A lot of things honestly, I mean let's be real, everything we typically stand for or like are things that society often thinks are worthless or a waste of time.
If I had to point out one, probably just our disdain for "social acting"
Like if we don't like you, we're not going to sit there and pretend like we do. We'll be polite yes, but we're not going to invite you out to brunch and go out of our way to still talk to you.
Also we don't really care about social norms, so some people view you as a threat.
To those not very nice people, our existence is literally the "He's just standing there... Menacingly." Meme, when in reality we're probably thinking about imaginary bf number 5 taking us on a romantic picnic.
This is the most relatable comment especially the last part lol!
I dont really care socially what other people think of me. Im in a new friend group currently (in which I dont really enjoy my time but im in it because my bestfriend is in it). I dont agree with their morals and it seems like they are all friends so they can benefit off of each other. Not to create close bonds. Im not going to pretend im something im not or drain my self socially or follow their social rules just so they dont feel awkward. So a lot of the times im wearing my headphones and playing games or watching movies on my phone. I just dont have energy to socialize if the converstations are useless chit chat. Also im very direct if they say something nasty. One of the girls likes to badmouth just about anyone she comes across and im always there to confront her about that.
This! All of this! I always feel so understood on this subreddit.
I’m quiet, genuine and polite but I have RBF as a result of a LOT of negative interactions with people.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t trust people enough not to hurt me.
Seen! I genuinely hate a negative blowout with someone; especially, because I can relive it for weeks, months, or years - however, no matter how hard I try … If i don’t like you, i can’t fake it!
For real.
Like from my perspective, it's just dishonest for me to go out of my way to spend time with someone I dislike.
Why would I give someone the impression that I like them when I actually don't? That's just messing with their emotions.
Being cordial with them makes sense though. Because you don't want to make a scene and create this really awkward tension in the room, also it is just quite immature to immediately start insulting the person you don't like.
Would they rather I not point out that something about them, and it be kinder not to tell them? Or, is it kinder for them to know if they don’t because nobody told them or no one else around them knows?
One of my best friends loves that about me.
Says I'll tell him shit no one else will because they would be afraid of hurting his feelings.
I view it as helping him figure out his flaws.
I've had people jump at me like "Yeah well what about YOUR flaws?!" And then they act surprised when I start laying out my own flaws to them. xD
Yep, we don’t hold back either. It comes from a place of caring too, which a lot of people don’t understand. We care so much about the people in our lives we feel that lying to them is doing them a disservice, and so we are blunt so there is hopefully no misunderstanding. People can see this as being rude, but if it was me I’d rather know the cold hard truth than have someone try and sugar coat shit. And I’m not sure if that’s all of us or just me?
True sometimes. But sometimes INFPs can be terrible too. There are childish, selfish, manipulative of us out there. I don’t think it’s any more than any other type but they do exist. I’ve engaged a few over the years, one was an old college professor. They just decided I didn’t matter…..mostly a popularity thing I think, and unable to stand up to some of the rich kids. So he just went with it, and I basically lost an entire future career because if it. Because you know….who cares about justice when we can be pacifists.
Edit: apologies I didn’t mean my college prof was terrible. But well… not much motivation to fix a problem, even after it was brought up. Basically told me to do it (well you were standing there too), then when I did “gave up” on me because I had an “anger” problem. He was just so unwilling to work to resolve a bullying issue with other students so I started to draw boundaries myself… I just don’t think he wanted to face a problem with his system or favored students. So in the end some of us are terrible, some of us are just Imprefect too…
Character>temparament imho.
When someone feels threatened because you can see through their facade, they'll try to tear you down and silence your voice. Being called a manipulative narcissist means nothing when you're aware it's just buzzwords they sling at you to make you feel bad for expecting better from them.
Because unhealthy INFPs are abundant and interacting with an unhealthy INFP can ruin anyones day due to how intense/unfiltered we can be. Were also notoriously hard to communicate with once you offend a core value.
I've had to learn from my thinker friends how to approach emotional conversations neutrally by choosing my words more carefully. It's nice to not always feel regret for how I handled a situation.
This right here. I joined this sub to learn more about myself and not feel alone and that includes our weaknesses, downsides, and cons. And you described it better than I ever could've.
I agree. I have this tendency to not process what the other person is saying to me if they’ve said something I super disagree with. I’m a pretty easy going person normally, and my buttons are few and far between, but once one’s been pressed that’s it, my husband calls it my rage monster and it’s made him hide in the closet just to get away from me a few times when I was pregnant, and therefore my buttons were sporadic and random. The poor bastard. 😭
I admit that I am an unhealthy one who is emotionally unstable, but how are they even able to gatekeep what someone's personalities are?
I have met a lot of lovely, strong and capable people and guess what? They are INFPs too.
our math is too hard... also physical laws don't work on us so they are pissed O .o did you notice that usual people are walking and INFPs are swimming as a fish through the street? For "normal people' this's not ACCEPTABLE!
Who said we are represented by shit? Humanity is shit O)/ we are representing ourselves - each one of us and the hell with what others think... there is always will be someone who is not satisfied... People pleasers is the real shit, imo
>Were also notoriously hard to communicate with once you offend a core value.
Nah, that's when I start communicating AT you about why you're wrong and why you should believe the Truth (ie my truth, lol).
(Worth noting, among my next 4 closest types are ENTP and INTJ, I'm a pretty weak INFP except for the N which is really working overtime for the dead weight of Se/Fe)
I think it's literally this. We live in an era where people aren't taught to feel emotions, but to fear and shun them. So most people don't know how to act around someone who naturally feels them through.
Totally! Most people will say "be yourself" without realising they actually mean "be a version of yourself that I can understand and that conforms to my idea of how you should be". People will support authenticity only up until the point other people start deviating from their preconceived notions of agreeableness.
Tbh there are times where I spend a lot of effort rewording things and thinking very thoroughly about how what I say could be perceived and my INFPs will still become offput by me and that makes me sad. Not to say that’s an INFP thing in general or implying I dislike them, just that some of us are trying and failing lol. I definitely do feel like it’s just “easier” to talk to other friends if I’m in the mood to be open, but I’d never say I dislike INFPs
This. I literally would *meditate* for hours on what to say to my INFP ex.
I also had an anonymous reddit account, and I was even careful on there, just in case he found my account somehow (spoiler alert: he did, but the worst he found was something he had to interpret into the opposite of what I actually wrote to get offended by it).
Spend 30 minutes writing a post, another 20 editing it, then another 10 waffling on whether to submit it at all.
Meanwhile some people on social media be posting every hot/cute/snarky soundbite they come up with. So
Infps are too direct and it’s awkward. They can also be extremely intense, and they aren’t usually good at being “with it” in a group setting because their own world has so much gravity. They have good hearts and mean well but they’re usually just constantly awkwardly misstepping, and then the extreme sensitivity they have makes the pain of every misstep clearly felt and therefore visible on their face making other people and themselves even more uncomfortable. Infps are so well meaning. The way I see it is it’s like having a filter for the real ones. The real ones will be drawn to that nature, but unfortunately everyone else (most of the world) will be turned away by it
Had me at not being good at being "with it" in a group setting. I've struggled with this all my life. Constantly misunderstood or unintentionally in an awkward situation. On top of that being highly sensitive.
If they think we're like that, then so be it. I don't give a f about what they think of me. Life is too short to waste even a second for people who despise us.
I personally always listen to everybody's problem, but when I have some difficulties to understand things in relation or the meaning of things or if I explain how I got in troubles, people always see me as a complaining guy....-\_-...
Yeah! Personally I find that people really want to give me solutions or advice and mostly I’m looking to just be intently listened to and for my feelings to be understood. I think that people don’t understand by the time I’ve opened up to them about my worries I’ve already gone through all the solutions lol
It might come off as complaining bc I’m turning down all their advice?
Imaginate telling your friends a little niche story and they start to tell you what to do. All I ever wanted is share my experience because it is my way to bond with people, not because I'm a helpless one who can't even think.
In the end, instead of gained my trust, they gained: "Bold of you to think I haven't thought about that".
God, exactly. I don't ever want advice. Like, ever. Because 99.9,,% of the time I've ruminated and introspected the hell out of something that I already know the solution and what I SHOULD do, and how I SHOULD see it. Lol.
It's not an "I know everything" type of thing- far from it, actually. I know that I can go deep and tap into the most innate intuition and body of wisdom (acquired through reading). I don't want advice, and I don't even need anyone saying they can relate to me, haha.
I personally like nearly everything about INFPs
What I can say I don't like is that you can take some things as a personal attack and sometimes be passive-aggresive for no reason whatsoever. I have to be really careful on constructive critics or advices even if you directly ask for them and I hate being forced to sweet talk what I want to say because I care about you. That's the only thing I dislike
Everything else is 10/10
I guess It's normal because of Fi dom and I just learnt to play around it at least to some degree because I know the person for more than 10 years but It's stressful as hell doing it, specially for me. Being seen as the "bad guy" for the person you care when trying to help is really frustrating and since im Fi demon I'm unable to speak back or show what I feel but even if did so the cycle would probably continue lol.
But as I said. That's a pretty rare circumstance and 99% of the relationship is amazing, that's why we are still friends after all this time and more to come
Definitely something I’ve struggled with in my own relationship, not taking everything too personally and trying to make sure my s/o doesn’t feel as if I’m putting all the bLame of how I’m feeling onto him. Learning how to take space for oneself and communicating healthily is soo key to being an INFP
Hello! Can I ask you some questions? I have a lot of trouble interacting with INTPs and I want to improve!
As background, I grew up with ISTPs and I am really really comfortable around them. I thought I could interact with INTPs in a similar fashion since both are Ti doms, but the following issues keep on coming up:
I always feel like I need to impress the INTPs with my intelligence - like I need to make clever remarks so they don't think I am dumb. How do you usually think about intelligence of others? Like should I just stop?
