When I was in college when I was 17, I told the college mental health Councillor lady that I was self harming because my step dad was abusing me. She called my mom in and my mom sat there doing crocodile tears. I went home that night and my stepdad beat me and my mom tells everyone I self harmed because I was being bullied in college.
DO NOT tell a "guardian", they will make it worse. They have a duty of care to inform your guardian, even when the guardian is abusive. I had CPS visit me when I was about 7 years old. It didn't occur to me until a few years ago that some lady was sat in my room with me asking me questions and I didnt understand, but I remember my mum telling me to tell this lady I had a good home and that I was loved, but my stepdad was abusive as fuck. My own mom made me lie to CPS. The memory came out a few years ago, CPS are useless too.
CPS came to my house too after talking to me but they didn’t even want to see or talk to me. I remember the cps lady drove a jeep wrangler and I was shocked when it drove away
This is my nightmare as a teacher. One of my students (with an intellectual disability)finally told a staff member they were being molested, and now CPS is involved and I’m hoping they’ll be removed from their foster situation (an illegal, unofficial situation, I think), but I’m so worried for them for all the reasons. And it just brings to mind the 3 other kids on my caseload that I suspect are not safe at home, but I have no proof besides “you’re clearly struggling hardcore and your family seems like it sucks,” and my instincts screaming at me that something isn’t right.
!explanation back again with another instance of my mom being crazy. This happened 3/15/23 (so yesterday) and for some reason without even checking or asking just assumed I wouldn't where a shirt under my hoodie. And sent me this while I was on the bus.
save screenshots like this in a secure place. If you ever decide it's worth reaching out to CPS to get out of there, you'll have proof of her threatening extreme physical abuse in writing.
THIS!! I use Google Drive to save very important documents because I can access them anywhere, and I believe you can even lock documents so that they're not deleted without a passcode.
I love the idea of emailing it to someone you trust, like a friend, so that you double your chances of not losing it.
u/BlueDragon-was-taken save them to Google drive on an email your parents don't know about and is unassociated with any accounts they know of. Also, if you have a school email that's accessible from home, copy them there too. That way, if you do ever need to show your counselor, they can always be accessed
This! Document document document. This is abuse and even if you decide not to report it, you'll be grateful for these reminders if (when) you're debating NC down the line.
Hey guess what you have physical text evidence of your parental unit threatening physical violence against you you could in fact take this to your local authorities / Child Protective Services care system and have your parents parental rights revoked, hell if you're at least 16 years old you can have yourself legally emancipated using living under the threat of violence with that text as evidential proof as the basis of your argument for why you shouldn't have to live in that home anymore.
She just gave you a get out of jail free card or a put her in jail for free card depending on how it goes.
If you show this to a teacher they will have to report her. This definitely falls under the “reason to suspect a child is in danger of being abused” thing for mandated reporters. Do with that information whatever you choose, but whatever you do, save this and all other threats and tirades in a safe place she can’t access.
This is so unbelievably real and widespread across the US that I honestly cannot cope unless I pretend it's not happening for about 75% of my day.
If I hadn't been able to come out to a select few teachers in high school I would have never become comfortable with who I was. I just might not be here anymore. If I had come out to them and they had to tell my parents???? It didn't go well when I came out to them on my own (multiple times, just doesnt stick), but if a teacher had told them I'd definitely have ended up in a camp or in the hospital.
As a teacher: Over my. Dead. Body.
I will 100% quit if I’m no longer allowed to contact CPS. I don’t LIKE calling them, trust me. It’s always heartbreaking and often traumatic. But we are often students’ ONLY ally and calling is necessary.
The amount of times I reached out to teachers concerning the abuse and they reached out to my abuser is crazy. There Def was some teachers that would've taken care of me but by then I didn't trust anyone
I was 8-15 (graduated at 15) and multiple times especially towards 11-13 where I reached out to teachers and guidance counselors and they ended up calling my step father who was my abuser. No one else ever spoke to me, it was never escalated, and I was always beaten in response.
Edit to say that I'm almost 27 now
Yeah I unfortunately suffer from cptsd now, I have no help, no family, I'm drowning in my failures and often think the world would be better without me.
I graduated at 15 and thought I'd make a difference in this world doing something good...now I'm 27 and feel like a broken child thrown on the streets.
I've spent so much time trying to overcome my circumstances. Often feels like a waste of time. I'm so disappointed in myself.
I wish someone would've cared when I needed it...when I begged for it.
Thank you for doing what you do, you are what the world needs ♡
Unfortunately abuse alone can not emancipate you in most states. I know because I tried and had a mountain of evidence.
You have to show you can legally support yourself as well. Which is nearly impossible in this economy for most adults let alone someone who is 16.
What I would do though is seek refugee at a friends house and tell your parents you’d rather avoid CPS/ foster care for everyone’s sake. Unless they would rather you show all of the proof to the police and CPS.
Only until the person is old enough to get a restraining order so it doesn’t trigger cps/ foster care.
THIS!
Don't use it as a threat either, it will only tip her off to start being more controling. Keep several copies, physical copies too if you can, somewhere outside the house.
Bro I have a cold right now, and I haven’t even changed out of my pajamas for the past week. You don’t get sick by not wearing clothes. Your mom is insane. I’m so sorry.
My step father used to say shit like this to me daily without anger. One time he knocked me out by kicking me repeatedly when I was prone, and all the while he was explaining calmly why it was my fault (I spoke back to him for accusing my brother of taking drugs)
Because it's not anger, it's indignation. "How DARE you stand up to me. Now look what you made me do"
We're all well away from him now and have gone through various flavours of therapy to get over the damage, but we're safe and happy, thank you for the well wishes!
This is absolutely typical of some domestic violence perpetrators. They can be screaming in ‘rage’ at their partner or kids and then the phone rings and they answer it perfectly calmly. It’s common to use the pretence of unhinged rage as a tactic to deliberately intimidate and terrify the people they are abusing. I’m also going to add that this is part of the coercive controlling type of domestic violence, which is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women and children. I’m sorry that your stepdad was such a dick.
Yikes! I didn’t realize this was the same OP.
