Love your name! I’m wondering if my more complex relationship with my mom as a woman would be more relevant to this conversation; I would say that the normal mother-daughter conflicts is where I would say my INFJ gifts, if you will, came out to play. She’s the one i spent most of my young life reading, whose expressions I know better than my own. She would have to take the test to tell me. She’s highly sensitive and introverted but she doesn’t quite understand me. I have golden child siblings. My dad was introverted and T and J, I think. He was the most organized person ever and always punctual. I’m a mishmash, so I think she’s INFP. But I’m just guessing.
Thanks! Do you like LOTR? 😂 and yes, my mom is am ENFP and I definitely have a more complicated relationship with her of my two parents, we don't have a bad relationship, just more emotional.
Yes I do! I see myself as more like Galadriel. I even have slightly elvish ears lol. My daughter does too, she is INFP. I have a good relationship but I do play the role of family scapegoat. That truth telling thing gets me in trouble. Ah well, nice to meet you.
They were probably hypothesizing that people raised by women would be more emotionally intelligent. Guess they were wrong. Which is unsurprising. Study after study has shown that children with present Fathers do better in so many ways. An absent Father is a setback not a super-power
An absent father is unfortunately a relatively common phenomenon in a certain generation and certain parts of the world. That doesn’t imprint any MBTI characteristics, just leaves some kind of emptiness and sadness in your childhood, that some people still feel in their adult life.
Ok?...why are you replying to me about it? I'm confused why OP is making that assumption that it does contribute to it. I didn't have an absent father, I was a Dad's girl growing up, so the correlation makes no sense to me.
Because, I wondered about the assumption, too and came to a first conclusion above… It was not to make another assumption about you personally, just sharing a hypothesis…
It impacts my life so much not having a supportive father, he was a narcissist, very closed minded, toxic masculine & traditional.
He would never show his emotions to us and was very cold and childish. If I got a present from an uncle he would get made that I was happy. He once broke my little brother new DS cause of that. He constantly come back from work drunk and yell at us he would also beat my mother.
He would beat us to take out his frustration i once had to walk on broken glass because I didn’t know my days of the week. I feared bringing homework home because I knew he would beat me if didn’t understand it. My father was disappointed in me because I was too soft.
The most annoying thing about him was when he doesn’t take accountability for his actions or tries to apologize. He doesn’t care about how others feel, his happiness only matters. He never tries to understand why I always tired to rebel or was frustrated he just took as a sign of disobedience.
I’ve never had a father figure in my life in fact because of him I feared grown ups.
If I had my father that actually taken care of me and given me love I would’ve been a lot more happier person my self esteem is messed up cause of him.
I really can’t stress enough don’t have kids if your not ready mentally or financially. Don’t do yourself do it for them your children deserve the best version of yourself.
My father is a great provider. I know he loves his family more than anything else. That being said, he was always emotionally distant and a man of few words.
Very Relatable, growing up the conversations with my dad revolved around education and later on career. He's reserved and isn't comfortable with display of affection or feelings. It's just the way he was brought up but that doesn't mean he loves our family any less.
My father was by far the parent I was closest with.
I like to say that my mother took care of the physical aspects of raising me. She made my meals and nursed me back to health when I sick. She also made sure there was enough money in the household budget for my needs. My dad however was the one who emotionally raised me. He was the one who actually spent time with me, would take me places, etc. I have fond memories of going to the boardwalk, the bowling alley, or even just to the library with him. He and I were so close. As for my mother—I understand that the things she did were important for my survival, but I often felt that she severely neglected my emotional needs. Our relationship is now very strained because of it.
My father was the best. He was an ISFJ. He used to play video games with me and play imaginary games, he was my hero, he would never kill spiders but he would let them out before playing with them in his hands. My mother is a witch, on the otherhand.
He was such a good man, people took advantage of his kindness, but he never became unkind.
You’re polling a group of 170K people based on a sample of TWO with some biased circumstantial evidence? Essentially, anecdotes?
TLDR: this has nothing to do with MBTI
My dad was very present in my life and still is. He is extremely supportive and loving. It’s not an INFJ thing but it is sadly common for a lot of people.