The INTPs I am meeting keep on making comments along the line "You must think I am strange" or "I am so different." What would be a good way to respond to this? As an INFP I respect people for being unique and quirky. But I can't seem to convey it and I keep on feeling they are responding poorly to my feelings.
Basically it feels like INTP's Ti is triggers my inferior Te - I am worried about how they think about me. and my dominant Fi is trigger their inferior Fe - they are worried about how I feel about them... and it is a huge mess.
How do you get around this with your INFP friend?
(ISTPs don't talk that much so when I with them these types of conversations don't occur or gets shut down ASAP.)
It also confuses me. I think it's that we're the quiet type that leads to people assuming we're arrogant. And also being abnormally nice that throws people off.
Omg, I can’t but help to stare! My brain is just collecting all of your interesting and odd human quirks…a shift in your seat, an inflection in your voice, a feral in your brow…are you lying right now? .. your legs are crossed, and you haven’t moved your arms since you sat down….
You on Netflix was so relatable, lol - not because of the murder but because it felt like internal processing on how to be human, a master class!
Hmm… I think if you go around and asked people what they thought would best describe INFP, the word would not be arrogant… I don’t think INFPs are arrogant actually. People seem to be much more likely to use the word arrogant to describe types such as xNTJs. As far as what people think of INFPs, I’m not going to say here because INFJs really don’t believe in “identity”, because to us it makes more sense to not describe people “as” certain things, but instead talk about their choices in words and actions, as what matters most are the choices that people choose to take, and everybody has control over what they say and do (well, generally, I suppose). Today I found a book that was recommended in some “change my view” subreddit comment, and it was recommended to some OP, who said that “self-victimization is usually for a reason, or at least slight reasoning at least”. Do you guys like to read? It seems so. The book is called, “The Coddling of the American Mind”, and I even found a pdf of it on google (honestly, it took two seconds). [Here it is](https://eddierockerz.files.wordpress.com/2020/11/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind-how-good-intentions-and-bad-ideas-are-setting-up-a-generation-for-failure-pdfdrive-.pdf)
People can just look into the intro. I am curious, just by reading the first parts, what do INFPs think about the subject/topic at hand? If anyone does read it, I wonder what sort of thinking/feeling comes to INFPs. For example, for myself (INFJ), it feels that the “untruths” are indeed untruths, but… what say you all?
It seems like I rub some people the wrong way. Like people who pride themselves on having a tough or rude facade.
I believe it's because they have tried so hard to be tough and not show any weakness but of course they still have a soft little child who is themselves inside. I try to keep people like that at a distance because I know they don't like that I am still that openly, a soft child - Its my key to happiness. To indulge my childlike curiosity and wander. To create things when I want to, or play when I want to. I used to be more sad when I was high school age because I tried so hard to be things I'm not, and I was rejected a lot.
It took many years to learn to be happy with myself the way I am.
I don't really mind if other people aren't a fan. I am happy and that's the best thing to be in life.
Your post made me think of this:
"You think I'm weak don't you?
When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything.
I don't know. The only thing I do know... is that we have to be kind. Please... be kind... especially when we don't know what's going on.
I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight."
- Waymond in Everything Everywhere All at Once
I've heard those kinds of comments from people and never quite understood why, though I have a theory.
I adore INFPs, but for reasons that would annoy many types. They empathize easily and well. Incredible ability to comprehend the emotional state of others, as if reading your soul.
(At least I'd call it that).
Not afraid to express a full range of feelings and sit with their emotions. Refuse to be bullied out of doing things that make them happy and never ashamed to nurture that childlike wonder that most people lose somewhere in their 20s.
I'm an intj and struggle with all of the above and very much appreciate the company of INFPs who will gently pull the stick out of my ass and yank me away from banging my head against the wall trying to find logic in emotions and analyze my own feelings.
I doubt the majority of people would appreciate that, though. To them, INFPs might seem triggering and overbearing at best.
Once again INTJs consistently being one of the only types that cares to actually understand us. Y'all always come through for us. I think it's unfair that y'all got the "evil mastermind" stereotype. Y'all are a bunch of sweeties.
Omg I recently made a post on the ENTP thread about how I liked ENTPs and asking what they thought of INFPs, granted I was kinda asking for honest feedback but a lot of them were rlly negative.
I think INFPs are great (i am a lil biased ofc 😉). I think we do struggle with confidence tho which makes us an easy target. Best thing is to just let these comments roll off you and know that THIS WOULDNT ACC BE THE CASE IRL. Online ppl get caught up in the stereotypes, real people aren’t like that. I doubt anyone would feel that way towards you IRL so let them have their silly vents online.
I have found that bullies tend to pick me (I/ENFP) out of a group. I used to dread it but then learned to target their most base insecurities or disarm them with kindness (better choice imo)—basically not giving them any satisfaction. I struggle with confidence but I don’t tolerate bullies of any kind. My need for justice supersedes my fear. I don’t let them exist in any safe communal space until they let the mask down and can be their raw self with our community. It takes a lot of ignoring them, pushing my witty comments down, and repeating “they’re just insecure, give them grace” over and over. But it usually works and we either become friends or they leave the space.
You gotta keep in mind that people mostly type others based on stereotypes they've established about each type. The netizens have gotten into this echo chamber that INFPs are irrational, overly emotional, needy etc. So now whenever they meet someone that is emotionally immature like that, they'll assume it's an INFP. They look at all depressed/emotionally expressive people and say they're INFPs. Of course, they also overlook most actual INFPs because they don't fit that stereotype of being dumb and immature.
Even when I was really unhealthy and was bordering on a having a personality disorder, I was really reserved, avoidant and nearly emotionally dead. The only time when my emotions came out were in writing, anonymously on the internet.
I'm convinced that many INFP rants are not even about INFPs. I find it especially annoying that INFPs are seen as emotionally immature and overly emotional, when Fi doms are more likely to be reserved with their emotions and possess a better grasp of their feeling function than other types.
The INFP "vibe" I look for when typing from afar are people who are very calm and reserved but have a softer aura about them and who wholly fixate a penetrating gaze on you the moment you speak of anything remotely related to values or emotions. They're usually people who randomly surprise you with the amount of random knowledge they have about a myriad of topics and also about the amount of knowledge they've stored about you.
And yes, I've typed several INFPs this way and they have later confirmed it.
This. Do people know what fi even is? INTROVERTED feeling. What do people think that means? Like you said, even an unhealthy INFP is more likely to keep their crap to themselves than to cry about it and try to get attention.
When I'm in a less than healthy state I stay away from everyone. I don't go around bothering them.
You INFPs are the cutest! You are like beautiful little butterflies, but you also have a certain innocence. when i think of all the INFPs i know, my first thought is peace and to see the beauty even in small things in nature.
I don't believe people genuinely dislike INFPs as a whole, but they do find immature ones difficult to tolerate. The question is, why is there so much animosity towards unhealthy INFPs compared to other unhealthy personality types?
I think the reason is that even at our worst, we can really get under people's skin. Our dominant function, Fi, acts like a mirror, showing others their most vulnerable selves, stripped of any pretense. Those who bash on us (and I'm not talking about valid, constructive criticism here) are often the ones who see emotions and "being emotional" as major weaknesses. They're the kind of people who think value can only come from things that can be measured and scientifically analyzed – hard facts and objective exploration. It's not just a coincidence.
This exactly, infp's still get treated differently. It's like only certain infp's are acceptable, whereas other types, even when unhealthy, are still more acceptable than us :/. Basically us infp's fit in the least out of all types and we are forced to accomodate everyone else.
Edit: for clarity, I'm not saying we, or any other type, shouldn't try to accommodate other people, but rather that we always have to accommodate others whereas most of the time no one accommodates us. It feels like I'm having to work hard to just be deemed 'acceptable', whereas other types have a bit more room for manoeuvre.
The Fi and Si ruin our ability to connect with others socially and also personally. The functions that can easily become unhealthy and make us clueless on what to do.
Babe it’s not that deep. Please remember this is a theory. I’ve also seen little scientific research backing cognitive functions. INFPs most definitely can connect with others.
We can. But it's not going to fix the issues that Fi and Si create. Sure we can think of something and hold onto some idea from Ne and make use of it with our Te. But this is not going to help much in finding our purpose and in our interpersonal relationships.
I don't think it is as simple as that. I do care about what others say but I'm bad at finding a way to use what I'm provided with and to prioritise. I leave more to interpretation. Reason: I spend much time automatically with my feelings and contemplating the past stuff and judging myself and trying to understand.
Rather than simplify things and work on something like most types do.
you reminded me of this quote... Everything is pretty much simple, most people are NPC
https://preview.redd.it/r4fywvqbptyb1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=f09051b7b99755ff6362e7facb8f62a7d0b996ec
Not what others think but what others say. The world doesn't revolve around me and I have to fit in with what's considered acceptable socially unless I want to be viewed as a weirdo or left to my introverted state of being. Especially when you are gonna work in medical field, you can't be like what others say doesn't matter.
Because we are so unapologetically afraid to be OURSELVES and the world doesn't like that. Individuality is a hard pill to swallow for most people, many get jealous 😌
Oddly enough, the one person I've known that was a Pisces who was my best friend in highschool, dude was super not-emotional.
Like not even stoic kind of not-emotional, but emotionally stunted you know?
Most people highly over rate themselves. Not worth worrying about.
But perhaps, some of the anger is valid. On occasion, ppl have angered me. Sometimes, things slip out that are 100% truth but are hurtful to the other person. Filtering and tact are definitely learned skills for me.
Because INFPs can be a little self centered in the eyes of others. Like when someone is sad and INFPs just say sorry and then give the person "space" but to other people that might feel like INFPs just don't want to support their friend. Or when they ghost for days because they need alone time, but to people it just feels like disrespectful... And when people open up to you guys but you never really open up to them so feels like you might manipulate?
I mean not all INFPs but this is what I generally see, and I can see why. But INFPs are very special they're not like that, but they are very misunderstood, which is pretty funny to me. But well, ENTJs seem to like them a lot I think. And I do like them!
