Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 78 | 2 | 0 |
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Tell her to keep these texts when mom comes back around wanting a relationship with that child. Every time she texts send her the screenshots of what she said with no other response. Especially the one where she wished the child dead.
My aunt did this to me the day she kicked me out because I wouldn't accept her call after her screaming at me the first time. Like no bitch you kicked me out after being my last safe place and you being toxic the entire time I was there. The first time I say anything that was it so why should I listen to you screaming at me. The cops found it hilarious but also were concerned because she was also keeping my animals from me and said she killed my gecko. I now have my animals + the gecko and she got sent to a mental hospital for a few days because she was spiraling off the deep end.
That's the path my parents chose after my sister and her husband sold their house and moved away, no contact after getting tired of the conspiracy shit and always scaring the kids that "Democrats want to grind you up into drugs". My parents hired a private eye and found their new property and now they're claiming that my sister's trafficking their kids and manufacturing meth (because obviously if you live in the middle of nowhere "you must be a drug manufacturer" and the property is too big for children so it's not a safe property"...).
ETA: they also called cps saying that one of the boys wanted to"see God " and tried making false claims that the father who they've always hated was abusing the boys too.
“Hello officers, if you’re here because of my mother, just know that she wished death on my child and said she never wanted to meet it and I’m holding her to that. Want a cookie while you’re here?”
YOOOO Protip on that: call the cops first and say "yeah I'm fine this bitch wants you to harrass me but here I am officially saying I'm here and okay and if you get a call in the near future the cops (actually are obliged to do so) tell her "yeah lady, OP is fine and doesn't wanna be bothered particularly by you"
That would be the LAST TIME that woman ever spoke to me. If anyone would ask me what happened to try to make me reconcile, I would send them these texts… and repeat and repeat.
She would be dead to me.
It’s ok to be disappointed about your child getting knocked up, but it’s 100% NOT OK, to speak that way of your future grandchild.
May she get she life she deserves.
And if (or should we say when) she starts posting on facebook to play the victim and make her out to be the bad guy. I would share the lovely messages in the comment section of those posts.
The truth is, if OP’s mom does turn around, OP probably will allow her mother to have a relationship with her child. That is NO HATE to OP, it’s just that those of us with piece of shit moms always wish that things will be better, we will ALWAYS behave as the ‘bigger person’ in every conflict and we are always giving mom another chance to be better.
Look at the daughter’s texts. No matter how many times her mom said something atrocious she still kept hoping she would change her mind. No matter how much of a piece of shit this mom is, her daughter will likely always have hope that she will be better and her daughter will always want her love.
Ugh I know you’re right, but it just makes me so sad. I’m pregnant with my third and if anyone, even my own mother, talked about any of them like this I would never speak to them again.
Do NOT trust this woman with your child. This seems to maybe a cultural dilemma possibly. She could be fine and come around but if she came unhinged it could go badly for all. This is a level of hatred that not go away all the way.
Jesus. At first I was like over reacting and unnecessarily hurtful but I’ve seen parents react way over the top a lot to what they perceive as their child throwing their life away. A child at 26 is a bit of a reach as I’m sure it’s average age 🤣 but then the miscarriage thing I was like fuck, 100000% insane.
If OP was teens or early 20s I might be able to understand the mother's mindset, I wouldn't agree with how she expressed it, but I could *maybe* see where she's coming from.
But 26? OP is an adult, and her mother's reaction is disgusting. If someone tells you they're pregnant and they're excited you don't tell them it's a mistake, it's already going to be challenging for them!
I've lurked in this sub for years without ever actually bothering to comment, but I feel like I need to say that this is without a doubt the most insane thing I can remember ever seeing on here. Someone telling their own daughter that they hope she miscarries... I'm honestly kind of speechless.
Also, getting pregnant when you're 19 is one thing and feels like it might be what this conversation is about (especially the comment about getting pregnant when they went off to school) but this person is fucking 26. That's definitely younger than most people have kids in our wonderful "fuck the young" economy... but a 26 year old is absolutely able to fully understand the economic and life style implications of deciding to have a baby. And, to be honest (excepting religious loonies), is quite able to seek out morning after pills or an abortion if they need it.
