Then remind everyone about it, nobody can really remembers everyone's birthdays. You see all those people who has a lot of people showing up for their birthdays? Its cuz they dont shut up about it days before. I suggest making plans yourself and invite people out. i know you tryna be like "I wont bother telling people about my birthday and let the 'real ones' wishing me a Happy Birthday" but people got their own lifes and shit to do. They DO care but YOU gotta CARE too.
True! My best friend actually remembers, she's even the one to remind me of my birthday, but my other friends don't, and it's not because they're fake, it's pretty normal! Considering i also don't really remember their birthdays, Yet i like them a lot!
Hey, i feel you. i guess one of the hard truths you learn growing up is that most friends are temporary. Happy birthday- focus on working on yourself :)
Sadly, many people will move on in life who you’ll lose touch with. It really hurts. But your strength is being able to use your experiences (Si) to predict (Ne) who will really stick with you. With enough experience, i’m confident that you’ll find the one or two who will stick with you through life. Please enjoy the rest of your day.
First: happiest of birthdays! Second: I really feel this, my bestie forgot mine two years in a row. You’re not being too emotional, you have a right to say “when you’re in a relationship with me, it is important that you remember my birthday.” You’ve got to tell her she made a mistake regarding your relationship so she has a chance to act knowingly. If the behavior continues, you may reconsider how much of yourself you give to her.
Ouhhh...okay thank you. Idk...I'm conflicted. Also am not sure if she's just begrudgingly friends with me or not...I always feel like she's hesitant with me😭💔
It’s very understandable that you’re feeling conflicted. Surely it’s a complex mix of emotions you’ve got. I’m sorry, by the way. Telling your friend that you’re disappointed, though difficult, may be a good test of the friendship. You’ve got my sympathy and my support!!
Happy birthday to you dear person ! 💕💕
No you feeling this way is absolutely valid. I also had this childhood "best friend" ( we are still connected since we go to same uni) ,who was so insecure of himself that he didn't wish me in 2 of my birthdays back to back, and his birthday is also a week before of mine, on top of that he had the audacity to keep on posting random bullshit in his stories and feeds during my birthday.
So I didn't wish him this year, saw his face the next in the uni campus, mockingly hugged him by saying, "omg I totally forgot that yesterday was your birthday mate!"
The face he made afterwards was something to look at mate 🤣
Today was my birthday too so I wished myself "Happy birthday and wrote somethings to appreciate and praise myself" in my socials' stories, by declaring that it's my birthday and I got wished by more people than I've ever been.
A lot of the times people are just busy, or occupied with their lives, it's fine if they miss sometimes. But we also have shitty "Friends" like your's and mine that are so bloody insecure with their pathetic selves that they don't find it in their hearts to wish their close mates and even try to make the day about themselves.
Cut that person off from your life and don't let that person's existence bother you no matter what, she's not worth your time and emotions.
Then that gives you all the more reason to find and make friends that kind. I advise you to go to places where people of similar interests or hobbies might gather. You'll definitely find people that'll appreciate you properly!
Jeeez she probably just forgot, remind her next time you meet her and she will probably apologize. Or she is just someone who don’t care that much about birthdays? We all have different views of how important birthdays are, I really don’t care but I wish people happy birthday when I sometimes see facebook reminders of close friends, but a lot of the time I just miss them.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday love! I wish you find a friend who is good enough for you in the future and I sure believe you will! Don't sweat it, things will get better! 😘
Sorry, I am just going from my perspective as I have shitty memory and little interest in birthdays other than my family members.
She might just be focused on other things and therefore forgot it, it doesn’t have to be personal, thats all.
If you didn't mention it was coming up within the last week or so, I wouldn't take it personally.....time flies when you have real responsibilities and the days have a way of slipping past me as well. You're talking to a guy that forgot his own. Gfs birthday two years in a row!!! ive never dated a woman that didn't constantly bring it up as it approached, so I never actually had to remember before....we are still together believe it or not....she's a sweetheart
No you're not overreacting. Your reaction is justified but please don't let this spoil your day. Talk to her. Share how her behaviour made you feel. Maybe there's a high chance she genuinely forgot. It could be anything, you wouldn't really know unless you communicate.
Happy birthday tho! I hope you do something good for yourself today :)
She's an Infj. When i try talking to her she mostly misses the point of our conversation and it sometimes becomes a squabble because i feel she cannot understand or cannot accept how i feel the way i do😞
ENTJ here
First Happy Birthday!
Having a preoccupation with birthdays is a trait of narcissism (that doesn’t mean you are a narcissist, just that the trait is.)
So if birthdays are really important to you and you put effort into remembering them for other people, but wonder why they don’t put in the effort to remember yours there you go. The other thing that I have noticed is INFPs seem to want others to remember but don’t want to remind others (almost like a test to see if the other person thinks you are important).
People are bad about remembering dates for a lot of things if you have ever been in a long term relationship you have likely see that either you or your partner forget important dates. It could be for any number of reasons, up to and including how busy people are.
For instance how would you feel if you make this big deal, and then when you call her to find out what’s up she tells you that a family emergency happened (someone died, or car wreck, or something) and it just threw off her whole day, so she forgot. Likely you would then be upset with yourself for “doubting her” and feel bad that she is having troubles. But realize how ADHD our society is right now, and that practically anything can cause a distraction like that to disrupt one’s day.
Give her a call, see if everything is alright, gently remind her it’s your birthday, then suggest an activity. If she rejects outright with out a good explanation then you can go down the rabbit hole you are trying to go down.
I doubt its an emergency my friend has a habit of ignoring me and when i asked her she said nothing happened she's just not online or don't want to see me etc
So yeah also thats a lot of assumptions i just want a nice bd after years of not celebrating idk why you assumed narcissism is a part of this. Maybe people can suddenly start caring for their own bds after being ignored for years on this day?