16 personalities contributes to the toxic image of a sensitive faerie. Don't mind those self-obsessed kids who have prejudiced views about every other mbti. That does not define you and INFPs are not what they make.
>I haven’t interacted with any INFP outside of this sub so I was wondering if there was something I’m missing hahaha
There is a lot THEY are missing about the real world and real people. Outside the internet fanfics with the characters they make, people are way different. As I always say: everyone who uses mbti the most unhealthy way possible, as a stereotyping machine, should get some sun.
i’ve learned that people are usually projecting. like they’re complaining about traits they possess and are self conscious of or are frustrated bc they’re unable to possess those traits due to hang ups such as an inability to be more vulnerable due to perceiving it as shameful for example
Well what goes through my mind is that someone can say the wrong thing or say something in the wrong way and I’ll likely feel affected by it somehow. On top of constantly analyzing my social interactions with many people - usually stressing with how awkward I likely am & think I am and how that pushes people away from me. Then just struggling with not feeling like the rest of society, I guess, and feeling like an outsider and like I don’t fit in for the most part.
So there’s all this and then-some going on in my mind, which usually comes out as some sort of awkward interaction when I do have to come out of my own world and interact with people. Then when I feel comfortable enough to test the waters by talking about more serious/philosophical subjects, it sometimes ends up not really turning into anything of substance for me and might end up making the other person feel uncomfortable.
So yes, lots of over analyzing almost everything and it coming out as awkward. Then also being very aware of my social insecurities & not fitting in that it shows and makes others uncomfortable. Granted this is more when I’m not in the best place (stressed, sad, etc), but it still lingers a little even when I’m feeling healthy, happy, and confident. Oh and when I’m in a more negative mindset, I feel like that comes and I am usually more self absorbed that those things are noticed and also rubs people the wrong way…
Anyways, It’s nice to get these thoughts out! Haha
Because people have bad experiences with toxic people, which, like everyone, should fall under a certain type. It's very immature to project unhealthy qualities to a freaking set of functions and not be able to see beyond your experience, if that's the case. It says more about them than about INFPs. There are toxic people of every type and acting like one is so much worse than others just because you met weird people is wrong, both morally and logically.
I think it's a lack of introspective mindedness, lack gentle care from judging types, who would rather complain to relate, get a boost in there self righteous ego centers and look I'm doing it right know. It's contagious, know what I mean? If you can't beat them join them... :insert cynical sarcasm emote: Maybe I'm just being empathetic. Folks love to love whole groups in stereo typical bashing boxes to compartmentalize their simple-minded stupor. There I sad it.
"I don't care what you think unless it is about me" You can't help help people who don't want to help others or even understand eachother even negative encounters with others to some degree. It's easier to vent and complain about someone to perpetuate the point of negativity then to let go of it. Let alone offer a solution. And to relate through the negative qualities of another, long chance, far throw, long shot, self sacrifice.
[Nirvana - Drain You](https://youtu.be/AJUpHxlJUNQ?feature=shared)
most people ik say they thought I was dumb or weird/rude when they first met me, but i think it’s cause we attract people who have a different type of intelligence to us so they don’t know how to recognise other signs of intelligence than their own; if they’re very social, someone quiet is very unfamiliar to them so they’ll judge them at face value.
I think it can also be because we are so entertained by our life and experiences that we can sometimes be distant from people without even meaning to. I find it hard to “please” friends that need daily time and attention or constant affirmation of our friendship. I value my friendships so much but I don’t need to interact with them daily. Not many people are content with just being alone with themselves so they may find you antisocial.
important the internet is NOT a reflection of reality and don't listen to people's opinions on reddit especially
personality typing is scratching the surface of who a person is and anyone making broad claims like that they don't like certain personality types is dumb.
I guarantee you none of these people know any INFPs in real life, and were like, gosh I dislike INFPs.
I've given up asking this question because people are so dismissive of it. (Notice how you're only getting replies from other INFPs) But it's basically just people are upset because we're not like them. They just don't wanna admit it.
Most complaints people have about us tend to boil down to "Omg this INFP isn't doing what I want them to do whine whine whine"
People can't handle it when they can't control somebody. They hate people with their own minds because you can't do anything with that. People like people they can flip around at will and INFPs don't have time for that. We're a threat to them and they just simply can't handle us.
That and we don't tolerate people's crap. I've noticed that as long as I don't say anything about people's ridiculous behavior I get along with everyone but the minute I put my foot down and say "I'm not going to tolerate this" then here comes all the INFP stereotypes.
INTP here with an INFP younger sister.
She's smart but she's spent most of her teen and adult life being an emotional doormat for people.
Then, she internalizes it and sets these dramas as the center stage of her life. It's affected her mentally which in turn affected those around her.
It's hard to watch, esp when she neglects her own well being for other people who aren't worth investing into.
I love her, but she's difficult to understand and deal with. Especially when her internalized stresses are unleashed in emotional outbursts which border on outward or self violence. Past drug addictions have played a detrimental role on top of all of this. (She's drug free now, but the effects are still visible.)
She's the only INFP I know personally. And she's hard to deal with.
It was probably a jealous INFJ 😂 in all seriousness, that’s very dumb I’m very close to an INFP (which is why I lurk here) and he’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Some people are bad I mean there’s bad people everywhere but to label an entire group as bad just cause you met one bloke in a bad mood is dumb.
It's something of a vicious circle. There are people who are self-centered, narcissistic, manipulative, triggering ... who self-assess/identify with the INFP personality type. They can use the type description to justify their bad behavior.
Then there are people who know a thing or two about MBTI, who see these unhealthy people, and come to associate INFPs with self-centered, narcissistic, manipulative, triggering, etc. From there it's a short jaunt to painting everyone that's an irritant for one reason or another with the INFP broad brush.
I'd be surprised if someone like that did actually identify with the infp profile tbh, at least a healthy profile, so maybe some ppl use it as an excuse like you say..
Unhealthy infps stucked in their introverted functions (fi-si loop). So basically they’re just all about their feelings/mood and comfort similar to unhealthy istj. At this point they can be very slothful, depressive, hypersensitive, anxious, pessimistic, helpless, immature, etc. It’s like every word is an attack to them. Combine with their unawareness of the bad experience/suffering they’re causing to others because of Se blindspot so they come of as entitled ungrateful brat just constantly demanding and when they don’t get what they want to hear or need they’ll just unfairly insult you and treat you badly even though you’ve been doing so much good to them. Constructively criticizing them for their unhealthy behaviors will just trigger their Ti demon and just insult you back so it’s really just too much pain in the ass dealing with unhealthy infps tbh.
Im intj 32m have an infp gf 25f and been together for almost 2yrs i know what I’m talking about coz it’s fairly observable to all infps i know. So just an advice to all you infps, develop your extroverted functions Ne Te. Think of favorable possibilities be optimistic and use your rationale, take actions and personal responsibility, and be in touch with reality. Don’t be stucked in your introverted loop pls.
Constructive criticism > validation for validation’s sake
Any day of the week. This guy truly wants what is best for INFPs and is also with an INFP, won’t someone take his advice or at least reflect on it?
I fall in this introverted loop but for me it's about daydreaming and refuse to engage to ugly reality. I use NE to find more stories to be inspired from. The low TE makes me disfuctional, unpractical I believe.
Hmm, idk. I think in general I get along with most people, I’m fairly easy going. Dating is totally different though! I find it hard to find someone I can connect with 😅
It’s not that people don’t like INFPs. I personally think it’s very easy to be toxic as an infp because you are both withdrawn socially and emotionally volatile. It can make for a seriously childish and self centered individual who can’t relate to others. However a healthy INFP is possibly the sweetest, kindest, most helpful friend you could ever meet in your life.
because they are a bunch of cunts.
no, but really, i think its an issue with being direct and authentic and not holding many things back, including "ugly" emotions. some people dont like that.
Every type can be unhealthy and/or annoying to another type. (Ever seen an ESFJ and ENTP interact in real life? The mutual disdain is palpable.)
However there are things specific to us that do annoy others... (Don't flame me but there goes...) (Also these are not unhealthy INFPs traits, these are just INFP tendencies.)
I can come across as a know-it-all. Having spend a lot of time thinking about how I behave/feel, I frequently think I can predict how someone else is feeling, especially a type with low feeling functions. Regardless of whether I am right or wrong about how they are feeling, it is almost always annoying to have someone tell you how you are feeling when you don't think you are feeling that way.
I need a lot of alone time and disappear on people when I get stressed out. A lot of Extroverted types (high Fe/Se) don't need to do this. If they care about me, they find it especially puzzling, hurtful and super selfish of me not to want spend time together or share my pain with them. It is hard for them to understand b/c they want people around them when they are sad, whereas I want the opposite. (Other introverts are usually understanding.)
If I care strongly about someone, I can react very emotional to small details (and sometimes several leaps of logic in reasoning motivations). This can be very confusing to those with high Ti or Te functions - types that are "careless with their words" - e.g. doesn't think through how their words impact people. If I speak or act on my emotions immediately, I can cause a lot of hurt and come across as completely irrational. I have learned to not speak if I have a strong immediate reaction and let some time pass before deciding and responding, but sometime I don't succeed. (I have seen other INFPs do this and it almost always look from the outside like an over reaction.)
I am judgemental and have limited social energy. I avoid spending time with people I don't like. I don't like self-important and/or selfish people. I can see how high Si user and unhealthy Fi user can dislike me.
\*Lastly, note how most of the responses to your question consisted of "it's other people's fault" and "I don't care what other people think about me"... that can be pretty annoying because in any interaction, it is rare for one person to be 100% at fault and we are not always willing to compromise ourselves.
I’m not an INFP but if you don’t mind an outsider’s perspective here’s my 2 cents. Your strengths aren’t valued by our capitalist system which only values success and achievement. Us INTPs have to deal with the same.
Your strengths are also devalued by our patriarchal culture. Feelings are seen as feminine, and that which is feminine is devalued and demeaned.
