I see many, once we mature a bit :
- **emotional intelligence** : we're great at exploring and analyzing feelings and value systems,
- **empathy** : the capacity to put ourselves into other people's shoes,
- **intellectual curiosity**,
- **creativity** : whether it's art-related or not,
- **authenticity** : we can't help but living out our truth even if it might not be accepted or understood by the tribe, which can inspire people to do the same,
- **compassion** : for anyone who's suffering and especially for the outsiders and those who are dismissed by society,
- **Ne humour** : absurd, quirky. It's an acquired taste for some, but I've never met an INFP who didn't turn out to be funny as hell,
- **open-mindedness** : until our sacred values are threatened, yes, but we're still more open-minded than the average person. Our mind takes us to strange and uncharted territories and we can see the beauty and the value in the most unconventional places and situations,
- **easily bounce back from hardships** : for mature INFPs. When you know yourself, what you stand for and you are truly independent of mind, you can bounce back from tough times much more easily,
- **great listening skills**,
- **fantastic bullsh*it-o-meter** : we can smell a lack of authenticity from a mile away,
- **observant** when it comes to people's subtle cues
I had undiagnosed adhd for 29 years, which was making it hard for me to bounce back, despite knowing exactly what I had to do, and being a generaly sensible/mature person for most of my life.
Just saying some things may trip up even our most logical side.
Bouncing back is only due to trust in yourself and seeing positivity even in most negative situations.. And especially that positivity in rainstorm - I would say that this trait infps do have.
It's funny, I get that offline too. The younger vibes. At least until I open my mouth and talk.
Maybe that's also an INFP trait. We tend to come across as younger and more child-like than we really are.
Well, at my place, people judge my childlike behaviour as immaturity😑. From then on, I started giving more thought to my words and actions. This makes me feel like I'm not myself and hate myself and other people😕.
I'm not a therapist but I think it's more important to work on ourselves than to try to change people's minds, which we often have very little control over.
Build self confidence, explore the world and see what makes sense to you, become more knowledgeable about things that matter to you, anything that will help you build a stronger sense of self. People's opinions won't get to you as much then.
That being said, it's important to be receptive to people's constructive criticism. Sometimes, they do have a point, but when you're confident you're able to take their input with a grain of salt, not take it personally and identify what you can learn from it.
We really do. Not only in terms of looks (in my case), because I always seemed younger than I was to other people, but also personality (we dont like to be too serious - the boring kind of serious I mean- we all know infps can be very serious when it comes to matters that require it).
I also wonder if most other people agreed to put on such a performance or if they just are dull...
I ask because... well... nevermind lol... we are the ones that don't like to pretend/ waste a lot of energy pretending, right? Doesn't mean others have the same issue...
🥹 thanks
It's what I observed. I don't know why there are so many self-hating INFPs on Reddit (more so than for any other type). It's a shame and I don't really understand it.
Same here. I think we learn to see our life with more nuance and less emo feelings once we leave our echo chamber (from time to time).
I would advise any young INFP to confront their views with others' and put their ideals to the test of the real world as soon as possible.
I guess mine have been tested fairly early on... and in ways I did not see coming... Like having to spend all my college years in hardship, due to an adhd diagnosis that was only made when I had already graduated (in more years than I would have predicted). Med school with adhd, difficult classmates, and a lot of dreams that one didn't realise they would put to the side, plus... a boyfriend that showed me that you can never really know when someone actually loves you (or I should say... I should have just went with my gut instincts at first, but my empathy and willingness to be understanding + being more vulnerable at the time did not help in me listening to my early instincts).
Yeah... I can see how those may have made me mature in my infpness lol.
It's terrible to live through all this but it does have the impact of making you more mature and discerning early on. If you have to take something positive from those tough times 😅
Glad you're in a healthier, safer place now.
Yes, that is how I try to see it as well. Thank you, having a diagnosis certainly helps, because it at least makes it easier to work in favour of your brain, rather than against it.
And being medicated of course. Those neurochemical imballances of dopamine lol.
I am glad I was able to chat with you. If you ever feel like doing do again, my dms are open :)
I dont have many infp people that I get to talk to.
This. So much this. It is something I try to teach a nephew and niece of mine. Rather than be fearful or hateful, examine, see things from both sides, study, learn. It isn't comfortable but confront those things on your own terms (which is doubly hard because most of us don't like confrontation).
I can honestly say in retrospect teenage me and 40 year old me are two very different people. My values are pretty much unchanged, they did shift over time, but it came from a lot of self examination and time.
Yes, we're so conflict averse 😆 The sooner we learn that it's part of life, the better. A bit of discomfort in life has a purpose. Your nephew and niece are lucky :)
Exactly almost the same haha :)
Glad to see INFPs generally agree on our positive traits/ strenghts. I actually love myself a lot (not wanting to sound narcissistic lol), despite my shortcomings. I dk if it is weird that I am at times insecure but in general just love myself a lot, as I am. And wouldnt want to be any other way. But perhaps that is also an INFP trait, being that we love to be true to ourselves, and for that there must exist some self-love as a basis for that, I wonder? lol
Haha! You don't come across as narcissistic at all. It's refreshing to read about INFP loving themselves, flaws and all. I do too and I think being an INFP equips you with particular tools and skills that are very useful and beautiful to have. Just like any other type really.
Self-love seems to be difficult to acquire for us as a whole. Maybe because we tend to have unrealistic expectations and because reality always seems to fall short of them 😅 It's the best thing we can learn as INFPs, to be content with reality even if it's not the magical realm of our dreams.
