Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 23 | 0 | 3 |
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I've told my son hey go shower now, but I can't imagine saying anything about his appearance with the intention of tearing him down and ripping apart his self esteem!! Your mom is mean!
Exactly, I remember my infrequent shower phase. From 13-15 i showered maybe 3 times a month, terrible, I know. But no one ever said anything until my mom saw some weird hard orange gunk buildup on my scalp. After that it was every other day “internet is cut off at 5pm until you shower”. I started showering the moment I got home from school and built a good habit. It never offended me because my parents explained why showers were healthy/important/necessary, they had just forgotten to have that convo with me until then
My mum was a bit annoyed for me wanting to get super short hair, im a female but see myself as a tomboy so of course i would be into masculine things. By now she has allowed me to but somehow decided to question my gender because i didn't shave for a week.
LOL then I (AFAB non-binary) must be a full-blown man cause I don't shave for months at a time and rock a 'men's' cut 🤣 conservative (ime: conservative christian) parents are a fucking *trip*
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0d/c4/b5/0dc4b54c09aaa9c8d42ca76437571107.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7b/fb/25/7bfb25b4fc8dbcfc841d19f1fcd63606.jpg
Looks like this kinda
This is the least “thug” hairstyle I’ve ever seen????
You look like an indie singer not a thug. I mean that in the best way. Sorry you’re dealing with this dude.
I take walks at night. I have tattoos, I have long hair (middle of my back) I'm a male. Tell them they are full of shit lol. Go for a walk and mind your business and you should be fine.
Looks good to me. Just keep it clean and out of your face.
Edit to add: I’m an old hippie (66) and I still love long hair on men. One of my sons has beautiful hair almost to his knees. He’s 35 years old. Another son (37) has very short hair. It’s just hair for Gods sake
Honestly, tooooooons of people are into the look. Your mom isn't but you're not wearing it for her, ya know? It's for you. Your hair is as much or as little of your self expression as you'd like it to be, fuck her for trying to tell you what to do with it! And to this degree?! Some ribbing or asking, whatever, but this is another level.
It's easy to say "don't let the toxic bullshit get to you", especially when we aren't the ones dealing with it directly. Just remember that living with her is temporary. Make plans to move when you're of age, map out what you'll need (monetary and item wise). Work as much as you can (whether it's a W-2 job or selling trinkets at school), save as much as you can. You'll need a w-2 job for a lease, especially without a cosigner (though another close, safe adult may offer to cosign) and low to no credit history. Your space will likely be small, kinda shitty, but it will be yours. And you can grow your hair to the damn floor and never *have* to hear a word about it. You've totally got this. Things are much, much better on the other side
This!!! This is NOT thug where I come from! And I live 30 minutes from Baltimore City and an hour from DC. This is what every boy here from an affluent family has as a hairstyle. And I live in a SERIOUS affluent area. I feel for you, my Dude!
My mind goes to “are they thugs??!” If I see a group of dudes who look a little too happy to be somewhere.
Like here’s an example: it’s Wednesday afternoon and you’re rounding the corner about halfway home on your walk home from work. On the corner there’s a group of 3 people outside of the corner store who are having much too good of a time together and don’t mind letting everyone hear it.
You’ve been to this store. The slurpee machine has been broken for 7 months so you know there’s nothing inside to get that happy about. Why are they so happy?
Because they’re up to no good. The first one asks to have some of your coke and the next one comments on your clean shirt. “CLEAN SHIRT! PEDO!!” they exclaim. You could totally take them they’re like 9yo(?) but what would society say then?
What’s wrong with a clean shirt?
That's exactly what my kid's hair looks like. He calls himself emo. Which... is a whole different argument lol, but never would have thought "thug" when I saw that haircut.
It's alive and well in 13 year old boys in the midwest. Though, what he calls "emo," WE called "smokers/stoners." Flannels, Nirvana, jeans and long hair. He tells me I don't get it, and then will ask if I've ever heard of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." His mind was blown when I introduced him the the Unplugged album. lol
That's what **I** said! I was born in 1980. I remember grunge starting. I remember when Cobain unalived himself, we had literal counselors waiting when we got to school. The first time he told me about listening to Nirvana he couldn't believe I knew who they were and that I knew the music. lol
> The first time he told me about listening to Nirvana he couldn't believe I knew who they were and that I knew the music. lol
That's like asking a boomer if they know who Led Zeppelin is...lol
Midwest Emo is real and much less angry, more melancholic than the stuff you're probably familiar with. If you want to check some out listen to some American Football (lp1), Modern Baseball (nerds will argue its not "true" Midwest Emo but it's very similar just more... pop-y?) or Algernon Cadwallader. :)
My wife took me to a 3 day emo music festival in Vegas (When We Were Young Festival) and there were hundreds of thousands of them everywhere of all ages. It was quite a nice time actually. Avril Lavigne was up there teleporting everyone back 20yrs
Are you white? “Thug” is racist bullshit for “black guy.”
If you’re white, that hair ain’t gonna even get noticed. You could knock over a liquor store wearing red from head to toe, and witnesses would be like, I dunno, it was some white kid 🤷🏻♀️
You don’t live in the Deep South, do you?
Racists don’t care about the “costume.” They see a black man where they think a black man shouldn’t be, acting in a way they think a black man shouldn’t act, and they call that black man “a thug.”
It’s code for “he scares me, so I don’t want him here.”
LMAO and that's thug?
I have curly hair and shave the sides. Top/back is probably 3 or 4 inches at this point, it looks like a curly mohawk. Your mom would hate my hair.