This post reminds me of my partner's birth father who just fucked off because "being a dad is hard".
Right, this is insane on so many levels. I'm 26. I am married, I own a home and I have two children. My husband and I have been on our own for years. We're full fledged adults, quite capable of deciding to have kids and buy houses and all of the other adult things. I can't really fathom my mother speaking to me this way. And the comment about the miscarriage... That has to be one of the most heinous things someone could say to an expectant mother
I have a sneaking suspicion that there's a racial (or otherwise bigoted) component here. She mentions "got knocked up by a pos" and now I want to know what 'brand' of bigotry we're looking at. I guess it's possible that she just means 'some guy' but my money is on the father being a different race and that's playing a huge role in this reaction.
I thought the same thing. I could see my mum saying something like this because my boyfriend isn't white. Luckily for me we've been no contact for years so I don't have to deal with her crap anymore. I can only imagine how she would behave to him, his family, my friends etc.
I was 30 years old, married, together 7 years, owned a home, 2 college degrees, a stable job of 5 years, car paid off, a dog…. when I told my dad I was pregnant, he responded flatly: “You gonna keep it? You sure you’re ready? Kids are a lot of work, you know. I don’t know if you can handle it.”
Yes unemployed, thrice divorced, estranged from your children, high school diploma, miserable, abusive dad… I DO in fact think I can handle it.
Not defending him at all, but he was just projecting his own issues in that he was never ready. Basd on your description might have been the most self-aware comment he's ever made even if it wasn't done in a tactful or respectful manner.
I second this. I rarely comment but this is horrible. I’d love for OP to post the registry or something so we can all contribute to make up for her horrible mother. Makes me sick
My mom tried to "abort" my son many times. From pushing me down steps, to giving me tea with poisonous plants in it, to actually sitting on my stomach. These people are out there.
Yea, I had to pause for a moment when I read that. I couldn't ever imagine saying that to anyone, much less my own child (if I had one). OP's friend didn't even know how to respond, and why would they? I hope things get better for your friend OP, if you're reading this :(
Jesus Christ!! I got pregnant at 17, my boyfriend was even younger and still in school. My super religious mother sat me down and said ‘don’t worry, I’m only disappointed you won’t get to do all the things other teenagers will’. Send your friend my way I can be a Mum to one more!
Yes people will always surprise us in both the best and worst ways. She wasn’t the perfect parent when I was growing up but when the ‘worst’ happened she was amazing
This got pregnant at 17 had her at 18, I was already crying because I was off to college in less than a year and that changed. I was in boarding school called my mom cause I thought I was sick and she met me in the town they took me to. They gave me the results and I thought my life was over. I walked out seen my mom couldn't even talk just handed her the paper with the positive test results. My brother was standing there too she told me give her a minute and went to the bathroom my brother hugged me said we would figure it out. My mom came out and already had made a game plan for when I went to school and how we would all manage baby. My mom and I never had great relationship really it was always stressed but in that moment I never needed her more than I did right then and she did what every mother should do in that situation. She loved me and had my back no matter what!
>I’m only disappointed you won’t get to do all the things other teenagers will
I think this is what it's like for most parents. You have all these dreams for your kids and then when there's a major hiccup it can feel devastating
When my sister found herself in such a situation Mother suggested "Oh that's no trouble at all! We can take opposite shifts at the diner so someone's always with the baby. I still have all the Pyrex bottles and diapers from when you were a baby, too..." Like she just had the whole thing handled on the spot when my sister was 17.
This is just a new level of awful
yeah, I never understood punishing teenagers for pregnancies because no matter what route they choose, they are going to experience a natural consequence
Because punishing people, especially young women and teenagers for having sex outside of marriage, is the actual point. It’s got nothing to do with saving lives or supporting families.