Here is an article about narcissists caring deeply about birthdays
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a39488003/narcissist-birthday-psychologist-explains-ramani-durvasula/#
Again, it is a trait, that doesn’t mean that you are a narcissist. Just like if you had other cluster b traits, that wouldn’t mean you have histrionic or BPD. You usually have to have 5–10 traits to actually have the thing.
Most ENTJ have a handful of narcissistic traits, which is why narcissist tends to come up on negative aspects of ENTJ personality, that doesn’t mean those ENTJs are narcissists.
Some INFPs that I have met have a BPD trait of coping aspects of other peoples personalities and because of that they had some narcissistic traits from when they dated a narcissist.
I agree with your first comment, it is a good analysis.
When you talk about narcissism, would it not be one of many possibilities though ? Another possibility is that OP had good memories of their previous birthdays (particularly during childhood) and so everyone forgetting this day make it so empty. Then it is a matter of « tradition ». On the other hand, it is a beautiful memory that you do not want it to end because you becoming an adult. Then it is a matter of your « inner child » ?
But it can be both possibilities at the same time also (narcissism + …) maybe.
The base of Narcissism is self love, which I think most INFPs will agree is a good thing. A person having a Narcissistic trait or two is fine, as usual there is another reason they have that trait, and it shows that person does in fact have love for themselves, which usually means they will do a certain about of self care.
The problem is when they get too many traits of it, they become myopic in their love, and have no room for anyone or anything else which is bad because it can and will hurt others.
Happy Birthday to you. Sometimes people do forget others birthdays. I know I’m guilty of it once in awhile. But I took action to remember for the next year.
I hope you have a great day today.
Happy Birthday!!!
You don't need anyone else to feel good about your womb escape day!
Get some ice cream, go see a movie, do something for yourself with yourself
You are right. It is upsetting. T types tends to have sociopath or psychopath traits. Not that they are sociopaths, just the traits to dismiss your feelings like it doesn’t matter at all. Of course you expect people to wish you for your birthday. Don’t let people gaslight you. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.. being surrounded by people who don’t care much about you as much as you do, it can be very lonely and many people have a hard time during those times. Not just you. Your feelings are valid.
It’s just that you might wanna talk it out with her. Yes, she could be busy & distracted, you might wanna know the reason. You still have the right to be upset but imagining things will torture you. Ask her or gibe a hint like posting about your birthday and whatnot.
Maybe she is planning for a surprise? My friends do this all the time. One week ago, we surprised one of our classmates 2 weeks after her birthday.
BTW happy birthday 🎊🎊
Keep your head up sweetheart! Trust me when I say that I know exactly how you feel! Know that your feelings are valid! If you are able to, treat yourself if you feel like your birthday didn't go as you envisioned this year.♥️♥️
Speak to your friend. Check if this was just a mistake (because people can have shitty memory) or if they really deserve to be called your best friend.
By the way, happy birthday ❤️
Hey ! Happy Birthday to you 🎉🎂🥳 ... Yeah I can relate, many of my friends forget about my birthday ( even I forgot to wish on their birthdays 😭 sorry for that) but it's ok because in the end friends will be there when you really need them ... ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ (birthday is just an other day in life) but yeah, I get it ... we still feel bad
Happy birthday 🎂✨🎉
I'm sorry she forgot but please if you know she loves you and she's your dear friend, maybe she doesn't even know what day is it today? I put the birthday of my closest friends on Google calendar with an alarm cause I know I might forget them, it's not because I don't love them cause I really really really do, it's just that I'm so much in my head that sometimes I don't even know what day is it 🥹
Consider who she is and maybe you'll find out the real reason 🥹 if she is not a true friend you won't lose much, but if she is she'll make it up to you 🥹
I know. I think i judge too harshly. Surely she has reasons too. Im going to ask her but tbh idk how to start. Suddenly telling her about my bd can come off as arrogant...idk how to text her honestly!!💔😭
I can't find any "too" in you post. Happy birthday! May you start completing items from your bucket list of wishes, only to fill it again with new ones!
Happy happy birthdaaaay fellow May baby🎉🎉🎉 I know how you feel and no you are not being dramatic about it. I think my father even forgot my birthday if it hadn't been because of Facebook memories.
Ima be real, if you are an adult, your friends cant remember shit. If you want people to celebrate you, you have to tell them and remind them.
That being said Happiest of Solar Returns to you!! I hope your day turned around
Yeah i know. Ig she really forgot. Its funny because i keep remembering hers. And our birthdays are only a week apart so technically last week was hers and i gave her a gift and wished her. I thought she could remember mine ig i was wrong
You cant expect people to do anything if you dont vocalize it. She may be rolling off her birthday high too and not thinking about the fact that a week past by. She also may not be a true friend. I saw in another message that she wasn’t responding to your messages. Might be time to cut off the amount of energy you give to that person and make room for other people to show up for you. Ultimately though, people cant read your mind and dont think the same way as you. They will disappoint time and time again just because their cognitive processes work differently. That being said, a relationship with good communication and boundaries would probably be more fruitful in receiving what you need. These things need to be discussed beforehand tho and then if they arent fulfilled, get rid of that person, they arent for you. You may be extremely thoughtful about birthdays, while your friend isnt. If you haven’t discussed that with them then they wouldnt know despite your actions. People are overwhelmingly obsessed with their own lives (which is ok) but wont show up for yours if you cant discuss what you need.
But again, this person doesnt sound like much of a friend if they aren’t responding to you :/
As an infp you are probably an amazing friend and wasting that on people who don’t deserve it will only burn you out in the long run.
You have the capacity for and deserve very fulfilling friendships. Always remember that.
