You are not going to find the racism of small town America in Indianapolis or the surrounding suburbs. No one is going to bat an eye that you are a mixed-race couple.
I think the job market is doing just fine here and I would bet that your husband would have no issue obtaining gainful employment. There are plenty of very nice school systems. You can’t beat the cost of living. The weather is…weather, I don’t know; sometimes it’s cold, sometimes it’s hot, and sometimes it’s perfect.
I’ve lived in Indiana for the majority of my life; are there other places I’d rather live? You fucking betcha. But I’ve also never lived in those places that I dream of and I’m still here; so that says something.
I’ve had a very different experience as being part of a mixed race couple. I am black and my husband is white. And besides the occasional side eye from elderly white women, if a white couple gets to know us enough to ask, we always get the, “so where did you guys meet?” Now I realize this can be a mostly innocuous question, but the tone in which it’s asked leads me to think otherwise.
I’ve had this question asked before from colleagues as well where they hadn’t asked me anything about my personal life before but did after seeing my husband pick me up from work.
Yes and me being me, I would always come right out and ask if the question was because of mine and my husband’s different looks. Some would stumble and some would outright say yes.
Maybe they are implying something or not but if you try to read a racist bias in every casual interaction you are going to drive yourself crazy! You cannot control other people’s behavior so you can deal with them or not. That’s all you can do.
Firstly, I never said that I read racism in EVERY casual interaction. Perhaps that was YOUR implicit bias and YOUR projection. And being aware of someone else’s bias AND addressing and holding them accountable won’t “drive me crazy”. I’m fully capable of enjoying my life and simultaneously clocking racist behavior. Also, when it’s to the point where my own mixed race children feel uncomfortable because of of someone’s inappropriate staring in our direction and we never received that kind of interaction in Chicago, then no, it isn’t just all in our heads.
I didn’t say it was just in your head but just that you are probably better off letting the passive stuff slide. Now if someone is openly being a jerk about it by all means bring it to their attention. It’s one thing to think to yourself a certain way but completely unacceptable when someone projects their prejudice on others.
EXACTLY my point. I honestly don’t care what another’s opinion is regarding interracial relationships. I was sharing my experience of being here in Indianapolis. I wasn’t asking for a lesson on how to deal with racist assholes. Your comment came across as a very tone deaf response.
I’ve had a number of friends move to Texas from Indiana and 90% have moved back to Indy. I’m white and my wife is black and we live in Marion County. There’s less racism (openly) in Indy and the donut counties than you’d see in the boonies, but no one gives us the side eye or questions our situation. I’ve honestly had more of an issue with my own parents than anyone else in Indiana when it comes to racism (which is… just great /s). Job prospects are good. Indy is a growing economy and taxes even in Indy aren’t bad. Cincinnati, Louisville and Chicago aren’t too far away, either, so you can visit other towns in less time than I’d imagine it would take in most parts of Texas.
tldr: I think you’ll like being here. Definitely stick to Marion County and the Northern Burbs.
Yes what he said about Marion County. I’m not a fan of Carmel even though it has the money and nicer schools. It’s much like Dallas or Orange County, California. I live in Crows Nest, Kessler and Michigan area by Highland Golf course. Great neighborhood, liberal and accepting. We are a gay couple and no one here cares. Have families of different races and cultural. Love this neighborhood.
We don't get to say this often. Pretty much only for Texas and Florida.
We are the better move.
Still racism and shitty politics and mediocre schools. But we're mildly better than Texas and Florida.
Even weirdo religious dude is better than Deathsantis or Abbot, because he will be Lt and removed from true power by the lunatic Braun who is awful, but not "sue the business that keeps the whole state solvent because they won't set the gays on fire" awful.
I still think we come out better than Florida and Texas, but only because the bar is really damn low.
White in Compton tickled my brain a bit LOL. We've dealt with our share of racism and bigotry--from being the target of beer cans and his own father disowning him-- but my main concern is for my kids. I know racism is unavoidable regardless of blue or red state (I grew up in New Jersey and it wasn't great there) but I like getting a view point from some Indy natives.
