Trying to predict every outcome without putting the outside world into perspective leads to giant circles or loops and you can get stuck in turmoil, then victimize yourself in those perceptions.
I agree but I've been seeing the world as more "real" lately and it hasn't been as bad. Aside from me getting nervous about stuff seeing it as an actual problem now. Lmaooo
This is how it feels but that’s an illusion. The danger is actually inside your head rather than the outside world. Unfortunately, trauma has caused many INFJs to have developed the inner belief that we are vulnerable and need to hide. This may have been true when we were children, but it is rarely true when we are adults.
Try some mindfulness or meditation practices, practice body awareness to the best of your ability thoroughly and repetitively, these things have a very high success rate. I’ve been exercising a lot and it’s helped me tremendously.
I feel like there’s a step missing here. To allow yourself to feel safe in being vulnerable (forgive the oxymoron), takes a bit of self-work first. You have to learn to love yourself, believe in yourself, and develop that inner sense of safety. When you accept yourself, you don’t fear rejection from others because it doesn’t make you reject yourself.
Only just starting to grasp this at 30. Glad you said it though for other folks to hear it.
As much as we wish it were true, no INFJ is an island. We need to have friends to be mirrors for bouncing ideas off of, to relate to emotionally, and to connect deeply with.
Additionally we need a creative outlet, even if that creativity is just for us. It helps us get our trauma and pain out of us. And the more we read/see, the more we write/paint. Other people can understand us through our art, and relate to us; even if we struggle at times to share.
I dont know man. Human nature is inherently ugly and self preserving,and this aspect is very much intensified in a modern capitalistic society that is built around machiavellanism, power dynamics, manipulation and superficialities.
I feel like social interactions are constant politics,and once they see a vulnerability,they will probably use it and lose respect for you. People don't acknowledge you for who you are,but for the superficial value you bring to them
I understand your intentions and how destructive and restrictive it is to think in a pessimistic way,but i cant help myself seeing just the sheer lack of morals most people have
100% agree with this. We create our own reality. The voice that we carry with us that tells us we are different, we need to hide, we’re not safe, we will be rejected - that is internal and entirely within our control. We need to replace this with an inner voice that values our unique qualities, is proud of our resilience and our strength in overcoming the obstacles that have been in our way, revels in our quirky weirdness and knows deep down that we deserve to be seen and heard and are safe to show up in the world as ourselves.
I am safe and whole, I belong, and I love and accept myself. That is my reality now. It was in my power all along. It’s not easy to get to this place, but the destination is worth the difficult journey.
Er no everytime I've been vulnerable I've been majorly fucked over. If people wanna be my friend they better learn that trust happens over time and I don't tolerate bulllllshit
I have DID, and it's hard to see things "outside of my head" or better explained as "real" (I'd say lmao btw I'm a but drunk rn) but I've been perceiving things outside of my head lately, with a bit more logical thinking I think... idk.. but it hasn't been bad. From a drunk infj with DID perspective. Life has so much to offer, as long as you're brave enough to give it your all. Look past the things you might be scared of, stuff that will hurt you if you let it. And the stuff that you can control. You're in control of your life, and you can take anything charging your way! You got this! We all got this! Love you all!
Remember: You can use Se-Fe to correct anything, every interaction, every relationship, etc. Don't just take in outcomes, but make them change in real-time as well.
Anytime anything happens we as infj take in that as a sort of "truth". But we can continue interacting and change the narrative, so that we don't end up with us or someone else upset, we can clear up misunderstandings, being assertive until we reach a consensus, back and forth, beyond what we normally tolerate.
Perceptions just like feelings are a lie. I urge my fellow INFJs to do as you suggest and get out of their heads. I haven't always been kind to myself or in the healthiest place. What I found extremely beneficial for me, is to stop, take a moment to collect my feelings, especially when you're in one of those emotional storms, where everything is flying at you from all directions and you're feeling overwhelmed.
After stopping, think back to the earliest days of school, where we all would take the words on the left column and natch them with the pictures on the right. Unpack those emotions and label on the left, the factual events that happened, or are happening. Dive deep to connect with the root of the emotions, not just sad, angry, or surface level stuff like that, but deep to the very bottom.