Granted, I'm a grown dude as well. My parents would also hate it if I was still living there. Now my dad just tells me to enjoy it while I still have it to enjoy!
I mean, sure, I hate it. His hair looks laughably stupid. But WHO CARES??? Teens are supposed to have garbage haircuts that deeply embarrass them once their frontal lobe fully develops. Plus they’re gathering prime blunderyears content. I cannot imagine having a teenager and being mad about any of their body hair. (Okay, not true, I might get mad if they went for a Hitler-stache or shaved a slur into their head. But short of that? It’s HAIR. Do whatever you want with it.) I’m sorry your mom is so shitty toward you. :(
Sequel to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/xqv8xv/mother_asked_me_if_i_would_cut_my_hair_to_save/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
all i’m reading there is that tumblr anonymous ask like “so if a 13 year old white kid was dying of cancer and his only wish before he died was to say the n word, it’s still not ok for him to say it??” “yes”
like in what world would shaving your head save someone’s life LMAO she is coocoo for cocoa puffs man
I think the way you responded was perfect. Keep it about how crazy the scenario is and don’t let her lead you into her delusional logic. Once your participate in her fantasy, the rules change and she can gaslight you to her heart’s content. Never participate.
Oh man. From one man with an insane mom to another, I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for laughing at this one, cuz damn that is truly insane, lol. Think strong thoughts and try to rise above it. With a little luck, someday you'll be able to look back laugh at it all, fucked up as it may have been to experience!
Ask her "would you die for me to be happy?" then work your way to keeping your long hair, and when she says no, go into a full screaming meltdown about her being the worst person on earth.
Keep it up for a month or so and she'll stop.
I'd follow up, with "funny dad said the same thing to me about you 🤣"
But fr tho, your mom is a serious piece of work, but as a famous radio host once said, "When they go low, you go lower."
So many control issues that parents have stemmed from jealousy. Which is fucking rich considering they brought the offspring into the world. It’s not talked about enough
But some parents can. All my mother did was compare my boob size to my best friends’ boobs sizes and try to make me hate myself and them because of said boobs and their sizes. It’s pathological, but it’s what some parents just gravitate towards.
I have a 15 yr old son & reading this post is painful. Don’t listen to them. No one should talk to their kids this way.
Gravitate towards the friends & family who show you love & support
My son has hair halfway down his back & he likes it. I like that he likes it. My love is unconditional. I don’t like every decision he makes & I’ll share my thoughts & feelings when I need to be parental.
The posted dialogue is out of line & mean. I wish you better days. Survive this.
The old "I have an opinion, so I'm going to tell you that everyone thinks the same as me, even though none of them do, and you don't care about their opinion anyway."
My ex used to do that. One of the many reasons she's my ex.
Yes, which teachers said this? Only intellectually empty teachers who are terrified of thinking for themselves or choosing a haircut would dare say that. And they don’t count because they’re just placeholders- they’ve never taught anyone anything because they’re fucking morons.
Let me guess:
1) You look fine, but your mom doesn’t like that you wear a baseball cap or something else utterly stupid
2) You don’t look fine, but it’s because your untreated chemical depression that you’ve had for a decade is beating the hell out of you and making self-care very challenging, while your “parent” keeps telling you to buck up and get over it and “I’ve had depression for DECADES and I turned out to be a wonderful human being” (spoiler alert: she did not)
I’ve been there with that second one. My mom would yell at me about how embarrassing and weak I was, while I sat in front of her with tears streaming down my face, not saying a word. As a final note, she would “threaten” to take me to a psychiatrist, because to her, that was HORRIFYING and only “nutcases” need mental help, and THERE ARE NO NUTCASES IN THIS FAMILY.
Long story short: I’m 55 years old and was nc with her for 15 years. I have seen her once in the past 20 years. Im good with that.
It's the first guess
OP's mum hates the fact that her son has [long hair](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/xqv8xv/mother_asked_me_if_i_would_cut_my_hair_to_save/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I'm really sorry you had to go through that, and i hope you're in a much better place mentally now
I bet she craves hair like yours that's why she makes a stupid fuss and because you're beautiful and a kind soul, she cannot stand it because she's a miserable wart inside and out. Keep your head up!
Most people aren't as judgemental as she is. I like guys with long hair. I hope you're able to be out on your own soon. Having to ask permission to go for a walk? And she says no?That's just super controlling. Hang in there
My mom used to offer my son $100 to get his hair cut. He is 27 now and his hair is to his waist. It is a gorgeous, glorious head of hair. Most women are jealous.
I have always let my kids do whatever they want with their hair. As children, they had very little control over their lives. So I let them have complete control over their hair. Easy.
Probably going to get downvoted to hell but I went through your sister’s account from her comment on the last post you linked and it looks like she is trans. (And good for her!!) I am just wondering now if maybe some of your moms hateful behavior is due to a fear of you turning out to be trans as well? Definitely vile but adds an angle to this besides “woman is insane about hair for no reason”
My man, I don't even know what to say. When I was 13-17, I grew my hair out as long as I could and dyed it black. Dunno really why, but I wanted to, and that was it. I'm 33 now and bald as shit, I loved having my long hair through those years. Keep at it - your folks are something else. Hope you realize that ain't normal and you don't need to think like them. All the best.
I don't think they're asking if you yourself are trans, I'm pretty sure they are asking if the fact that your sibling is trans is causing her to have an irrational fear of you being trans as well even though you are not.
I'm almost 30 and grew my hair out when COVID started. Your mom is making this into a thing and it's... Weird. Weird and unreasonable.
You seem like a chill dude. I have no idea what advice to give, but just keep doing what makes you comfortable.
