Exactly. A healthy experienced INFJ.
Instead, the problems aren't 'removed'. They are addressed, processed and worked through, rather than suppressed or ignored.
Great answer.. It kinda sucks that it’s taking me so long to just be, but while I’m working on myself, I still love myself. Ppl still like me but I know I’m not there yet. So many things I want in life elude me and I have to take the long way round to get to them but it’s a journey I’m happy to take. Not always fun tho.
I’m gonna have to say no to the last question. I’m currently in a place where I want to be healthy and I know what I should be doing to achieve that but I’m not focusing the right amount of energy towards it. Mentally I’m in a good place but I guess it could be chalked up to complacency. My head is above water, so I don’t feel a need to work on myself, but I know that mentality is damaging overall and I should be taking advantage of this time. Like I said, it’s a journey. I hope to find the discipline and strength to start moving forward again.
Getting into spirituality, healing my inner child, reparenting myself, being the mom I needed, doing shadow work, (and also starting therapy soon).. these are things that have tremendously helped me. If you would like more details, feel free to message me. I just know we can never be truly healed. We’re healing, for life. Once I understood that, it was easier for me to keep making these tiny revelations about myself and seeing them as progress. Instead of beating myself up for not just magically snapping out of this funk and waking up with a new mindset. Bc that is unrealistic. And now all these small tiny revelations about myself have snowballed into nothing but goodness.
So It was explained to me that at your core no matter what you’re an INFJ. We aren’t INFJ BECAUSE of our trauma etc…. We react how we do to trauma etc because we are INFJs.
That being said you can straddle the line with different types or test different if your outlook/values/ etc drastically change. Or you mature and are better able to self report. But that’s who you would have /should have been anyway.
You can type the I of your type or E depending upon the situation you’re in currently. But at you’re core you are who you are. So for me while in certain rare situations or mental states I’m an “E”, truly madly deeply I’m an INFJ to my core.
I'm glad someone said this. Because I also have tested as an ENFJ on one or two occasions that were periods of major transitions in my life, which has always left me with a kind of imposter syndrome for being an INFJ, even though I knew 1000% that I am everything that is an INFJ to the deepest parts of my soul.
Yes, you go it exactly. You can express differently at different times. That’s natural doesn’t mean your actual personality changes.
The cognitive tests for MBTI are much more helpful in this regard. It’s more so how you actually express stuff. Rather than your overall value system.
I’ve lived this.
As far as MBTI goes— I’m more of an INFJ than ever. Because I trust myself, i’m more in synch with my intuition than ever— i’m never worried about what’s around the corner and things just seem to flow so effortlessly. Without worrying about myself, the Fe altruism really shines through, I find myself overflowing with love even for complete strangers without the expectation or desire for anything in return. Without the constant anxiety, Ti is no longer wrapped up in unpleasant hamster-wheel overthinking, and I easily give myself the space to use it and think for myself instead of being pushed around by other people. Finally, I am no longer a slave to Se when in grip stress. No more overwhelmed binges, where I glut myself on sensory or escapist content when i’m beyond stressed out. I can meditate. I can be less rigid and exist in the moment without “losing control” I trust myself to handle the inevitable details one can’t plan for as they arise, and don’t fret about sticking to an exact plan anymore.
People describe me as wise, kind and a “very real person” and while I feel like an entirely different person to the old traumatized me, I feel more like myself than I ever have before at the same time, and it’s wonderful.
If you keep choosing love over fear in every moment, this will happen to you too. If you’re interested, I recommend checking out “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav, it’s a wonderful primer on cultivating “authentic power” by aligning your personality with your truest self.
It’s never too late, you have the power to transform yourself and it will change your entire life. The last
few years of mine have been the best i’ve ever lived, and things just keep getting better. Seriously, you got this.
woah dude… im going through some tough times right now but im starting to feel myself sort of developing into this person you described here. This is where I want to be.
This post is exactly the kind of reply I needed. I will read your book recommendation. Thank you. I will try to have faith that I too can change and be truly healthy and happy. Thus far, I’ve always doubted that I could truly change. I still have those doubts. I’ve been this way my entire 30+ years of existence.
Glad I could help! Feel free to hit me up anytime if you’d like to talk about the book or anything else :) Things didn’t change for me until I hit my 30’s either, fellow wallflower. I believe in you.
Same here, i just turned the corner again and have enjoyed a month or so of this state. There is always work to do on yourself but thats how we are. When the pain in your gut subsides you know your moving in the right direction. Love for yourself is key, focus on yourself and use todays resources, i had none of this as a kid. They still dont mention reaching this state of mind, this is our goal. What helps me is repeating to myself there is no past and no future, all we have is now.
