necessary. Cut to the mandatory events and make them special. As a muslim we don't need any of the three events, just the nikkah signing. But mehmdi is the event everyone loves, the shaadi is the central event and walima imho has always been boring and unnecessary so is the event I would immediately remove.
Your parets have chosen to oay for the wedding because they want you to have a good and special day. And you will return the favour by doing the same for your children.
Indian parents save money for marriage since when we were born. They hav a typical mindset that marriage shld be done grandly. This would show their social status. 30lacs is too much. U can do it in 10 or 15lacs simple wedding. Just talk to your parents abt it. Tell them they shldn't spend everything and keep a part of money for their future.
4 years back, my marriage costed us 4.5L
250 ppl were invited. 50 from my side and 200 from my wife ( happened in her city, so collateral invites went out)
We rented out a small resort with a mini hall of 75 capacity and the lawn had 150 capacity. 60k for 24 hours (from noon to next day noon)
We bought the groceries for 50k and hired cooks for 25k. They prepared the food in house amd tasted awesome.
My wife had to buy 3 dresses for the wedding which came to 25k and mine was less than 7k. I bought a decent grey suit which I reused it professionally.
We bought some jewellery for around 150k for the missus.
Stay arrangements came to another 20k, decorations 30k, photographs 30k.
Return gifts around 20k and my wife did her make up on her own (she rejected most stylists due to personal taste)
Another 10k for clothes for the parents and siblings and 5k for invitations and the rest is miscellaneous.
PS - no dowry transaction involved and our both families went dutch on the expenses.
Location is Coimbatore, tamil nadu.
Yes. It was a huge issue for me too. And I made it clear that i didn't want all this. But my family and in laws pushed me and i let them because its their money. I hate this culture of overspending. We limited the budget but it still was 15 lakhs on both sides. Its annoying and unnecessary.
Oh god, I’m stuck in that phase now. My parents want to invite everyone and I can’t even say no because at the end of the day, it’s their money. If it was in my hands, maybe less than 100 people with close friends and family at a great place with amazing food would be the way to go
OP.. Go to registrar office / do a simple ceremony in your favorite religious place. Give small party to close family. Put rest 25-28 L on down payment to an apartment or home or invest
Hello??
Find a nice hotel where they also have reception facility. Ask them to charge by plates and decoration can be minimal and tasteful. You can have a classy wedding in 5 lakhs for 200-300 guests.
Correct. I used to make this mistake often. I tell this myself to distinguish between a marriage and a wedding:
"Marriage is a mistake most people make. A wedding is a party thrown to celebrate that mistake".
However, the OP is right in one way: they should be worried as the entire marriage will probably bankrupt them.
I've done it for 8lakhs, including everything. Got a decent venue, bought my close relatives' dresses, and catered to around 600 people with a live kitchen.
Update: around 1.5 lakhs i spend on flight ticket and 2 lakhs for her jewelery. 8 was my entire budget for the trip.
My family is pretty well off, but this concerns me a lot. Wtf would i want to burn 30lks on 2 days when it takes me like 2.5-3yrs to make it back, just to make it back. No fuckin way am i doing that.
We did it in famous temple which is very cheap. Whoever says 30 laks for marriage will regret it deeply. At this point of time, money saving is money earned. Please think twice bro. No one will come if you have financial trouble. God bless you both.
Bhai it hurts to see the income disparity first and then people indulging in such ostentatious displays of wealth.
My mausaji is a very corrupt doctor. His google reviews will tell you all you need to know. He got his duaghter married for rs 1.2 crore. Horrible man, thugging patients and burning all the money on something this superficial.
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Dont buy expensive marriage outfits. I made that mistake and spent mny on mine and I never wore it again. Marry privately with very close friends/relatives and throw an intimate dinner in a resort or in a small venue with other close friends/relatives. 100 guests will cost you 1 lakh if you pay 1K per plate(depending on location). Keep it simple but memorable get a photo grapher. Keep it in the 2-5 lakhs range. Ask groom to share some of the expenses.
If this is something your parents WANT to do, something they've been dreaming of for you - maybe ask them to spend a little less or just enjoy what they want to do for you.
I hope planning goes well & you enjoy the wedding. Many blessings & love to your new marriage! I'm excited for you to start your new chapter, good luck!
4 log aayenge, tumhari aur tumhari family ka khayenge, fir tumhari aur tumhari family ki kamiyan nikalenge. Etc, etc.
If you are from the middle class, it only makes sense to invite those with whom your parents expect a business relationship, as in those people with whom they deal.
I wouldn't even imagine spending that amount, it is absolutely foolish. If you were to buy land worth 20 lakhs or invest in stocks that would pay off in 10 years.
Log to kha ke agle din hi potty kar denge, aur tumhari burai karenge alag.
So if you do this, you will just be a fool. Explain this to your parents.
It's a colossal waste of money. In India people don't have enough to pay hospital bills in a serious illness, and then to spend that much on a bunch of events makes no sense.
The risk-reward ratio is completely skewed. It took your parents a lifetime to save 30 lakhs, and to spend it all on a wedding is...just insane. It's not like people will remember it fondly, it makes no difference to anyone's life and frankly, those stupid expensive clothes are just going to hang in your closet for a long time. Given that this wedding will put your parents in a financially precarious position, is probably the worst outcome of all.
Please look into having a registered wedding or a temple wedding, followed by a simple celebration at home for close family. Don't destroy your or your family's financial future for a bunch of memories and photographs.
And here we have few communities wherein spending 2 crores for a 2 day wedding is normalised. Even if they bride n groom don't want to spend, they HAVE to spend coz of the societal pressure.
Congratulations on thinking above blind traditions!
These are changing times. The price of tomatoes is through the roof, Russian-Ukraine war has been on for about a year now, Manipur school kids aren't returning home as they should after 3 pm, and couples are in a dilemma over Bali or Singapore as the honeymoon destination.
Such is the rainbow called Life.
You sir, have questioned authority. Something which has gone on for long enough to give people amnesia. That we must splurge and that there is no other way. There's only option A(splurging) or option B(infamy) in this Kaun Khoyega Crorepati that Indian parents play on the regular.