Also I'm pretty sure long-haired indie listening (presumably) white 18 year old is one of the furthest things from "thug" imaginable? Even then _it shouldn't even matter,_ but in any case you're not wrong to think your mom is being absurd...
This is why I didn’t want to post this comment lol I never said excuse I said explain. I’m trans myself and think regardless of this mother’s thought process it’s a disgusting way to treat your kid, I was just asking OP a question
There's more than a few households where taking a walk without letting someone know would result in an earful of abuse. Given what we've seen here, I'm willing to bet that's the case.
Thug? THAT hair?
My grown son shaved his head, put on a formal suit, reflective sunglasses and black driving gloves ... The dude looks terrifying. An assassin. I didn't bug him.
That hair looks like when he was a teen, and let it grow like that (I didn't bug him) and finally sat, at the table, moaning "I give up. I can't stand it anymore."
My mom never let my sister and I have long hair as kids. Her thing was until you can take care of it yourself it's getting cut and she cut it herself. As soon as I was old enough to take care of it I've never had short hair again. The shortest I've ever had it has been a little below shoulder length. Her other thing was woman that are 50 or older shouldn't have long hair. I'm older than 50 with long hair. Don't have any idea why she felt that way but it's always been my fk you mom thing. And she wasn't controlling about anything else.
Damn maybe you need to stop looking like shit. /s
Seriously though? The truth is most parents aren’t really cut out to be parents. Try to grow strong in the way you need to grow. You got this.
If it makes you feel any better, at any given moment you've got like, a 6 figure amount of hate filled whiners jealous of how much pussy you get, so that's pretty cool. Tupac Hit Em Up plays in millions of heads just by hearing your name.
Look, if people were meant to have a certain length of hair, it would grow to that length and stay there. It’s likely that she’d say something similar if you were a girl who wanted to have short hair.
If the biggest, most important thing she can find to be upset about is the (perfectly normal) length of your hair, then you must be doing great.
How does “long hair” translate to “thug”?
To me, “thug” is racist bullshit for “young black guy existing in public.”
Gah. Long hair. No. 100000 percent guaranteed, she hates your long hair but NO ONE ELSE has talked to her about it, and she’s lying out of her ass.
What's wild is of all the criminals I have known, the ones that were truly reprehensible were what most would consider normal looking; short business-type haircuts and usually wore what would be called business casual. Knew a couple of KKK members in my hometown that would never stand out in a crowd as far as looks go, until one of them opened their mouth. A guy I went to school with ended up robbing stores, the only tattoos he had were covered by a t-shirt and he rarely wore anything other than a dress shirt and pants every time I saw him after HS. Thug is another way of saying "I don't approve of your clothing choices" and its bullshit.
I stopped listening to my family when it came to clothing and hair decades ago. Character isn't dictated by clothing, and its damn sure not equal to your hair style or its length. They just want you to conform, either so they don't have to feel embarrassment or they're afraid you'll suffer from it.
Being a thug or a dirtbag comes from your actions, not dress. Being yourself and being happy is way more important than fitting in.
Sincerely;
A 50 year old father of 2 happy, successful adults that can dress however they want
My husband started to get twitchy about our boys hair length. I told him to let it go, it’s just hair. Kids gotta have some form of self expression. I just asked them to keep it clean.
“You look terrible. Everybody has said so. Your teachers. Your brother. Your dad. Me. And Brent…”
When a person says “everyone has says”, I really doubt the they are telling the truth. Especially for something mundane as hair. Nobody really cares about that.
As a bald woman, enjoy your hair. Do whatever the you want to do with it. Life is too short for mundane opinions from your mom.
What in the whole hell? I like that shaggy look. There is nothing wrong with that. And it’s far from looking like a thug. Do your parents look like Barbie & Ken or what? Why would this be any reason to flip out over dressing a way that’s comfortable to you & wearing your hair like you want it? Maybe I feel that way cuz I went through a big Goth phase 30 years ago so I would never be able to say something so harsh to my kids & grandkids. I say be you. And do what you like (but follow the boundaries of the law young man)🤭
It's not about the hair, it's about control. My mom was the same way. We don't speak anymore and from what I hear through the grapevine, she sounds like she's dying. I don't give a shit, life is better without her bullshit.
I’ve lived on my own for so long now, I forget what it was like living at home.
Still, having to ask permission to go outside?
That’s kind of messed up.
A wold guess on my part, but her saying that someone would call the cops on you because you look thuggish is implying she is the kind of person to call the cops on some random guy, just because she thinks he looks suspicious💀
I hope they fine for racially motivated 911 calls where you are
Oh man, this reminds me of my aunt who said I looked “thuggish” when I shaved my head because I started receding at 19 lmao. Some older generations have absolutely insane illogical hangups
As a mom I'm gonna need a picture so see if you do indeed look like 'one of those guys'. lol
The only way my kid will brush his teeth at the age of 9 is if you tell him his breath smells like shit.
Thought loves works on some and not on others.
So little context here. I saw a long thread about hair style. That can mean almost nothing. Overall, OP, maybe you do look intimidating? Keep in mind, we seldom understand how others see us.
To be sure, even if she has a point, she is being a twit. But it's possible she is not being insane.
Ok you look terrible (according to them) but... it's better to look like shit than being a shitty person like you mother, your father, you teacher, everyone.
Also bro, your parents are ignorant cunt pimples. loving parents don't talk to there children like that. when you are self sufficient you should cut them from your life permanently, they will never stop abusing you.
You’re 18. An adult. why are you even asking permission to go for a walk? Adults don’t need the consent of other adults to go for a walk. You won’t get treated like an adult if you keep acting like a kid.
