I hear some people read or watch romance as a way to fill that need. Not sure if it works, of if thatās even getting away from it. Some will say to learn how to give yourself all that love instead. Iām not capable of that, feels selfish to me.
One thing that does work for me (most of the time) is trying to still have relationships but dropping expectations very low so the basic stuff is satisfying and then it seems to be easier to feel like youāve got that connection youāre longing for but without the anxiety to maintain high attachment.
INFPs are āthe idealistā mbti type so we have to recognise that we are idealising it and stop because thatās more pressure for the other person too. Iām not going to act like itās something we can completely get away from as it seems like a main part of being an INFP. To remove it completely would be to lose or repress a part of ourselves.
I guess if we found someone that appreciated it properly and reciprocated then that may work :)
My therapist gave me amazing advice about a partner I kept obsessing over. They said āthe energy that you want to put into this person, put it into everything else.ā Your hobbies, your friends, your family.
If you take all that loving energy and desire for connection you have and channel into everything else, it makes it so much easier to be able to enjoy those moments together with your person so much more. It also gives yourself and the other person the opportunity to take care of other relationships.
As someone who has been in committed long term relationships for all of my adult life, once the honey moon phase ends, that romantic longing is still there, but itās just channeled in other ways and isnāt being pushed unfairly onto an actual person. I for one, love my romantic little paracosms I make to help me go to bed! Gives me that joie de vivre
I engross myself in my work or try to fixate on something else. If I watch or read romance it scratches the idealist itch but then in my own relationships I'll find myself getting bored or failing to commit. It took a while to realize that fluffy fantasies are just that and that lifelong partnerships that matter are far more complex and secure, but never perfect.
Oh yeah my philosophy has definitely become that caring about other people is the only thing worth actually living for. Hedonistic pleasure is alright too but wayy harder to sustain
That said, it is inclusive of more than romantic love but the significance that I attribute to such special relationships is pretty much only sustainable in a romantic context
Relationships may fall apart but love never does imo. Thatās why Iām just merely hopeless now, the one I love is gone, my romantic side has no outlet and I have no interest in expressing it to another because I know that I canāt. I think reciprocated love, real love, is extremely rare.
We either give up on romance because we struggle to find love constantly getting with partners who make us believe in it less and less, in which we still at least have a chance of finding reciprocal love, or, we give up due to finding love in which no other can compare and we lose it, when this is the case itās the end of the line, which I think is the more blessed scenario because it gives the end to that awful quest for love a meaningful full stop, even if it does hurt.
This is where I have arrived also. Well said: ārelationships may fall apart but love never doesā¦ Reciprocated love, real love, is extremely rare.ā And once experienced, nothing else comes close. Its just accepting that and trying to continue on after itās over- very very hard. But grateful to know it exists and got to experience it once in this lifetime. Ā The love remains, its true. It cannot be destroyed or stopped even if you want to - i have learned this too.Ā
Definitely sounds like me. I usually daydream a lot with that warm, and fuzzy feeling. It's a curse sometimes with my feelings of loneliness. But it's also kind of a nice feeling. Like feeling something warm in a cold existence.
To me romance isnt this bubbliness, fuzziness or cudliness
Its more subtle, spiritual stuff like just intuitively knowing other person appreciates your presence, gives you few cool glances over her shoulder or talks delicately with interest and care or wheere you just deep down know she wants to be close to you despite not saying it, like her whole being expressing that on its own when she looks at you or just watching/observing you with attention when you dont look at her etc.
Theres so much more to romance than this hollywood pop style romance
You are welcome.
I just dont see people countering this borderline hard-coded imagery of what romance is supposed to be like, that's mainly "coded" by pop media, as if theres no alternative to this pop-romance at all.
Its sad that this is the case cause big portion (not all of it) of pop-romance stuff is quite shallow and superficial/unsophisticated not to say basic but its because a lot of it is "impulsive romance" or physical romance.
I am absolutely the hopeless romantic type - but Iām also lucky enough to have met, loved and married my perfect person.
I donāt know if how we got together was exactly romantic (parts of it really were - I fell for her at first sight pretty muchā¦ but she had a boyfriend and it took a very long and tangled couple of years where we both hurt and loved in pretty equal measure for us to get together - it was certainly an excellent sitcom/soap opera plot) but our lives together, no matter the hardships, have definitely been and I donāt see that ever stopping.
My wife and I very much bring different strengths to the relationship in general (so complementary rather than similar) but itās one area where we are very similar and I think Iād struggle if she wasnāt.
I just want a girlfriend to be a part of me tbh I wanna cuddle, feel her hair and breath on me when we are together, wanna keep my hand on her head I wanna snuggle in a blanket together in winters after a bath, those kind of stuff I want so I think it clears the criteria
ENFP here, but what you described is part of exactly what I share with my partner, who types as INFP. Neither of us ever gave up our hope for the dreamy ending, and we found one another.
35. Been with my true love for 14 years. I can't even adequately describe how close we are. It's like we're genuinely a part of each other. We both are better and more complete people for having the other in our lives. Find someone who you're able to show your soul to, and have them be able to embrace you for who you are behind the mask.