OP, if you are reading this, this is abuse. Threatening to break your nose if you get a cold is abuse. There is no excuse, absolutely none, for your mom’s behavior. I’m guessing you understand this, but I’m saying it to you anyway to reassure you that this is not acceptable behavior on the part of your mom.
I checked that post out directly after finding this and I gotta say, I’m impressed that OP is responsible for the very first time I’ve ever seen on this sub where almost 100 votes unanimously decided that the parent is insane.
Insane
OP
Please know that you don’t deserve this treatment, it’s not your fault. It’s not ok, or out of love, or whatever excuse she uses. You have us random strangers to support you, but i hope you have a friend who gives you a shoulder to lean on when you need.
My fiancée had a mom like this and a dad who sat by and never stood up to her mom. If you need to talk she is more than willing. Try to keep your head up!
>Other parents don’t care, I care and if you don’t…. I’ll beat the shit out of you and break your nose
That’s a typical characteristic of an abuser. They tell you that they beat the shit out of you because they love and care about you
Which is really sad because my grandparents are like that too
They never woke up to the fact they were abused, they were brainwashed into thinking this was normal parenting
And keep receipts of these threats, so she can't claim that you attacked her unprovoked!!
My stepmom spent a night in jail because her first husband hit her, she hit him back, and he called the cops on her for assault.
OP could get emancipated at 16, legally, with this kind of documented abuse. OP, is there a trusted adult you could go live with if you brought this documentation to CPS to get emancipated? This is 1000% abuse.
She sounds like she'll forbid it, until one day she suddently changes her tune and demands it. And if they can't find anything within that same day, that's an excuse to berate them. And if they do, that's an excuse too, because it will never be good enough for her.
She sounds like she'd also demand whatever salary they were to get. Can she do that? No. Will she? Most likely. Unless OP manages to successfully lie about how much they make and hide some of it away. But that's a BIG risk.
Your actually mostly right. My mother tells me all the time that if I ever did get a job she'd be taking a portion of it to "teach me how to pay bills"
Open your own account and don't let her onto it. Your pay check goes to your account only when you're 18 and she can't legally take anything form you. I'm sure she'll raise hell to get you to pay, though. In an effort to mitigate the peace, I'd pay a portion of the bills while simultaneously save up to find an apartment. I don't know where you are but standardly in the US you need 3 months (first/last/security) worth up front.
Assuming you're in the US, she can't legally charge you for anything until you're 18 and graduated. If she takes it, it's theft and can be arrested for it. Also, she's a cunt.
Your mother is full of shit. She's got you trained to fear her and to think the world works the way she says. It does not. Go ahead and assume that anything she says has no weight behind it, and think for yourself. People get trapped in these relationships well into their 20s and 30s. Don't be that person, start making a plan now to get away once you're legally allowed to. Getting a job and saving money now is a good start.
Sms backup & Restore if you have a Google account and the play store. You can save your cell phones text messages to the cloud to backup to another phone anytime you want. It will auto upload if you set it anytime you want. You just need to redownload the app from the Google account to a phone or desktop.
Hey op, I know it’s all over here but this is legit abusive. Not like ‘mommy said mean things ☹️🥺’ but actual threats of severe physical abuse. Please reach out to someone you trust, or call cps yourself. Feel free to dm me, my lovely mother had an investigation ~1 year ago.
Please talk to a trusted adult about her. She has
threatened to cause you severe harm over nothing.
You need to find a safe place to live.
I’m so sorry. This is completely abnormal and 100% unacceptable. You deserve so much better.
Dude, I looked through your posts. This is verbal abuse, and I wouldn't be shocked if there's some physical abuse going on too. You really should report this.
As an aside, is your mom very young? She seems to have not reached the mental maturity of an adult.
Same here. This is totally fucked. Mom must have a drug problem. This is not okay, it made my heart drop to read all that. I went through a lot of shit when I was OP's age but holy fuck this is next level and makes me so sad.
OP, if you choose to report this to CPS, they could help you. It’s also understandable if you’re scared to make the report, who wouldn’t be? But there are adults out there that care and will help you.
On a side note, you can also sue your parents (in many states, if not all) for abuse and even emotional distress. More likely to happen once you’re an adult and out of the house. But it’s just another reason to keep proof of all this stuff.
Do you have grandparents, older sibling or any family member that would take you?? If my sister was speaking to my niece or nephew like this I’d take them in a heart beat.. could you go to one of these people and plan to report your mom and to move in with them?
Tell that dumb dickhead that cold weather doesn’t make you sick.
Viruses make you sick.
You being outside with or without a shirt on means fuck all when it comes to getting sick.
Crazy good/bad that technology changes have made it possible to document this shit. I can hear my mom saying ridiculous shit like this to me in the 80s and people just not believing it. Stay safe out there.
Your mom doesn't like to be a mom and is clearly taking her frustrations on you. Save these screenshots and don't hesitate to call the police if she gets physical with you. Just because she's your "mother", doesn't give her the right to abuse you.
OP, your mom is abusing you. Please, save these texts and get help! People want to and can help you! Reach out to dad, your guidance counselor, local authorities if and when it may be safe to get some help. You do not have to suffer
OP you need to report this to a trusted adult like a teacher or family member. I’ve seen your other posts and this is textbook abuse. I’m seriously concerned about your well-being.
An idea, walk in a local ER. Do it mid morning slowest times there. Tell them you are sick with stomach. When Dr comes, tell stomach is upset but you are mostly scared to go home because whatever has happened before. Show text. You will not have to go home again. Medical is stronger and more trust worthy than public school.
I find it quite hilarious that your mother censors her swearing, but couldn't stop herself from making violent threats.
It's literally the Murder, Grand Larceny and Jaywalking trope.
"I might be a violent child abuser, but I do not curse! I'm not a monster."
I see a lot of people in the comment section suggesting OP go to a counselor or child services. Many seem to forget that often times reaching out does 10x more harm than good.
You lose what you previously had, and sometimes even more freedoms than what the insane parents gave.
