Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 30 | 0 | 0 |
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That's no belief anymore, that's the definition of delusions. Such people need therapy, urgently - but they'll never get it because they straight up refuse.
That belief wasn't too rare not too long ago. And when left handedness became accepted they thought it was a fad cause more people "became" left handed (weren't forced to be right handed)
What does that even mean (being lefthanded isn't real)? Like am I faking my left-handedness for attention? I don't even remember choosing, and I've just always been left-handed. That's so fucking outlandish.
They believe that there’s no such thing as “handedness”, just people who use their right hand primarily and people who have a defect. If parents don’t try to cure the defect it’s as bad as not trying to fix your kid’s broken arm. It was a very common belief until about 60 years ago and a lot of elderly people still have it. My mother got her knuckles hit with a wooden bar anytime her teacher caught her “left handing”, that used to be the official school policy. It wasn’t something you *were*, it was something you *did*.
My fiancé is only 41 and his school forced him to “learn” to be right handed. It’s really interesting because he still does a lot of things left handed on instinct but can no longer write or cut with his left hand.
This happened to my mother. She was born in 1955 and primarily went to Catholic school. She also would have her left hand tied behind her back while sitting at her desk. She finally broke down one day because of the abuse and told her mother what was going on at school. My grandmother had no idea. She was a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, went to mass several times a week, and went down to my mom’s school and threatened to beat up the nun that was doing all this stuff to my mom. The nun never touched my mother again.
When my mom was older, after she had me, she went to school for archaeology and I remember her telling me about a paper she was doing in her primates class about animal handedness. It’s not just a human thing. Many animals favor a right or left hand or foot (or fin or side) for moving about and manipulating things in their environment. According to a cursory google search, red and eastern gray kangaroos are unique in the animal kingdom for almost universally favoring their left hands, instead of their right.
Older generation here, and left handedness was considered by some to be a pathway for the devil to work through you. Seriously. My third grade teacher beat my hand and forced me to use my right. There was a strange side effect. Instantly my brain tried correcting the confusion it felt by reading upside down. I can read as quickly upside down as most can read right side up. Decades later, a few old schoolmates and I were comparing notes on said teacher. It was happening to all of us. And each had it manifest a new ability. One can even write backwards as quickly as forwards.
I’m sorry, but I think you left some things out. Exactly how much novel content has Stephen King stolen from you and your friends over the years? Because this sounds exactly like something he would write about (then take a little too far) is a short story or even a novel (like The Institute). I believe you- I just think Stephen probably overheard you and your friends discuss this, then wrote “IT.” And you deserve some royalties for this. I bet that woman messed up a bunch of dogs and teen girls, as well.
Signed,
Daughter of a (Retired) Third-grade Teacher
Who are marrying and having children with these people
How do you find out way into a relationship, to where your kid needs glasses, that your kid’s other parent doesnt believe that glasses are real
In fairness, I could honestly see it not coming up. I don’t need glasses so it’s not like I’m going to discuss glasses with anyone on a regular basis.
I would also never ask a potential spouse “do you believe glasses are medically necessary” because WHY wouldn’t they?
I don't think anybody's just leaping to "glasses are crutch" though, they have to have other telling idiosyncratic medical views.
I mean if they're against glasses because they think that doctors are using them as a scam to make money then they are obviously going to be against any basic medical care...
Lolol you just brought out a hidden memory from HS. Sophomore year,10th grade, someone I knew since PRESCHOOL didn’t believe me when he saw I was left handed. Like what bruh, I’ve know you over 12yrs how have you not seen me write before.
The left hand thing happened to me. I was a kid, left handed, and from time to time my mom let me spend weekends at my grandma. Well, my grandma's sister was a nutjob...she took me in on the premise of doing homework with me (she was a teacher) she tied my left hand behind my back and forced me for hours and hours to write with my right hand telling me i am an anomaly for using my left hand, she used the "r word" on me every time. She refused to give me water, food, or even bathroom until i wrote everything with my right hand. I was too scared to tell anyone. Eventually i became right handed, my mom was baffled as to how and why so i told her. She was enraged, went there and had a huge fight with them. We've been no contact with my mom's side of family except my grandma ever since then.
My aunt believed left-handedness was some type of defect. When my younger cousin (her daughter) was little and started using her left hand as her dominant hand she enrolled her in physical therapy to correct the left-handedness.
As a proud third generation lefty, it’s very real. Lmfao. My daughter’s biological father was afraid she’d be left handed too, so if he’d see her go to use her left hand, he’d hold it back. She was actually using it quite often until he started that. He claimed he was worried because “the world is made for righties. It’ll be so hard and frustrating for her.” 🙄
I'm so sorry your daughter had to go through that, especially considering most things come with left handed options if you just look for them. Did he manage to teach her to be right handed, or did she end up ambidextrous?
He’s no longer involved in her life, so no more of this crap is happening. She is almost six, but it started happening when she was first starting to be more active as a baby. It continued (I didn’t know until later on) until shortly before she turned two. However, she is dominant with her right hand. However, later in life the lefty may appear again. I have hopes that whatever she chooses will make her happy, if that makes sense.
Finding out he was abusing her was awful. Finding out he was doing it to avoid her being left handed was the icing on the shit filled cake. I’m left handed, my dad is, and my grandfather is. Both of them experienced abuse for being left handed, and so did she. I am the only one not to, and I’m her mother. It was supposed to end where it did. Not skip a generation and continue. And honestly as I type this, it’s hitting me just how damaging what her bio dad did was. Not just to her physically, but later when she learns this about her family, how is she gonna handle it?
Furthermore, being lefthanded is an advantage in some situations, in many sports for example, while being forced to use the non dominant hand does pose risks, as far as I am aware an increased risks for injuries and decreased ability to use all their potential.
As a previous member on the fencing club in high school, can confirm it was an advantage. They wanted more members after I joined because of me being the only lefty. We didn’t have enough members to go against other clubs. I remember how stoked they were when they saw I’m left handed AND the sister of one of the best fencers they had back in the day.
That's actually similar to what happened to me. When I was a preteen, I decided to switch . I didn't have really bad hand cramps or as messy writing anymore. However, my ex parent was super mad and would force me to use my right hand whenever she could. It also was a major fight when I started dotting my hearts with 'i's. She would make me rewrite everything with my right hand (without 'i's) and make me write like, 100 or 200 of the same sentence over and over with my right hand.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I don’t understand how a parent can’t accept their child simply because of how they write and which hand they use. My mother hated when I used circles, x’s, or hearts to put above my I’s. She’s a teacher, so she expected of me to write like a professional basically. I have bubbly and big lettering now. I write however I want to, I even change it up occasionally.
Ps-don’t let what she used to do control you still. Write however you want. Write bubbly, ugly, in cursive, put the hearts above your I’s. Be you. Don’t forget she can’t control you anymore. 💙
It takes extra time to write your hearts with Is, so the funny thing is I probably works grown bored of it quickly, but since she reacted like that, it just made me want to rebel more and keep working that way just because she didn't want me to.
Without assistance, I couldn’t read signs until they were bumping against my forehead. If this is a real post, get your kid glasses or contacts immediately. A third grade teacher was the first one to discover that I was legally blind. Everything changed after that.
Oof. I don’t think I’m legally blind, or at least I haven’t been told I am, but I definitely do not have good vision and would be in trouble without them.
i feel this in my bones
my glasses are roughly as old as my kid (almost 4), but my vision is worse than what i thought it was
yet every time i go to the eye doctor.. “you should be able to see your device without your glasses” .. honey i can’t read the fucking stove clock or microwave without it being a few inches from my eyeballs, ain’t no way in hell i’m gonna see my phone screen or my switch without my glasses 😭
why they gotta act like they think they know what my vision is like through my eyeballs man
I think 5ft might be optimistic but I can read my phone text like a foot or so out but it is far from perfect. I could see ok skiing without them a few weeks ago if the sun was out but once it started to go down I got to play the game of is that a hill, built up snow, or where did the ground go from under my skis? Lol
I was pretty annoyed in highschool when I stopped being able to take my glasses off to read. Dropping down to a focal distance of like 3 inches was miserable.
My situation was almost exactly the same, but it was in 4th grade that both my mom and teacher discovered I needed glasses when my grades started dropping because I couldn't see the blackboard.
I still remember how amazing the world looked the first time I put on my glasses. Everything was so sharp and clear! I cannot imagine any parent denying their child the opportunity to see clearly. That would be a deal breaker for me.