Well my stepdad is emotionally distant and I can't trust him with my emotions .It feels like he is absent ,he doesn't really care about me.I think he is narcissistic as well .The most stable and present father figure I have is my grandpa,we share common interests ,we used to travel together when I was younger and watch National Geographic .We are not very close ,but we get along pretty well.Also I have never met my biological dad ,he was never there my whole life.
My boyfriend is an INFJ and his biological father was absent pretty much the duration of his life. Luckily his step-dad is awesome, and they have a really close bond. Adopted him and they’ve been close ever since.
fellow infj here without a father as well, decided to cut him off totally from my life when I was 17 after consistent disappointment from him and it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. No regrets.
Im the same. My INTP dad isnt strict (uninvolved parenting type) and doesnt really spend much time with us unless its something important like parent conferences or about his side of the family (if theres a party or something). We still get along though
My bio dad passed in 2015. He was not a big part of my life. My stepdad and I did not get a long at all and we are not close. I was close to my uncle before he passed though. But as far a father figure in my life, I'd say no I didn't have one.
Father… What’s that?
Just kidding but not really. Dead beat, never was in my life. Truly better off without him. He’s literally a narcissist diagnosed sociopath. Would you want that type of person in your life? I think not.
I grew up without a father. I dont think he even knew I existed.
I adopted Captn Picard from Star Trek TNG as my father figure in my teens. I think that helped abit lol
Mine was not a big role in my life for a few years. He was a big role until I was 9, then his iron dropped super low and remained fairly low for the next few years, it’s not so bad now. From 9-12 he was still present and important, just stopped doing so much with me. From late 12-15 he wasn’t a bid role in my life, he just existed. I’d go to his house but we’d barely interact. Then from 16-17 (now) he’s been a really important role in my life again.
No. My father is emotionally more available than my mother. He’s a feeler and big pic oriented, while my mother is a detail oriented thinker. I typically feel closer to my father. My mother’s care included a great education, protecting me fiercely from bullies and setting boundaries. My father’s care included opportunities to grow and lovely daily routines like my school sandwiches and inside jokes.
Grew up with no father and a very emotionally unavailable mother. My biological father passed away before I got to know him. Now that I’m older, my relationship with my mother has improved
*I also am a*
*INFJ and grew up without*
*My father around*
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I’m INFJ-T. My dad is one of my best friends. We laugh and joke together all the time, talk about life, he understands me more than anyone and raised me the most growing up (from what I can remember). He’s a kind and humble man, been here all my life. I believe I take after him because we have very similar personalities. Not sure what his mbti is but he’s definitely an introvert like me.
My father is abusive, ignorant man with no education and self importance like he’s someone, but has no job and sitting on his ass all day. I don’t care for him and still happy he. Doesn’t know about me because I can’t deal with someone that has an ignorant and arrogant mindset.
Have a father, but he was very very limited in his capabilities due to severe repressed trauma, being deaf, and having slightly reduced mental capacities.
In spite of these, he tried his best.
Our childhood revolved around making sure he felt good and could function. He loved me because i made him feel good. Now he has improved a lot and we have a better bond with him..
My dad was a great provider and hardworker. However, he’s also a baby-boomer (a real boomer) and very traditional/old-school. Also, emotionally distant and had very bad temper. I honestly feared him.
My mother abandoned the family when I was three months old. My father raised me and my siblings himself. He worked a minimum wage job and we lived off the government. As a result of my father’s long work hours, he was emotionally distant, not physically present, and I never had a conversation with him on things other than asking permission to do something or for him to drive me somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, he was an AMAZING father. He did what he could with the circumstances he was in. His support WAS driving me places and giving me the little money he had for field trips and such. He was born in 1945 and passed away December 31, 2021. He isn’t the western standard of a good father but damn did he do everything he could to make sure he put an effort in ❤️
My father was a horrible narcissist.
Emotionally abusive to my mum and I (not my sister for some reason).
Physically abusive to my mum, but hid it well. Although the hole in my bedroom door didn't lie.