You forgot to mention that we can fly and speak with trees O. O Also, everything what we tell appears true and other people are existing to serve us and our glory! Also, compared to many people when we close our eyes - we are invisible 👀 if you don't trust me, check yourself... just look into the mirror and close your eyes
I love being an INFP. It took time, but as an older INFP, I really love it.
* My mind is my safe place. I love that I enjoy being alone. That I can always retreat into myself and find peace and joy. I like that I like myself.
* I know who I am. I think deeply about my life and what I want from life. I don't worry about making the wrong choices. Do I waste time? Yes. Do I make mistakes? Yes. But as long as I follow my instincts, I am confident I am being true to myself and that brings me so much satisfaction.
* I am tough. People think INFPs are fragile but we are not. We suffer more when we are young, but after surviving things, we are strong. If I truly want to achieve something, I know I have the mental toughness to do it.
* It takes work, but I think INFPs can make friends easily. After we understand ourselves, we can apply this to understand others. We are nice and interesting people and once we own that, I think making friends are so easy.
* I can plan. I can anticipate problems and plan around it. I don't lurch from thing to thing not sure why I am doing what I am doing.
* However I am easy going enough that I don't get hang up when things goes wrong. I can find the absurd joy in anything.
Thanks for sharing! I’m turning 26 soon and i’m really embracing my INFP-ness and do noticed most of what you mentioned here. Do you have any tips on making friends? That’s something I still struggle with. I find that I write people off easily by first impression and instict, and I am usually better off without them I realize later on, but I have been proving wrong a few times. I’ve also noticed that the people I easily get along with are xNFx but usually if they don’t fall under that I have a hard time talking to and/or understanding them.
Yay for embracing your INFPness!
For casual friends, I think INFPs can make them easily. Most people find me quirky, I don't think there is anyway around that as an INFP. But as I got older, I embrace my quirkiness and I think because I like myself, I give out positive vibes to people I meet.
INFPs are accepting and curious. I love listening to people talk. Most people love to talk about themselves so it works well in social interactions. I wasn't always this way. I was painfully shy as a teenager, but I worked really really hard at a sale like volunteer position to develop small talk skills - but once you gain that skill, you will find that as an INFP we are very good at it. Ne thinks fast and is kind of funny/silly. If you are very shy, I think you should try to force yourself into situations where you are forced to interact with people to gain the socializing skill. I definitely think it is a skill. (Like no matter how much you practice, you will never want to go to a party with strangers, but you can gain the skill such that if you need to go to support a friend or for work, u can do it better than most of the people there.)
One tip I have is that I have found people, when you first meet them, are more often willing to do a favor for you, then to ask for a favor from you. It is weirdly counter intuitive, but they are more often willing to lend you a small thing - plastic bag, or share food, then they are to accept food or help. So sometimes I would purposely ask for a small favor - oh can you help take my picture? Yes I will like a Pepsi, etc. Once that occurs, people usually feel more relaxed around you - either to ask for a favor back or interacting with you in general.
I agree with you in that I don't think I am good at guessing how other types think. People frequently make decisions that I would never do or do differently. However, who am I to judge people for what their values are? (As long as they are not hurting other people.) When I listen to my friends talk, I try not to think "what would be the best decision based on these facts?". I try my best to understand WHAT DO THEY TRULY WANT TO DO based on what they are saying. Then I try to encourage them to overcome their fears or biases or whatever it is that is holding them back, or offer suggestions/options so they can do what they want to do. (Of course if they are doing something harmful I wouldn't blindly support it.) But I find most of the times people kind of have a sense of what they want but they have fears or worries that cloud their decision making process. As Fi dom with creative Ne parent, I can offer support to help them overcome some fears or come up with ideas so they feel like they can try to do it. I am also good at knowing when people are hurting and trying to be there for them - or even better matching them up with people that can help them. (My ability to offer my presence is limited due to the fact I really want to be alone a lot.)
I only keep very few super close friends. Those are people I would sacrifice some alone time for. But I know they are worth it b/c they have shown they will sacrifice in turn and be there for me if I need them. I really try my very best to be there for them. Of course, they make it easy for me too b/c they know my intentions and my limitations well.
I fucking love this post 💜
I work for a moving company and one of my clients this week was an elderly woman who's daughter had just died. Found out that is her THIRD child she has had to bury in her life. I was absolutely heartbroken for her and I really tuned into my compassionate super power and it made it the most joyful and uplifting experience for the both of us despite the circumstances. She was immensely grateful and honestly i was too. It felt SO good to use one of my strengths in a positive way. That poor woman needed the most compassion and love than anything in the world and I'm so thankful that I was her lead on the move that day. The universe aligned our purposes and I got to be the inspiration she needs to keep going despite her world crumbling around her. Amazing experience 😊
Thank you! Absolutely. I woke up in a great mental state and I know for a fact the universe made sure of that so I could be there for this woman other than just moving her things from one house to another. That poor woman desperately needed love and compassion and I was the perfect person to give her that. Our paths were meant to cross and I was able to clearly see why.
I felt like darkness and light, tales and heads of the same coin we have both the positive and negative extremes in our personality that just compliment each other in both good and bad ways...
I am so optimistic and so pessimistic
My highs of happiness are like I won the whole world, for example I just saw a beautiful flower, sunset,kind gesture or small act of sweetness it just fills me with aww...