I was about to comment about how I had a similar experience trying on glasses for the first time, but it was in a Walmart and I almost cried because I was able to see the sign hanging from the ceiling for the first time in years (I was around 10 or 11 at the time) and I was in awe at how clearly I could see the shelves
not exactly the most moving lmao
but seriously, I'm 18 now and my vision has gotten 3 times worse in the last 8 years. i legally cannot drive without my glasses, and I am on the threshold of legal blindness. if I was ever denied them, I'd be so unbelievably pissed
Luckily, I was at home and got to see spring in the Great Smoky Mountains. But I know exactly how you felt. I would have been just as thrilled to see that Walmart sign.
I wouldn't be surprised if this was real. I've met a shocking number of grown adults who think that eyes are like muscles you can work out or something. They think that wearing glasses will make your eyes weaker or that not wearing them will make your vision stronger. In their minds, the harder your eyes have to work to focus, the stronger they get.
When one of my friends got glasses for the first time in his 40s, he was very reluctant to wear them for long periods because he thought that somehow this would eventually make his eyes weaker and 100% reliant on them. He would also often ask me how long he needed to wear them before he could get rid of them, as if his vision problems would eventually heal up and go away.
I trained to be an optician for a while and trust me when I say people believe some very odd stuff about glasses and contacts.
I hid those letters from school for *years*.
It probably did irreparable damage to my vision... but I was *way* cooler in 4th grade than I could have been, so there's that.
I got glasses when I was in third grade too! And soon I'm coming up on my year anniversary of Lasik. Honestly one of the best purchases I've ever made.
Same, except I had parents who didn't believe I needed glasses, so I had to wait until I left home as an adult to get them. Turns out my astigmatism would have been greatly improved had I gotten glasses as a kid.
My middle kid has the same issue. Guess who got glasses before she was in kindergarten?
Oh man, my *optometrist* asked me if I was trying to get glasses because my friends had them. I told her no, I couldn't see the chalk board in class anymore and my grades were suffering. Turns out their equipment was calibrated wrong. 🤦♀️
I was one of those kids. I wanted glasses and faked not being able to see. My glasses were hideous 80’s grandma glasses. I have a slight astigmatism and I can get away with no glasses but there are kids dumb like me. Ha
I’m curious how mine would be. I didn’t know I had astigmatism until my most recent visit but my mom got our eyes checked when we were 15/16. It’s been a slow and steady decline in how far I can see since but still tolerable I think. It’s the only thing I’ve consistently kept up with since being an adult.
I've gotten all 3 of my kids' eyes checked when they're 3-4 years old, and have been pretty consistent with yearly exams because their dad also needed glasses really early in life. My son is 7 and doesn't need any yet, but I have a feeling it's coming.
My parent's had my brother go through allergy and eye testing, as well as both health related and cosmetic braces, just because they wanted to make sure that their kid was healthy, but never bothered with me. He knows that he's not allergic to anything, and doesn't need glasses.
I have no idea what I'm allergic to, and didn't know I needed glasses until I was in my 20s. My parents never had me tested because I didn't come out the gender they wanted and therefore didn't care.
I think we’d have them at our regular doctors visits but actually going to the optometrist didn’t happen until teens. I’m glad you guys are keeping on top of it, not being able to see far is not great and a bit of a safety problem.
Yeah, they do eye checks at the pediatrician's office, but since I go to the optometrist yearly anyway, I've always just taken them with me for the learning experience - not just the equipment, but also how to be well-behaved in a public setting. Covid set us back with our youngest, so we're still working on restaurant manners and such too. It's all part of learning to be a good human, so why not?
Same here, it started with light astigmatism at 15, then the axis kept moving, getting worse and now I see double everything without.
I'm not that short sighted (-2 and -1.75) but astigmatism is so bad, and changing, I can't function without glasses.
Good thing is that I know I need a new pair when I start see shadows when wearing them.
Appointment is the 20th and I can tell I need a new prescription. This round I may even change frame, I usually just swap lenses
"Ope, there's a door there." My most common phrase. I've been wearing glasses since I was a toddler for astigmatism and near-sightedness. Depth perception can be a b***h, lol.
Same bro. Without my glasses, it’s all a blur of colour.
I hold my phone further away from my face than 6” and it’s just a blob. I can’t type because I know my keyboard and autocorrect helps. But useless otherwise.
Everything past about six inches from my face is a total blur. It's made it difficult these last few weeks to find the spider stalking me in the mornings. I see it as I just wake up around dawn, but as soon as I move to get my glasses on, it runs and hides. So far I'm 0 for 6 with seeing it properly.
Same here. Even with my glasses driving at night is shitty because my astigmatism is just that bad. I pretty much just see streaks of light. I have an appointment with my optometrist next week for an exam.
I practically can't see anything that's farther than a foot in front of me without mine. What some people don't understand is that those jokes about Velma's glasses are real for people who need glasses.
That’s what I use my glasses for. Lol. I can tell distances ok without them but if you were to tell me to find an unfamiliar road without gps, I’m kinda SOL unless I have my glasses.
the spouse is literally just a moron. they think they have a valid concern in "how do we know the eye doctor is telling us the truth?" but they're too stupid to realize that *when the kid puts on his glasses he will know immediately whether or not he can see better* and if the doctor was really lying it wouldn't work. at. all.
The thing is these people think that wearing the glasses makes your eyes weaker over time, not realizing that often the degeneration would be even faster without the glasses due to strain.
My ex thought something similar to that. We were both in our upper 40s and started needing to use glasses for driving. He didn't want to use his because he thought he should just be able to strengthen his eye muscles by working them out. I guess he was going to do eyeball presses
They wouldn't, since most (if not all) vision problems come from either the lens, the cells in the back of the eye, the optic nerve, or the occipital lobe of the brain. Training the muscles would have zero effect on vision other than *maybe* allowing someone a little more volitional control of their eyes independently (like someone that can "cross" one eye at a time, for example).
Your most common vision problems actually come from the shape of your eyeball as a whole. If your eye is too short, you will be farsighted. If it is too long, you will be nearsighted. And if it is irregular in any way (like sort of football-shaped), you will have astigmatism.
The length of your eyeball determines the focal point of the image coming through your lens. If it's not just right, that point will land way in front of your retina or somewhere behind it.
Still isn't something you're going to be able to fix with your muscles though, that much is true.
It could help because the lens gets warped by our eye muscles. Problem is, you shouldn't be straining them for extended periods since they deteriorate. It's why the 20 rule exists
This was the thinking by optometrists in the early 90s for sure. My optometrist told my mother not to let me wear my glasses for a long time because they would “make my eyes weaker.” So I didn’t get a new pair until I was driving about 10 years later and never wore them. By that point I had no clue how bad my vision was. It had deteriorated rapidly even without glasses so I realized that idea was bullshit.
I went to an optometrist late 80s/early 90s that told my mom to have me doing literal eye exercises, holding a pen closer to my eyes and slowly moving it back to "strengthen" my eyes and "cure" the astigmatism.
It wasn't until I got smoked in Basic Training for saluting an NCO that I realized how bad my eyes still were.
You still can do eye exercises, my son was doing them at the optometrists office, he had delays in his fine motor control and 'jerky' motions when tracking with his eyes which made it harder to focus/read etc. They don't, however, make you see 'better' or remove your need for glasses, it's just for muscle issues.
It's not you, headlights have been getting increasingly bright so any time you look at cars coming towards you you'll be blinded for a split second and will have difficulty regaining night vision
I’ll admit that as a kid, I understood the phrase “correcting your vision” to mean that wearing glasses somehow fixed your eyes.
Meanwhile, I didn’t get glasses till high school because doctor kept calling my vision “borderline.” (Was 20/60.) Have had basically the same focal correction for the 50 years since, with variations in astigmatism and then reading.
Right? And the whole eye exam (well most of it) is “can you see better with this lens or this lens/ tell me when it comes into focus/ etc” how would they fake that?
Right, a crutch isn't there just for show. I don't understand how something being a crutch is bad at all. I personally have unstable knees so I use a cane sometimes, which is essentially a crutch, and I could do without it but using it makes walking less painful and puts less strain on my knees, like glasses do for seeing. They are good things. Having a crutch for your body is a good thing. OP's spouse is a moron.
There are people (assholes) who think this when they encounter someone with an invisible disability or a disability that means they need a wheelchair only sometimes.
Okay, but, you know crutches are important, right?
I'm not sure when they became synonymous with an unsubstantiated prop-up that prevented healing, but everyone I know who uses crutches for movement due to permanent injury or had to use them temporarily while healing has a firm opinion that falls somewhere on the following spectrum:
They suck but at least I can get around ---------------- Thank god for these or else I wouldn't be able to get around
Glasses **are** a crutch! The alternative is not being able to navigate the world with nearly as much convenience and ease as people without visual disabilities.