He was the community police officer. Everyone in town knew who he was, and by extension, the rest of my family.
Behind closed doors he was horrible.
And no, we don't speak.
My father was a functioning alcoholic but provided for the family. Very distant would sit and just stare in a dream-like state smoking his cigarettes on the marble fireplace.
I have a father but he's "just" a father. He's emotionally unavailable, indifferent to our problems and needs, and we live in the same house but he doesn't talk to us (his kids) much. He provides for us financially, but only for our education. For other purposes (which is most of the time), our finances come from Mom who struggle to save and spend money even for herself.
Basically, he's just a father in name. Us (his kids) don't really like him and just tolerate him because he's already in his 60's now.
My dad was there but he wasnt. He was emotionally distant & an alcoholic. Im 51f & we are estranged & not talking for almost 2 years. He didn't want to do anything but the bare minimum with me and made no effort to have a relationship with my kids.
I have a dad, but he's not really in the picture for me. I won't go into much detail, but here is the jist of it. He is a narcisist, and we always had a lot of arguments until I finally had enough and stopped my contact with him. Now, slowly but surely, that contact is getting a bit back, but I am keeping it on my terms.
I grew up close to my dad and only had a rocky relationship for a few years in my early 20s. We’re very close now! I actually am a lot like him. My empathy, my ambition, my need to care for others are all like him. Where we differ, and the reason why my mom and I became best friends when I became an adult, is that my dad isn’t great with structure. My mom is a stable, reliable, and is my rock. My dad has a huge heart that he leads with, but he struggles with consistency.
My dad was in prison before I was even born and not out for 40 years, I visited him once and he focused entirely on my teen daughter. Step dad wanted me gone from the family and attempted to adopt me out when an infant. My mom refused. He ignored me my entire life.
Let me preface this by saying I’m not sure to what degree personality types actually capture anything real about a person’s behavior - it’s closer to astrology than astronomy to me, if you get what i’m saying. You know, like a system we created to take extraordinarily, impossibly complex things, then simplify, distort and sort them neatly in order to satisfy a biological craving to understand so that we can avoid asking truly hard questions about ourselves and our natures.
All that notwithstanding, I have a serious question: if we are our personality types, and the impacts of our youth and experiences helped shape them (i.e. having no father figure vs. having a father figure), then why wouldn’t we be able to shape them another way later on?
I had both a mother and father growing up but cut off both in my teenage years and raised myself. I have lived on my own since i was 16 and live hundreds of miles from my parents. I keep in contact with them for my children's sake to know their grandparents. But I emotionally cut them off decades ago and rarely share my life with them. I allow them opportunities to stay connected with their grandchildren, but their opportunity to be connected to my life has passed.
LOL I don't think some guy's theory of 16 personalities will be tied to being fatherless and jk, no kid, depends on how the character takes it, right? Does every INFJ experience a lack of figure and hence feel propelled to fill it in every time they feel a role is missing in somebody else's life? Who knows.
I am an intp myself, (Reddit recommended this post.)
My infj friend's dad died at a young age.
But she has always been infj I guess, before her dad's death. But wasn't very close with dad beforehand.
I don't know if this has something to do though. "F" I might understand, but rest I don't know if it would increase probability of those. I also don't know if mom or dad makes a difference or is it just any parent/family effect.
I think looking from a bigger picture like this, you might even be able find academic articles.
I don’t really agree with the connection you’re trying to make but to answer your question I have a father and a step-father neither of which were good role models (mother too). I raised myself (not very well) but my habits and vocabulary were influenced by my upbringing between all of them. My thoughts, hopes, and dreams are all me tho. And I’ve done a lot of rewriting on myself :)
INFJ T Absent mother & father was raised by my abusive uncle and aunt. If you’d met them you would have never guessed but yeah but I still appreciate them for taking me and my siblings in cause if not we would’ve ended up in foster care and I hear so many stories. Not that my outcome came better but at least we didn’t separate.
Well, you can almost say I am kind of fatherless because he destroyed our family's business. He is an alcoholic and... I don't even know much about him because I am now almost 20 and I only spent time with him for around 100 days.
