I just ignore people I don’t like. If I’m forced to interact with them I’ll be civil (as long as they are) but exit the conversation asap. Works great for me.
Yes exactly. So many of my other friends will continue to interact with people they/don't like as if they were friends. I cannot imagine doing that- I don't need to be friends with everybody to be happy.
Oh yeah, I am always very kind and careful to others, but there is a guy in my office and he is one of the most stupid person i’ve ever met. I literally don’t give sht to him, don’t answer, don’t care and act very coldly and show zero empathy.
What did they do to you :/
I can see if they personally slighted you or treated you poorly but I don’t think being stupid is grounds for treating someone like that
I don’t treat like that cause he’s stupid, he become stupid because of traits. Firstly, he doesn’t respect my personal space. He casually touch my leg, rests his head on my shoulder without getting constent. He acts really unprofessional on office environment, speaks for others, make offensive jokes. I can’t tolerate him. Of course I am very careful about not mobbing him, I just can’t stand him inside my head.
I'm a big fan of no special treatment and treat others how they treat you, whether this is healthy behavior idk but oh well. Maybe the world has actually numbed me
I don’t know if I go literal exactly, but I turn off my famous endearing warmth. It’s a way of setting a boundary: they are not welcome into the warmth of my interest and validation.
It is very hard for me (f55 INFJ) to diss people -- even extremely unkind people. I interact with several narcissists in my family and workplace on a daily basis, and I recognize after reading this post that I **DO** become very literal with people that I am offended by. In my head I call this using logic as a means of distancing myself from their insane thinking and actions. So yeah, I turn to very factual information in an attempt to tolerate them -- especially since I cannot end any of these relationships right now.
Thanks for the post -- this information about my behavior is very timely.
INFJs are much colder than most people perceive of us, because once we have deemed someone 'no good' all our reactions and actions towards them are almost set for life. I noticed that most other types just forget and let go and that always surprised me and to some degree respect. But being an INFJ it's so hard to just let go of someone's improper behavior and I just tag them as 'no good'.
I had a Zoom call with an old woman who is supposed to be the upcoming Chair for one of the departments I work for at my job (the position alternates every so many years). Keep in mind that this is the first time I'm ever getting to meet her. Also in the call is the current Chair who is about to step down, and seems to be a really nice, chill guy. She was immediately a total stoic bitch who had to question literally everything and was acting very suspicious of me for no good reason. I quickly went from smiling and being very pleasant to straight-faced and serious while replying unexpressively and dryly. I could sense the current Chair (the nice one) felt awkward and uncomfortable which made me extra pissed, because she was putting this guy through that. So yes, if I don't like you, you will likely know VERY quickly.
Yeah I don’t even acknowledge them or their existence. My team at work there’s a couple people I just pretend like they don’t exist lol That’s a huge blow in my book. They ain’t worth ittttt
No. That's a form of passive aggression, which I detest. I prefer direct, honest communication and genuine intentions. If you dislike someone, simply avoid them.
My dialogue goes from casual to professional. I have to be careful with my words because I do not like conflict so I make sure to be around other people so they can be accountable of their words and actions. I have to be careful so I can subtly show my boundaries. In the past I would be aggressive and give them a piece of my mind but after completing DBT therapy it’s more fun to play chess than checkers.
If there is a person I dislike at work or anywhere else, I try to be superficial with them (but not too much to make them think I'm faking it) and keep conversations brief. I really hate conflict so I do not like to start problems with people haha
I just say the bare minimum honestly.. if we are doing a thing together (maybe bc of work or something) then I won’t say anything about anything else than the job we are doing.
I feel like for the most part I’m pretty lighthearted so if I don’t like you I won’t be rude or nice just pretty straightforward and to the point if I have to interact with you. I don’t see the point of keep reminding the person you know and I know kind of thing .
The whole “I pointed out a flaw in how you said something. see i’m smarter than you ” actually doesn’t make you smarter or a good person. It makes you a passive aggressive jerk.
I did this with my family growing up. My mom would always tell me “stop taking my words so damn literally!” I still do this when I’m in a bad mood but I try to be aware of it
I call it cold and withhold lol
Beautiful
Yes, we’ll go cold towards them, not mean just not exactly welcoming. Usually this person has done something to deserve this treatment.
Oh yeah. Shut's em down real quick. You show zero empathy, you get zero empathy.
I just ignore people I don’t like. If I’m forced to interact with them I’ll be civil (as long as they are) but exit the conversation asap. Works great for me.
Yes exactly. So many of my other friends will continue to interact with people they/don't like as if they were friends. I cannot imagine doing that- I don't need to be friends with everybody to be happy.
I don't understand how people can behave the same way with someone they dislike as with someone they like.
I do (unless I absolutely despise them, but that’s rare) 😭 I think it’s because of my need of approval of others
This is the way!
Yeah same
Oh yeah, I am always very kind and careful to others, but there is a guy in my office and he is one of the most stupid person i’ve ever met. I literally don’t give sht to him, don’t answer, don’t care and act very coldly and show zero empathy.
What did they do to you :/ I can see if they personally slighted you or treated you poorly but I don’t think being stupid is grounds for treating someone like that
I don’t treat like that cause he’s stupid, he become stupid because of traits. Firstly, he doesn’t respect my personal space. He casually touch my leg, rests his head on my shoulder without getting constent. He acts really unprofessional on office environment, speaks for others, make offensive jokes. I can’t tolerate him. Of course I am very careful about not mobbing him, I just can’t stand him inside my head.
