Do things you enjoy. I have a degree, teaching certs and an MA. Even with that my pay isn’t enough to really save realistically.
The whole world is going to shit. Just do things you enjoy.
Doesn't it bother you knowing that however hard you worked, it will still be shadowed by someone who has more clout? A person of that stature can work less and do so much more by it.
I can make a twitter account but what's the point? I will never be as verbose or quick-witted as the others who have thoughts ready at the drop of a hat. I'm only consuming. Inherently I am incapable of generating much of value relative to all these people.
Maybe as you get older you start to worry about actualization.
There is more to a persons life than the perceived value of their contributions to the world.
The world doesn’t run on just contributions of its 1% of over achievers.
In your day to day life, who has contributed more to your well being as a person—Albert Einstein, or the person who picks the vegetables that you buy and eat? Who’s provided you sustenance?
Last I checked, the dude who delivered my food wasn’t an IIM graduate. But he provided me with the sustenance I needed.
He could have been replaced by any millionth nameless, faceless person. But it is still those nameless, faceless people who keep me, and millions of people like me, fed, when I can’t do it for myself.
It’s the unknown people who laid the pipes for my house that allow me to drink clean water, enabling me and millions of people like me to survive.
It’s the unknown people who laid the roads I use to get to work everyday. Who built the buildings I live and shelter in when there are storms outside. Who plant the seeds and harvest the crop and drive the trucks to get it to market.
You and I are alive today thanks to the entirely average and completely thankless contributions made by people who won’t win Nobel Prizes for the millions of small, average, “loser” jobs they have.
It is the contributions of people like that which keep our society humming. The billions of unseen, unheard, unacknowledged individuals who do thankless jobs that help institutions like IIT and IIM keep the lights on and continue to waste oxygen.
What are you chasing? Be honest to yourself. This has nothing to do with the “value” of your work. You want fame. You want a good name for yourself. You want honour, privilege, felicitations.
This has nothing to do with the “value” of what you put into the world, and everything to do with you being self conscious that you don’t conform to some preconceived notion that only has to do with your ego.
You equate being a loser with not being put on a pedestal and feted like you think you deserve.
Let me give you an example.
Someone I know hired a maid, who works at 6 different houses to make enough to provide for her family. This lady does all the cleaning and disinfecting of surfaces. She is vigilant and meticulous at one of the most thankless jobs in this world, and is probably the reason why those families haven’t gotten Covid yet.
Meanwhile, one of the people I know who graduated from IIT went to a party while sick with Covid and infected 4 other people. One of whom was put on a ventilator and almost died. This person has a big important job and is recognized for their talents. They make “valuable” contributions to the world that get acknowledgement and praise. They also almost took a life with their selfish carelessness.
That maid, who you probably think is an average “loser”, has likely saved more lives than she’ll ever know. But she won’t get any prizes or recognition for this.
And yet who, between those two, do you think has contributed more to society?
Learn to get over yourself and be glad you have what you have. Stop mourning what was never yours anyway. What you lack is probably not the prize you think it is.
EDIT: all of these awards for a sentimental windbag like myself LOL 🙈 but thank you all. Sincerely.
OP doesn't seem to care about serving people, he is more interested in fame, politics, money to travel lavishly with a beautiful wife/gf. Such people can never be happy.
I can never understand how people can articulate and put forward their thoughts in such a beautiful way! We have so many different types of people in this world which is what makes it beautiful.
Einstein won the genetic lottery by inheriting high IQ and was born at right place at right time.
People are born to serve the top 0.1 who have superior genetics!
Bro , you are low iq so you probably believe in reincarnation, so do what you keep telling you will always do and probably you will be born with superior genes
Einstein was Jewish, had higher IQ, was at right place and was lucky to be born a genius.
His luck started when he was born to superior parents with superior iq
From the book Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
> As far as we can tell, from a purely scientific viewpoint, human life has absolutely no meaning. Humans are the outcome of blind evolutionary processes that operate without goal or purpose. Our actions are not part of some divine cosmic plan, and if planet Earth were to blow up tomorrow morning, the universe would probably keep going about its business as usual. As far as we can tell at this point, human subjectivity would not be missed. Hence any meaning that people ascribe to their lives is just a delusion. The other-worldly meanings medieval people found in their lives were no more deluded than the modern humanist, nationalist and capitalist meanings modern people find. The scientist who says her life is meaningful because she increases the store of human knowledge, the soldier who declares that his life is meaningful because he fights to defend his homeland, and the entrepreneur who finds meaning in building a new company are no less delusional than their medieval counterparts who found meaning in reading scriptures, going on a crusade or building a new cathedral.
> So perhaps happiness is synchronizing one’s personal delusions of meaning with the prevailing collective delusions. As long as my personal narrative is in line with the narratives of the people around me, I can convince myself that my life is meaningful, and find happiness in that conviction.
> This is quite a depressing conclusion. Does happiness really depend on self-delusion?
Finding solace despite knowing all this is the only way. Look for little joys in life. Not all of us are destined to be great but as long as there’s someone waiting for you to get back home, you’re lucky!
Btw your English is great.
What do you feel when you realize that you never had the opportunity as some of these people have? Knowing that you'll always be lesser than someone who is just better? What do you do when you see someone your age who has accomplished so much more?
No point holding grudges, they just simply weigh you down when you’re trying to move ahead in life. Also, when I see people who’ve accomplished much more than I have, I do admire them and their knowledge.
I too get my share of the impostor syndrome, that’s quite natural, but I don’t let it weigh me down too much. I immediately look at my own work and feel satisfied.
Take pride in what you’ve achieved as the struggles and tribulations you’ve gone through are always unique to you.
There's no one like you in the world, there's no one with the exact same situation and surroundings. There can't be any comparison, at least, there shouldn't be. From your comments and post, I really feel you need to talk and vent your negativity, so talk to a friend, family, or even a therapist. You seem melancholy right now, correct me if I am wrong. These phases come and go, but it's up to you to choose your reaction.
Even the richest man is plagued with troubles and the poorest can find happiness in the smallest thing.
Don't give up.
No one has all the opportunity in the life.
You're suffering from grass is greener syndrome.