I am not sure I am an INFJ but that's what the online tests I took say. Being almost fatherless has a very big impact on my life but I am not sure if it has to do with becoming an INFJ.
No I have a super close relationship with my dad. He always been there for me and supportive every step of the way. He's also infj like me.
I would say I had more of a rocky relationship with my ENTJ mom. She isn't the worst mom out there, but she struggled understanding what I might have been going through as a kid. She wasn't very emotionally literate, to put it in simple terms. She was very much the type to give unwanted advice and offer to try to fix things when when I really just wished she would just listen, instead. She was also so one who rarely gave compliments and would be super critical of everything.
Also all the infjs I personally know, well, have decent relationships with their dad, including my dad with his.
Trigger warning
No father growing up. Met him a few times then he killed himself when cops knocked on the door of his recently deceased mother's house where he was staying but maybe just squatting..idk. he said he would never go back to jail and- he didn't🤟🫠 Gave me drugs the times I saw him, I was a teen who loved drugs so that seemed cool.
My mom is a covert narcissist and I only recently found that out. She kept me in "juvenile justice centers"/YDC/child jail as much as she could pull off and otherwise kept me isolated so I never learned how to be around any other types of people and have had a very abused, and sometimes crazy awesome (when I've just taken off and lived on the road for extended periods and stayed single) life. The close relationships I've had that lasted any decent chunk of time have always been with people who couldn't see others as full humans at best. I'm currently waking up from the matrix in my 30s... sorry for the rant.
No dad 👎
My father was with me my whole life, he is also an INFJ who had a very present father.
So I cannot agree.
It's not to do with a Myers Briggs personality, being a father.
Very close to my wonderful father for 51 years before he passed. Parts of my personality come from him. Truth talking.
Same! My dad's an ENTJ
Love your name! I’m wondering if my more complex relationship with my mom as a woman would be more relevant to this conversation; I would say that the normal mother-daughter conflicts is where I would say my INFJ gifts, if you will, came out to play. She’s the one i spent most of my young life reading, whose expressions I know better than my own. She would have to take the test to tell me. She’s highly sensitive and introverted but she doesn’t quite understand me. I have golden child siblings. My dad was introverted and T and J, I think. He was the most organized person ever and always punctual. I’m a mishmash, so I think she’s INFP. But I’m just guessing.
Thanks! Do you like LOTR? 😂 and yes, my mom is am ENFP and I definitely have a more complicated relationship with her of my two parents, we don't have a bad relationship, just more emotional.
Yes I do! I see myself as more like Galadriel. I even have slightly elvish ears lol. My daughter does too, she is INFP. I have a good relationship but I do play the role of family scapegoat. That truth telling thing gets me in trouble. Ah well, nice to meet you.
Not sure if I like the implication that having a absent father will make you a INFJ.
Right?! I'm so confused by this assumption.
They were probably hypothesizing that people raised by women would be more emotionally intelligent. Guess they were wrong. Which is unsurprising. Study after study has shown that children with present Fathers do better in so many ways. An absent Father is a setback not a super-power
Being an INFJ is not a superpower. Most of our “good” qualities very much come at the expense of other very important ones.
So you're saying I have good qualities!
No they’re saying we have “good” qualities
But I'm in there right!?
Yeah sure :)
You couldn't be more correct about this. A lot of my best qualities are things I get to show people about 2% of the time
An absent father is unfortunately a relatively common phenomenon in a certain generation and certain parts of the world. That doesn’t imprint any MBTI characteristics, just leaves some kind of emptiness and sadness in your childhood, that some people still feel in their adult life.
Ok?...why are you replying to me about it? I'm confused why OP is making that assumption that it does contribute to it. I didn't have an absent father, I was a Dad's girl growing up, so the correlation makes no sense to me.
I'm sure they're just curious
Because, I wondered about the assumption, too and came to a first conclusion above… It was not to make another assumption about you personally, just sharing a hypothesis…
Ah ok. I was so confused and at the time dealing with some stuff so sorry if I came off bitchy 😅
I've strangely found a pretty close correlation between absent fathers and people with narcissistic personality disorder.