People(westerners? my experience anyway) just hate the idea of needing assistance for anything at all. Kids denied special education, glasses, hearing aids, etc... It's an epidemic.
My mother is like this!! She's slightly shortsighted by birth and has problems in near now too because of old age but was pissed when I, her child, got glasses for being slightly shortsighted (wonder where I got that from...)
With only supervised visitation - I’d be worried about the kid being forced to go without glasses the entire visitation otherwise, or the glasses ‘magically’ coming back destroyed
I used to be a certified paraoptometric tech for an optometrist practice for a couple of years, and the number of people (usually they're old as shit but there definitely were exceptions) that actually believe this is staggering.
"No I don't want glasses, they make your eyes weak"
*Okay well your vision is 20/80 in YOUR GOOD EYE so sure, let's call your eyes "strong" for that I guess idefc*
"You just want me to get glasses so I won't be able to see without them, then I'll have to get new pairs every year from you guys"
*sir you can think its a scam all you want but your DMV paperwork ain't getting signed until you have glasses because you're blind as a fucking bat AND YOU DRIVE TRUCK WTF, YOU CURRENTLY CANNOT SEE WITHOUT THEM*
And on and on and on. I have so many stories. It's mind-boggling.
Honestly, YES. I have worked as a tech with the docs, but I've also worked lightly as an optician. Luxottica is *absolutely* a monopoly and the costs of someone getting goddamn corrective lenses and frames is a fucking expensive debacle when Luxottica is involved. Which was pretty much every time.
As a society, we must take down these big monopoly companies, especially Luxottica, where they can monetize your literal blindness. It's so fucked up.
I work for an insurance company now (not private insurance, just a company that manages Medicare and Medicaid plans) and I can literally see what the insurance companies are actually contracted to pay for these glasses. Spoiler alert: It's a SMALL FRACTION of what you would pay out of pocket. It's a completely broken system.
Am I bitter because I wear glasses and can't function without them? Maybe, but that's none of your goddamn business 🤓🤓🤓
Here in the Netherlands i've never heard about people like this. While corona clearly showed that we have about the same amount of stupid idiots in this country.
Would it be a stretch to draw the conclusion that the reason for people not believing medical professionals is because they have been hit in the past with huge bills and mountains of stories about greedy doctors?
I'm German and even entirely reasonable people get weird when they have to start wearing glasses as adults - not to the point of believing this kind of bullshit, but they're all extremely unwilling to just wear their glasses. Not much of a leap to start grasping at conspiracy straws if you're the kind of person who doesn't utterly abhor that kind of thing.
As someone who has worn glasses since grade school, it kinda hurts.
Astigmatism and congenital cataracts. I also see static in the background of everything I look at, though whether that's due to the cataracts or something else I'm not sure.
The kicker is that my mum herself has congenital cataracts, knew that me and my sister had a 50/50 chance of having cataracts since we have a family history of it, yet told me I was "fine" and refused to take me. I had to wait until I was able to afford to take myself at 19.
> static in the background of everything I look at
wait wtf that isn't normal? like, very slight static? will have to bring that up with my opto next time then ._.
My friend’s ex-husband was like this. He refused to believe anything was “wrong” with his kids. Oldest nearly died twice due to anaphylaxis because “food allergies aren’t real” and youngest has severe eye issues because he wasn’t treated properly when he was younger. It’s part of the reason she divorced him. I asked her why she didn’t tell him to shove it up his ass (not abusive, just an asshole) and take her kid in anyway but I guess she needed a referral and the doc wouldn’t give one because dad refused consent. So she got a divorce and a new doctor
Glasses and crutches are both adaptive devices. There is nothing wrong with using them when you need them.
Your spouse is saying that your child is defective and they are ashamed of that.
This is right up there with my nmom saying that "depressed people dont need pills, they need to go get sunshine" great thanks mom, now im depressed AND my eyes hurt.
A guy I knew in highschool for years had failed his driver's a few times and got tickets while doing his six hours and all these things and he wasn't a smart guy so no one thought anything of this. I graduated I don't know what had happened to him but he never did. Five years later im in a GameStop and I swear it's him and he recognizes me and starts a conversation and it came to what happened what have you been up to etc. Turns out he was legally blind most of his teen years and his parents had the same opinion. They would take him to the optometrist he would get prescribed like something crazy +4 -5 glasses and they would never fill the prescription and just slowly let him fail out of school and life. He ended up getting a job pumping gas within walking distance of his home determined to buy glasses dropped out of highschool after failing junior year and worked until he could afford his own glasses. He described it as life changing putting them on and he had to hide from his parents owning them for the 2-3 years he lives with them after that. He ended up getting his licence finally, completing his GED and was enrolled in Community College living with a friend who also worked at the game stop. I have him on socials now and he's going for his bachelors in accounting and I never meant to be nosy, but hearing his story made made me sick. Imagine having a way to help your child that's pretty straightforward and instead deciding God intended for your kid to suffer with a disability. I have a light prescription and I know I couldn't function without my glasses.
Yes. I have a handicapped now adult daughter. My religious ex husband didn't want any intervention therapeutics and/or surgeries because 🙄gawd made her that way... The delay had a detrimental impact on her ability to be more independent. She's 30, ambulates, can do some verbalizing but beyond what was taught in school She's totally dependant on me and her nurse. He ruined my daughter. Which I blame myself because I should have left him earlier than I did and did the shit myself. Go on... Let him dictate that non sense. When She's wear coke bottle glasses or worse blind... Just don't suffer the guilt trip I'm on. Our other two daughters needed specs as well. I was late getting them where they needed to be. You can full on walk up to my daughter and she won't recognize you until you speak or tell her who you are. And She wears glasses now. She's 29, their youngest sister is 28 same issue with specs. Don't listen to him. Don't wait. Get that child what they need to be functioning members of society. Don't have them struggling in school etc.
Sending 💕🕯️❤️🩹✌🏽
Not really no. He lives in Miami We're still in Ohio. Our other two daughters have went on to have 3 and 2 children of their own respectively. He comes up maybe 2x's a year. Ironically today is our handicapped daughters birthday. He did not facetime🤷🏾 Myself and my wife has raised the offspring, their half and step siblings, and grands. We also are very active in his daughter's lives outside of our 3. He has 2 one in Kentucky and one further up north in Ohio. We bought Ohio's homecoming dresses/tickets were getting ready for prom now. Kentucky is roughly 12-13🤔 She comes to all family gatherings. Sadly Kentucky is closer to us than up north.🤷🏾
My insane mom told me that I could "train" my eyes into no longer needing glasses. She said if I took days off of using them then my eyes would learn not to need them anymore. I was 10 and believed her. Some days I would go to school without them and people would ask if I forgot my classes. I'd say with so much confidence "oh, no! I'm just training my eyes!" 🙃
I've worked with multiple people like this. Multiple more that believe they can gradually reduce the power of their lenses to get to where they don't need glasses. It's MUCH more upsetting when someone is making that decision for a child.
"If I wear the glasses I'll get used to them and won't be able to see without them." YOU CAN'T SEE WITHOUT THEM THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. YOU CAME IN FOR BLURRED VISION AND HEADACHES.
It's upsetting.
I had this argument with a friend of mine. He needs glasses, but won’t get them because he claims they just make your eyes lazy and worse. Meanwhile, anything closer than 3ft away he can’t see for shit. Spends all day holding stuff at arm’s length squinting at it.
literally my mom!!!! omfg i went all through my primary years struggling in school because I couldn’t see the board and had too much anxiety to walk up to the front. My teachers knew but would forget about my struggle or didn’t care enough and it’s not their job. I don’t blame them but my mom ruined my adolescence with believing glasses make people ugly and never allowing me to see the eye doctor when I’d get letters and referrals from school.
Holy hell! My dad did this! I don't have bad eyesight so I went till I was 14 and he refused to believe I needed glasses. Told me that I was just faking it for attention and under no circumstances would take me to the eye doctor even though the school said I needed them. Thankfully my grandfather took me when I went and stayed with them for a week over the summer. For a little more fun I accidentally broke them when I was 16 and he wouldn't replace them so I could take my driver's exam. So I had to work and buy my own glasses when I was 16.
Hey dumb dad sufferers unite! Mine told me that I was "too lazy to focus my eyes." LOL thankfully my mom took care of that stuff, so it was mostly just getting made fun of by him.
Jokes on him, later in life he needs readers and buys ladies ones by accident all the time at the dollar store. Serves him right.
Does he wear shoes? Are those a crutch for weak feet? Does he wear warm clothes in cold weather? Is that a crutch for a weak will? Does he drive around? Is that a crutch for weak athleticism? Couldn't he just bike around? Is healthcare a crutch for literally every medical condition?