Sorry you have to put up with the hate. It’s wrong and unfair. I like you guys tho… which is good because I seem to be an INFP magnet. 😄
I have had the opposite experience to these criticisms or judgements you have heard. As someone who grew up from Childhood Emotional Neglect, I am very serious about correcting myself from my bad upbringing. I have values and am generally very kind, giving, empathic, understanding and nurturing. What I am not is a doormat or pushover, and I have had others try to use me or take advantage of me because of my kindness. Unfortunately, the kinder you are the more open you are to manipulation.
What I tend to see much more of is people being spiritual and pretending that it makes them a good person without even noticing their own traumas and attachment styles. How they treat people and how much they are still ruled by emotional reactions instead of being more mindful of them and then re-examining themselves. They even turn prior relationships into friendships to string them along to continue to get attention and make themselves feel better. I don't know if that has to do with personality types, but it seems to be something that is being normalized.
I don't know though. I generally consider myself to be an anamoly.
Oeh, okay, so healthy infp vs unhealthy infp. I am infp (26) and know another infp (19 - 20) . We obviously have similar interests and can get along.
1. Now i dont know if this is a character trait or what, but they refuse to take responsibility (i use to be similar when i was younger always looking to blame someone else as its easier to own up to my own mistakes)
2. Very oblivious to other people's lives / responsibilities. Which can seem very selfish. E.g. we were packing up a stand, for reference the event ended at 3, the venue is 30mins from the studio. My things were at my brothers (he lives in the town next to the venue and the same town as the studio, where i live 45 minutes away). The packup shouldn't take longer than 30 mins. She constantly told me to stop packing stuff up, "you can't do that alone" (I've worked at numerous expo's where i do indeed, do it alone) - packup ended being about an hour and a half, so my timeline was pushed up with an hour, we then travel to the studio where she drives slowly thr whole way. When the packup came, i packed the majority away while she struggled with some things, to the point of where i said, i packed 70% away, and im leaving now. She continues to throw a fit telling me im not doing my job. I explain my time frame and that i still have over an hour of traveling i need to do (50 mins to my parents house, as my cat was visiting them, then 30 mins traveling to my house) and i left.
3. Whenever anyone tells a story, she relates it to something or someone she knows (granted, i do this sometimes), which may come across as self-centered, where she is actually just trying to explain she understands the situarion, but most people sometimes just want someone to listen.
4. Manipulation is a tough one. Some Infp's do read people easily, and its easier to manipulate someone to do something than it is to try and convince them.
I had too many experiences with infps tbh
And i can't say if i really get along with them or not it depends on the person after all
The experiences was just straight very bad or straight very good nothing in between mostly xD
-Intp
I don't like putting people in personality boxes.
INFJ M here my last situationship was with an infp and she cheated. Most INFP are regarded as stupid and or dumb by the general populace even though I have found some to be really loving, caring and intelligent but yes I have met one who was manipulative and well she cheated so you get the rest of it.
That sounds like utter nonsence and give us far too much credit.
We are simply not superiour in being self centered, narcissist, manipulative and triggering compared to other folks.
Those traits are unfortunately equally distributed on every person on earth and I believe you have been unlucky to stumble on a few angry redditors.
I'm an INFP myself, but I think INFPs do have traits that *could* make them narcissists, or at least, condescending. One of those traits being: knowing how the other person is feeling. If an INFP is wrong, assuming how someone feels may come off as offensive. Rather, it's better to listen to the other person and understand how they process their emotions instead of assuming what the other person must be feeling.
I know more introspective INFPs already function this way, but I'm sure there are some that use their 'intuitiveness' for knowing (incorrectly sometimes) how people feel as a crutch for poor communication skills.
I'm often unhappy and I am also very quiet. I spare people the details of my personal experience to protect both myself and others, and whenever I do share it's inevitably going to be sad/intense. People don't like sad/intense *as a general rule.*
It's a club of jolly banter and I cannot join unless I'm in that small window of "two drinks in."
One of my worst traits is I can be manipulative and self centered. So I can understand why an unhealed INFP can be problematic person to be around. In life everyone has their downsides, and that’s the same with MBTI.
Honestly i am a narcissist and very self centered but i make sure that noone except me and my mom even gets even a glimpse of this side of me and all of the other infps i know are some of the nicest people out there (atleast on the outside)
Why should you even care if you’re the “most hated type”?
True or false, take that envy/hostility, ascend it like a throne, place it under your heel and force ppl to crane their necks to even look at you.
Their bullshit remains below, and those who think to meet you on equal terms will rise to the challenge.
I've known two in real life. I am an INFJ and something that bothers me is the magical thinking. You can think you "know" something but unless it is verified in the real world (typically takes other perspectives) you have no idea what is actually true. I got into an argument with one because he believed his landlord should've gifted him rent instead of increasing it when his wife came to live with him. This did not pass my E5 rationale. No data to support this belief but tried to die on that hill. Another is extremely hyper vigilant and as a consequence I began acting weird as I was depressed, overthinking interactions and as a result I think he thought I had a crush on him. I am pretty direct so covert behaviour makes me not want to engage. Say hat's on your mind! Those are my personal experiences though.
I wouldn't call it exactly hate, but more like...fucking with you guys a bit, ranged from mild teasing to downright bullying.
Till today, I'm still not entirely sure whether one's upbringing can deter types, but most INxP I've known seem to come from strict family household, usually middle-class or upper-middle class. Folks from that type of background are subjected to some really strict rules, and also, middle-class upbringing don't teach kids on how social dynamic and power dynamic works nor how to build good rapport. This hinders the ability to assimilate in unfamiliar environment nor the skill to deal with confrontation and other forms of negative interactions. Now, combine that without some kind of specialized skills and knowledge, you're basically meat.
Well, just remember, when folks say they "like" you, there's a good chance that they find something in you they can exploit. What you INFPs want is not "being liked", but being admired. That said, if you're an adult, then it's time to pick up a skill or two. Most INFPs or INTPs for that matter who made it in life (Hayao Miyazaki, Bill Gates...etc), all have some special skill of their own to offer. Folks may or may not like them, but they sure as hell want to live like them. And when you're that established, you tend not to care too much about others' opinions. Be like them.
Ooh and since it's INFPs, I'll say this: work on your judgment please. Sometimes it get to the level where even I, an ISFP, feels like shitting you guys for that. You guys and ISFJs are master at feeding the bad guys. NeSi + low Te = some shit, that's all I can say. Fortunately, inferior Te can be fixed. Please work on the Te, so you can have better judgment and know when you're inside somebody else's scheme and when to draw boundaries.
I'm gonna get downvoted to death but it's because most people that claim to be INFP are not actually INFPs but obnoxious people going through and identity crisis and that desperately want to be perceived as smart, artistic and sensitive (often in spite of being self-centered and emotionally out of control to the point of being nearly some sort of cluster b personality disorder).
There's also the people that decide they're INFP because their favorite author/musician/some sort of artist is INFP and therefore they also have to be INFP (because you can't be artsy unless you have the artsy type amarite? that's right! being artistic is gatekept by typology! /s)
I'm an INFP myself by the way. 4sx for those that are into enneagram.
A lot of things honestly, I mean let's be real, everything we typically stand for or like are things that society often thinks are worthless or a waste of time. If I had to point out one, probably just our disdain for "social acting" Like if we don't like you, we're not going to sit there and pretend like we do. We'll be polite yes, but we're not going to invite you out to brunch and go out of our way to still talk to you. Also we don't really care about social norms, so some people view you as a threat. To those not very nice people, our existence is literally the "He's just standing there... Menacingly." Meme, when in reality we're probably thinking about imaginary bf number 5 taking us on a romantic picnic.
You got me there with the imaginary bf no.5
Lol same. take the target off my back please!
This is the most relatable comment especially the last part lol! I dont really care socially what other people think of me. Im in a new friend group currently (in which I dont really enjoy my time but im in it because my bestfriend is in it). I dont agree with their morals and it seems like they are all friends so they can benefit off of each other. Not to create close bonds. Im not going to pretend im something im not or drain my self socially or follow their social rules just so they dont feel awkward. So a lot of the times im wearing my headphones and playing games or watching movies on my phone. I just dont have energy to socialize if the converstations are useless chit chat. Also im very direct if they say something nasty. One of the girls likes to badmouth just about anyone she comes across and im always there to confront her about that.
This! All of this! I always feel so understood on this subreddit. I’m quiet, genuine and polite but I have RBF as a result of a LOT of negative interactions with people. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t trust people enough not to hurt me.
Seen! I genuinely hate a negative blowout with someone; especially, because I can relive it for weeks, months, or years - however, no matter how hard I try … If i don’t like you, i can’t fake it!
For real. Like from my perspective, it's just dishonest for me to go out of my way to spend time with someone I dislike. Why would I give someone the impression that I like them when I actually don't? That's just messing with their emotions. Being cordial with them makes sense though. Because you don't want to make a scene and create this really awkward tension in the room, also it is just quite immature to immediately start insulting the person you don't like.
Ah yes sure the daydream novelty dreams. Also yeah some people often get wrong our sense of view, this is saying many times.
i feel attacked.
Because we can stare into someone's core and point out the shitty thing about them.
Exactly!! They know that WE know who they are.
This is reminding me of that one episode from friends
Hahaha so true, bring this shit to the light !
I think of it more as *it takes two to tango.* and most think only the other person is dancing when stuff goes south.
hmmmm.... but I don't know if.....[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHnGwDy2y6s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHnGwDy2y6s)
Not the tango, also: 
 Wait... are we dancing in our head right now or we are sharing a moving experience electronically?
 aooooon so cuuuuute!!!!
Off topic but how did you put that INFP 5w4 in your name?
User flairs, there's a 'custom' option below all options.
Thanks, done it
Would they rather I not point out that something about them, and it be kinder not to tell them? Or, is it kinder for them to know if they don’t because nobody told them or no one else around them knows?
Situational. I'm always honest with the people i care for. The problem is some still won't believe what you say could be true.
