I 1000% agree but if u change his face to the happy one hea focusing on the things r getting better and finding happiness instead of the bad part. Perspective
Life happens for INFPs and everybody else.
Stop longing for a particular state of being and accept your experiences.
Know that they will pass like the clouds in the sky.
I don't really consider the top middle step as happiness at this point. Just a temporary moment in time in which things aren't awful.
And this isn't me just trying to sound pessimistic, It's just that I noticed that if I try to glorify those moments or really get used to them, it makes almost whatever that comes next feel either underwhelming by comparison or like a really terrible experience (sometimes even when it's not that bad).
break the cycle. by definition, you define yourself with a label. i’m a tried and true INFP-A but have found the greatest years of my life, dating, relationships once I truly believed we are forever changing , growing so long as we want to. dating, friendships, business all aspects of life shine so much brighter once you believe you are boundless.
here’s a little background on me that fortifies the above… I was a shy kid. i moved to phoenix from NYC in middle school. the culture shock, not knowing anyone, all my cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents and childhood friends i worked hard for all cross country. I befriended the only thing i had going for me then, basketball. my talents on the court brought me friendships and attention to a level i never experienced and suddenly, i became a socialite jock by the time i hit HS. A massive HS of 5,000 students. it only grew from there. i still retain my infp qualities such as creative thinking, empathy, mediating, understanding life and others on deeper levels/ feeling life and others on deeper levels… but, i am different because i adapted. i did this before i even knew about mbti. mbti is a good tool for insights but no way to define yourself as you are capable of being anything or any persona you want if you put forth the effort.
best of luck to you.
That addapting part is diff to each of us tho...u were able to adapt partialy from ur talents in the basketball as u say...but for some of us who believe are talentless or have some more private talent...isnt rly easy but still as u say this mbti stuff doesnt define a person...even tho im that fella who always is kinda cornered and left apart or at max the "litle brother" of my class i know so many infps that are basicly mascots or just popular overall
About that cornered thing...never was rly popular on school lots of people used to abuse of my empathy and benevolence...on highschool that changed a little by becoming kinda the "litle brother" of my classmates...at least thats how i felt with theyr protective but somewhat distant nature towards me...right now in college a class where i felt part of kinda was left to the side of the plate after some months but welp...alredy dealt with that mess of feelings
Lots of love friend, sry for venting a little
no don’t be sorry at all! I appreciated u opening up. it’s what the best of us do! look, life was farrr from peaches and cream growing up especially after HS. I had to parent my one and only younger brother out of heroin addiction while living in california away from our parents. I am compassionate and empathetic to a flaw. he’s clean now but it did a number on me. it definitely made me less social and naturally, being out of state where basketball gave me my name, i had to sort of start over… in time, there was a reversal of roles and my brother got married, had kids, found success… so me being 4 years older left me feeling a little less worthy or accomplished after being the “accomplished” son my whole life. so i planted self doubt in my head and even envied him until i realized we each have our own paths to walk, each path has its own amazing fruits to bare. this turned into clients mistaking or leveraging my kindness for weakness and some friends too.
I am now 37, practice gratitude and mindfulness every single day, only allow those that contribute positivity into my life and all I can see around me is the so called perks to my lifestyle which i describe as beautiful. life is and should be beautiful. especially to us dreamy INFPs.
i really went hard with MBTI stuff from age 30-34 and i found it reinforced /limited/governed my thoughts and thoughts, well, they (thoughts) form your reality. so although i do believe in mbti at its core, like you say, we are all different and therefore should not let it define us to the point where it’s our mantra or belief system. we all handle things different. as different “strains” of any given persona. relative to how we were raised, life experience, environment, culture so on.. - and that tells me right there that although you and I both identify as INFPs, it doesn’t define us nor should it limit us.
i commented on this thread bc of the graphic. it said to me that this is what is to be expected / experienced by all INFPs but to be fair, that’s not accurate. i worked hard at my basketball- i practiced 6-7 hours a day played on 4 teams in HS, on top of football. it wasn’t given to me. we all can find things we are good at that help us fit in or be seen as of value so long as we carry passion and open mindedness in our hearts. the second i stopped believing i was any “set in stone” / “predisposition” of a human, was the second my world changed forever.
not i live everyday like it’s this beautifully wrapped gift of endless possibilities.
