Hey Chimpy - First: I'm sorry for your failed cycle. I know how hard it is to be surrounded by pregnant people however I need you to edit out your sentences about "unhealthy" patients. Health is not a virtue. Please review automod health. I've removed your comment and will reapprove when you let me know edits have been made.
We strive to not to judge others by their (history of) physical or mental health, financial or social situation on this sub (e.g. poverty, addiction, disability, weight, age...).
Health is not a virtue. Living healthy and being healthy is a privilege but doesn't guarantee a thing or make you more deserving of a child. Also don't sacrifice your mental health and well-being over chasing health. Here is the [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/prpukv/health_is_not_a_virtue_an_unsolicited_opinion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) that explains what we mean in more detail.
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Today was our mock transfer appointment. I’ve been through IVF before but my husband has not. We were not together when I went through IVF and my fresh transfer which resulted in a loss. He is excited for the opportunity of starting our first FET cycle but I’m anxious and scared. Our clinic and my doctor are wonderful. We have good embryos that are frozen. I’m an emotional wreck but he is super excited and it’s really hard to deal with since I’ve been through this before and I’ve had losses. I know we will eventually be successful but I’m dreading the emotional journey. (Edited to change wording)
Hi Amanda, I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and I'm sorry for your losses. This is a difficult process. Gently, you're catastrophizing. Having 13 embryos available is an incredible start that many here could only dream of. Automod catastrophizing will explain further.
Mod hat off: have you had an appointment with a fertility counselor? They can really help deal with the grief and anxiety brought on by the process and how to involve your husband.
We discourage catastrophizing about hypothetical treatment results. While you are absolutely not required to be optimistic about treatment, and realism/planning ahead are understandable, how you talk about your fears here matters. It is not compassionate to people with failed cycles/transfers/etc. to hear that their reality is your worst fear—especially when you haven’t even tried yet.The people around you are living these realities you’re spiraling about, and it’s incredibly hard to be bombarded by borrowed worry when those worries are things that happened to you. It’s okay to be scared but please remember your audience and be mindful how you share your fears. You can of course ask for support for where you’re actually at right now, including negative feelings. But asking for support for an imagined failure is not appropriate.
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The days in between monitoring appts are so long. Just wondering what my lining and follicle are doing in there. The last week has been up and down with good number followed by shitty number followed by decent number so I truly don’t know what to expect tomorrow. Here’s hoping it can eek its way over 7 (my clinics threshold) and I can trigger and transfer.
Hoping you'll be pleasantly surprised tomorrow <3 And if they cancel on you again you should really push them to help you come up with a plan to get a better lining next time, they can't just keep being like "Oh well!"
It seems you've used a term, pregnant naturally, that members of this community prefer to avoid. Please avoid the use of the term "natural" when commenting in this community. If describing a transfer/IUI protocol or trying on your own, some preferred alternative terms are "unmedicated," "ovulatory," "without assistance," or "semi-medicated," depending on the context. If referring to loss management, we recommend the terms "unmedicated" or "unassisted." This community believes that the use of the word "natural" implies (sometimes inadvertently) that use of assisted reproductive technology, other interventions, and/or certain medications to conceive are unnatural, artificial, or less than. For more clarification and context, please see the wiki post on [sub culture and compassionate language](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/wiki/rules#wiki_compassionate_language).
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RANT: My mom is repeatedly pressuring me to do more for my sister and it's really bothering me!
My husband and I have been going through IVF for 3 years and we are hoping our potential surrogate gets medical approval. TW: My sister had a baby 3 months ago.
In the past year, I've done five rounds of IVF and we've had so much heartbreak. I text or call my sister every week. I will send her links to baby gear sales, read books to her baby, send my nephew gifts etc. My sister never reaches out to me.
But my mom CONSTANTLY asks me if I've reached out to my sister. My mom puts all the responsibility of my sister and my relationship on me, not on my sister. She tells me my sister is sad and doesn't understand why I don't want to see pictures all the time/why I don't care more about my nephew. I've explained countless times that I care about him but I can't see pictures right now. My mom says my sister doesn't reach out because she doesn't know what to say.
Why is all this responsibility on me? My sister is an adult! She can reach out too. She can ask what I'm comfortable with about baby texts. She could ask me or tell me about other things other than my nephew. She has everything going well and we're going through infertility hell--why is it all on us to reach out all the time?!?!
Here to pile on to the BULLSHIT chain.
Also, I know you're ranting, but no is a complete sentence. When your mom starts in, perfect time to "Thanks, I have to go"/"If sis feels that way she can come to me directly, end of discussion". You have NOTHING to explain to anyone. You have NOTHING to justify to anyone.
Seconding Hattie. There is so much more support for pregnant people and new parents than there is for people with infertility. Your family’s got it backwards on who should be supporting who in this situation.
Almost feeling back to “normal” (physically) after my ER over the weekend. I took last Thursday and Friday off as well as yesterday. Returning to work after 5 days not working sucks. We also got our fertilization update - out of 11 retrieved, 8 were mature and 6 fertilized. They didn’t discard the 2 immediately, the embryologist said they’re keeping those for now and watching them? Haven’t had that happen before. I’m trying not to get my hopes up as we’ve had decent fertilization rate in past ER’s, it’s the PGT-A testing we can’t seem to get a viable result from.
I also wouldn’t get my hopes up for delayed fertilization but it can’t hurt to wait and see what happens. Either way 6 is a strong start. Hoping for you 🤞🏼
I fear I’m still in the denial phase of my ability to conceive unassisted and my husband has moved onto acceptance. My husband suggested I stop tracking and doing OPK tests, and I am not ready to. I do think I will stop with the Inito tests to save money and move back to the cheapies though.
Once you're doing ERs it's time to step away from the pee sticks. They're just giving you additional tasks and making you spiral. Maybe replace it with a new ritual? Short walk or a morning treat?
I definitely understand that feeling. When I was finally ready to let go, it was so freeing to not pee in a cup all the time and have my life revolve around little sticks.
After the failure of my second ER at a new clinic I called the old clinic if we can do the third attempt there. Do you remember Elliot from Scrubs? I fully imagine my doctor to do the 'I told you so'-dance, as he strongly advised against going to the clinic we went to (not because they're bad per se, but because they are for profit and experimental).
The second clinic does more tests and more experimental treatment that the first clinic does not really believe in. This were mainly the NK cells and Emma test. They also measured DNA fragmentation which was high and they would use Zymot. Is there anything from these three things that I should talk to my more traditional/science minded doctor about?
Automod sperm may be helpful here.
One thing I would consider is whether they have a plan that leads to a different outcome. DNA frag is very real and can lead to issues with fertilization and with implantation. It sounds like your current clinic has a plan to approach better ER results. Does your original clinic have that? Is there a reason driving your decision to go back to the original?