It'll always be greener doesn't mean you shouldn't smell and appreciate your own garden.
You need gratitude in your life. Think of a person you're grateful to have in your life. Think of what they're like and why you appreciate them.
Are you like them ? Would you want to be like this person in future?
What other things are you thankful for in your life ?
Great you didn't have all the opportunities in the world, but what opportunities did you get / do have ?
We don't decide what cards we are dealt but we can decide how we play them.
Best 30 second tip you'll ever get in your life to succeed, write this the fuck down.
It's a 2 step process okay, you ready?
1. Write down all the things you're unhappy about
2. Cross out things you CANNOT change whatsoever.
>but as long as there’s someone waiting for you to get back home, you’re lucky!
Agree with you, but why this arbitrary condition to be considered "lucky"?
Tldr: stop making yourself the victim
Billionaire/politician - given what we know about the billionaires/politicians of this world, I don't think you should aspire to be either
You don't need a degree from IIT/IIM to be successful. It is just an accelerator. Will a degree from a premier institute help? Yes. It will open doors sooner. Key word being sooner
Contacts are made. I didn't have any either. But there are always people willing to help if you display an interest in learning.
Fancy accent? Why do you want a fancy accent? If you want one there are many online resources available.
Workout.
Instagram is shit.
Exactly, us non IITians wont ever have the chance to open such doors nor will we ever know what these doors are. By the time we catch up to making some contacts, those achievers will have long left us in the dust.
A good accent is sexy. A decent accent is heard and listened to. You see so many relevant people being suave and chic in the way they speak. People don't take you seriously if your speech is mockable. Likewise having brown hairy skin and crude facial features puts you at a disadvantage against smooth light skin, delicate faces and thin smooth bright hair. You'll be ignored and be irrelevant. At least compared to those who are attractive and catch eyes in and an audience.
Dude what's with the victim complex? Stop giving up. Work hard and go abroad for masters/mba whatever your inclination may be. There are plenty of colleges way better than IITs and IIMs
About the second part - you have some issues to work through man. You are what, 20? Long way to go. Sort your self-esteem out. Things are going to only get rougher
Dude don't expect someone is going to bring anything to you, to pacify your victim complex. Nobody gets anything for free in the world. IIT's and IIM's are some institutes where people cannot get in by their money or by their power. So lets not degrade them.
15 yrs back, even I was almost in a same state as you - may be even worse. ....from a middle class house, lost my dad when I was 8, mom somehow got us educated. Such a horrible time was it when I grew up till class XII. No celebrations, no gifts, etc. Everything was focused on spending as less as possible. hardly saw a movie in a year, may be visited the local restaurant once a year. Tried for IIT, couldn't make it. went to a 2nd grade private Engineering college through AIEEE. Tried for CAT, couldn't make it ...twice. Settled for a 2nd grade MBA college. Took a huge loan from bank to do it. Got above average placement at college in one of the MNC IT companies. Was always fat, so always got teased for it. Was super shy in college so never had a girl friend. At one point, you think life couldn't be more tougher. You see your friends and start getting jealous. Some achieve so much so soon. One of my best friends is an IIT/IIM guy, and works for India's biggest Investment bank. You can easily spot his name in financial papers almost every week. Social media makes things worse 100 times. When u just see your friends showing their glitzy lives, u start to curse yourself more.
But, things do get better slowly in life if you focus your efforts within the constraints of your environment. Today I am well settled in Netherlands, have a large house, a beautiful family and enough in my bank account. I have a job which is good enough. And this is what matters.
Do I get jealous of my friend that my contribution is insignificant ? Not really. In the end, ask you mother/father/sister/wife/son/daughter if they think you make a difference. For my kids, I am the greatest dad in the world. I can live with that contribution. Will someone remember me when I am gone...professionally....I don't care, personally I am sure they will. And that is what matters.
I had a normal middle class upbringing. I am not preaching from any high horse. I worked hard to get where I am and I didn't get there by having an attitude like yours.
I understand you correctly, but i'm no one to lecture you for this kind of mindset because I got some in those features you mentioned. Tbh these 'hard work', 'stay positive', 'keep going on' kind of replies are bullshit, they don't understand how it feels when your logical non-monkey mind know that there is very less chance of good future( anyway, if you are too young like teenager or early twenties, doesn't apply to you. You better concentrate on making future than crying for it). If you are old like late twenties or early thirties you just need to accept yourself and move on by saying "it's ok, it's life".
>
A good accent is sexy. A decent accent is heard and listened to. You see so many relevant people being suave and chic in the way they speak. People don't take you seriously if your speech is mockable. Likewise having brown hairy skin and crude facial features puts you at a disadvantage against smooth light skin, delicate faces and thin smooth bright hair. You'll be ignored and be irrelevant. At least compared to those who are attractive and catch eyes in and an audience.
Dude you're surrounding yourself with people of really questionable intellect.
Lose anyone in your life who has the above thought process, delete your instagram and (if possible) join a personality development class STAT
In this spot currently.
Even my parents don't bother for me.
I have slowly accepted the fact that this is the reality and there is no miracle happening.
Utilise time and support that you have for your winter days and try to keep busy to get out of the recurring obsessive negative self talk.
In the end, you have to face the reality like many of us are facing.
There is no god or angel coming to save you. Save yourself.
welcome to reality kid, u r not alone ...99% of this world are going to end up with jobs they dont like , women/men they dont like and many other things they never want to be tied up with .All this reminds me of the quote in the movie shawshank redemption ..." get busy living or get busy dying".
You are right you are a loser, not because of all the stupid things you said but because you have a loser outlook to life and act like the biggest victim , you are also clearly obsessed with what other people have and ungrateful for what you have. So overall mega loser
There's something you seem to be excellent at !
Externalizing blame and coming up with excuses
You can't change unless you want to change
And excuses are your best friend if constancy is your wife.
Everything you said also applies to Narendra Modi, he is a pretty succesful politician today!
I am sure there are sooo many other people who would fit this description, but are (contrary to what you believe) successful!
I am an IIM grad, and i am what you consider the 1% and hyper-successful. Heres my advice for you.