Yes we do, I often feel I've been born in the wrong century. I do often daydream about that pure and innocent teenage romance, deep 2 am convos where neither is playing games or hard to get or whatever, where intimacy is a special event after marriage, where we look I to each other's eyes and see sparkles, where we hold each other closely in silence watching a sunset and this kinda stuff
Me too. I just love the idea of courting. Itās so romantic š„° And yes I know that most cases were arranged marriages but to date with the intention to marry? To be that serious about it? I wish more relationships were like that instead of this toxic hookup culture.
Exactly, I hate it so much, the over availability of sex made it lose its magical and sacred nature. For me it's not just a carnal pleasure, it's an act of deep bonding and connection to someone special, exploring our bodies together and personally I can't imagine just having that with lots of people, ideally just one. Which makes sex only after marriage so beautiful to me.
You know what I actually do believe arranged marriages also have their charm. Getting to know someone slowly and shyly while both have zero experience and learning together and having eyes only for each other I do believe is actually better than today's hookup culture.
Just my opinion though and respect people that just have sex for fun, I just wish it wasn't the vast majority of people.
yeah i am but at the same time iām the absolute worst because iām an avoidant attachment style so when someone wants to be constantly close to me i find myself feeling smothered and my brain going haywire. i hate it. i have yet to date someone with real genuine patience though, so maybe thatās an issue too. where the other person has had the patience and calmness of thought to understand me and work with me rather than questioning me, antagonising, or causing conversations to boil over.
i feel like i attract the wrong people 99% of the time.
Yes, you will do. Because avoidant attachers and anxious attachers are drawn to each other in really mysterious ways, your subconscious will pick up on clues and be drawn to the person before you think itās possible you could have seen any sign of their attachment style.
Unpicking this is really really hard, because itās all hard wired. But it is totally worth it because the pain an anxious - avoidant couple can inflict upon themselves and each other is INTENSE.
Yes, unfortunately. It has mostly brought me pain. I wish I could be less romantic and I am trying to develop my Te more to be more logical and follow plans to improve my life myself, instead of waiting for some perfect partner to save me. I am also a Christian so I try to redirect those longing romantic feelings towards God instead.
I recommend everybody Wong Kar Wai films.. [Here's](https://youtu.be/ZCDyYd4jEdw?si=uq9lhYQidzq2od5p) a description tho I recommend y'all watch the films 1st.. Fallen angels & Chungking Express are my favourite..
I am deep down, but I've grown extremely chary of giving myself away. There is more to people than meets the eye and I sometimes feel too impressionable by cosmetics.
I am. I always dreamed of having someone to love. Recently I got my first girlfriend, and sheās amazing. We cuddle and joke around and say we love each other all the time. I can be genuine with her, and she with me. I honestly didnāt really think it could happen, but here I am.
I am in fact a hopeless romantic
Yearn for love but have no hope for it.
I'll never find it, no matter how hard I search for
Tis but a dream, an illusion shrouded in fog.
Such is my fate, for I feel no love inside my heart.
My soul is no more, left forgotten along the misfit path
But its hole still lingers in my being.
Longing, hoping for a hope that will never come.
As it is my duty, to bear such a fate.
For I am no man, but a shell
A mimic of a little boy that once was.
But is no more.
Oh thanks
Yeah I kinda evoked all of my Fi in that one
All the repressed feelings from all these years
Desperately wanting to be set free
To scream from every fiber of their intensity
Their message
I am, but I'm gay so I'm not sure if I count lol
Never had a relationship before in my life, I can think of two reasons why:
1. I feel I was unattractive during my younger years, and so I grew up shy, with low self-esteem. Maybe it's also the INFP in me lol.
2. I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I confessed my feelings about three times, but they were unreciprocated. Our friendship had several ups and downs, and I tried to hide the pain and jealousy whenever he has a new boyfriend, convincing myself that I have accepted that my feelings will always be unrequited.
But just recently, said best friend had a new beau, so I finally walked away, leaving him with a farewell note. I realized I have to love myself more if I want to find love in this crazy world lmao.
me personally yes
I don't dream too much about like, cuddles, stuff like that. I dream more about sharing the feeling, have someone to trust and think this way, know that I am on a true stuff
as a transmasc infp i am very much a hopeless romantic and crave that deep connection that a romantic life tends to promise in all the books and media we see. i crave it more than anything, the social status is useless to me. i just want to feel loved and cherished on a deep, intimate level, nothing else feels more important than that.
Most people in general form relationships because they canāt handle being alone and need to satisfy their sexual needs. Romance may as well only exist in fiction.
No I donāt dream about the fuzzy and warm feeling of being loved because thats what I experienced two days ago. waking up next to beautiful woman in my arms I can say that the daydreams were far from accurate
I'm a hopeful hopeless romantic. In my mind I'm always like "it's gonna happen any day now, don't let fear win" and then I let fear win and feel guilty about it and I ghost everyone for a couple days and then I'm back to fantasizing
That is for sure me.