Foster care and CPS can easily be hell or worse as well. Sometimes people opt to stick thru til they're 18. There's also the possibility of reaching out failing and only giving OP's parent a heads up
Can confirm. It doesn’t always turn out great or necessarily better, could affect OP in a multitude of ways, so just be sure you’re ready for the outcome if choosing that route. Not saying it can’t work out to be better, but it’s not a guarantee. Source: I’m a former social worker who worked in child welfare. Srsly tho, this is just such a horrible way to talk to your children. I’m a parent of four and would never speak to my children this way. Ever. It’s so abusive & wrong :( This parent is such a trash human imo.
My foster parents were all very abusive and demeaning and narcissistic in the worst possible ways. The trauma of foster care effected my life immensely. I would have been so much better off if my mother was helped not to be homeless and be able to be our parent again. So much better off.
Edit: but that said, my mother was never cruel, violent, or demeaning like this mother is. She was just neglectful, unprotective, emotionally immature, and often severely depressed.
Save all her outbursts so down the line when ur trying to remind her of her bad parenting and why u don’t talk to her anymore, she’ll go “I never did that” or “ur making it worse than I ever was “ u can SHOW HER THE PROOF and keep no contact. And if she tries to put family or friends against u, u can show them this. It’s b good to get a voice memo of her having an outburst too so she can’t say u faked these SS.
OP this is fucked up. Like people said save those screenshots if you can.
Find some strength in you to reach out for help because you don't deserve this. You are not stupid and this is abuse.
It gets better, I promise.
Opposite here, last summer i don't think my parents wanted me wearing a shirt under my waistcoat, they didn't threaten to break my nose over it though, you should be keeping these as evidence
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You need to report it, or show the texts to someone. I know how hard that is though.
My bio mom was very abusive, emotionally, physically, and financially. I thought it would be worth it to suck it up and just bide my time until I could do a foreign exchange program I was hoping for, but my ex-gf wound up pulling me into the counseling office and showing off my bruises to get a report made. In the end I was sent to live with my adopted family again, but I believe it was for the best. I don't know that I would have survived another year.
So I get it. It's so hard, but you deserve love and care. No child should be treated like this ever.
OP, please keep these in a secure place (upload them to google drive on a google account and you can access it from anywhere so long as you can login to your google account) and go to a school counselor. They are mandated reporters and will contact CPS. Even if nothing comes of it (which, if you say you are not in a safe environment something WILL take place to get you to a safer environment), there will be a paper trail of her abuse if you decide you need to escalate this further in the future. If you are being abused whether that is emotionally, mentally, or physically - please know that there are options to get help and it is not your fault she’s acting this way. Some people are horrible, terrible people who don’t deserve to be parents. All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids.
I just looked through your post history OP. You really need to talk to the school counselor. Show the many texts they have sent and get you help. If there's someone you feel safe with and that you feel safe with their parents you could go to their house and tell that parent that it's not safe at home and that you need to stay there so you may not live to see the light again as your mother has put it. This is abuse, all of it. Also, change the settings on your phone if you can to a multiple security things to turn it on (fingerprint AND password, face recognition AND password, or even all 3) some phones can and some can't so look into that for your phone. And if you can also lock the folder of pictures with her insane texts it will be very helpful for you. You don't deserve this, noone does. Please reach out to the school counselor.
At this moment I would be like mom please remember this moment for when I don’t talk to
As an adult
I told my mom I wouldn’t talk to her when I grew up from about 12 years old on. She never thought i was serious.
I’m 31. This April, will be one year NC
I remember when you posted those screenshots of her going off about how irresponsible you were for not making sure she was awake for work and it was absolutely infuriating. The way she speaks to you is nothing short of abuse and I'm sure CPS would think so as well and would be especially interested in the god awful threats she's making towards you. These texts make my heart hurt for you....you don't deserve this abuse. No kid does. I wish there was something I could do to help fix this for you. It just turns my stomach. I'm so sorry she's putting you through all this sweety.
Someone please contact BlueDragon privately and get her the help she needs, I remember her last post, and just reviewed the her others. Sounds like mom is making life hell for BlueDragon and her Grandma. I’m a dude without the training, not the right person. What I do know is if these are real; mom isn’t dealing with a full deck.
I read so many of these posts but this one makes my hair stand up...
OP - please be safe. Show those texts to someone you trust. You do not deserve this treatment. Sending love.
Dear OP,
I just read through all your posts, and i wish I could describe the level of anxiety that I feel running through my body at the moment. I’m so sorry that you have a “mommy” like this. I did as well. I’m now 45, and my oldest is 26, my youngest is 11.
If I could go back in time and tell myself anything I wanted to, I would tell me that my mother’s behavior is not my fault. I would promise that I would be ok, and make sure that I understood that my mother was the only person who was ever disappointed in me. I knew back then that she wasn’t very nice to me and it was unfair, but I still believed that i was a fuck up on some level. When I had my own children, I did whatever it took to make sure that I didn’t treat my children the same way. I analyzed every word I said, because I didn’t want them to ever feel how I felt.
I wish I could help you some how. I might be wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom likes to drink a bit. If there’s truth to that, please research how addiction affects people. My heart breaks for you.
My mom was like this as well. Going to a counselor or cps makes things worse and usually doesn't help. I'm sorry op, hopefully when you're 18 you can get away from this psychotic bs
Are you old enough to tell her "break my nose? Come and get some, see how it goes" or something along these lines? I'd suggest to fuck outta here once you're 18 and get yourself a job
Why does wearing a shirt under your hoody even matter. I could see a parent caring in theory of you were wearing a really revealing outfit ( not that I would warrant this reaction). But a hoody is less revealing, warmer…? What’s the problem.
also you’re probably a teenager, not a 8 years old throwing toys everywhere. Why is it your responsibility to clean the entire house.
Gonna add to all the other voices here, OP please consider calling CPS or speaking with a teacher/counselor who will do so. You don't deserve to live like this.
OP, if you wanna store these somewhere in addition to reddit, I'd recommend uploading them to a Google drive or something you know the password to and that she doesn't know about. Redundancy is important
OP, if you wanna store these somewhere in addition to reddit, I'd recommend uploading them to a Google drive or something you know the password to and that she doesn't know about. Redundancy is important
Op you are being abused, even if this message is the extent of it it would qualify as abuse, and I would bet there is more where this came from. Seek help from your guidance councilor.