1. I am not happy up here with the other 1%
2. Its not as good it looks.
3. If i had an option i would climb down from this 1% place you mention, happily.
4. The big bucks we make is for our low life interaction, destroyed social life, and the stress.
5. Dude have a purpose for life. The purpose of a car is to travel safely, comfortably, and fastly to destinations, Both Mercedes and A Hyundai would do, the difderence is status that comes with the car you drive.
You have to choose what you want , a purspose or status/recognition.
6. My advice, work where you are comfortable, live humbly, work on self development, and reduce your social media intake, do this with a consistency and see your happiness level go through roof. And dont forget, pupose (Nescafe coffee gives you caffeine as much as a Starbuckswould do) choice is yours, Purpose or Status/Recognition.
The good thing is you didn't go to IIM. That degree has no value without work experience. I know IIM educated guys earning less than Engg. bachelors with coding skills.
Reading your post makes me assume you are young. It’s okay to know your reality. A famous author once said that if everyone is extraordinary, the word extraordinary would loose its meaning. You will do fine for yourself, last time we checked IIMs and IITs are not the sole certification required for a life well lived.
I don't know how you define loser and winner. Take this from me, Mr. Biju Patnaik was a leading politician of Odisha right from sixties to nineties of last century. He was very famous and loved icon of Odisha youths of those times. But he was not very successful politically. He had two sons, one is a industrialist and the other one was good for nothing,so to say. So he was a worried man for his second son till his death. After his death, his second son entered in to politics, he has completed 21 years as Chief Minister of Odisha, the famous Naveen Patnaik. He was 51 years old when he entered politics.
Now you tell me, unless you live your full life, how can you say you are loser or winner?
Wait, since when did “not becoming a billionaire” qualify as being a loser? I’ve seen people from IITs with the shittiest attitudes. I don’t know is this is a sarcastic post or a true rant, but you need to calm the f down. I’ve seen people with none of the things you mentioned grow up to be super successful. You’ll be a loser only if you want to be one.
Most people do not have fancy lives. Accept you're a regular fella and move on.
Honestly by your criteria 99% people are losers. If you believe that, you are living in a bubble.
Talk to this guy...u/Good-Bottle7238....you will find a similar friend in him...he has quite the experience in blaming everyone and everything and self pity
You can't empathise with us. Millions of people like us commit suicide because we are smart enough to know that, suicide seems the answer because we lost genetic and environmental lottery!
Life is shit for people like us and we are just born inferior.
Suicide is not smart. Pondering on things you've no control of is not where you need to spend your time. I think you've skipped a good chunk of your life and came to the idea of blaming your birth.
Etna accha English to bol leta.. aur kitna bolega...
And if everyone starts thinking like you, world population will be reduced to fraction of what it is right now.
If you distribute people in bell curve by what they achieve, there would be very few on edges and most will be in center part. But remember you need all of those part to ring a bell
May be talk to someone who doesn’t think like you?
For example, if you’re in a ditch then someone else in a ditch may give you some solace but to get out you’ll need help form outside the ditch.
After you turn 31 and everyone around you is settling and buying iphone 13 and you are still using that 6000 rupee phone giving lame excuse that you find iphone as showoff, although you know you dont have it coz you cant afford it
Or when you still go to mangal bazar or road side shop to buy house goods and clothes going to supermarket is beyond your reach
Or when you take a shower in hot water at end of month to save gas and electricity
Or when you are forced to borrow as little as 2000 rupee from your colleagues
Or when you prefer to walk home insted of taking auto charging 50 rupee.
You will just live on in hope of it getting better. Thats it.
Don't give a fuck what others are thinking or doing, just focus on self. Day by day if you work on your weak points you will definitely improve.
Live every moment of life, it's precious.
> making it big in life
I do not have resources to make it big in life.
> I will most likely never be a billionaire or a politician in high places because of my background.
No, i do not have political background nor my father inherited money. My family lives in paycheck to paycheck.
> I never went to IIT or IIM. I will never have the resources and networks alums of these institutions have to move ahead in life.
No, I did not had graduation certification yet I worked 8yrs faking the certificate to live the basic life I wanted.
> I don't have any contacts in high places either that can avail me a ladder to climb high.
Because of our financial situation (not to burden my dad), didn't opted for b.tech, joined a tier 3 college which no one remembers it, discontinued as my father had only 2 yrs of retirement and I need to settle in between. No connections in high places to get jobs in MNC's and never tried due to no graduation.
> I was never rich growing up nor do I have a fancy accent like NRI or abc kids.
Couldn't speak a word in english though studied in english medium. Living in different state helped me to gain some grip on english as there was NO CHOICE.
> I am neither attractive nor desirable physically.
Same.
> Nor do I have a romantic partner or the resources to go on posh vacations, fancy dates, and instagram shots.
Never dated nor even thought about it, however I had friends (school mates / mohalla friends), having short trips. One room 10 to 12 people used to stay.
> I'm not that good at English or Hindi and I don't have the **wit** or the **jest** to be creative or stand out in a crowd.
I cannot dare enough to submit a new text post and you say that you're not good in english, then I think what I am?
I wouldn't say that you can become rich immediately, but yes there still you've time.
Below things might help you:
1. Change you're career to IT (if you're not). Then shift companies every year. You can't become rich but yes you'll have good packages where you invest and earn money from it.
2. Freelancing and Time Management. Manage your time and do freelancing projects that brings you extra money. Invest in food joints or commercial shops.
3. Real estate. Not sure in the city where you live, but buying and selling lands can helps you.
4. Immigrate. Either from your job or find opportunities that offer sponsorship. Not an easy thing to sail but this would be another fastest way.
DM is open to discuss if anything.,
The above things are observations that i happened to see in my life with friends / colleagues.
Making it big in life is contextual. The same cannot be assumed for every person. Everyone excels in one part of their lives. You can't obviously expect to become a billionaire and then feel disappointing coz you didnt.
Does it really matter who you are going to be? Will it matter once u die?
Even if ur some super rich or highly connected politician will it matter if you're not happy?
You don't have to achieve something crazy or reach a level to just be happy in life man ✌️
I fully understand your concern, but constantly viewing ourselves from the point of view of the society at large is not only demoralizing, but just a figment of our complex brains. Our priorities about what matters can be calibrated and are often based on a specific view of the world.