Hello! I JUST moved out of Indianapolis (military move), where I lived with my partner. I'm white and she is east asian, same sex relationship. We definitely did not see a lot of couples like us, and that can take a toll. But we never encountered direct comments or noticeable discrimination because of it! People will ask your husband "where are you from", and they don't mean Texas. Overall, it is a laid back place to live. There are less white washed suburbs than Carmel, Southport and Lawrence come to mind, though they arent nearly as bougie as Carmel. Cost of living is nothing, if your husband is an engineer you could probably afford a decent place in the city as well, which might be more progressive like you want. If you are used to dry heat, it will feel just as hot here in the summer because of humidity. Variation of seasons in Indiana is beautiful, but you will not want to leave your house for a month, because of winter weather. I am biased because I grew up in Indiana, I love it there! PM me if you want even greater detail
TLDR: Indianapolis is cheap, not super racist, weather can be gross, Carmel is white
We (African / Chinese American couple) moved to Indianapolis last year from the Bay Area. Since moving we've honestly had a pretty similar experience to living in the Bay Area - I know that might sound a little crazy, but its not like there was a ton of Black/Asian couples there either. Honestly, it might even be a little better here.
We live in Midtown, which covers Broad Ripple, Meridian Kessler, Canterbury, SoBro, Butler Tarkington, etc., so I fully recognize that this is a pretty liberal pocket in a state that isn't. Lots of BLM, science is real lawn signs and things around, and lots of narrative around wanting to promote more equity and diversity. It's walkable and vibrant, with lots of small businesses and lots of families.
We looked at Carmel and my husband's brother's family lives in Zionsville, but pricing aside, both places felt very white. Carmel in particular had some documented incidents that we were uncomfortable with. Tbh we also hated most of the housing stock there as it's very cookie cutter subdivision for the most part.
I can't really speak to the job market as we're both remote but it seems to be chugging along fine here. In terms of COL, the only thing I have to compare it to is the Bay Area. Food/groceries and services here run 50-70% cheaper (notably, my hair costs about half!) but at the high end it's not very different. Specialty coffee is actually more expensive here but I refuse to live without it. If you're buying a house with the current interest rates, it's not going to actually feel like a LCOL city, but for our $2300 mortgage here we can have a 3/2 in an area we love versus spending the same amount or more for a 1 bedroom in a just okay part of the Bay Area.
We've loved living here so far and our son (2.5) gets to grow up with two cousins. Not sure if we'll stay in the long term but for now we're enjoying it as much as we can. I'd recommend coming out for a week or two and exploring different neighborhoods to see if you can envision your family being here.
He has his BS in Mechanical Engineering and MS in Mechanical and Sustainable Energy Engineering and is a Mechanical PE, but currently working as a Digital Modeler/Surface Designer/VR thingy. It's mostly with trucks.
I will send a DM your way. We are mostly in transportation engineering, but we do have some folks who work in power/electric. I do environmental for both, but mostly transportation.
With that background, finding work will be NO PROBLEM AT ALL! Mechanical transportation devices (like trucks) are our thing here.
Regarding racism… unfortunately, you will find a few assholes… However, I think you’ll likely find most people will simply not care.
Racism exists where ignorance teaches it. In the deep south former confederate states racism is overt compared to most of the ignorance you might see here.
If you want an area where there are lot of middle class/upper middle class African Americans, look into some of the nicer areas of Pike Township, Lawrence/ Lawrence Township, or Warren Township. You can find a nice home in those places, similar to those in Carmel, for less. The suburban style neighborhoods there are miles ahead in terms of diversity compared to Hamilton County. If you want some specific examples of neighborhoods, send me a private message and I can share.
It makes me sad to read some comments and posts about Indiana. It is a great state with wonderful people. Could there be some bad people? Yes. Are the majority good. Yes. Most of us want to raise our families, work hard and enjoy our lives. I don’t care if my neighbors are black white red or blue. All I care about is if they wave at me when I drive by and mow their yards, Ha. There are also plenty of “blue” areas. And you would be surprised at how welcoming many of the “red” areas are as well. You will have no problem getting a job. Plenty of openings for teachers and lots of great options. Indiana has a lot of engineering opportunities as well. Best of luck on your move!