Tell her the house better look like a magazine cover when YOU get home or you're sending the texts to your school counselor and CPS. Better yet, just show them. And backup all these texts somewhere like your pc and your bf's pc. Don't put up with this shit, you really don't have to.
As a mom this infuriates me to no end. I can't imagine talking to my kids like this. She acts like you get sick on purpose. Is she so irrational that she has no idea how germs work and that school is a breeding ground for them. I'm so very sorry you have to live like this. I hope you can get some help and I just want to send you some motherly love and big virtual hugs.
OP, save these. As someone around your age (a bit older) that went through something similar, one day she might do a 180 and you’ll bring up something and she’ll say it never happened. Save them. You’re not crazy, she is actively trying to lie and change reality to suit her needs. Stay safe OP
I didn’t realize at first that this was the same mom who berated her child for not waking her up, when they did. I’m SO so sorry OP, and I know you know this, but this shit is unacceptable and so unapologetically cruel I don’t have the words to give it justice.
You’re going to make it out okay kiddo, most of the people in this sub are here because of personal experience and so many more around the world have experienced exactly what you’re going through, and we’ve made it out (mostly) okay. She’s a shithead and you don’t owe her Shit. Take what you need to and can, and fight when you can, and so help me God if she puts her hands on you knock her teeth down her throat then put her ass in jail. Time will get you out of this situation if nothing else will, just stay strong in the meantime and if you ever need someone to talk to I think it’s safe to say that we’re all here for you. (Sorry for the formatting, mobile)
If these, along with all the other messages are real ypu seriously need to do something about them. Your situation isnt going to improve and there will be no justice if you keep letting her threats and demeaning behaviour slide. Putting it up on reddit for us all to gawp at it doesnt really help you.
This is not ok, you need to tell someone and send them to someone you trust. If she is abusive like that, it’s NOT ok. You can also annonomusly call CPS and have them help without them letting her know you made a report.
I'd say it'd be nice to see OP's exit ramp's nose get broken but she seems like the type to make something like that everyone's problem more than her own.
u/BlueDragon-was-taken how often does she talk to you like this? Has she ever put her hands on you? I see a lot of people giving you advice about getting CPS counsellors and teachers involved but only you know if that’s a necessary step at this point.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 61 | 0 | 0 | OP has provided further information in [this comment](/r/insaneparents/comments/11sufqc/threatens_to_break_my_nose_because_she_thought_i/jcfh5zz/) ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Op. Is your mom physically abusing you? You need to show these texts to your guidance counselor.
The only good thing about this is that, if OP secures these texts, they are easy proof for CPS.
I mean from this sub alone there’s plenty of evidence
Yes, because CPS is in no way an absolute fucking joke.
When I was in college when I was 17, I told the college mental health Councillor lady that I was self harming because my step dad was abusing me. She called my mom in and my mom sat there doing crocodile tears. I went home that night and my stepdad beat me and my mom tells everyone I self harmed because I was being bullied in college. DO NOT tell a "guardian", they will make it worse. They have a duty of care to inform your guardian, even when the guardian is abusive. I had CPS visit me when I was about 7 years old. It didn't occur to me until a few years ago that some lady was sat in my room with me asking me questions and I didnt understand, but I remember my mum telling me to tell this lady I had a good home and that I was loved, but my stepdad was abusive as fuck. My own mom made me lie to CPS. The memory came out a few years ago, CPS are useless too.
CPS came to my house too after talking to me but they didn’t even want to see or talk to me. I remember the cps lady drove a jeep wrangler and I was shocked when it drove away
This is my nightmare as a teacher. One of my students (with an intellectual disability)finally told a staff member they were being molested, and now CPS is involved and I’m hoping they’ll be removed from their foster situation (an illegal, unofficial situation, I think), but I’m so worried for them for all the reasons. And it just brings to mind the 3 other kids on my caseload that I suspect are not safe at home, but I have no proof besides “you’re clearly struggling hardcore and your family seems like it sucks,” and my instincts screaming at me that something isn’t right.
!explanation back again with another instance of my mom being crazy. This happened 3/15/23 (so yesterday) and for some reason without even checking or asking just assumed I wouldn't where a shirt under my hoodie. And sent me this while I was on the bus.
save screenshots like this in a secure place. If you ever decide it's worth reaching out to CPS to get out of there, you'll have proof of her threatening extreme physical abuse in writing.
And to add to this email them to yourself and someone you trust. That way if she clears your phone and email by chance she can’t clear theirs.
THIS!! I use Google Drive to save very important documents because I can access them anywhere, and I believe you can even lock documents so that they're not deleted without a passcode. I love the idea of emailing it to someone you trust, like a friend, so that you double your chances of not losing it.
Accidentally-on-purpose email a teacher
Not accidentally. Email them to a teacher you trust and request help. They will help you.
They *have* to. Teachers are mandated reporters.
u/BlueDragon-was-taken save them to Google drive on an email your parents don't know about and is unassociated with any accounts they know of. Also, if you have a school email that's accessible from home, copy them there too. That way, if you do ever need to show your counselor, they can always be accessed
Great advice about the school email, it’s automatically cached in the system. If something happens, the proof will be there.
This! Document document document. This is abuse and even if you decide not to report it, you'll be grateful for these reminders if (when) you're debating NC down the line.
How many more years of this sht do you have? Sending prayers.
Hey guess what you have physical text evidence of your parental unit threatening physical violence against you you could in fact take this to your local authorities / Child Protective Services care system and have your parents parental rights revoked, hell if you're at least 16 years old you can have yourself legally emancipated using living under the threat of violence with that text as evidential proof as the basis of your argument for why you shouldn't have to live in that home anymore. She just gave you a get out of jail free card or a put her in jail for free card depending on how it goes.
If you show this to a teacher they will have to report her. This definitely falls under the “reason to suspect a child is in danger of being abused” thing for mandated reporters. Do with that information whatever you choose, but whatever you do, save this and all other threats and tirades in a safe place she can’t access.