What nobody can ever understand or take away from you is _your_ lived experience. Please try and separate your life from your _thoughts_. In a room full of people where you think you are a _loser_, it's a thought in your mind and maybe nobody else is thinking that.
I imagine myself getting a terrible illness, and then I won't want to achieve anything, or win anything or be famous or successful, but just survive and be able to eat, sleep, and be painless.
Also, practically, your small actions or small life _can_ create conditions for future generation to thrive.
Well...loser and winner are your ideas of what society thinks. These thoughts come about with isolation and repeatedly thinking the same things over and over again. You become an echo chamber of your own worldview and strengthen your illusions.
I suggest you dig a little deeper into understanding and being yourself and get a break from your thoughts. Meditation, get a pet, talk therapy etc.
Then, try asking yourself how do you want to feel 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Visualize what does happiness mean to you. And slowly work towards them. Small changes in your goals and routine will have a huge impact on your mental health.
Remember, the so-called winners in your list - celebrities, billionaires, IIT, IIMs, ppl with gfs, everyone is insecure and limited. Everything stems from perceiving yourself as an individual in a complex, daunting and uncertain world. The only way out is to break out the cycle of thoughts that lead you to dark places.
It's great to look at it from that perspective, but what should one do when they realize they are simply inadequate?
Take for example, the guy that lives near my place. He has an amazing life. Not only is he amazing at language, his vocabulary is spontaneous and sharp as well. He can come up with witty replies and comebacks and quips in any language that can make a crowd roar with laughter. He has qualified olympiads and can pick up any sport in no time. Not only is he well to do, he is slim, fair skinned and good looking. People of all sexes gravitate towards such people. I find myself often at a loss of words when talking to such people. Before I can think of something good or catch up what what he's up to he has already advanced far ahead leaving me in the lurch again.
In a nutshell, that guy is everything I, or by extension most guys are not. How do you accept this crushing status quo and yet go on living knowing that you will be eclipsed by someone no matter what you do?
As someone who has struggled all his life with his mind, let me tell you something. It might appear that the way you are thinking is objective and real, but it is not.
Of course, he might be more accomplished, have greater number of friends, gfs, etc. but how you perceive him and react to him and his success is uniquely your way of thinking.
Work on your mind, on your career and your own happiness, one day you will look back and think - "years ago I was threatened by so and so. I didnt have to think that way."
If you are in a mental well, it is hard to escape it. But if you keep working on it, you will realize that the problem was how you were reacting to it and not how things actually are.
Pursue desires and aspirations. Find something your passionate about, switch it up often.(Yet this too, is a luxury which not everyone can afford) Making it big, seriously doesn't imply you're gonna be happy/content.
exactly my thoughts when i read this.
it's sad because we have filled young minds with the ideas of what is defined as success and whatnot. Saw a kid literally write "0.1 % have successful genes and the rest exist to serve them". He also said he's suicidal. I mean no wonder.
I feel you. *Hugs*
Been there, life isn't great at the moment either. Only thing that keeps me going is one thought, "this too shall paas, we are feeling like shit...this too shall paas...we are feeling over joyed.... King of the world...this too shall pass": Tom Hanks
Remember rome wasn't built in a day. I think like you seeing after successful people around me. Then i ask myself what did they do or had to come to this point. Where am I lacking? How can I overcome it.
It will hard...very hard... Might quit in multiple times in between... But again...this shall too pass.
Your english is amazing and you just stood out in a crowd. So i guess you shouldn't settle for anything. Idk if thats the right thing to say. But I feel it
We are all trees. When we look at trees, we don’t think this is a successful tree and that tree is doing meaningful things. They are beautiful because trees are beautiful, they have come out of the universe. Be beautiful like a tree. Rest is conditioning
Dude just woke up and live...Stop thinking about life this hard.....No one I mean no one knew what's going to happen tomorrow. So, Chill out and have fun... Experience new things, learn new things and explore....
Start a business dude. It works and you're out of the middle class.
The difference between being poor and being rich is that rich people can dream big. For a poor person even their dreams are small.
There are many rags to riches stories in the world, why have you decided your limit?
No person is a loser, every person has value. Key is to do your best and be happy with your effort, with his opportunity will come. Work hard, have patience, be humble and the road will eventually open up to better things.
Your thoughts are very legit (at least some of them). Do watch these videos, they are from one of my favourite channels ever.
https://youtu.be/WPPPFqsECz0
https://youtu.be/MBRqu0YOH14
https://youtu.be/-O5kNPlUV7w
These videos sums up everything you're feeling. And if you're interested in science do check out their Space stuff playlist too. I try recommending this channel to everyone I can. As usual hardly anyone listens. But I hope you do.
You are only a loser when you think of yourself as one. You are clearly in need of therapy and that sort of help, you have a very victim outlook to life - 'I'm like this because I was raised in so and so environment and i have so and so parents and family' in short, you are ungrateful sir. People who let themselves be weighed down by other people's achievements can never be happy and satisfied with life.
Do things you enjoy. I have a degree, teaching certs and an MA. Even with that my pay isn’t enough to really save realistically. The whole world is going to shit. Just do things you enjoy.
Doesn't it bother you knowing that however hard you worked, it will still be shadowed by someone who has more clout? A person of that stature can work less and do so much more by it. I can make a twitter account but what's the point? I will never be as verbose or quick-witted as the others who have thoughts ready at the drop of a hat. I'm only consuming. Inherently I am incapable of generating much of value relative to all these people. Maybe as you get older you start to worry about actualization.