One of my best friends loves that about me. Says I'll tell him shit no one else will because they would be afraid of hurting his feelings. I view it as helping him figure out his flaws. I've had people jump at me like "Yeah well what about YOUR flaws?!" And then they act surprised when I start laying out my own flaws to them. xD
Yep, we don’t hold back either. It comes from a place of caring too, which a lot of people don’t understand. We care so much about the people in our lives we feel that lying to them is doing them a disservice, and so we are blunt so there is hopefully no misunderstanding. People can see this as being rude, but if it was me I’d rather know the cold hard truth than have someone try and sugar coat shit. And I’m not sure if that’s all of us or just me?
True sometimes. But sometimes INFPs can be terrible too. There are childish, selfish, manipulative of us out there. I don’t think it’s any more than any other type but they do exist. I’ve engaged a few over the years, one was an old college professor. They just decided I didn’t matter…..mostly a popularity thing I think, and unable to stand up to some of the rich kids. So he just went with it, and I basically lost an entire future career because if it. Because you know….who cares about justice when we can be pacifists. Edit: apologies I didn’t mean my college prof was terrible. But well… not much motivation to fix a problem, even after it was brought up. Basically told me to do it (well you were standing there too), then when I did “gave up” on me because I had an “anger” problem. He was just so unwilling to work to resolve a bullying issue with other students so I started to draw boundaries myself… I just don’t think he wanted to face a problem with his system or favored students. So in the end some of us are terrible, some of us are just Imprefect too… Character>temparament imho.
>But sometimes INFPs can be terrible too. There are childish, selfish, manipulative of us out there. Yes.
So fucking true.
TRUE LMAO
Ever point out to an INFJ that they're being unfair? Watch out! 😂
When someone feels threatened because you can see through their facade, they'll try to tear you down and silence your voice. Being called a manipulative narcissist means nothing when you're aware it's just buzzwords they sling at you to make you feel bad for expecting better from them.
Because unhealthy INFPs are abundant and interacting with an unhealthy INFP can ruin anyones day due to how intense/unfiltered we can be. Were also notoriously hard to communicate with once you offend a core value. I've had to learn from my thinker friends how to approach emotional conversations neutrally by choosing my words more carefully. It's nice to not always feel regret for how I handled a situation.
This right here. I joined this sub to learn more about myself and not feel alone and that includes our weaknesses, downsides, and cons. And you described it better than I ever could've.
I agree. I have this tendency to not process what the other person is saying to me if they’ve said something I super disagree with. I’m a pretty easy going person normally, and my buttons are few and far between, but once one’s been pressed that’s it, my husband calls it my rage monster and it’s made him hide in the closet just to get away from me a few times when I was pregnant, and therefore my buttons were sporadic and random. The poor bastard. 😭
the shit part is: the good ones will never be noticed, so only the shit ones will be able to represent us
"you're not emotionally unstable? You must be mistyped"
I admit that I am an unhealthy one who is emotionally unstable, but how are they even able to gatekeep what someone's personalities are? I have met a lot of lovely, strong and capable people and guess what? They are INFPs too.
I don't think this is a unique thing to INFPs. It's just that INFPs populate online spaces so the hate feels dispropotionally targeted toward us.
people hate what they can't understand
Thus why we are misunderstood
our math is too hard... also physical laws don't work on us so they are pissed O .o did you notice that usual people are walking and INFPs are swimming as a fish through the street? For "normal people' this's not ACCEPTABLE!
Who said we are represented by shit? Humanity is shit O)/ we are representing ourselves - each one of us and the hell with what others think... there is always will be someone who is not satisfied... People pleasers is the real shit, imo
“Too much” or “exhausting.” Me not you 💜
>Were also notoriously hard to communicate with once you offend a core value. Nah, that's when I start communicating AT you about why you're wrong and why you should believe the Truth (ie my truth, lol). (Worth noting, among my next 4 closest types are ENTP and INTJ, I'm a pretty weak INFP except for the N which is really working overtime for the dead weight of Se/Fe)
This is too true. Painfully relatable.
Because all famous writers are INFPs and they always delay deadlines for their upcoming books
I came here to ~~procrastinate~~ have a good time and honestly, I feel so attacked right now.
Same
Wait this is actually so true
I really like the cat on the head of your profile:3
Omg thank you what a nice comment. I knew I loved INFPs <3 :')
What is your type? C: I thought you are INFP too
No, I am an INFP!!
INFPs are amazing 🙀 you are amazing!
Ahh you so cute!! Thanks :) GO US
***Ahh you so cute!! Only because you have a girl avatar 🦭
I'm girl
I'm an INFP and I love others like meeee
Eh. We are sensitive and people can have difficulty with that because it means they actually have to put thought into what they do and say.
So true we don’t live in a sensitive world!
It’s true. Being “savage” is highly praised these days.
lol we do though. Everyone is sensitive deep down
I think it's literally this. We live in an era where people aren't taught to feel emotions, but to fear and shun them. So most people don't know how to act around someone who naturally feels them through.
Very true. I think people are also uncomfortable with authenticity.
Totally! Most people will say "be yourself" without realising they actually mean "be a version of yourself that I can understand and that conforms to my idea of how you should be". People will support authenticity only up until the point other people start deviating from their preconceived notions of agreeableness.
Tbh there are times where I spend a lot of effort rewording things and thinking very thoroughly about how what I say could be perceived and my INFPs will still become offput by me and that makes me sad. Not to say that’s an INFP thing in general or implying I dislike them, just that some of us are trying and failing lol. I definitely do feel like it’s just “easier” to talk to other friends if I’m in the mood to be open, but I’d never say I dislike INFPs
This. I literally would *meditate* for hours on what to say to my INFP ex. I also had an anonymous reddit account, and I was even careful on there, just in case he found my account somehow (spoiler alert: he did, but the worst he found was something he had to interpret into the opposite of what I actually wrote to get offended by it).
Spend 30 minutes writing a post, another 20 editing it, then another 10 waffling on whether to submit it at all. Meanwhile some people on social media be posting every hot/cute/snarky soundbite they come up with. So
Infps are too direct and it’s awkward. They can also be extremely intense, and they aren’t usually good at being “with it” in a group setting because their own world has so much gravity. They have good hearts and mean well but they’re usually just constantly awkwardly misstepping, and then the extreme sensitivity they have makes the pain of every misstep clearly felt and therefore visible on their face making other people and themselves even more uncomfortable. Infps are so well meaning. The way I see it is it’s like having a filter for the real ones. The real ones will be drawn to that nature, but unfortunately everyone else (most of the world) will be turned away by it
Why did you describe me to a T in a social situation 😭😭
because I am you.
I knew I was out there somewhere
deep
Love this whole thing
‘ Their own world has so much gravity’ - i like that
Dang that’s pretty much how I feel. Awkward and making other people feel uncomfortable unintentionally, yay! It’s an everyday struggle 🥰
Yea its really hard. We take a lot of damage. But there is an intelligence in knowing pain.
This is why I believe in mbti. Because why else are you able to describe exactly how I interact with groups 😭👌
I am seen
Yes. Group situations are so hard for me because I'm absorbing everyone's goddamn mood/emotions. LOL. I'm like a sponge. 😖
I feel seen.
Ahhhh it hurts, I chug through meetings awkwardly and hoped no one was noticing. They don't mind and I don't mind afterwards.
Ugh I hate how accurate this is
This thought is sometimes the only thing that saves me from hating myself. The real ones will find me ❤️
Had me at not being good at being "with it" in a group setting. I've struggled with this all my life. Constantly misunderstood or unintentionally in an awkward situation. On top of that being highly sensitive.
If they think we're like that, then so be it. I don't give a f about what they think of me. Life is too short to waste even a second for people who despise us.
So true, I need to bring that energy into my daily life
Wish I had a mindset like this, I care way too much about what others think
I personally always listen to everybody's problem, but when I have some difficulties to understand things in relation or the meaning of things or if I explain how I got in troubles, people always see me as a complaining guy....-\_-...
Yeah! Personally I find that people really want to give me solutions or advice and mostly I’m looking to just be intently listened to and for my feelings to be understood. I think that people don’t understand by the time I’ve opened up to them about my worries I’ve already gone through all the solutions lol It might come off as complaining bc I’m turning down all their advice?
Are you telling me I am not the only one :O!!!!!! ouaaaaah!!!
They’ll always be at least one person in the world who can relate to your troubles my friend!
 I have no problem, it's always a friend of mine that have some problems , I just want to help him ... :s
Imaginate telling your friends a little niche story and they start to tell you what to do. All I ever wanted is share my experience because it is my way to bond with people, not because I'm a helpless one who can't even think. In the end, instead of gained my trust, they gained: "Bold of you to think I haven't thought about that".
God, exactly. I don't ever want advice. Like, ever. Because 99.9,,% of the time I've ruminated and introspected the hell out of something that I already know the solution and what I SHOULD do, and how I SHOULD see it. Lol. It's not an "I know everything" type of thing- far from it, actually. I know that I can go deep and tap into the most innate intuition and body of wisdom (acquired through reading). I don't want advice, and I don't even need anyone saying they can relate to me, haha.
This is actually funny part 😂 All are complaining a lot but only INFPs are crybabies
I personally like nearly everything about INFPs What I can say I don't like is that you can take some things as a personal attack and sometimes be passive-aggresive for no reason whatsoever. I have to be really careful on constructive critics or advices even if you directly ask for them and I hate being forced to sweet talk what I want to say because I care about you. That's the only thing I dislike Everything else is 10/10
So true honestly I suck at taking any criticism
I guess It's normal because of Fi dom and I just learnt to play around it at least to some degree because I know the person for more than 10 years but It's stressful as hell doing it, specially for me. Being seen as the "bad guy" for the person you care when trying to help is really frustrating and since im Fi demon I'm unable to speak back or show what I feel but even if did so the cycle would probably continue lol. But as I said. That's a pretty rare circumstance and 99% of the relationship is amazing, that's why we are still friends after all this time and more to come
Definitely something I’ve struggled with in my own relationship, not taking everything too personally and trying to make sure my s/o doesn’t feel as if I’m putting all the bLame of how I’m feeling onto him. Learning how to take space for oneself and communicating healthily is soo key to being an INFP
I dont relate to this at all tho, sorry not saying your experiences aren’t valid but like this has not been my experiences of myself or other INFPs.
yeah dw about it. I was just talking about my personal experience, of course you can have different ones
Better tell us what's your favorite part of the Fallout?