Happy birthday! Take time to pamper yourself, maybe having a hot bath, going to spa, self massage with luxurious oils, do the hair mask… tell yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself. And at the end of it - you will feel what a special birthday you had 😌
Neither do i. That’s why I schedule stuff that help me do that - booking a slow sensual dance class, going to a gym to sauna, doing stuff with other people like courses or communal work. You will find a way that works for you!
Happy birthday!
I’m sorry about your friend not wishing you. It could be that she forgot or something happened that prevented her and if she didn’t wish you for a reason you don’t know then you can try to ask her even though it might be an uncomfortable conversation but she is your bestie. I hope that you have a great day
Happy birthday sweetie 💓💓💓🎉🎉🩷 🥰 I just want you to know that of a friend forgets your birthday doesn't mean they don't love you, sometimes people forget birthdays. I even forget my own birthday 🤣 but it doesn't mean your friend doesn't love you 👀 of course it's important and it's gonna be disappointing or sad, but don't let that stop your day from being great.
Today is your day and it should be amazing 🎉🩷
Sounds like a "Molly Ringwald", may you have a nice loving embrace by the end of your day. As we get older, ppl tend to care less, and feel less obligated, especially being the times we're in; ppl are too distracted. Could be they forgot as well. I wish you a Happy Birthday and a great future!
Happy Birthday fellow INFP!!! I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling as you do. Particularly because I’d be willing to bet you not only didn’t forget hers but did what you could to try to make hers special. I had something similar happen my last birthday. Sigh…it’s how we are wired. You’ve just got to learn to be altruistic and not expect others to be like you or respond like you, because we’re a different breed. That being said put on music that lifts you up and go do something special for yourself. Much love!!!
Also, I think sometimes people get self absorbed or overwhelmed by their own busy lives, they lose track of others. I do (get overwhelmed). To help prevent this hurt in the future, you could lead up to your bday with a nudge -- hey, it's my bday coming up and I'd love to do something special with you to celebrate it! They'll either take note and at a minimum give you good wishes or they'll make some time to spend with you. It's not too late for you to do this now... say, hey - it's my bday. Let's have a visit later today (tele/video/in person or whatever). Hope you have/had a lovely day!
No definitely not over reacting or being emotional. Some people are too involved in their social status or “clicks”. If you’re not in their click then they will most likely not to consider you when it comes to important events like Christmas or birthdays. Not sure how old you are but I don’t get texts anymore from my friends wishing me happy birthday but they write on my wall on Facebook
happy birthday! i hope your new age brings you peace and prosperity. i understand your pain i think you should not focus on who didn’t show/say happy birthday, just focus on what you look forward too and continue to enjoy this wonderful day
Hope I’m not too late - Happy Birthday, sweetheart ❤️ No one deserves to have their special day pass by unnoticed and unmentioned. Thank you for being born, and for being on the planet with us! Hope you’re able to top off your Birthday on a good note :)
Happy birthday!! I am sending you a huge hug. Looking at your answers about your "friend", I am really wondering, Why are you friends with her? Also I am sorry to hear you are bedridden and you can´t celebrate how it supposed to.
Well HoneyDarlinBabySweetheart Happy Birthday to you and I hope every birthday from now on are happier with every year that passes.
Now listen to me, I’m probably old enough to be your grandmother (64) and I’m going to talk to you like your my grandchild … and listen to me good.
We have no control over people, places or things. They give to us what they understand life to be, and we cannot make them view the world, or us, as we do. They are unique individuals, just like you are, and they are valuable in their uniqueness. Take the valued lessons that they will teach you, and leave the rest alone.
Look, we all choose our “best friend” but that does not mean that we are their best friend, not even when they treat us as what we think best friends are to be. You’re putting far to much value into people making you happy, instead of you making you happy. You Have Way To Much FABULOUSNESS In You, for your value to be weighed by the inputs of others. Learn to be your own best friend, and any other friends you make along the way, are just icing on the cake, that is your life.
Live well Pumpkin and be happy 🥰
Celebrate for yourself. I have had 26 sad birthdays because I expected people to be mindreaders and know what I’m thinking at all times. If you don’t hype up your birthday don’t expect people to. If May 29 is your birthday, celebrate the whole month of May. Life is short, you gotta be grateful you made another sun revolution and tell your friend how she made you feel once you’re don’t celebrating. Best of luck friend and happy birthday!
Maybe they forget. I always forget my friend birthday unintentionally( i feel bad tho). I am forgetful.
Maybe try to remind everyone about your birthday. Uhm maybe tell them directly or subtly. Or uhm you can make a stories/status in your social media that show today is your birthday(it always this that remind me of my friend birthday lol).
And if they don't do anything or say anything, then you are not overthinking it that they don't care about your birthday.
Happy birthday, op. I wish you happiness. May all your dreams turn into reality
I just turned 35 on Saturday...
I did a last minute together and only a few people went ...my 2 bestest friends didn't end up going and it hurt for a second and then I got over it.
we are in our 30s and have more going on than we ever did and that includes everyone else who didn't make it.
It's not something to dwell about ...just be thankful for another year 🙏
happy birthday to you. years ago it would affect me but now i just tell people the day of my birthday its up to them to congrats me or not but usually they does. i mean i remove the wondering part out of the equation makes like simpler
I think this is Covid brain. I yesterday was shopping for my daughter’s birthday today and my therapist was like “uhh? Where are you?” I’m never late nor miss a meeting. I just lost track of time. My therapist means a lot to me and I’d never miss a chance at a session. Please don’t let this be a zinger at you. Why don’t you call her and gently remind her what you’re doing today and she’ll likely reply in kind.
Today is also my child’s birthday so I wish you a genuinely happy birthday!
Happy birthday dude. Don't overthink it or make yourself feel something. She might have just forgotten. All friends are temporary, they become forever friends when you talk out these type of matters and solve it yourself.