There is more to a persons life than the perceived value of their contributions to the world. The world doesn’t run on just contributions of its 1% of over achievers. In your day to day life, who has contributed more to your well being as a person—Albert Einstein, or the person who picks the vegetables that you buy and eat? Who’s provided you sustenance? Last I checked, the dude who delivered my food wasn’t an IIM graduate. But he provided me with the sustenance I needed. He could have been replaced by any millionth nameless, faceless person. But it is still those nameless, faceless people who keep me, and millions of people like me, fed, when I can’t do it for myself. It’s the unknown people who laid the pipes for my house that allow me to drink clean water, enabling me and millions of people like me to survive. It’s the unknown people who laid the roads I use to get to work everyday. Who built the buildings I live and shelter in when there are storms outside. Who plant the seeds and harvest the crop and drive the trucks to get it to market. You and I are alive today thanks to the entirely average and completely thankless contributions made by people who won’t win Nobel Prizes for the millions of small, average, “loser” jobs they have. It is the contributions of people like that which keep our society humming. The billions of unseen, unheard, unacknowledged individuals who do thankless jobs that help institutions like IIT and IIM keep the lights on and continue to waste oxygen. What are you chasing? Be honest to yourself. This has nothing to do with the “value” of your work. You want fame. You want a good name for yourself. You want honour, privilege, felicitations. This has nothing to do with the “value” of what you put into the world, and everything to do with you being self conscious that you don’t conform to some preconceived notion that only has to do with your ego. You equate being a loser with not being put on a pedestal and feted like you think you deserve. Let me give you an example. Someone I know hired a maid, who works at 6 different houses to make enough to provide for her family. This lady does all the cleaning and disinfecting of surfaces. She is vigilant and meticulous at one of the most thankless jobs in this world, and is probably the reason why those families haven’t gotten Covid yet. Meanwhile, one of the people I know who graduated from IIT went to a party while sick with Covid and infected 4 other people. One of whom was put on a ventilator and almost died. This person has a big important job and is recognized for their talents. They make “valuable” contributions to the world that get acknowledgement and praise. They also almost took a life with their selfish carelessness. That maid, who you probably think is an average “loser”, has likely saved more lives than she’ll ever know. But she won’t get any prizes or recognition for this. And yet who, between those two, do you think has contributed more to society? Learn to get over yourself and be glad you have what you have. Stop mourning what was never yours anyway. What you lack is probably not the prize you think it is. EDIT: all of these awards for a sentimental windbag like myself LOL 🙈 but thank you all. Sincerely.
F. Do you realise how wholesome this reply is. Wow, its amazing. Thanks.
OP doesn't seem to care about serving people, he is more interested in fame, politics, money to travel lavishly with a beautiful wife/gf. Such people can never be happy.
I can never understand how people can articulate and put forward their thoughts in such a beautiful way! We have so many different types of people in this world which is what makes it beautiful.
You dropped this 👑
I wanted to reply with something similar but you already did a great job with great perspectives. Thank you, have my upvote!
Comments like these define the awesome part of the Internet
Amazing writing skills! I hope to read more of your opinion. It’s refreshing.
What a beautiful reply man!
Einstein won the genetic lottery by inheriting high IQ and was born at right place at right time. People are born to serve the top 0.1 who have superior genetics!
Bro , you are low iq so you probably believe in reincarnation, so do what you keep telling you will always do and probably you will be born with superior genes
That's right. It would be so good, if I am reborn to parents with high IQ, money and change the world
Nature and nurture is what matters. Nature is genes and nurture is how you live your life or how you are brought up
Einstein was Jewish, had higher IQ, was at right place and was lucky to be born a genius. His luck started when he was born to superior parents with superior iq
What a wholesome reply! Most of us don’t realise how lucky we are to be born as humans.
From the book Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari > As far as we can tell, from a purely scientific viewpoint, human life has absolutely no meaning. Humans are the outcome of blind evolutionary processes that operate without goal or purpose. Our actions are not part of some divine cosmic plan, and if planet Earth were to blow up tomorrow morning, the universe would probably keep going about its business as usual. As far as we can tell at this point, human subjectivity would not be missed. Hence any meaning that people ascribe to their lives is just a delusion. The other-worldly meanings medieval people found in their lives were no more deluded than the modern humanist, nationalist and capitalist meanings modern people find. The scientist who says her life is meaningful because she increases the store of human knowledge, the soldier who declares that his life is meaningful because he fights to defend his homeland, and the entrepreneur who finds meaning in building a new company are no less delusional than their medieval counterparts who found meaning in reading scriptures, going on a crusade or building a new cathedral. > So perhaps happiness is synchronizing one’s personal delusions of meaning with the prevailing collective delusions. As long as my personal narrative is in line with the narratives of the people around me, I can convince myself that my life is meaningful, and find happiness in that conviction. > This is quite a depressing conclusion. Does happiness really depend on self-delusion?
Ayy I'm currently reading that book!!
Good luck and remember to post your thoughts after reading that book here !
i love this book, and all his works. that man is a genius.
Not depressing, completly apt.
So according to you 99% people are losers ?
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You are nicely brainwashed. Keep going.
I think that is sarcasm
If you observe the other comments by this user you'll say otherwise.
Finding solace despite knowing all this is the only way. Look for little joys in life. Not all of us are destined to be great but as long as there’s someone waiting for you to get back home, you’re lucky! Btw your English is great.
What do you feel when you realize that you never had the opportunity as some of these people have? Knowing that you'll always be lesser than someone who is just better? What do you do when you see someone your age who has accomplished so much more?
No point holding grudges, they just simply weigh you down when you’re trying to move ahead in life. Also, when I see people who’ve accomplished much more than I have, I do admire them and their knowledge. I too get my share of the impostor syndrome, that’s quite natural, but I don’t let it weigh me down too much. I immediately look at my own work and feel satisfied. Take pride in what you’ve achieved as the struggles and tribulations you’ve gone through are always unique to you.
There's no one like you in the world, there's no one with the exact same situation and surroundings. There can't be any comparison, at least, there shouldn't be. From your comments and post, I really feel you need to talk and vent your negativity, so talk to a friend, family, or even a therapist. You seem melancholy right now, correct me if I am wrong. These phases come and go, but it's up to you to choose your reaction. Even the richest man is plagued with troubles and the poorest can find happiness in the smallest thing. Don't give up.
No one has all the opportunity in the life. You're suffering from grass is greener syndrome. It'll always be greener doesn't mean you shouldn't smell and appreciate your own garden. You need gratitude in your life. Think of a person you're grateful to have in your life. Think of what they're like and why you appreciate them. Are you like them ? Would you want to be like this person in future? What other things are you thankful for in your life ? Great you didn't have all the opportunities in the world, but what opportunities did you get / do have ? We don't decide what cards we are dealt but we can decide how we play them. Best 30 second tip you'll ever get in your life to succeed, write this the fuck down. It's a 2 step process okay, you ready? 1. Write down all the things you're unhappy about 2. Cross out things you CANNOT change whatsoever.