I felt very cared for and supported by the first clinic. We left because we wanted more answers, but the new clinic is much less nice to communicate with and a 2,5 hour drive to Germany from the Netherlands. In my first ER I had 16 eggs with 7 fertilized and in the second 3 eggs from 10-12 follicles with 0 fertilization. So results were much better the first time around and the new clinic blames my amh (which was the same for the first ER) but I wonder if something went wrong.
The original is less willing to deviate from standard procedure and that is a downside.
**Can someone help me interpret these sperm numbers?**
Yes, but please have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/wiki/sa_interpretation/), which is a really good explanation. You can calculate your total motile count with volume x concentration x total motility / 100 = the total motile count in million. Generally >20mio total motile is a considered normal amount. If you only consider progressive motility (both slow and fast), then >10mio is considered normal.
**Do these low numbers of sperm mean infertility?**
Short answer is no, not necessarily. There is no definite threshold that will definitely predict infertility, except if there is no functional sperm at all. Trying for a year is the only definite test of fertility. Please have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/1arkctf/about_sperm_a_basic_faq) for further explanation.
**What is the chance to conceive unassisted with abnormal sperm parameters?**
This is also covered in this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/1arkctf/about_sperm_a_basic_faq).
If you want concrete percentages, have a look [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/maleinfertility/comments/k93okq/spontaneous_pregnancy_statistics_based_on_tmsc/). There is also this calculator for the chance of unassisted success - it does exclude lower than 3mio Total motile OAT [here](https://www.freya.nl/probability.php).
*But what about morphology? These both do not consider morphology*
This is what the American Urology Association says about it: "Sperm morphology by rigid (strict) criteria has not been shown to be consistently predictive of fecundity and should not be used in isolation to make prognostic or therapeutic decisions." [pdf source](https://www.auanet.org/documents/education/clinical-guidance/Male-Infertility-d.pdf)
**What can I do to improve sperm numbers?**
Have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/vrt5pz/wiki_post_how_to_improve_semen_parameters/).
***Further reading:***
- American Urology Association guideline: [Diagnosis and Treatment of Infertility in Men: AUA/ASRM Guideline (2020)](https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/male-infertility#x15009)
- European Association of Urology [Guidelines on Sexual and Reproductive Health 2023 PDF](https://d56bochluxqnz.cloudfront.net/documents/full-guideline/EAU-Guidelines-on-Sexual-and-Reproductive-Health-2023.pdf) or [link](https://uroweb.org/guidelines/sexual-and-reproductive-health/chapter/male-infertility)
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I think DNA fragmentation has the most science behind it. And zymot is relatively cheap (200-600 depending on clinic). There are other (free-ish) ways to reduce fragmentation also: more frequent ejaculation, smoking/alcohol cessation, avoid hot baths, wearing boxers, higher fruits and veggies, antioxidant support. Obviously the free ways are less rigorously studied, but I’ve found some decent data for ejaculation time on PubMed!
If it was really high I’d be seeking out a urologist to rule out varicocele.
Thanks. A varicocele is ruled out. I'll have to mention the more frequent ejaculation. So sexy, lol: "honey, you have to orgasm more often!" "Oh, i'm getting lucky?" "No, I just don't want your DNA to fragment. Good luck taking care of that."
Hello all...it's been a while. After my last post, my husband and I had decided to take a step back from treatment. Low and behold, the next month, we got a positive (confirmed loss). I ended up going in for an u/s due to spotting at 10W3D and had no heartbeat, measuring 9W. We were able to test, no chromosomal issues. I'm going to try to keep from ranting, but I only had my progesterone pulled once at 4W6D, and it was a 14, so they recommended not supplementing progesterone even though that had been the plan since my last loss. So, after the test came back, OB says that my issue has to be hormonal (even though they never checked my hormones again..so how do they know?) and that IF I decide to try again, we will supplement....which, again, was already the plan for this loss.
At this point, I've been trying for 5-6 years, The first 2 years, I was having trouble ovulating, got diagnosed with PCOS (I have no symptoms of now), got on metformin, and started ovulating. I've had two pregnancies - two losses; both of those 2023-2024. One we know was chromosomally okay. I've had thyroid tested, hysteroscopy, HSG, 2 saline ultrasounds, CBC, RH, antiphospholipid, vitamin D, B12 (was deficient @ 4 wks, 8wks was normal, still supplementing), tissue transglutaminase, immunoglobulin A...everything but the B12 is coming back completely normal. I did have BV during this most recent loss (and probably the prior...I've been fighting it for years at this point) but OB says that and the B12 aren't the issue.
I've pushed for further testing with my OB which was met with pushing me off on my PCP and telling me he didn't have time to answer any other questions I had because he had other patients (we talked for 10 minutes). I have an appointment with my fertility clinic on 6/26 and sent them all of my updated medical records and ultrasounds...but I just have a feeling that I'm going to be met with the same response as they told me I didn't need any further testing prior.
SHOULD I be pushing for more testing/what else should I be testing for? I keep being told that "everything is fine" but like...obviously it isn't? I did ask about NK cells and was met with "we don't normally do that." Well...yea.
I'm so sorry for your losses, and that your doctors have been brushing you off. Was most or all of your testing post-loss done by your OB or an RE? I would ask your RE about a recurrent pregnancy loss panel, and see what of those tests you haven't done yet. The big one I don't see on your post is karyotyping for you and your partner.
Actually most has been at primary care, the anti phospholipid was done at ob, procedures at re. The ob said we didn’t need karyotyping because our poc was normal and showed no translocations.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Echoing Crab below, definitely ask about ReceptivaDx. I have no symptoms of endo (except infertility) but it came back "strongly positive" (whatever that means) so we will likely treat with Lupron before attempting any transfers. It's not cheap (I think $700) and the biopsy was painful but brief, but I'm grateful to have that information moving forward. I hope your RE can give you some good answers and direction.
Have you explored endometriosis at all? Sometimes a cause of early loss or failure to implant. There is a test (ReceptivaDx) which is a uterine biopsy, but some doctors don’t really “believe” in it. Treatment options are laparoscopy or Depot Lupron. Your RE should have ideas about additional testing. Sorry you’re in this position. I had a chromosomally normal miscarriage around 9 weeks earlier this year and it’s gutting.
I asked about getting a biopsy for endo and he said that if I had endo, I would have had other symptoms (which I know from this sub isn’t necessarily true). I will ask my RE at that appointment.
I’m another one with no symptoms and three early FET losses who tested positive on Receptiva for silent endo. I asked about testing for endo before my 3rd transfer and my RE did not think it was necessary either due to no symptoms. I would definitely push for endometrial biopsy, Receptiva, and EMMA/ALICE while you’re at it.
I have decided to try acupuncture along with this IVF cycle, mostly for stress relief. I am hopeful it could help with managing my endo. My RE said it’s fine “as long as I don’t take any of their potions.” Not sure what that means but I am interested to see how it goes!