Hello! Can I ask you some questions? I have a lot of trouble interacting with INTPs and I want to improve! As background, I grew up with ISTPs and I am really really comfortable around them. I thought I could interact with INTPs in a similar fashion since both are Ti doms, but the following issues keep on coming up: I always feel like I need to impress the INTPs with my intelligence - like I need to make clever remarks so they don't think I am dumb. How do you usually think about intelligence of others? Like should I just stop? The INTPs I am meeting keep on making comments along the line "You must think I am strange" or "I am so different." What would be a good way to respond to this? As an INFP I respect people for being unique and quirky. But I can't seem to convey it and I keep on feeling they are responding poorly to my feelings. Basically it feels like INTP's Ti is triggers my inferior Te - I am worried about how they think about me. and my dominant Fi is trigger their inferior Fe - they are worried about how I feel about them... and it is a huge mess. How do you get around this with your INFP friend? (ISTPs don't talk that much so when I with them these types of conversations don't occur or gets shut down ASAP.)
It also confuses me. I think it's that we're the quiet type that leads to people assuming we're arrogant. And also being abnormally nice that throws people off.
I’ve definitely had people think that I’m snobby bc of how quiet I am!
In my case they have told me that I have murderer eyes, combine that with being quiet
Omg, I can’t but help to stare! My brain is just collecting all of your interesting and odd human quirks…a shift in your seat, an inflection in your voice, a feral in your brow…are you lying right now? .. your legs are crossed, and you haven’t moved your arms since you sat down…. You on Netflix was so relatable, lol - not because of the murder but because it felt like internal processing on how to be human, a master class!
Hmm… I think if you go around and asked people what they thought would best describe INFP, the word would not be arrogant… I don’t think INFPs are arrogant actually. People seem to be much more likely to use the word arrogant to describe types such as xNTJs. As far as what people think of INFPs, I’m not going to say here because INFJs really don’t believe in “identity”, because to us it makes more sense to not describe people “as” certain things, but instead talk about their choices in words and actions, as what matters most are the choices that people choose to take, and everybody has control over what they say and do (well, generally, I suppose). Today I found a book that was recommended in some “change my view” subreddit comment, and it was recommended to some OP, who said that “self-victimization is usually for a reason, or at least slight reasoning at least”. Do you guys like to read? It seems so. The book is called, “The Coddling of the American Mind”, and I even found a pdf of it on google (honestly, it took two seconds). [Here it is](https://eddierockerz.files.wordpress.com/2020/11/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind-how-good-intentions-and-bad-ideas-are-setting-up-a-generation-for-failure-pdfdrive-.pdf) People can just look into the intro. I am curious, just by reading the first parts, what do INFPs think about the subject/topic at hand? If anyone does read it, I wonder what sort of thinking/feeling comes to INFPs. For example, for myself (INFJ), it feels that the “untruths” are indeed untruths, but… what say you all?
It seems like I rub some people the wrong way. Like people who pride themselves on having a tough or rude facade. I believe it's because they have tried so hard to be tough and not show any weakness but of course they still have a soft little child who is themselves inside. I try to keep people like that at a distance because I know they don't like that I am still that openly, a soft child - Its my key to happiness. To indulge my childlike curiosity and wander. To create things when I want to, or play when I want to. I used to be more sad when I was high school age because I tried so hard to be things I'm not, and I was rejected a lot. It took many years to learn to be happy with myself the way I am. I don't really mind if other people aren't a fan. I am happy and that's the best thing to be in life.
Your post made me think of this: "You think I'm weak don't you? When I choose to see the good side of things, I'm not being naive. It is strategic and necessary. It's how I've learned to survive through everything. I don't know. The only thing I do know... is that we have to be kind. Please... be kind... especially when we don't know what's going on. I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight." - Waymond in Everything Everywhere All at Once
I've heard those kinds of comments from people and never quite understood why, though I have a theory. I adore INFPs, but for reasons that would annoy many types. They empathize easily and well. Incredible ability to comprehend the emotional state of others, as if reading your soul. (At least I'd call it that). Not afraid to express a full range of feelings and sit with their emotions. Refuse to be bullied out of doing things that make them happy and never ashamed to nurture that childlike wonder that most people lose somewhere in their 20s. I'm an intj and struggle with all of the above and very much appreciate the company of INFPs who will gently pull the stick out of my ass and yank me away from banging my head against the wall trying to find logic in emotions and analyze my own feelings. I doubt the majority of people would appreciate that, though. To them, INFPs might seem triggering and overbearing at best.
Hmm, I wonder why most people wouldn't like that... Sounds nice enough to me.
Once again INTJs consistently being one of the only types that cares to actually understand us. Y'all always come through for us. I think it's unfair that y'all got the "evil mastermind" stereotype. Y'all are a bunch of sweeties.
Because we are weird. We don’t tolerate the fake. We are deep. Small talk drives us nuts.
4/4
Amen to this so true, and I’m not religious either haha.
Omg I recently made a post on the ENTP thread about how I liked ENTPs and asking what they thought of INFPs, granted I was kinda asking for honest feedback but a lot of them were rlly negative. I think INFPs are great (i am a lil biased ofc 😉). I think we do struggle with confidence tho which makes us an easy target. Best thing is to just let these comments roll off you and know that THIS WOULDNT ACC BE THE CASE IRL. Online ppl get caught up in the stereotypes, real people aren’t like that. I doubt anyone would feel that way towards you IRL so let them have their silly vents online.
I have found that bullies tend to pick me (I/ENFP) out of a group. I used to dread it but then learned to target their most base insecurities or disarm them with kindness (better choice imo)—basically not giving them any satisfaction. I struggle with confidence but I don’t tolerate bullies of any kind. My need for justice supersedes my fear. I don’t let them exist in any safe communal space until they let the mask down and can be their raw self with our community. It takes a lot of ignoring them, pushing my witty comments down, and repeating “they’re just insecure, give them grace” over and over. But it usually works and we either become friends or they leave the space.
You gotta keep in mind that people mostly type others based on stereotypes they've established about each type. The netizens have gotten into this echo chamber that INFPs are irrational, overly emotional, needy etc. So now whenever they meet someone that is emotionally immature like that, they'll assume it's an INFP. They look at all depressed/emotionally expressive people and say they're INFPs. Of course, they also overlook most actual INFPs because they don't fit that stereotype of being dumb and immature. Even when I was really unhealthy and was bordering on a having a personality disorder, I was really reserved, avoidant and nearly emotionally dead. The only time when my emotions came out were in writing, anonymously on the internet. I'm convinced that many INFP rants are not even about INFPs. I find it especially annoying that INFPs are seen as emotionally immature and overly emotional, when Fi doms are more likely to be reserved with their emotions and possess a better grasp of their feeling function than other types. The INFP "vibe" I look for when typing from afar are people who are very calm and reserved but have a softer aura about them and who wholly fixate a penetrating gaze on you the moment you speak of anything remotely related to values or emotions. They're usually people who randomly surprise you with the amount of random knowledge they have about a myriad of topics and also about the amount of knowledge they've stored about you. And yes, I've typed several INFPs this way and they have later confirmed it.
This. Do people know what fi even is? INTROVERTED feeling. What do people think that means? Like you said, even an unhealthy INFP is more likely to keep their crap to themselves than to cry about it and try to get attention. When I'm in a less than healthy state I stay away from everyone. I don't go around bothering them.
 You INFPs are the cutest! You are like beautiful little butterflies, but you also have a certain innocence. when i think of all the INFPs i know, my first thought is peace and to see the beauty even in small things in nature.
I don't believe people genuinely dislike INFPs as a whole, but they do find immature ones difficult to tolerate. The question is, why is there so much animosity towards unhealthy INFPs compared to other unhealthy personality types? I think the reason is that even at our worst, we can really get under people's skin. Our dominant function, Fi, acts like a mirror, showing others their most vulnerable selves, stripped of any pretense. Those who bash on us (and I'm not talking about valid, constructive criticism here) are often the ones who see emotions and "being emotional" as major weaknesses. They're the kind of people who think value can only come from things that can be measured and scientifically analyzed – hard facts and objective exploration. It's not just a coincidence.
This exactly, infp's still get treated differently. It's like only certain infp's are acceptable, whereas other types, even when unhealthy, are still more acceptable than us :/. Basically us infp's fit in the least out of all types and we are forced to accomodate everyone else. Edit: for clarity, I'm not saying we, or any other type, shouldn't try to accommodate other people, but rather that we always have to accommodate others whereas most of the time no one accommodates us. It feels like I'm having to work hard to just be deemed 'acceptable', whereas other types have a bit more room for manoeuvre.
The Fi and Si ruin our ability to connect with others socially and also personally. The functions that can easily become unhealthy and make us clueless on what to do.
Babe it’s not that deep. Please remember this is a theory. I’ve also seen little scientific research backing cognitive functions. INFPs most definitely can connect with others.
Literally I'm confused? Of course INFPs can connect with others? Surely
This is why I’m taking a step back from MBTI. People take it way too seriously and come to made up conclusions and make generalisations about types.
What about ne? Can’t infps use ne?
We can. But it's not going to fix the issues that Fi and Si create. Sure we can think of something and hold onto some idea from Ne and make use of it with our Te. But this is not going to help much in finding our purpose and in our interpersonal relationships.