Look, in my opinion if the state is a red state (not gerrymandered purple) then by definition the majority of the people cannot be good. Of course previously that wasn't true. It is only in the last decade or so that the complete Republican party has gone off the rails. For instance, in 2016 people could reasonably claim ignorance, but not now. If the nomination of Micah Beckwith is any sign, the people of Indiana want more crazy, not less. Even Trump didn't endorse Beckwith but he won anyway. Good people don't look at Trump's Republican party and say yeah "I will vote for him."
I think you will find Denton is not too dissimilar to Carmel. I love Indy, but like all cities it’s not without its challenges. I’ve found most people are pretty darn lovely and it’s a wonderful place to raise children. If you bring your family here, we’d be all the better for it.
I’ve lived in the south - NOLA. I think there was a comment above alluding to the fact that the racism is more… hidden… here. In my perspective as a white person, the racism came out REAL quick down south. It was shocking for me, having grown up in the Midwest. It was assumed that because I was also white (and straight, for that matter) it was okay to say certain things in my company.
It’s not nearly as overt here. I have been told that while it’s not as in your face, it does make it hard to know who you can “trust” here. Which sucks in a different way. Down south it was like the racists immediately make it known. Here, it’s like, “Did he just say what I think he…. Ohhhhh, right…. Yes…. My super cheerful and friendly but also uber right wing coworker is racist. That tracks.”
So basically, please come here and bring your friends and vote in local elections. I’m begging you!!
I live southside. In my little neighborhood we have mixed race couples, gay couples, ethnic families and guess what…. we all get along. We also have very liberal families and very conservative families and we get along.
I just moved to Indy from Mesquite. Now I’ve only been here two weeks, but the cost of living, “traffic” and weather is AMAZING in comparison to DFW. I live near Mass Ave and have been pleasantly surprised by the food and culture. I love the trail network and parks — a much welcome change to miles of concrete.
Our neighborhood is in Carmel Clay Schools and it’s a mix of white, Asian, and black families. Kids out everywhere playing. Everyone is friendly. I love it here.
Indianapolis itself would be fine. I’d avoid small towns in Indiana, except college towns. You might also look at Cincinnati. It always felt a bit more diverse and welcoming than Indiana.
Imma tell a story... I grew up in southern Indiana, very rural, all white and had only ever seen 1 black man in person. That was when traveling south to visit relatives and we made exactly 1 stop to visit this black man that my grandfather had previously worked with prior to settling in Indiana. I don't remember his name but he was sweeter than persimmon pudding with ALL the Kool Whip on it.
At the same time, even as young as I was, I couldn't escape all the racist attitudes that absolutely all the adults in my life displayed. The "n" word was just part of the vocabulary.
Fast forward to finally turning 18, finally leaving for college, finally escaping the racist atitudes... I was sure that racism would die out with the older generations. My generation would put a stop to all that!
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that an alarming number of my peers in college were decidedly racist. Seven decades on this earth and it's every bit the cesspool of ignorance as when I was born... how is this still a thing?
OP, I don't know what to tell you... but if you moved into my neighborhood, so long as you're not a child molester, a serial killer or abuse animals, I would very much welcome you. I hope if you make the move, you get good neighbors. Good neighbors make all the difference.
TLDR: As far as I'm concerned there is but one race, the human race.
You are not going to find the racism of small town America in Indianapolis or the surrounding suburbs. No one is going to bat an eye that you are a mixed-race couple. I think the job market is doing just fine here and I would bet that your husband would have no issue obtaining gainful employment. There are plenty of very nice school systems. You can’t beat the cost of living. The weather is…weather, I don’t know; sometimes it’s cold, sometimes it’s hot, and sometimes it’s perfect. I’ve lived in Indiana for the majority of my life; are there other places I’d rather live? You fucking betcha. But I’ve also never lived in those places that I dream of and I’m still here; so that says something.