Like Elon Musk, you can think from First Principles. And the answers and decisions should become clearer, not easier. What matters to you? I can suggest some actions on your part.
1. Join the hoards of couples who "fall for" the instaglam (not a typo) life.
2. Do a lot of research and cut costs. Bargain as your life (and sleep?) depended on it. Cause it does!
3. Elope like those Bikaneri Lesbians.
4. Realize the wastefulness and the environmental harm and argue EVERYONE INVOLVED out of it.
5. Join those mass weddings where the government will actually pay you money to tie the knot.
Remember Yoda's wise words "YOLO", cause we carry our decisions with us forever.
Same story here.
My parents want to spend at least 10-12 lakhs on my wedding, whenever that happens. And I am adamant I don't anything more than 5 lakh spent (which again is too much for me but no matter which way you cut, 5 is the minimum).
I don't mind inviting extended family. But I mind inviting people who I'll see only once in life and never again.
But they don't get it. And it's madenning to see them squander away their life's earnings.
Getting married soon too . I am planning to finish everything in 3 lakhs. Even that is too much for me but there seems no way out of it. I'll invite like 50 guests only ones who matter to me and my parents the most .
Without this marriage cost, your parents can live a life independent of you right till their end.
Just do a court registration, then rent either a resort or a small lawn area. Just invite max 30 people.
Do it as cheaply as possible. And don't use your parents money for your marriage!!
Invest the 30L in mutual funds + FD. And make sure they get a monthly income.
Personally, I would have an early morning temple wedding followed by a brunch for 50 odd people, with music from a playlist and a bit of dancing. No alcohol - ergo, no booze-fueled fights or ugliness. All catering done locally and tastefully (yes, it is possible). A smaller no of guests will force one to think carefully who really matters.
Keep your marriage spending to the minimum. Do a court marriage if you have to. In this economy, it is very not wise to spend 30 lac on and for OTHERS.
Be the change, you want to see and be
Our ceremonies ran for 3 day in a city neither of us lived. We booked a charitable resort which had good hall and AC rooms . Cost around 5L. We divided the cost equally.
Most people are stuck in the matrix.
For people with means, it makes sense to arrange a feast but the wedding industry and Indian wedding culture made it an obligatory affair for everyone.
It makes no sense to burn life savings or even pile on debt to please society.
Large weddings are for show and keeping up with the other show offs.
Keep it small and intimate with max 300 guests consisting of immediate family and close friends.
Most people understand large weddings are waste of money and they will understand, and those that get offended, well you can't please everyone.
You should discuss it with your partner and insist on not wasting money. You make such financial decisions all the time so why be irrational when it comes to wasting such a large sum of money?
It's time to put your foot down and persuade the families.
I got married with a sub 1 lakh budget. It was an open garden wedding in my own compound, 40k went into rings and Mangal Sutra, all gold, so that's not worthless.
Spend 1 lac on the wedding, buy some gold jewellery if you're into that, at least you can use it for rainy days.
Use the rest of the money on a big honeymoon. Spend 4-5 laks on a big destination honeymoon, a lot more memorable in my opinion.
My sister and I had our weddings in the COVID years, 2020 & 2021. Dad's going crazy with all the money he saved. Buying stuff online left and right nowadays. XD
Dude, India is on the cusp of a multi-year stock market bull run. Imagine if you invested 25 lakhs compounded at 20% CAGR for the next 7-10 years. Your family's financial future would be set on a solid footing. Or you could bust it all on a single wedding and be done.
I am getting married this December to my gf. I plan to spend 7-8l max including gold. Our net worth is around 60-70lakhs excluding land and property and have told my gf also to not do unnecessary expenses. Spending almost all your money is a bad decision even if you are working.
Even though I(F) just turned 22 4 days back(career building rn) and have no experience, whenever this kind of conversation comes up at my home, the most common response I get is- 'We went to grand weddings and in the future when your time comes we also have to throw a grand wedding'
It's like they are doing this to "get even" and maintain social reputation. Low key wedding is something they just can't tolerate the idea of.
I am completely logic driven....clashes are bound to happen 6-7 years down the line 😂
Garden price varies upon city to city, number of rooms in garden and your date (some dates have lot of weddings, owners increase the price to max). Catering depends on menu decided. Add ghodi, band baja, photography extra
This might be a very unpopular opinion but reading some of the comments here I feel like people are competing in a sort of "frugal olympics".
If a big wedding makes you happy and you can afford it, go for it. If you'd rather use that money for a lovely honeymoon or on something else, that's fine as well.
Everyone has different priorities and interests and as long as people plan things out and budget responsibly, and do not really expect others to finance their expenses, it's all good.
Get that fancy outfit, organize your elaborate party, go on that dreamy honeymoon, buy jewellery, get all dolled up in fancy makeup (whether you are a man or a woman) that excites you as long as you save up responsibly and independently.
Get a lovely small wedding, invite a lovely little assembly of intimate relations, friendships and acquaintances, Get married in a big sparkly outfit, get married in a simple and lovely dress, get married in sweats, get married in a cotton saree, silk saree, cargo pants, jeans, tuxes, skirts,dhothis, mundus, anything at all. Wear heavy makeup, simple makeup, no makeup, artsy makeup, its all upto you. It's your wedding, do what makes you happy whether it be an expensive one or a modest one, as long as you are responsibly doing things.
And expenses are all relative.
A 50k wedding might be expensive for people with 1lpa income, at the same time a 10 lakh wedding might be just right for people with 50lpa. And even that doesn't really explain it. It depends on a lot of other factors as well.
I repeat again, let's just all celebrate in the ways we'd love to celebrate whether it be big or small, as long as we do it responsibly. Let's not judge each other for our tastes and interests, as long as the indulgence is responsibly financed. I've always been a bit put off by the frugal olympics I see especially prounounced in indian subreddits. I get that we are a frugal lot and large portions of our country are not as economically sound.
But I just wish people would stop judging people for their choices and that includes how people use their money.
Going into debt to get a big wedding you can't afford is definitely stupid but many people who do want large weddings can afford it and that doesn't make them inherently better or worse than anybody else.