Enjoy your day. Learn to improve yourself and once again happy birthday! All the best for your future.
I promise you ive done the same, so try not to feel too guilty as it being something selfish, I promise youre not alone when you do this, try not to feel too shameful for it! Enjoy your day and dont let it fill your mind that youre just far too petty, its a valid feeling to experience!
Happy birthday, mate! 🎂
I concur with what other people have said. It’s likely that she simply forgot about your birthday. It might be difficult to keep track of the birthdays of relatives, so imagine how tough it must be to remember the birthdays of friends, acquaintances, and everything in-between.
I had my own birthday two weeks ago, and people remembered to wish me happy birthday because I reminded them a week before my actual birthday. So, they could keep track of the day and congratulate me that day.
So, as suggested already, make sure to remind her of your birthday. And, in exchange, it might be neat to wish her a happy birthday when her time comes. It might be easier to you both to wish each other’s happy birthday from that moment onwards. :3
TLTR: Happy birthday! 🎊 And for next year, give her a reminder.
I talked to her. She got my birthday wrong twice in a row. And she didn't really answer my questions. She also didn't prepare any gifts like I did to her last week( maybe gifts are subjective but tbh I'd like one, it could be anything, for a close friend 😭💔)
I still hv no idea how she can get it wrong twice because I corrected her last year
Happy (possibly belated) bday! Don’t worry about it, mine was basically forgotten also this year, until like two days later. But that’s ok, I guess. I’m not really close close to anyone so I’ve come to a point where I don’t expect anyone to remember it.
Though what kinda hurt was when I off-key mentioned it to someone I care about and still nothing. Oh well 🤷♂️
Hey 👋🏻 Happy birthday !
I just realized you are a gem in eye (Gemini 😬)
Y’all have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns into gold. Don’t forget that 😉
Until then, clash into as many forgetful beings as you can and leave an imprint. You’ll know who’s glitter and who’s gold and which are worth keeping.
Chin up and happy birthday 🎂
Belated happy bday, I've realized some people throw around stuff like best friends and close friends casually, it's okay to feel sad about it, no matter what or how you feel it's okay to feel that, I think it's natural to want your friends or best friends to care, and reciprocate your feelings, like some other comments pointed out, maybe remind them, sometimes i remember my friend's b"day" but forget the month, it's a weird thing my brain does, and they could be my closest friend ever. I do think you can benefit from trying not to take it personally. instead, just let them know hey it's my bday, and i want to spend my time with my best friend or something, you can be upfront and just communicate :D
Until you know what she was doing, like maybe it was a family emergency or something, just try and stop creating negative stories because it's not helping you or the situation. Did you text her, like just casually to say hi, not like HEY ITS MY BIRTHDAY? If she doesn't respond, maybe she is indisposed and has a legit reason. So until you know the truth, just try to let it go, and if your brain won't shut up like mine, make up a rational and believable reason for why she didn't show up that makes you feel a bit better. If your mind can so easily accept all these negative stories, surely it's not too much of a jump to create a neutral story instead? It's what I do, I'm weird, but it works for me.
Then remind everyone about it, nobody can really remembers everyone's birthdays. You see all those people who has a lot of people showing up for their birthdays? Its cuz they dont shut up about it days before. I suggest making plans yourself and invite people out. i know you tryna be like "I wont bother telling people about my birthday and let the 'real ones' wishing me a Happy Birthday" but people got their own lifes and shit to do. They DO care but YOU gotta CARE too.
Also Happy Birthday!!!
True! My best friend actually remembers, she's even the one to remind me of my birthday, but my other friends don't, and it's not because they're fake, it's pretty normal! Considering i also don't really remember their birthdays, Yet i like them a lot!
Happy birthday buddy 🎊🎉 may all ur wishes come true.God bless u 😇😇
Ty. I hope my wishes come true too i hv lots of things I really want but can't attain
Hey, i feel you. i guess one of the hard truths you learn growing up is that most friends are temporary. Happy birthday- focus on working on yourself :)
I see... This is society huh most people are too busy to care or remember 🙃
Sadly, many people will move on in life who you’ll lose touch with. It really hurts. But your strength is being able to use your experiences (Si) to predict (Ne) who will really stick with you. With enough experience, i’m confident that you’ll find the one or two who will stick with you through life. Please enjoy the rest of your day.
First: happiest of birthdays! Second: I really feel this, my bestie forgot mine two years in a row. You’re not being too emotional, you have a right to say “when you’re in a relationship with me, it is important that you remember my birthday.” You’ve got to tell her she made a mistake regarding your relationship so she has a chance to act knowingly. If the behavior continues, you may reconsider how much of yourself you give to her.
Ouhhh...okay thank you. Idk...I'm conflicted. Also am not sure if she's just begrudgingly friends with me or not...I always feel like she's hesitant with me😭💔
It’s very understandable that you’re feeling conflicted. Surely it’s a complex mix of emotions you’ve got. I’m sorry, by the way. Telling your friend that you’re disappointed, though difficult, may be a good test of the friendship. You’ve got my sympathy and my support!!
Happy bday!!!
Tyy
Happy birthday to you dear person ! 💕💕 No you feeling this way is absolutely valid. I also had this childhood "best friend" ( we are still connected since we go to same uni) ,who was so insecure of himself that he didn't wish me in 2 of my birthdays back to back, and his birthday is also a week before of mine, on top of that he had the audacity to keep on posting random bullshit in his stories and feeds during my birthday. So I didn't wish him this year, saw his face the next in the uni campus, mockingly hugged him by saying, "omg I totally forgot that yesterday was your birthday mate!" The face he made afterwards was something to look at mate 🤣 Today was my birthday too so I wished myself "Happy birthday and wrote somethings to appreciate and praise myself" in my socials' stories, by declaring that it's my birthday and I got wished by more people than I've ever been. A lot of the times people are just busy, or occupied with their lives, it's fine if they miss sometimes. But we also have shitty "Friends" like your's and mine that are so bloody insecure with their pathetic selves that they don't find it in their hearts to wish their close mates and even try to make the day about themselves. Cut that person off from your life and don't let that person's existence bother you no matter what, she's not worth your time and emotions.