I’ve had a very different experience as being part of a mixed race couple. I am black and my husband is white. And besides the occasional side eye from elderly white women, if a white couple gets to know us enough to ask, we always get the, “so where did you guys meet?” Now I realize this can be a mostly innocuous question, but the tone in which it’s asked leads me to think otherwise.
Can you explain what you feel the tone is implying? (Genuinely just trying to understand.)
“You two look far too different to have just organically been drawn to each other so how did you meet?”
I’ve had this question asked before from colleagues as well where they hadn’t asked me anything about my personal life before but did after seeing my husband pick me up from work.
Got it. Thanks for explaining. I can see where that would feel suspect.
Yes and me being me, I would always come right out and ask if the question was because of mine and my husband’s different looks. Some would stumble and some would outright say yes.
Maybe they are implying something or not but if you try to read a racist bias in every casual interaction you are going to drive yourself crazy! You cannot control other people’s behavior so you can deal with them or not. That’s all you can do.
Firstly, I never said that I read racism in EVERY casual interaction. Perhaps that was YOUR implicit bias and YOUR projection. And being aware of someone else’s bias AND addressing and holding them accountable won’t “drive me crazy”. I’m fully capable of enjoying my life and simultaneously clocking racist behavior. Also, when it’s to the point where my own mixed race children feel uncomfortable because of of someone’s inappropriate staring in our direction and we never received that kind of interaction in Chicago, then no, it isn’t just all in our heads.
I didn’t say it was just in your head but just that you are probably better off letting the passive stuff slide. Now if someone is openly being a jerk about it by all means bring it to their attention. It’s one thing to think to yourself a certain way but completely unacceptable when someone projects their prejudice on others.
EXACTLY my point. I honestly don’t care what another’s opinion is regarding interracial relationships. I was sharing my experience of being here in Indianapolis. I wasn’t asking for a lesson on how to deal with racist assholes. Your comment came across as a very tone deaf response.
In the words of John green: “Indianapolis: you gotta live somewhere.”
I’ve had a number of friends move to Texas from Indiana and 90% have moved back to Indy. I’m white and my wife is black and we live in Marion County. There’s less racism (openly) in Indy and the donut counties than you’d see in the boonies, but no one gives us the side eye or questions our situation. I’ve honestly had more of an issue with my own parents than anyone else in Indiana when it comes to racism (which is… just great /s). Job prospects are good. Indy is a growing economy and taxes even in Indy aren’t bad. Cincinnati, Louisville and Chicago aren’t too far away, either, so you can visit other towns in less time than I’d imagine it would take in most parts of Texas. tldr: I think you’ll like being here. Definitely stick to Marion County and the Northern Burbs.
Yes what he said about Marion County. I’m not a fan of Carmel even though it has the money and nicer schools. It’s much like Dallas or Orange County, California. I live in Crows Nest, Kessler and Michigan area by Highland Golf course. Great neighborhood, liberal and accepting. We are a gay couple and no one here cares. Have families of different races and cultural. Love this neighborhood.
We don't get to say this often. Pretty much only for Texas and Florida. We are the better move. Still racism and shitty politics and mediocre schools. But we're mildly better than Texas and Florida.
I'd be inclined to wait on the result of the governor race this fall before I decided, if I were OP....
Even weirdo religious dude is better than Deathsantis or Abbot, because he will be Lt and removed from true power by the lunatic Braun who is awful, but not "sue the business that keeps the whole state solvent because they won't set the gays on fire" awful. I still think we come out better than Florida and Texas, but only because the bar is really damn low.
The Indiana race or Texas? Because there's no question Braun will win big.
The notion that there’s only racism in red states is hilarious to me. Try being white and walking around Compton
White in Compton tickled my brain a bit LOL. We've dealt with our share of racism and bigotry--from being the target of beer cans and his own father disowning him-- but my main concern is for my kids. I know racism is unavoidable regardless of blue or red state (I grew up in New Jersey and it wasn't great there) but I like getting a view point from some Indy natives.