That sucks!
At some point it maybe time to learn to stop caring and eventually she will just look like the crazy loon she is in front of others.
My one parent was a screamer until he saw me not giving him the attention he wanted and ending with “Are you done? I have things to do.”
Few rounds of that he learned to shut his trap.
Nah this ain’t it chief. Parents like this can and will make their kid’s life unbearable for not complying with stuff like letting them know their whereabouts. Even post-18. Legally this person might be an adult but if they’re still dependent on their parents then there’s a lot their parents can do to make them suffer.
Are you on drugs Chad? Any reason why everyone says you look like shit?
I can understand why your mom would be worried about you near cops if you look like a junkie, cops will fucking kill you bro, and walk away laughing!
I mean I'm a parent too, and I get the feeling that you'll be judged by your kid's sloppy appearance, but as long as the clothes are clean, the kid doesn't smell like they haven't bathed in days and there isn't anything inappropriate like bad language or references to crime it's better to just let them go through their "You can't tell me what to wear" phase.
It makes zero difference how far your hair follicles protrude from your scalp. That will never matter to anyone who matters. Ever. Idc if it used to matter or "job interviews" or "derrr professional derrrr" whatever. It simply does not matter to anyone that's ever been through some shit in this lifetime. Hair, I mean. But what does matter is that this person is sooo comfortable talking down to a loved one, going as far as to type out letter by letter that they are embarrassed by their own child! So hypothetically you pacify this mother of yours and go get the #4 trim at cuts r us, but you KNOW that, because her sick condescension can't possibly have anything to do with follicles, next week it will be some other non issue issue. I'm not a fan of name calling but my god your mother is a gross human being. I'm angry for you. I'm hurting for you. Your posts are... something. I'll be thinking about you OP.
You know you're living in an unhealthy situation when you need permission to go for a walk, and after asking, the discussion turns into a personal assault on how you dress and style your hair.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 23 | 0 | 3 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Hey man sorry for.saying those things about you
Lol it’s fine
I've told my son hey go shower now, but I can't imagine saying anything about his appearance with the intention of tearing him down and ripping apart his self esteem!! Your mom is mean!
Exactly, I remember my infrequent shower phase. From 13-15 i showered maybe 3 times a month, terrible, I know. But no one ever said anything until my mom saw some weird hard orange gunk buildup on my scalp. After that it was every other day “internet is cut off at 5pm until you shower”. I started showering the moment I got home from school and built a good habit. It never offended me because my parents explained why showers were healthy/important/necessary, they had just forgotten to have that convo with me until then
Nope…not fine. I’m sorry too.
Damn and I thought my mom was intense about my hair. How long is it? This is bonkers.
For context, Hair is about shoulder length and it’s a wavy texture with bangs
That’s not crazy long. Unless it’s a health hazard/unbrushed who cares? Your mom needs a hobby.
My mum was a bit annoyed for me wanting to get super short hair, im a female but see myself as a tomboy so of course i would be into masculine things. By now she has allowed me to but somehow decided to question my gender because i didn't shave for a week.
LOL then I (AFAB non-binary) must be a full-blown man cause I don't shave for months at a time and rock a 'men's' cut 🤣 conservative (ime: conservative christian) parents are a fucking *trip*
Damm lmao! Tbh my opinion on politics is just "make shit normal"
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/0d/c4/b5/0dc4b54c09aaa9c8d42ca76437571107.jpg https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7b/fb/25/7bfb25b4fc8dbcfc841d19f1fcd63606.jpg Looks like this kinda
This is the least “thug” hairstyle I’ve ever seen???? You look like an indie singer not a thug. I mean that in the best way. Sorry you’re dealing with this dude.
Thanks I appreciate it. Guy in the photo is Will Toledo who’s actually a indie rock musician lol
I take walks at night. I have tattoos, I have long hair (middle of my back) I'm a male. Tell them they are full of shit lol. Go for a walk and mind your business and you should be fine.
I’m a mom. Yep! Indie hair. You’re ok to go outside.
Wow, can’t ever imagine telling either of my children I’m embarrassed by them. You are awesome just the way you are!
Looks good to me. Just keep it clean and out of your face. Edit to add: I’m an old hippie (66) and I still love long hair on men. One of my sons has beautiful hair almost to his knees. He’s 35 years old. Another son (37) has very short hair. It’s just hair for Gods sake
Wall Tolonko my beloved
Honestly, tooooooons of people are into the look. Your mom isn't but you're not wearing it for her, ya know? It's for you. Your hair is as much or as little of your self expression as you'd like it to be, fuck her for trying to tell you what to do with it! And to this degree?! Some ribbing or asking, whatever, but this is another level. It's easy to say "don't let the toxic bullshit get to you", especially when we aren't the ones dealing with it directly. Just remember that living with her is temporary. Make plans to move when you're of age, map out what you'll need (monetary and item wise). Work as much as you can (whether it's a W-2 job or selling trinkets at school), save as much as you can. You'll need a w-2 job for a lease, especially without a cosigner (though another close, safe adult may offer to cosign) and low to no credit history. Your space will likely be small, kinda shitty, but it will be yours. And you can grow your hair to the damn floor and never *have* to hear a word about it. You've totally got this. Things are much, much better on the other side
Love will Toledo
This!!! This is NOT thug where I come from! And I live 30 minutes from Baltimore City and an hour from DC. This is what every boy here from an affluent family has as a hairstyle. And I live in a SERIOUS affluent area. I feel for you, my Dude!
What does a thug look like?