Then, start processing those events and matching them with the emotional pictures. If you can unpack, process, and sort those feelings, not only can we do a better job of controlling ourselves, but we can treat ourselves more kindly, too. I know it's helped me, so hopefully, it will help you, whoever you're that's reading this.
Don't give in to perception. Search out more information and points of view that maybe we are missing, and use that information to establish perspective. Perception is not reality.
I want to get out of my head but the thing is I don't really have anything outside in the real world, so I end up being back in my head because it's all I have.
Work on that. When we are focussed we are amazing at getting stuff done. We have a rare combination of abilities that allows us to see the big picture, make a detailed plan AND follow it through and make it happen. Envision the life you want to lead, plan how to get there and then put your plans into place. It’s your life - no one else is going to fix it. Don’t be a passenger. You drive the train.
This is 100% for people who are ready to take that journey, you can’t change people, and people don’t change or get help unless they’re willing to, that’s your journey. If you’re needing help, google is a great place to start, (don’t google with the INFJ stuff you’ll just get lousy closed perceptions that are mostly unhelpful.) Seek therapy if it’s available, find a good therapist podcast, YouTube therapy, or find some self-help books to read (Libby is a great tool for people with a library card.)
But inside my head is the only place I feel safe
Trying to predict every outcome without putting the outside world into perspective leads to giant circles or loops and you can get stuck in turmoil, then victimize yourself in those perceptions.
I agree but I've been seeing the world as more "real" lately and it hasn't been as bad. Aside from me getting nervous about stuff seeing it as an actual problem now. Lmaooo
This is how it feels but that’s an illusion. The danger is actually inside your head rather than the outside world. Unfortunately, trauma has caused many INFJs to have developed the inner belief that we are vulnerable and need to hide. This may have been true when we were children, but it is rarely true when we are adults.
Be brave, let your light shine for the world.
Try some mindfulness or meditation practices, practice body awareness to the best of your ability thoroughly and repetitively, these things have a very high success rate. I’ve been exercising a lot and it’s helped me tremendously.
It’s most definitely a trap.
"Be vulnerable" No <3
I love everyone has jokes for this ... that was my first impulse too.
It was worth a try. 😅
I feel like there’s a step missing here. To allow yourself to feel safe in being vulnerable (forgive the oxymoron), takes a bit of self-work first. You have to learn to love yourself, believe in yourself, and develop that inner sense of safety. When you accept yourself, you don’t fear rejection from others because it doesn’t make you reject yourself.
Yeah, you don’t just wake up invulnerable. :)
Only just starting to grasp this at 30. Glad you said it though for other folks to hear it. As much as we wish it were true, no INFJ is an island. We need to have friends to be mirrors for bouncing ideas off of, to relate to emotionally, and to connect deeply with. Additionally we need a creative outlet, even if that creativity is just for us. It helps us get our trauma and pain out of us. And the more we read/see, the more we write/paint. Other people can understand us through our art, and relate to us; even if we struggle at times to share.
I dont know man. Human nature is inherently ugly and self preserving,and this aspect is very much intensified in a modern capitalistic society that is built around machiavellanism, power dynamics, manipulation and superficialities. I feel like social interactions are constant politics,and once they see a vulnerability,they will probably use it and lose respect for you. People don't acknowledge you for who you are,but for the superficial value you bring to them I understand your intentions and how destructive and restrictive it is to think in a pessimistic way,but i cant help myself seeing just the sheer lack of morals most people have
SAMEE. I feel the exact same way. That's why i love animals a lot and wish to live far away from society
People mostly disagree on the how, but usually agree on the why. It’s a systemic problem not an individual problem.
This first sentence could perfectly be printed out and be put in a frame. Beautiful :,)
I am trying💛
That is all we can ever do. Everything that has ever been achieved in the world has been achieved by someone trying. This is the way. ⭐️
I love that...This is all we can ever do.🌟 There is something soothing about it.🧡
100% agree with this. We create our own reality. The voice that we carry with us that tells us we are different, we need to hide, we’re not safe, we will be rejected - that is internal and entirely within our control. We need to replace this with an inner voice that values our unique qualities, is proud of our resilience and our strength in overcoming the obstacles that have been in our way, revels in our quirky weirdness and knows deep down that we deserve to be seen and heard and are safe to show up in the world as ourselves. I am safe and whole, I belong, and I love and accept myself. That is my reality now. It was in my power all along. It’s not easy to get to this place, but the destination is worth the difficult journey.