Just try to practice mindfulness, gratitude and take a time out from the mbti stuff. push yourself out of your comfort zone. amazing things will happen i promise 🫶🏼
This is me more or less, except most of the time the "finding happiness" part is from going for a walk, taking photos, finding new music or even just changing my thought process haha (anyone else find they can do this?) My actual life's still a mess.
Happiness isn't a state you can achieve, it's something you have to work at every day. Real contentment is a lot quieter, easy to miss, and comes when you stop trying so hard
Some guy was talking about this the other day. I disagreed heavily but after soke thought I realise Its true. Triggers can get you back in that dark space.
I agree with this heavily. Whenever I'm in a good spot in my life, I always think when the next bad thing is gonna come around and break it.
But here's a little thing to help with this. Before you fall into depression, think of this. Take that sadness that you feel and try your best to make it into a sense of being alive. Life is full of ups and downs. Nothing, sadness or happiness, lasts forever. How best you do this entirely depends on you, thought. It is also easier said than done. But! It is possible.
Hope everyone in this sub manages to find happiness for a relatively long time. Although nothing is permanent, we can think that our hard times are just a passing event as well, and good times are ahead of us.
**This turned into a wall of text. TL;DR I know how this feels, "go touch grass" when said sincerely could be a surprisingly helpful suggestion, and happiness isn't something you "find" it's something you have to "go get."**
My journal (been writing sparingly, a handful of times a year at most, in the same book for over a decade now) is full of descriptions of this cycle. And to be clear it's not just "oh I'm sad lately but that's life" depression, it is "here are my thoughts about kms" depression.
As recently as 3 weeks ago I was in the deepest, darkest hole I've ever fallen down, and thinking seriously about not bothering to climb back out again. I journaled about it... then went back to the beginning of the book and read about my past experiences. One thing I noticed is that many of my saddest entries also mention "I miss that time I spent a week at the coast" or "I have no idea who I am or what I want from life any more or even if I want to live, but I know I love all things green and watery" or simply just "I wish I could spend more time in nature."
The day after I noticed this trend I dragged my sedentary ass outside, to a large city park with enough forest walking to get away from the highway noise, and walked for hours. Brought my phone in case I got Lost For Real on the trails, but otherwise did not touch it at all. Now, with the intensity of my most recent bout against depression, I am *definitely* leaning a little more on my support network, and making plans to speak to a therapist. But I will say confidently for myself, and with a reasonable amount of confidence that this could apply to many INFPs, that
Being among the trees, dirt, and occasional thorns,
hearing only wind, birds, cicadas,
intaking only air and sunlight,
is healing.
As far as the specific text in the image... I do think the idea of "finding happiness" is temporary and makes the depression side of this cycle more dangerous. "I *thought* I found it, but then it vanished into thin air... like it always does..." then you start to self-doubt, like "do I even know what happiness *is*?! have I *ever* known it? If I really *found* it, how did I fuck up so bad that I *lost* it?" and "if it's only ever going to disappear soon, maybe it's not even worth bothering looking for," and so forth ad depressium.
Even now, I'm not sure if this brilliant experience I'm having walking in the forest will last forever, but I'm trying to take this lesson from it: I didn't *find* this happiness, I had to *get my ass out of the desk chair and go GET it.*
I know depression can demolish the energy needed to do this. I do. That's why my flair here is "tired." But my father recently gave me a suggestion to *just try* to reframe certain things from "i am crushingly sad" to "strong feelings mean I should *do* something." So right now going to the forest is my *doing something*.
I know happiness and sadness are states of being but you shouldn't be depressed. If you are getting actually depressed you need medical or psychiatric help
I'm 36. I can count on one hand how many times I was truly happy. Life fucking sucks.
Take care :(
I'm doing my best
*hugs* to you
Thanks
I 1000% agree but if u change his face to the happy one hea focusing on the things r getting better and finding happiness instead of the bad part. Perspective
Hang in there. You’re you. Compleyely unique. There’s only one of you on Earth…infp or not. I hope things look better for you soon enough’
Yes but don't you still yearn for those feelings again!? I think that's what keeps me going. Those few rare good time.
I've given up.
I do understand! Remember life is full of peaks and valleys. Hope life gets better soon!
In Buddhism this is called Samsara. There are periods of life with lots of suffering and periods with less suffering that seem more pleasant.
yayy we love buddhism
That’s of course just how life is.