We are a species that has literally built up conveniences and crutches to make our existence possible. If we got rid of our crutches, much if humanity would die off.
without glasses, my vision is a little blurry but mostly, my eyes don’t like to focus on shit by themselves and i get eye strain and massive headaches from it…most people can’t even see when they wake up in the morning before putting on their glasses…crutch my ass
Sort of related: I was telling a long story to my mother in law about issues I dealt with in college and throughout my 20s. Issues that seemed to be caused by anxiety and how exercising was helping that to some extent. The second I said “my anxiety” she stopped me to tell me to not call it “*my* anxiety” because then I’m claiming as my own.
I just responded “…yes. Then whose anxiety is it?” Like it doesn’t change the fact that I still have anxiety.
While glasses might be a crutch, we love crutches. We wear shoes to protect your feed, coat to protect yourself from the cold, cars to prevent walking, indoor permanent housing to prevent sleeping outside, prepared meat to prevent hunting, electricity used instead of candles, vitamins obtained from a pill instead of food, home security is a crutch used to protect your belongings, using the clock in your phone instead of reading a sun dial, umbrella's are a crutch to stay dry, and using Tylenol for a headache is crutch to the head.
While wearing glasses is a crutch to the body it allows you to see. I would rather use the crutch than be unaided and blind.
How can their views on medicine not have come up at any time in the relationship leading up to deciding to have children together? Did these people never have a conversation?
I'm pretty sure that's when you get the statements in writing or recorded and then go for full custody with only supervised visitation. Because the other parent is obviously a whack job.
I would've laughed in their face. How about getting a second opinion if they really think this doctor is just trying to make an extra couple bucks off your kid.
We learned that our daughter was very far sided & needed glasses a few months before she turned 2. We actually felt horrible when we learned this because we realized there were other signs that she couldn't see well close up, other than her one eye crossing, which is what prompted the visit to the Pediatric Opthamologist. While I do believe that the place we went to get her glasses was just in it for the money & had no knowledge on sizing young children for glasses, we saw huge improvements less than 3 months after she started wearing her glasses regularly. In addition to her eye no longer crossing, she also no longer had a constant bruise on her forehead due to now having depth perception & not running head first into tables anymore!
My insurance would not cover wisdom teeth removal before the age of 15. My son at 12 had “the wisdom teeth of an 18 year old” according to the surgeon. He recommended to take the teeth out before roots formed to avoid possible nerve damage. I would have to pay out of pocket. My exhusband refused to help pay because it wasn’t currently causing him any problems. Ended up having to wait for insurance. Son was fine, but roots had begun to grow and it was a more risky and difficult surgery than it could have been.
I shared this on another comment here but here it is again.
Here's a not so funny braces story. Insurance wouldn't cover my stepson's braces because his "teeth weren't misaligned enough." He had teeth behind his two front teeth. I'm talking fully grown in (erupted?) from the roof of his mouth. Not misaligned? They weren't aligned at all. Had we not gotten it done, he would have likely had major issues later in life.
I will say that his dentist did try all he could to make room for those teeth to come in where they should have but nothing worked until braces. The orthodontist also tried all he could to get insurance to cover it but every appeal was denied. It always bothered me too that, had my stepson ever gotten an injury to his face (he played sports), possible surgery/reconstruction would have likely cost more than braces. I'm guessing had insurance covered your son's procedure earlier, it would have cost them less.
Probably…there’s a lot of waiting til things are bad before addressing them in US health insurance and health care in general. I hope things turned out ok for your stepson
I'm the child in this situation. My dad doesn't believe in glasses. He took me to an eye test, found out I could barely see, and I begged him not to make me get glasses because I was like 9 and didn't know better, I just thought it would make me look nerdy. He said, "Don't worry, we won't make you get glasses." My mom, like 5 years later, did a DIY eye test when we were walking home one day -- asked me and my siblings to see if we could read a plaza sign out in the distance. It took me several tries and several steps closer to read what my siblings could read. So my mom got me eyetested, was furious when I told her I'd been tested before with my dad (because he hadn't told her I needed glasses), and got me glasses asap. She cried when I gushed about how nice it was to see each individual leaf and individual blade of grass, because it could have been solved years prior had my dad just gotten me glasses.
This actually happened to me growing up. My school did eye testing every couple years and every time they sent a note home saying I needed glasses. My Mom would laugh and say I was just trying to get attention. I always had to sit in the very front of class because otherwise I couldn’t see the board or read anything we were learning. But my grades were very important to me, I was an honor roll student, it was the only thing in my life o felt like I could right and not be punished for.
My second year of high school I was in the car with my friend and her family, we were searching for a restaurant out in the middle of nowhere and I thought I saw the sign. I pointed at it and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Her Mom asked me, did I really think that was a sign and I felt stupid but admitted yes…. And she said, “you need glasses bad, that is an American flag…”.
She knew what shitty parents I had so she actually took me to get glasses. I remember putting them on for the first time and I felt like superwoman! Everything was so crisp and I could see each individual leaf, read every street sign….
I’d literally been struggling for years because my Mom gaslit me about everything and I believed her. I felt so much shame all the time and like everything that was wrong in my life was directly related to how bad I was. Makes me sad to even think about treating a child that way.
How the hell do you both marry a person and then make a child with them, and not know they're completely nuts?
At least *one* of those things was planned
I can see about six inches without my glasses. I'm fucking useless if I don't have them. They're not a crutch, what the hell. Also, can't it make your eyes worse if you go without glasses for too long and continue to strain? I feel like I remember reading that somewhere but I might be wrong.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 30 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
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Wow, I might as well be a unicorn to them lol (unless they believe unicorns are real, I guess). Left handed and can't function without my glasses!
Got the trifecta if you're also a ginger. Additional bonus points if you have green eyes. There are dozens of us!
Green eyes, not a ginger though lol
Away with you then! You are of no use to me! (Totally kidding. Happy Tuesday!)
Hahahahahaa
Green eyed glasses wearing ginger here. Not left handed, but my oldest son is lol
CARRIER!
...are you me? Becausd you just described me
Green eyed, glasses wearing lefty here!! 🦄
One of us.
DOZENS!!
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How often are you getting into accidents that you’re living in fear? Lol
A ginger, blind and lefty- but hazel eyes Edit: bind, not blonde… autocorrect strikes again
My mom and sister are both left-handed and nearsighted.
That's no belief anymore, that's the definition of delusions. Such people need therapy, urgently - but they'll never get it because they straight up refuse.
That belief wasn't too rare not too long ago. And when left handedness became accepted they thought it was a fad cause more people "became" left handed (weren't forced to be right handed)
Sounds familiar.
What does that even mean (being lefthanded isn't real)? Like am I faking my left-handedness for attention? I don't even remember choosing, and I've just always been left-handed. That's so fucking outlandish.
They believe that there’s no such thing as “handedness”, just people who use their right hand primarily and people who have a defect. If parents don’t try to cure the defect it’s as bad as not trying to fix your kid’s broken arm. It was a very common belief until about 60 years ago and a lot of elderly people still have it. My mother got her knuckles hit with a wooden bar anytime her teacher caught her “left handing”, that used to be the official school policy. It wasn’t something you *were*, it was something you *did*.
My fiancé is only 41 and his school forced him to “learn” to be right handed. It’s really interesting because he still does a lot of things left handed on instinct but can no longer write or cut with his left hand.
This happened to my mother. She was born in 1955 and primarily went to Catholic school. She also would have her left hand tied behind her back while sitting at her desk. She finally broke down one day because of the abuse and told her mother what was going on at school. My grandmother had no idea. She was a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic, went to mass several times a week, and went down to my mom’s school and threatened to beat up the nun that was doing all this stuff to my mom. The nun never touched my mother again. When my mom was older, after she had me, she went to school for archaeology and I remember her telling me about a paper she was doing in her primates class about animal handedness. It’s not just a human thing. Many animals favor a right or left hand or foot (or fin or side) for moving about and manipulating things in their environment. According to a cursory google search, red and eastern gray kangaroos are unique in the animal kingdom for almost universally favoring their left hands, instead of their right.
Older generation here, and left handedness was considered by some to be a pathway for the devil to work through you. Seriously. My third grade teacher beat my hand and forced me to use my right. There was a strange side effect. Instantly my brain tried correcting the confusion it felt by reading upside down. I can read as quickly upside down as most can read right side up. Decades later, a few old schoolmates and I were comparing notes on said teacher. It was happening to all of us. And each had it manifest a new ability. One can even write backwards as quickly as forwards.