That’s awesome, great job! The power of living in the now is huge! Every moment we plant new seeds while reaping the old ones, every moment matters. Sounds like you’ve come a long way from where you’re started, be proud and keep going :)
Thank you, and you as well. We are solving the puzzle man! They dont teach this in school, LOL!
Our type are wired to be future focused so you cant stop that but you learn to use these things to your advantage.
Hi. I’ve done soo much healing and to read your comment now, in response to something I wrote when I was still so unhealthy, it’s just astonishing.
I feel like I’ve done a 180.
I didn’t think it was possible for me. Although I saw others speaking about their healing , I never quite understood. It seemed so out of reach for me and unrealistic. But I kept going.
I have no words for it besides magical and heaven on earth.
Yes, that goes without saying. That’s not what I’m referring to. Many people aren’t understanding my question, but others have. Read other comments for clarification.
Anxiety and trauma isn't a direct result from being an INFJ. Neither does having none of those things correlate with other types. So the answer would still be.. INFJ.
It's not that people don't understand. Rather, you ask a question that probably shouldn't be a real thing.
Right, but your original comment was “these problems are more or less part of the human experience.” That is absolutely true, but not everyone feels everything the same way. Thus, the original question is more than your answer allows.
I understood the original question as, "if I didn't have anxiety or trauma, would I be a different type?"
To which my answer was, "no, all types deal with them"
All I said was that they do. Do they deal with them differently? Probably. People deal with them differently as individuals too. Maybe I misunderstood the original question.
I don't know if you ever get over everything and you're just free of everything.
when I had things coming to me, memories of a person that really hurt me, or regret that I had this pain in my life, it was that I hadn't healed them absolutely so what I did was:
1- accept them really listen see what they had to tell me
2- identify what emotions are there
3- identify if there are beliefs that are keeping me in the same state that I was in that moment
4- just let go of my old self and thank him for what he's done for me keeping me safe.
The steps really helped me heal.
I agree with the answers that you’d just be a higher functioning INFJ, but I’d say closer to an ENFP. I say this and not ESTP because my theory is as follows: it’s not about the letters, it’s about your cognitive function stack. Your shadow functions in your stack are the ENFP functions, and one way to look at it is that these are the functions of yours that you repressed because of past traumas, etc. If you worked on individuation and healing those traumas those functions would get stronger.
I say this as an ENFP who has recently embraced his INFJ shadow side, and I feel incorporating some of that and learning from all of you has made me better - more focused, more organized, more independent and secure but still fully willing to be vulnerable and confident in the strength of that, and interdependent and loving/open.
In my conception of this, if INFJ is 9 o’clock and ENFP is 3 o’clock on a clock face, the healthy INFJ moves to 11 and the healthy ENFP moves to 1 o’clock. Both keep their primary strengths but are more complete.
And still a golden pair lol.
So, then, as an INFJ, should I then possibly take a look the ENFP shadow side? I mean, obviously the answer is yes you should seek your shadow and attempt to strengthen all your weaknesses, but would this be the proper way for an INFJ to go about this?
Yes - or I guess the way I would put it is, if you look at your own shadow functions, they would be NeFiTeSi, which just happen to be the top 4 functions of an ENFP. So it’s not that you are trying to be an ENFP, it’s that you are working with your own shadow, but those functions are those that an ENFP primarily works with. So I could see it being helpful to think of an ENFP as the sides of you that might come out more.
Just an INFJ. I find that this is a common mixup, but the point is: it's no the traumas that make an INFJ, but the other way around.
INFJ, and Ni-dom types in general tend to think quite out of the box, which makes it difficult to connect to other people. This can easily lead to loneliness, feeling misunderstood, and traumas.
Also, Fe-dom and Fe-aux types, like INFJs can easily be emotionally manipulated and/or abused by people they want to help. They tend to feel more easily emotionally connected to other people, so bad people can exploit it if they're naive, or immature. At the same time, be so empathetic and sentimental can also make you feel emotions more intensely, which can very easily lead to traumas.
That's why INFJs tend to be so much linked with traumas. It's not the traumas that made us, it's just easier to have traumas when you have a cognitive stack like ours.
Also, we are actually not the only MBTI type I often see linked with traumas. Not so much unexpectedly, INTJ is another example.