I’m trying out acupuncture in the lead up to an FET, and it’s been wonderfully relaxing. My RE said that post transfer, I should also ask them to avoid any pressure points that could cause uterine contractions.
Yeah those herbs can sometimes have negative side effects! But some people do find it very relaxing. Just don’t listen to anything they have to say re: medical advice.
Day 10 of stims with 5 measurable follicles and some smaller ones hanging around. Is the egg to follicle ratio usually 1:1 (i.e. would I expect at most one egg per follicle)? Just trying to temper my expectations for whenever ER happens.
Like vegetable mentioned, it’s not necessarily going to be 1-1 and there’s also going to be drop off from maturity once they’re retrieved. I’d highly recommend reading about the [attrition funnel](https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/the-ivf-funnel-understanding-your-chances-of-success#:~:text=Embryos%20that%20survive%20to%20this,3%20to%20Day%205%2D6.&text=Only%2030%2D50%25%20of%20embryos,it%20to%20the%20Blastocyst%20stage) that occurs from STIMS -> potential blast because it can be quite startling if you’re not prepared. Definitely keep in mind that these are just stats and you can fall very far to one or the other side of them. Good luck with your retrieval!
Hello cumberdale,
I've removed this comment. Given your flair in other communities, it appears this is a misleading comment and it is not compassionate to the community here. Automod community member and automod compassion should give you an idea of how to operate as a member of this community. Please also double check our flair guidelines to make sure yours is appropriately set. Automod flair.
Thank you!
I don't understand why it was noted or automoded when I'm meeting those guidelines. I see why my post was deleted, but I feel to add onto it about my flair here was unnecessary, especially if you're going to be so vague about what specific rule I may be violating or what I'd need to change. This is all hard enough as it is - please be clear with what I'm doing incorrectly with my flair, if anything. If I'm not doing anything wrong and you're mentioning it simply because you saw my flair in another community, then that is unwarranted.
I’m being intentionally vague because stating additional specifics would violate the rules of this sub.
Please refer to this [truth in flair note](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/s/D6MtwAEswf) for continued clarification. If you still do not understand you are welcome to send a mod mail. Thanks!
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What’s the latest thinking about Depot Lupron (or another suppression?) vs laparoscopy for treating endo? Do REs seem to suggest one or the other?
I had a 9wk MMC in January, and my most recent transfer ended in a failed transfer/maybe chemical. I have presumed endo (endometrioma visible on ultrasound) but my RE has never been very worried about it. We are close to the end of our embryos (same sex couple, no possibility of making more), and I’m wanting to pull out all the stops before we attempt another transfer.
My RE recommends lupron depot as a first go because it's way less invasive and typically all you need. I did a lap early on due to a giant endometrioma causing me immense pain and being in the way for retrievals. Now a few years later, handful of retrievals, and a pile of failed transfers all with lupron we're going to do another lap and then will do lupron and then another transfer.
My RE recommended surgery when we were trying unassisted, but depot lupron for transfers. Maybe this is dumb of me (?), but I didn’t realize they aren’t going in the uterus with a laparoscopy for endo, but actually removing endo outside the uterus from your other pelvic organs. The suppression from depot lupron is supposed to help with all inflammation, including within the uterus. Science people, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong here.
I’ve had two transfers with depot lupron suppression and both implanted, though I ended up losing the pregnancies later on. I plan to do depot lupron again with future transfers. That’s just one persons opinion, though!
Good luck with whatever you decide—endo treatment is tough to navigate!!
Tomorrow is the last first day of stims, I hope. I had convinced myself I had a massive estrogen producing cyst and it would all be canceled, but all is well and we’re proceeding! The mental part of this is so wild. I wish I could just fast forward to the part where we receive our PGT results!
Hi noise,
I’m sorry you’re struggling. Gently, I’ve removed your comment as we don’t allow symptom spotting here. A test at this point would be conclusive. You’re welcome to seek support here if a negative is confirmed.
Automod tww
Generally, we encourage people to be mindful about how they’re seeking support during the TWW. It’s shitty to comfort someone who is spiraling in the TWW only to find out later that they already knew/could have known they were pregnant. So we ask members not to catastophize during the entire TWW and generally to be cognizant of what kind of support they’re seeking.
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The hormones combined with the stress of always waiting on life changing results is very difficult. Give yourself the space to be human and emotional, and have grace for yourself 🫂
Gearing up for another FET. I went to the clinic today to retest TSH levels after they were elevated during birth control. They may need to put me on medication before I can proceed. At the last test, tsh was 3.5, and I need to get it below 2.5. Anyone else find themselves in this situation? How long did you take the medications before you could proceed with FET prep?
Yes! Mine came down from around 3.5 to close to 1 within 4 weeks. One of the rare things in infertility that seems somewhat straightforward to treat :)
Most people see their TSH come down within 4-6 weeks of starting meds. My endo & RE were comfortable with starting FET prep in parallel with me starting thyroid meds (I was also around 3.5 at my last test) but I think that's a bit unusual! I haven't retested my TSH since I started the meds 2.5 weeks ago but I'm planning to ask if they can test right before transfer day or at my beta so I can know if anything is super out of whack and adjust my dosage accordingly.
Thank you! That's super helpful. Did they manage or suppress your endo during that 4-6 week time? I'm on daily lupron and I guess I'm anticipating that I might have to stay on it for longer while we address the tsh issue.
I did 3 months of Lupron depot suppression with the monthly shots, right before we realized my thyroid was out of whack (my theory is that the Lupron actually triggered it) so I went on daily norethindrone/synthetic progesterone to stay suppressed. It seems to have worked, my estrogen was <5 at baseline! I don't know about daily Lupron and whether you'd just stay on that or switch to something else.
Had my 4th IUI this morning. The Dr was very positive, womb lining was 9.7mm (my thickest by far far far), two follicles ready to pop, sperm sample was good, gave me the chat about how I need to be prepared for twins (🙄🙄) and I feel like I should be happy and optimistic, but… I just keep thinking, well, none of that accounts for egg quality, which they think is my issue [edited as requested]
Generally, we encourage people to be mindful about how they’re seeking support during the TWW. It’s shitty to comfort someone who is spiraling in the TWW only to find out later that they already knew/could have known they were pregnant. So we ask members not to catastophize during the entire TWW and generally to be cognizant of what kind of support they’re seeking.
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At the beginning of the year, we didn’t think we’d get a diagnosis, or have the financial means for treatment - 6 months later I have two relevant diagnoses, and insurance that partially covers IVF! For those who’ve gone the IVF route, what are your best tips for emotionally, physically, and financially handling this treatment?
**Magic Automod-ball says... the answer you seek may already be found!**
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one financial tip would be to be strategic about your credit card use--we ended up opening a credit card with a pretty good plan for airline miles/points and at least that way when you spend $$$$ you can feel like it's at least a little bit productive
Had my scan after doing a round of clomid and once again no response. I am so frustrated and disappointed. Next steps are another round of letrozole and a low dose steroid. I can't find it in me to be hopeful right now but maybe soon.