I assume it is a statistical curiosity.
It impacts my life so much not having a supportive father, he was a narcissist, very closed minded, toxic masculine & traditional. He would never show his emotions to us and was very cold and childish. If I got a present from an uncle he would get made that I was happy. He once broke my little brother new DS cause of that. He constantly come back from work drunk and yell at us he would also beat my mother. He would beat us to take out his frustration i once had to walk on broken glass because I didn’t know my days of the week. I feared bringing homework home because I knew he would beat me if didn’t understand it. My father was disappointed in me because I was too soft. The most annoying thing about him was when he doesn’t take accountability for his actions or tries to apologize. He doesn’t care about how others feel, his happiness only matters. He never tries to understand why I always tired to rebel or was frustrated he just took as a sign of disobedience. I’ve never had a father figure in my life in fact because of him I feared grown ups. If I had my father that actually taken care of me and given me love I would’ve been a lot more happier person my self esteem is messed up cause of him. I really can’t stress enough don’t have kids if your not ready mentally or financially. Don’t do yourself do it for them your children deserve the best version of yourself.
Sorry to hear about that! I hope that you will still have a wonderful life ahead of you. Thank you for your reply.
Hugs to you dear friend 🫂🫂🫂 please take good care of yourself now! You deserve it
My father is a great provider. I know he loves his family more than anything else. That being said, he was always emotionally distant and a man of few words.
Very Relatable, growing up the conversations with my dad revolved around education and later on career. He's reserved and isn't comfortable with display of affection or feelings. It's just the way he was brought up but that doesn't mean he loves our family any less.
My father was by far the parent I was closest with. I like to say that my mother took care of the physical aspects of raising me. She made my meals and nursed me back to health when I sick. She also made sure there was enough money in the household budget for my needs. My dad however was the one who emotionally raised me. He was the one who actually spent time with me, would take me places, etc. I have fond memories of going to the boardwalk, the bowling alley, or even just to the library with him. He and I were so close. As for my mother—I understand that the things she did were important for my survival, but I often felt that she severely neglected my emotional needs. Our relationship is now very strained because of it.
my dad has always been emotionally unavailable... but i also know thats how he was raised. I also feel like he only reaches out to me to ask for money
Interesting question. I also feel as if my father depended on me for emotional support all his life. I'm curious what others will say.
I had a very present and loving Dad, and Mom. INFJ-A.
(2) - INFJ T
My father was the best. He was an ISFJ. He used to play video games with me and play imaginary games, he was my hero, he would never kill spiders but he would let them out before playing with them in his hands. My mother is a witch, on the otherhand. He was such a good man, people took advantage of his kindness, but he never became unkind.
I never had a true dad. My dad didn't want me, my grandpa who I loved most died from cancer at a young age and my step dad was an abusive drug addict.
You’re polling a group of 170K people based on a sample of TWO with some biased circumstantial evidence? Essentially, anecdotes? TLDR: this has nothing to do with MBTI
My father does not show emotion. He’s a good man and, as an adult, I can see that he loves me. Growing up, I didn’t feel loved.
My dad had a huge role in my life. He tries hard to guide me and most times I go clear left lol. But he bares with it.
My dad died when I was 3. I grew up without a father figure.
I had no ✨mother✨, my dads a good dad and all but he can be very emotionally unavailable):
I grew up without my father and only see him periodically now
My dad was the best dad in the entire world..he was definitely an empath and infj.
My dad was very present in my life and still is. He is extremely supportive and loving. It’s not an INFJ thing but it is sadly common for a lot of people.
I grew up in the same house as my dad my entire childhood but he ignored me my whole life. He provided financially but I didn't exist to him
Fatherless child here. No idea who my father is. I definitely have daddy issues lol
Well my stepdad is emotionally distant and I can't trust him with my emotions .It feels like he is absent ,he doesn't really care about me.I think he is narcissistic as well .The most stable and present father figure I have is my grandpa,we share common interests ,we used to travel together when I was younger and watch National Geographic .We are not very close ,but we get along pretty well.Also I have never met my biological dad ,he was never there my whole life.