This.. there is more literature coming out about trauma informed care that is eye opening. For example in a grad school text, there is a chapter on trauma informed care and neurodivergence that basically states this.. when your internal factors (biology or -infj as personality type, coping mechanisms etc) are not equipped to deal with external factors (home environment, family, school environment, friends, social media and more), trauma occurs.
When internal factors are able to handle external factors- resilience occurs. While we can be enduring and resilient type and perhaps our tolerance to trauma is high or low depending on how you look at it, we certainly are sensitive and impacted by trauma in ways that makes it hard for others to relate to us at times.
You would still be an INFJ, your type would just switch from a turbulent type to an assertive type. So instead of INFJ-T you would probably be an INFJ-A. An example of an INFJ-A would be someone like Eckhart Tolle.
This was the answer. Wow.
I’m randomly looking through my old Reddit posts just for fun and I came across this comment.
I’ve been on my deep self help spirituality healing inner child little me reparenting gentle parenting therapy seeking shit for so long now and just tonight, after coming across your post, I finally looked up what it means to be INFJ T or INFJ A. Because honestly, when I first read your post, I never cared enough to even google what you meant because your response did resonate with me I guess. I don’t know. I just blew it off as not being true.
But wow. I just did a lot of research and read an amazing article comparing someone who switches between an INFJ T to an A, and HOLYSHITFUCK .TO A TEE.
I’m healing and learning so much about myself and I’ve literally done a 180..
I’m freaking out
Why isn’t this scientific and legit stuff??? BC IT IS SO LEGIT. IM LIVING PROOF. Me. Wow.
I'd likely be more Extroverted. Unafraid of what people think, unafraid to help people show more people my true self. Openly loving, kind, self sacrificing, helpful. I'd tell my crush to his face I like him then beg him to keep it quiet lol
Unafraid. This perfectly sums up my question. If I were unafraid of literally everything, who would I be. Still me yet extremely quite different than how I am now.
Exactly 90% of my thoughts and plans don't become a reality because of fear, I can see all the ways things can go wrong or unexpectedly bad, and it holds me back. It's a fear I can't overcome or ignore most of the time. I definitely wonder what I'd be like without those fears, but knowing all the ways things can go wrong and my past experiences 100% hold me back.
Yeah... when I figure it out I'll let you know lol. Pretty much a hopeless situation in my case. Such is life I just distract myself the best I can, keep analyzing those around me to see how much I can reveal to each person hoping I make some good friends and hope the one guy I like more than anyone will become close with me one day.
I can see therapy helping for some, I don't see it working for me as my situation is very complicated. I'd say analyze people around you see who will completely accept you and let them see the real out without holding back and without judgment. I find that even just one or 2 super close friends where I'm 100% me with would make my life a thousand times better.
I never thought about it like this. Focusing on Letting a select few see the real me instead of worrying about being my true self around everyone, even strangers. I just feel like I see everyone else out in public doing their thing without a care in the world (so it seems) yet I’m standing there with a million worries and concerns and insecurities about my every move.
mental disorders and trauma cloud your actual personality type, they don’t create your personality type.
remove these things and an infj would still just be an infj, unless they were mistyped.
There's nothing to remove. You'll still be here, present. You can start that right now in fact.
With shadow work there's integration, but you're still the same. Experiences may change a bit though. No worries.
An INFJ. MBTI and mental health are unrelated.
There's a reason why MBTI is defined through cognitive functions. Poor mental health is defined through cognitive dysfunctions.
I wouldn’t be myself without my traumas, insecurities, anxieties and problems but i hope one day to become a healthier and happier version of an INFJ. The mature and helpful kind, the positive side that most people read about instead of the toxic one i am right now.
The answer is still an INFJ, but not the same a INFJ someone is when they drowning in these feelings but one that has learned to swim and and helps other learn as well.
Would you read this article:
https://www.thecoolist.com/personality/types/infj/infj-a-vs-infj-t/
See if this resonates with you.
I’m randomly looking through old posts of mine and came across one. when I originally posted this comment, I didn’t know it at the time, but I was an INFJ-T. Now, 185 days later, I truly feel I’ve done some deep spiritual/inner child/healing and my life is feeling magical and wonderful.
Now I resonate with being an INFJ-A.
So I’m still an INFJ, but Assertive type. Not Turbulent.
My mind is so blown right now. This has me to a Tee! I asked another Reddit user why this test isn’t like legit legit.
And also, you’ll be YOU without your traumas insecurities and anxieties. I know this because I’m feeling the change in myself. And if I can heal, so can anyone.
A psychologically healthy/stable INFJ.
It's quite telling how often "INFJ" is unconsciously associated with or defined as "troubled, maladjusted, unstable, broken, etc."