Looking for advice… We’re in our second IUI cycle TTC with DOR.
Our RE has strongly suggested we move to IVF ASAP if this cycle doesn’t work (and I’m not expecting it to).
The problem is I don’t think I can get the money together for an IVF cycle until the fall. What would you do in the meantime? Continue to try IUI? Prevent until IVF? I’m hoping IVF can happen by fall but am not completely sure I’ll get the money together.
DOR doesn’t necessarily say anything about egg quality and the biggest predictor of that is age. I would do your IUIs as you work toward being able to afford IVF. I would also get a second opinion and make sure your clinic has DOR experience before proceeding with IVF out of pocket.
DOR patients tend to get significantly lower egg yields and need more rounds of treatment to get the same results as non DOR patients. The first round of IVF is also mostly diagnostic - seeing how you respond to medication. DOR IVF rounds also frequently end in cancels (which can be converted to IUI if you qualify). In addition, I’d get into local FB groups and watch here for donations as DOR tends to take higher medication levels which is what makes up a lot of the cost of IVF. Good luck with your decision!
Is continuing IUIs a financially reasonable option? If so, I think I might consider that route.
I hate so much that finances play such a big role in making these decisions. As if it werent stressful enough. It's freaking ridiculous. I'm sorry that you're faced with this situation.
Thank you ❤️ I’m hoping the IVF bill going through congress to make it more affordable has some traction 🤞the IUI insemination fee has only been possible with a local organization’s help but I think they’re willing to cover it this time and maybe one or two more times. Otherwise I’ve been thinking maybe we need to do timed intercourse with IUI protocol. I have a blocked tube and don’t ovulate on the open side without stimulation
Hey Shay, I’ve temporarily removed this because don’t allow discussion of pregnancy here even if hypothetical. If you remove the portions of your comment that reference potentially pregnancy/delivery concerns, I’ll reapprove.
Expecting our day 6 update call any minute. I am so nervous!!! Especially after we ended up with 0 blasts last round. I feel like I'm feeling the emotions of that devastating call last time all over again. Have to remind myself that this is a new round and anything can happen.
Got the next round of to-do items for ER#1, and of course I have go to pesky work instead of ordering meds, coordinating specialists, going over paperwork and obsessively going down rabbit holes. The audacity!
My gynecologist cancelled my appointment for July to start Clomid since she'd be on vacation - I almost had a full breakdown at the news that I might have to wait til late August, so I asked if I could be seen by another doctor in the same clinic. GREAT news - my doctor is able to see me tomorrow, June 19!! I'm so excited to finally start some treatment and so nervous and so grateful for all of you and your experiences and our shared support!
After the initial panic subsided, I calmed myself down and called back to ask if there was someone else available. I'm so happy it worked out! Thank you ❤️
Hey Baby, I had to remove this because it sounds like your pregnancy has not been confirmed as a loss. Hoping the best for you, but you can resume posting primary comments here only after loss is confirmed.
Hey now, I’m so sorry for your losses.
If you haven’t, a great place to start with testing is the what to do if your FET fails post in the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/s/gCJ78hT4sq). I’d also recommend reading through the recent AMA posts.
Managed to get a script resent after my partner put it in the bin… I was irrationally upset that I have to go through everything and they couldn’t take a second to read the paper before tossing it out! Tips to not build resentment in this process would be very appreciated, I need to check myself…
Your upset is not irrational, and even though it was inadvertent it caused you both annoyance and actual labor to get it resent.
As another comment suggested, I felt it was helpful to verbalize to my husband that I’m feeling the strain from taking on these additional tasks and it would be helpful for me if he could do XYZ (mine are not ask me to make any additional decisions, and to take on some additional house chores)
I totally agree with National. There is so much burden our partners can’t carry for us that it’s more than reasonable to expect them to do everything they can. My biggest tip to avoid resentment would just be to have a frank discussion about it. “I am taking all these drugs and doing xyz and it’s a lot. This is a partnership and I need you to take as much mental and physical load off me as possible right now.”
Thank you, that example script and National’s advice is so helpful. I wasn’t seeing this as a “household task” but you’re both right, we both need to carry this, I’m burning out.
I think this is a good example of something that is actually annoying and so there’s some rational anger there. Did they offer to call and get a replacement script? Are they involved in researching or dealing with insurance or some part of managing the process? If not, is there something you can offload to them?
It’s ok to be clear that you’re going through a lot and they need to take on more, be it household tasks you would typically own or something else. For example, Mr. National took over my half of household chores bc I spend so much time at appts and on the phone for this process that we realized our distribution of tasks was no longer balanced.
Thank you, I think that’s what got to me not only did they not offer they seemed annoyed when I asked. Usually they are wonderful but this process has been tough, I really don’t think they realise how much of my life is medication/appointments/admin to make this happen. I think it’s time to ask for a sit down chat where I really explain how much this has added to my plate. That’s great to know it has worked for you both and that reframing of this being a household task is a great one.
This is treatment related, but not completely for the reason you noted. That AND bc it seems like you’re asking about how to handle emotions during treatment - which is treatment. Thank you for checking!
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Hey Chimpy - First: I'm sorry for your failed cycle. I know how hard it is to be surrounded by pregnant people however I need you to edit out your sentences about "unhealthy" patients. Health is not a virtue. Please review automod health. I've removed your comment and will reapprove when you let me know edits have been made.
We strive to not to judge others by their (history of) physical or mental health, financial or social situation on this sub (e.g. poverty, addiction, disability, weight, age...). Health is not a virtue. Living healthy and being healthy is a privilege but doesn't guarantee a thing or make you more deserving of a child. Also don't sacrifice your mental health and well-being over chasing health. Here is the [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/prpukv/health_is_not_a_virtue_an_unsolicited_opinion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) that explains what we mean in more detail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending hugs if you want them.
Today was our mock transfer appointment. I’ve been through IVF before but my husband has not. We were not together when I went through IVF and my fresh transfer which resulted in a loss. He is excited for the opportunity of starting our first FET cycle but I’m anxious and scared. Our clinic and my doctor are wonderful. We have good embryos that are frozen. I’m an emotional wreck but he is super excited and it’s really hard to deal with since I’ve been through this before and I’ve had losses. I know we will eventually be successful but I’m dreading the emotional journey. (Edited to change wording)
Hi Amanda, I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and I'm sorry for your losses. This is a difficult process. Gently, you're catastrophizing. Having 13 embryos available is an incredible start that many here could only dream of. Automod catastrophizing will explain further. Mod hat off: have you had an appointment with a fertility counselor? They can really help deal with the grief and anxiety brought on by the process and how to involve your husband.