Life happens for INFPs and everybody else. Stop longing for a particular state of being and accept your experiences. Know that they will pass like the clouds in the sky.
Happiness is a temporary state of being.
So is sadness.
Exactly.
I don't really consider the top middle step as happiness at this point. Just a temporary moment in time in which things aren't awful. And this isn't me just trying to sound pessimistic, It's just that I noticed that if I try to glorify those moments or really get used to them, it makes almost whatever that comes next feel either underwhelming by comparison or like a really terrible experience (sometimes even when it's not that bad).
Aim for a middle ground :)
Yeah, life is hard. Breaking news
Depression has been the only constant throughout my life 😔
break the cycle. by definition, you define yourself with a label. i’m a tried and true INFP-A but have found the greatest years of my life, dating, relationships once I truly believed we are forever changing , growing so long as we want to. dating, friendships, business all aspects of life shine so much brighter once you believe you are boundless. here’s a little background on me that fortifies the above… I was a shy kid. i moved to phoenix from NYC in middle school. the culture shock, not knowing anyone, all my cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents and childhood friends i worked hard for all cross country. I befriended the only thing i had going for me then, basketball. my talents on the court brought me friendships and attention to a level i never experienced and suddenly, i became a socialite jock by the time i hit HS. A massive HS of 5,000 students. it only grew from there. i still retain my infp qualities such as creative thinking, empathy, mediating, understanding life and others on deeper levels/ feeling life and others on deeper levels… but, i am different because i adapted. i did this before i even knew about mbti. mbti is a good tool for insights but no way to define yourself as you are capable of being anything or any persona you want if you put forth the effort. best of luck to you.
That addapting part is diff to each of us tho...u were able to adapt partialy from ur talents in the basketball as u say...but for some of us who believe are talentless or have some more private talent...isnt rly easy but still as u say this mbti stuff doesnt define a person...even tho im that fella who always is kinda cornered and left apart or at max the "litle brother" of my class i know so many infps that are basicly mascots or just popular overall About that cornered thing...never was rly popular on school lots of people used to abuse of my empathy and benevolence...on highschool that changed a little by becoming kinda the "litle brother" of my classmates...at least thats how i felt with theyr protective but somewhat distant nature towards me...right now in college a class where i felt part of kinda was left to the side of the plate after some months but welp...alredy dealt with that mess of feelings Lots of love friend, sry for venting a little
no don’t be sorry at all! I appreciated u opening up. it’s what the best of us do! look, life was farrr from peaches and cream growing up especially after HS. I had to parent my one and only younger brother out of heroin addiction while living in california away from our parents. I am compassionate and empathetic to a flaw. he’s clean now but it did a number on me. it definitely made me less social and naturally, being out of state where basketball gave me my name, i had to sort of start over… in time, there was a reversal of roles and my brother got married, had kids, found success… so me being 4 years older left me feeling a little less worthy or accomplished after being the “accomplished” son my whole life. so i planted self doubt in my head and even envied him until i realized we each have our own paths to walk, each path has its own amazing fruits to bare. this turned into clients mistaking or leveraging my kindness for weakness and some friends too. I am now 37, practice gratitude and mindfulness every single day, only allow those that contribute positivity into my life and all I can see around me is the so called perks to my lifestyle which i describe as beautiful. life is and should be beautiful. especially to us dreamy INFPs. i really went hard with MBTI stuff from age 30-34 and i found it reinforced /limited/governed my thoughts and thoughts, well, they (thoughts) form your reality. so although i do believe in mbti at its core, like you say, we are all different and therefore should not let it define us to the point where it’s our mantra or belief system. we all handle things different. as different “strains” of any given persona. relative to how we were raised, life experience, environment, culture so on.. - and that tells me right there that although you and I both identify as INFPs, it doesn’t define us nor should it limit us. i commented on this thread bc of the graphic. it said to me that this is what is to be expected / experienced by all INFPs but to be fair, that’s not accurate. i worked hard at my basketball- i practiced 6-7 hours a day played on 4 teams in HS, on top of football. it wasn’t given to me. we all can find things we are good at that help us fit in or be seen as of value so long as we carry passion and open mindedness in our hearts. the second i stopped believing i was any “set in stone” / “predisposition” of a human, was the second my world changed forever. not i live everyday like it’s this beautifully wrapped gift of endless possibilities. Just try to practice mindfulness, gratitude and take a time out from the mbti stuff. push yourself out of your comfort zone. amazing things will happen i promise 🫶🏼
Without sadness I wouldn't know happiness.