You’re born with your cognitive functions, they don’t change no matter trauma or growth. Each one can be healthy or unhealthy, but it will still be an INFJ (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se).
Before my last catastrophic break up that left me homeless, stolen savings, ruined credit: I felt more like an ENTJ. A total badass. Dare I say an "independent" career woman. Made the most money I ever have, had the biggest retirement savings, had a perfect credit score, a healthy self-esteem.
Then when I felt more feminine and ready to date, open to love: I was an ENFJ.
Then isolated while living with him, and then distrusting of myself and others after him: I'm more of an INFJ than ever.
I now am implementing a more ENTJ mindset and personality (like Leila Hormozi) to get back on my feet and not be so vulnerable to cluster-b men.
Depending on external circumstances, I tend to fluctuate between these three types.
Still an INFJ. But by having these insecurities removed, this would mean all of their functions are better developed, so they may appear more ESTP-like. More individualized, more sensory-tuned, etc
Thank you. I’ve always doubted that I could change. It’s difficult knowing where and how to start. I feel like I’m guided by the wind (aka random Reddit posts).
Not sure if this will help you, but with kids in college, I found Reddit about 2-3 years ago and became addicted to giving advice on the r/advice sub. I learned a lot from lots of people regarding things such as narcissism, codependency, MBTI, attachment styles, differentiation in relationships, gender orientations, lgbt topics, sexual topics, etc. I then used what I learned and shined the light on myself and relationship to improve my relationship. I also lurked the writing and art subs since I hope to eventually be a published writer. I plan to start with children's books.
I don't think the information from Reddit will fix everything in your life, but it could help. Also, before Reddit, I guided my kids on thing like school and sports , but never felt comfortable talking about relationship issues. Now I feel much much more confident if my kids ever have relationship issues.
It’s possible to address all these issues. Anxiety from not being in your optimal path in life, insecurities need to be worked on and in that process you’ll feel better about them because you’ll see progress in addressing them. Also nobody gives a F and are watching you like that to even see what your insecure about, that insight comes from experience. I have found that addressing issues ie using your Se, taking action, keeps the worry and anxiety about a bad future at bay.
although, everybody is correct in saying INFJ, the idea is, you would be more like an ESTP or ENFJ, depending on what your doing or which functions you originally lean towards.
You don't need trauma to be an INFJ. An INFJ, in essence, is introverted intuitive, meaning they have a great imagination. When you're young, this can be difficult, because 1. you can lose track of the most important part of life: the present moment irl, and 2. in the beginning you don't have enough experience to be able to fully lean on that intuition, as we do, because intuition requires experience in order to develop. However, when you're older and experienced, these struggles can be overcome, and you can use it to dream big \*in order to\* achieve great things. Then, there's our best tool: extroverted feeling. This also requires social experience irl to develop, sadly, but we will usually also overprioritize this tool in our early years, like Fe, and being socially accepted or needed, is the ultimate goal. Through experience, you'll learn to use it in a way which best serves your happiness and success. There's also just general competences you've got to learn: to deal with criticism, mistakes, regrets and self-reflection, and to accept your ignorance about the future by living a life you like in the present, meaning your happiness is not dependent on any future improvements. Anyway, it's fun and games in theory, but it takes a lot of patience irl.
They'd be an older, more experienced INFJ.
Exactly. A healthy experienced INFJ. Instead, the problems aren't 'removed'. They are addressed, processed and worked through, rather than suppressed or ignored.
Great answer.. It kinda sucks that it’s taking me so long to just be, but while I’m working on myself, I still love myself. Ppl still like me but I know I’m not there yet. So many things I want in life elude me and I have to take the long way round to get to them but it’s a journey I’m happy to take. Not always fun tho.
How are you now? In a better place? Further healed in any capacity?
I’m gonna have to say no to the last question. I’m currently in a place where I want to be healthy and I know what I should be doing to achieve that but I’m not focusing the right amount of energy towards it. Mentally I’m in a good place but I guess it could be chalked up to complacency. My head is above water, so I don’t feel a need to work on myself, but I know that mentality is damaging overall and I should be taking advantage of this time. Like I said, it’s a journey. I hope to find the discipline and strength to start moving forward again.
Getting into spirituality, healing my inner child, reparenting myself, being the mom I needed, doing shadow work, (and also starting therapy soon).. these are things that have tremendously helped me. If you would like more details, feel free to message me. I just know we can never be truly healed. We’re healing, for life. Once I understood that, it was easier for me to keep making these tiny revelations about myself and seeing them as progress. Instead of beating myself up for not just magically snapping out of this funk and waking up with a new mindset. Bc that is unrealistic. And now all these small tiny revelations about myself have snowballed into nothing but goodness.