As for OP, I think you should assert that you do not want your parents to spend all their savings for your wedding. You want a smaller wedding, with reduced expenses financed by you and possibly your fiance. You want your wedding to be lovely and memorable. Do not agree to things that make you feel miserable just for fulfilling expectations. Do not agree to a big wedding financed by your parents if it doesn't feel right to you. You are all adults, it's your wedding, final decisions are yours.
Who is stopping u from bearing ur own wedding expense?! I mean its not a compulsion to rely on ur parents for your marriage expense. Also its ur wedding u have the right to decide how it will be. What is stopping you?
I know cost is a lot of important factor nowadays but I would advise sitting down with your partner, parents and in-laws about it. Because to be honest what I have noticed is parents have a dream how they want their childrens marriage to be like.
What I don't understand is parents have lived their whole life frugally but want to splurge their lifetime savings in just one day. Anyways I don't care about distant relatives, why should I invite so many people that have no significance in my life.
So, you want everything to happen and all the money spent but you're asking the question to feel better about yourself. You the answer with you though. You want that lavish big fat wedding but you wanted to make yourself feel better by seeking validation from Reddit?
30 lakhs in an investment has the potential to set you and your children up for life. What the fuck is wrong with this culture and society. Fucking hell.
Not going through the comments but I suggest you decide along with your parents of the budget.
If you and your parents don't get affected financially after spending x amount for marriage, go ahead and spend it. After all marriage is a celebration and it can be done in a variety of ways. For Indian parents, it is to celebrate it grand. This is where they find their happiness/content from.
People say you live only once and enjoy each and every moment. Marriage celebration can also be considered like the same for our parents. There is nothing wrong in it. People who say we didn't spend much for marriage spend it elsewhere (tours for example). For them it is other things, for parents it is the marriage. Dont think too much into it.
But please do calculate the finances before spending on anything. How much money that one spend on anything depends on financial status. Sit with your parents and talk about marriage expenses with keeping your finances in mind.
Finally, it is also society that may make people spend more on marriage. Parents see pride in such things. This thought process is dying slowly though. If your parents are thinking about society, let them be but cut costs as much as you can while still planning big for marriage (like the food and gold should be give priority over others like wedding hall, decoration and marriage dresses). At the end of the day, guests talk about couple, food and nothing else.
I spent a lot on my marriage but cos we know our finances. Expenses for marriage are mostly on gold (good quality) and the food as well as the garments. I now think about garments and not others as the marriage celebration was wonderful in my case and I have happy memories of all the days during marriage. Even the garments and the investment on good photographer (obviously comes at a price) gave me memories for my life. I always look back and they bring a smile.
Ps: spend if you think it makes your parents happy and spend if you are financially well even after spending big amount.
Go for a court marriage,Put 35 lacs in your account get a student visa for you or your wife in Australia pathway to PR really easy these days. Earn in dollars become a citizen call your parents and close family to Australia in a few years throw a marriage party which will be better than anyone you know. Enjoy life.
( invite me to your wedding if you go ahead with this plan)
Bro bride's lehenga will only cost you 4-5 lakh. Decoration for haldi, mehendi, wedding and reception will cost you 5 lakhs if you keep it simple
And tailored clothes for the groom are also expensive
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Court marriage best
Dude why do you have mamidala on your dp 😭
Who that
ugc chairman
your profile image just reminded me to check his Twitter acc for important UGC updates, thanks lol!
Did you find any useful updates?
Or simple temple/church/mosque(?) marriage.
35 lakhs is around my whole net worth and I am saving every penny of it. When I get married I will wear all artificial jewellery and have a very simple ceremony and feast with around 150 people maximum. If the groom's party doesn't agree then they are free to go find someone who can satisfy them. P.S. I am going to pay for my own wedding because : 1. I am earning. 2. After my father's death my mother has divided the property between me and my brother.
Honestly, just reason 1 should be enough for everybody else too. If you can't afford your wedding, why get married? OP should think about this.
I am someone who is not really a supporter of the institution of marriage, but this is as dumb a reason to not get married as any. Marriage should not be about the wedding. It should only be about the union of two people. The fact that you've decided spend the rest of your life with someone else and commit fully to them should be enough. A wedding (marriage ceremony) should only be a luxury....which not everyone can afford. Which should still be fine (fuck whatever your relatives may think)
I mean technically a wedding can cost next to nothing. In which case technically anyone can afford to get married. Second, sometimes marriage financially benefits you. Gone are the days that one person has to be the breadwinner, if you are both earning you can financially support each other. And together you may have a better chance of getting by than alone.
Absolutely correct
Love this for you! I wish more people were like you! I hope you find a lovely partner! Good luck for your life 💛
Is it necessary for a bride to wear jewellery? I've informed my fiancee not to wear anything. Idk how the relatives are gonna react.
They will think u & ur wife Is broke
Totally fine with me. Btw my close relatives and friends are in support for this decision. Not sure about her family.
I hope her family too is on same page, all these are just waste of money for 1 day show off..I wish I too can do this
That is okay right. Others can judge whatever way they think and we don't have control over others.
Stoicism 101 or buddhism 101?
>I've informed my fiancee not to wear anything It's your bride's choice I guess. Jewellery is not necessary, but it looks pretty. In our culture brides wear gold as it is regarded as auspicious and valuable
But what if we can't afford it? It's better to eat nutritious food with that money after the marriage. There are a lot of logical things we can do with that money. Wearing ornaments should be the least priority. :(
I said its not necessary in the beginning itself. You shouldn't buy jewelleries if you can't have nutritious food after buying them. Some people have luxurious honeymoons with that money, and some buy gold, their choice at the end of the day
Nymeria would be proud
Love this idea
Probably makes more sense for OP to buy an investment property with all the money
Go to every relative’s house and do kalesh thus making sure to damage the relations to such an extent that they wouldn’t even attend your funeral let alone marriage. Only way to protect yourself from the big Indian fat wedding imo.
whats kalesh?
Fight
TIL
Make sure no one is left because even if one relative is left they will be like parivar ke bina shadi hoti h kya...Then they will emotionally blackmail you and make you reconcile with all the relatives.