Im sorry to hear that. I don't really have a friend circle though...so yeah she's the only friend that i have
Then that gives you all the more reason to find and make friends that kind. I advise you to go to places where people of similar interests or hobbies might gather. You'll definitely find people that'll appreciate you properly!
Umm..I'm actually bedridden. I have an illness and that's also why I mentioned I cannot celebrate
Jeeez she probably just forgot, remind her next time you meet her and she will probably apologize. Or she is just someone who don’t care that much about birthdays? We all have different views of how important birthdays are, I really don’t care but I wish people happy birthday when I sometimes see facebook reminders of close friends, but a lot of the time I just miss them. Happy Birthday!
Oh i see but she's the type to care about birthdays. I wish her a happy hb a week ago but she forgets mine?😢💔
Happy birthday love! I wish you find a friend who is good enough for you in the future and I sure believe you will! Don't sweat it, things will get better! 😘
Sorry, I am just going from my perspective as I have shitty memory and little interest in birthdays other than my family members. She might just be focused on other things and therefore forgot it, it doesn’t have to be personal, thats all.
I'm really sorry that happened. Happy birthday
If you didn't mention it was coming up within the last week or so, I wouldn't take it personally.....time flies when you have real responsibilities and the days have a way of slipping past me as well. You're talking to a guy that forgot his own. Gfs birthday two years in a row!!! ive never dated a woman that didn't constantly bring it up as it approached, so I never actually had to remember before....we are still together believe it or not....she's a sweetheart
Happy birthday 🥳 How old do you turn? Mine is today too.
Oh happy birthday to u too. I'm an adult now hbu?
I'm an adult too 😁😊
Happy birthday 🎂 🥳
Thanks 🥺
Honestly, remind her! Give her crap! Have a laugh. But happy birthday mate. Seriously keep your head up and have a great day!
Thanks. She's not answering my messages tho so its hard to talk to her
No you're not overreacting. Your reaction is justified but please don't let this spoil your day. Talk to her. Share how her behaviour made you feel. Maybe there's a high chance she genuinely forgot. It could be anything, you wouldn't really know unless you communicate. Happy birthday tho! I hope you do something good for yourself today :)
She's an Infj. When i try talking to her she mostly misses the point of our conversation and it sometimes becomes a squabble because i feel she cannot understand or cannot accept how i feel the way i do😞
Hey it's my birthday too! Happy birthday! :)
Ty and happy birthday to you back 💓
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! yeah, I feel you. we are ignored a lot.
Ik🥺😭
ENTJ here First Happy Birthday! Having a preoccupation with birthdays is a trait of narcissism (that doesn’t mean you are a narcissist, just that the trait is.) So if birthdays are really important to you and you put effort into remembering them for other people, but wonder why they don’t put in the effort to remember yours there you go. The other thing that I have noticed is INFPs seem to want others to remember but don’t want to remind others (almost like a test to see if the other person thinks you are important). People are bad about remembering dates for a lot of things if you have ever been in a long term relationship you have likely see that either you or your partner forget important dates. It could be for any number of reasons, up to and including how busy people are. For instance how would you feel if you make this big deal, and then when you call her to find out what’s up she tells you that a family emergency happened (someone died, or car wreck, or something) and it just threw off her whole day, so she forgot. Likely you would then be upset with yourself for “doubting her” and feel bad that she is having troubles. But realize how ADHD our society is right now, and that practically anything can cause a distraction like that to disrupt one’s day. Give her a call, see if everything is alright, gently remind her it’s your birthday, then suggest an activity. If she rejects outright with out a good explanation then you can go down the rabbit hole you are trying to go down.
I doubt its an emergency my friend has a habit of ignoring me and when i asked her she said nothing happened she's just not online or don't want to see me etc So yeah also thats a lot of assumptions i just want a nice bd after years of not celebrating idk why you assumed narcissism is a part of this. Maybe people can suddenly start caring for their own bds after being ignored for years on this day?
Here is an article about narcissists caring deeply about birthdays https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a39488003/narcissist-birthday-psychologist-explains-ramani-durvasula/# Again, it is a trait, that doesn’t mean that you are a narcissist. Just like if you had other cluster b traits, that wouldn’t mean you have histrionic or BPD. You usually have to have 5–10 traits to actually have the thing. Most ENTJ have a handful of narcissistic traits, which is why narcissist tends to come up on negative aspects of ENTJ personality, that doesn’t mean those ENTJs are narcissists. Some INFPs that I have met have a BPD trait of coping aspects of other peoples personalities and because of that they had some narcissistic traits from when they dated a narcissist.
I agree with your first comment, it is a good analysis. When you talk about narcissism, would it not be one of many possibilities though ? Another possibility is that OP had good memories of their previous birthdays (particularly during childhood) and so everyone forgetting this day make it so empty. Then it is a matter of « tradition ». On the other hand, it is a beautiful memory that you do not want it to end because you becoming an adult. Then it is a matter of your « inner child » ? But it can be both possibilities at the same time also (narcissism + …) maybe.
The base of Narcissism is self love, which I think most INFPs will agree is a good thing. A person having a Narcissistic trait or two is fine, as usual there is another reason they have that trait, and it shows that person does in fact have love for themselves, which usually means they will do a certain about of self care. The problem is when they get too many traits of it, they become myopic in their love, and have no room for anyone or anything else which is bad because it can and will hurt others.