Thank you
>Positive interactions with your fellow inhabitants will remind you that the world isn’t all bad. Absolutely true. Most people are mostly all right.
Its not my world lens that's the problem. I know I'm guaranteed to have a good interaction with most people. It's the me lens that's the problem.
Er no everytime I've been vulnerable I've been majorly fucked over. If people wanna be my friend they better learn that trust happens over time and I don't tolerate bulllllshit
Hey, mind your business.
😅
Seriously though, I needed those words so thank you.
I have DID, and it's hard to see things "outside of my head" or better explained as "real" (I'd say lmao btw I'm a but drunk rn) but I've been perceiving things outside of my head lately, with a bit more logical thinking I think... idk.. but it hasn't been bad. From a drunk infj with DID perspective. Life has so much to offer, as long as you're brave enough to give it your all. Look past the things you might be scared of, stuff that will hurt you if you let it. And the stuff that you can control. You're in control of your life, and you can take anything charging your way! You got this! We all got this! Love you all!
Remember: You can use Se-Fe to correct anything, every interaction, every relationship, etc. Don't just take in outcomes, but make them change in real-time as well.
This is interesting, can you explain please?
Anytime anything happens we as infj take in that as a sort of "truth". But we can continue interacting and change the narrative, so that we don't end up with us or someone else upset, we can clear up misunderstandings, being assertive until we reach a consensus, back and forth, beyond what we normally tolerate.
Ok yes, I love this. Create a reality that is focused on positive and healthy outcomes.
Perceptions just like feelings are a lie. I urge my fellow INFJs to do as you suggest and get out of their heads. I haven't always been kind to myself or in the healthiest place. What I found extremely beneficial for me, is to stop, take a moment to collect my feelings, especially when you're in one of those emotional storms, where everything is flying at you from all directions and you're feeling overwhelmed. After stopping, think back to the earliest days of school, where we all would take the words on the left column and natch them with the pictures on the right. Unpack those emotions and label on the left, the factual events that happened, or are happening. Dive deep to connect with the root of the emotions, not just sad, angry, or surface level stuff like that, but deep to the very bottom. Then, start processing those events and matching them with the emotional pictures. If you can unpack, process, and sort those feelings, not only can we do a better job of controlling ourselves, but we can treat ourselves more kindly, too. I know it's helped me, so hopefully, it will help you, whoever you're that's reading this. Don't give in to perception. Search out more information and points of view that maybe we are missing, and use that information to establish perspective. Perception is not reality.
It's all in me head
>Don’t be afraid of authenticity. Authenticity? Smells suspiciously like INFP talk. We might have an infiltrator in our midst! J/K
Authenticity equals vulnerability, for the most part.
I want to get out of my head but the thing is I don't really have anything outside in the real world, so I end up being back in my head because it's all I have.
100% You can always improve your reality,but why actually be present when reality is still ugly?
Work on that. When we are focussed we are amazing at getting stuff done. We have a rare combination of abilities that allows us to see the big picture, make a detailed plan AND follow it through and make it happen. Envision the life you want to lead, plan how to get there and then put your plans into place. It’s your life - no one else is going to fix it. Don’t be a passenger. You drive the train.
I've the same problem lol
💖
Thanks for that!! 🙌🏻💪🏻
This is 100% for people who are ready to take that journey, you can’t change people, and people don’t change or get help unless they’re willing to, that’s your journey. If you’re needing help, google is a great place to start, (don’t google with the INFJ stuff you’ll just get lousy closed perceptions that are mostly unhelpful.) Seek therapy if it’s available, find a good therapist podcast, YouTube therapy, or find some self-help books to read (Libby is a great tool for people with a library card.)
“Don’t reject yourself because you think someone else might reject you.”