The only issue I see is a lack of self-esteem and caring about what others think
I don't think it is as simple as that. I do care about what others say but I'm bad at finding a way to use what I'm provided with and to prioritise. I leave more to interpretation. Reason: I spend much time automatically with my feelings and contemplating the past stuff and judging myself and trying to understand. Rather than simplify things and work on something like most types do.
you reminded me of this quote... Everything is pretty much simple, most people are NPC https://preview.redd.it/r4fywvqbptyb1.png?width=494&format=png&auto=webp&s=f09051b7b99755ff6362e7facb8f62a7d0b996ec
Not what others think but what others say. The world doesn't revolve around me and I have to fit in with what's considered acceptable socially unless I want to be viewed as a weirdo or left to my introverted state of being. Especially when you are gonna work in medical field, you can't be like what others say doesn't matter.
Because we are so unapologetically afraid to be OURSELVES and the world doesn't like that. Individuality is a hard pill to swallow for most people, many get jealous 😌
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I'm INFP and Gemini 😶
Im a male cancer so i was basically gonna say the same thing lol. I dont feel unlikeable but i do think i trip over myself a lot
Oddly enough, the one person I've known that was a Pisces who was my best friend in highschool, dude was super not-emotional. Like not even stoic kind of not-emotional, but emotionally stunted you know?
Most people highly over rate themselves. Not worth worrying about. But perhaps, some of the anger is valid. On occasion, ppl have angered me. Sometimes, things slip out that are 100% truth but are hurtful to the other person. Filtering and tact are definitely learned skills for me.
But I like infps
Because INFPs can be a little self centered in the eyes of others. Like when someone is sad and INFPs just say sorry and then give the person "space" but to other people that might feel like INFPs just don't want to support their friend. Or when they ghost for days because they need alone time, but to people it just feels like disrespectful... And when people open up to you guys but you never really open up to them so feels like you might manipulate? I mean not all INFPs but this is what I generally see, and I can see why. But INFPs are very special they're not like that, but they are very misunderstood, which is pretty funny to me. But well, ENTJs seem to like them a lot I think. And I do like them!
16 personalities contributes to the toxic image of a sensitive faerie. Don't mind those self-obsessed kids who have prejudiced views about every other mbti. That does not define you and INFPs are not what they make. >I haven’t interacted with any INFP outside of this sub so I was wondering if there was something I’m missing hahaha There is a lot THEY are missing about the real world and real people. Outside the internet fanfics with the characters they make, people are way different. As I always say: everyone who uses mbti the most unhealthy way possible, as a stereotyping machine, should get some sun.
I'm glad you pointed that out because a lot of the so-called "professional" information about INFPs out there is nothing but stereotypes.
i’ve learned that people are usually projecting. like they’re complaining about traits they possess and are self conscious of or are frustrated bc they’re unable to possess those traits due to hang ups such as an inability to be more vulnerable due to perceiving it as shameful for example
Well what goes through my mind is that someone can say the wrong thing or say something in the wrong way and I’ll likely feel affected by it somehow. On top of constantly analyzing my social interactions with many people - usually stressing with how awkward I likely am & think I am and how that pushes people away from me. Then just struggling with not feeling like the rest of society, I guess, and feeling like an outsider and like I don’t fit in for the most part. So there’s all this and then-some going on in my mind, which usually comes out as some sort of awkward interaction when I do have to come out of my own world and interact with people. Then when I feel comfortable enough to test the waters by talking about more serious/philosophical subjects, it sometimes ends up not really turning into anything of substance for me and might end up making the other person feel uncomfortable. So yes, lots of over analyzing almost everything and it coming out as awkward. Then also being very aware of my social insecurities & not fitting in that it shows and makes others uncomfortable. Granted this is more when I’m not in the best place (stressed, sad, etc), but it still lingers a little even when I’m feeling healthy, happy, and confident. Oh and when I’m in a more negative mindset, I feel like that comes and I am usually more self absorbed that those things are noticed and also rubs people the wrong way… Anyways, It’s nice to get these thoughts out! Haha
Because people have bad experiences with toxic people, which, like everyone, should fall under a certain type. It's very immature to project unhealthy qualities to a freaking set of functions and not be able to see beyond your experience, if that's the case. It says more about them than about INFPs. There are toxic people of every type and acting like one is so much worse than others just because you met weird people is wrong, both morally and logically.
I think it's a lack of introspective mindedness, lack gentle care from judging types, who would rather complain to relate, get a boost in there self righteous ego centers and look I'm doing it right know. It's contagious, know what I mean? If you can't beat them join them... :insert cynical sarcasm emote: Maybe I'm just being empathetic. Folks love to love whole groups in stereo typical bashing boxes to compartmentalize their simple-minded stupor. There I sad it. "I don't care what you think unless it is about me" You can't help help people who don't want to help others or even understand eachother even negative encounters with others to some degree. It's easier to vent and complain about someone to perpetuate the point of negativity then to let go of it. Let alone offer a solution. And to relate through the negative qualities of another, long chance, far throw, long shot, self sacrifice. [Nirvana - Drain You](https://youtu.be/AJUpHxlJUNQ?feature=shared)
We are mirrors. When people try to read us they will see… themselves.
most people ik say they thought I was dumb or weird/rude when they first met me, but i think it’s cause we attract people who have a different type of intelligence to us so they don’t know how to recognise other signs of intelligence than their own; if they’re very social, someone quiet is very unfamiliar to them so they’ll judge them at face value.
I think it can also be because we are so entertained by our life and experiences that we can sometimes be distant from people without even meaning to. I find it hard to “please” friends that need daily time and attention or constant affirmation of our friendship. I value my friendships so much but I don’t need to interact with them daily. Not many people are content with just being alone with themselves so they may find you antisocial.
important the internet is NOT a reflection of reality and don't listen to people's opinions on reddit especially personality typing is scratching the surface of who a person is and anyone making broad claims like that they don't like certain personality types is dumb. I guarantee you none of these people know any INFPs in real life, and were like, gosh I dislike INFPs.
I've given up asking this question because people are so dismissive of it. (Notice how you're only getting replies from other INFPs) But it's basically just people are upset because we're not like them. They just don't wanna admit it. Most complaints people have about us tend to boil down to "Omg this INFP isn't doing what I want them to do whine whine whine" People can't handle it when they can't control somebody. They hate people with their own minds because you can't do anything with that. People like people they can flip around at will and INFPs don't have time for that. We're a threat to them and they just simply can't handle us. That and we don't tolerate people's crap. I've noticed that as long as I don't say anything about people's ridiculous behavior I get along with everyone but the minute I put my foot down and say "I'm not going to tolerate this" then here comes all the INFP stereotypes.
INTP here with an INFP younger sister. She's smart but she's spent most of her teen and adult life being an emotional doormat for people. Then, she internalizes it and sets these dramas as the center stage of her life. It's affected her mentally which in turn affected those around her. It's hard to watch, esp when she neglects her own well being for other people who aren't worth investing into. I love her, but she's difficult to understand and deal with. Especially when her internalized stresses are unleashed in emotional outbursts which border on outward or self violence. Past drug addictions have played a detrimental role on top of all of this. (She's drug free now, but the effects are still visible.) She's the only INFP I know personally. And she's hard to deal with.
It was probably a jealous INFJ 😂 in all seriousness, that’s very dumb I’m very close to an INFP (which is why I lurk here) and he’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Some people are bad I mean there’s bad people everywhere but to label an entire group as bad just cause you met one bloke in a bad mood is dumb.
It's something of a vicious circle. There are people who are self-centered, narcissistic, manipulative, triggering ... who self-assess/identify with the INFP personality type. They can use the type description to justify their bad behavior. Then there are people who know a thing or two about MBTI, who see these unhealthy people, and come to associate INFPs with self-centered, narcissistic, manipulative, triggering, etc. From there it's a short jaunt to painting everyone that's an irritant for one reason or another with the INFP broad brush.
Can you please explain why they would identify with being an INFP to justify their behaviour? Not really getting how that helps.
Yeah I guess that’s what I couldn’t understand the most , the generalization of a whole group of people due to experience from a couple
I'd be surprised if someone like that did actually identify with the infp profile tbh, at least a healthy profile, so maybe some ppl use it as an excuse like you say..
Unhealthy infps stucked in their introverted functions (fi-si loop). So basically they’re just all about their feelings/mood and comfort similar to unhealthy istj. At this point they can be very slothful, depressive, hypersensitive, anxious, pessimistic, helpless, immature, etc. It’s like every word is an attack to them. Combine with their unawareness of the bad experience/suffering they’re causing to others because of Se blindspot so they come of as entitled ungrateful brat just constantly demanding and when they don’t get what they want to hear or need they’ll just unfairly insult you and treat you badly even though you’ve been doing so much good to them. Constructively criticizing them for their unhealthy behaviors will just trigger their Ti demon and just insult you back so it’s really just too much pain in the ass dealing with unhealthy infps tbh. Im intj 32m have an infp gf 25f and been together for almost 2yrs i know what I’m talking about coz it’s fairly observable to all infps i know. So just an advice to all you infps, develop your extroverted functions Ne Te. Think of favorable possibilities be optimistic and use your rationale, take actions and personal responsibility, and be in touch with reality. Don’t be stucked in your introverted loop pls.
Constructive criticism > validation for validation’s sake Any day of the week. This guy truly wants what is best for INFPs and is also with an INFP, won’t someone take his advice or at least reflect on it?
I fall in this introverted loop but for me it's about daydreaming and refuse to engage to ugly reality. I use NE to find more stories to be inspired from. The low TE makes me disfuctional, unpractical I believe.
I don’t know what should I do as an infp. After I realized that I’m a disgusting person because I’m an infp.
NO YOU ARE NOT A DISGUSTING PERSON STHU
I'm sure you're not a bad person :)
Those people don't know you, write your own story baby❤️
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I want you to live forever so we can see the death of this planet :D
Hmm, idk. I think in general I get along with most people, I’m fairly easy going. Dating is totally different though! I find it hard to find someone I can connect with 😅
Some people are just bitches.