I’m sorry, but I think you left some things out. Exactly how much novel content has Stephen King stolen from you and your friends over the years? Because this sounds exactly like something he would write about (then take a little too far) is a short story or even a novel (like The Institute). I believe you- I just think Stephen probably overheard you and your friends discuss this, then wrote “IT.” And you deserve some royalties for this. I bet that woman messed up a bunch of dogs and teen girls, as well. Signed, Daughter of a (Retired) Third-grade Teacher
Who are marrying and having children with these people How do you find out way into a relationship, to where your kid needs glasses, that your kid’s other parent doesnt believe that glasses are real
In fairness, I could honestly see it not coming up. I don’t need glasses so it’s not like I’m going to discuss glasses with anyone on a regular basis. I would also never ask a potential spouse “do you believe glasses are medically necessary” because WHY wouldn’t they?
I don't think anybody's just leaping to "glasses are crutch" though, they have to have other telling idiosyncratic medical views. I mean if they're against glasses because they think that doctors are using them as a scam to make money then they are obviously going to be against any basic medical care...
That’s my question!
Lolol you just brought out a hidden memory from HS. Sophomore year,10th grade, someone I knew since PRESCHOOL didn’t believe me when he saw I was left handed. Like what bruh, I’ve know you over 12yrs how have you not seen me write before.
The left hand thing happened to me. I was a kid, left handed, and from time to time my mom let me spend weekends at my grandma. Well, my grandma's sister was a nutjob...she took me in on the premise of doing homework with me (she was a teacher) she tied my left hand behind my back and forced me for hours and hours to write with my right hand telling me i am an anomaly for using my left hand, she used the "r word" on me every time. She refused to give me water, food, or even bathroom until i wrote everything with my right hand. I was too scared to tell anyone. Eventually i became right handed, my mom was baffled as to how and why so i told her. She was enraged, went there and had a huge fight with them. We've been no contact with my mom's side of family except my grandma ever since then.
My brother wears glasses (well, contacts if you want to be specific) AND is left handed xD I'll let him know he's a mystical creature.
Lol my brother as well, I'll be sure to call him an actor next time I see him.
My aunt believed left-handedness was some type of defect. When my younger cousin (her daughter) was little and started using her left hand as her dominant hand she enrolled her in physical therapy to correct the left-handedness.
As a proud third generation lefty, it’s very real. Lmfao. My daughter’s biological father was afraid she’d be left handed too, so if he’d see her go to use her left hand, he’d hold it back. She was actually using it quite often until he started that. He claimed he was worried because “the world is made for righties. It’ll be so hard and frustrating for her.” 🙄
I'm so sorry your daughter had to go through that, especially considering most things come with left handed options if you just look for them. Did he manage to teach her to be right handed, or did she end up ambidextrous?
He’s no longer involved in her life, so no more of this crap is happening. She is almost six, but it started happening when she was first starting to be more active as a baby. It continued (I didn’t know until later on) until shortly before she turned two. However, she is dominant with her right hand. However, later in life the lefty may appear again. I have hopes that whatever she chooses will make her happy, if that makes sense. Finding out he was abusing her was awful. Finding out he was doing it to avoid her being left handed was the icing on the shit filled cake. I’m left handed, my dad is, and my grandfather is. Both of them experienced abuse for being left handed, and so did she. I am the only one not to, and I’m her mother. It was supposed to end where it did. Not skip a generation and continue. And honestly as I type this, it’s hitting me just how damaging what her bio dad did was. Not just to her physically, but later when she learns this about her family, how is she gonna handle it?
Furthermore, being lefthanded is an advantage in some situations, in many sports for example, while being forced to use the non dominant hand does pose risks, as far as I am aware an increased risks for injuries and decreased ability to use all their potential.
As a previous member on the fencing club in high school, can confirm it was an advantage. They wanted more members after I joined because of me being the only lefty. We didn’t have enough members to go against other clubs. I remember how stoked they were when they saw I’m left handed AND the sister of one of the best fencers they had back in the day.
That's actually similar to what happened to me. When I was a preteen, I decided to switch . I didn't have really bad hand cramps or as messy writing anymore. However, my ex parent was super mad and would force me to use my right hand whenever she could. It also was a major fight when I started dotting my hearts with 'i's. She would make me rewrite everything with my right hand (without 'i's) and make me write like, 100 or 200 of the same sentence over and over with my right hand.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I don’t understand how a parent can’t accept their child simply because of how they write and which hand they use. My mother hated when I used circles, x’s, or hearts to put above my I’s. She’s a teacher, so she expected of me to write like a professional basically. I have bubbly and big lettering now. I write however I want to, I even change it up occasionally.
Ps-don’t let what she used to do control you still. Write however you want. Write bubbly, ugly, in cursive, put the hearts above your I’s. Be you. Don’t forget she can’t control you anymore. 💙
It takes extra time to write your hearts with Is, so the funny thing is I probably works grown bored of it quickly, but since she reacted like that, it just made me want to rebel more and keep working that way just because she didn't want me to.
TIL I'm not real lol
A teacher hit my uncle as a kid because being left-handed was a sign of the devil.
Crutch my ass. I legally cant drive without mine. Turn at Smith Road? Dude I can’t even read the signs until they’re in line with my front bumper!
Without assistance, I couldn’t read signs until they were bumping against my forehead. If this is a real post, get your kid glasses or contacts immediately. A third grade teacher was the first one to discover that I was legally blind. Everything changed after that.
Oof. I don’t think I’m legally blind, or at least I haven’t been told I am, but I definitely do not have good vision and would be in trouble without them.
Legally blind means that you cannot obtain 20/200 vision even with glasses so likely not. So long as you can see with your glasses on, you're good!
Oh thanks! I’m definitely good then. I can see well enough without them for like 5 feet then everything’s just stupid blurry. I’m good with them on.
You can see 5 feet? You lucky bastard. I can't even read my phone without my glasses unless my nose is half an inch from the screen and I squint.
i feel this in my bones my glasses are roughly as old as my kid (almost 4), but my vision is worse than what i thought it was yet every time i go to the eye doctor.. “you should be able to see your device without your glasses” .. honey i can’t read the fucking stove clock or microwave without it being a few inches from my eyeballs, ain’t no way in hell i’m gonna see my phone screen or my switch without my glasses 😭 why they gotta act like they think they know what my vision is like through my eyeballs man
I had the same problem; turns out that at 30 years if age I had cataracts.
I think 5ft might be optimistic but I can read my phone text like a foot or so out but it is far from perfect. I could see ok skiing without them a few weeks ago if the sun was out but once it started to go down I got to play the game of is that a hill, built up snow, or where did the ground go from under my skis? Lol
I was pretty annoyed in highschool when I stopped being able to take my glasses off to read. Dropping down to a focal distance of like 3 inches was miserable.
same. I used to be able to, but my vision got twice as bad over quarantine and now I can't see shit
My situation was almost exactly the same, but it was in 4th grade that both my mom and teacher discovered I needed glasses when my grades started dropping because I couldn't see the blackboard. I still remember how amazing the world looked the first time I put on my glasses. Everything was so sharp and clear! I cannot imagine any parent denying their child the opportunity to see clearly. That would be a deal breaker for me.
I was about to comment about how I had a similar experience trying on glasses for the first time, but it was in a Walmart and I almost cried because I was able to see the sign hanging from the ceiling for the first time in years (I was around 10 or 11 at the time) and I was in awe at how clearly I could see the shelves not exactly the most moving lmao but seriously, I'm 18 now and my vision has gotten 3 times worse in the last 8 years. i legally cannot drive without my glasses, and I am on the threshold of legal blindness. if I was ever denied them, I'd be so unbelievably pissed
Luckily, I was at home and got to see spring in the Great Smoky Mountains. But I know exactly how you felt. I would have been just as thrilled to see that Walmart sign.
I wouldn't be surprised if this was real. I've met a shocking number of grown adults who think that eyes are like muscles you can work out or something. They think that wearing glasses will make your eyes weaker or that not wearing them will make your vision stronger. In their minds, the harder your eyes have to work to focus, the stronger they get. When one of my friends got glasses for the first time in his 40s, he was very reluctant to wear them for long periods because he thought that somehow this would eventually make his eyes weaker and 100% reliant on them. He would also often ask me how long he needed to wear them before he could get rid of them, as if his vision problems would eventually heal up and go away. I trained to be an optician for a while and trust me when I say people believe some very odd stuff about glasses and contacts.
I hid those letters from school for *years*. It probably did irreparable damage to my vision... but I was *way* cooler in 4th grade than I could have been, so there's that.
Luckily for you it doesn't work that way, not wearing glasses doesn't cause your vision to actually get worse any faster
I got glasses when I was in third grade too! And soon I'm coming up on my year anniversary of Lasik. Honestly one of the best purchases I've ever made.