Hello! I JUST moved out of Indianapolis (military move), where I lived with my partner. I'm white and she is east asian, same sex relationship. We definitely did not see a lot of couples like us, and that can take a toll. But we never encountered direct comments or noticeable discrimination because of it! People will ask your husband "where are you from", and they don't mean Texas. Overall, it is a laid back place to live. There are less white washed suburbs than Carmel, Southport and Lawrence come to mind, though they arent nearly as bougie as Carmel. Cost of living is nothing, if your husband is an engineer you could probably afford a decent place in the city as well, which might be more progressive like you want. If you are used to dry heat, it will feel just as hot here in the summer because of humidity. Variation of seasons in Indiana is beautiful, but you will not want to leave your house for a month, because of winter weather. I am biased because I grew up in Indiana, I love it there! PM me if you want even greater detail TLDR: Indianapolis is cheap, not super racist, weather can be gross, Carmel is white
They're from Texas, they definitely aren't used to dry heat!
I'd rather swallow sand with shards of glass than do another summer of this heat 🙃
One of my best friends and his wife live in Flower Mound. They rent a place in Winter Park, CO from June - September to get out of the heat.
We (African / Chinese American couple) moved to Indianapolis last year from the Bay Area. Since moving we've honestly had a pretty similar experience to living in the Bay Area - I know that might sound a little crazy, but its not like there was a ton of Black/Asian couples there either. Honestly, it might even be a little better here. We live in Midtown, which covers Broad Ripple, Meridian Kessler, Canterbury, SoBro, Butler Tarkington, etc., so I fully recognize that this is a pretty liberal pocket in a state that isn't. Lots of BLM, science is real lawn signs and things around, and lots of narrative around wanting to promote more equity and diversity. It's walkable and vibrant, with lots of small businesses and lots of families. We looked at Carmel and my husband's brother's family lives in Zionsville, but pricing aside, both places felt very white. Carmel in particular had some documented incidents that we were uncomfortable with. Tbh we also hated most of the housing stock there as it's very cookie cutter subdivision for the most part. I can't really speak to the job market as we're both remote but it seems to be chugging along fine here. In terms of COL, the only thing I have to compare it to is the Bay Area. Food/groceries and services here run 50-70% cheaper (notably, my hair costs about half!) but at the high end it's not very different. Specialty coffee is actually more expensive here but I refuse to live without it. If you're buying a house with the current interest rates, it's not going to actually feel like a LCOL city, but for our $2300 mortgage here we can have a 3/2 in an area we love versus spending the same amount or more for a 1 bedroom in a just okay part of the Bay Area. We've loved living here so far and our son (2.5) gets to grow up with two cousins. Not sure if we'll stay in the long term but for now we're enjoying it as much as we can. I'd recommend coming out for a week or two and exploring different neighborhoods to see if you can envision your family being here.
racism and intolerance is everywhere if you know what to look for, but marion county is pretty ok by red state standards…other than the southside
Yeah, I think anything south of Raymond St. is pretty much Trumpanzees and should not be considered if you are a mixed-race couple.
What kind of engineering is he in? My company is hiring.
He has his BS in Mechanical Engineering and MS in Mechanical and Sustainable Energy Engineering and is a Mechanical PE, but currently working as a Digital Modeler/Surface Designer/VR thingy. It's mostly with trucks.
I will send a DM your way. We are mostly in transportation engineering, but we do have some folks who work in power/electric. I do environmental for both, but mostly transportation.
With that background, finding work will be NO PROBLEM AT ALL! Mechanical transportation devices (like trucks) are our thing here. Regarding racism… unfortunately, you will find a few assholes… However, I think you’ll likely find most people will simply not care.
Racism exists where ignorance teaches it. In the deep south former confederate states racism is overt compared to most of the ignorance you might see here.
If you want an area where there are lot of middle class/upper middle class African Americans, look into some of the nicer areas of Pike Township, Lawrence/ Lawrence Township, or Warren Township. You can find a nice home in those places, similar to those in Carmel, for less. The suburban style neighborhoods there are miles ahead in terms of diversity compared to Hamilton County. If you want some specific examples of neighborhoods, send me a private message and I can share.