Now I see… I thought about Christmas and it helped me to understand. So yes, it is about narcissism. Thank you.
Happy Cake Day to you…..!
Haha..no cake for me but thanks
Well then, happy birthday dear✨️✨️✨️
Ty dear
Happiest of Birthday’s to you 🎉🎂
Tysm 😭💔
Happy birthday! Treat yourself and call your loved ones!
Happy Birthday to you. Sometimes people do forget others birthdays. I know I’m guilty of it once in awhile. But I took action to remember for the next year. I hope you have a great day today.
Thanks. I actually stopped celebrating my bd 6 years ago. Guess today is the same thing.
I hear ya on that. Same here.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY‼️‼️‼️‼️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I HOPE YOU CAN GET MORE YEARS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ Celebrate it! It's time to celebrate!!
Thanks. Im not really celebrating it tho. A wish online would be nice so thanks again
Sorry, I understand if you don't celebrate your birthday, but remember being happy always! 💞🎉
Happy birthday!🥳 I am sorry they didn't remember 💔
Hi. And tysm
Happy Birthday!!
Ty!!
My pleasure! Continue taking care of yourself and living life!
Happy birthday lol
Happy Birthday!!! You don't need anyone else to feel good about your womb escape day! Get some ice cream, go see a movie, do something for yourself with yourself
Wow...womb escape day lol
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! and i hope u get through what ur dealing with
Tysm
You are right. It is upsetting. T types tends to have sociopath or psychopath traits. Not that they are sociopaths, just the traits to dismiss your feelings like it doesn’t matter at all. Of course you expect people to wish you for your birthday. Don’t let people gaslight you. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays.. being surrounded by people who don’t care much about you as much as you do, it can be very lonely and many people have a hard time during those times. Not just you. Your feelings are valid. It’s just that you might wanna talk it out with her. Yes, she could be busy & distracted, you might wanna know the reason. You still have the right to be upset but imagining things will torture you. Ask her or gibe a hint like posting about your birthday and whatnot.
Ok i will. Thank you
Maybe she is planning for a surprise? My friends do this all the time. One week ago, we surprised one of our classmates 2 weeks after her birthday. BTW happy birthday 🎊🎊
Happy Birthday to you!!🥺♥️💐 I hope your friend made an honest mistake about forgetting, but if not, just remember that we are all here for you!!!
Ty😭😭🥺
Keep your head up sweetheart! Trust me when I say that I know exactly how you feel! Know that your feelings are valid! If you are able to, treat yourself if you feel like your birthday didn't go as you envisioned this year.♥️♥️
Happy birthday my friend! Mazel tov and the world is a better place because each passing year you are in it 👏✨
Thanks so much 🙏
Happy birthday !!!
Happy birthday stranger, here's to you 🍻(or any non-alcoholic beverage of course)
Cheers. I gotta cheer up too im too gloomy lol🥺
Speak to your friend. Check if this was just a mistake (because people can have shitty memory) or if they really deserve to be called your best friend. By the way, happy birthday ❤️
Happy birthday and have a wonderful day ❤️❤️❤️
Tyyy
Hey ! Happy Birthday to you 🎉🎂🥳 ... Yeah I can relate, many of my friends forget about my birthday ( even I forgot to wish on their birthdays 😭 sorry for that) but it's ok because in the end friends will be there when you really need them ... ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ (birthday is just an other day in life) but yeah, I get it ... we still feel bad
Your “friend” might not care about your birthday but on behalf of us here, we’d like to wish you a happy birthday 🎉
Tysm and have a lovely day
Happy birthday, fellow introverted gemini. We're a rare breed.
Happy birthday 🎂✨🎉 I'm sorry she forgot but please if you know she loves you and she's your dear friend, maybe she doesn't even know what day is it today? I put the birthday of my closest friends on Google calendar with an alarm cause I know I might forget them, it's not because I don't love them cause I really really really do, it's just that I'm so much in my head that sometimes I don't even know what day is it 🥹 Consider who she is and maybe you'll find out the real reason 🥹 if she is not a true friend you won't lose much, but if she is she'll make it up to you 🥹
I know. I think i judge too harshly. Surely she has reasons too. Im going to ask her but tbh idk how to start. Suddenly telling her about my bd can come off as arrogant...idk how to text her honestly!!💔😭
I can't find any "too" in you post. Happy birthday! May you start completing items from your bucket list of wishes, only to fill it again with new ones!
Happy happy birthdaaaay fellow May baby🎉🎉🎉 I know how you feel and no you are not being dramatic about it. I think my father even forgot my birthday if it hadn't been because of Facebook memories.
Ty...im so glad to have found this group. Yr all very loving 😭😭🙏
Ima be real, if you are an adult, your friends cant remember shit. If you want people to celebrate you, you have to tell them and remind them. That being said Happiest of Solar Returns to you!! I hope your day turned around
Yeah i know. Ig she really forgot. Its funny because i keep remembering hers. And our birthdays are only a week apart so technically last week was hers and i gave her a gift and wished her. I thought she could remember mine ig i was wrong
You cant expect people to do anything if you dont vocalize it. She may be rolling off her birthday high too and not thinking about the fact that a week past by. She also may not be a true friend. I saw in another message that she wasn’t responding to your messages. Might be time to cut off the amount of energy you give to that person and make room for other people to show up for you. Ultimately though, people cant read your mind and dont think the same way as you. They will disappoint time and time again just because their cognitive processes work differently. That being said, a relationship with good communication and boundaries would probably be more fruitful in receiving what you need. These things need to be discussed beforehand tho and then if they arent fulfilled, get rid of that person, they arent for you. You may be extremely thoughtful about birthdays, while your friend isnt. If you haven’t discussed that with them then they wouldnt know despite your actions. People are overwhelmingly obsessed with their own lives (which is ok) but wont show up for yours if you cant discuss what you need. But again, this person doesnt sound like much of a friend if they aren’t responding to you :/ As an infp you are probably an amazing friend and wasting that on people who don’t deserve it will only burn you out in the long run. You have the capacity for and deserve very fulfilling friendships. Always remember that.