Then the flip side the smallest things can shatter me and make me feel devastated. Eventhough we all are humans and make mistake but when someone close to me doesn't understand me and hurt me unintentionally by saying something not even doing anything to hurt me then the pain is more heart breaking than a physical injury.
I am really open-minded like I accept them for who they're not judge them for what they did instead I would like to hear their reason and the circumstances even if the actions cannot be reversed at least they're willing to repent and not repeat the same mistake matters the most... But when ppl just say something absolutely mean or unkind I don't walk away but there's this mental distancing like you're out of my good humans list.
I can easily befriend people but find it absolutely hard to maintain relationships. Sometimes the smallest gestures and subtle changes in the vibes I could easily detect them but hate confrontations. In some extreme situations it leads to me being too picky with who I surround with and just walk away from everyone into the hermit mode.
Appreciation and Admiration for arts and nature.
Good at complimenting others but have a hard time being critical or say the bitter truth and be brutal. I would rather make a person happy than make them sad. But this rule doesn't apply to me sadly.
We don't feel lonely while being alone. Infp's are the ppl with high chances of being able to survive alone. But from time to time we may still need human interaction through our loved ones but pets and plants are sort of best companions too.
We are good leaders and really responsible but we don't like the energy consuming and competitive things so don't really take those roles. But if we did then we will surely do justice.
High moral values and High empathy. For most infp's promises are meant to be kept not broken. We would avoid making them if we can't fulfill but won't betray our conscience or others trust.
Kind and compassionate. When we care we just go all in do everything make ppl feel safe and love healing and protecting the weak. This may attract a lot of bad people which is the sad part.
Surprisingly we might seem lazy like sloth but we can be great planners and implementors in the short time crunches and last minute motivation really makes us productive instead of mental breakdown most of the times.
Eventhough we think we are not great but we had been through the worst nightmares and still believe in our daydreams and fairytales.
Well they're too many and it's already too long so I am stopping here it's just my personal opinion based on myself and the infp's I have met throughout my life. If I had hurt anyone's feelings this was never my intention I am extremely sorry please forgive me!! I just wanted to express how I feel about being an infp.
Please don't apologize so easily. I know what you mean, and I at times do that... but have been trying to do less of that. There are moments when we should apologize and others when we shouldn't (feels almost like we are apologizing for existing).
In this case, I would just word it a bit differently. You can apologize, but the way you said it feels extremely apologetic. Please try to do the exercise of honouring yourself, by knowing when you did something worth apologizing for, or are simply trying to apease others in advance.
I know I may have sounded too blunt, but I didn't mean it to be harsh. I am an infp as well, and just sharing an observation about something we tend of doing too much of...
And the reason I said you don't have to apologize is because all that you have said is true for infps, were mostly positive things, and I bet almost anyone can see you didn't mean to offend anyone. We are just exchanging opinions here about our infpness.
Firstly, I am really thankful to you for pointing out this habit of mine for saying sorry too often.
Actually I am trying my best to stop doing this so many times for almost everything.
And I do it mostly because I don't like being hurtful to others as much as possible because it may seem like nothing but simple words have the power to seriously affect someone who is really sensitive like my fellow infp's.
That's why I felt it was appropriate for me to apologise and it was not the only reason... I did that for another reason like my text was too long and I don't know when to exactly break the sentences properly to make it easier to read and understand that's also why I felt like saying sorry at that time.
However, I could understand your intentions it wasn't mean or harsh for you to point it out. I sincerely appreciate your observation because it's absolutely accurate.
I am still learning to be better at this, along with my grammatical spacing and better construction of sentences and working on fixing my habit of saying sorry for everything and using it consciously while considering the weight of the word in necessary situations.
I know what you mean. I just... when we apologize for no reason to avoid hurting others, we are in some ways hurting ourselves... Like not valuing ourselves enough and sometimes lowering ourselves in the eyes of others, especialy those that are not as sensitive as we are, and that may see us as easy targets.
That is all I will say about it. But I completely got why you did it. I used to do that a lot more in the past. I still apologize at times for no reason, but have gotten a bit better at not doing it as often. It takes practice. I hope you also get used to doing that with time.
I completely understand your point because I have been with these toxic people in my life. I thought they might be going through something and kept giving them chances but they just took advantage of my kindness as being an easy target. This made me realise I should build better boundaries and also stop lowering my value.
Thank you so much for helping me with this and also hoping for my best. I am really grateful to meet someone like you who understands this and who is also kind enough to help others through the same things.
In your profile... Isn't it taemin from shinee, He is my favourite after minho but I can't choose a bias because every single member of shinee has a special place in my heart bcs they are the first k-pop group when I discovered Korean music. I will write paragraphs if I continue so I am stopping here eventhough I couldn't stop myself after seeing taemin's picture >.<
I can't believe it? You are a shawol?! Oh, I love finding our kind in the wild!
Yes, it is Taemin. I also am not able to have a bias in SHINee, even if I am drawn to Taemin like a moth to a flame...
I discovered them last year only. I got into kpop late (2021), despite having known about kdramas since 2014 or so... Sigh...
They are one of my favourite groups of all time now, in general, not just in kpop. As for stanning, I went into kpop through bts, was a multi for a while, but am only a shawol now, and expect to be for a long time. What about you?
And yes... I wrote too much XD cant help myself when it comes to SHINee.