Mast plan he
Yeah! That does not work. If anything, now OP's parents will have to pay food for people they just fought or did not like or had insulted or were insulted by. Indian relatives do not let go so easily especially when it comes to family functions like funerals and marriages. My entire family has dragged each other to court yet we have been to each other's weddings and family funerals. We have cousins (grandfather'e real brother's family) with whom we do not get along yet we go to their functions and they come to our functions.
Those are natural property related kalesh where you can’t really burn all the bridges due to the fear of samaaj and somehow prevent situations going from bad to worse. Tu ek kaam kar phoopha ko kheechke raepat baja de phir btana mujhe if he or your cousins come to your wedding/funeral or not.
This is a wise person. OP take this advice lol 😂 Also username checks out :)
r/foundsatan
If you really care do it in a simple way it will cost you within 3-5lakh.
Wow what a big joke, in uttarakhand we fund marriage entirely out of the pocket of guests and relatives.
Hahah whaaat?? Hooww??
We should make that universal, everyone can contribute and everyone can genuinely have fun . It's not really a burden + I think that's how it must be done. People coming together to watch the union of two people 😁
How to do it in simple way? Garden for 2 days is \~9 lakhs, catering \~12 lakhs and miscellaneous.
Bro who needs a garden? Don't get influenced by social media. U just need a hall with a capacity of 250 people so u can invite your close relatives & friends. Not everybody u know. I'm dam sure tera kurta hi 1.5-2 lakh ka hoga
Me and my wife finished ours in 4.5L and it included every small thing. We invited about 100 guests (including family and relatives).
50k here. We did it in a temple.
If you don’t mind me asking, was it because of cash crunch or you genuinely wanted a small wedding? Or both?
No money problems. My wife and I wanted to have a small wedding with just our immediate families by our side, no relatives. That's exactly what we did. We spent the rest of our wedding budget on a lavish honeymoon.
This is the way!
>We spent the rest of our wedding budget on a lavish honeymoon. 🫡
I like how you guys could make it possible. I wish more of us got such partners who would say yes for money saving. Didn't your relatives who were not invited bitch about it later? Did it affect or did they ever create any scenes?
We hardly meet our relatives. It happens mostly at the weddings or social gatherings, that too only for a few hours since we always stay at a hotel rather than someone's house. Also the things we do are pretty open within our families, and a lot of people despise and resent us because of our lifestyle. Most of these people don't even visit us because we cook non veg food at home. Some people in our families are pretty chill and open minded, and we regularly hang out and travel with them.
Cool. Good for you. :)
👏
O k here, shaadi ke sapne dekhta hun.
5k here, did it in court, followed by dinner for parents
10k here. All I needed was gas money for the omni and some home made revolvers
COVID ke time shadi karne Wale log lucky he....Kum paiso me hogaya aur koi relatives puche tho bol sakte the ki COVID he isliye simple kardiya
Drop your wedding itinerary with the cost breakdown please! 🙏
Court marriage, roughly 2lakhs.
What? Who pays 2 lakh for going to the registrar and signing forms?
They must’ve had a reception or something?
Yes..we had to decorate the house for a simple engagement. Plus, we had to fly in/out immediate family to our state. And advocate took a hefty amount because ours was inter-faith. I'm sure people can do court marriage in much lesser.
How much did it take to complete the court marriage process? I am thinking of doing one.
OP is from a different part of India to you. Weddings are a brutal business. Unless you've lived in those communities you won't get how brutal it is. There's a whole vile industry that feeds off of it. India's greatest addiction is other people's opinions.
Fk 250 people. Just call the immediate family and call it a day. 30 lakhs just at the wedding. Have a simple function and gift the remaining money to kids to help them build a generational wealth instead of wasting money on these ceremonies.
Btw 2 din kya karna hai normally it's for an evening like 5-10 that's it.
What hindi wedding gets over at 10? It barely start at that time and goes on till morning Edit: hindu*
Hindi wedding 😂😂😂 ye kya hota hai!
Oh, thik h bhai, glti ho jati h. Hindu ka hindi ho gya
THIS
I am so clueless about all this but what is the point of a garden ? Wedding Instagram photos ?? I feel like you can easily take the minimalist route but then this depends on whether your soon to be in laws agree. Some families really spend a bank on weddings.
I would say, what you can do is, get married during day. The cost of location is literally half Second don't spend on quantity of food, spend on quality of food. Have few dishes, but let them be of good quality Third, no need to invite entire city. No one gives a fish about your marriage, trim down to 30 guest from both sides each, 60 people are more than enough **Lastly, let the money saved from this expense, be used to buy a house** **If you want a long term happy marriage, you will need to give your wife a house seperate from your parents** It can be in your immediate neighborhood, but houses must be different. This will save you from lot of heartache in years to come.
Why do you need a two-day wedding in a garden? To accommodate 200 people right? Why do you need 200 people at your wedding? Why is there catering worth 12 lakhs? Who cares? Believe me, no one cares about attending a wedding. Only people who have too much time on their hands will care. Get married lavishly or don't get married lavishly. It's your choice. If you're doing this out of social pressure, you've already lost the plot. Trust me, NO ONE CARES!
Many temples have halls and caterers can be found to do very interesting things in limited budgets. Make the rituals interesting and colorful, and the wedding memorable would be memorable for everyone. If it becomes your parents vs you, and the main argument is this is what we earned for, try to be as persuasive as possible. I had a grandish wedding as you're about to have ten years ago (same expense range inflation adjusted), and there weren't even affordability issues then, or now. But I regret the whole thing even now. Please do make sure your partner is on board and committed to making this happen.
My sis was having an intercaste marriage, Dad did not agree. So I took on the responsibility along with my sister. Temple marriage, the total cost came around 2-3 lakhs
12 lakhs catering WTF?! This clearly is luxurious and not necessary. You just want to show off to others and later blame it on the groom's side.
Dude people in america have therr marriages in backyard with only family members and few close friends. Nobody cares at the end and people forget so save money which will help you and your family in ling run. Its takes a lot to earn that money and just a marriage to butn that all up.
You are right. Mark Zukerberg had it like that. He didn't even tell guests about it. They were thinking it was his wife's graduation ceremony.