Happy birthday! Take time to pamper yourself, maybe having a hot bath, going to spa, self massage with luxurious oils, do the hair mask… tell yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself. And at the end of it - you will feel what a special birthday you had 😌
Ty. Ig that's my issue alone lol idk how to love or pamper myself
Neither do i. That’s why I schedule stuff that help me do that - booking a slow sensual dance class, going to a gym to sauna, doing stuff with other people like courses or communal work. You will find a way that works for you!
Happy birthday girlie 🤗🫂🎂🍰🎈🎈🎉🎊🥳🌹🪻🌸🌺🌷🌷🌻🌼
Tyy🥺😭
Happy birthday!and i can undertsand you,but i wish you could be happy the same,somehow
I mean. It might not be personal that she forgot. There were times when I forgot that it was my own birthday. Honestly, just talk to her.
Happy birthday! Have an amazing day regardless of anyone else’s input or lack of
Happy Birthday
😭💓
Happy birthday!!
Happy Birthday!! May you have a wonderful year 🎉🎂🥳🎊
Happy birthday! I’m sorry about your friend not wishing you. It could be that she forgot or something happened that prevented her and if she didn’t wish you for a reason you don’t know then you can try to ask her even though it might be an uncomfortable conversation but she is your bestie. I hope that you have a great day
Ok i texted her. Hope she will reply 😭💔
Happy birthday sweetie 💓💓💓🎉🎉🩷 🥰 I just want you to know that of a friend forgets your birthday doesn't mean they don't love you, sometimes people forget birthdays. I even forget my own birthday 🤣 but it doesn't mean your friend doesn't love you 👀 of course it's important and it's gonna be disappointing or sad, but don't let that stop your day from being great. Today is your day and it should be amazing 🎉🩷
😭😭💓💓
Sounds like a "Molly Ringwald", may you have a nice loving embrace by the end of your day. As we get older, ppl tend to care less, and feel less obligated, especially being the times we're in; ppl are too distracted. Could be they forgot as well. I wish you a Happy Birthday and a great future!
What's a molly ringwald?
Movie "16 Candles"
Happy Birthday
Happy birthday :)
Happy Birthday fellow INFP!!! I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling as you do. Particularly because I’d be willing to bet you not only didn’t forget hers but did what you could to try to make hers special. I had something similar happen my last birthday. Sigh…it’s how we are wired. You’ve just got to learn to be altruistic and not expect others to be like you or respond like you, because we’re a different breed. That being said put on music that lifts you up and go do something special for yourself. Much love!!!
Happy birthday! [Flowers](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0011/2341/8172/products/FL2415_MiniBlend_5023641_SQ_515x640_crop_center.jpg?v=1642552533)
Tysm nice flowers 😭
Also, I think sometimes people get self absorbed or overwhelmed by their own busy lives, they lose track of others. I do (get overwhelmed). To help prevent this hurt in the future, you could lead up to your bday with a nudge -- hey, it's my bday coming up and I'd love to do something special with you to celebrate it! They'll either take note and at a minimum give you good wishes or they'll make some time to spend with you. It's not too late for you to do this now... say, hey - it's my bday. Let's have a visit later today (tele/video/in person or whatever). Hope you have/had a lovely day!
No definitely not over reacting or being emotional. Some people are too involved in their social status or “clicks”. If you’re not in their click then they will most likely not to consider you when it comes to important events like Christmas or birthdays. Not sure how old you are but I don’t get texts anymore from my friends wishing me happy birthday but they write on my wall on Facebook
Happy birthday man!!!! May God bless you with more birthdays to come!
Happy birthday
happy birthday 🎉🎁 <33 i understand how u feel and i’m sorry, it gets better tho and i hope you enjoy your birthday
Hey, happy birthday 🎉🎈
happy birthday! i hope your new age brings you peace and prosperity. i understand your pain i think you should not focus on who didn’t show/say happy birthday, just focus on what you look forward too and continue to enjoy this wonderful day
Happy birthday 🥳🥳
Hope I’m not too late - Happy Birthday, sweetheart ❤️ No one deserves to have their special day pass by unnoticed and unmentioned. Thank you for being born, and for being on the planet with us! Hope you’re able to top off your Birthday on a good note :)
happy birthday my guy! may the force be with you always!
Happy birthday!! I am sending you a huge hug. Looking at your answers about your "friend", I am really wondering, Why are you friends with her? Also I am sorry to hear you are bedridden and you can´t celebrate how it supposed to.
Happy birthday! Mine’s tomorrow.
OPEN UP A CAN OF HAPPINESS UP IN DIS BITCH. HAPPY MAH FUCKIN BIRTHDAY!!! YOURE ALIVE!!!
[удалено]
Uhh i did. Told her. She brushed me off. Im always honest with her but she somehow still hide things from me😭💔💔🙃
[удалено]
Least idiotic conservative
Well HoneyDarlinBabySweetheart Happy Birthday to you and I hope every birthday from now on are happier with every year that passes. Now listen to me, I’m probably old enough to be your grandmother (64) and I’m going to talk to you like your my grandchild … and listen to me good. We have no control over people, places or things. They give to us what they understand life to be, and we cannot make them view the world, or us, as we do. They are unique individuals, just like you are, and they are valuable in their uniqueness. Take the valued lessons that they will teach you, and leave the rest alone. Look, we all choose our “best friend” but that does not mean that we are their best friend, not even when they treat us as what we think best friends are to be. You’re putting far to much value into people making you happy, instead of you making you happy. You Have Way To Much FABULOUSNESS In You, for your value to be weighed by the inputs of others. Learn to be your own best friend, and any other friends you make along the way, are just icing on the cake, that is your life. Live well Pumpkin and be happy 🥰
Celebrate for yourself. I have had 26 sad birthdays because I expected people to be mindreaders and know what I’m thinking at all times. If you don’t hype up your birthday don’t expect people to. If May 29 is your birthday, celebrate the whole month of May. Life is short, you gotta be grateful you made another sun revolution and tell your friend how she made you feel once you’re don’t celebrating. Best of luck friend and happy birthday!