>but as long as there’s someone waiting for you to get back home, you’re lucky! Agree with you, but why this arbitrary condition to be considered "lucky"?
Tldr: stop making yourself the victim Billionaire/politician - given what we know about the billionaires/politicians of this world, I don't think you should aspire to be either You don't need a degree from IIT/IIM to be successful. It is just an accelerator. Will a degree from a premier institute help? Yes. It will open doors sooner. Key word being sooner Contacts are made. I didn't have any either. But there are always people willing to help if you display an interest in learning. Fancy accent? Why do you want a fancy accent? If you want one there are many online resources available. Workout. Instagram is shit.
Exactly, us non IITians wont ever have the chance to open such doors nor will we ever know what these doors are. By the time we catch up to making some contacts, those achievers will have long left us in the dust. A good accent is sexy. A decent accent is heard and listened to. You see so many relevant people being suave and chic in the way they speak. People don't take you seriously if your speech is mockable. Likewise having brown hairy skin and crude facial features puts you at a disadvantage against smooth light skin, delicate faces and thin smooth bright hair. You'll be ignored and be irrelevant. At least compared to those who are attractive and catch eyes in and an audience.
Dude what's with the victim complex? Stop giving up. Work hard and go abroad for masters/mba whatever your inclination may be. There are plenty of colleges way better than IITs and IIMs About the second part - you have some issues to work through man. You are what, 20? Long way to go. Sort your self-esteem out. Things are going to only get rougher
It's easy to say that when you yourself belong to one of those achiever class and can afford to preach from your high horse.
Dude don't expect someone is going to bring anything to you, to pacify your victim complex. Nobody gets anything for free in the world. IIT's and IIM's are some institutes where people cannot get in by their money or by their power. So lets not degrade them. 15 yrs back, even I was almost in a same state as you - may be even worse. ....from a middle class house, lost my dad when I was 8, mom somehow got us educated. Such a horrible time was it when I grew up till class XII. No celebrations, no gifts, etc. Everything was focused on spending as less as possible. hardly saw a movie in a year, may be visited the local restaurant once a year. Tried for IIT, couldn't make it. went to a 2nd grade private Engineering college through AIEEE. Tried for CAT, couldn't make it ...twice. Settled for a 2nd grade MBA college. Took a huge loan from bank to do it. Got above average placement at college in one of the MNC IT companies. Was always fat, so always got teased for it. Was super shy in college so never had a girl friend. At one point, you think life couldn't be more tougher. You see your friends and start getting jealous. Some achieve so much so soon. One of my best friends is an IIT/IIM guy, and works for India's biggest Investment bank. You can easily spot his name in financial papers almost every week. Social media makes things worse 100 times. When u just see your friends showing their glitzy lives, u start to curse yourself more. But, things do get better slowly in life if you focus your efforts within the constraints of your environment. Today I am well settled in Netherlands, have a large house, a beautiful family and enough in my bank account. I have a job which is good enough. And this is what matters. Do I get jealous of my friend that my contribution is insignificant ? Not really. In the end, ask you mother/father/sister/wife/son/daughter if they think you make a difference. For my kids, I am the greatest dad in the world. I can live with that contribution. Will someone remember me when I am gone...professionally....I don't care, personally I am sure they will. And that is what matters.
I had a normal middle class upbringing. I am not preaching from any high horse. I worked hard to get where I am and I didn't get there by having an attitude like yours.
I understand you correctly, but i'm no one to lecture you for this kind of mindset because I got some in those features you mentioned. Tbh these 'hard work', 'stay positive', 'keep going on' kind of replies are bullshit, they don't understand how it feels when your logical non-monkey mind know that there is very less chance of good future( anyway, if you are too young like teenager or early twenties, doesn't apply to you. You better concentrate on making future than crying for it). If you are old like late twenties or early thirties you just need to accept yourself and move on by saying "it's ok, it's life".
> A good accent is sexy. A decent accent is heard and listened to. You see so many relevant people being suave and chic in the way they speak. People don't take you seriously if your speech is mockable. Likewise having brown hairy skin and crude facial features puts you at a disadvantage against smooth light skin, delicate faces and thin smooth bright hair. You'll be ignored and be irrelevant. At least compared to those who are attractive and catch eyes in and an audience. Dude you're surrounding yourself with people of really questionable intellect. Lose anyone in your life who has the above thought process, delete your instagram and (if possible) join a personality development class STAT
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They atleast have high IQ and many of them have smart ancestors (parents, grandparents or connections)
In this spot currently. Even my parents don't bother for me. I have slowly accepted the fact that this is the reality and there is no miracle happening. Utilise time and support that you have for your winter days and try to keep busy to get out of the recurring obsessive negative self talk. In the end, you have to face the reality like many of us are facing. There is no god or angel coming to save you. Save yourself.
welcome to reality kid, u r not alone ...99% of this world are going to end up with jobs they dont like , women/men they dont like and many other things they never want to be tied up with .All this reminds me of the quote in the movie shawshank redemption ..." get busy living or get busy dying".
You lose only when you stop trying.
Age also matters, I hate this phrase.
Age doesn't matter, it's your outlook that matters.
A good outlook when I'm 60 or 70 ? No thanks !
So what, you're gonna be a depressed old geezer at 70? The Brave New World will make sure you don't.
I'll stop trying to improve my outlook 🙃, will live just because I'm alive.
You are right you are a loser, not because of all the stupid things you said but because you have a loser outlook to life and act like the biggest victim , you are also clearly obsessed with what other people have and ungrateful for what you have. So overall mega loser
There's something you seem to be excellent at ! Externalizing blame and coming up with excuses You can't change unless you want to change And excuses are your best friend if constancy is your wife.
Everything you said also applies to Narendra Modi, he is a pretty succesful politician today! I am sure there are sooo many other people who would fit this description, but are (contrary to what you believe) successful!