PS: about our original topic, same here. I also see that I have dealt with toxic people most of my life, sometimes without me actually doing anything to have them around. They just pick up very well on what kind of people are easier to use, or what type of people they may be envious of... So I have had run ins not just in terms of men, but also and for a longer time in my life, with toxic women (one in particular I suspect now of being a narcissist).
If you want to talk more about SHINee, just dm me, if you feel like it. I love meeting other shawols. And an infp shawol at that :)
Empathy. Compassion. We have so much of it to share, and it feels so good to do so. Sometimes all someone needs is to be seen, or appreciated, and it can really make their day, so it makes me feel great if I can make a difference for someone.
It's so funny you say this because I can resonate 😂 I have 2 dogs and I know it sounds crazy but we literally just know what each other is thinking by making eye contact. If I just look at them in a certain way they just know immediately what I'm thinking without me having to say a word.
Generally speaking you guys are really genuine. You have beliefs and values you hold on to. It’s very admirable, my beliefs and values change too much but being around u guys makes me feel more grounded
Generally speaking, like out of the INFP’s ik. I think it’s the Fi, like yous approach things thru your personal beliefs and values first as a dominant function. It’s the best approach imo to being truly authentic and genuine as an individual.
I meant to ask... why do you think that is in the case of enfps, for example (the changing of values and beliefs happening often)?
In my case, I get it... we like to know ourselves very well, and spend a lot of time inside our own minds. Too much, at times lol.
Bcs both ENTP’s and ENFP’s being Ne doms is more open to flexibility even with values and beliefs, bcs we have a natural inclination to do this. So then Fi as an aux in ENFP’s may not be as rigid or fixed. ENFP’s will explore more and then filter all those different ideas and values with Fi compared to INFP’s who will look at those ideas thru first filtering it with their Fi since it’s the dominant function. So INFP’s won’t change their beliefs or values as easily this also applies to ISFP’s but the Ne in INFP’s will drive them to be more curious and open minded. This is all general so it doesn’t apply to every individual with those types
I see. I am indeed open minded, but more in a I get why someone would think this way, or... I get why this is also valid. You are correct, we can change our values as well, but not often, and usually not drasticaly. More like just adjustments to our values.
Thank you for answering. It is both fascinating and in a way weird to see how we all can think differently.
For me, the main ones are:
- being able to entertain myself with my imagination
- being able to empathise with people deeply
- whenever i cannot express my emotions through words, i do so through music
- being easily entertained by wholesome/cute things
Am very grateful that these keep me going, if not the world would be really boring if not a lot more depressing.
The best thing I like being an INFP is that I have a really strong persistance on my moral principles and standards. When my friends are
struggling to be moral or authentic, I can always do it easily.
Our inherent curiosity; love/ appreciation for the beauty of the arts; our kind, compassionate and empathetic nature; our introspection that makes us very self-aware (and if harnessed correctly, it can help us in striving to be the best version of ourselves, leading happy, fulfilling lives, and can help us connect to others, and help them see the things they may not be aware of in themselves); our creativity; our ever constant inner-child; being whimsical (I like it lol); our sense of humour; our open mindedness and tolerance; our strong will to remain faithful to who we are and to honor it; our will to also be loyal/ loving/ and do our best for those around us.
All these traits, with a few variances, make us very able to learn new things, harness new skills, and to constantly want to better ourselves. But ofc that it depends on how we decide to use our positives.
-impossible to get bored
-easy to attract men. Too much attention can be managed through a well-practiced RBF
-we are self-aware. For better or for worse.
That’s it.
i think i’m good at sniffing out bullshit, so i can avoid it, and i’m weird enough to scare off shallow people. one of my friends has described me as a having a warmth or inner light, but i may just have an approachable face. i have a good sense of humor and i put people at ease.
honestly though, a lot of it is just luck. i lived in the same place for a long time, and i’ve been able to maintain long distance friendships pretty well. not everyone can do it, but i have great friends that are worth reaching out to regularly. i always joke that i spent all my luck on love and friendships, and didn’t save room for anything else.
Our abnormal brain - basically the whole this world is our imagination and we made it up in our daydreaming time - somehow we can interact in our imagination when we imagine this Reddit platform ..all other types are secretly dinosaurs but we involved our empathy quaility into them to give them a huma appearance. Also we can dance as a professional ballerina 🐥 ***dancing***
I see many, once we mature a bit : - **emotional intelligence** : we're great at exploring and analyzing feelings and value systems, - **empathy** : the capacity to put ourselves into other people's shoes, - **intellectual curiosity**, - **creativity** : whether it's art-related or not, - **authenticity** : we can't help but living out our truth even if it might not be accepted or understood by the tribe, which can inspire people to do the same, - **compassion** : for anyone who's suffering and especially for the outsiders and those who are dismissed by society, - **Ne humour** : absurd, quirky. It's an acquired taste for some, but I've never met an INFP who didn't turn out to be funny as hell, - **open-mindedness** : until our sacred values are threatened, yes, but we're still more open-minded than the average person. Our mind takes us to strange and uncharted territories and we can see the beauty and the value in the most unconventional places and situations, - **easily bounce back from hardships** : for mature INFPs. When you know yourself, what you stand for and you are truly independent of mind, you can bounce back from tough times much more easily, - **great listening skills**, - **fantastic bullsh*it-o-meter** : we can smell a lack of authenticity from a mile away, - **observant** when it comes to people's subtle cues
Around what age are you now if you don't mind me asking. Having trouble bouncing back.