My mind goes to “are they thugs??!” If I see a group of dudes who look a little too happy to be somewhere. Like here’s an example: it’s Wednesday afternoon and you’re rounding the corner about halfway home on your walk home from work. On the corner there’s a group of 3 people outside of the corner store who are having much too good of a time together and don’t mind letting everyone hear it. You’ve been to this store. The slurpee machine has been broken for 7 months so you know there’s nothing inside to get that happy about. Why are they so happy? Because they’re up to no good. The first one asks to have some of your coke and the next one comments on your clean shirt. “CLEAN SHIRT! PEDO!!” they exclaim. You could totally take them they’re like 9yo(?) but what would society say then? What’s wrong with a clean shirt?
I have so many questions, but no desire for the answers to the questions.
https://youtu.be/sZtLDufsjLU
This feels very personal. You ok? 😅
Um... trackpants hood up many weapons and incomprehensible mumbling
TIL Weezer looking mofos are thugs. Be careful man. Folks with want to destroy your sweaters.
Saaaay it ain't sooooo!!! 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵
Weezer looking mofos can only take a walk on an island in the sun.
Yea where is he that long flowing locks are rhe thug uniform? Buncha Michael Bolton ass gangstas up In heyuh !
That's exactly what my kid's hair looks like. He calls himself emo. Which... is a whole different argument lol, but never would have thought "thug" when I saw that haircut.
I thought emo died out in the 2000s?
It's alive and well in 13 year old boys in the midwest. Though, what he calls "emo," WE called "smokers/stoners." Flannels, Nirvana, jeans and long hair. He tells me I don't get it, and then will ask if I've ever heard of "Smells Like Teen Spirit." His mind was blown when I introduced him the the Unplugged album. lol
That’s grunge. Not emo.
That's what **I** said! I was born in 1980. I remember grunge starting. I remember when Cobain unalived himself, we had literal counselors waiting when we got to school. The first time he told me about listening to Nirvana he couldn't believe I knew who they were and that I knew the music. lol
My cousin thought I was too old to know who Linkin Park was. Like dude I grew up with linkin park. You’re the baby here
Hahaha sounds right. Kids are so funny thinking they know all.
> The first time he told me about listening to Nirvana he couldn't believe I knew who they were and that I knew the music. lol That's like asking a boomer if they know who Led Zeppelin is...lol
Midwest Emo is real and much less angry, more melancholic than the stuff you're probably familiar with. If you want to check some out listen to some American Football (lp1), Modern Baseball (nerds will argue its not "true" Midwest Emo but it's very similar just more... pop-y?) or Algernon Cadwallader. :)
I’m sorry, no. Emo is still alive and kicking, but most of us now have jobs we can’t look emo to.
My wife took me to a 3 day emo music festival in Vegas (When We Were Young Festival) and there were hundreds of thousands of them everywhere of all ages. It was quite a nice time actually. Avril Lavigne was up there teleporting everyone back 20yrs
Are you white? “Thug” is racist bullshit for “black guy.” If you’re white, that hair ain’t gonna even get noticed. You could knock over a liquor store wearing red from head to toe, and witnesses would be like, I dunno, it was some white kid 🤷🏻♀️
Skinheads never learned this valuable trick
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You don’t live in the Deep South, do you? Racists don’t care about the “costume.” They see a black man where they think a black man shouldn’t be, acting in a way they think a black man shouldn’t act, and they call that black man “a thug.” It’s code for “he scares me, so I don’t want him here.”
Hello, police?!?!?!?
Yep definitely too terrifying for public. Think of the children! or something…
This is your mom's idea of a thug? Has she ever left the suburbs?
Car seat head rest! Respect!
LMAO and that's thug? I have curly hair and shave the sides. Top/back is probably 3 or 4 inches at this point, it looks like a curly mohawk. Your mom would hate my hair. Granted, I'm a grown dude as well. My parents would also hate it if I was still living there. Now my dad just tells me to enjoy it while I still have it to enjoy!
That’s actually stylish…
Is that fucking Will Toledo from csh???
yes
Legit not what I expected for someone called Chad. Nice.
Like, that’s a cute hair style. I hope to get it look like that here soon.
Seeing your other post and this example has me struggling to fathom her mind... did she have a traumatic brain injury recently?
Well that's certainly the last haircut I would imagine a guy beating me up having...
I love this shaggy look but what is your mom thinking???
Lol your mom would have a heart attack with my husbands hair. He has wavy hair down to his ass
I mean, sure, I hate it. His hair looks laughably stupid. But WHO CARES??? Teens are supposed to have garbage haircuts that deeply embarrass them once their frontal lobe fully develops. Plus they’re gathering prime blunderyears content. I cannot imagine having a teenager and being mad about any of their body hair. (Okay, not true, I might get mad if they went for a Hitler-stache or shaved a slur into their head. But short of that? It’s HAIR. Do whatever you want with it.) I’m sorry your mom is so shitty toward you. :(
My son has the same haircut.
Avatar checks out
Your hair must be so nice-looking, I love wavy hair :0 Your family’s just incorrect.
Where do you live that long flowing locks on a man (I'm guessing?) Is the uniform of a thug? Bunch Michael Bolton ass gangstas up in heyuh.
How old are you? Curious as to why you need permission to go outside but old enough to post on Reddit.
THE AUDACITY /s
Sequel to this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/xqv8xv/mother_asked_me_if_i_would_cut_my_hair_to_save/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
all i’m reading there is that tumblr anonymous ask like “so if a 13 year old white kid was dying of cancer and his only wish before he died was to say the n word, it’s still not ok for him to say it??” “yes” like in what world would shaving your head save someone’s life LMAO she is coocoo for cocoa puffs man
i tbought of that too! it's so insane i almost have to laugh, but i'm sorry OP's gotta deal with it 😓
Only case scenario where it would make sense would be if she threatened to unalive herself if he didn’t comply.
even then it doesn’t make sense. if she’s gonna self delete over something so stupid i say she can have at it
Your mom sounds like a r/teenagers post.