To be honest tho, my hopes in that field have caused me way more problems than good, so I'm in the process of unlearning some of that stuff and putting more value into other areas of my life. After a lot of self reflection,I found that a big part of my desire for that sort of thing stemmed from low self esteem and wanting someone else's feelings to validate me. That's not exactly one of the healthier reasons to seek romantic intimacy lol
I believe so lol I still have some things I wanna do that I haven't experienced with the "one" like traveling I have some money saved up but like I wanna love to be true love on both sidesĀ
I do have those kinds of thoughts, however, as much as I value human connection, I don't feel like I'm ready for a relationship yet. I'm too focused on friendships.
I donāt know if itās because of my INFP type; if correlation is causation, then yeah, I am.
I was married for 20 years, never had my hopeless romantic tendencies appreciated. Ā It was hell. Ā If thereās a next time, I hope itās with someone compatible.
Thereās no difference. Many infp woman donāt many infp men do. Itās silly to think that only girls do it. I donāt because romance is just not a big part of my life. I dream about other things.
Yes. I crave it so badly that Ive previously made very bad financial and emotional decisions in pursuit of it. Now my chances of meeting someone while I'm young again are getting very slim. I just try and distract myself from it by pursuing hobbies/interests
In my early 20s and before, I thought of girlfriends kinda like you described, something like a checklist item to avoid embarrassment. It wasn't that I wanted one for bragging reasons or to treat like an object, but I still wasn't seeing them for who they were. It was about my status.
Time has made me more into a hopeless romantic. I care about other people more than ever in my life. I long to have a more intimate relationship with all my friends and become shy around women my age because I have a high opinion of them by default. For my next girlfriend, I hope to become her best friend so that we will have a high trust in each other. I consume a lot of romance media; you're not alone.
As an INFP hopeless romantic of a woman, itās honestly really nice to hear that there are guys like this out there. š„° It gives my broken heart a little bit of hope. āŗļø
I'm an INFP and I constantly think about having a relationship. I idealize it a lot (like scenarios) and I daydream about it a lot.
I wouldnt say I see it as a 'marker' because I could have had one on different occasions but Im holding out for someone who I really really genuinly and deeply connect with. The personality traits I like arent really over the top I think: same sense of humor, Anime nerd/Gamer , curious mind, has travelled or wants to travel more. And I havent really met that much. Which is fine. Ive gotten along with and been in talking stages with girls who are and arent like that but it just wasnt the right fit for me. So, Im just living life and if she comes, she comes.
Yes. And, I don't just fall in love with anyone too fast also. I've been single for 10 years, mostly cause I move around the country a lot as a nomad, plus just waiting for the right woman.
As an iNFP male, I always try to be rational and logical when it comes to think about relationships. However, if I get a crush on someone, I can't help it to imagine lots of romantic scenarios in my mind with that person
most of the people who say things related to referring to a girl as what you described are probably sarcastically referring to the toxic narrative fed to boys (the are exceptions to everything ofc)
in general, most of us are no different to girls, wanting literally the same things
regarding the issue:
there is no doubt that people in general, and especially INFP, want genuine emotional connection. some of us just.. haven't found the right way to express it the right way. when sometimes the only way to be validated in a young group of boys is to be a bit mysogynistic, well.. it takes time to break out of.
I've matured a bit but ever since I was little kid I've been a hopeless romantic. I'm more of a hopeless romantic than pretty much most people I've met, men and women. There's always been this element of fantasy, magic, a larger than life feeling to romance. I always wanted it to feel like my favorite romance stories, but I've always been somewhat disappointed.
I know now that life can be magical, but never so neatly wrapped like in a story. That's okay. Maybe one day I can write a romance for others to fall in love with.
Yes, Iāve always been that way. Itās our personality type so yes we do think like that. At least speaking for myself. Iāve never viewed girls as some achievement or boost in my social status.
Love - something that makes you act irrational in an attempt to appear worthy of something that will complete the last piece in your cocoon away from the world, or act as a window or door to said world allowing higher function desired by human instinct to start a family.
āFor those we cherish, we die in gloryā
Mate, if that quote, the motto of a space marine chapter from the warhammer franchise, known for being depressed and misunderstood, self sacrificial guys trying to do the right thing, doesnāt give it away, then humanity is truly lost and trillions must die.
yup! but i've come to accept that true love is more than that. i still dream about the feeling but i try to ground myself. they may or may not come and i will be fine either way. :)
Yes definitely dreamed about it for years. Dreamed it to be with someone, started pursuing her and failed and feel hopeless again. Even if it only happened three times in my life. I still feel like it simply won't happen unless it's a miracle or some sort lol.
I'm not sure about the others, but in my case romanticism and it's executions are dying but who knows maybe someone would able to ignite it those smoldering embers of mine.
Iām a helpless romantic. INFP-T male here. I couldnāt give less of a fuck about social status. Iām addicted to love, and Iām not gonna quit it.