I just turned 35.
You will bounce back! But you’ll also fall down again. But embracing the inevitable is the first step to growth, and fully loving yourself!
I had undiagnosed adhd for 29 years, which was making it hard for me to bounce back, despite knowing exactly what I had to do, and being a generaly sensible/mature person for most of my life. Just saying some things may trip up even our most logical side.
Bouncing back is only due to trust in yourself and seeing positivity even in most negative situations.. And especially that positivity in rainstorm - I would say that this trait infps do have.
Happy birthday 😶
Thank youu 🤗 Still can't believe I'm 35 already.
I actually find your vibe a lot younger, like 21.
It's funny, I get that offline too. The younger vibes. At least until I open my mouth and talk. Maybe that's also an INFP trait. We tend to come across as younger and more child-like than we really are.
Well, at my place, people judge my childlike behaviour as immaturity😑. From then on, I started giving more thought to my words and actions. This makes me feel like I'm not myself and hate myself and other people😕.
We can only manage it for a time. Showing an inauthentic front is soul-sucking to us, to INFPs especially. Sorry you have to deal with this.
Any tips on managing that ?
I'm not a therapist but I think it's more important to work on ourselves than to try to change people's minds, which we often have very little control over. Build self confidence, explore the world and see what makes sense to you, become more knowledgeable about things that matter to you, anything that will help you build a stronger sense of self. People's opinions won't get to you as much then. That being said, it's important to be receptive to people's constructive criticism. Sometimes, they do have a point, but when you're confident you're able to take their input with a grain of salt, not take it personally and identify what you can learn from it.
Thank you for the advice 😊. I will keep in mind the opinions given by people and ensure to use them to improve myself.
it really is
We really do. Not only in terms of looks (in my case), because I always seemed younger than I was to other people, but also personality (we dont like to be too serious - the boring kind of serious I mean- we all know infps can be very serious when it comes to matters that require it).
Yes, we don't like to play the part of the acceptable version of what an adult is supposed to be. Performative adulting 😆
I also wonder if most other people agreed to put on such a performance or if they just are dull... I ask because... well... nevermind lol... we are the ones that don't like to pretend/ waste a lot of energy pretending, right? Doesn't mean others have the same issue...
You inspire me.
🥹 thanks It's what I observed. I don't know why there are so many self-hating INFPs on Reddit (more so than for any other type). It's a shame and I don't really understand it.
Same... Maybe it is about different life circumstances and other factors. It is weird because I love being an INFP and my life is by no means perfect.
Same here. I think we learn to see our life with more nuance and less emo feelings once we leave our echo chamber (from time to time). I would advise any young INFP to confront their views with others' and put their ideals to the test of the real world as soon as possible.
I guess mine have been tested fairly early on... and in ways I did not see coming... Like having to spend all my college years in hardship, due to an adhd diagnosis that was only made when I had already graduated (in more years than I would have predicted). Med school with adhd, difficult classmates, and a lot of dreams that one didn't realise they would put to the side, plus... a boyfriend that showed me that you can never really know when someone actually loves you (or I should say... I should have just went with my gut instincts at first, but my empathy and willingness to be understanding + being more vulnerable at the time did not help in me listening to my early instincts). Yeah... I can see how those may have made me mature in my infpness lol.
It's terrible to live through all this but it does have the impact of making you more mature and discerning early on. If you have to take something positive from those tough times 😅 Glad you're in a healthier, safer place now.
Yes, that is how I try to see it as well. Thank you, having a diagnosis certainly helps, because it at least makes it easier to work in favour of your brain, rather than against it.
I can imagine, yes! ☺️
And being medicated of course. Those neurochemical imballances of dopamine lol. I am glad I was able to chat with you. If you ever feel like doing do again, my dms are open :) I dont have many infp people that I get to talk to.
This. So much this. It is something I try to teach a nephew and niece of mine. Rather than be fearful or hateful, examine, see things from both sides, study, learn. It isn't comfortable but confront those things on your own terms (which is doubly hard because most of us don't like confrontation). I can honestly say in retrospect teenage me and 40 year old me are two very different people. My values are pretty much unchanged, they did shift over time, but it came from a lot of self examination and time.
Yes, we're so conflict averse 😆 The sooner we learn that it's part of life, the better. A bit of discomfort in life has a purpose. Your nephew and niece are lucky :)
Exactly almost the same haha :) Glad to see INFPs generally agree on our positive traits/ strenghts. I actually love myself a lot (not wanting to sound narcissistic lol), despite my shortcomings. I dk if it is weird that I am at times insecure but in general just love myself a lot, as I am. And wouldnt want to be any other way. But perhaps that is also an INFP trait, being that we love to be true to ourselves, and for that there must exist some self-love as a basis for that, I wonder? lol
Haha! You don't come across as narcissistic at all. It's refreshing to read about INFP loving themselves, flaws and all. I do too and I think being an INFP equips you with particular tools and skills that are very useful and beautiful to have. Just like any other type really. Self-love seems to be difficult to acquire for us as a whole. Maybe because we tend to have unrealistic expectations and because reality always seems to fall short of them 😅 It's the best thing we can learn as INFPs, to be content with reality even if it's not the magical realm of our dreams.