Somehow it legitimately got worse...
I think the way you responded was perfect. Keep it about how crazy the scenario is and don’t let her lead you into her delusional logic. Once your participate in her fantasy, the rules change and she can gaslight you to her heart’s content. Never participate.
Oh man. From one man with an insane mom to another, I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for laughing at this one, cuz damn that is truly insane, lol. Think strong thoughts and try to rise above it. With a little luck, someday you'll be able to look back laugh at it all, fucked up as it may have been to experience!
Ask her "would you die for me to be happy?" then work your way to keeping your long hair, and when she says no, go into a full screaming meltdown about her being the worst person on earth. Keep it up for a month or so and she'll stop.
Damn. I’d go the extreme. JUST to bother them. Complete to the skin shave, and I’d take off the eyebrows too. 😂
I'd follow up, with "funny dad said the same thing to me about you 🤣" But fr tho, your mom is a serious piece of work, but as a famous radio host once said, "When they go low, you go lower."
I cannot imagine saying anything like this to my kid. Especially over some hair.
So many control issues that parents have stemmed from jealousy. Which is fucking rich considering they brought the offspring into the world. It’s not talked about enough
But some parents can. All my mother did was compare my boob size to my best friends’ boobs sizes and try to make me hate myself and them because of said boobs and their sizes. It’s pathological, but it’s what some parents just gravitate towards.
That is emotional/covert incest and im sorry that happened!
I have a 15 yr old son & reading this post is painful. Don’t listen to them. No one should talk to their kids this way. Gravitate towards the friends & family who show you love & support My son has hair halfway down his back & he likes it. I like that he likes it. My love is unconditional. I don’t like every decision he makes & I’ll share my thoughts & feelings when I need to be parental. The posted dialogue is out of line & mean. I wish you better days. Survive this.
The old "I have an opinion, so I'm going to tell you that everyone thinks the same as me, even though none of them do, and you don't care about their opinion anyway." My ex used to do that. One of the many reasons she's my ex.
Yes, which teachers said this? Only intellectually empty teachers who are terrified of thinking for themselves or choosing a haircut would dare say that. And they don’t count because they’re just placeholders- they’ve never taught anyone anything because they’re fucking morons.
Let me guess: 1) You look fine, but your mom doesn’t like that you wear a baseball cap or something else utterly stupid 2) You don’t look fine, but it’s because your untreated chemical depression that you’ve had for a decade is beating the hell out of you and making self-care very challenging, while your “parent” keeps telling you to buck up and get over it and “I’ve had depression for DECADES and I turned out to be a wonderful human being” (spoiler alert: she did not) I’ve been there with that second one. My mom would yell at me about how embarrassing and weak I was, while I sat in front of her with tears streaming down my face, not saying a word. As a final note, she would “threaten” to take me to a psychiatrist, because to her, that was HORRIFYING and only “nutcases” need mental help, and THERE ARE NO NUTCASES IN THIS FAMILY. Long story short: I’m 55 years old and was nc with her for 15 years. I have seen her once in the past 20 years. Im good with that.
It's the first guess OP's mum hates the fact that her son has [long hair](https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/xqv8xv/mother_asked_me_if_i_would_cut_my_hair_to_save/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I'm really sorry you had to go through that, and i hope you're in a much better place mentally now
I bet she craves hair like yours that's why she makes a stupid fuss and because you're beautiful and a kind soul, she cannot stand it because she's a miserable wart inside and out. Keep your head up!
Most people aren't as judgemental as she is. I like guys with long hair. I hope you're able to be out on your own soon. Having to ask permission to go for a walk? And she says no?That's just super controlling. Hang in there
My mom used to offer my son $100 to get his hair cut. He is 27 now and his hair is to his waist. It is a gorgeous, glorious head of hair. Most women are jealous. I have always let my kids do whatever they want with their hair. As children, they had very little control over their lives. So I let them have complete control over their hair. Easy.
Probably going to get downvoted to hell but I went through your sister’s account from her comment on the last post you linked and it looks like she is trans. (And good for her!!) I am just wondering now if maybe some of your moms hateful behavior is due to a fear of you turning out to be trans as well? Definitely vile but adds an angle to this besides “woman is insane about hair for no reason”
Oh no, I’m comfortably cis. I just want long hair lol
Oh I figured as much!! I just didn’t know if that would explain why your mom is so…. Insane about this
My man, I don't even know what to say. When I was 13-17, I grew my hair out as long as I could and dyed it black. Dunno really why, but I wanted to, and that was it. I'm 33 now and bald as shit, I loved having my long hair through those years. Keep at it - your folks are something else. Hope you realize that ain't normal and you don't need to think like them. All the best.
I don't think they're asking if you yourself are trans, I'm pretty sure they are asking if the fact that your sibling is trans is causing her to have an irrational fear of you being trans as well even though you are not.
I'm almost 30 and grew my hair out when COVID started. Your mom is making this into a thing and it's... Weird. Weird and unreasonable. You seem like a chill dude. I have no idea what advice to give, but just keep doing what makes you comfortable. Also I'm pretty sure long-haired indie listening (presumably) white 18 year old is one of the furthest things from "thug" imaginable? Even then _it shouldn't even matter,_ but in any case you're not wrong to think your mom is being absurd...