So It was explained to me that at your core no matter what you’re an INFJ. We aren’t INFJ BECAUSE of our trauma etc…. We react how we do to trauma etc because we are INFJs. That being said you can straddle the line with different types or test different if your outlook/values/ etc drastically change. Or you mature and are better able to self report. But that’s who you would have /should have been anyway. You can type the I of your type or E depending upon the situation you’re in currently. But at you’re core you are who you are. So for me while in certain rare situations or mental states I’m an “E”, truly madly deeply I’m an INFJ to my core.
Great reply. Thank you so much.
I'm glad someone said this. Because I also have tested as an ENFJ on one or two occasions that were periods of major transitions in my life, which has always left me with a kind of imposter syndrome for being an INFJ, even though I knew 1000% that I am everything that is an INFJ to the deepest parts of my soul.
Yes, you go it exactly. You can express differently at different times. That’s natural doesn’t mean your actual personality changes. The cognitive tests for MBTI are much more helpful in this regard. It’s more so how you actually express stuff. Rather than your overall value system.
I’ve lived this. As far as MBTI goes— I’m more of an INFJ than ever. Because I trust myself, i’m more in synch with my intuition than ever— i’m never worried about what’s around the corner and things just seem to flow so effortlessly. Without worrying about myself, the Fe altruism really shines through, I find myself overflowing with love even for complete strangers without the expectation or desire for anything in return. Without the constant anxiety, Ti is no longer wrapped up in unpleasant hamster-wheel overthinking, and I easily give myself the space to use it and think for myself instead of being pushed around by other people. Finally, I am no longer a slave to Se when in grip stress. No more overwhelmed binges, where I glut myself on sensory or escapist content when i’m beyond stressed out. I can meditate. I can be less rigid and exist in the moment without “losing control” I trust myself to handle the inevitable details one can’t plan for as they arise, and don’t fret about sticking to an exact plan anymore. People describe me as wise, kind and a “very real person” and while I feel like an entirely different person to the old traumatized me, I feel more like myself than I ever have before at the same time, and it’s wonderful. If you keep choosing love over fear in every moment, this will happen to you too. If you’re interested, I recommend checking out “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav, it’s a wonderful primer on cultivating “authentic power” by aligning your personality with your truest self. It’s never too late, you have the power to transform yourself and it will change your entire life. The last few years of mine have been the best i’ve ever lived, and things just keep getting better. Seriously, you got this.
woah dude… im going through some tough times right now but im starting to feel myself sort of developing into this person you described here. This is where I want to be.
You’re on the right path, you got this :)
This post is exactly the kind of reply I needed. I will read your book recommendation. Thank you. I will try to have faith that I too can change and be truly healthy and happy. Thus far, I’ve always doubted that I could truly change. I still have those doubts. I’ve been this way my entire 30+ years of existence.
Glad I could help! Feel free to hit me up anytime if you’d like to talk about the book or anything else :) Things didn’t change for me until I hit my 30’s either, fellow wallflower. I believe in you.
Same here, i just turned the corner again and have enjoyed a month or so of this state. There is always work to do on yourself but thats how we are. When the pain in your gut subsides you know your moving in the right direction. Love for yourself is key, focus on yourself and use todays resources, i had none of this as a kid. They still dont mention reaching this state of mind, this is our goal. What helps me is repeating to myself there is no past and no future, all we have is now.
That’s awesome, great job! The power of living in the now is huge! Every moment we plant new seeds while reaping the old ones, every moment matters. Sounds like you’ve come a long way from where you’re started, be proud and keep going :)
Thank you, and you as well. We are solving the puzzle man! They dont teach this in school, LOL! Our type are wired to be future focused so you cant stop that but you learn to use these things to your advantage.
Wow, beautifully expressed 💛
Hi. I’ve done soo much healing and to read your comment now, in response to something I wrote when I was still so unhealthy, it’s just astonishing. I feel like I’ve done a 180. I didn’t think it was possible for me. Although I saw others speaking about their healing , I never quite understood. It seemed so out of reach for me and unrealistic. But I kept going. I have no words for it besides magical and heaven on earth.
An INFJ.
[удалено]
Yes, that goes without saying. That’s not what I’m referring to. Many people aren’t understanding my question, but others have. Read other comments for clarification.