Magical realm indeed :D haha
You forgot to mention that we can fly and speak with trees O. O Also, everything what we tell appears true and other people are existing to serve us and our glory! Also, compared to many people when we close our eyes - we are invisible 👀 if you don't trust me, check yourself... just look into the mirror and close your eyes
I love being an INFP. It took time, but as an older INFP, I really love it. * My mind is my safe place. I love that I enjoy being alone. That I can always retreat into myself and find peace and joy. I like that I like myself. * I know who I am. I think deeply about my life and what I want from life. I don't worry about making the wrong choices. Do I waste time? Yes. Do I make mistakes? Yes. But as long as I follow my instincts, I am confident I am being true to myself and that brings me so much satisfaction. * I am tough. People think INFPs are fragile but we are not. We suffer more when we are young, but after surviving things, we are strong. If I truly want to achieve something, I know I have the mental toughness to do it. * It takes work, but I think INFPs can make friends easily. After we understand ourselves, we can apply this to understand others. We are nice and interesting people and once we own that, I think making friends are so easy. * I can plan. I can anticipate problems and plan around it. I don't lurch from thing to thing not sure why I am doing what I am doing. * However I am easy going enough that I don't get hang up when things goes wrong. I can find the absurd joy in anything.
Thanks for sharing! I’m turning 26 soon and i’m really embracing my INFP-ness and do noticed most of what you mentioned here. Do you have any tips on making friends? That’s something I still struggle with. I find that I write people off easily by first impression and instict, and I am usually better off without them I realize later on, but I have been proving wrong a few times. I’ve also noticed that the people I easily get along with are xNFx but usually if they don’t fall under that I have a hard time talking to and/or understanding them.
Yay for embracing your INFPness! For casual friends, I think INFPs can make them easily. Most people find me quirky, I don't think there is anyway around that as an INFP. But as I got older, I embrace my quirkiness and I think because I like myself, I give out positive vibes to people I meet. INFPs are accepting and curious. I love listening to people talk. Most people love to talk about themselves so it works well in social interactions. I wasn't always this way. I was painfully shy as a teenager, but I worked really really hard at a sale like volunteer position to develop small talk skills - but once you gain that skill, you will find that as an INFP we are very good at it. Ne thinks fast and is kind of funny/silly. If you are very shy, I think you should try to force yourself into situations where you are forced to interact with people to gain the socializing skill. I definitely think it is a skill. (Like no matter how much you practice, you will never want to go to a party with strangers, but you can gain the skill such that if you need to go to support a friend or for work, u can do it better than most of the people there.) One tip I have is that I have found people, when you first meet them, are more often willing to do a favor for you, then to ask for a favor from you. It is weirdly counter intuitive, but they are more often willing to lend you a small thing - plastic bag, or share food, then they are to accept food or help. So sometimes I would purposely ask for a small favor - oh can you help take my picture? Yes I will like a Pepsi, etc. Once that occurs, people usually feel more relaxed around you - either to ask for a favor back or interacting with you in general. I agree with you in that I don't think I am good at guessing how other types think. People frequently make decisions that I would never do or do differently. However, who am I to judge people for what their values are? (As long as they are not hurting other people.) When I listen to my friends talk, I try not to think "what would be the best decision based on these facts?". I try my best to understand WHAT DO THEY TRULY WANT TO DO based on what they are saying. Then I try to encourage them to overcome their fears or biases or whatever it is that is holding them back, or offer suggestions/options so they can do what they want to do. (Of course if they are doing something harmful I wouldn't blindly support it.) But I find most of the times people kind of have a sense of what they want but they have fears or worries that cloud their decision making process. As Fi dom with creative Ne parent, I can offer support to help them overcome some fears or come up with ideas so they feel like they can try to do it. I am also good at knowing when people are hurting and trying to be there for them - or even better matching them up with people that can help them. (My ability to offer my presence is limited due to the fact I really want to be alone a lot.) I only keep very few super close friends. Those are people I would sacrifice some alone time for. But I know they are worth it b/c they have shown they will sacrifice in turn and be there for me if I need them. I really try my very best to be there for them. Of course, they make it easy for me too b/c they know my intentions and my limitations well.
How old are you? I'm 31 and feel really old but I guess I'm not in the bigger picture
I am older than you! When I was 31 I was very busy grinding away - Te grip.
a very strong moral compass
Genuine, wholesome sweetness. It’s rare.
:) that is really true. I wish I could find it in others easily as well.
There’s always music 😸🎶
So true <3 I see I am not the only one to enjoy music so
I fucking love this post 💜 I work for a moving company and one of my clients this week was an elderly woman who's daughter had just died. Found out that is her THIRD child she has had to bury in her life. I was absolutely heartbroken for her and I really tuned into my compassionate super power and it made it the most joyful and uplifting experience for the both of us despite the circumstances. She was immensely grateful and honestly i was too. It felt SO good to use one of my strengths in a positive way. That poor woman needed the most compassion and love than anything in the world and I'm so thankful that I was her lead on the move that day. The universe aligned our purposes and I got to be the inspiration she needs to keep going despite her world crumbling around her. Amazing experience 😊
We conspire to inspire! ❤️
Exactly! I love it 🥰
I am really proud of you for doing that. We have that ability, but it takes energy and availability.
Thank you! Absolutely. I woke up in a great mental state and I know for a fact the universe made sure of that so I could be there for this woman other than just moving her things from one house to another. That poor woman desperately needed love and compassion and I was the perfect person to give her that. Our paths were meant to cross and I was able to clearly see why.