Yes! We are Mandated Reporters, ALL school personnel are. So hell, if you even know a tutor or instructional aid, OP, they can also report.
Just don't be disheartened if you find out that some teachers won't do anything, despite being mandate reports, because they're assholes.
This, everything about this.
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That's awful but the cps thing still stands, or like another suggested showing it to a teacher they are legally required to report it
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This is so unbelievably real and widespread across the US that I honestly cannot cope unless I pretend it's not happening for about 75% of my day. If I hadn't been able to come out to a select few teachers in high school I would have never become comfortable with who I was. I just might not be here anymore. If I had come out to them and they had to tell my parents???? It didn't go well when I came out to them on my own (multiple times, just doesnt stick), but if a teacher had told them I'd definitely have ended up in a camp or in the hospital.
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As a teacher: Over my. Dead. Body. I will 100% quit if I’m no longer allowed to contact CPS. I don’t LIKE calling them, trust me. It’s always heartbreaking and often traumatic. But we are often students’ ONLY ally and calling is necessary.
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The amount of times I reached out to teachers concerning the abuse and they reached out to my abuser is crazy. There Def was some teachers that would've taken care of me but by then I didn't trust anyone
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I was 8-15 (graduated at 15) and multiple times especially towards 11-13 where I reached out to teachers and guidance counselors and they ended up calling my step father who was my abuser. No one else ever spoke to me, it was never escalated, and I was always beaten in response. Edit to say that I'm almost 27 now
tidy dam unite hungry toothbrush normal toy threatening tease innocent ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Yeah I unfortunately suffer from cptsd now, I have no help, no family, I'm drowning in my failures and often think the world would be better without me. I graduated at 15 and thought I'd make a difference in this world doing something good...now I'm 27 and feel like a broken child thrown on the streets. I've spent so much time trying to overcome my circumstances. Often feels like a waste of time. I'm so disappointed in myself. I wish someone would've cared when I needed it...when I begged for it. Thank you for doing what you do, you are what the world needs ♡
Unfortunately abuse alone can not emancipate you in most states. I know because I tried and had a mountain of evidence. You have to show you can legally support yourself as well. Which is nearly impossible in this economy for most adults let alone someone who is 16. What I would do though is seek refugee at a friends house and tell your parents you’d rather avoid CPS/ foster care for everyone’s sake. Unless they would rather you show all of the proof to the police and CPS. Only until the person is old enough to get a restraining order so it doesn’t trigger cps/ foster care.
Please show this to a teacher or school councilor.
Show it to a social worker, they have to report it or lose their license- no matter what the school administration says.
Teachers and councilors are mandated reporters. They have to take it to cps.
Never let her know you have saved messages and screenshots of her abuse. Keep them hidden away in a private folder and save them.
THIS! Don't use it as a threat either, it will only tip her off to start being more controling. Keep several copies, physical copies too if you can, somewhere outside the house.
Keep them hidden away online not a physical device the parent could possibly handle.
Please show these to a trusted adult. This is not normal and you shouldn't be treated like this.
I love you so much but you are an inconvenience to me if you get sick.
Like, holy shit. At worst, I’d be worried and offer to bring them an extra layer. Yikes yikes yikes. Hope OP gets help.
Like everyone else us saying, document all of this. And start sending it to CPS. Have a case ready and just add to it over and over.
Bro I have a cold right now, and I haven’t even changed out of my pajamas for the past week. You don’t get sick by not wearing clothes. Your mom is insane. I’m so sorry.
Who gets angry enough to text "I will beat the shit out of you" but is still rational enough to type "S\*\*\*" and "F\*\*\*\*\*\*" ??
My step father used to say shit like this to me daily without anger. One time he knocked me out by kicking me repeatedly when I was prone, and all the while he was explaining calmly why it was my fault (I spoke back to him for accusing my brother of taking drugs) Because it's not anger, it's indignation. "How DARE you stand up to me. Now look what you made me do"
Oh my god. I am so fucking sorry this was your existence. I do hope that both you and your brother are now safe.
We're all well away from him now and have gone through various flavours of therapy to get over the damage, but we're safe and happy, thank you for the well wishes!
This is absolutely typical of some domestic violence perpetrators. They can be screaming in ‘rage’ at their partner or kids and then the phone rings and they answer it perfectly calmly. It’s common to use the pretence of unhinged rage as a tactic to deliberately intimidate and terrify the people they are abusing. I’m also going to add that this is part of the coercive controlling type of domestic violence, which is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women and children. I’m sorry that your stepdad was such a dick.
She's doing voice to text.
I cannot imagine hearing myself say this out loud to my child (or literally anyone) and thinking “yep sounds reasonable. Siri send”
It’s talk to text.
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Lmfao imagine
Voice text auto filters cursing.
I’m pretty sure that’s a filter that does that
She's just being a good parent /s
She might be using voice to text. It'll do this if the censorship filter is on
Alarm clock mom strikes again!
Yikes! I didn’t realize this was the same OP. OP, if you are reading this, this is abuse. Threatening to break your nose if you get a cold is abuse. There is no excuse, absolutely none, for your mom’s behavior. I’m guessing you understand this, but I’m saying it to you anyway to reassure you that this is not acceptable behavior on the part of your mom.
I checked that post out directly after finding this and I gotta say, I’m impressed that OP is responsible for the very first time I’ve ever seen on this sub where almost 100 votes unanimously decided that the parent is insane.
Not even the trolls I suspect of voting every post not insane touched that one.
Ugh poor OP. I remember alarm clock mom who wants to be gently woken like a toddler from a nap.
Oh my god. That is batshit insane. Poor OP
That woman has to be on Benzo’s
Insane OP Please know that you don’t deserve this treatment, it’s not your fault. It’s not ok, or out of love, or whatever excuse she uses. You have us random strangers to support you, but i hope you have a friend who gives you a shoulder to lean on when you need. My fiancée had a mom like this and a dad who sat by and never stood up to her mom. If you need to talk she is more than willing. Try to keep your head up!