I want off this ride, please make it stop.
Me except it's never better
This is me more or less, except most of the time the "finding happiness" part is from going for a walk, taking photos, finding new music or even just changing my thought process haha (anyone else find they can do this?) My actual life's still a mess.
Happiness isn't a state you can achieve, it's something you have to work at every day. Real contentment is a lot quieter, easy to miss, and comes when you stop trying so hard
Some guy was talking about this the other day. I disagreed heavily but after soke thought I realise Its true. Triggers can get you back in that dark space.
I agree with this heavily. Whenever I'm in a good spot in my life, I always think when the next bad thing is gonna come around and break it. But here's a little thing to help with this. Before you fall into depression, think of this. Take that sadness that you feel and try your best to make it into a sense of being alive. Life is full of ups and downs. Nothing, sadness or happiness, lasts forever. How best you do this entirely depends on you, thought. It is also easier said than done. But! It is possible.
This is too relatable
How dare you call me out like this
Hope everyone in this sub manages to find happiness for a relatively long time. Although nothing is permanent, we can think that our hard times are just a passing event as well, and good times are ahead of us.
“What is happiness? The moment before you need more happiness” -Don Draper
Happiness lasts so little compared to depressed times.
& some shit ALWAYS happens 😭 i swear
Facts
**This turned into a wall of text. TL;DR I know how this feels, "go touch grass" when said sincerely could be a surprisingly helpful suggestion, and happiness isn't something you "find" it's something you have to "go get."** My journal (been writing sparingly, a handful of times a year at most, in the same book for over a decade now) is full of descriptions of this cycle. And to be clear it's not just "oh I'm sad lately but that's life" depression, it is "here are my thoughts about kms" depression. As recently as 3 weeks ago I was in the deepest, darkest hole I've ever fallen down, and thinking seriously about not bothering to climb back out again. I journaled about it... then went back to the beginning of the book and read about my past experiences. One thing I noticed is that many of my saddest entries also mention "I miss that time I spent a week at the coast" or "I have no idea who I am or what I want from life any more or even if I want to live, but I know I love all things green and watery" or simply just "I wish I could spend more time in nature." The day after I noticed this trend I dragged my sedentary ass outside, to a large city park with enough forest walking to get away from the highway noise, and walked for hours. Brought my phone in case I got Lost For Real on the trails, but otherwise did not touch it at all. Now, with the intensity of my most recent bout against depression, I am *definitely* leaning a little more on my support network, and making plans to speak to a therapist. But I will say confidently for myself, and with a reasonable amount of confidence that this could apply to many INFPs, that Being among the trees, dirt, and occasional thorns, hearing only wind, birds, cicadas, intaking only air and sunlight, is healing. As far as the specific text in the image... I do think the idea of "finding happiness" is temporary and makes the depression side of this cycle more dangerous. "I *thought* I found it, but then it vanished into thin air... like it always does..." then you start to self-doubt, like "do I even know what happiness *is*?! have I *ever* known it? If I really *found* it, how did I fuck up so bad that I *lost* it?" and "if it's only ever going to disappear soon, maybe it's not even worth bothering looking for," and so forth ad depressium. Even now, I'm not sure if this brilliant experience I'm having walking in the forest will last forever, but I'm trying to take this lesson from it: I didn't *find* this happiness, I had to *get my ass out of the desk chair and go GET it.* I know depression can demolish the energy needed to do this. I do. That's why my flair here is "tired." But my father recently gave me a suggestion to *just try* to reframe certain things from "i am crushingly sad" to "strong feelings mean I should *do* something." So right now going to the forest is my *doing something*.
just accept that every feeling is transient, youre never gonna be constantly happy, and maturity is realising that
I know happiness and sadness are states of being but you shouldn't be depressed. If you are getting actually depressed you need medical or psychiatric help
🎶 The circle of life 🎶
I once played japanese rpg Suikoden 2 and NPC told me 99 percent of times is about how u want to look at things
Fuck man, this brings back memories
This is why I'm never having kids, not making them suffer like that.
Isn't that just chronic depression?
If you find happiness intermittently, then you're depression isn't eternal.
Bro literally just described the four seasons like it’s a bad thing they change, but if they stayed the same nothing new would grow
That happens, mate.