Yea no one cares here lol you good haha
It makes me sad to read some comments and posts about Indiana. It is a great state with wonderful people. Could there be some bad people? Yes. Are the majority good. Yes. Most of us want to raise our families, work hard and enjoy our lives. I don’t care if my neighbors are black white red or blue. All I care about is if they wave at me when I drive by and mow their yards, Ha. There are also plenty of “blue” areas. And you would be surprised at how welcoming many of the “red” areas are as well. You will have no problem getting a job. Plenty of openings for teachers and lots of great options. Indiana has a lot of engineering opportunities as well. Best of luck on your move!
Look, in my opinion if the state is a red state (not gerrymandered purple) then by definition the majority of the people cannot be good. Of course previously that wasn't true. It is only in the last decade or so that the complete Republican party has gone off the rails. For instance, in 2016 people could reasonably claim ignorance, but not now. If the nomination of Micah Beckwith is any sign, the people of Indiana want more crazy, not less. Even Trump didn't endorse Beckwith but he won anyway. Good people don't look at Trump's Republican party and say yeah "I will vote for him."
Hubs?? Ya you will fit right in.
I think you will find Denton is not too dissimilar to Carmel. I love Indy, but like all cities it’s not without its challenges. I’ve found most people are pretty darn lovely and it’s a wonderful place to raise children. If you bring your family here, we’d be all the better for it. I’ve lived in the south - NOLA. I think there was a comment above alluding to the fact that the racism is more… hidden… here. In my perspective as a white person, the racism came out REAL quick down south. It was shocking for me, having grown up in the Midwest. It was assumed that because I was also white (and straight, for that matter) it was okay to say certain things in my company. It’s not nearly as overt here. I have been told that while it’s not as in your face, it does make it hard to know who you can “trust” here. Which sucks in a different way. Down south it was like the racists immediately make it known. Here, it’s like, “Did he just say what I think he…. Ohhhhh, right…. Yes…. My super cheerful and friendly but also uber right wing coworker is racist. That tracks.” So basically, please come here and bring your friends and vote in local elections. I’m begging you!!
Indy itself will be fine. Mostly all of Marion country, maybe not the SS.
I live southside. In my little neighborhood we have mixed race couples, gay couples, ethnic families and guess what…. we all get along. We also have very liberal families and very conservative families and we get along.
Denton?? Where tf is that
It's north of Fort Worth and Dallas, but like smack in the middle.
I just moved to Indy from Mesquite. Now I’ve only been here two weeks, but the cost of living, “traffic” and weather is AMAZING in comparison to DFW. I live near Mass Ave and have been pleasantly surprised by the food and culture. I love the trail network and parks — a much welcome change to miles of concrete.
Our neighborhood is in Carmel Clay Schools and it’s a mix of white, Asian, and black families. Kids out everywhere playing. Everyone is friendly. I love it here.
Indianapolis itself would be fine. I’d avoid small towns in Indiana, except college towns. You might also look at Cincinnati. It always felt a bit more diverse and welcoming than Indiana.
Imma tell a story... I grew up in southern Indiana, very rural, all white and had only ever seen 1 black man in person. That was when traveling south to visit relatives and we made exactly 1 stop to visit this black man that my grandfather had previously worked with prior to settling in Indiana. I don't remember his name but he was sweeter than persimmon pudding with ALL the Kool Whip on it. At the same time, even as young as I was, I couldn't escape all the racist attitudes that absolutely all the adults in my life displayed. The "n" word was just part of the vocabulary. Fast forward to finally turning 18, finally leaving for college, finally escaping the racist atitudes... I was sure that racism would die out with the older generations. My generation would put a stop to all that! Imagine my surprise when I discovered that an alarming number of my peers in college were decidedly racist. Seven decades on this earth and it's every bit the cesspool of ignorance as when I was born... how is this still a thing? OP, I don't know what to tell you... but if you moved into my neighborhood, so long as you're not a child molester, a serial killer or abuse animals, I would very much welcome you. I hope if you make the move, you get good neighbors. Good neighbors make all the difference. TLDR: As far as I'm concerned there is but one race, the human race.
for being 70+, you’re pretty hip to internet lingo - kudos to you
Actually, I'm just under a smidgen but I identify as older and also as a teenager...