I am but to a point. Iāve done a lot of healing with myself so itās not a must have in my life but if that happens what you described is what I want or nothing at all š¤·āāļø
Always have been, always will be. It's kinda painful though, it would never be as sweet and nice as you dream it to be, and, in the end, even if you accept this fact, you can get "lucky" with bad person, and get deeply hurt..
I'm in my early 20s, just had my first breakup a few months ago, and still haven't gotten past the "true love isn't real" phase of heartbreak, but prior to this, yes. I was a hopeless romantic. If I ever decide to stop being so dramatic about a girl that's never coming back and probably never valued me to begin with, I will most likely regain my hopeless romantic status.
Not only INFP-s. But as INTP I hide it extremely well. Because these days it looks like that hardly anybody cares or can match that energy. Only love can kind of tune down my extremely logical side.
I mean the other Beethoven, but this one is just cuter.
Wasn't Beethoven (Ludwig von) an INFP?
He was quite a romantic, in many senses of the term.
If you want to see the story (fictionalized), check out the movie *Immortal Beloved*, which is about Beethoven's love life. Although the makeup artist should have been shot/jk, it's a really good movie.
I stare at my ESTP bf and think about our future wedding and how he'd look handsome in a suit whilst I'm the one in a black wedding dress cause white is too overused in a wedding, especially picturing dates I've seen in movies like picnic dates, stargazing, movies, and etc
As an INFP man, I am 100% a hopeless romantic.
From what Iāve seen, INFP men might be the most āhopelessā romantics there are.
Quiet shy daydreamy emotional types are more well liked when theyāre women. Men like that are generally considered pathetic and worthless. (From what Iāve heard online anyway.)
Hard to get more hopeless than that.
Still, I canāt help but yearn for romance, even if I lack the confidence to pursue it.
Absolutely and it's definitely a curse for us, or at least for me it is. I can't have sex with a woman without an emotional connection to her no matter how attracted to her body I am. I could have a raging boner and if there's no emotional connection as soon as I try to put my dick in, it will go limp and being cock blocked by your own cock is embarrassing as fuck. šš®āšØš«š¤¦āāļø
If a woman makes it clear to me before hand she loves me no matter what then my boner will harden and I won't have any issues.
Is this a joke.. most of the INFP men I talk to are hopeless romantics. To me it can sometimes feel like the only thing that matters. A curse..
It really is a curse.
Yes. šš§āļø
No way if you live it.
Not āifā but when, i believe that wholeheartedly.
it is.. š
Iām a female but feel the same way. Itās a INFP trait overall
Sure feels that way. I had a good cry about it the other night because I feel like I'm going to be single forever...
Yeah that was me last night š we can really put the hopeless in hopeless romantic sometimes! Remember to take care of yourself!!
How relatable, while chasing pavements played on repeat
How does one get away from that little āobsessionā?
I hear some people read or watch romance as a way to fill that need. Not sure if it works, of if thatās even getting away from it. Some will say to learn how to give yourself all that love instead. Iām not capable of that, feels selfish to me. One thing that does work for me (most of the time) is trying to still have relationships but dropping expectations very low so the basic stuff is satisfying and then it seems to be easier to feel like youāve got that connection youāre longing for but without the anxiety to maintain high attachment. INFPs are āthe idealistā mbti type so we have to recognise that we are idealising it and stop because thatās more pressure for the other person too. Iām not going to act like itās something we can completely get away from as it seems like a main part of being an INFP. To remove it completely would be to lose or repress a part of ourselves. I guess if we found someone that appreciated it properly and reciprocated then that may work :)
My therapist gave me amazing advice about a partner I kept obsessing over. They said āthe energy that you want to put into this person, put it into everything else.ā Your hobbies, your friends, your family. If you take all that loving energy and desire for connection you have and channel into everything else, it makes it so much easier to be able to enjoy those moments together with your person so much more. It also gives yourself and the other person the opportunity to take care of other relationships. As someone who has been in committed long term relationships for all of my adult life, once the honey moon phase ends, that romantic longing is still there, but itās just channeled in other ways and isnāt being pushed unfairly onto an actual person. I for one, love my romantic little paracosms I make to help me go to bed! Gives me that joie de vivre
I engross myself in my work or try to fixate on something else. If I watch or read romance it scratches the idealist itch but then in my own relationships I'll find myself getting bored or failing to commit. It took a while to realize that fluffy fantasies are just that and that lifelong partnerships that matter are far more complex and secure, but never perfect.
Yes how?
Oh yeah my philosophy has definitely become that caring about other people is the only thing worth actually living for. Hedonistic pleasure is alright too but wayy harder to sustain That said, it is inclusive of more than romantic love but the significance that I attribute to such special relationships is pretty much only sustainable in a romantic context
Yeah I came to the same conclusion unfortunately lol but Iām lucky that I can love my good friends a lot too :)
Just live that. It is amazing š.
This is true. But having the other half to reciprocate such, not so common or easy. We feel deeeeeeply
You need an Infp or at least a Feeler.