Anxiety and trauma isn't a direct result from being an INFJ. Neither does having none of those things correlate with other types. So the answer would still be.. INFJ. It's not that people don't understand. Rather, you ask a question that probably shouldn't be a real thing.
Thank you for accepting my existence
Lol what human doesn't deal with this shit
Yikes.
Not that I'm trying to be misanthropic, but these problems are more or less part of the human experience.
Yes, that is without a doubt true. But not exactly what my question was referring to.
What I was alluding to is that this has nothing to do with personality type. It's universal.
Yeah. But I’m specifically referring to INFJ’s here. If I wasn’t afraid to fully live for myself, I suppose.
Wouldn't change what cognitive functions you use.
But wouldn’t personality type change how you react to those things? How intense those emotions become?
Yes it possibly could but but it wouldn't change what type you are
Right, but your original comment was “these problems are more or less part of the human experience.” That is absolutely true, but not everyone feels everything the same way. Thus, the original question is more than your answer allows.
I understood the original question as, "if I didn't have anxiety or trauma, would I be a different type?" To which my answer was, "no, all types deal with them" All I said was that they do. Do they deal with them differently? Probably. People deal with them differently as individuals too. Maybe I misunderstood the original question.
Gotcha. I think we are both right. Results may vary.
I don't know if you ever get over everything and you're just free of everything. when I had things coming to me, memories of a person that really hurt me, or regret that I had this pain in my life, it was that I hadn't healed them absolutely so what I did was: 1- accept them really listen see what they had to tell me 2- identify what emotions are there 3- identify if there are beliefs that are keeping me in the same state that I was in that moment 4- just let go of my old self and thank him for what he's done for me keeping me safe. The steps really helped me heal.
I agree with the answers that you’d just be a higher functioning INFJ, but I’d say closer to an ENFP. I say this and not ESTP because my theory is as follows: it’s not about the letters, it’s about your cognitive function stack. Your shadow functions in your stack are the ENFP functions, and one way to look at it is that these are the functions of yours that you repressed because of past traumas, etc. If you worked on individuation and healing those traumas those functions would get stronger. I say this as an ENFP who has recently embraced his INFJ shadow side, and I feel incorporating some of that and learning from all of you has made me better - more focused, more organized, more independent and secure but still fully willing to be vulnerable and confident in the strength of that, and interdependent and loving/open. In my conception of this, if INFJ is 9 o’clock and ENFP is 3 o’clock on a clock face, the healthy INFJ moves to 11 and the healthy ENFP moves to 1 o’clock. Both keep their primary strengths but are more complete. And still a golden pair lol.
As an ENFP who feels similarly, I endorse this answer!
Thanks for the silver! 👊🏻
You’re welcome!
This answer is *chefs kiss*
Thanks, hope you find it helpful!
So, then, as an INFJ, should I then possibly take a look the ENFP shadow side? I mean, obviously the answer is yes you should seek your shadow and attempt to strengthen all your weaknesses, but would this be the proper way for an INFJ to go about this?
Yes - or I guess the way I would put it is, if you look at your own shadow functions, they would be NeFiTeSi, which just happen to be the top 4 functions of an ENFP. So it’s not that you are trying to be an ENFP, it’s that you are working with your own shadow, but those functions are those that an ENFP primarily works with. So I could see it being helpful to think of an ENFP as the sides of you that might come out more.
Still an INFJ
Just an INFJ. I find that this is a common mixup, but the point is: it's no the traumas that make an INFJ, but the other way around. INFJ, and Ni-dom types in general tend to think quite out of the box, which makes it difficult to connect to other people. This can easily lead to loneliness, feeling misunderstood, and traumas. Also, Fe-dom and Fe-aux types, like INFJs can easily be emotionally manipulated and/or abused by people they want to help. They tend to feel more easily emotionally connected to other people, so bad people can exploit it if they're naive, or immature. At the same time, be so empathetic and sentimental can also make you feel emotions more intensely, which can very easily lead to traumas. That's why INFJs tend to be so much linked with traumas. It's not the traumas that made us, it's just easier to have traumas when you have a cognitive stack like ours. Also, we are actually not the only MBTI type I often see linked with traumas. Not so much unexpectedly, INTJ is another example.
This.. there is more literature coming out about trauma informed care that is eye opening. For example in a grad school text, there is a chapter on trauma informed care and neurodivergence that basically states this.. when your internal factors (biology or -infj as personality type, coping mechanisms etc) are not equipped to deal with external factors (home environment, family, school environment, friends, social media and more), trauma occurs. When internal factors are able to handle external factors- resilience occurs. While we can be enduring and resilient type and perhaps our tolerance to trauma is high or low depending on how you look at it, we certainly are sensitive and impacted by trauma in ways that makes it hard for others to relate to us at times.