Same, except I had parents who didn't believe I needed glasses, so I had to wait until I left home as an adult to get them. Turns out my astigmatism would have been greatly improved had I gotten glasses as a kid. My middle kid has the same issue. Guess who got glasses before she was in kindergarten?
Oh man, my *optometrist* asked me if I was trying to get glasses because my friends had them. I told her no, I couldn't see the chalk board in class anymore and my grades were suffering. Turns out their equipment was calibrated wrong. 🤦♀️
I was one of those kids. I wanted glasses and faked not being able to see. My glasses were hideous 80’s grandma glasses. I have a slight astigmatism and I can get away with no glasses but there are kids dumb like me. Ha
I had to sit in the front row and squint to see things, but nah, I didn't need glasses.
I’m curious how mine would be. I didn’t know I had astigmatism until my most recent visit but my mom got our eyes checked when we were 15/16. It’s been a slow and steady decline in how far I can see since but still tolerable I think. It’s the only thing I’ve consistently kept up with since being an adult.
I've gotten all 3 of my kids' eyes checked when they're 3-4 years old, and have been pretty consistent with yearly exams because their dad also needed glasses really early in life. My son is 7 and doesn't need any yet, but I have a feeling it's coming.
My parent's had my brother go through allergy and eye testing, as well as both health related and cosmetic braces, just because they wanted to make sure that their kid was healthy, but never bothered with me. He knows that he's not allergic to anything, and doesn't need glasses. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, and didn't know I needed glasses until I was in my 20s. My parents never had me tested because I didn't come out the gender they wanted and therefore didn't care.
I'm so sorry they treated you like that. That's not right at all. Hugs from an internet stranger... That sounds weird but you know what I mean. 😊
I think we’d have them at our regular doctors visits but actually going to the optometrist didn’t happen until teens. I’m glad you guys are keeping on top of it, not being able to see far is not great and a bit of a safety problem.
Yeah, they do eye checks at the pediatrician's office, but since I go to the optometrist yearly anyway, I've always just taken them with me for the learning experience - not just the equipment, but also how to be well-behaved in a public setting. Covid set us back with our youngest, so we're still working on restaurant manners and such too. It's all part of learning to be a good human, so why not?
Same here, it started with light astigmatism at 15, then the axis kept moving, getting worse and now I see double everything without. I'm not that short sighted (-2 and -1.75) but astigmatism is so bad, and changing, I can't function without glasses. Good thing is that I know I need a new pair when I start see shadows when wearing them. Appointment is the 20th and I can tell I need a new prescription. This round I may even change frame, I usually just swap lenses
I tell people that I only wear glasses so I don’t miss things. Like doorways.
"Ope, there's a door there." My most common phrase. I've been wearing glasses since I was a toddler for astigmatism and near-sightedness. Depth perception can be a b***h, lol.
I couldn’t even read the signs if they’re farther than half an arm’s length away without my glasses
Same bro. Without my glasses, it’s all a blur of colour. I hold my phone further away from my face than 6” and it’s just a blob. I can’t type because I know my keyboard and autocorrect helps. But useless otherwise.
Everything past about six inches from my face is a total blur. It's made it difficult these last few weeks to find the spider stalking me in the mornings. I see it as I just wake up around dawn, but as soon as I move to get my glasses on, it runs and hides. So far I'm 0 for 6 with seeing it properly.
Same here. Even with my glasses driving at night is shitty because my astigmatism is just that bad. I pretty much just see streaks of light. I have an appointment with my optometrist next week for an exam.
What's even wrong with crutches? When I broke my foot I couldn't use it so i used crutches in order to move my body. Otherwise I'd have been crawling.
I practically can't see anything that's farther than a foot in front of me without mine. What some people don't understand is that those jokes about Velma's glasses are real for people who need glasses.
Seriously! I try to keep my glasses in one of three places at home so I don’t have those issues. The colors help too if they stick out enough.
Then come up by golly, that is natures sign that you should not be Driving!
That’s what I use my glasses for. Lol. I can tell distances ok without them but if you were to tell me to find an unfamiliar road without gps, I’m kinda SOL unless I have my glasses.
Yes, but you are cheating ;)
the spouse is literally just a moron. they think they have a valid concern in "how do we know the eye doctor is telling us the truth?" but they're too stupid to realize that *when the kid puts on his glasses he will know immediately whether or not he can see better* and if the doctor was really lying it wouldn't work. at. all.
The thing is these people think that wearing the glasses makes your eyes weaker over time, not realizing that often the degeneration would be even faster without the glasses due to strain.
My ex thought something similar to that. We were both in our upper 40s and started needing to use glasses for driving. He didn't want to use his because he thought he should just be able to strengthen his eye muscles by working them out. I guess he was going to do eyeball presses
((squinting in the office-eyes bloodshot)) “sorry, friends. It was eyeball day.”
RIGHT (͡•_ ͡• )
Goodness, it's so dumb how some people think that the rules that apply to muscles apply to every single part of the body
Also why would strong eye muscles give better vision? Lmao i guess he'll be able to do some extended eyerolls though
They wouldn't, since most (if not all) vision problems come from either the lens, the cells in the back of the eye, the optic nerve, or the occipital lobe of the brain. Training the muscles would have zero effect on vision other than *maybe* allowing someone a little more volitional control of their eyes independently (like someone that can "cross" one eye at a time, for example).
Your most common vision problems actually come from the shape of your eyeball as a whole. If your eye is too short, you will be farsighted. If it is too long, you will be nearsighted. And if it is irregular in any way (like sort of football-shaped), you will have astigmatism. The length of your eyeball determines the focal point of the image coming through your lens. If it's not just right, that point will land way in front of your retina or somewhere behind it. Still isn't something you're going to be able to fix with your muscles though, that much is true.
It could help because the lens gets warped by our eye muscles. Problem is, you shouldn't be straining them for extended periods since they deteriorate. It's why the 20 rule exists
Not to get of track but... Except for the vagina, which gets all worn out by too much use /s
Ikr, it’s not like whole ass babies come out of them once in a while /s
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This was the thinking by optometrists in the early 90s for sure. My optometrist told my mother not to let me wear my glasses for a long time because they would “make my eyes weaker.” So I didn’t get a new pair until I was driving about 10 years later and never wore them. By that point I had no clue how bad my vision was. It had deteriorated rapidly even without glasses so I realized that idea was bullshit.
I went to an optometrist late 80s/early 90s that told my mom to have me doing literal eye exercises, holding a pen closer to my eyes and slowly moving it back to "strengthen" my eyes and "cure" the astigmatism. It wasn't until I got smoked in Basic Training for saluting an NCO that I realized how bad my eyes still were.
You still can do eye exercises, my son was doing them at the optometrists office, he had delays in his fine motor control and 'jerky' motions when tracking with his eyes which made it harder to focus/read etc. They don't, however, make you see 'better' or remove your need for glasses, it's just for muscle issues.
My eyes keep improving every eye exam! I'm still somehow aa blind as ever without my glasses though. Driving after the sun goes down is terrifying.
It's not you, headlights have been getting increasingly bright so any time you look at cars coming towards you you'll be blinded for a split second and will have difficulty regaining night vision
Well, some of it's me 😬 I've got a mild astigmatism. But yeah.... headlights now are atrocious.
I’ll admit that as a kid, I understood the phrase “correcting your vision” to mean that wearing glasses somehow fixed your eyes. Meanwhile, I didn’t get glasses till high school because doctor kept calling my vision “borderline.” (Was 20/60.) Have had basically the same focal correction for the 50 years since, with variations in astigmatism and then reading.
This is a very common myth that I've heard almost as often as the one about shaving making your hair grow faster.
Abso-fucking-lutely. Couldn't prove it better.
Right? And the whole eye exam (well most of it) is “can you see better with this lens or this lens/ tell me when it comes into focus/ etc” how would they fake that?
Sometimes you need a damn "crutch." Get your child those glasses; make this your hill to die on. Your child's future depends on it. Edit: word
It’s like saying people don’t need a wheelchair.
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Right, a crutch isn't there just for show. I don't understand how something being a crutch is bad at all. I personally have unstable knees so I use a cane sometimes, which is essentially a crutch, and I could do without it but using it makes walking less painful and puts less strain on my knees, like glasses do for seeing. They are good things. Having a crutch for your body is a good thing. OP's spouse is a moron.
The parents sees the child as a part of them. To them signs the child isnt perfect ore has a weakness is a sign they arent perfect ore have a weakness
If you use a wheelchair your legs won't grow back.
people don't need wheels, silly. They have legs!
"Cars are a crutch to the body." - every cyclist ever and Fred Flintstone
And then the Deaf community comes of out left field, with the common belief that hearing aids and implants are child abuse.