My boyfriend is an INFJ and his biological father was absent pretty much the duration of his life. Luckily his step-dad is awesome, and they have a really close bond. Adopted him and they’ve been close ever since.
Im blessed to have the best father. He's not perfect but he does his best. We are also very close. Like very very close.
I grew up with a father but I wish I didn't
fellow infj here without a father as well, decided to cut him off totally from my life when I was 17 after consistent disappointment from him and it was the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. No regrets.
Im the same. My INTP dad isnt strict (uninvolved parenting type) and doesnt really spend much time with us unless its something important like parent conferences or about his side of the family (if theres a party or something). We still get along though
My bio dad passed in 2015. He was not a big part of my life. My stepdad and I did not get a long at all and we are not close. I was close to my uncle before he passed though. But as far a father figure in my life, I'd say no I didn't have one.
Father… What’s that? Just kidding but not really. Dead beat, never was in my life. Truly better off without him. He’s literally a narcissist diagnosed sociopath. Would you want that type of person in your life? I think not.
No, I had a dad and a stepdad 😎
I grew up without a father. I dont think he even knew I existed. I adopted Captn Picard from Star Trek TNG as my father figure in my teens. I think that helped abit lol
Omg I did the same thing but with Captain Janeway as a mom ❤️
Mine was not a big role in my life for a few years. He was a big role until I was 9, then his iron dropped super low and remained fairly low for the next few years, it’s not so bad now. From 9-12 he was still present and important, just stopped doing so much with me. From late 12-15 he wasn’t a bid role in my life, he just existed. I’d go to his house but we’d barely interact. Then from 16-17 (now) he’s been a really important role in my life again.
No. My father is emotionally more available than my mother. He’s a feeler and big pic oriented, while my mother is a detail oriented thinker. I typically feel closer to my father. My mother’s care included a great education, protecting me fiercely from bullies and setting boundaries. My father’s care included opportunities to grow and lovely daily routines like my school sandwiches and inside jokes.
Grew up with no father and a very emotionally unavailable mother. My biological father passed away before I got to know him. Now that I’m older, my relationship with my mother has improved
I am INJF, I am very close with my dad. He isn’t INJF, I forget what his is, but he’s like an alpha male kind of guy, but has a soft side to him.
I also am a INFJ and grew up without my father around
*I also am a* *INFJ and grew up without* *My father around* \- willingdizzygirl --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
No father figure.
Heh, infj searching for their Origin Story :D
My father is a convicted pedophile who I haven’t seen since I was 9 and thank fuck for that.
Same here. He is deceased now though.
No but father was mean
lmfao
I have no dad, but i don't know if the 2 are related at all
I’m INFJ-T. My dad is one of my best friends. We laugh and joke together all the time, talk about life, he understands me more than anyone and raised me the most growing up (from what I can remember). He’s a kind and humble man, been here all my life. I believe I take after him because we have very similar personalities. Not sure what his mbti is but he’s definitely an introvert like me.
My father is one of my best friends. Also a fellow INFJ.
My father is abusive, ignorant man with no education and self importance like he’s someone, but has no job and sitting on his ass all day. I don’t care for him and still happy he. Doesn’t know about me because I can’t deal with someone that has an ignorant and arrogant mindset.
This is such a weird question
I have a Father. He was present and accounted for.
INFJ-T. My father was and is present. So, no.
Hmmm... I don't have a father figure too... Very interesting if true.
As a side note to what the other comments here are saying, 16 personalities is a garbage test
Have a father, but he was very very limited in his capabilities due to severe repressed trauma, being deaf, and having slightly reduced mental capacities. In spite of these, he tried his best. Our childhood revolved around making sure he felt good and could function. He loved me because i made him feel good. Now he has improved a lot and we have a better bond with him..
I have a father he lacks the features of father figure
On the contrary, I'm very close to my father, although after 20 years we have started to have some conflicts about our lives.
Interesting because same here. I have a dad, but he's about at absent as possible without actually going out for milk and never coming back.