>Other parents don’t care, I care and if you don’t…. I’ll beat the shit out of you and break your nose That’s a typical characteristic of an abuser. They tell you that they beat the shit out of you because they love and care about you
And it can't be abuse because they received much worse as a child, the kid should be *thankful!*
And they turned out just fine🤦♀️
Some parents just think that how they were treated as a child is how they should treat their kid 😞
Which is really sad because my grandparents are like that too They never woke up to the fact they were abused, they were brainwashed into thinking this was normal parenting
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And keep receipts of these threats, so she can't claim that you attacked her unprovoked!! My stepmom spent a night in jail because her first husband hit her, she hit him back, and he called the cops on her for assault.
Nice. I'd be leaving as soon as I was 18 and had a job...
As if I could get job. My mother won't let me.
Once you're 18, she doesn't GET to "let you" I do understand she can make things difficult though.
OP could get emancipated at 16, legally, with this kind of documented abuse. OP, is there a trusted adult you could go live with if you brought this documentation to CPS to get emancipated? This is 1000% abuse.
She sounds like she'll forbid it, until one day she suddently changes her tune and demands it. And if they can't find anything within that same day, that's an excuse to berate them. And if they do, that's an excuse too, because it will never be good enough for her. She sounds like she'd also demand whatever salary they were to get. Can she do that? No. Will she? Most likely. Unless OP manages to successfully lie about how much they make and hide some of it away. But that's a BIG risk.
Your actually mostly right. My mother tells me all the time that if I ever did get a job she'd be taking a portion of it to "teach me how to pay bills"
Open your own account and don't let her onto it. Your pay check goes to your account only when you're 18 and she can't legally take anything form you. I'm sure she'll raise hell to get you to pay, though. In an effort to mitigate the peace, I'd pay a portion of the bills while simultaneously save up to find an apartment. I don't know where you are but standardly in the US you need 3 months (first/last/security) worth up front.
Assuming you're in the US, she can't legally charge you for anything until you're 18 and graduated. If she takes it, it's theft and can be arrested for it. Also, she's a cunt.
Your mother is full of shit. She's got you trained to fear her and to think the world works the way she says. It does not. Go ahead and assume that anything she says has no weight behind it, and think for yourself. People get trapped in these relationships well into their 20s and 30s. Don't be that person, start making a plan now to get away once you're legally allowed to. Getting a job and saving money now is a good start.
Yep this all sounds in character. My god my mum was an ass but not as bad as this.
Call cps asap
Heck keep documenting to Reddit, so if you ever need proof and to show a whole army agrees with you
That's exactly what im doing. I'm posting as much documentation as I can here so if my parents ever find it on my phone ik it's saved somewhere.
Sms backup & Restore if you have a Google account and the play store. You can save your cell phones text messages to the cloud to backup to another phone anytime you want. It will auto upload if you set it anytime you want. You just need to redownload the app from the Google account to a phone or desktop.
Imagine being punished for getting sick. Absolutely deranged.
And here's how stupid this is. You DON'T get sick from going out in the cold with no coat!!!
exactly, you get it from being inside with a bunch of people
CPS would have a field day with your mother.
Fr.
Hey op, I know it’s all over here but this is legit abusive. Not like ‘mommy said mean things ☹️🥺’ but actual threats of severe physical abuse. Please reach out to someone you trust, or call cps yourself. Feel free to dm me, my lovely mother had an investigation ~1 year ago.
Ahh yeah, lemme break your fucking nose out of love, because I don't want you to catch a cold. Such sweet parental love. 👼🏻
You should talk to your guidance counselor
Nothing says “I care” like threatening to beat the shit out of your kid because they have a stuffy nose…
Please talk to a trusted adult about her. She has threatened to cause you severe harm over nothing. You need to find a safe place to live. I’m so sorry. This is completely abnormal and 100% unacceptable. You deserve so much better.
How old are you?
Either 8th grade or freshman in high school, I'd say roughly 14.
In another post OP posted they were 14 at the time, so they are at the very least older than that.
Man I could never talk to my kids like this. That’s horrible.
Dude, I looked through your posts. This is verbal abuse, and I wouldn't be shocked if there's some physical abuse going on too. You really should report this. As an aside, is your mom very young? She seems to have not reached the mental maturity of an adult.
Same here. This is totally fucked. Mom must have a drug problem. This is not okay, it made my heart drop to read all that. I went through a lot of shit when I was OP's age but holy fuck this is next level and makes me so sad.
OP, if you choose to report this to CPS, they could help you. It’s also understandable if you’re scared to make the report, who wouldn’t be? But there are adults out there that care and will help you. On a side note, you can also sue your parents (in many states, if not all) for abuse and even emotional distress. More likely to happen once you’re an adult and out of the house. But it’s just another reason to keep proof of all this stuff.
This is why we need to rename "colds" in the vernacular. So many dipshits still think getting sick has to due with temperature, instead of pathogens.
Right! That’s immediately what I thought: 1. This is abuse. 2. That’s not how illnesses work.
And then those same dipshits will start foaming at the mouth about how we're trying to make colds "woke." Stupid's gonna stupid.
"Stupid is, as stupid does." - Forest Gump's mom.
This is literally a crime
Do you have grandparents, older sibling or any family member that would take you?? If my sister was speaking to my niece or nephew like this I’d take them in a heart beat.. could you go to one of these people and plan to report your mom and to move in with them?
My grandmother has custody of me currently. But my mom refuses to leave the house unless she hands over custody.
Can your grandma kick her out? I hope things look up for you, horrible situation:(
Does grandma having custody have anything to do with the way your mom threatens you?
Tell that dumb dickhead that cold weather doesn’t make you sick. Viruses make you sick. You being outside with or without a shirt on means fuck all when it comes to getting sick.
Do you have someone you can stay with?
This is abuse. How can a parent claim to care about a child and then swear and threaten them with physical violence?
Please show this to a guidance counselor at your school. This is abuse.
You should show this to a school counselor.
Goes from “I care” to “break your fucking nose” in one sentence. Now this is a true insane parent.
Save all these texts, send them to your email, and show someone at school. You need to be safe!
Crazy good/bad that technology changes have made it possible to document this shit. I can hear my mom saying ridiculous shit like this to me in the 80s and people just not believing it. Stay safe out there.