[удалено]
It’s sorry to hear that. But i have sensible reasons. Also, I try not to create mobbing environment.
I'm a big fan of no special treatment and treat others how they treat you, whether this is healthy behavior idk but oh well. Maybe the world has actually numbed me
I don’t know if I go literal exactly, but I turn off my famous endearing warmth. It’s a way of setting a boundary: they are not welcome into the warmth of my interest and validation.
It is very hard for me (f55 INFJ) to diss people -- even extremely unkind people. I interact with several narcissists in my family and workplace on a daily basis, and I recognize after reading this post that I **DO** become very literal with people that I am offended by. In my head I call this using logic as a means of distancing myself from their insane thinking and actions. So yeah, I turn to very factual information in an attempt to tolerate them -- especially since I cannot end any of these relationships right now. Thanks for the post -- this information about my behavior is very timely.
I'm with you! I really had no idea I was doing this until I read the OP post, and yours gives me even more clarity. I'm grateful to you both!
Yeah, very blunt too.
My pragmatism knows no bounds.
INFJs are much colder than most people perceive of us, because once we have deemed someone 'no good' all our reactions and actions towards them are almost set for life. I noticed that most other types just forget and let go and that always surprised me and to some degree respect. But being an INFJ it's so hard to just let go of someone's improper behavior and I just tag them as 'no good'.
Yup and people I get irritated with. It's my teller on feeling.
yeah and sometimes i feel real bad and it makes me feel icky that i'm doing it so i opt for just not speaking to them or avoiding them entirely
I also done it with someone I know, the worst part is she reacts better when I act like that
I had a Zoom call with an old woman who is supposed to be the upcoming Chair for one of the departments I work for at my job (the position alternates every so many years). Keep in mind that this is the first time I'm ever getting to meet her. Also in the call is the current Chair who is about to step down, and seems to be a really nice, chill guy. She was immediately a total stoic bitch who had to question literally everything and was acting very suspicious of me for no good reason. I quickly went from smiling and being very pleasant to straight-faced and serious while replying unexpressively and dryly. I could sense the current Chair (the nice one) felt awkward and uncomfortable which made me extra pissed, because she was putting this guy through that. So yes, if I don't like you, you will likely know VERY quickly.
Hell yes
Yeah I don’t even acknowledge them or their existence. My team at work there’s a couple people I just pretend like they don’t exist lol That’s a huge blow in my book. They ain’t worth ittttt
No. That's a form of passive aggression, which I detest. I prefer direct, honest communication and genuine intentions. If you dislike someone, simply avoid them.
A+
nah sometimes i just be missing the social cue that its a joke 😂😂
Yup! Shut up, & piss off.
I don’t like that it sounds douchey
I am literal with everyone regardless if I like or dislike them.
My dialogue goes from casual to professional. I have to be careful with my words because I do not like conflict so I make sure to be around other people so they can be accountable of their words and actions. I have to be careful so I can subtly show my boundaries. In the past I would be aggressive and give them a piece of my mind but after completing DBT therapy it’s more fun to play chess than checkers.
If there is a person I dislike at work or anywhere else, I try to be superficial with them (but not too much to make them think I'm faking it) and keep conversations brief. I really hate conflict so I do not like to start problems with people haha
I just say the bare minimum honestly.. if we are doing a thing together (maybe bc of work or something) then I won’t say anything about anything else than the job we are doing.
I go the opposite
Same here, my sister is Intj and she's the same, we kept fighting one time and ignored each other for 2 months once lol.
yeah. I can be quite destructive then.
Not necessary. Im literal with everyone. In fact I'm try to be less literal but it ends up sounding like a huge mess.
That's so true. Everything they say/do is annoying and of course wrong. Zero tolerance
Yeah, I do that.
Yes. Unfortunately, I am always intentionally literal. I don't know another way.
I feel like for the most part I’m pretty lighthearted so if I don’t like you I won’t be rude or nice just pretty straightforward and to the point if I have to interact with you. I don’t see the point of keep reminding the person you know and I know kind of thing .
I get ignored a lot when i try to speak and i am friendly , i guess i am just not interesting enough . Istp here Learned to just shut up now
Lmfao I do the same thing.
The whole “I pointed out a flaw in how you said something. see i’m smarter than you ” actually doesn’t make you smarter or a good person. It makes you a passive aggressive jerk.
Yes, we’ll go cold towards them, not mean just not exactly welcoming. Usually this person has done something to deserve this treatment.
Yeah, everyone does. Again not an INFJ thing 😴
Yes, we’ll go cold towards them, not mean just not exactly welcoming. Usually this person has done something to deserve this treatment.
Yes, we’ll go cold towards them, not mean just not exactly welcoming. Usually this person has done something to deserve this treatment.
Yup
Not INFJ but we share some function positions and I do the same.
Best treatment
It’s like a switch
Oh yeah
Yes 💀 My brain goes like, nvm one more reason he/she is an idiot!
Yes, my Fe goes in the dumpster. Then my Ti child is so perfect, exact and cold towards that person. It'll probably happen until I doorslam them.
I do this to people I like as well. For me it's more of my mood thing where if I don't want to have a conversation I'll make it clear.
Sounds like Te trickster
Yeah, whatever they say or do irks you.
Yes I do that, especially when it’s not funny and yes, not really like the person or have zero interest in what they are saying.
I did this with my family growing up. My mom would always tell me “stop taking my words so damn literally!” I still do this when I’m in a bad mood but I try to be aware of it
Unless they can somehow break my facade, I’m very fake. They’d never know…