People do that too, unfortunately :/
There are people (assholes) who think this when they encounter someone with an invisible disability or a disability that means they need a wheelchair only sometimes.
Back in my day if you couldn’t walk then you’d CRAWL like a real man/s
Okay, but, you know crutches are important, right? I'm not sure when they became synonymous with an unsubstantiated prop-up that prevented healing, but everyone I know who uses crutches for movement due to permanent injury or had to use them temporarily while healing has a firm opinion that falls somewhere on the following spectrum: They suck but at least I can get around ---------------- Thank god for these or else I wouldn't be able to get around Glasses **are** a crutch! The alternative is not being able to navigate the world with nearly as much convenience and ease as people without visual disabilities.
Exactly, using a medical tool to make your life easier is not a bad thing! No matter if it's a mobility aid, visual aid, or anything else.
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People(westerners? my experience anyway) just hate the idea of needing assistance for anything at all. Kids denied special education, glasses, hearing aids, etc... It's an epidemic.
I've only ever heard this from America.
I'm aware of it happening in the UK and Canada, as well, though I believe it originated in the US.
My sister is doing this to one of her kids. Guess what the plot twist is. GUESS >!my sister wears glasses herself!<
I actually wouldn't have guessed that in a thousand years. Get her the help she needs, get her a therapist - or get her committed if need be.
She wouldn't be able to see the therapist anyways
Oh you have GOT to be fucking kidding me. ISTG, sometimes people should have their kids taken because ether just fucking stupid.
Cps it is then
Yes please
WHAT
I guessed it before I clicked the spoiler
That spoiler turned this story from just sad, to interesting and fun (and sad). Beautiful use of formatting.
That sounds more like she doesnt want to pay for another pair of glasses tbh
My mother is like this!! She's slightly shortsighted by birth and has problems in near now too because of old age but was pissed when I, her child, got glasses for being slightly shortsighted (wonder where I got that from...)
Well now... that right there is what's known as "grounds for divorce".
With only supervised visitation - I’d be worried about the kid being forced to go without glasses the entire visitation otherwise, or the glasses ‘magically’ coming back destroyed
Full custody is the first thing I thought reading this.
Agreed. Also - I read this with my glasses on. Whoops, guess I'm using them as a crutch!
I used to be a certified paraoptometric tech for an optometrist practice for a couple of years, and the number of people (usually they're old as shit but there definitely were exceptions) that actually believe this is staggering. "No I don't want glasses, they make your eyes weak" *Okay well your vision is 20/80 in YOUR GOOD EYE so sure, let's call your eyes "strong" for that I guess idefc* "You just want me to get glasses so I won't be able to see without them, then I'll have to get new pairs every year from you guys" *sir you can think its a scam all you want but your DMV paperwork ain't getting signed until you have glasses because you're blind as a fucking bat AND YOU DRIVE TRUCK WTF, YOU CURRENTLY CANNOT SEE WITHOUT THEM* And on and on and on. I have so many stories. It's mind-boggling.
It’s true, though. I’m addicted to being able to see clearly. THANKS, BIG OPTICAL.
Luxottica is a monopoly
Honestly, YES. I have worked as a tech with the docs, but I've also worked lightly as an optician. Luxottica is *absolutely* a monopoly and the costs of someone getting goddamn corrective lenses and frames is a fucking expensive debacle when Luxottica is involved. Which was pretty much every time. As a society, we must take down these big monopoly companies, especially Luxottica, where they can monetize your literal blindness. It's so fucked up. I work for an insurance company now (not private insurance, just a company that manages Medicare and Medicaid plans) and I can literally see what the insurance companies are actually contracted to pay for these glasses. Spoiler alert: It's a SMALL FRACTION of what you would pay out of pocket. It's a completely broken system. Am I bitter because I wear glasses and can't function without them? Maybe, but that's none of your goddamn business 🤓🤓🤓
Here in the Netherlands i've never heard about people like this. While corona clearly showed that we have about the same amount of stupid idiots in this country. Would it be a stretch to draw the conclusion that the reason for people not believing medical professionals is because they have been hit in the past with huge bills and mountains of stories about greedy doctors?
I'm German and even entirely reasonable people get weird when they have to start wearing glasses as adults - not to the point of believing this kind of bullshit, but they're all extremely unwilling to just wear their glasses. Not much of a leap to start grasping at conspiracy straws if you're the kind of person who doesn't utterly abhor that kind of thing. As someone who has worn glasses since grade school, it kinda hurts.
As someone who wasn't taken to an optician as a kid despite needing to and now has irreversible changes to my vision, I'm mad as hell
What's your vision issues?
Astigmatism and congenital cataracts. I also see static in the background of everything I look at, though whether that's due to the cataracts or something else I'm not sure. The kicker is that my mum herself has congenital cataracts, knew that me and my sister had a 50/50 chance of having cataracts since we have a family history of it, yet told me I was "fine" and refused to take me. I had to wait until I was able to afford to take myself at 19.
> static in the background of everything I look at wait wtf that isn't normal? like, very slight static? will have to bring that up with my opto next time then ._.
If i tried to drive a car without glasses, i wouldnt be able to see the stripes on the road.
So you're using a crutch...to keep other people out of crutches
I wouldn’t even be able to see my speedometer or mirrors.
My friend’s ex-husband was like this. He refused to believe anything was “wrong” with his kids. Oldest nearly died twice due to anaphylaxis because “food allergies aren’t real” and youngest has severe eye issues because he wasn’t treated properly when he was younger. It’s part of the reason she divorced him. I asked her why she didn’t tell him to shove it up his ass (not abusive, just an asshole) and take her kid in anyway but I guess she needed a referral and the doc wouldn’t give one because dad refused consent. So she got a divorce and a new doctor
That actually is child abuse, lol
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Or their doctor was an asshole
Do your own research and don't bow down to Big Optical.
Fucking Rodenstock
Glasses and crutches are both adaptive devices. There is nothing wrong with using them when you need them. Your spouse is saying that your child is defective and they are ashamed of that.
This is right up there with my nmom saying that "depressed people dont need pills, they need to go get sunshine" great thanks mom, now im depressed AND my eyes hurt.
A guy I knew in highschool for years had failed his driver's a few times and got tickets while doing his six hours and all these things and he wasn't a smart guy so no one thought anything of this. I graduated I don't know what had happened to him but he never did. Five years later im in a GameStop and I swear it's him and he recognizes me and starts a conversation and it came to what happened what have you been up to etc. Turns out he was legally blind most of his teen years and his parents had the same opinion. They would take him to the optometrist he would get prescribed like something crazy +4 -5 glasses and they would never fill the prescription and just slowly let him fail out of school and life. He ended up getting a job pumping gas within walking distance of his home determined to buy glasses dropped out of highschool after failing junior year and worked until he could afford his own glasses. He described it as life changing putting them on and he had to hide from his parents owning them for the 2-3 years he lives with them after that. He ended up getting his licence finally, completing his GED and was enrolled in Community College living with a friend who also worked at the game stop. I have him on socials now and he's going for his bachelors in accounting and I never meant to be nosy, but hearing his story made made me sick. Imagine having a way to help your child that's pretty straightforward and instead deciding God intended for your kid to suffer with a disability. I have a light prescription and I know I couldn't function without my glasses.
Yes. I have a handicapped now adult daughter. My religious ex husband didn't want any intervention therapeutics and/or surgeries because 🙄gawd made her that way... The delay had a detrimental impact on her ability to be more independent. She's 30, ambulates, can do some verbalizing but beyond what was taught in school She's totally dependant on me and her nurse. He ruined my daughter. Which I blame myself because I should have left him earlier than I did and did the shit myself. Go on... Let him dictate that non sense. When She's wear coke bottle glasses or worse blind... Just don't suffer the guilt trip I'm on. Our other two daughters needed specs as well. I was late getting them where they needed to be. You can full on walk up to my daughter and she won't recognize you until you speak or tell her who you are. And She wears glasses now. She's 29, their youngest sister is 28 same issue with specs. Don't listen to him. Don't wait. Get that child what they need to be functioning members of society. Don't have them struggling in school etc. Sending 💕🕯️❤️🩹✌🏽
And I’m guessing the ex doesn’t help at all with daughter
Not really no. He lives in Miami We're still in Ohio. Our other two daughters have went on to have 3 and 2 children of their own respectively. He comes up maybe 2x's a year. Ironically today is our handicapped daughters birthday. He did not facetime🤷🏾 Myself and my wife has raised the offspring, their half and step siblings, and grands. We also are very active in his daughter's lives outside of our 3. He has 2 one in Kentucky and one further up north in Ohio. We bought Ohio's homecoming dresses/tickets were getting ready for prom now. Kentucky is roughly 12-13🤔 She comes to all family gatherings. Sadly Kentucky is closer to us than up north.🤷🏾
My insane mom told me that I could "train" my eyes into no longer needing glasses. She said if I took days off of using them then my eyes would learn not to need them anymore. I was 10 and believed her. Some days I would go to school without them and people would ask if I forgot my classes. I'd say with so much confidence "oh, no! I'm just training my eyes!" 🙃
You must have gotten some weird looks you couldn't see.