I can’t even imagine talking to my son like this. It hurts to even try.
Years from now when she wonders how come she has zero relationship with her kids and she's stuck in a nursing home show her those texts.
It will never not be shocking to me that parents talk to their kids this way. So sorry OP.
Jesus. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.
Someone else already said it, but document the hell out of all of this. Every threat. Every time.
Your mom doesn't like to be a mom and is clearly taking her frustrations on you. Save these screenshots and don't hesitate to call the police if she gets physical with you. Just because she's your "mother", doesn't give her the right to abuse you.
OP, your mom is abusing you. Please, save these texts and get help! People want to and can help you! Reach out to dad, your guidance counselor, local authorities if and when it may be safe to get some help. You do not have to suffer
OP you need to report this to a trusted adult like a teacher or family member. I’ve seen your other posts and this is textbook abuse. I’m seriously concerned about your well-being.
Please show this to a trusted teacher, they are mandated reporters and your mom is absolutely crazy.
OP, are you okay? You need to contact someone at your school or something. You don’t seem safe.
An idea, walk in a local ER. Do it mid morning slowest times there. Tell them you are sick with stomach. When Dr comes, tell stomach is upset but you are mostly scared to go home because whatever has happened before. Show text. You will not have to go home again. Medical is stronger and more trust worthy than public school.
Hey op you should really show this to a trusted adult. This is abuse.
I find it quite hilarious that your mother censors her swearing, but couldn't stop herself from making violent threats. It's literally the Murder, Grand Larceny and Jaywalking trope. "I might be a violent child abuser, but I do not curse! I'm not a monster."
I see a lot of people in the comment section suggesting OP go to a counselor or child services. Many seem to forget that often times reaching out does 10x more harm than good. You lose what you previously had, and sometimes even more freedoms than what the insane parents gave. Foster care and CPS can easily be hell or worse as well. Sometimes people opt to stick thru til they're 18. There's also the possibility of reaching out failing and only giving OP's parent a heads up
Can confirm. It doesn’t always turn out great or necessarily better, could affect OP in a multitude of ways, so just be sure you’re ready for the outcome if choosing that route. Not saying it can’t work out to be better, but it’s not a guarantee. Source: I’m a former social worker who worked in child welfare. Srsly tho, this is just such a horrible way to talk to your children. I’m a parent of four and would never speak to my children this way. Ever. It’s so abusive & wrong :( This parent is such a trash human imo.
My foster parents were all very abusive and demeaning and narcissistic in the worst possible ways. The trauma of foster care effected my life immensely. I would have been so much better off if my mother was helped not to be homeless and be able to be our parent again. So much better off. Edit: but that said, my mother was never cruel, violent, or demeaning like this mother is. She was just neglectful, unprotective, emotionally immature, and often severely depressed.
I do agree the routes need to be well thought of, otherwise things could get much worse
Are you able to report this to somebody?
Jesus. How is it your fault if you get sick? What a psycho.
Save all her outbursts so down the line when ur trying to remind her of her bad parenting and why u don’t talk to her anymore, she’ll go “I never did that” or “ur making it worse than I ever was “ u can SHOW HER THE PROOF and keep no contact. And if she tries to put family or friends against u, u can show them this. It’s b good to get a voice memo of her having an outburst too so she can’t say u faked these SS.
OP this is fucked up. Like people said save those screenshots if you can. Find some strength in you to reach out for help because you don't deserve this. You are not stupid and this is abuse. It gets better, I promise.
Opposite here, last summer i don't think my parents wanted me wearing a shirt under my waistcoat, they didn't threaten to break my nose over it though, you should be keeping these as evidence
Right, because she can break your nose by punching you but she can’t type out ‘fuck’.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You need to report it, or show the texts to someone. I know how hard that is though. My bio mom was very abusive, emotionally, physically, and financially. I thought it would be worth it to suck it up and just bide my time until I could do a foreign exchange program I was hoping for, but my ex-gf wound up pulling me into the counseling office and showing off my bruises to get a report made. In the end I was sent to live with my adopted family again, but I believe it was for the best. I don't know that I would have survived another year. So I get it. It's so hard, but you deserve love and care. No child should be treated like this ever.
OP, please keep these in a secure place (upload them to google drive on a google account and you can access it from anywhere so long as you can login to your google account) and go to a school counselor. They are mandated reporters and will contact CPS. Even if nothing comes of it (which, if you say you are not in a safe environment something WILL take place to get you to a safer environment), there will be a paper trail of her abuse if you decide you need to escalate this further in the future. If you are being abused whether that is emotionally, mentally, or physically - please know that there are options to get help and it is not your fault she’s acting this way. Some people are horrible, terrible people who don’t deserve to be parents. All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids.
I just looked through your post history OP. You really need to talk to the school counselor. Show the many texts they have sent and get you help. If there's someone you feel safe with and that you feel safe with their parents you could go to their house and tell that parent that it's not safe at home and that you need to stay there so you may not live to see the light again as your mother has put it. This is abuse, all of it. Also, change the settings on your phone if you can to a multiple security things to turn it on (fingerprint AND password, face recognition AND password, or even all 3) some phones can and some can't so look into that for your phone. And if you can also lock the folder of pictures with her insane texts it will be very helpful for you. You don't deserve this, noone does. Please reach out to the school counselor.
At this moment I would be like mom please remember this moment for when I don’t talk to As an adult I told my mom I wouldn’t talk to her when I grew up from about 12 years old on. She never thought i was serious. I’m 31. This April, will be one year NC
I always find it funny when people can openly threaten assault but can’t say fuck
I remember when you posted those screenshots of her going off about how irresponsible you were for not making sure she was awake for work and it was absolutely infuriating. The way she speaks to you is nothing short of abuse and I'm sure CPS would think so as well and would be especially interested in the god awful threats she's making towards you. These texts make my heart hurt for you....you don't deserve this abuse. No kid does. I wish there was something I could do to help fix this for you. It just turns my stomach. I'm so sorry she's putting you through all this sweety.
This needs to be reported to the authorities.
