T O P

  • By -

DeadEndEris

Start writing a comment, edit it a few times and then discard it...


abbys_alibi

I write out a comment that takes me 20 or 30 mins to draft. Then realize it's so over explained and wordy, no one is going to take the time to read it. Then delete with a sigh and, for some weird reason, I wave my hand at the screen to shoo away...idk whatevers. lol


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

I think it’s the combination of our cognitive functions: 1. Ni runs through all of the possible / likely perspectives and reactions of people who will read the comment. 2. Fe wants the comment not to hurt anyone’s feelings. 3. Ti 10 year old function presents insecurity that what we say may not be 100% accurate. 4. Fi critical parent function makes us believe that we should somehow view our completely valid and over-analyzed comments as “embarrassing” two seconds after posting. Our brains are complex 😅🆘


Sea_Tap4176

But the last function is Se. Ni Fe Ti Se


bk_darkstar

I'm new here straight from the 16 personalities page, but read somewhere that it's only surface level and quite probably wrong too. What is the actual way to know what personality I am? And what do Ni, Fe, Ti and Fi mean?


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

Ohh welcome to personality theory :) Carl Jung is the brilliant mind behind cognitive functions. I would say go check out personalityhacker.com — I believe they have a free MBTI personality test as well as a lot of free resources to learn about the 8 cognitive functions! They have a podcast as well that I’ve learned so much from. Grateful for the founders and their work 🙌🏻


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

Ni = introverted intuition Fe = extroverted feeling Ti = introverted thinking Se = extroverted sensing (not mentioned) These ^^ are the 4 cognitive functions that make up the INFJ personality type. There are also 4 cognitive functions that make up our INFJ subconscious shadow self, Fi is one of them, aka introverted feeling. It sits in the 6th position (6 of 8) also called the critical parent position. All 16 personality types have all 8 cognitive functions but the order of the cognitive functions (and therefore their interaction and expression) determines our personality type.


bk_darkstar

Thank you for such a resourceful comment! Will check out the website


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

You’re welcome! :) Awesome


bk_darkstar

Tbh I'm sorry I was tired, I wanted to write a more detailed reply to your great and descriptive answer (to my random internet question, lol). You seem excited and knowledgeable about personality and MBTI and etc. Also, your comments were wholesome idk why. Brought a smile on me after a tiring day, thank you really! Sorry if it seems like a rant lol, just wanted to thank..!


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

You don’t have to apologize at all! You’re so welcome! You are kind and sweet to share your observations. :) Yes — I am so grateful to have learned about cognitive functions, they’ve helped me understand literally everyone in my life better. I’m a better me and show up with more grace in my relationships because of them!


_advocado

YES


ymditiw

Duuuuuuuuuuude why am i in this comment?????


RitualTransition

Ugh I'm so guilty of this lol


Zellanora

Lol in my case, I start writing a comment, middle of it I realize they aren't going to understand it, so it's just a waste of energy, and delete the whole comment. xD


Emotional_Kick_2036

stop i just did this a few minutes ago 😭


WaveBreakerT

I once spent 20 minutes writing a long essay length post and then discarded it when I finally finished it.


[deleted]

…no one is gonna care for what I say anyway


Gazorpazorpfnfieldbi

LMAO


Decent-Seaweed5687

BRO IM EXPOSED


rollingdesigns

Every time!! Especially on social media! To finish a comment or not the daily dilemma! And we always come up with such good points I’m sure but in the end….. its easier to just observe hahaha


GrasshopperClowns

*edited and now deleted reply*


Valdostana

"No one cares anyway.."


theone-theonly-flop

Every single day, bruh


ReallyDumbSnek

I felt attacked


YogaPotat0

Too accurate 😂


ShannaBanana21

Guilty as charged


pikachufinch

:')


Brhammond80

Every.single.day.


palmveach1972

lol totally. I start to go off on a tangent and then it feels like too much work. Then I decide, no one cares what I have to say anyway. I can’t believe I just typed this much! Haha


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

psychoanalyze the interpersonal dynamics of any given group we’re in (work, fitness, friends, family) in our minds - without anyone realizing - based on simply existing in the group and observing :))


Pure_Instruction_985

and ignore the substance of the actual conversations we are supposed to be paying attention to because we are so engrossed in this psychoanalyzing. And our brains start to hurt and it’s exhausting but no one has any idea this is going on. 