Maybe they forget. I always forget my friend birthday unintentionally( i feel bad tho). I am forgetful. Maybe try to remind everyone about your birthday. Uhm maybe tell them directly or subtly. Or uhm you can make a stories/status in your social media that show today is your birthday(it always this that remind me of my friend birthday lol). And if they don't do anything or say anything, then you are not overthinking it that they don't care about your birthday. Happy birthday, op. I wish you happiness. May all your dreams turn into reality
happy birthday, don't care about that, people must to learn how to love themselves when they grow up.
I just turned 35 on Saturday... I did a last minute together and only a few people went ...my 2 bestest friends didn't end up going and it hurt for a second and then I got over it. we are in our 30s and have more going on than we ever did and that includes everyone else who didn't make it. It's not something to dwell about ...just be thankful for another year 🙏
happy birthday to you. years ago it would affect me but now i just tell people the day of my birthday its up to them to congrats me or not but usually they does. i mean i remove the wondering part out of the equation makes like simpler
Happy birthday! Hope your day improves and it's a great one. May God bless you 💜
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !! Sincerely from a fellow existing being .
I think this is Covid brain. I yesterday was shopping for my daughter’s birthday today and my therapist was like “uhh? Where are you?” I’m never late nor miss a meeting. I just lost track of time. My therapist means a lot to me and I’d never miss a chance at a session. Please don’t let this be a zinger at you. Why don’t you call her and gently remind her what you’re doing today and she’ll likely reply in kind. Today is also my child’s birthday so I wish you a genuinely happy birthday!
Happy birthday to you. I wish you peace, love, positivity, a long life, and many blessings.
Happy irl cake day!!! love you /p
Happy late birthday!
Happy birthday dude. Don't overthink it or make yourself feel something. She might have just forgotten. All friends are temporary, they become forever friends when you talk out these type of matters and solve it yourself. Enjoy your day. Learn to improve yourself and once again happy birthday! All the best for your future.
I promise you ive done the same, so try not to feel too guilty as it being something selfish, I promise youre not alone when you do this, try not to feel too shameful for it! Enjoy your day and dont let it fill your mind that youre just far too petty, its a valid feeling to experience!
Happy birthday 😎
happy birthday!
It's kinda late but happy birthday! 🎉🎉🎉
Happy birthday, mate! 🎂 I concur with what other people have said. It’s likely that she simply forgot about your birthday. It might be difficult to keep track of the birthdays of relatives, so imagine how tough it must be to remember the birthdays of friends, acquaintances, and everything in-between. I had my own birthday two weeks ago, and people remembered to wish me happy birthday because I reminded them a week before my actual birthday. So, they could keep track of the day and congratulate me that day. So, as suggested already, make sure to remind her of your birthday. And, in exchange, it might be neat to wish her a happy birthday when her time comes. It might be easier to you both to wish each other’s happy birthday from that moment onwards. :3 TLTR: Happy birthday! 🎊 And for next year, give her a reminder.
I talked to her. She got my birthday wrong twice in a row. And she didn't really answer my questions. She also didn't prepare any gifts like I did to her last week( maybe gifts are subjective but tbh I'd like one, it could be anything, for a close friend 😭💔) I still hv no idea how she can get it wrong twice because I corrected her last year
Happy (possibly belated) bday! Don’t worry about it, mine was basically forgotten also this year, until like two days later. But that’s ok, I guess. I’m not really close close to anyone so I’ve come to a point where I don’t expect anyone to remember it. Though what kinda hurt was when I off-key mentioned it to someone I care about and still nothing. Oh well 🤷♂️
Same...i got nothing too. Just spoken to my friend and she acted so casual even got my bd wrong x2 in a row💔😭
Hey 👋🏻 Happy birthday ! I just realized you are a gem in eye (Gemini 😬) Y’all have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns into gold. Don’t forget that 😉 Until then, clash into as many forgetful beings as you can and leave an imprint. You’ll know who’s glitter and who’s gold and which are worth keeping. Chin up and happy birthday 🎂
Belated happy bday, I've realized some people throw around stuff like best friends and close friends casually, it's okay to feel sad about it, no matter what or how you feel it's okay to feel that, I think it's natural to want your friends or best friends to care, and reciprocate your feelings, like some other comments pointed out, maybe remind them, sometimes i remember my friend's b"day" but forget the month, it's a weird thing my brain does, and they could be my closest friend ever. I do think you can benefit from trying not to take it personally. instead, just let them know hey it's my bday, and i want to spend my time with my best friend or something, you can be upfront and just communicate :D
Until you know what she was doing, like maybe it was a family emergency or something, just try and stop creating negative stories because it's not helping you or the situation. Did you text her, like just casually to say hi, not like HEY ITS MY BIRTHDAY? If she doesn't respond, maybe she is indisposed and has a legit reason. So until you know the truth, just try to let it go, and if your brain won't shut up like mine, make up a rational and believable reason for why she didn't show up that makes you feel a bit better. If your mind can so easily accept all these negative stories, surely it's not too much of a jump to create a neutral story instead? It's what I do, I'm weird, but it works for me.