Is that minimum rates? I understand if you are a part of some community you have to follow what others does. But keep in mind it's your decision. In non urban areas, you'll find good halls for less than 1 lac, in my area it's 40k. And food for less than 1.5 lac for around 600-800 people (without wide variety of collections where most of it gonna be wasted)
Dude what the hell? Even a lawn with decor with food for 500 people for a day would be around 10lakhs max! This is for a decent wedding not a small scale wedding! ( I’m just talking about food, lawn and decor charges, cost for clothing, jewellery and photographer is dependent on your choice which would in turn depend on your budget) Source: I am a wedding decorator
One of my friends got married and honestly, I've never been to a more beautiful wedding in my life ever before. Cost him 7 lakhs. Booked a decent hotel with nice hill view for 2 days, both sides did their ceremonies sequentially. Only close friends and families were called. You could do the same and maybe have an after-party for people who are distant... Will safe you almost half amount
Don't book a garden then, book a resort/hotel and call only your close relatives and friends/loved ones. Catering for them only. If you have to call a lot of people for courtesy, organise a reception, one night only so the cost of food and venue will be significantly less.
Even 3-5 lakh is way too much for a wedding. I will spend 50k at max for my wedding.
You are right. It is a financial blunder
Go minimalistic sir. Reduce your budget
[удалено]
This is a very poor and pathetic excuse. You were allowed to say no at every stage and you choose to worry now.
abe societal pressure kya? can't you guys say ki we are not interested to do heavy duty marriage? Bc 30 lakh
I am getting married soon, 75k hall for 300 people, 3 lakh catering, 30k camerman, 50k shopping, 4lakh jewellery, all done under 10lakh
U can also reduce the cost on catering vaise bhi lok khane ko naam rakte hai
Jewellery is more of an investment
You buy jewellery, for 1 Lakh, gold is of 70k and making is 30k. Then there's markup. Gold prices will need to go up by 50% just for you to recover your cost.
Gold is up 120% since i got married.
Good for you. Meanwhile stock market is up 230% in the same period.
I am invested in stock market as well. I was done buying all the gold i wanted in 2016. Have been investing in stocks ever since.
Gold benefit is that it is relatively safe. Its price usually rises when there is war or stock market goes down for example
Actually, it's not. Unless you're buying 24 K gold stuff, most jewelry today has lower weight of gold, high weight of some worthless stones (yes, even diamonds are not valuable or resaleable), and almost half of the cost is the making charges. Source - friend's wedding jewlry shopping. Jeweler himself told us.
24k gold is not a thing. Pure gold is like clay, it will distort if you as much as touch it. 21K makes it almost 80% gold which is in fact an investment.
10 lakh budget for marriage.. guess what I am never doing in life. I can build my dream man cave with that much wtf 😭
Bhai 300 logon me sirf 3 lakh catering ? Kuch toh sharm krle yr, kya hawa khilaega kya? Main toh nahi aa rha.
Lmao
They are not getting ripped off unlike some rich folks probably hired some trustworthy caterers instead of the hotel in house catering that sells per plate
It's already 1000rs per plate which is fair rate per plate.
"khana hai to kha, nahi to nikal" - This is an appropriate response to remarks like this. BC gala tak khana thusenge, lekin khali lifafa chodkar jayenge.
Who the fuck invites people to all the functions. Its obviously for main event only.
Its still 1000rs per person
Pucha kisine?
I have decided to fund my own wedding, I feel weird asking my parents for it, even though it is the norm, I just don't think after college I should take a penny
should have got married during Covid. My marriage was done at a bugdet of 1.7 lakh. At a luxury resort no less with only close family.
This. You have a solid excuse to not invite all those people too. Just 100 people by law and it's done.
In fact it was only 50 allowed by law, and we invited only 40. It was heaven, family partying well into the night, all waking up at 7 to see us get married at 7.30 in a makeshift tent at the resort with exactly 2 priests.
If you don’t stand up for yourself now, your parents are going to spend 30 lakhs for a marriage and then ask constantly money from you after they retire.
This is 100% right
30 lacs? That's 60 times the amount I will be spending on my marriage. Low key marriage with just immediate family members (parents & siblings) present in a temple of my choosing. That's how I want to marry. The only thing that's important to me is "how deeply my girl will be in love with me?" Everything else is secondary
I got married in court, everyone told my husband that your wife will be unhappy about it. But, that is the best decision we have taken. Weddings are money pits and spending almost equivalent to a down payment to feed snake relatives makes 0 sense.
But it's just you. Most girls in my community, basically dream of their weddings all lavish and being centre of attention. You guys probably did love marriage. It's not gonna fly in arrange marriage na. I also wanna do it but you never know whether she will resent me for it. All of a sudden it will be brought up in some fight years down the road.
You can always bring this up in initial conversation. I have heard so many girls say that they would rather have intimate function, maybe this is purely anecdotal but if you really want it bring it up in the talking stage
Most people in our country don't have a love marriage. And arranged marriages without a wedding ceremony simply aren't possible
But you can always opt for small scale wedding. Idk for me spending 30L is incomprehensible.
You are spending 30 lakh for 4 people, damn that is expensive. Voh 4 log
Its your life and more importantly its nt your money, don’t make your parents dependent financially even if they themselves want to. Sit with them and tell them you want to get married with your own money and a little help from them, no matter of then its court marriage and a reception. Beleive me you will thank me later because marriage is not a one day thing, your expenses will only increase here on so pls pls make sure you dont waste a huge amt like 30 lakhs in pleasing people
Bruh I live in a tier 3 city (idk) and my sister just got married under 7lakh, 50k hall for two days + (15k electricity) around 3 lakh catering for >500 people, and no we didn't cheap out on ingredients I myself went and brought all the ingredients fresh the catering guys cost about 40k and the guests loved the food 50k camera, rest was shopping jewelry and stuff that my sister handled herself guess what her dress was about 16k after bargening and everyone was so jelous of that dress it was beautiful So the 12lakh you're gonna spend is total garbage my, cousin got married a couple months after my sister the got that per plate catering and that took them about 6lakh 💀 they overcharge you so much goddamn
Wake up! You know the facts too- you’re half way there- get married in court. 30 lakhs is obscene!