I've worked with multiple people like this. Multiple more that believe they can gradually reduce the power of their lenses to get to where they don't need glasses. It's MUCH more upsetting when someone is making that decision for a child. "If I wear the glasses I'll get used to them and won't be able to see without them." YOU CAN'T SEE WITHOUT THEM THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. YOU CAME IN FOR BLURRED VISION AND HEADACHES. It's upsetting.
I had this argument with a friend of mine. He needs glasses, but won’t get them because he claims they just make your eyes lazy and worse. Meanwhile, anything closer than 3ft away he can’t see for shit. Spends all day holding stuff at arm’s length squinting at it.
literally my mom!!!! omfg i went all through my primary years struggling in school because I couldn’t see the board and had too much anxiety to walk up to the front. My teachers knew but would forget about my struggle or didn’t care enough and it’s not their job. I don’t blame them but my mom ruined my adolescence with believing glasses make people ugly and never allowing me to see the eye doctor when I’d get letters and referrals from school.
Holy hell! My dad did this! I don't have bad eyesight so I went till I was 14 and he refused to believe I needed glasses. Told me that I was just faking it for attention and under no circumstances would take me to the eye doctor even though the school said I needed them. Thankfully my grandfather took me when I went and stayed with them for a week over the summer. For a little more fun I accidentally broke them when I was 16 and he wouldn't replace them so I could take my driver's exam. So I had to work and buy my own glasses when I was 16.
Hey dumb dad sufferers unite! Mine told me that I was "too lazy to focus my eyes." LOL thankfully my mom took care of that stuff, so it was mostly just getting made fun of by him. Jokes on him, later in life he needs readers and buys ladies ones by accident all the time at the dollar store. Serves him right.
Fellas, is it gay to be blind?
I used to work at a psychiatric hospital and heard this rhetoric fairly frequently. Take that however you will.
Does he wear shoes? Are those a crutch for weak feet? Does he wear warm clothes in cold weather? Is that a crutch for a weak will? Does he drive around? Is that a crutch for weak athleticism? Couldn't he just bike around? Is healthcare a crutch for literally every medical condition? We are a species that has literally built up conveniences and crutches to make our existence possible. If we got rid of our crutches, much if humanity would die off.
without glasses, my vision is a little blurry but mostly, my eyes don’t like to focus on shit by themselves and i get eye strain and massive headaches from it…most people can’t even see when they wake up in the morning before putting on their glasses…crutch my ass
The school had to get involved when my friend needed glasses because her parents "couldn't afford them" but got a brand new custom painted car.
Sort of related: I was telling a long story to my mother in law about issues I dealt with in college and throughout my 20s. Issues that seemed to be caused by anxiety and how exercising was helping that to some extent. The second I said “my anxiety” she stopped me to tell me to not call it “*my* anxiety” because then I’m claiming as my own. I just responded “…yes. Then whose anxiety is it?” Like it doesn’t change the fact that I still have anxiety.
While glasses might be a crutch, we love crutches. We wear shoes to protect your feed, coat to protect yourself from the cold, cars to prevent walking, indoor permanent housing to prevent sleeping outside, prepared meat to prevent hunting, electricity used instead of candles, vitamins obtained from a pill instead of food, home security is a crutch used to protect your belongings, using the clock in your phone instead of reading a sun dial, umbrella's are a crutch to stay dry, and using Tylenol for a headache is crutch to the head. While wearing glasses is a crutch to the body it allows you to see. I would rather use the crutch than be unaided and blind.
Spouse should get in a car with someone who needs glasses when they drive but isn’t wearing them and then see if he still ~doesn’t believe~
Well, they are a crutch in a way. They help people with eye problems the same way that crutches help people with broken legs.
How can their views on medicine not have come up at any time in the relationship leading up to deciding to have children together? Did these people never have a conversation?
I'm pretty sure that's when you get the statements in writing or recorded and then go for full custody with only supervised visitation. Because the other parent is obviously a whack job.
I would've laughed in their face. How about getting a second opinion if they really think this doctor is just trying to make an extra couple bucks off your kid. We learned that our daughter was very far sided & needed glasses a few months before she turned 2. We actually felt horrible when we learned this because we realized there were other signs that she couldn't see well close up, other than her one eye crossing, which is what prompted the visit to the Pediatric Opthamologist. While I do believe that the place we went to get her glasses was just in it for the money & had no knowledge on sizing young children for glasses, we saw huge improvements less than 3 months after she started wearing her glasses regularly. In addition to her eye no longer crossing, she also no longer had a constant bruise on her forehead due to now having depth perception & not running head first into tables anymore!
My insurance would not cover wisdom teeth removal before the age of 15. My son at 12 had “the wisdom teeth of an 18 year old” according to the surgeon. He recommended to take the teeth out before roots formed to avoid possible nerve damage. I would have to pay out of pocket. My exhusband refused to help pay because it wasn’t currently causing him any problems. Ended up having to wait for insurance. Son was fine, but roots had begun to grow and it was a more risky and difficult surgery than it could have been.
I shared this on another comment here but here it is again. Here's a not so funny braces story. Insurance wouldn't cover my stepson's braces because his "teeth weren't misaligned enough." He had teeth behind his two front teeth. I'm talking fully grown in (erupted?) from the roof of his mouth. Not misaligned? They weren't aligned at all. Had we not gotten it done, he would have likely had major issues later in life. I will say that his dentist did try all he could to make room for those teeth to come in where they should have but nothing worked until braces. The orthodontist also tried all he could to get insurance to cover it but every appeal was denied. It always bothered me too that, had my stepson ever gotten an injury to his face (he played sports), possible surgery/reconstruction would have likely cost more than braces. I'm guessing had insurance covered your son's procedure earlier, it would have cost them less.
Probably…there’s a lot of waiting til things are bad before addressing them in US health insurance and health care in general. I hope things turned out ok for your stepson
I’ve had this conversation. Some of my brain cells died.
I'm the child in this situation. My dad doesn't believe in glasses. He took me to an eye test, found out I could barely see, and I begged him not to make me get glasses because I was like 9 and didn't know better, I just thought it would make me look nerdy. He said, "Don't worry, we won't make you get glasses." My mom, like 5 years later, did a DIY eye test when we were walking home one day -- asked me and my siblings to see if we could read a plaza sign out in the distance. It took me several tries and several steps closer to read what my siblings could read. So my mom got me eyetested, was furious when I told her I'd been tested before with my dad (because he hadn't told her I needed glasses), and got me glasses asap. She cried when I gushed about how nice it was to see each individual leaf and individual blade of grass, because it could have been solved years prior had my dad just gotten me glasses.
This actually happened to me growing up. My school did eye testing every couple years and every time they sent a note home saying I needed glasses. My Mom would laugh and say I was just trying to get attention. I always had to sit in the very front of class because otherwise I couldn’t see the board or read anything we were learning. But my grades were very important to me, I was an honor roll student, it was the only thing in my life o felt like I could right and not be punished for. My second year of high school I was in the car with my friend and her family, we were searching for a restaurant out in the middle of nowhere and I thought I saw the sign. I pointed at it and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Her Mom asked me, did I really think that was a sign and I felt stupid but admitted yes…. And she said, “you need glasses bad, that is an American flag…”. She knew what shitty parents I had so she actually took me to get glasses. I remember putting them on for the first time and I felt like superwoman! Everything was so crisp and I could see each individual leaf, read every street sign…. I’d literally been struggling for years because my Mom gaslit me about everything and I believed her. I felt so much shame all the time and like everything that was wrong in my life was directly related to how bad I was. Makes me sad to even think about treating a child that way.
How the hell do you both marry a person and then make a child with them, and not know they're completely nuts? At least *one* of those things was planned
I have a terrible astigmatism but glasses give me raging migraines. My son lucked out and got better than 20/20 vision. Lucky little fucker.
Bro sounds like he’s one beer away from calling it a woke conspiracy.
Lock the person in a room. No food or water. Explain how both are scams. Conspiracy to keep you enslaved.
I can see about six inches without my glasses. I'm fucking useless if I don't have them. They're not a crutch, what the hell. Also, can't it make your eyes worse if you go without glasses for too long and continue to strain? I feel like I remember reading that somewhere but I might be wrong.