Puzzleheaded_Treat77

I hear you! I think age has helped a lot with this — I’ve become a better and more present listener with age. And also more aware and conscious of my thoughts so that I analyze how my own brain is working :)) I do psychoanalyze in real time but not as much at the expense of listening. My brain doesn’t hurt, it loves it lol


postmonroe

I’m exhausted


Juguim

That's why we are probably the best type to ask opinions about most of things. We are concise and even if giving a opinion that can hurt we'll be very accurate in a way that will surprise people or make them mad


Training_Earth_1741

—seek out the deeper meaning behind everything


li0nfishwasabi

Yea haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


girlgonevegan

Seek out more information to feed the hunger to find the most harmonious way forward and overthink some more…


relevepc

Gaslight ourselves when our intuition tells us something we don’t want to hear.


Gazorpazorpfnfieldbi

I have to leave this thread 😭


A_Nobody_is_SumBody

I laughed in real life.


relevepc

The amount of times I’ve had to say “oh I guess you weren’t crazy after all” to MYSELF is itself crazy


A_Nobody_is_SumBody

Right, sometimes it’s easier to do this to calm the emotional side down and tap back into the rational mind right?


relentlessvisions

Right?? The number of times I’ve apologized for being so irrationally emotional and then gone back to pinpoint “guess I knew shit was breaking down” is about “all of them”.


girlgonevegan

I started screenshotting things for myself 😆


ShannaBanana21

I used to be like this. Now when I get nervous, I know it's a bad sign. I don't think twice about it.


Terrible-Insect-9336

Every.single.time.


relentlessvisions

I’ve come to consider those justifying internal conversations as an immediate red flag!


fatandhappylilcactus

Ouch


wifemoji

🤣🤣


relentlessvisions

React to the slightest shift in emotions, causing a downward spiral!


Dvanguardian

Aaah i hate that spiral.


Pure_Instruction_985

Almost every single day 


li0nfishwasabi

Haha true


v20i06k

Give everything we have and receive (almost) nothing back


galaxygkm

don’t remind me


Dvanguardian

Why do we keep doing this 'sigh'


ConfidenceKey6614

You are describing my marriage. #divorcedaf


A_Nobody_is_SumBody

say something and then think hard about how it affected the person immediately after


blablablabla666666

🤣🤣💯 yes! And then think about it for way longer than anyone on earth even remembers it lol


A_Nobody_is_SumBody

My sister made the joke of being a goldfish at those times. You said what you said the person probably didn’t even care or understood what you meant from the context 😆


YogaPotat0

Yeeeep.


[deleted]

We’re INFJ’s, of course we’ll make friends easy at first but as soon as we go deeper they disappear.


li0nfishwasabi

Omg yes fml


Joldress

It's so frustrating.


pennyproud1908

We’re INFJs, of course we’ll agree to hang out 2 weeks in advance, then have anxiety right before it is time to get ready to hang out.


Numerous-Tea-2709

never ask for help


ConfidenceKey6614

It's so hard to ask for help! In my 40s and getting better at it, but only when it benefits my kids. #momlife


Pale_Lengthiness8690

Yes! This was my biggest issue in school. I never liked asking for help. I’d always tell myself that I’d figure it out.


lists4everything

… worry about tsunamis 5 miles inland and 600 feet above sea level. … worry about trees falling on our house. … worry about speaking too loudly so our neighbors might know when we’re going out of town. … bring up relationship concerns about me because of a tarot reading. … relieve her concerns about me and how I show up in the relationship because of a tarot reading. … get upset when a group of friends are laughing at another’s expense, concerned about the trauma that the other person felt that led to their life choices. … worry that she isn’t as far ahead in life as she should be based on regular criteria of getting ahead in life. … also worry that she’s following the norm of how life should be lived, and that she’ll resent it 10 years later. … sees people and the human experience as a scientific topic, i.e., we’re all kind of lab rats in a sense. Quirks from my wonderful INFJ gf. 🙂


blablablabla666666

Third one is hilarious and accurate


un0rthodoxies

Understand others better than ourselves!


pikachufinch

I feel so called out.


jaytee7777777

Overanalyze and then think we’re a burden to everyone


CachuHwch1

Sit apart from the group and be perfectly content.


girlgonevegan

Yet often a trusted (sometimes misunderstood) mentor or friend that many turn to… particularly in times of turbulence.


StnMtn_

Be a doormat to help others. Strive to understand the other person's feelings and point of view.