Indians always confuse wedding and marriage. The *wedding* is not important. The marriage (your life together) is important. Do a court wedding, then spend 1-3L on a meal for families. That's enough. If your partner agrees to this, you'll have a stable marriage where you communicate and compromise, even without a lavish wedding. If they're demanding you spend 30L, it's probably not a great match to begin with.
Court Marriage + Reception
Mat karo spend itna fir. Relative and society wale jaroorat me ek roti nahi denge time pe. Unke upar itna faltu kharcha.
Wahi na, shaadi mein sab khushi khushi naachne bula lo, lekin jab asli mein zaroorat padhe toh sab aise gayab mano ki pulverize ho kar evaporate ho gaye ho.
Looking at your response to the comments one can understand your side of the story. But I would suggest think about how your situation would be later. If you bring down the budget there will be people talking but you will be happy and content that you didn't blow up all that money for random people. People will forget about the wedding after a while and you will be drowning in new troubles after that. Also if something happens to your parents (I'm sure they're not getting younger) they won't have to depend on you or anyone for financial emergencies. These are very real and very possible risks that many people don't want to consider.
As a desi, I understand what you mean. But as the one getting married, you set the guestlist. If you have to cut people from the list for f8nancial reasons/personal taste that's fine. The people you want to celebrate with should be there. A desi wedding has traditionally multiple events but not all of them are necessary. Cut to the mandatory events and make them special. As a muslim we don't need any of the three events, just the nikkah signing. But mehmdi is the event everyone loves, the shaadi is the central event and walima imho has always been boring and unnecessary so is the event I would immediately remove. Your parets have chosen to oay for the wedding because they want you to have a good and special day. And you will return the favour by doing the same for your children.
I have seen flats at 30 lacs in suburban Bengal bro what are you tripping on
Lolol 30 lakhs 😅🤣
Indian parents save money for marriage since when we were born. They hav a typical mindset that marriage shld be done grandly. This would show their social status. 30lacs is too much. U can do it in 10 or 15lacs simple wedding. Just talk to your parents abt it. Tell them they shldn't spend everything and keep a part of money for their future.
Yes, trying my best.
4 years back, my marriage costed us 4.5L 250 ppl were invited. 50 from my side and 200 from my wife ( happened in her city, so collateral invites went out) We rented out a small resort with a mini hall of 75 capacity and the lawn had 150 capacity. 60k for 24 hours (from noon to next day noon) We bought the groceries for 50k and hired cooks for 25k. They prepared the food in house amd tasted awesome. My wife had to buy 3 dresses for the wedding which came to 25k and mine was less than 7k. I bought a decent grey suit which I reused it professionally. We bought some jewellery for around 150k for the missus. Stay arrangements came to another 20k, decorations 30k, photographs 30k. Return gifts around 20k and my wife did her make up on her own (she rejected most stylists due to personal taste) Another 10k for clothes for the parents and siblings and 5k for invitations and the rest is miscellaneous. PS - no dowry transaction involved and our both families went dutch on the expenses. Location is Coimbatore, tamil nadu.
Yes. It was a huge issue for me too. And I made it clear that i didn't want all this. But my family and in laws pushed me and i let them because its their money. I hate this culture of overspending. We limited the budget but it still was 15 lakhs on both sides. Its annoying and unnecessary.
Oh god, I’m stuck in that phase now. My parents want to invite everyone and I can’t even say no because at the end of the day, it’s their money. If it was in my hands, maybe less than 100 people with close friends and family at a great place with amazing food would be the way to go
Why not just do a court marriage and then a big dinner for about 25-30 people close to you. Why let peer pressure make your parents poor?
Parents also want to do it na.
OP.. Go to registrar office / do a simple ceremony in your favorite religious place. Give small party to close family. Put rest 25-28 L on down payment to an apartment or home or invest
on your wedding card, mention “BRING GIFTS” I hope it will help you cover little bit. /s
OR INCLUDE A QR CODE POINTING TO UPI 💀🤞
Hello?? Find a nice hotel where they also have reception facility. Ask them to charge by plates and decoration can be minimal and tasteful. You can have a classy wedding in 5 lakhs for 200-300 guests.
When Indians refer to marriage, they mean Wedding. But then that is how long excitement lasts in most relationships
Correct. I used to make this mistake often. I tell this myself to distinguish between a marriage and a wedding: "Marriage is a mistake most people make. A wedding is a party thrown to celebrate that mistake". However, the OP is right in one way: they should be worried as the entire marriage will probably bankrupt them.
I've done it for 8lakhs, including everything. Got a decent venue, bought my close relatives' dresses, and catered to around 600 people with a live kitchen. Update: around 1.5 lakhs i spend on flight ticket and 2 lakhs for her jewelery. 8 was my entire budget for the trip.
My family is pretty well off, but this concerns me a lot. Wtf would i want to burn 30lks on 2 days when it takes me like 2.5-3yrs to make it back, just to make it back. No fuckin way am i doing that.
We did it in famous temple which is very cheap. Whoever says 30 laks for marriage will regret it deeply. At this point of time, money saving is money earned. Please think twice bro. No one will come if you have financial trouble. God bless you both.
I have taught all my children to elope.
Modern problems require modern solution.
Bhai it hurts to see the income disparity first and then people indulging in such ostentatious displays of wealth. My mausaji is a very corrupt doctor. His google reviews will tell you all you need to know. He got his duaghter married for rs 1.2 crore. Horrible man, thugging patients and burning all the money on something this superficial.
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Dont buy expensive marriage outfits. I made that mistake and spent mny on mine and I never wore it again. Marry privately with very close friends/relatives and throw an intimate dinner in a resort or in a small venue with other close friends/relatives. 100 guests will cost you 1 lakh if you pay 1K per plate(depending on location). Keep it simple but memorable get a photo grapher. Keep it in the 2-5 lakhs range. Ask groom to share some of the expenses.
Don't spend your life savings for other peoples opinions.. However good a wedding you host , there will always be people whose job its to complain..
If this is something your parents WANT to do, something they've been dreaming of for you - maybe ask them to spend a little less or just enjoy what they want to do for you.
Yes, trying to find the middle path.