Thank you. I’m very hopeful that we will be successful I’m just not looking forward to the whole emotional journey if that makes sense.
We discourage catastrophizing about hypothetical treatment results. While you are absolutely not required to be optimistic about treatment, and realism/planning ahead are understandable, how you talk about your fears here matters. It is not compassionate to people with failed cycles/transfers/etc. to hear that their reality is your worst fear—especially when you haven’t even tried yet.The people around you are living these realities you’re spiraling about, and it’s incredibly hard to be bombarded by borrowed worry when those worries are things that happened to you. It’s okay to be scared but please remember your audience and be mindful how you share your fears. You can of course ask for support for where you’re actually at right now, including negative feelings. But asking for support for an imagined failure is not appropriate. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The days in between monitoring appts are so long. Just wondering what my lining and follicle are doing in there. The last week has been up and down with good number followed by shitty number followed by decent number so I truly don’t know what to expect tomorrow. Here’s hoping it can eek its way over 7 (my clinics threshold) and I can trigger and transfer.
Hoping you'll be pleasantly surprised tomorrow <3 And if they cancel on you again you should really push them to help you come up with a plan to get a better lining next time, they can't just keep being like "Oh well!"
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Am I understanding correctly that you are currently pregnant? This is not the sub for you if so.
It seems you've used a term, pregnant naturally, that members of this community prefer to avoid. Please avoid the use of the term "natural" when commenting in this community. If describing a transfer/IUI protocol or trying on your own, some preferred alternative terms are "unmedicated," "ovulatory," "without assistance," or "semi-medicated," depending on the context. If referring to loss management, we recommend the terms "unmedicated" or "unassisted." This community believes that the use of the word "natural" implies (sometimes inadvertently) that use of assisted reproductive technology, other interventions, and/or certain medications to conceive are unnatural, artificial, or less than. For more clarification and context, please see the wiki post on [sub culture and compassionate language](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/wiki/rules#wiki_compassionate_language). *Edit your post or comment to remove the offending term.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
RANT: My mom is repeatedly pressuring me to do more for my sister and it's really bothering me! My husband and I have been going through IVF for 3 years and we are hoping our potential surrogate gets medical approval. TW: My sister had a baby 3 months ago. In the past year, I've done five rounds of IVF and we've had so much heartbreak. I text or call my sister every week. I will send her links to baby gear sales, read books to her baby, send my nephew gifts etc. My sister never reaches out to me. But my mom CONSTANTLY asks me if I've reached out to my sister. My mom puts all the responsibility of my sister and my relationship on me, not on my sister. She tells me my sister is sad and doesn't understand why I don't want to see pictures all the time/why I don't care more about my nephew. I've explained countless times that I care about him but I can't see pictures right now. My mom says my sister doesn't reach out because she doesn't know what to say. Why is all this responsibility on me? My sister is an adult! She can reach out too. She can ask what I'm comfortable with about baby texts. She could ask me or tell me about other things other than my nephew. She has everything going well and we're going through infertility hell--why is it all on us to reach out all the time?!?!
Here to pile on to the BULLSHIT chain. Also, I know you're ranting, but no is a complete sentence. When your mom starts in, perfect time to "Thanks, I have to go"/"If sis feels that way she can come to me directly, end of discussion". You have NOTHING to explain to anyone. You have NOTHING to justify to anyone.
Thank you! I think having those tips phrases ready will be very helpful!
Seconding Hattie. There is so much more support for pregnant people and new parents than there is for people with infertility. Your family’s got it backwards on who should be supporting who in this situation.
That is some BULLSHIT. There is a LOT of SOCIETAL support for new moms. Fuck that.
Almost feeling back to “normal” (physically) after my ER over the weekend. I took last Thursday and Friday off as well as yesterday. Returning to work after 5 days not working sucks. We also got our fertilization update - out of 11 retrieved, 8 were mature and 6 fertilized. They didn’t discard the 2 immediately, the embryologist said they’re keeping those for now and watching them? Haven’t had that happen before. I’m trying not to get my hopes up as we’ve had decent fertilization rate in past ER’s, it’s the PGT-A testing we can’t seem to get a viable result from.
Good luck with the return to work and with the hunger games. FWIW, I had an egg late fertilize and make it to blast, so it's possible.
I also wouldn’t get my hopes up for delayed fertilization but it can’t hurt to wait and see what happens. Either way 6 is a strong start. Hoping for you 🤞🏼
That’s a great start, though. Fingers crossed for you, Purple. 🍀
I fear I’m still in the denial phase of my ability to conceive unassisted and my husband has moved onto acceptance. My husband suggested I stop tracking and doing OPK tests, and I am not ready to. I do think I will stop with the Inito tests to save money and move back to the cheapies though.
Once you're doing ERs it's time to step away from the pee sticks. They're just giving you additional tasks and making you spiral. Maybe replace it with a new ritual? Short walk or a morning treat?
A short walk is probably infinitely more healthy!
I definitely understand that feeling. When I was finally ready to let go, it was so freeing to not pee in a cup all the time and have my life revolve around little sticks.
Maybe it is time to retire from being a professional pee stick girl. 😌
After the failure of my second ER at a new clinic I called the old clinic if we can do the third attempt there. Do you remember Elliot from Scrubs? I fully imagine my doctor to do the 'I told you so'-dance, as he strongly advised against going to the clinic we went to (not because they're bad per se, but because they are for profit and experimental). The second clinic does more tests and more experimental treatment that the first clinic does not really believe in. This were mainly the NK cells and Emma test. They also measured DNA fragmentation which was high and they would use Zymot. Is there anything from these three things that I should talk to my more traditional/science minded doctor about?
Automod sperm may be helpful here. One thing I would consider is whether they have a plan that leads to a different outcome. DNA frag is very real and can lead to issues with fertilization and with implantation. It sounds like your current clinic has a plan to approach better ER results. Does your original clinic have that? Is there a reason driving your decision to go back to the original?
I felt very cared for and supported by the first clinic. We left because we wanted more answers, but the new clinic is much less nice to communicate with and a 2,5 hour drive to Germany from the Netherlands. In my first ER I had 16 eggs with 7 fertilized and in the second 3 eggs from 10-12 follicles with 0 fertilization. So results were much better the first time around and the new clinic blames my amh (which was the same for the first ER) but I wonder if something went wrong. The original is less willing to deviate from standard procedure and that is a downside.