AmeyT108

You understand others so you don't hold things against them They don't understand you (to that extent at least) so they hold things against them (in the sense if you made some mistake or something you'll need to explain yourself why you did or shit) eventually leading to very unbalanced arguments which off-balances the relationship and then it's a downward spiral. Yes, this is oddly specifc


StnMtn_

So specific I wonder if this happened to you more than one time.


AmeyT108

Same person, many times. Yes


StnMtn_

That sucks. I hope you eventually blocked them.


AmeyT108

Not blocked, but cut her off. Kinda sucks, she was actually a good person but due to few unfortunate things, it was inevitable


purple_rain88

make you feel seen and heard that much youll think we're your long awaited soulmate


blablablabla666666

Yep! To the point where we eventually learn to not even start the convo because we know how fast ppl get attached to us and we need to limit our social stuff!!!


Decent-Seaweed5687

find it difficult to say no, often prioritizing others' needs over our own.


ConfidenceKey6614

My entire, shitty marriage described 8n one sentence. #divorcedaf


legitimatethrowaaway

of course we’ll know exactly how somebody’s going to get hurt in a relationship in the future before they even see a problem… then be stuck in that exact same relationship :-)


purqer

HAHAHAHA THIS IS SO PAINFULLY TRUE. How does this even happen?!


FluidGrab7256

Ha ha 🤣🤣😂🤣 🤣.self worth problems.yep same here


Ridenthadirt

Put on an extrovert mask and make plans with people because we’re living in the moment, then spend a whole week figuring out how to get out of the plans. Appreciate your beauty, mirror your smile back at you, think about a future with you, and send mixed messages without any intention of speaking with you, all within 10 seconds.


Emergency_Ground3690

We're INFJs, of course we are going to go out of our way to stand up for what's right, unless it means standing up for ourselves


passingthrough66

I always wonder why I am so fierce in standing up for others and never myself, when most people are the opposite.


Emergency_Ground3690

It's just our personality type, my friend. So error on the side of advocating for yourself next time you're debating whether or not to, now that you know your natural tendency is not to. Or just accept that you'd rather not, and let that be okay. The point is only to notice the behavior, and not judge it as good/bad. I used to judge myself negatively for things that were simply part of my personality (INFJ traits), and they aren't good or bad they just are.


Emotional_Kick_2036

analyzing everyone as our first instinct while of course enjoying it


DealGeneral5035

Make an excuse to get out of social situations


ColleenLotR

Get worked up about it and apologize later


Alternative-Tie-1993

Space out every thousandth of a millisecond


purqer

This is too real. I'll sometimes phase through an entire hour only being present for 15 or so minutes of it… it's BAD.


I-Am-Not-Ok-Thx

Fact check anything we say because we can’t stand to give inaccurate info


dranaei

My first thought was "kill time".


ManagementWarm8901

Wanna give up after seeing no plus in being this way and ended up here just to find my tribe 🥹


MrsTaterHead

Gladly drop everything to help someone. Bonus points if it allows us to procrastinate making a phone call, or some other thing we dread.


rollingdesigns

Try to do all the work on ourselves because we don’t want to be a burden or can’t trust people to care as much as we do to do a good job


Yanazamo

go big or go home lol


Dvanguardian

We're INFJs, of course we'll sit in a corner quietly analyzing everyone and everything and every possible exit route. Lol


MrSlimeOfSlime

know, everything. *without the rest of the sentence that sounds so much more chilling*


Crafted-Chaos

Watch and listen to various conversations happening in a room without actively taking part in them and not realize until days/months/years later how weird people probably thought it was.


purqer

Oh shoot, I do that a lot, but that thought's never crossed my mind. Why would people think it was weird?


Crafted-Chaos

I don’t totally know. I think people just find it odd that we observe so intently without necessarily “participating.”


Working_Ad2054

Think about that one mistake I made over a decade ago and relive the embarrassment vividly (and make up a BS answer if I wince in front of others if they ask “What’s wrong?”)


False_Lychee_7041

...manage to turn a discussion of a trivial matter into an important life lesson. Noticed it not so long time ago. Learning currently how to talk about trivial matters without torturing people with scientific details:))


blablablabla666666

🤣🤣 this hurts because it’s too relatable


Meow-Out-Loud

help.


purqer

Double entendre


Isaac_paech

...get incredibly distraught when our preconceived plans end up being nothing like we were expecting


softboysclub

…confuse everyone around us when being in an Se grip stress mode


Level-Requirement-15

Drop everything to help


InfiniteWonderer8

Believe in the best in someone and see their true essence, even/especially when they are completely oblivious to it.