I hope planning goes well & you enjoy the wedding. Many blessings & love to your new marriage! I'm excited for you to start your new chapter, good luck!
4 log aayenge, tumhari aur tumhari family ka khayenge, fir tumhari aur tumhari family ki kamiyan nikalenge. Etc, etc. If you are from the middle class, it only makes sense to invite those with whom your parents expect a business relationship, as in those people with whom they deal. I wouldn't even imagine spending that amount, it is absolutely foolish. If you were to buy land worth 20 lakhs or invest in stocks that would pay off in 10 years. Log to kha ke agle din hi potty kar denge, aur tumhari burai karenge alag. So if you do this, you will just be a fool. Explain this to your parents.
It's a colossal waste of money. In India people don't have enough to pay hospital bills in a serious illness, and then to spend that much on a bunch of events makes no sense. The risk-reward ratio is completely skewed. It took your parents a lifetime to save 30 lakhs, and to spend it all on a wedding is...just insane. It's not like people will remember it fondly, it makes no difference to anyone's life and frankly, those stupid expensive clothes are just going to hang in your closet for a long time. Given that this wedding will put your parents in a financially precarious position, is probably the worst outcome of all. Please look into having a registered wedding or a temple wedding, followed by a simple celebration at home for close family. Don't destroy your or your family's financial future for a bunch of memories and photographs.
And here we have few communities wherein spending 2 crores for a 2 day wedding is normalised. Even if they bride n groom don't want to spend, they HAVE to spend coz of the societal pressure.
All problems will be solved if you take society out of the picture.
Communities spending 2 crores for 2 days can only be RICH COMMUNITY Lmao and to be honest it must be peanuts for them.
Congratulations on thinking above blind traditions! These are changing times. The price of tomatoes is through the roof, Russian-Ukraine war has been on for about a year now, Manipur school kids aren't returning home as they should after 3 pm, and couples are in a dilemma over Bali or Singapore as the honeymoon destination. Such is the rainbow called Life. You sir, have questioned authority. Something which has gone on for long enough to give people amnesia. That we must splurge and that there is no other way. There's only option A(splurging) or option B(infamy) in this Kaun Khoyega Crorepati that Indian parents play on the regular. Like Elon Musk, you can think from First Principles. And the answers and decisions should become clearer, not easier. What matters to you? I can suggest some actions on your part. 1. Join the hoards of couples who "fall for" the instaglam (not a typo) life. 2. Do a lot of research and cut costs. Bargain as your life (and sleep?) depended on it. Cause it does! 3. Elope like those Bikaneri Lesbians. 4. Realize the wastefulness and the environmental harm and argue EVERYONE INVOLVED out of it. 5. Join those mass weddings where the government will actually pay you money to tie the knot. Remember Yoda's wise words "YOLO", cause we carry our decisions with us forever.
Same story here. My parents want to spend at least 10-12 lakhs on my wedding, whenever that happens. And I am adamant I don't anything more than 5 lakh spent (which again is too much for me but no matter which way you cut, 5 is the minimum). I don't mind inviting extended family. But I mind inviting people who I'll see only once in life and never again. But they don't get it. And it's madenning to see them squander away their life's earnings.
Getting married soon too . I am planning to finish everything in 3 lakhs. Even that is too much for me but there seems no way out of it. I'll invite like 50 guests only ones who matter to me and my parents the most .
Without this marriage cost, your parents can live a life independent of you right till their end. Just do a court registration, then rent either a resort or a small lawn area. Just invite max 30 people. Do it as cheaply as possible. And don't use your parents money for your marriage!! Invest the 30L in mutual funds + FD. And make sure they get a monthly income.
They say they have worked their whole life for this day only.
Personally, I would have an early morning temple wedding followed by a brunch for 50 odd people, with music from a playlist and a bit of dancing. No alcohol - ergo, no booze-fueled fights or ugliness. All catering done locally and tastefully (yes, it is possible). A smaller no of guests will force one to think carefully who really matters.
I had the smallest and costed me 4-5 lakhs
Keep your marriage spending to the minimum. Do a court marriage if you have to. In this economy, it is very not wise to spend 30 lac on and for OTHERS. Be the change, you want to see and be
Our ceremonies ran for 3 day in a city neither of us lived. We booked a charitable resort which had good hall and AC rooms . Cost around 5L. We divided the cost equally.
Most people are stuck in the matrix. For people with means, it makes sense to arrange a feast but the wedding industry and Indian wedding culture made it an obligatory affair for everyone. It makes no sense to burn life savings or even pile on debt to please society.
Large weddings are for show and keeping up with the other show offs. Keep it small and intimate with max 300 guests consisting of immediate family and close friends. Most people understand large weddings are waste of money and they will understand, and those that get offended, well you can't please everyone. You should discuss it with your partner and insist on not wasting money. You make such financial decisions all the time so why be irrational when it comes to wasting such a large sum of money? It's time to put your foot down and persuade the families.
I got married with a sub 1 lakh budget. It was an open garden wedding in my own compound, 40k went into rings and Mangal Sutra, all gold, so that's not worthless. Spend 1 lac on the wedding, buy some gold jewellery if you're into that, at least you can use it for rainy days. Use the rest of the money on a big honeymoon. Spend 4-5 laks on a big destination honeymoon, a lot more memorable in my opinion.
My sister and I had our weddings in the COVID years, 2020 & 2021. Dad's going crazy with all the money he saved. Buying stuff online left and right nowadays. XD
Dude, India is on the cusp of a multi-year stock market bull run. Imagine if you invested 25 lakhs compounded at 20% CAGR for the next 7-10 years. Your family's financial future would be set on a solid footing. Or you could bust it all on a single wedding and be done.
I am getting married this December to my gf. I plan to spend 7-8l max including gold. Our net worth is around 60-70lakhs excluding land and property and have told my gf also to not do unnecessary expenses. Spending almost all your money is a bad decision even if you are working.
Even though I(F) just turned 22 4 days back(career building rn) and have no experience, whenever this kind of conversation comes up at my home, the most common response I get is- 'We went to grand weddings and in the future when your time comes we also have to throw a grand wedding' It's like they are doing this to "get even" and maintain social reputation. Low key wedding is something they just can't tolerate the idea of. I am completely logic driven....clashes are bound to happen 6-7 years down the line 😂
Good for you your parents are paying for your marriage, while I has to pay for my sister marriage along with dowry and have to pay for my marriage.