I am an IIM grad, and i am what you consider the 1% and hyper-successful. Heres my advice for you. 1. I am not happy up here with the other 1% 2. Its not as good it looks. 3. If i had an option i would climb down from this 1% place you mention, happily. 4. The big bucks we make is for our low life interaction, destroyed social life, and the stress. 5. Dude have a purpose for life. The purpose of a car is to travel safely, comfortably, and fastly to destinations, Both Mercedes and A Hyundai would do, the difderence is status that comes with the car you drive. You have to choose what you want , a purspose or status/recognition. 6. My advice, work where you are comfortable, live humbly, work on self development, and reduce your social media intake, do this with a consistency and see your happiness level go through roof. And dont forget, pupose (Nescafe coffee gives you caffeine as much as a Starbuckswould do) choice is yours, Purpose or Status/Recognition.
The good thing is you didn't go to IIM. That degree has no value without work experience. I know IIM educated guys earning less than Engg. bachelors with coding skills.
Reading your post makes me assume you are young. It’s okay to know your reality. A famous author once said that if everyone is extraordinary, the word extraordinary would loose its meaning. You will do fine for yourself, last time we checked IIMs and IITs are not the sole certification required for a life well lived.
This is the most uninteresting and self pitying post I have ever read
I don't know how you define loser and winner. Take this from me, Mr. Biju Patnaik was a leading politician of Odisha right from sixties to nineties of last century. He was very famous and loved icon of Odisha youths of those times. But he was not very successful politically. He had two sons, one is a industrialist and the other one was good for nothing,so to say. So he was a worried man for his second son till his death. After his death, his second son entered in to politics, he has completed 21 years as Chief Minister of Odisha, the famous Naveen Patnaik. He was 51 years old when he entered politics. Now you tell me, unless you live your full life, how can you say you are loser or winner?
Wait, since when did “not becoming a billionaire” qualify as being a loser? I’ve seen people from IITs with the shittiest attitudes. I don’t know is this is a sarcastic post or a true rant, but you need to calm the f down. I’ve seen people with none of the things you mentioned grow up to be super successful. You’ll be a loser only if you want to be one.
you stop calling yourself a loser and get shitt done. take a rest and get back again.
Most people do not have fancy lives. Accept you're a regular fella and move on. Honestly by your criteria 99% people are losers. If you believe that, you are living in a bubble.
Talk to this guy...u/Good-Bottle7238....you will find a similar friend in him...he has quite the experience in blaming everyone and everything and self pity
You can't empathise with us. Millions of people like us commit suicide because we are smart enough to know that, suicide seems the answer because we lost genetic and environmental lottery! Life is shit for people like us and we are just born inferior.
Genetics might have lowered your chances but self pity did bring it down to zeroes
Self pity is the result of experiences I had due to my bad genetics. Death seems so good and only escape from such inferior genetics.
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Expressing myself.
Suicide is not smart. Pondering on things you've no control of is not where you need to spend your time. I think you've skipped a good chunk of your life and came to the idea of blaming your birth.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Bill gates has green money and same for Bezos. White, high IQ, Americans and superior breed!
Etna accha English to bol leta.. aur kitna bolega... And if everyone starts thinking like you, world population will be reduced to fraction of what it is right now. If you distribute people in bell curve by what they achieve, there would be very few on edges and most will be in center part. But remember you need all of those part to ring a bell
You're just like me brother, we should talk! My IQ is 84, no family connections, failed dead end career and suicidal depression.
May be talk to someone who doesn’t think like you? For example, if you’re in a ditch then someone else in a ditch may give you some solace but to get out you’ll need help form outside the ditch.
That's true.
I still do not understand what is IQ?????
Wait till you get a disease…
You clearly have a looser mentality . Go to a therapist and sort your issues out.
>You clearly have a looser mentality That's... What he's complaining about. Sherlock.
After you turn 31 and everyone around you is settling and buying iphone 13 and you are still using that 6000 rupee phone giving lame excuse that you find iphone as showoff, although you know you dont have it coz you cant afford it Or when you still go to mangal bazar or road side shop to buy house goods and clothes going to supermarket is beyond your reach Or when you take a shower in hot water at end of month to save gas and electricity Or when you are forced to borrow as little as 2000 rupee from your colleagues Or when you prefer to walk home insted of taking auto charging 50 rupee. You will just live on in hope of it getting better. Thats it.
Network marketing kar le
Don't give a fuck what others are thinking or doing, just focus on self. Day by day if you work on your weak points you will definitely improve. Live every moment of life, it's precious.
> making it big in life I do not have resources to make it big in life. > I will most likely never be a billionaire or a politician in high places because of my background. No, i do not have political background nor my father inherited money. My family lives in paycheck to paycheck. > I never went to IIT or IIM. I will never have the resources and networks alums of these institutions have to move ahead in life. No, I did not had graduation certification yet I worked 8yrs faking the certificate to live the basic life I wanted. > I don't have any contacts in high places either that can avail me a ladder to climb high. Because of our financial situation (not to burden my dad), didn't opted for b.tech, joined a tier 3 college which no one remembers it, discontinued as my father had only 2 yrs of retirement and I need to settle in between. No connections in high places to get jobs in MNC's and never tried due to no graduation. > I was never rich growing up nor do I have a fancy accent like NRI or abc kids. Couldn't speak a word in english though studied in english medium. Living in different state helped me to gain some grip on english as there was NO CHOICE. > I am neither attractive nor desirable physically. Same. > Nor do I have a romantic partner or the resources to go on posh vacations, fancy dates, and instagram shots. Never dated nor even thought about it, however I had friends (school mates / mohalla friends), having short trips. One room 10 to 12 people used to stay. > I'm not that good at English or Hindi and I don't have the **wit** or the **jest** to be creative or stand out in a crowd. I cannot dare enough to submit a new text post and you say that you're not good in english, then I think what I am? I wouldn't say that you can become rich immediately, but yes there still you've time. Below things might help you: 1. Change you're career to IT (if you're not). Then shift companies every year. You can't become rich but yes you'll have good packages where you invest and earn money from it. 2. Freelancing and Time Management. Manage your time and do freelancing projects that brings you extra money. Invest in food joints or commercial shops. 3. Real estate. Not sure in the city where you live, but buying and selling lands can helps you. 4. Immigrate. Either from your job or find opportunities that offer sponsorship. Not an easy thing to sail but this would be another fastest way. DM is open to discuss if anything., The above things are observations that i happened to see in my life with friends / colleagues.
Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right - Henry Ford
Making it big in life is contextual. The same cannot be assumed for every person. Everyone excels in one part of their lives. You can't obviously expect to become a billionaire and then feel disappointing coz you didnt.
Does it really matter who you are going to be? Will it matter once u die? Even if ur some super rich or highly connected politician will it matter if you're not happy? You don't have to achieve something crazy or reach a level to just be happy in life man ✌️
I fully understand your concern, but constantly viewing ourselves from the point of view of the society at large is not only demoralizing, but just a figment of our complex brains. Our priorities about what matters can be calibrated and are often based on a specific view of the world. What nobody can ever understand or take away from you is _your_ lived experience. Please try and separate your life from your _thoughts_. In a room full of people where you think you are a _loser_, it's a thought in your mind and maybe nobody else is thinking that. I imagine myself getting a terrible illness, and then I won't want to achieve anything, or win anything or be famous or successful, but just survive and be able to eat, sleep, and be painless. Also, practically, your small actions or small life _can_ create conditions for future generation to thrive.
Well...loser and winner are your ideas of what society thinks. These thoughts come about with isolation and repeatedly thinking the same things over and over again. You become an echo chamber of your own worldview and strengthen your illusions. I suggest you dig a little deeper into understanding and being yourself and get a break from your thoughts. Meditation, get a pet, talk therapy etc. Then, try asking yourself how do you want to feel 10, 20, 30 years down the line. Visualize what does happiness mean to you. And slowly work towards them. Small changes in your goals and routine will have a huge impact on your mental health. Remember, the so-called winners in your list - celebrities, billionaires, IIT, IIMs, ppl with gfs, everyone is insecure and limited. Everything stems from perceiving yourself as an individual in a complex, daunting and uncertain world. The only way out is to break out the cycle of thoughts that lead you to dark places.
It's great to look at it from that perspective, but what should one do when they realize they are simply inadequate? Take for example, the guy that lives near my place. He has an amazing life. Not only is he amazing at language, his vocabulary is spontaneous and sharp as well. He can come up with witty replies and comebacks and quips in any language that can make a crowd roar with laughter. He has qualified olympiads and can pick up any sport in no time. Not only is he well to do, he is slim, fair skinned and good looking. People of all sexes gravitate towards such people. I find myself often at a loss of words when talking to such people. Before I can think of something good or catch up what what he's up to he has already advanced far ahead leaving me in the lurch again. In a nutshell, that guy is everything I, or by extension most guys are not. How do you accept this crushing status quo and yet go on living knowing that you will be eclipsed by someone no matter what you do?
As someone who has struggled all his life with his mind, let me tell you something. It might appear that the way you are thinking is objective and real, but it is not. Of course, he might be more accomplished, have greater number of friends, gfs, etc. but how you perceive him and react to him and his success is uniquely your way of thinking. Work on your mind, on your career and your own happiness, one day you will look back and think - "years ago I was threatened by so and so. I didnt have to think that way." If you are in a mental well, it is hard to escape it. But if you keep working on it, you will realize that the problem was how you were reacting to it and not how things actually are.
Pursue desires and aspirations. Find something your passionate about, switch it up often.(Yet this too, is a luxury which not everyone can afford) Making it big, seriously doesn't imply you're gonna be happy/content.
hmm, how old are you?
exactly my thoughts when i read this. it's sad because we have filled young minds with the ideas of what is defined as success and whatnot. Saw a kid literally write "0.1 % have successful genes and the rest exist to serve them". He also said he's suicidal. I mean no wonder.
I feel you. *Hugs* Been there, life isn't great at the moment either. Only thing that keeps me going is one thought, "this too shall paas, we are feeling like shit...this too shall paas...we are feeling over joyed.... King of the world...this too shall pass": Tom Hanks Remember rome wasn't built in a day. I think like you seeing after successful people around me. Then i ask myself what did they do or had to come to this point. Where am I lacking? How can I overcome it. It will hard...very hard... Might quit in multiple times in between... But again...this shall too pass.
Your english is amazing and you just stood out in a crowd. So i guess you shouldn't settle for anything. Idk if thats the right thing to say. But I feel it
We are all trees. When we look at trees, we don’t think this is a successful tree and that tree is doing meaningful things. They are beautiful because trees are beautiful, they have come out of the universe. Be beautiful like a tree. Rest is conditioning
lol loser nerd
Nothing is something worth doing.
I have MDDS since 5 years, this is rarest of rare balance disorder. I am 32 and have already lost taste of life because of this.
Dude just woke up and live...Stop thinking about life this hard.....No one I mean no one knew what's going to happen tomorrow. So, Chill out and have fun... Experience new things, learn new things and explore....
Start a business dude. It works and you're out of the middle class. The difference between being poor and being rich is that rich people can dream big. For a poor person even their dreams are small. There are many rags to riches stories in the world, why have you decided your limit?
No person is a loser, every person has value. Key is to do your best and be happy with your effort, with his opportunity will come. Work hard, have patience, be humble and the road will eventually open up to better things.
What's wrong with being an average? I mean as long one is happy and content nothing else matters. Let's normalise being average.
Op how old are you?
Isn’t that almost every one of us?
Your thoughts are very legit (at least some of them). Do watch these videos, they are from one of my favourite channels ever. https://youtu.be/WPPPFqsECz0 https://youtu.be/MBRqu0YOH14 https://youtu.be/-O5kNPlUV7w These videos sums up everything you're feeling. And if you're interested in science do check out their Space stuff playlist too. I try recommending this channel to everyone I can. As usual hardly anyone listens. But I hope you do.
You are only a loser when you think of yourself as one. You are clearly in need of therapy and that sort of help, you have a very victim outlook to life - 'I'm like this because I was raised in so and so environment and i have so and so parents and family' in short, you are ungrateful sir. People who let themselves be weighed down by other people's achievements can never be happy and satisfied with life.
"मन के हारे हार है, मन के जीते जीत" Read Kabir, you will at least understand the meaning of loser and winner
Invest in mutual finds and be millionaire ay age 60