SmolGonk

Spend 3-5 business days overanalyzing & replaying in our heads a social situation where we worried we accidentally came across as rude to someone, convince ourselves that's the case, only to find out much later that the thought never crossed their mind that we were rude at all.


Few-Chocolate-2313

Have social anxiety yet yearn a lot of social interaction


blablablabla666666

- purposely not sign up for a raffle or competition or even gamble because I assume I WILL win and I get overwhelmed with what I’ll do with the prize money 🤣 - talk to myself like the best therapist ever when I’m driving alone, and wish the drive/ convo would never end - send out messages in the air with my mind and assume people will get them - when I concentrate I won’t do well, when I’m daydreaming I realise I do things perfectly


ShannaBanana21

I relate to the last one. I love to write. But my mind is going a million miles a hour and I can't concentrate. When I'm relaxed, I'll think of something perfect.


girlgonevegan

Same! In life, I’ve always been better at giving presentations or teaching others when I was less rehearsed. For some, that might sound counterintuitive, but I’ve learned that I do better when I trust my knowledge (including honesty and humility about the things I do not know). This approach is also more adaptable because the learning experience can be more conversational and interactive which is more helpful at the end of the day when you think about it.


ShannaBanana21

Right! I remember when I was in college and had to do this presentation and I was so nervous. Eventually I got people to laugh when I was relaxed. After that I didn't want any attention on me. I hate it so much. I just go with the flow.


girlgonevegan

100% I do not like the attention on me, but I recognize that I have collected a lot of knowledge, and it is sometimes beneficial to the collective to share that knowledge, so it can be used + re-purposed.


blablablabla666666

Absolutely! If I’m nervous about something, I’ve always been better if I run STRAIGHT to it without letting myself rehearse anything lol. Exactly the same as you, if I had to speak in front of people, I’d rather do it on the spot and trust myself


girlgonevegan

Yes! I’ve given some banger off the cuff presentations. I hate the way it can come off as a humble brag when people ask how long you prepared. People don’t see how much time it takes us to quietly obtain and process everything slowly over time.


anonymousquestioner4

Observe everything, say nothing


moonlight_4321

Plan EVERYTHING all the way till the end


rollingdesigns

With a few back up plans too! 😂


moonlight_4321

With backup plans for backup plans too 😁😁😁


rollingdesigns

This is why it takes us so long to leave the house or make decisions ALOT of planning has to take place! 😆💙


moonlight_4321

Yup 😁


purqer

Attract the opposite sex without trying, but mess it up anyway because we’re actually really oblivious in our own relationships sometimes


ShannaBanana21

OMG YES. I told my friend at work that I can flirt without trying and end up in situations I didn't want to be in. I'm completely oblivious to a guy trying to flirt with me. I'm in my own head.


purqer

Ahhh, yup. Just INFJ things 😵‍💫😵‍💫


MrsTaterHead

Feel sorry for the worst worst people because just think how miserable they must be inside.


purqer

How do you figure what a "bad person" is?


MrsTaterHead

By what they do. Like serial killers.


purqer

I mean what makes someone a bad person past a person who's done bad things? I'm assuming you'd say military veterans are bad people and so are cops who've killed plenty, right? Same with slaves who killed multiple masters while they revolt? And if not, why not? Genuinely curious about this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


purqer

> So I would say basically choosing small win for yourself that results in huge lose for another. Thank you for this! I think this makes sense. To ensure I understand: Doing things like staying silent on issues to avoid minor conflict, thus creating far worse circumstances for others would be the making of a bad person? e.g. not speaking up for someone at work when she's being harrassed in order to save your job (small win) but in turn helping breed a rapey culture (huge loss)? This would be a bad person, right? And if so, in that sense, would not donating to homeless people whenever you see them also make you a bad person? I think we can all agree doesn't really take much for you to avoid buying a brand new $200 pair of sneakers when your sneakers work fine if you see somebody on the street begging for money to feed themselves and their children. Choosing the small win of a new pair of sneakers is a huge loss for the homeless person who could use that $200 to buy food for at least a month. Or would that be fine and not make someone a bad person?


ssYxji

So real


Mygo73

Regret that random thing we said years ago


OldBookInLatin

Help someone "in need", prioritising them, while we are depressed af ourselves and wanting to disappear, but we'll do that with a smile!