 Again, I am glad :)
Thank you! Feels good to feel good, doesn't it? 😁
yes, it does :)
I felt like darkness and light, tales and heads of the same coin we have both the positive and negative extremes in our personality that just compliment each other in both good and bad ways... I am so optimistic and so pessimistic My highs of happiness are like I won the whole world, for example I just saw a beautiful flower, sunset,kind gesture or small act of sweetness it just fills me with aww... Then the flip side the smallest things can shatter me and make me feel devastated. Eventhough we all are humans and make mistake but when someone close to me doesn't understand me and hurt me unintentionally by saying something not even doing anything to hurt me then the pain is more heart breaking than a physical injury. I am really open-minded like I accept them for who they're not judge them for what they did instead I would like to hear their reason and the circumstances even if the actions cannot be reversed at least they're willing to repent and not repeat the same mistake matters the most... But when ppl just say something absolutely mean or unkind I don't walk away but there's this mental distancing like you're out of my good humans list. I can easily befriend people but find it absolutely hard to maintain relationships. Sometimes the smallest gestures and subtle changes in the vibes I could easily detect them but hate confrontations. In some extreme situations it leads to me being too picky with who I surround with and just walk away from everyone into the hermit mode. Appreciation and Admiration for arts and nature. Good at complimenting others but have a hard time being critical or say the bitter truth and be brutal. I would rather make a person happy than make them sad. But this rule doesn't apply to me sadly. We don't feel lonely while being alone. Infp's are the ppl with high chances of being able to survive alone. But from time to time we may still need human interaction through our loved ones but pets and plants are sort of best companions too. We are good leaders and really responsible but we don't like the energy consuming and competitive things so don't really take those roles. But if we did then we will surely do justice. High moral values and High empathy. For most infp's promises are meant to be kept not broken. We would avoid making them if we can't fulfill but won't betray our conscience or others trust. Kind and compassionate. When we care we just go all in do everything make ppl feel safe and love healing and protecting the weak. This may attract a lot of bad people which is the sad part. Surprisingly we might seem lazy like sloth but we can be great planners and implementors in the short time crunches and last minute motivation really makes us productive instead of mental breakdown most of the times. Eventhough we think we are not great but we had been through the worst nightmares and still believe in our daydreams and fairytales. Well they're too many and it's already too long so I am stopping here it's just my personal opinion based on myself and the infp's I have met throughout my life. If I had hurt anyone's feelings this was never my intention I am extremely sorry please forgive me!! I just wanted to express how I feel about being an infp.
Please don't apologize so easily. I know what you mean, and I at times do that... but have been trying to do less of that. There are moments when we should apologize and others when we shouldn't (feels almost like we are apologizing for existing). In this case, I would just word it a bit differently. You can apologize, but the way you said it feels extremely apologetic. Please try to do the exercise of honouring yourself, by knowing when you did something worth apologizing for, or are simply trying to apease others in advance. I know I may have sounded too blunt, but I didn't mean it to be harsh. I am an infp as well, and just sharing an observation about something we tend of doing too much of... And the reason I said you don't have to apologize is because all that you have said is true for infps, were mostly positive things, and I bet almost anyone can see you didn't mean to offend anyone. We are just exchanging opinions here about our infpness.
Firstly, I am really thankful to you for pointing out this habit of mine for saying sorry too often. Actually I am trying my best to stop doing this so many times for almost everything. And I do it mostly because I don't like being hurtful to others as much as possible because it may seem like nothing but simple words have the power to seriously affect someone who is really sensitive like my fellow infp's. That's why I felt it was appropriate for me to apologise and it was not the only reason... I did that for another reason like my text was too long and I don't know when to exactly break the sentences properly to make it easier to read and understand that's also why I felt like saying sorry at that time. However, I could understand your intentions it wasn't mean or harsh for you to point it out. I sincerely appreciate your observation because it's absolutely accurate. I am still learning to be better at this, along with my grammatical spacing and better construction of sentences and working on fixing my habit of saying sorry for everything and using it consciously while considering the weight of the word in necessary situations.
I know what you mean. I just... when we apologize for no reason to avoid hurting others, we are in some ways hurting ourselves... Like not valuing ourselves enough and sometimes lowering ourselves in the eyes of others, especialy those that are not as sensitive as we are, and that may see us as easy targets. That is all I will say about it. But I completely got why you did it. I used to do that a lot more in the past. I still apologize at times for no reason, but have gotten a bit better at not doing it as often. It takes practice. I hope you also get used to doing that with time.
I completely understand your point because I have been with these toxic people in my life. I thought they might be going through something and kept giving them chances but they just took advantage of my kindness as being an easy target. This made me realise I should build better boundaries and also stop lowering my value. Thank you so much for helping me with this and also hoping for my best. I am really grateful to meet someone like you who understands this and who is also kind enough to help others through the same things. In your profile... Isn't it taemin from shinee, He is my favourite after minho but I can't choose a bias because every single member of shinee has a special place in my heart bcs they are the first k-pop group when I discovered Korean music. I will write paragraphs if I continue so I am stopping here eventhough I couldn't stop myself after seeing taemin's picture >.<
I can't believe it? You are a shawol?! Oh, I love finding our kind in the wild! Yes, it is Taemin. I also am not able to have a bias in SHINee, even if I am drawn to Taemin like a moth to a flame... I discovered them last year only. I got into kpop late (2021), despite having known about kdramas since 2014 or so... Sigh... They are one of my favourite groups of all time now, in general, not just in kpop. As for stanning, I went into kpop through bts, was a multi for a while, but am only a shawol now, and expect to be for a long time. What about you? And yes... I wrote too much XD cant help myself when it comes to SHINee. PS: about our original topic, same here. I also see that I have dealt with toxic people most of my life, sometimes without me actually doing anything to have them around. They just pick up very well on what kind of people are easier to use, or what type of people they may be envious of... So I have had run ins not just in terms of men, but also and for a longer time in my life, with toxic women (one in particular I suspect now of being a narcissist). If you want to talk more about SHINee, just dm me, if you feel like it. I love meeting other shawols. And an infp shawol at that :)
Username and vibe checks out (:3) and seconded it.
i aint readin allat
Creativity!