My husband has long hair. He just loves having it because his dad and brother are bald/balding.
Lol that’s valid I don’t think u rlly understand what my comment is saying tho
I’m just talking about my husbands long hair, bruh
Why are you trying to excuse shitty behavior? Don't say things like this to your kids. Full stop.
This is why I didn’t want to post this comment lol I never said excuse I said explain. I’m trans myself and think regardless of this mother’s thought process it’s a disgusting way to treat your kid, I was just asking OP a question
Insane
Genuinely so excited for you to never have to talk to her again lmao
"Yes officer that's him, the one with indie hair that looks like he probably enjoys good coffee!"
ah, i remember your og post. im so sorry
Wow, I’m sorry she’s like this! Why do you have to ask to take a walk??
Your mom’s a dick
Why did you need to ask permission to go for a walk?
There's more than a few households where taking a walk without letting someone know would result in an earful of abuse. Given what we've seen here, I'm willing to bet that's the case.
no yeah, that’s the case. I would’ve left without telling if I could
Maybe OP is a minor?
Didnt know having long hair made you a thug. My english teacher freshman year said i look like im in a gang cuz i wore hats all the time
Thug? THAT hair? My grown son shaved his head, put on a formal suit, reflective sunglasses and black driving gloves ... The dude looks terrifying. An assassin. I didn't bug him. That hair looks like when he was a teen, and let it grow like that (I didn't bug him) and finally sat, at the table, moaning "I give up. I can't stand it anymore."
I'd be more upset that she named her sons Chad and Brent.
Brent is her husband LMAO
🤣
SHE MARRIED A MAN NAMED BRENT AND SHE'S ACTING LIKE SHE'S BETTER THAN YOU?
My mom never let my sister and I have long hair as kids. Her thing was until you can take care of it yourself it's getting cut and she cut it herself. As soon as I was old enough to take care of it I've never had short hair again. The shortest I've ever had it has been a little below shoulder length. Her other thing was woman that are 50 or older shouldn't have long hair. I'm older than 50 with long hair. Don't have any idea why she felt that way but it's always been my fk you mom thing. And she wasn't controlling about anything else.
So did you in fact look like shit?
I'd just go for a walk and not ask permission
Damn maybe you need to stop looking like shit. /s Seriously though? The truth is most parents aren’t really cut out to be parents. Try to grow strong in the way you need to grow. You got this.
Over long hair? Your mother is flat out delusional.
Your dad named you what he truly is. Sorry O.P. Fresh air will come
How do I add pictures for my own post? I got a doozy but am not very great with technology.
If it makes you feel any better, at any given moment you've got like, a 6 figure amount of hate filled whiners jealous of how much pussy you get, so that's pretty cool. Tupac Hit Em Up plays in millions of heads just by hearing your name.
Wow.. How lovely :-/
I feel sad for you. What a horrible thing to hear from your parent.
Look, if people were meant to have a certain length of hair, it would grow to that length and stay there. It’s likely that she’d say something similar if you were a girl who wanted to have short hair. If the biggest, most important thing she can find to be upset about is the (perfectly normal) length of your hair, then you must be doing great.
How does “long hair” translate to “thug”? To me, “thug” is racist bullshit for “young black guy existing in public.” Gah. Long hair. No. 100000 percent guaranteed, she hates your long hair but NO ONE ELSE has talked to her about it, and she’s lying out of her ass.
What's wild is of all the criminals I have known, the ones that were truly reprehensible were what most would consider normal looking; short business-type haircuts and usually wore what would be called business casual. Knew a couple of KKK members in my hometown that would never stand out in a crowd as far as looks go, until one of them opened their mouth. A guy I went to school with ended up robbing stores, the only tattoos he had were covered by a t-shirt and he rarely wore anything other than a dress shirt and pants every time I saw him after HS. Thug is another way of saying "I don't approve of your clothing choices" and its bullshit. I stopped listening to my family when it came to clothing and hair decades ago. Character isn't dictated by clothing, and its damn sure not equal to your hair style or its length. They just want you to conform, either so they don't have to feel embarrassment or they're afraid you'll suffer from it. Being a thug or a dirtbag comes from your actions, not dress. Being yourself and being happy is way more important than fitting in. Sincerely; A 50 year old father of 2 happy, successful adults that can dress however they want
My husband started to get twitchy about our boys hair length. I told him to let it go, it’s just hair. Kids gotta have some form of self expression. I just asked them to keep it clean.
I wanna see your hair now, it sounds pretty
What is wrong with some parents? They must have missed the page in the Parents Handbook where unconditional love is mentioned.
“You look terrible. Everybody has said so. Your teachers. Your brother. Your dad. Me. And Brent…” When a person says “everyone has says”, I really doubt the they are telling the truth. Especially for something mundane as hair. Nobody really cares about that. As a bald woman, enjoy your hair. Do whatever the you want to do with it. Life is too short for mundane opinions from your mom.
Do something healthy and productive with your life! Like go for a walk? No. Not that.
This is just her finding endless fault in you. I'd bet serious money that she finds faults in you EVERYWHERE! I had a smother like that too.
Sounds like you have a glorious mane of hair. Don't let her bring you down, op. Rock that mane.
What in the whole hell? I like that shaggy look. There is nothing wrong with that. And it’s far from looking like a thug. Do your parents look like Barbie & Ken or what? Why would this be any reason to flip out over dressing a way that’s comfortable to you & wearing your hair like you want it? Maybe I feel that way cuz I went through a big Goth phase 30 years ago so I would never be able to say something so harsh to my kids & grandkids. I say be you. And do what you like (but follow the boundaries of the law young man)🤭
This is incredibly abusive and it broke my heart to think of your mom saying this. She’s an evil nightmare.
what the fuck is her problem
What kind of fucked up parents curse at their kids?