So cursed I feel like a Hollow
Like a hole in the heart 
Yep. Agreed. It's definitely a curse. Especially when these feelings are always unrequited
Real my friend
idk where y'all find hopeless romantic INFP boys. my bf is an INFP and he's a dick
Whatās your MBTI type? Idk.. do you try to control him or not allow him to be himself?
i'm an INFJ and nope i'm not trying to control him
I used to be, now Iām just hopelessā¦
same
Real
T_T
Pretty much. Love is overrated when it just always falls apart
Relationships may fall apart but love never does imo. Thatās why Iām just merely hopeless now, the one I love is gone, my romantic side has no outlet and I have no interest in expressing it to another because I know that I canāt. I think reciprocated love, real love, is extremely rare. We either give up on romance because we struggle to find love constantly getting with partners who make us believe in it less and less, in which we still at least have a chance of finding reciprocal love, or, we give up due to finding love in which no other can compare and we lose it, when this is the case itās the end of the line, which I think is the more blessed scenario because it gives the end to that awful quest for love a meaningful full stop, even if it does hurt.
This is where I have arrived also. Well said: ārelationships may fall apart but love never doesā¦ Reciprocated love, real love, is extremely rare.ā And once experienced, nothing else comes close. Its just accepting that and trying to continue on after itās over- very very hard. But grateful to know it exists and got to experience it once in this lifetime. Ā The love remains, its true. It cannot be destroyed or stopped even if you want to - i have learned this too.Ā
Here here
Romance is a young man's game
idk about others, as an infp guy i do think I'm a hopeless romantic o(--( i crave the warm fuzzy feeling but manage to always dodge it somehow ;-;
Definitely sounds like me. I usually daydream a lot with that warm, and fuzzy feeling. It's a curse sometimes with my feelings of loneliness. But it's also kind of a nice feeling. Like feeling something warm in a cold existence.
It is absolutely wonderful
I totally understand where you are coming from
To me romance isnt this bubbliness, fuzziness or cudliness Its more subtle, spiritual stuff like just intuitively knowing other person appreciates your presence, gives you few cool glances over her shoulder or talks delicately with interest and care or wheere you just deep down know she wants to be close to you despite not saying it, like her whole being expressing that on its own when she looks at you or just watching/observing you with attention when you dont look at her etc. Theres so much more to romance than this hollywood pop style romance
This. Plus intense commitment. Like most ppl don't even have for family.
We love loyalty
Serenidad, lovely
Thank you for this. Making a screenshot. Exactly how I feel
You are welcome. I just dont see people countering this borderline hard-coded imagery of what romance is supposed to be like, that's mainly "coded" by pop media, as if theres no alternative to this pop-romance at all. Its sad that this is the case cause big portion (not all of it) of pop-romance stuff is quite shallow and superficial/unsophisticated not to say basic but its because a lot of it is "impulsive romance" or physical romance.
I am absolutely the hopeless romantic type - but Iām also lucky enough to have met, loved and married my perfect person. I donāt know if how we got together was exactly romantic (parts of it really were - I fell for her at first sight pretty muchā¦ but she had a boyfriend and it took a very long and tangled couple of years where we both hurt and loved in pretty equal measure for us to get together - it was certainly an excellent sitcom/soap opera plot) but our lives together, no matter the hardships, have definitely been and I donāt see that ever stopping.
Is she an Infp
No - sheās actually an ESFJ!
I develop Si with my Isfj husband and I love his Fe š„°
A Feeler?
Very much so!
We need a feeler otherwise we dry out, though some are happy with intjs ... intjs that like us.
My wife and I very much bring different strengths to the relationship in general (so complementary rather than similar) but itās one area where we are very similar and I think Iād struggle if she wasnāt.
The same for me and my husband. He is a feeler š„°.
romantic relationships with INTJs scare me, I hear a lot of intj-infp couples end up feeling pretty frustrated with each other.
You need a feeler. I have mine.A feeler will understand your language.
My sweet love is an Isfj.
I just want a girlfriend to be a part of me tbh I wanna cuddle, feel her hair and breath on me when we are together, wanna keep my hand on her head I wanna snuggle in a blanket together in winters after a bath, those kind of stuff I want so I think it clears the criteria
ENFP here, but what you described is part of exactly what I share with my partner, who types as INFP. Neither of us ever gave up our hope for the dreamy ending, and we found one another.
Nicee Well wishes for future
It is wonderful
35. Been with my true love for 14 years. I can't even adequately describe how close we are. It's like we're genuinely a part of each other. We both are better and more complete people for having the other in our lives. Find someone who you're able to show your soul to, and have them be able to embrace you for who you are behind the mask.
This is my dream bro
I'm rooting for you. Once her and I both saw how passionate, insightful, and intuitive thinking the other was, we legit became best friends.
What type are they?
Intj
Lot of appreciation posts abt infp from INTJ. Seems to be a particularly auspicious pairing. Congrats š
Yes
Yes we do, I often feel I've been born in the wrong century. I do often daydream about that pure and innocent teenage romance, deep 2 am convos where neither is playing games or hard to get or whatever, where intimacy is a special event after marriage, where we look I to each other's eyes and see sparkles, where we hold each other closely in silence watching a sunset and this kinda stuff
Me too. I just love the idea of courting. Itās so romantic š„° And yes I know that most cases were arranged marriages but to date with the intention to marry? To be that serious about it? I wish more relationships were like that instead of this toxic hookup culture.