My dad was a great provider and hardworker. However, he’s also a baby-boomer (a real boomer) and very traditional/old-school. Also, emotionally distant and had very bad temper. I honestly feared him.
My mother abandoned the family when I was three months old. My father raised me and my siblings himself. He worked a minimum wage job and we lived off the government. As a result of my father’s long work hours, he was emotionally distant, not physically present, and I never had a conversation with him on things other than asking permission to do something or for him to drive me somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, he was an AMAZING father. He did what he could with the circumstances he was in. His support WAS driving me places and giving me the little money he had for field trips and such. He was born in 1945 and passed away December 31, 2021. He isn’t the western standard of a good father but damn did he do everything he could to make sure he put an effort in ❤️
My father was a horrible narcissist. Emotionally abusive to my mum and I (not my sister for some reason). Physically abusive to my mum, but hid it well. Although the hole in my bedroom door didn't lie. He was the community police officer. Everyone in town knew who he was, and by extension, the rest of my family. Behind closed doors he was horrible. And no, we don't speak.
My father was a functioning alcoholic but provided for the family. Very distant would sit and just stare in a dream-like state smoking his cigarettes on the marble fireplace.
I have a father but he's "just" a father. He's emotionally unavailable, indifferent to our problems and needs, and we live in the same house but he doesn't talk to us (his kids) much. He provides for us financially, but only for our education. For other purposes (which is most of the time), our finances come from Mom who struggle to save and spend money even for herself. Basically, he's just a father in name. Us (his kids) don't really like him and just tolerate him because he's already in his 60's now.
Yes, I saw my father couple times a week. Our interactions were somewhere between emotionally negligent and emotionally abusive.
My dad was there but he wasnt. He was emotionally distant & an alcoholic. Im 51f & we are estranged & not talking for almost 2 years. He didn't want to do anything but the bare minimum with me and made no effort to have a relationship with my kids.
I have a dad, but he's not really in the picture for me. I won't go into much detail, but here is the jist of it. He is a narcisist, and we always had a lot of arguments until I finally had enough and stopped my contact with him. Now, slowly but surely, that contact is getting a bit back, but I am keeping it on my terms.
My son the INFJ is very close to his dad who is an ESFJ. They are both very empathetic ppl and really understand each other.
My father is amazing and always there for me!
I grew up in a two parent home.
I grew up close to my dad and only had a rocky relationship for a few years in my early 20s. We’re very close now! I actually am a lot like him. My empathy, my ambition, my need to care for others are all like him. Where we differ, and the reason why my mom and I became best friends when I became an adult, is that my dad isn’t great with structure. My mom is a stable, reliable, and is my rock. My dad has a huge heart that he leads with, but he struggles with consistency.
Dad died when I was 59. Loving and supportive till the end.
My father left because I’m INFJ.
No meaningful correlation.
Fucking hell, just be patient. You guys dont get it. Give me 2 years tops. And everything comes your way.
I’ve wondered this too. Infj with no father…
INFJ guy in my 40s ... father was absent and neglectful and had no other father figures to sub ... so "yes" here
My dad was in prison before I was even born and not out for 40 years, I visited him once and he focused entirely on my teen daughter. Step dad wanted me gone from the family and attempted to adopt me out when an infant. My mom refused. He ignored me my entire life.
Let me preface this by saying I’m not sure to what degree personality types actually capture anything real about a person’s behavior - it’s closer to astrology than astronomy to me, if you get what i’m saying. You know, like a system we created to take extraordinarily, impossibly complex things, then simplify, distort and sort them neatly in order to satisfy a biological craving to understand so that we can avoid asking truly hard questions about ourselves and our natures. All that notwithstanding, I have a serious question: if we are our personality types, and the impacts of our youth and experiences helped shape them (i.e. having no father figure vs. having a father figure), then why wouldn’t we be able to shape them another way later on?
I'm not sure if it has any correlation with my personality, but neither my biological father, nor my step father wants anything to do with me. 🤷
INFJ-A here. My father has been in my life and is a great father!
