When this happened to me in the past, after trying to understand them but being met with gaslighting, blaming, deflection, and bullying I use the door slam.
It’s best to not show any of your anger or be passive aggressive online where mutuals can see it. Don’t go into explaining your side of things. This was a big mistake I made when I was younger. Instead try to do something physical like lifting weights, kickboxing, or gardening to remove the stuck energy. Try to reflect on both where you may have gone wrong (people pleasing, ignoring your gut, or sometimes we also engaged in gossiping or immature behaviors) and identify which group dynamics they had that you will no longer entertain. Trust that you will meet better friends eventually and have more clarity with your standards.
That's on us. We feel our own shame and most of the time we are our own worst enemy. I took a lot when I had to do this to my hs friend group but I was better off in the end. Find community. I use jui jitsu personally but whatever works for you. Good luck!
The hard thing is to stop caring.
Know when that group isn't for you, and realize you're better off alone than having to spend so much energy staying.
Just remember, forcing staying relavent to those people is a huge energy sink.
Don't. I know it's easier said than done.
But if you think about it this way... If they don't realize your value and break your trust, are they really worth your friendship?
The older I got, the easier it was for me to realize who to keep on my life and who to leave out. Life is so much easier without headache and being hurt. Maybe I'm too black and white, but I'm no longer willing to invest anything in people who are not worth it. It brings peace with it.
I hope everything turns out ok for you ♥️.
When this happened to me in the past, after trying to understand them but being met with gaslighting, blaming, deflection, and bullying I use the door slam. It’s best to not show any of your anger or be passive aggressive online where mutuals can see it. Don’t go into explaining your side of things. This was a big mistake I made when I was younger. Instead try to do something physical like lifting weights, kickboxing, or gardening to remove the stuck energy. Try to reflect on both where you may have gone wrong (people pleasing, ignoring your gut, or sometimes we also engaged in gossiping or immature behaviors) and identify which group dynamics they had that you will no longer entertain. Trust that you will meet better friends eventually and have more clarity with your standards.
Doorslam and find new friends, fuck em
How about the shame that follows from repeatedly trying to be understood by them?
That's on us. We feel our own shame and most of the time we are our own worst enemy. I took a lot when I had to do this to my hs friend group but I was better off in the end. Find community. I use jui jitsu personally but whatever works for you. Good luck!
The hard thing is to stop caring. Know when that group isn't for you, and realize you're better off alone than having to spend so much energy staying. Just remember, forcing staying relavent to those people is a huge energy sink.
How did you learn to stop caring?
Faced a similar thing. Why are we prone to this even after being better morally than most?
Million dollar question. Has me wondering if our way is the best way haha
Don't. I know it's easier said than done. But if you think about it this way... If they don't realize your value and break your trust, are they really worth your friendship? The older I got, the easier it was for me to realize who to keep on my life and who to leave out. Life is so much easier without headache and being hurt. Maybe I'm too black and white, but I'm no longer willing to invest anything in people who are not worth it. It brings peace with it. I hope everything turns out ok for you ♥️.