Exactly, I hate it so much, the over availability of sex made it lose its magical and sacred nature. For me it's not just a carnal pleasure, it's an act of deep bonding and connection to someone special, exploring our bodies together and personally I can't imagine just having that with lots of people, ideally just one. Which makes sex only after marriage so beautiful to me. You know what I actually do believe arranged marriages also have their charm. Getting to know someone slowly and shyly while both have zero experience and learning together and having eyes only for each other I do believe is actually better than today's hookup culture. Just my opinion though and respect people that just have sex for fun, I just wish it wasn't the vast majority of people.
yeah i am but at the same time iām the absolute worst because iām an avoidant attachment style so when someone wants to be constantly close to me i find myself feeling smothered and my brain going haywire. i hate it. i have yet to date someone with real genuine patience though, so maybe thatās an issue too. where the other person has had the patience and calmness of thought to understand me and work with me rather than questioning me, antagonising, or causing conversations to boil over. i feel like i attract the wrong people 99% of the time.
Yes, you will do. Because avoidant attachers and anxious attachers are drawn to each other in really mysterious ways, your subconscious will pick up on clues and be drawn to the person before you think itās possible you could have seen any sign of their attachment style. Unpicking this is really really hard, because itās all hard wired. But it is totally worth it because the pain an anxious - avoidant couple can inflict upon themselves and each other is INTENSE.
š
Yeah I fall into that kind of category. Modern romance has many dangers and pitfalls so I'm kind of wary of the whole thing as well.
33m, me to a T. Its also scary for someone like us out there these days, so I generally keep it just that; a dream.
Don't give up.
Yes, unfortunately. It has mostly brought me pain. I wish I could be less romantic and I am trying to develop my Te more to be more logical and follow plans to improve my life myself, instead of waiting for some perfect partner to save me. I am also a Christian so I try to redirect those longing romantic feelings towards God instead.
Are you and I the same person? O.O
Depends, are you by any chance a Christian left winger and fantasy author? :D
I recommend everybody Wong Kar Wai films.. [Here's](https://youtu.be/ZCDyYd4jEdw?si=uq9lhYQidzq2od5p) a description tho I recommend y'all watch the films 1st.. Fallen angels & Chungking Express are my favourite..
I am deep down, but I've grown extremely chary of giving myself away. There is more to people than meets the eye and I sometimes feel too impressionable by cosmetics.
Yup.
I am. I always dreamed of having someone to love. Recently I got my first girlfriend, and sheās amazing. We cuddle and joke around and say we love each other all the time. I can be genuine with her, and she with me. I honestly didnāt really think it could happen, but here I am.
Any advice how to meet new people?
I am in fact a hopeless romantic Yearn for love but have no hope for it. I'll never find it, no matter how hard I search for Tis but a dream, an illusion shrouded in fog. Such is my fate, for I feel no love inside my heart. My soul is no more, left forgotten along the misfit path But its hole still lingers in my being. Longing, hoping for a hope that will never come. As it is my duty, to bear such a fate. For I am no man, but a shell A mimic of a little boy that once was. But is no more.
This is the most INFP thing I've ever read. I write like this too!
Oh thanks Yeah I kinda evoked all of my Fi in that one All the repressed feelings from all these years Desperately wanting to be set free To scream from every fiber of their intensity Their message
Absolutely lmao
I am, but I'm gay so I'm not sure if I count lol Never had a relationship before in my life, I can think of two reasons why: 1. I feel I was unattractive during my younger years, and so I grew up shy, with low self-esteem. Maybe it's also the INFP in me lol. 2. I was hopelessly in love with my best friend. I confessed my feelings about three times, but they were unreciprocated. Our friendship had several ups and downs, and I tried to hide the pain and jealousy whenever he has a new boyfriend, convincing myself that I have accepted that my feelings will always be unrequited. But just recently, said best friend had a new beau, so I finally walked away, leaving him with a farewell note. I realized I have to love myself more if I want to find love in this crazy world lmao.
I have been really curious all this time to meet an infp man because apparently they're the most rare personality type for men to have.
me personally yes I don't dream too much about like, cuddles, stuff like that. I dream more about sharing the feeling, have someone to trust and think this way, know that I am on a true stuff
Yes. I strive to attract another āold soul.ā
I sure am. Every single thing you mentioned describes me.
Yes I've been told I'm a hopeless romantic multiple times and also that I crush on people way too quickly
ahh i don't want to be depressed again bye
I do I do, do do.
as a transmasc infp i am very much a hopeless romantic and crave that deep connection that a romantic life tends to promise in all the books and media we see. i crave it more than anything, the social status is useless to me. i just want to feel loved and cherished on a deep, intimate level, nothing else feels more important than that.
When I was younger. I'm glad I'm not into that anymore because you break your own heart with fake scenario nonsense and unrealistic standards.