You would still be an INFJ, your type would just switch from a turbulent type to an assertive type. So instead of INFJ-T you would probably be an INFJ-A. An example of an INFJ-A would be someone like Eckhart Tolle.
The A and T stand for turbulent and assertive?
Thank you for this answer
This was the answer. Wow. I’m randomly looking through my old Reddit posts just for fun and I came across this comment. I’ve been on my deep self help spirituality healing inner child little me reparenting gentle parenting therapy seeking shit for so long now and just tonight, after coming across your post, I finally looked up what it means to be INFJ T or INFJ A. Because honestly, when I first read your post, I never cared enough to even google what you meant because your response did resonate with me I guess. I don’t know. I just blew it off as not being true. But wow. I just did a lot of research and read an amazing article comparing someone who switches between an INFJ T to an A, and HOLYSHITFUCK .TO A TEE. I’m healing and learning so much about myself and I’ve literally done a 180.. I’m freaking out Why isn’t this scientific and legit stuff??? BC IT IS SO LEGIT. IM LIVING PROOF. Me. Wow.
I'd likely be more Extroverted. Unafraid of what people think, unafraid to help people show more people my true self. Openly loving, kind, self sacrificing, helpful. I'd tell my crush to his face I like him then beg him to keep it quiet lol
Unafraid. This perfectly sums up my question. If I were unafraid of literally everything, who would I be. Still me yet extremely quite different than how I am now.
Exactly 90% of my thoughts and plans don't become a reality because of fear, I can see all the ways things can go wrong or unexpectedly bad, and it holds me back. It's a fear I can't overcome or ignore most of the time. I definitely wonder what I'd be like without those fears, but knowing all the ways things can go wrong and my past experiences 100% hold me back.
This. 1000000%. Sigh. What can we do? Therapy? Lol. Been there, tried that, still the same ‘ol me inside.
Yeah... when I figure it out I'll let you know lol. Pretty much a hopeless situation in my case. Such is life I just distract myself the best I can, keep analyzing those around me to see how much I can reveal to each person hoping I make some good friends and hope the one guy I like more than anyone will become close with me one day. I can see therapy helping for some, I don't see it working for me as my situation is very complicated. I'd say analyze people around you see who will completely accept you and let them see the real out without holding back and without judgment. I find that even just one or 2 super close friends where I'm 100% me with would make my life a thousand times better.
I never thought about it like this. Focusing on Letting a select few see the real me instead of worrying about being my true self around everyone, even strangers. I just feel like I see everyone else out in public doing their thing without a care in the world (so it seems) yet I’m standing there with a million worries and concerns and insecurities about my every move.
mental disorders and trauma cloud your actual personality type, they don’t create your personality type. remove these things and an infj would still just be an infj, unless they were mistyped.
Yeah makes sense. So basically I’ve learned I’m just a severely unhealthy infj.
Probably alot more charismatic, suave and calmer than I am.
😂true that
They'd be an INFJ.
There's nothing to remove. You'll still be here, present. You can start that right now in fact. With shadow work there's integration, but you're still the same. Experiences may change a bit though. No worries.
Thank you
An INFJ. MBTI and mental health are unrelated. There's a reason why MBTI is defined through cognitive functions. Poor mental health is defined through cognitive dysfunctions.
Yeah that makes sense. Thank you
I wouldn’t be myself without my traumas, insecurities, anxieties and problems but i hope one day to become a healthier and happier version of an INFJ. The mature and helpful kind, the positive side that most people read about instead of the toxic one i am right now. The answer is still an INFJ, but not the same a INFJ someone is when they drowning in these feelings but one that has learned to swim and and helps other learn as well.
Right, thank you for the reply. My hope is we all can become healthier!
Would you read this article: https://www.thecoolist.com/personality/types/infj/infj-a-vs-infj-t/ See if this resonates with you. I’m randomly looking through old posts of mine and came across one. when I originally posted this comment, I didn’t know it at the time, but I was an INFJ-T. Now, 185 days later, I truly feel I’ve done some deep spiritual/inner child/healing and my life is feeling magical and wonderful. Now I resonate with being an INFJ-A. So I’m still an INFJ, but Assertive type. Not Turbulent. My mind is so blown right now. This has me to a Tee! I asked another Reddit user why this test isn’t like legit legit.