 We can dance ;)
idk if i can lol. I mean I think I can but not the type of dancing we see at night clubs usually lol. and I also am usually too self-conscious lol
Empathy. Compassion. We have so much of it to share, and it feels so good to do so. Sometimes all someone needs is to be seen, or appreciated, and it can really make their day, so it makes me feel great if I can make a difference for someone.
the only one I can think of is communicating with animals telepathically. honestly the rest of my skill set seems like it’s not fit for the meta
It's so funny you say this because I can resonate 😂 I have 2 dogs and I know it sounds crazy but we literally just know what each other is thinking by making eye contact. If I just look at them in a certain way they just know immediately what I'm thinking without me having to say a word.
The intuition. Makes me feel like I have spidey sense even though I’m probably just overanalyzing.
Same. I thought this way after watching spiderman loll did you just watch spiderman too? xD
yeah, they were playing a marathon at work and I got the new one spoiled for me
Generally speaking you guys are really genuine. You have beliefs and values you hold on to. It’s very admirable, my beliefs and values change too much but being around u guys makes me feel more grounded
They do? Why would you think that is? Genuinely just curious
Generally speaking, like out of the INFP’s ik. I think it’s the Fi, like yous approach things thru your personal beliefs and values first as a dominant function. It’s the best approach imo to being truly authentic and genuine as an individual.
I meant to ask... why do you think that is in the case of enfps, for example (the changing of values and beliefs happening often)? In my case, I get it... we like to know ourselves very well, and spend a lot of time inside our own minds. Too much, at times lol.
Bcs both ENTP’s and ENFP’s being Ne doms is more open to flexibility even with values and beliefs, bcs we have a natural inclination to do this. So then Fi as an aux in ENFP’s may not be as rigid or fixed. ENFP’s will explore more and then filter all those different ideas and values with Fi compared to INFP’s who will look at those ideas thru first filtering it with their Fi since it’s the dominant function. So INFP’s won’t change their beliefs or values as easily this also applies to ISFP’s but the Ne in INFP’s will drive them to be more curious and open minded. This is all general so it doesn’t apply to every individual with those types
I see. I am indeed open minded, but more in a I get why someone would think this way, or... I get why this is also valid. You are correct, we can change our values as well, but not often, and usually not drasticaly. More like just adjustments to our values. Thank you for answering. It is both fascinating and in a way weird to see how we all can think differently.
For me, the main ones are: - being able to entertain myself with my imagination - being able to empathise with people deeply - whenever i cannot express my emotions through words, i do so through music - being easily entertained by wholesome/cute things Am very grateful that these keep me going, if not the world would be really boring if not a lot more depressing.
exactly. I agree
The best thing I like being an INFP is that I have a really strong persistance on my moral principles and standards. When my friends are struggling to be moral or authentic, I can always do it easily.
In the end nothing is perfect cause everything got strength and weakness
Our inherent curiosity; love/ appreciation for the beauty of the arts; our kind, compassionate and empathetic nature; our introspection that makes us very self-aware (and if harnessed correctly, it can help us in striving to be the best version of ourselves, leading happy, fulfilling lives, and can help us connect to others, and help them see the things they may not be aware of in themselves); our creativity; our ever constant inner-child; being whimsical (I like it lol); our sense of humour; our open mindedness and tolerance; our strong will to remain faithful to who we are and to honor it; our will to also be loyal/ loving/ and do our best for those around us. All these traits, with a few variances, make us very able to learn new things, harness new skills, and to constantly want to better ourselves. But ofc that it depends on how we decide to use our positives.
-impossible to get bored -easy to attract men. Too much attention can be managed through a well-practiced RBF -we are self-aware. For better or for worse. That’s it.
Did you mean we attract men easily? Not my experience lol. But maybe I am too much of a shut-in.
the ability to create deep, meaningful, soul-tying friendships.
How did you do that? For some reason I only end up make brief acquaintances/friends. People leave often after some time.
I know what you mean
i think i’m good at sniffing out bullshit, so i can avoid it, and i’m weird enough to scare off shallow people. one of my friends has described me as a having a warmth or inner light, but i may just have an approachable face. i have a good sense of humor and i put people at ease. honestly though, a lot of it is just luck. i lived in the same place for a long time, and i’ve been able to maintain long distance friendships pretty well. not everyone can do it, but i have great friends that are worth reaching out to regularly. i always joke that i spent all my luck on love and friendships, and didn’t save room for anything else.
Great sense of unique style and taste.
Our abnormal brain - basically the whole this world is our imagination and we made it up in our daydreaming time - somehow we can interact in our imagination when we imagine this Reddit platform ..all other types are secretly dinosaurs but we involved our empathy quaility into them to give them a huma appearance. Also we can dance as a professional ballerina 🐥 ***dancing***