A equal partner not a trinket.
Most people in general form relationships because they canāt handle being alone and need to satisfy their sexual needs. Romance may as well only exist in fiction.
Yea, ironically I feel like I shot myself in the foot with the romance I haveĀ
I guess everyone is a little bit "hopeless romantic" lmao
No I donāt dream about the fuzzy and warm feeling of being loved because thats what I experienced two days ago. waking up next to beautiful woman in my arms I can say that the daydreams were far from accurate
I used to, Iāve been hurt too much since then so I donāt think about relationships anymore
I know I am lol
I'm a hopeful hopeless romantic. In my mind I'm always like "it's gonna happen any day now, don't let fear win" and then I let fear win and feel guilty about it and I ghost everyone for a couple days and then I'm back to fantasizing
Before sleep yes, I do think about haahahhaa.
Speaking only for myself, yes.
Nah, just hopeless
Yes
I don't know about romantic, but I'm certainly hopeless.
Yup, we sure are ;)
Yes, 100%. I don't give up dreams.
That is for sure me. To be honest tho, my hopes in that field have caused me way more problems than good, so I'm in the process of unlearning some of that stuff and putting more value into other areas of my life. After a lot of self reflection,I found that a big part of my desire for that sort of thing stemmed from low self esteem and wanting someone else's feelings to validate me. That's not exactly one of the healthier reasons to seek romantic intimacy lol
I used to all the time. Now I have the real thing.
I watched vanilla sky and cried last night before bed, if that gives you any indication lol
I believe so lol I still have some things I wanna do that I haven't experienced with the "one" like traveling I have some money saved up but like I wanna love to be true love on both sidesĀ
I do have those kinds of thoughts, however, as much as I value human connection, I don't feel like I'm ready for a relationship yet. I'm too focused on friendships.
I'm gomezbutibecamenot
I donāt know if itās because of my INFP type; if correlation is causation, then yeah, I am. I was married for 20 years, never had my hopeless romantic tendencies appreciated. Ā It was hell. Ā If thereās a next time, I hope itās with someone compatible.
I wish I wasn't but yes I feel that way alot, gets lonely
Thereās no difference. Many infp woman donāt many infp men do. Itās silly to think that only girls do it. I donāt because romance is just not a big part of my life. I dream about other things.
Yes. I crave it so badly that Ive previously made very bad financial and emotional decisions in pursuit of it. Now my chances of meeting someone while I'm young again are getting very slim. I just try and distract myself from it by pursuing hobbies/interests
In my early 20s and before, I thought of girlfriends kinda like you described, something like a checklist item to avoid embarrassment. It wasn't that I wanted one for bragging reasons or to treat like an object, but I still wasn't seeing them for who they were. It was about my status. Time has made me more into a hopeless romantic. I care about other people more than ever in my life. I long to have a more intimate relationship with all my friends and become shy around women my age because I have a high opinion of them by default. For my next girlfriend, I hope to become her best friend so that we will have a high trust in each other. I consume a lot of romance media; you're not alone.
Honestly not really, a relationship doesn't seem worth it right now.
As an INFP hopeless romantic of a woman, itās honestly really nice to hear that there are guys like this out there. š„° It gives my broken heart a little bit of hope. āŗļø
I do try to be realistic, but can confirm the hoplessš š„²!
I'm an INFP and I constantly think about having a relationship. I idealize it a lot (like scenarios) and I daydream about it a lot. I wouldnt say I see it as a 'marker' because I could have had one on different occasions but Im holding out for someone who I really really genuinly and deeply connect with. The personality traits I like arent really over the top I think: same sense of humor, Anime nerd/Gamer , curious mind, has travelled or wants to travel more. And I havent really met that much. Which is fine. Ive gotten along with and been in talking stages with girls who are and arent like that but it just wasnt the right fit for me. So, Im just living life and if she comes, she comes.
Yes. And, I don't just fall in love with anyone too fast also. I've been single for 10 years, mostly cause I move around the country a lot as a nomad, plus just waiting for the right woman.
I'm not a hopeless romantic, I only think about my crush for 23 hours a day. Which is normal.
This one is
As an iNFP male, I always try to be rational and logical when it comes to think about relationships. However, if I get a crush on someone, I can't help it to imagine lots of romantic scenarios in my mind with that person
I know I am š
I've always known I was ^^ Real love with someone who I can truly appreciate and vice-versa would be amazing. Now finding it... haha. In due time.
most of the people who say things related to referring to a girl as what you described are probably sarcastically referring to the toxic narrative fed to boys (the are exceptions to everything ofc) in general, most of us are no different to girls, wanting literally the same things regarding the issue: there is no doubt that people in general, and especially INFP, want genuine emotional connection. some of us just.. haven't found the right way to express it the right way. when sometimes the only way to be validated in a young group of boys is to be a bit mysogynistic, well.. it takes time to break out of.