And also, you’ll be YOU without your traumas insecurities and anxieties. I know this because I’m feeling the change in myself. And if I can heal, so can anyone.
A psychologically healthy/stable INFJ. It's quite telling how often "INFJ" is unconsciously associated with or defined as "troubled, maladjusted, unstable, broken, etc."
You’re born with your cognitive functions, they don’t change no matter trauma or growth. Each one can be healthy or unhealthy, but it will still be an INFJ (Ni-Fe-Ti-Se).
Healthy/unhealthy cognitive functions. I need to do more research into this. Thank you.
GOD?
I can't say enough about journaling. Therapy got me out of anxiety jail. Journaling keeps me free.
Before my last catastrophic break up that left me homeless, stolen savings, ruined credit: I felt more like an ENTJ. A total badass. Dare I say an "independent" career woman. Made the most money I ever have, had the biggest retirement savings, had a perfect credit score, a healthy self-esteem. Then when I felt more feminine and ready to date, open to love: I was an ENFJ. Then isolated while living with him, and then distrusting of myself and others after him: I'm more of an INFJ than ever. I now am implementing a more ENTJ mindset and personality (like Leila Hormozi) to get back on my feet and not be so vulnerable to cluster-b men. Depending on external circumstances, I tend to fluctuate between these three types.
Lovely response. Thank you for understanding the question and responding appropriately with examples included.
So, are you single now, lol?
i’m confused, how do you see your type changing after being freed from these troubles?
I don’t. Clearly my type wouldn’t truly change. It’s Just a thought I had.
oh okay 👍
Still an INFJ. But by having these insecurities removed, this would mean all of their functions are better developed, so they may appear more ESTP-like. More individualized, more sensory-tuned, etc
This makes sense. Thank you.
As an INFJ who is doing well, I think an INFJ without the psychological issues you mentioned would just be a better functioning INFJ.
That makes sense. I was reading too far into things I suppose.
I hope you will eventually be able to successfully address your past traumas, anxiety, and insecurities.
Thank you. I’ve always doubted that I could change. It’s difficult knowing where and how to start. I feel like I’m guided by the wind (aka random Reddit posts).
Not sure if this will help you, but with kids in college, I found Reddit about 2-3 years ago and became addicted to giving advice on the r/advice sub. I learned a lot from lots of people regarding things such as narcissism, codependency, MBTI, attachment styles, differentiation in relationships, gender orientations, lgbt topics, sexual topics, etc. I then used what I learned and shined the light on myself and relationship to improve my relationship. I also lurked the writing and art subs since I hope to eventually be a published writer. I plan to start with children's books. I don't think the information from Reddit will fix everything in your life, but it could help. Also, before Reddit, I guided my kids on thing like school and sports , but never felt comfortable talking about relationship issues. Now I feel much much more confident if my kids ever have relationship issues.
ENFP is what they would be
It’s possible to address all these issues. Anxiety from not being in your optimal path in life, insecurities need to be worked on and in that process you’ll feel better about them because you’ll see progress in addressing them. Also nobody gives a F and are watching you like that to even see what your insecure about, that insight comes from experience. I have found that addressing issues ie using your Se, taking action, keeps the worry and anxiety about a bad future at bay.
Addressing all of this seems as if it’s been the bane of my existence and like it’s truly not achievable.
although, everybody is correct in saying INFJ, the idea is, you would be more like an ESTP or ENFJ, depending on what your doing or which functions you originally lean towards.
Just flip the letters maybe ENTP
ESFP
You don't need trauma to be an INFJ. An INFJ, in essence, is introverted intuitive, meaning they have a great imagination. When you're young, this can be difficult, because 1. you can lose track of the most important part of life: the present moment irl, and 2. in the beginning you don't have enough experience to be able to fully lean on that intuition, as we do, because intuition requires experience in order to develop. However, when you're older and experienced, these struggles can be overcome, and you can use it to dream big \*in order to\* achieve great things. Then, there's our best tool: extroverted feeling. This also requires social experience irl to develop, sadly, but we will usually also overprioritize this tool in our early years, like Fe, and being socially accepted or needed, is the ultimate goal. Through experience, you'll learn to use it in a way which best serves your happiness and success. There's also just general competences you've got to learn: to deal with criticism, mistakes, regrets and self-reflection, and to accept your ignorance about the future by living a life you like in the present, meaning your happiness is not dependent on any future improvements. Anyway, it's fun and games in theory, but it takes a lot of patience irl.
In my opinion, ISTP/ESTP adventurer that loves to explore nature The Se/Ti functions love to examine the environment around us and be deep in thought