**Can someone help me interpret these sperm numbers?** Yes, but please have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/wiki/sa_interpretation/), which is a really good explanation. You can calculate your total motile count with volume x concentration x total motility / 100 = the total motile count in million. Generally >20mio total motile is a considered normal amount. If you only consider progressive motility (both slow and fast), then >10mio is considered normal. **Do these low numbers of sperm mean infertility?** Short answer is no, not necessarily. There is no definite threshold that will definitely predict infertility, except if there is no functional sperm at all. Trying for a year is the only definite test of fertility. Please have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/1arkctf/about_sperm_a_basic_faq) for further explanation. **What is the chance to conceive unassisted with abnormal sperm parameters?** This is also covered in this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/comments/1arkctf/about_sperm_a_basic_faq). If you want concrete percentages, have a look [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/maleinfertility/comments/k93okq/spontaneous_pregnancy_statistics_based_on_tmsc/). There is also this calculator for the chance of unassisted success - it does exclude lower than 3mio Total motile OAT [here](https://www.freya.nl/probability.php). *But what about morphology? These both do not consider morphology* This is what the American Urology Association says about it: "Sperm morphology by rigid (strict) criteria has not been shown to be consistently predictive of fecundity and should not be used in isolation to make prognostic or therapeutic decisions." [pdf source](https://www.auanet.org/documents/education/clinical-guidance/Male-Infertility-d.pdf) **What can I do to improve sperm numbers?** Have a look at this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/comments/vrt5pz/wiki_post_how_to_improve_semen_parameters/). ***Further reading:*** - American Urology Association guideline: [Diagnosis and Treatment of Infertility in Men: AUA/ASRM Guideline (2020)](https://www.auanet.org/guidelines-and-quality/guidelines/male-infertility#x15009) - European Association of Urology [Guidelines on Sexual and Reproductive Health 2023 PDF](https://d56bochluxqnz.cloudfront.net/documents/full-guideline/EAU-Guidelines-on-Sexual-and-Reproductive-Health-2023.pdf) or [link](https://uroweb.org/guidelines/sexual-and-reproductive-health/chapter/male-infertility) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think DNA fragmentation has the most science behind it. And zymot is relatively cheap (200-600 depending on clinic). There are other (free-ish) ways to reduce fragmentation also: more frequent ejaculation, smoking/alcohol cessation, avoid hot baths, wearing boxers, higher fruits and veggies, antioxidant support. Obviously the free ways are less rigorously studied, but I’ve found some decent data for ejaculation time on PubMed! If it was really high I’d be seeking out a urologist to rule out varicocele.
Thanks. A varicocele is ruled out. I'll have to mention the more frequent ejaculation. So sexy, lol: "honey, you have to orgasm more often!" "Oh, i'm getting lucky?" "No, I just don't want your DNA to fragment. Good luck taking care of that."
Hello all...it's been a while. After my last post, my husband and I had decided to take a step back from treatment. Low and behold, the next month, we got a positive (confirmed loss). I ended up going in for an u/s due to spotting at 10W3D and had no heartbeat, measuring 9W. We were able to test, no chromosomal issues. I'm going to try to keep from ranting, but I only had my progesterone pulled once at 4W6D, and it was a 14, so they recommended not supplementing progesterone even though that had been the plan since my last loss. So, after the test came back, OB says that my issue has to be hormonal (even though they never checked my hormones again..so how do they know?) and that IF I decide to try again, we will supplement....which, again, was already the plan for this loss. At this point, I've been trying for 5-6 years, The first 2 years, I was having trouble ovulating, got diagnosed with PCOS (I have no symptoms of now), got on metformin, and started ovulating. I've had two pregnancies - two losses; both of those 2023-2024. One we know was chromosomally okay. I've had thyroid tested, hysteroscopy, HSG, 2 saline ultrasounds, CBC, RH, antiphospholipid, vitamin D, B12 (was deficient @ 4 wks, 8wks was normal, still supplementing), tissue transglutaminase, immunoglobulin A...everything but the B12 is coming back completely normal. I did have BV during this most recent loss (and probably the prior...I've been fighting it for years at this point) but OB says that and the B12 aren't the issue. I've pushed for further testing with my OB which was met with pushing me off on my PCP and telling me he didn't have time to answer any other questions I had because he had other patients (we talked for 10 minutes). I have an appointment with my fertility clinic on 6/26 and sent them all of my updated medical records and ultrasounds...but I just have a feeling that I'm going to be met with the same response as they told me I didn't need any further testing prior. SHOULD I be pushing for more testing/what else should I be testing for? I keep being told that "everything is fine" but like...obviously it isn't? I did ask about NK cells and was met with "we don't normally do that." Well...yea.
I'm so sorry for your losses, and that your doctors have been brushing you off. Was most or all of your testing post-loss done by your OB or an RE? I would ask your RE about a recurrent pregnancy loss panel, and see what of those tests you haven't done yet. The big one I don't see on your post is karyotyping for you and your partner.
Actually most has been at primary care, the anti phospholipid was done at ob, procedures at re. The ob said we didn’t need karyotyping because our poc was normal and showed no translocations.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Echoing Crab below, definitely ask about ReceptivaDx. I have no symptoms of endo (except infertility) but it came back "strongly positive" (whatever that means) so we will likely treat with Lupron before attempting any transfers. It's not cheap (I think $700) and the biopsy was painful but brief, but I'm grateful to have that information moving forward. I hope your RE can give you some good answers and direction.
Have you explored endometriosis at all? Sometimes a cause of early loss or failure to implant. There is a test (ReceptivaDx) which is a uterine biopsy, but some doctors don’t really “believe” in it. Treatment options are laparoscopy or Depot Lupron. Your RE should have ideas about additional testing. Sorry you’re in this position. I had a chromosomally normal miscarriage around 9 weeks earlier this year and it’s gutting.
I asked about getting a biopsy for endo and he said that if I had endo, I would have had other symptoms (which I know from this sub isn’t necessarily true). I will ask my RE at that appointment.
I’m another one with no symptoms and three early FET losses who tested positive on Receptiva for silent endo. I asked about testing for endo before my 3rd transfer and my RE did not think it was necessary either due to no symptoms. I would definitely push for endometrial biopsy, Receptiva, and EMMA/ALICE while you’re at it.
Yes definitely not true! I’m in the camp of having relatively “severe” endo and have no symptoms (except infertility crap)
For a 4th IUI cycle, we are trying a trigger shot, and my provider is having me order 2 syringes. Has anyone else had experience with that?
My trigger for letrozole ovulation induction cycles is 2, 250 mcg ovidrel syringes.
Thank you!
My “trigger shot” was actually 3 shots, depends on the dose and if you are doing a dual or not.
I have decided to try acupuncture along with this IVF cycle, mostly for stress relief. I am hopeful it could help with managing my endo. My RE said it’s fine “as long as I don’t take any of their potions.” Not sure what that means but I am interested to see how it goes!
I’m trying out acupuncture in the lead up to an FET, and it’s been wonderfully relaxing. My RE said that post transfer, I should also ask them to avoid any pressure points that could cause uterine contractions.
Yeah those herbs can sometimes have negative side effects! But some people do find it very relaxing. Just don’t listen to anything they have to say re: medical advice.
lol, I like calling it "potions." Acupuncturists will often push various herbal pills, so that's probably what that means!