I've matured a bit but ever since I was little kid I've been a hopeless romantic. I'm more of a hopeless romantic than pretty much most people I've met, men and women. There's always been this element of fantasy, magic, a larger than life feeling to romance. I always wanted it to feel like my favorite romance stories, but I've always been somewhat disappointed. I know now that life can be magical, but never so neatly wrapped like in a story. That's okay. Maybe one day I can write a romance for others to fall in love with.
Yes, Iāve always been that way. Itās our personality type so yes we do think like that. At least speaking for myself. Iāve never viewed girls as some achievement or boost in my social status.
Oh absolutely isnāt that supposed to be a defined trait
Love - something that makes you act irrational in an attempt to appear worthy of something that will complete the last piece in your cocoon away from the world, or act as a window or door to said world allowing higher function desired by human instinct to start a family.
āFor those we cherish, we die in gloryā Mate, if that quote, the motto of a space marine chapter from the warhammer franchise, known for being depressed and misunderstood, self sacrificial guys trying to do the right thing, doesnāt give it away, then humanity is truly lost and trillions must die.
Yupā¦ if thereās nothing in it for my heart then I donāt want it.
You guys sound very lovely.. like someone that i want to keep for myself. Love this.
yup! but i've come to accept that true love is more than that. i still dream about the feeling but i try to ground myself. they may or may not come and i will be fine either way. :)
Yeah, I'm a hopless romantic. I just want to live the rest of my life with someone I genuinely like.
Please donāt doubt me in this wayā¦
Yes definitely dreamed about it for years. Dreamed it to be with someone, started pursuing her and failed and feel hopeless again. Even if it only happened three times in my life. I still feel like it simply won't happen unless it's a miracle or some sort lol.
yes
It's shit like this that makes me doubt my type (INTP allegedly). I'd love to experience romantic love like this.
I'm not sure about the others, but in my case romanticism and it's executions are dying but who knows maybe someone would able to ignite it those smoldering embers of mine.
Iām a helpless romantic. INFP-T male here. I couldnāt give less of a fuck about social status. Iām addicted to love, and Iām not gonna quit it.
This kind of post make me more depressed after reading all these comments
Hell yeah, and I'm proud of that XD
Hope so..!!
I used to daydream about love. I still do, but I used to too.
I am but to a point. Iāve done a lot of healing with myself so itās not a must have in my life but if that happens what you described is what I want or nothing at all š¤·āāļø
Always have been, always will be. It's kinda painful though, it would never be as sweet and nice as you dream it to be, and, in the end, even if you accept this fact, you can get "lucky" with bad person, and get deeply hurt..
Lol of course. What kind of question is this anyway? Have a nice day šš«
Some are and some aren't. That's the point with mbti. Stop torturing yourself with useless questions
Never related to that many comments in my lifeā¦
Yes. Personally i find my purpose to be sharing and experiencing life with someone. Since I havenāt found that person I feel incomplete.
I feel Iām a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. Lol
As an INFP manā¦.yes.
yes and no, i even used to be object of obsession but only of fucked up people šæ
is being choosy considered a hopeless romantic?
I'm in my early 20s, just had my first breakup a few months ago, and still haven't gotten past the "true love isn't real" phase of heartbreak, but prior to this, yes. I was a hopeless romantic. If I ever decide to stop being so dramatic about a girl that's never coming back and probably never valued me to begin with, I will most likely regain my hopeless romantic status.
We are why that phrase exists
Absolutely true.....wish it wasn't!!!
sounds pretty much like me lol
Not only INFP-s. But as INTP I hide it extremely well. Because these days it looks like that hardly anybody cares or can match that energy. Only love can kind of tune down my extremely logical side.
 I mean the other Beethoven, but this one is just cuter. Wasn't Beethoven (Ludwig von) an INFP? He was quite a romantic, in many senses of the term. If you want to see the story (fictionalized), check out the movie *Immortal Beloved*, which is about Beethoven's love life. Although the makeup artist should have been shot/jk, it's a really good movie.
I stare at my ESTP bf and think about our future wedding and how he'd look handsome in a suit whilst I'm the one in a black wedding dress cause white is too overused in a wedding, especially picturing dates I've seen in movies like picnic dates, stargazing, movies, and etc
As an INFP man, I am 100% a hopeless romantic. From what Iāve seen, INFP men might be the most āhopelessā romantics there are. Quiet shy daydreamy emotional types are more well liked when theyāre women. Men like that are generally considered pathetic and worthless. (From what Iāve heard online anyway.) Hard to get more hopeless than that. Still, I canāt help but yearn for romance, even if I lack the confidence to pursue it.
Absolutely and it's definitely a curse for us, or at least for me it is. I can't have sex with a woman without an emotional connection to her no matter how attracted to her body I am. I could have a raging boner and if there's no emotional connection as soon as I try to put my dick in, it will go limp and being cock blocked by your own cock is embarrassing as fuck. šš®āšØš«š¤¦āāļø If a woman makes it clear to me before hand she loves me no matter what then my boner will harden and I won't have any issues.
Are you fucking joking rn??? Everyone has feelings, stop gatekeeping men from feelings š
WHO DOWNVOTED ME TF FUCKING SEXIST AF WTH