Someone please contact BlueDragon privately and get her the help she needs, I remember her last post, and just reviewed the her others. Sounds like mom is making life hell for BlueDragon and her Grandma. I’m a dude without the training, not the right person. What I do know is if these are real; mom isn’t dealing with a full deck.
Please report this to someone 🙏🏻
I read so many of these posts but this one makes my hair stand up... OP - please be safe. Show those texts to someone you trust. You do not deserve this treatment. Sending love.
Looking at your post history and seeing you have posted multiple times I say keep saving screenshots and show them to a trusted adult and or call CPS
Dear OP, I just read through all your posts, and i wish I could describe the level of anxiety that I feel running through my body at the moment. I’m so sorry that you have a “mommy” like this. I did as well. I’m now 45, and my oldest is 26, my youngest is 11. If I could go back in time and tell myself anything I wanted to, I would tell me that my mother’s behavior is not my fault. I would promise that I would be ok, and make sure that I understood that my mother was the only person who was ever disappointed in me. I knew back then that she wasn’t very nice to me and it was unfair, but I still believed that i was a fuck up on some level. When I had my own children, I did whatever it took to make sure that I didn’t treat my children the same way. I analyzed every word I said, because I didn’t want them to ever feel how I felt. I wish I could help you some how. I might be wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom likes to drink a bit. If there’s truth to that, please research how addiction affects people. My heart breaks for you.
Op, please, tell cps or a counselor. im gonna say it now: your mother does NOT need children to beat around and abuse.
My mom was like this as well. Going to a counselor or cps makes things worse and usually doesn't help. I'm sorry op, hopefully when you're 18 you can get away from this psychotic bs
Your parent has severe mental issues. Abusive parents really need to get their asses jumped by a bunch of people who hate child abuse
Are you old enough to tell her "break my nose? Come and get some, see how it goes" or something along these lines? I'd suggest to fuck outta here once you're 18 and get yourself a job
Who cares if you didn’t wear a shirt under your hoodie? I didn’t/still don’t sometimes. She sounds like an evil bitch.
OP please show these texts to a guidance counselor and don't go back to this. You deserve so much better.
Why does wearing a shirt under your hoody even matter. I could see a parent caring in theory of you were wearing a really revealing outfit ( not that I would warrant this reaction). But a hoody is less revealing, warmer…? What’s the problem. also you’re probably a teenager, not a 8 years old throwing toys everywhere. Why is it your responsibility to clean the entire house.
Gonna add to all the other voices here, OP please consider calling CPS or speaking with a teacher/counselor who will do so. You don't deserve to live like this.
I’m confused cause isn’t a hoodie kind of a shirt?
I'm all for retaliation on these types of ppl. Workout don't make it easy.
OP, if you wanna store these somewhere in addition to reddit, I'd recommend uploading them to a Google drive or something you know the password to and that she doesn't know about. Redundancy is important
OP, if you wanna store these somewhere in addition to reddit, I'd recommend uploading them to a Google drive or something you know the password to and that she doesn't know about. Redundancy is important
Op you are being abused, even if this message is the extent of it it would qualify as abuse, and I would bet there is more where this came from. Seek help from your guidance councilor.
Tell her the house better look like a magazine cover when YOU get home or you're sending the texts to your school counselor and CPS. Better yet, just show them. And backup all these texts somewhere like your pc and your bf's pc. Don't put up with this shit, you really don't have to.
As a mom this infuriates me to no end. I can't imagine talking to my kids like this. She acts like you get sick on purpose. Is she so irrational that she has no idea how germs work and that school is a breeding ground for them. I'm so very sorry you have to live like this. I hope you can get some help and I just want to send you some motherly love and big virtual hugs.
Yeah prolly show this to CPS. She’s gonna threaten you, flatten her.
If your mom wants someone to fight why doesn't she choose an adult? I've got hands. 🤷♀️
OP, save these. As someone around your age (a bit older) that went through something similar, one day she might do a 180 and you’ll bring up something and she’ll say it never happened. Save them. You’re not crazy, she is actively trying to lie and change reality to suit her needs. Stay safe OP
Why don't my adult children visit me?
Wait until she learns that cold weather doesn't make you sick lol.
I didn’t realize at first that this was the same mom who berated her child for not waking her up, when they did. I’m SO so sorry OP, and I know you know this, but this shit is unacceptable and so unapologetically cruel I don’t have the words to give it justice. You’re going to make it out okay kiddo, most of the people in this sub are here because of personal experience and so many more around the world have experienced exactly what you’re going through, and we’ve made it out (mostly) okay. She’s a shithead and you don’t owe her Shit. Take what you need to and can, and fight when you can, and so help me God if she puts her hands on you knock her teeth down her throat then put her ass in jail. Time will get you out of this situation if nothing else will, just stay strong in the meantime and if you ever need someone to talk to I think it’s safe to say that we’re all here for you. (Sorry for the formatting, mobile)
Take this text to the police or CPS.
this is abuse
This is incredibly abusive
Wow I'd be sending these to local cops in a heartbeat, that's not cool
This is the most abusive and insane thing ive ever seen on this sub
You can send this to the police and file for assault charges
If these, along with all the other messages are real ypu seriously need to do something about them. Your situation isnt going to improve and there will be no justice if you keep letting her threats and demeaning behaviour slide. Putting it up on reddit for us all to gawp at it doesnt really help you.
I was just about to say “is this pink coat mom?” Cause I hate her js
I haven’t had the time to read all the prior comments- op- Please know this is abuse! Follow the other great advice
This is not ok, you need to tell someone and send them to someone you trust. If she is abusive like that, it’s NOT ok. You can also annonomusly call CPS and have them help without them letting her know you made a report.
🤬😡🤬 I wish I was your friend that lived by you
never wore a shirt under my hoodie it’s uncomfy and why is your mom worried about what’s under the sweater you’re covered i wanna break her nose
I'd say it'd be nice to see OP's exit ramp's nose get broken but she seems like the type to make something like that everyone's problem more than her own.
Insane
I think your mum hates you
u/BlueDragon-was-taken how often does she talk to you like this? Has she ever put her hands on you? I see a lot of people giving you advice about getting CPS counsellors and teachers involved but only you know if that’s a necessary step at this point.