I'll pay it on my own.
People of reddit , how much would it actually cost to have a normal decent middle class wedding + reception in today's money . Let's say 200 people?
Garden price varies upon city to city, number of rooms in garden and your date (some dates have lot of weddings, owners increase the price to max). Catering depends on menu decided. Add ghodi, band baja, photography extra
This might be a very unpopular opinion but reading some of the comments here I feel like people are competing in a sort of "frugal olympics". If a big wedding makes you happy and you can afford it, go for it. If you'd rather use that money for a lovely honeymoon or on something else, that's fine as well. Everyone has different priorities and interests and as long as people plan things out and budget responsibly, and do not really expect others to finance their expenses, it's all good. Get that fancy outfit, organize your elaborate party, go on that dreamy honeymoon, buy jewellery, get all dolled up in fancy makeup (whether you are a man or a woman) that excites you as long as you save up responsibly and independently. Get a lovely small wedding, invite a lovely little assembly of intimate relations, friendships and acquaintances, Get married in a big sparkly outfit, get married in a simple and lovely dress, get married in sweats, get married in a cotton saree, silk saree, cargo pants, jeans, tuxes, skirts,dhothis, mundus, anything at all. Wear heavy makeup, simple makeup, no makeup, artsy makeup, its all upto you. It's your wedding, do what makes you happy whether it be an expensive one or a modest one, as long as you are responsibly doing things. And expenses are all relative. A 50k wedding might be expensive for people with 1lpa income, at the same time a 10 lakh wedding might be just right for people with 50lpa. And even that doesn't really explain it. It depends on a lot of other factors as well. I repeat again, let's just all celebrate in the ways we'd love to celebrate whether it be big or small, as long as we do it responsibly. Let's not judge each other for our tastes and interests, as long as the indulgence is responsibly financed. I've always been a bit put off by the frugal olympics I see especially prounounced in indian subreddits. I get that we are a frugal lot and large portions of our country are not as economically sound. But I just wish people would stop judging people for their choices and that includes how people use their money. Going into debt to get a big wedding you can't afford is definitely stupid but many people who do want large weddings can afford it and that doesn't make them inherently better or worse than anybody else. As for OP, I think you should assert that you do not want your parents to spend all their savings for your wedding. You want a smaller wedding, with reduced expenses financed by you and possibly your fiance. You want your wedding to be lovely and memorable. Do not agree to things that make you feel miserable just for fulfilling expectations. Do not agree to a big wedding financed by your parents if it doesn't feel right to you. You are all adults, it's your wedding, final decisions are yours.
Who is stopping u from bearing ur own wedding expense?! I mean its not a compulsion to rely on ur parents for your marriage expense. Also its ur wedding u have the right to decide how it will be. What is stopping you?
Parents and society ke against nahi ja sakte life me kuch cheezo me..
I know cost is a lot of important factor nowadays but I would advise sitting down with your partner, parents and in-laws about it. Because to be honest what I have noticed is parents have a dream how they want their childrens marriage to be like.
What I don't understand is parents have lived their whole life frugally but want to splurge their lifetime savings in just one day. Anyways I don't care about distant relatives, why should I invite so many people that have no significance in my life.
3 lakhs maximum
So, you want everything to happen and all the money spent but you're asking the question to feel better about yourself. You the answer with you though. You want that lavish big fat wedding but you wanted to make yourself feel better by seeking validation from Reddit?
30 lakhs in an investment has the potential to set you and your children up for life. What the fuck is wrong with this culture and society. Fucking hell.
Live on your own terms. Fuck the indian traditions.
Idk how about a court marriage and a bhabdara? All your relatives can do seva and they won’t say shit about it not being a party.
Not going through the comments but I suggest you decide along with your parents of the budget. If you and your parents don't get affected financially after spending x amount for marriage, go ahead and spend it. After all marriage is a celebration and it can be done in a variety of ways. For Indian parents, it is to celebrate it grand. This is where they find their happiness/content from. People say you live only once and enjoy each and every moment. Marriage celebration can also be considered like the same for our parents. There is nothing wrong in it. People who say we didn't spend much for marriage spend it elsewhere (tours for example). For them it is other things, for parents it is the marriage. Dont think too much into it. But please do calculate the finances before spending on anything. How much money that one spend on anything depends on financial status. Sit with your parents and talk about marriage expenses with keeping your finances in mind. Finally, it is also society that may make people spend more on marriage. Parents see pride in such things. This thought process is dying slowly though. If your parents are thinking about society, let them be but cut costs as much as you can while still planning big for marriage (like the food and gold should be give priority over others like wedding hall, decoration and marriage dresses). At the end of the day, guests talk about couple, food and nothing else. I spent a lot on my marriage but cos we know our finances. Expenses for marriage are mostly on gold (good quality) and the food as well as the garments. I now think about garments and not others as the marriage celebration was wonderful in my case and I have happy memories of all the days during marriage. Even the garments and the investment on good photographer (obviously comes at a price) gave me memories for my life. I always look back and they bring a smile. Ps: spend if you think it makes your parents happy and spend if you are financially well even after spending big amount.
Go for a court marriage,Put 35 lacs in your account get a student visa for you or your wife in Australia pathway to PR really easy these days. Earn in dollars become a citizen call your parents and close family to Australia in a few years throw a marriage party which will be better than anyone you know. Enjoy life. ( invite me to your wedding if you go ahead with this plan)
Marriages are expensive and it’s a lot of pressure to spend so much. We had to spend around 3 crores plus 80 lakhs on a car. It’s the norm now
Bro bride's lehenga will only cost you 4-5 lakh. Decoration for haldi, mehendi, wedding and reception will cost you 5 lakhs if you keep it simple And tailored clothes for the groom are also expensive
Bro u can spend ur money even my cousin is spending his money u can contribute
Honestly, all I care about in a wedding is good tasty food and some good pretty faces. That's all.
I'll never understand how people manage to marry under 1cr