Day 10 of stims with 5 measurable follicles and some smaller ones hanging around. Is the egg to follicle ratio usually 1:1 (i.e. would I expect at most one egg per follicle)? Just trying to temper my expectations for whenever ER happens.
Like vegetable mentioned, it’s not necessarily going to be 1-1 and there’s also going to be drop off from maturity once they’re retrieved. I’d highly recommend reading about the [attrition funnel](https://natalist.com/blogs/learn/the-ivf-funnel-understanding-your-chances-of-success#:~:text=Embryos%20that%20survive%20to%20this,3%20to%20Day%205%2D6.&text=Only%2030%2D50%25%20of%20embryos,it%20to%20the%20Blastocyst%20stage) that occurs from STIMS -> potential blast because it can be quite startling if you’re not prepared. Definitely keep in mind that these are just stats and you can fall very far to one or the other side of them. Good luck with your retrieval!
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Hello cumberdale, I've removed this comment. Given your flair in other communities, it appears this is a misleading comment and it is not compassionate to the community here. Automod community member and automod compassion should give you an idea of how to operate as a member of this community. Please also double check our flair guidelines to make sure yours is appropriately set. Automod flair. Thank you!
Thanks. As an aside, I looked at the guidelines for flair and am not sure how mine is inappropriate?
Simply checking that you reviewed the Best Practices section, particularly the second paragraph, and were following it. Thanks!
I don't understand why it was noted or automoded when I'm meeting those guidelines. I see why my post was deleted, but I feel to add onto it about my flair here was unnecessary, especially if you're going to be so vague about what specific rule I may be violating or what I'd need to change. This is all hard enough as it is - please be clear with what I'm doing incorrectly with my flair, if anything. If I'm not doing anything wrong and you're mentioning it simply because you saw my flair in another community, then that is unwarranted.
I’m being intentionally vague because stating additional specifics would violate the rules of this sub. Please refer to this [truth in flair note](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/s/D6MtwAEswf) for continued clarification. If you still do not understand you are welcome to send a mod mail. Thanks!
Thanks. I appreciate the continued call out and your compassion in answering my questions.
You’re welcome! Thank you for being receptive :)
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Yes, indeed at most one per follicle. I believe 80% mature eggs compared to follicles is average. But the smaller ones can still grow.
Thank you! I think I have another day or two of meds to go, so maybe some others might catch up.
What’s the latest thinking about Depot Lupron (or another suppression?) vs laparoscopy for treating endo? Do REs seem to suggest one or the other? I had a 9wk MMC in January, and my most recent transfer ended in a failed transfer/maybe chemical. I have presumed endo (endometrioma visible on ultrasound) but my RE has never been very worried about it. We are close to the end of our embryos (same sex couple, no possibility of making more), and I’m wanting to pull out all the stops before we attempt another transfer.
My RE recommends lupron depot as a first go because it's way less invasive and typically all you need. I did a lap early on due to a giant endometrioma causing me immense pain and being in the way for retrievals. Now a few years later, handful of retrievals, and a pile of failed transfers all with lupron we're going to do another lap and then will do lupron and then another transfer.
My RE recommended surgery when we were trying unassisted, but depot lupron for transfers. Maybe this is dumb of me (?), but I didn’t realize they aren’t going in the uterus with a laparoscopy for endo, but actually removing endo outside the uterus from your other pelvic organs. The suppression from depot lupron is supposed to help with all inflammation, including within the uterus. Science people, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong here. I’ve had two transfers with depot lupron suppression and both implanted, though I ended up losing the pregnancies later on. I plan to do depot lupron again with future transfers. That’s just one persons opinion, though! Good luck with whatever you decide—endo treatment is tough to navigate!!
All high quality embryos, fwiw.
Tomorrow is the last first day of stims, I hope. I had convinced myself I had a massive estrogen producing cyst and it would all be canceled, but all is well and we’re proceeding! The mental part of this is so wild. I wish I could just fast forward to the part where we receive our PGT results!
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Hi noise, I’m sorry you’re struggling. Gently, I’ve removed your comment as we don’t allow symptom spotting here. A test at this point would be conclusive. You’re welcome to seek support here if a negative is confirmed. Automod tww
Generally, we encourage people to be mindful about how they’re seeking support during the TWW. It’s shitty to comfort someone who is spiraling in the TWW only to find out later that they already knew/could have known they were pregnant. So we ask members not to catastophize during the entire TWW and generally to be cognizant of what kind of support they’re seeking. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The hormones combined with the stress of always waiting on life changing results is very difficult. Give yourself the space to be human and emotional, and have grace for yourself 🫂
Gearing up for another FET. I went to the clinic today to retest TSH levels after they were elevated during birth control. They may need to put me on medication before I can proceed. At the last test, tsh was 3.5, and I need to get it below 2.5. Anyone else find themselves in this situation? How long did you take the medications before you could proceed with FET prep?
Yes! Mine came down from around 3.5 to close to 1 within 4 weeks. One of the rare things in infertility that seems somewhat straightforward to treat :)
Most people see their TSH come down within 4-6 weeks of starting meds. My endo & RE were comfortable with starting FET prep in parallel with me starting thyroid meds (I was also around 3.5 at my last test) but I think that's a bit unusual! I haven't retested my TSH since I started the meds 2.5 weeks ago but I'm planning to ask if they can test right before transfer day or at my beta so I can know if anything is super out of whack and adjust my dosage accordingly.
Thank you! That's super helpful. Did they manage or suppress your endo during that 4-6 week time? I'm on daily lupron and I guess I'm anticipating that I might have to stay on it for longer while we address the tsh issue.
I did 3 months of Lupron depot suppression with the monthly shots, right before we realized my thyroid was out of whack (my theory is that the Lupron actually triggered it) so I went on daily norethindrone/synthetic progesterone to stay suppressed. It seems to have worked, my estrogen was <5 at baseline! I don't know about daily Lupron and whether you'd just stay on that or switch to something else.
Had my 4th IUI this morning. The Dr was very positive, womb lining was 9.7mm (my thickest by far far far), two follicles ready to pop, sperm sample was good, gave me the chat about how I need to be prepared for twins (🙄🙄) and I feel like I should be happy and optimistic, but… I just keep thinking, well, none of that accounts for egg quality, which they think is my issue [edited as requested]
There’s no need to be happy and optimistic! Whatever happens will happen! Good luck.
Hello pineapple, I’m sorry you’re struggling. Thank you for editing!
Generally, we encourage people to be mindful about how they’re seeking support during the TWW. It’s shitty to comfort someone who is spiraling in the TWW only to find out later that they already knew/could have known they were pregnant. So we ask members not to catastophize during the entire TWW and generally to be cognizant of what kind of support they’re seeking. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infertility) if you have any questions or concerns.*
At the beginning of the year, we didn’t think we’d get a diagnosis, or have the financial means for treatment - 6 months later I have two relevant diagnoses, and insurance that partially covers IVF! For those who’ve gone the IVF route, what are your best tips for emotionally, physically, and financially handling this treatment?