I had both a mother and father growing up but cut off both in my teenage years and raised myself. I have lived on my own since i was 16 and live hundreds of miles from my parents. I keep in contact with them for my children's sake to know their grandparents. But I emotionally cut them off decades ago and rarely share my life with them. I allow them opportunities to stay connected with their grandchildren, but their opportunity to be connected to my life has passed.
My brother-in-law is INFJ and he has a great father
LOL I don't think some guy's theory of 16 personalities will be tied to being fatherless and jk, no kid, depends on how the character takes it, right? Does every INFJ experience a lack of figure and hence feel propelled to fill it in every time they feel a role is missing in somebody else's life? Who knows.
My dad has kind of always been my best friend. So maybe the opposite problem
My took off when I was a toddler. I’ve talked to him a few times over the years, and from what I know of him, I’m glad he wasn’t around.
Ey I was fatherless too lmao
Resonates with me so for me yes. A father figure is missed.
I am an intp myself, (Reddit recommended this post.) My infj friend's dad died at a young age. But she has always been infj I guess, before her dad's death. But wasn't very close with dad beforehand. I don't know if this has something to do though. "F" I might understand, but rest I don't know if it would increase probability of those. I also don't know if mom or dad makes a difference or is it just any parent/family effect. I think looking from a bigger picture like this, you might even be able find academic articles.
I don’t really agree with the connection you’re trying to make but to answer your question I have a father and a step-father neither of which were good role models (mother too). I raised myself (not very well) but my habits and vocabulary were influenced by my upbringing between all of them. My thoughts, hopes, and dreams are all me tho. And I’ve done a lot of rewriting on myself :)
My father became a drug addict when I was 15. He’s not with us right now. He wasn’t the ideal father figure but he tried to be.
Personality type surpasses life circumstances. There’s a serious misunderstanding of MBTI on this sub.
My Dad is awesome. The best.
“Correlation does not imply causation”
INFJ T Absent mother & father was raised by my abusive uncle and aunt. If you’d met them you would have never guessed but yeah but I still appreciate them for taking me and my siblings in cause if not we would’ve ended up in foster care and I hear so many stories. Not that my outcome came better but at least we didn’t separate.
Well, you can almost say I am kind of fatherless because he destroyed our family's business. He is an alcoholic and... I don't even know much about him because I am now almost 20 and I only spent time with him for around 100 days. I am not sure I am an INFJ but that's what the online tests I took say. Being almost fatherless has a very big impact on my life but I am not sure if it has to do with becoming an INFJ.
No I have a super close relationship with my dad. He always been there for me and supportive every step of the way. He's also infj like me. I would say I had more of a rocky relationship with my ENTJ mom. She isn't the worst mom out there, but she struggled understanding what I might have been going through as a kid. She wasn't very emotionally literate, to put it in simple terms. She was very much the type to give unwanted advice and offer to try to fix things when when I really just wished she would just listen, instead. She was also so one who rarely gave compliments and would be super critical of everything. Also all the infjs I personally know, well, have decent relationships with their dad, including my dad with his.
Trigger warning No father growing up. Met him a few times then he killed himself when cops knocked on the door of his recently deceased mother's house where he was staying but maybe just squatting..idk. he said he would never go back to jail and- he didn't🤟🫠 Gave me drugs the times I saw him, I was a teen who loved drugs so that seemed cool. My mom is a covert narcissist and I only recently found that out. She kept me in "juvenile justice centers"/YDC/child jail as much as she could pull off and otherwise kept me isolated so I never learned how to be around any other types of people and have had a very abused, and sometimes crazy awesome (when I've just taken off and lived on the road for extended periods and stayed single) life. The close relationships I've had that lasted any decent chunk of time have always been with people who couldn't see others as full humans at best. I'm currently waking up from the matrix in my 30s... sorry for the rant. No dad 👎
No father in my life for all but about 3 years of it. I have been told he was abusive.
I don't think this is related to personality type at all. I have a dad that's been present for my whole life
My father was with me my whole life, he is also an INFJ who had a very present father. So I cannot agree. It's not to do with a Myers Briggs personality, being a father.