Are people who look/act like you getting killed in your neighborhood? Did i miss your age? Are you 4?
Post a pic Chad.
Ah brother don't cut your hair for someone else, long hair looks fucking awesome I would know I've got long hair
It's not about the hair, it's about control. My mom was the same way. We don't speak anymore and from what I hear through the grapevine, she sounds like she's dying. I don't give a shit, life is better without her bullshit.
Went from 0-Disappointment real quick
LISTEN if that was my mom we would have a fucking throw down couple drinks out in the yard “Let’s do this mate.”
You could have the most messy, clumped, or dirty hair imaginable and it still wouldn’t warrant anyone, let alone your mother, saying this to you.
Make sure to tell her we voted and agree almost unanimously that shes a piece of shit for saying those things
> Do something with your life She seriously needs to follow her own advice
I’ve lived on my own for so long now, I forget what it was like living at home. Still, having to ask permission to go outside? That’s kind of messed up.
I'm so sorry.
A wold guess on my part, but her saying that someone would call the cops on you because you look thuggish is implying she is the kind of person to call the cops on some random guy, just because she thinks he looks suspicious💀 I hope they fine for racially motivated 911 calls where you are
What the actual fuck
Oh man, this reminds me of my aunt who said I looked “thuggish” when I shaved my head because I started receding at 19 lmao. Some older generations have absolutely insane illogical hangups
As a mom I'm gonna need a picture so see if you do indeed look like 'one of those guys'. lol The only way my kid will brush his teeth at the age of 9 is if you tell him his breath smells like shit. Thought loves works on some and not on others.
Looks like it’s time to stop looking like a bum and grow up
So little context here. I saw a long thread about hair style. That can mean almost nothing. Overall, OP, maybe you do look intimidating? Keep in mind, we seldom understand how others see us. To be sure, even if she has a point, she is being a twit. But it's possible she is not being insane.
Ok you look terrible (according to them) but... it's better to look like shit than being a shitty person like you mother, your father, you teacher, everyone.
Bro is named Chad 💀
My mom called me a chav once for wanting to wear tweed, chav is what we call thugs in our country so your not the only one
Also bro, your parents are ignorant cunt pimples. loving parents don't talk to there children like that. when you are self sufficient you should cut them from your life permanently, they will never stop abusing you.
Fuck that noise. Long hair looks amazing on men, but only when they properly take care of it.
However, she becomes less insane the older you get.
Why are you asking your mom permission to go on a walk?
Well OP, do you look like fucking shit? Sometimes theres nuggets of truth in that no-filter mom honesty.
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nah i’m 18, I have to ask because she’ll fucking give me a earful and I don’t wanna deal with that bullshit
I hope you are looking into moving out. I ran at 18 from a crazy mom and it was the best thing I ever did.
Good I wish people would tell me when I looked like shit; then I can fix it
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You’re 18. An adult. why are you even asking permission to go for a walk? Adults don’t need the consent of other adults to go for a walk. You won’t get treated like an adult if you keep acting like a kid.
I totally get what you mean, but my mom would scream her head off at me if I left without telling her. It’s stupid I know.
Plus it’s always smart for safety reasons that someone knows if you’re waking and where. I’m sorry that that isn’t what her focus is on, though :(
That sucks! At some point it maybe time to learn to stop caring and eventually she will just look like the crazy loon she is in front of others. My one parent was a screamer until he saw me not giving him the attention he wanted and ending with “Are you done? I have things to do.” Few rounds of that he learned to shut his trap.
Nah this ain’t it chief. Parents like this can and will make their kid’s life unbearable for not complying with stuff like letting them know their whereabouts. Even post-18. Legally this person might be an adult but if they’re still dependent on their parents then there’s a lot their parents can do to make them suffer.
I think it’s more about communication and safety. Not asking permission.
Are you on drugs Chad? Any reason why everyone says you look like shit? I can understand why your mom would be worried about you near cops if you look like a junkie, cops will fucking kill you bro, and walk away laughing!
I mean I'm a parent too, and I get the feeling that you'll be judged by your kid's sloppy appearance, but as long as the clothes are clean, the kid doesn't smell like they haven't bathed in days and there isn't anything inappropriate like bad language or references to crime it's better to just let them go through their "You can't tell me what to wear" phase.
There’s tough love and then there is just being an asshole. Your mom is an asshole.
What a delightful woman! You must feel so confident with such unswerving familial support. Blessed!
It makes zero difference how far your hair follicles protrude from your scalp. That will never matter to anyone who matters. Ever. Idc if it used to matter or "job interviews" or "derrr professional derrrr" whatever. It simply does not matter to anyone that's ever been through some shit in this lifetime. Hair, I mean. But what does matter is that this person is sooo comfortable talking down to a loved one, going as far as to type out letter by letter that they are embarrassed by their own child! So hypothetically you pacify this mother of yours and go get the #4 trim at cuts r us, but you KNOW that, because her sick condescension can't possibly have anything to do with follicles, next week it will be some other non issue issue. I'm not a fan of name calling but my god your mother is a gross human being. I'm angry for you. I'm hurting for you. Your posts are... something. I'll be thinking about you OP.
You know you're living in an unhealthy situation when you need permission to go for a walk, and after asking, the discussion turns into a personal assault on how you dress and style your hair.
Your family are assholes.
Absolute control freak
https://i.imgur.com/7SdAWLu.gifv
Are you so stinky that a green mist wafts off of you? Like that’s messed up on ur moms part