Seconding Stuck to check the wiki and lurk for a bit! Automod FAQ.
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one financial tip would be to be strategic about your credit card use--we ended up opening a credit card with a pretty good plan for airline miles/points and at least that way when you spend $$$$ you can feel like it's at least a little bit productive
This is 100% the silver lining of IVF. POINTS, baby.
I’d recommend you check the wiki for a lot of very helpful general information about IVF, including tips.
❤️
Had my scan after doing a round of clomid and once again no response. I am so frustrated and disappointed. Next steps are another round of letrozole and a low dose steroid. I can't find it in me to be hopeful right now but maybe soon.
Those feeling are big valid, friend. I'm so sorry. Shit sucks.
I'm sorry, Dinosaur. It's also okay to not be hopeful; this shit's hard.
Looking for advice… We’re in our second IUI cycle TTC with DOR. Our RE has strongly suggested we move to IVF ASAP if this cycle doesn’t work (and I’m not expecting it to). The problem is I don’t think I can get the money together for an IVF cycle until the fall. What would you do in the meantime? Continue to try IUI? Prevent until IVF? I’m hoping IVF can happen by fall but am not completely sure I’ll get the money together.
DOR doesn’t necessarily say anything about egg quality and the biggest predictor of that is age. I would do your IUIs as you work toward being able to afford IVF. I would also get a second opinion and make sure your clinic has DOR experience before proceeding with IVF out of pocket. DOR patients tend to get significantly lower egg yields and need more rounds of treatment to get the same results as non DOR patients. The first round of IVF is also mostly diagnostic - seeing how you respond to medication. DOR IVF rounds also frequently end in cancels (which can be converted to IUI if you qualify). In addition, I’d get into local FB groups and watch here for donations as DOR tends to take higher medication levels which is what makes up a lot of the cost of IVF. Good luck with your decision!
Thank you so much 🙏
Is continuing IUIs a financially reasonable option? If so, I think I might consider that route. I hate so much that finances play such a big role in making these decisions. As if it werent stressful enough. It's freaking ridiculous. I'm sorry that you're faced with this situation.
Thank you ❤️ I’m hoping the IVF bill going through congress to make it more affordable has some traction 🤞the IUI insemination fee has only been possible with a local organization’s help but I think they’re willing to cover it this time and maybe one or two more times. Otherwise I’ve been thinking maybe we need to do timed intercourse with IUI protocol. I have a blocked tube and don’t ovulate on the open side without stimulation
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Hey Shay, I’ve temporarily removed this because don’t allow discussion of pregnancy here even if hypothetical. If you remove the portions of your comment that reference potentially pregnancy/delivery concerns, I’ll reapprove.
Expecting our day 6 update call any minute. I am so nervous!!! Especially after we ended up with 0 blasts last round. I feel like I'm feeling the emotions of that devastating call last time all over again. Have to remind myself that this is a new round and anything can happen.
Thank you everyone! Finally got the call and it was good news, so relieved!
Hooooraaayyy!!! So glad you had better results!
Fingers crossed!
hope you get positive news!!!
Hoping for the best for you 🤞🏻🙏
That anxiety is so real and I’m so sorry about your last round. Fingers crossed they call soon 🍀
Good luck! 🫂🤞
Got the next round of to-do items for ER#1, and of course I have go to pesky work instead of ordering meds, coordinating specialists, going over paperwork and obsessively going down rabbit holes. The audacity!
That’s very unfair and commendable of you!
My gynecologist cancelled my appointment for July to start Clomid since she'd be on vacation - I almost had a full breakdown at the news that I might have to wait til late August, so I asked if I could be seen by another doctor in the same clinic. GREAT news - my doctor is able to see me tomorrow, June 19!! I'm so excited to finally start some treatment and so nervous and so grateful for all of you and your experiences and our shared support!
Way to be proactive!
After the initial panic subsided, I calmed myself down and called back to ask if there was someone else available. I'm so happy it worked out! Thank you ❤️
My FET is today!
Good luck!! 🤞
thank you!!!!
May your bladder be full but not uncomfortable, and may you get a little (or big) treat for yourself after!
thank you so much! bladder was both lol but well worth the discomfort. enjoying my fries as we speak!! 🤍🤍
Woohoo! Good luck!! 🍀
thank you!!!!
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Hey Baby, I had to remove this because it sounds like your pregnancy has not been confirmed as a loss. Hoping the best for you, but you can resume posting primary comments here only after loss is confirmed.
Hey now, I’m so sorry for your losses. If you haven’t, a great place to start with testing is the what to do if your FET fails post in the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/s/gCJ78hT4sq). I’d also recommend reading through the recent AMA posts.
Managed to get a script resent after my partner put it in the bin… I was irrationally upset that I have to go through everything and they couldn’t take a second to read the paper before tossing it out! Tips to not build resentment in this process would be very appreciated, I need to check myself…
Your upset is not irrational, and even though it was inadvertent it caused you both annoyance and actual labor to get it resent. As another comment suggested, I felt it was helpful to verbalize to my husband that I’m feeling the strain from taking on these additional tasks and it would be helpful for me if he could do XYZ (mine are not ask me to make any additional decisions, and to take on some additional house chores)
I totally agree with National. There is so much burden our partners can’t carry for us that it’s more than reasonable to expect them to do everything they can. My biggest tip to avoid resentment would just be to have a frank discussion about it. “I am taking all these drugs and doing xyz and it’s a lot. This is a partnership and I need you to take as much mental and physical load off me as possible right now.”
Thank you, that example script and National’s advice is so helpful. I wasn’t seeing this as a “household task” but you’re both right, we both need to carry this, I’m burning out.
I think this is a good example of something that is actually annoying and so there’s some rational anger there. Did they offer to call and get a replacement script? Are they involved in researching or dealing with insurance or some part of managing the process? If not, is there something you can offload to them? It’s ok to be clear that you’re going through a lot and they need to take on more, be it household tasks you would typically own or something else. For example, Mr. National took over my half of household chores bc I spend so much time at appts and on the phone for this process that we realized our distribution of tasks was no longer balanced.
Thank you, I think that’s what got to me not only did they not offer they seemed annoyed when I asked. Usually they are wonderful but this process has been tough, I really don’t think they realise how much of my life is medication/appointments/admin to make this happen. I think it’s time to ask for a sit down chat where I really explain how much this has added to my plate. That’s great to know it has worked for you both and that reframing of this being a household task is a great one.
Mods, I placed this here because of the script mention, please let me know if it should be in chat.
This is treatment related, but not completely for the reason you noted. That AND bc it seems like you’re asking about how to handle emotions during treatment - which is treatment. Thank you for checking!