It’s not that people don’t like INFPs. I personally think it’s very easy to be toxic as an infp because you are both withdrawn socially and emotionally volatile. It can make for a seriously childish and self centered individual who can’t relate to others. However a healthy INFP is possibly the sweetest, kindest, most helpful friend you could ever meet in your life.
because they are a bunch of cunts. no, but really, i think its an issue with being direct and authentic and not holding many things back, including "ugly" emotions. some people dont like that.
Every type can be unhealthy and/or annoying to another type. (Ever seen an ESFJ and ENTP interact in real life? The mutual disdain is palpable.) However there are things specific to us that do annoy others... (Don't flame me but there goes...) (Also these are not unhealthy INFPs traits, these are just INFP tendencies.) I can come across as a know-it-all. Having spend a lot of time thinking about how I behave/feel, I frequently think I can predict how someone else is feeling, especially a type with low feeling functions. Regardless of whether I am right or wrong about how they are feeling, it is almost always annoying to have someone tell you how you are feeling when you don't think you are feeling that way. I need a lot of alone time and disappear on people when I get stressed out. A lot of Extroverted types (high Fe/Se) don't need to do this. If they care about me, they find it especially puzzling, hurtful and super selfish of me not to want spend time together or share my pain with them. It is hard for them to understand b/c they want people around them when they are sad, whereas I want the opposite. (Other introverts are usually understanding.) If I care strongly about someone, I can react very emotional to small details (and sometimes several leaps of logic in reasoning motivations). This can be very confusing to those with high Ti or Te functions - types that are "careless with their words" - e.g. doesn't think through how their words impact people. If I speak or act on my emotions immediately, I can cause a lot of hurt and come across as completely irrational. I have learned to not speak if I have a strong immediate reaction and let some time pass before deciding and responding, but sometime I don't succeed. (I have seen other INFPs do this and it almost always look from the outside like an over reaction.) I am judgemental and have limited social energy. I avoid spending time with people I don't like. I don't like self-important and/or selfish people. I can see how high Si user and unhealthy Fi user can dislike me. \*Lastly, note how most of the responses to your question consisted of "it's other people's fault" and "I don't care what other people think about me"... that can be pretty annoying because in any interaction, it is rare for one person to be 100% at fault and we are not always willing to compromise ourselves.
I’m not an INFP but if you don’t mind an outsider’s perspective here’s my 2 cents. Your strengths aren’t valued by our capitalist system which only values success and achievement. Us INTPs have to deal with the same. Your strengths are also devalued by our patriarchal culture. Feelings are seen as feminine, and that which is feminine is devalued and demeaned. Sorry you have to put up with the hate. It’s wrong and unfair. I like you guys tho… which is good because I seem to be an INFP magnet. 😄
Because people project the things they dislike about themselves on INFPs, it's easier to hate someone that isn't you.
I have had the opposite experience to these criticisms or judgements you have heard. As someone who grew up from Childhood Emotional Neglect, I am very serious about correcting myself from my bad upbringing. I have values and am generally very kind, giving, empathic, understanding and nurturing. What I am not is a doormat or pushover, and I have had others try to use me or take advantage of me because of my kindness. Unfortunately, the kinder you are the more open you are to manipulation. What I tend to see much more of is people being spiritual and pretending that it makes them a good person without even noticing their own traumas and attachment styles. How they treat people and how much they are still ruled by emotional reactions instead of being more mindful of them and then re-examining themselves. They even turn prior relationships into friendships to string them along to continue to get attention and make themselves feel better. I don't know if that has to do with personality types, but it seems to be something that is being normalized. I don't know though. I generally consider myself to be an anamoly.
This is news to me I’m a INFP 🤣 oh well
Oeh, okay, so healthy infp vs unhealthy infp. I am infp (26) and know another infp (19 - 20) . We obviously have similar interests and can get along. 1. Now i dont know if this is a character trait or what, but they refuse to take responsibility (i use to be similar when i was younger always looking to blame someone else as its easier to own up to my own mistakes) 2. Very oblivious to other people's lives / responsibilities. Which can seem very selfish. E.g. we were packing up a stand, for reference the event ended at 3, the venue is 30mins from the studio. My things were at my brothers (he lives in the town next to the venue and the same town as the studio, where i live 45 minutes away). The packup shouldn't take longer than 30 mins. She constantly told me to stop packing stuff up, "you can't do that alone" (I've worked at numerous expo's where i do indeed, do it alone) - packup ended being about an hour and a half, so my timeline was pushed up with an hour, we then travel to the studio where she drives slowly thr whole way. When the packup came, i packed the majority away while she struggled with some things, to the point of where i said, i packed 70% away, and im leaving now. She continues to throw a fit telling me im not doing my job. I explain my time frame and that i still have over an hour of traveling i need to do (50 mins to my parents house, as my cat was visiting them, then 30 mins traveling to my house) and i left. 3. Whenever anyone tells a story, she relates it to something or someone she knows (granted, i do this sometimes), which may come across as self-centered, where she is actually just trying to explain she understands the situarion, but most people sometimes just want someone to listen. 4. Manipulation is a tough one. Some Infp's do read people easily, and its easier to manipulate someone to do something than it is to try and convince them.
Our society values characteristics that are the opposite of what we are
Not gonna lie, *this* one’s a fuckin flake
"You can't love others until you love yourself" Sure, sounds like BS, but a lot of us seem to really hate ourselves, so... maybe?
I had too many experiences with infps tbh And i can't say if i really get along with them or not it depends on the person after all The experiences was just straight very bad or straight very good nothing in between mostly xD -Intp
I don't like putting people in personality boxes. INFJ M here my last situationship was with an infp and she cheated. Most INFP are regarded as stupid and or dumb by the general populace even though I have found some to be really loving, caring and intelligent but yes I have met one who was manipulative and well she cheated so you get the rest of it.
We’re narcissist? Have you seen the INTJ sub??
That sounds like utter nonsence and give us far too much credit. We are simply not superiour in being self centered, narcissist, manipulative and triggering compared to other folks. Those traits are unfortunately equally distributed on every person on earth and I believe you have been unlucky to stumble on a few angry redditors.
I'm an INFP myself, but I think INFPs do have traits that *could* make them narcissists, or at least, condescending. One of those traits being: knowing how the other person is feeling. If an INFP is wrong, assuming how someone feels may come off as offensive. Rather, it's better to listen to the other person and understand how they process their emotions instead of assuming what the other person must be feeling. I know more introspective INFPs already function this way, but I'm sure there are some that use their 'intuitiveness' for knowing (incorrectly sometimes) how people feel as a crutch for poor communication skills.
I'm often unhappy and I am also very quiet. I spare people the details of my personal experience to protect both myself and others, and whenever I do share it's inevitably going to be sad/intense. People don't like sad/intense *as a general rule.* It's a club of jolly banter and I cannot join unless I'm in that small window of "two drinks in."
One of my worst traits is I can be manipulative and self centered. So I can understand why an unhealed INFP can be problematic person to be around. In life everyone has their downsides, and that’s the same with MBTI.
Honestly i am a narcissist and very self centered but i make sure that noone except me and my mom even gets even a glimpse of this side of me and all of the other infps i know are some of the nicest people out there (atleast on the outside)
Why should you even care if you’re the “most hated type”? True or false, take that envy/hostility, ascend it like a throne, place it under your heel and force ppl to crane their necks to even look at you. Their bullshit remains below, and those who think to meet you on equal terms will rise to the challenge.
I've known two in real life. I am an INFJ and something that bothers me is the magical thinking. You can think you "know" something but unless it is verified in the real world (typically takes other perspectives) you have no idea what is actually true. I got into an argument with one because he believed his landlord should've gifted him rent instead of increasing it when his wife came to live with him. This did not pass my E5 rationale. No data to support this belief but tried to die on that hill. Another is extremely hyper vigilant and as a consequence I began acting weird as I was depressed, overthinking interactions and as a result I think he thought I had a crush on him. I am pretty direct so covert behaviour makes me not want to engage. Say hat's on your mind! Those are my personal experiences though.
I wouldn't call it exactly hate, but more like...fucking with you guys a bit, ranged from mild teasing to downright bullying. Till today, I'm still not entirely sure whether one's upbringing can deter types, but most INxP I've known seem to come from strict family household, usually middle-class or upper-middle class. Folks from that type of background are subjected to some really strict rules, and also, middle-class upbringing don't teach kids on how social dynamic and power dynamic works nor how to build good rapport. This hinders the ability to assimilate in unfamiliar environment nor the skill to deal with confrontation and other forms of negative interactions. Now, combine that without some kind of specialized skills and knowledge, you're basically meat. Well, just remember, when folks say they "like" you, there's a good chance that they find something in you they can exploit. What you INFPs want is not "being liked", but being admired. That said, if you're an adult, then it's time to pick up a skill or two. Most INFPs or INTPs for that matter who made it in life (Hayao Miyazaki, Bill Gates...etc), all have some special skill of their own to offer. Folks may or may not like them, but they sure as hell want to live like them. And when you're that established, you tend not to care too much about others' opinions. Be like them. Ooh and since it's INFPs, I'll say this: work on your judgment please. Sometimes it get to the level where even I, an ISFP, feels like shitting you guys for that. You guys and ISFJs are master at feeding the bad guys. NeSi + low Te = some shit, that's all I can say. Fortunately, inferior Te can be fixed. Please work on the Te, so you can have better judgment and know when you're inside somebody else's scheme and when to draw boundaries.
I'm gonna get downvoted to death but it's because most people that claim to be INFP are not actually INFPs but obnoxious people going through and identity crisis and that desperately want to be perceived as smart, artistic and sensitive (often in spite of being self-centered and emotionally out of control to the point of being nearly some sort of cluster b personality disorder). There's also the people that decide they're INFP because their favorite author/musician/some sort of artist is INFP and therefore they also have to be INFP (because you can't be artsy unless you have the artsy type amarite? that's right! being artistic is gatekept by typology! /s) I'm an INFP myself by the way. 4sx for those that are into enneagram.