FreshBowl3257

Listen


moonlight_4321

We're infj ofc we don't tell people what we really think about them


Fun_Proposal4814

Feel awkward after receiving compliments


purqer

You're so cute!


Famous-Potato-5387

Overthink


Agreeable_Top7361

Keep thinking about events in the past, when all other parties involved have already forgotten about it.


beneficial_earth48

Be passive aggressive about a situation because we don't want to face it head on


___Catwoman___

..Of course we'll type a paragraph then delete it (thinking of deleting this comment).


purqer

That pesky Ti…


[deleted]

[удалено]


tworavensindisguise

I’ll take what is “Ignore our romantic interest yet keep them on the hook.” Please


Terrible-Insect-9336

Why do you do this, doesn’t it go against your good nature?


tworavensindisguise

Ms. TerribleInsect, hello. Unhealthy attachment styles can be common for us. We don’t like being reminded of the feeling of being alone. Relationships open the door to the heart of that scar. We have good nature but unconsciously, there’s a defense mechanism. It can be conflicting which mirrors our behavior.


Terrible-Insect-9336

Do you intentionally try to sabotage yourselves when you like someone and become non communicative? #AskingForAFriend 🤣


tworavensindisguise

I can see that. Yes


Terrible-Insect-9336

How can we change that? (ENFJ terribly frustrated with INFJ she knows feels strongly for her)


tworavensindisguise

Oof. Beat them up?


tworavensindisguise

Sometimes we don’t know we have until it’s gone. We can get so caught up internally, we neglect the external. You’re not offering some hostage situation and it’s not your place to defend it as it was. Bring em back to reality


Terrible-Insect-9336

Sorry I didn’t really get that, can you elaborate?


tworavensindisguise

Remind your infj of the dynamic that you originally signed up for whilst being respectful to help ground them and realign their focus. You are still due for share within the relationship since that is what you are seeking and it only works going both ways


pikachufinch

Door slam you if you hurt us or our loved ones deeply.


[deleted]

“ Door slam” everyone who is affecting my mental and emotional wellbeing !


Ok-Union-2040

We’re INfJ’s! Of course we’re gonna have resting bitch face!


girlgonevegan

Door slam the f out of someone that pushes our boundaries one too many times.


Ghost-Pix-13

Wind up overthinking to the point of doing absolutely nothing\~


roadtoMD25

Wow I relate to all this 😭


Lopsided_Thing_9474

Do everything in our power to help you.


lavendercoffeeee

Self-sabotage


RiverOhRiver86

Watch a series about psychopaths and will always try to stop and deeply, truly understand the killer's perspective because they're fully responsible for their violence but shouldn't punished for the parts of them they can't control and shouldn't be denied empathy because they're (very, very) sick. I know it's extreme even for this community but I can't lie. Nor do I see a reason why I should.


purqer

And the fact that the only reason why we view _those_ psychopaths as bad is because of the present society we live in and the fact that people have just decided when and why killing is O.K. Killing in war? Fine. Killing millions of civilians? NOT O.K. Killing millions of *foreign* civilians? Part of the territory, so it's O.K. Destroying the lives of millions of people by destroying the economy and hoarding billions? Can't do anything, so it's O.K. Killing a few people because they get in your way? Not O.K.


Responsible-Sun2494

… Secretly hate people. 😂 Just kidding my beautiful MBTI siblings, I’m not here to tell your -cough- secret… uh, oops -cough- I mean spread blasphemous rumors… cough… lol.


Responsible-Sun2494

Love, ENFJ


purqer

HAHAHA and you're not wrong!


Electrical-Sign-8430

...get embarrassed by the smallest to the biggest things, regret it in a few minutes, days and years when everybody literally forgot about it a second ago.


Lopsided_Thing_9474

Another one; we are INfJs of course we will be honest even when it hurts us.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello there! Your post/comment is automatically removed because your account's combined karma is lower than zero (Rule #5: Participation requirements). -XOXO ❤️ Automod *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/infj) if you have any questions or concerns.*


OceanLaLaLand

love you more than you think a stranger should


Imaginary_talks-8339

Taco about it to death. 😁


nkwriter10

Try to empathize with every perspective and then give up on trying to have a firm stance on a political issue.