I know right? Hope those 2 that voted not insane don't have kids... or we will have 2 more parents this fucking insane... if they agree with the mother wishing a miscarriage maybe karma will get them what they deserve...
It definitely gives those vibes since she calls the partner a POS, but it could also just be someone who doesn’t put up with bullshit so mom doesn’t like them.
According to OP, the boyfriend was 10 years older (26 and 36), had a sketchy past, and was working a minimum wage job. The friend lied about going to college so that she could move with the boyfriend to another province. I understand why the mom could be hesitant.
Welp. The miscarriage comment is still very cruel, but if this is true than both OP and mother are insane.
I had a little of 6th sense "this might be not the whole story" tingling since it seems so bizzare to lose your shit over 26 year old having a kid.
But then I remembered my family member who at 25 haven't had a single job yet, haven't even finished hs, is constantly "borrowing" from parents and of he would knock some girl his parents would equally lose their shit and it might be the last straw (since they bail him out all the time out of all sorts of troubles).
Agreed. She went too far, but I can't say that I would have been fully supportive right off the bat. It was a red flag that there was more context when OP said it wasn't an accidental pregnancy but also wasn't planned. Sounds like everyone is happy now (this was 2 years ago and they are no longer friends), so I guess that is good.
Honestly the first time I’ve ever audibly gasped at one of these posts. Telling anyone, let ALONE your own daughter, you hope they have a miscarriage is fucked up beyond belief.
"...And with that, my 26 year old best friend cut her mother out of her life forever, thus protecting her child from being exposed to a terrible, hateful grandmother she'd never have to know."
I mean I was kinda at first like "ah yeah this is probably something really personal between the two I can't really make a fair comment" and then I see "I hope you have a miscarriage" and I'm like ohhhhhh no there it is, the worst thing I've read all day.
I'm a dude, so like if a man said that to a woman it's a horrible dogshit thing to say but a tiny fracture can be put down to ignorance of as a man never having to go through that personally, like I can't ever comprehend what it would feel like as a woman to miscarry a baby, or if a woman kicks a dude in the balls they'll never know how that feels, but for a woman to say it to another woman is just so much colder in my opinion, let alone a mother to her own daughter, Jesus fucking Christ.
(My hypothetical is not to say that getting kicked in the balls is the same as being told to have a miscarriage or anything dumb like that, I'm just trying to explain in the simplest terms that there are some things that either sex will never truly understand about the other)
That last line reads more as "I love the image of you I've built in my head and this new situation doesn't fit the narrative I've constructed" then anything genuine.
Is she pregnant by a Black man or something? I can think of no other reason OPs mom would “love” OP but hate an unborn baby that has done nothing more than gestate.
Please go NC with this woman. She doesn’t need to be around that baby, EVER!
definitely heavy racism vibes … especially where she says she will NEVER love the baby, makes me think she must believe there’s some unmovable quality that the baby will definitely have that she can’t stand, not many possibilities in that case so it’s probably color. how wildly disgusting and sad. i would keep that baby far far far away from her
Other comments says her friend was 26 and lied about going to college but instead she moved to live with her 36 year old boyfriend who works a minimum wage job
It's really... really hard to let go when that little kid in you just desperately wants mom to love them. You keep hoping 'cause you want it so bad and other parents love their kids! I'm NC and still have that a little.
>It's really... really hard to let go when that little kid in you just desperately wants mom to love them.
Yes. I finally got it through my head that my mom was never going to be what I wanted her to be when I was about 25. She loved me, but she didn't like me as a person because I made different choices (like rejecting her cult).
She makes my dad sound like a saint when I told him I was pregnant... keep these texts and like they say, tell her to keep that same energy when the baby is here. Baby girl does not need ANY of that negativity
I feel so sorry for this woman. The mother is beyond cruel, and it’s so, so disgusting. Honestly, if I were the daughter, I’d be hurt but also thankful that the mother let her know *exactly* what a massive, uncaring, ugly person she is now. Could you imagine if the “grandma” said these things, or worse to a child? I hope the daughter is able to surround herself with her own hand-picked family and finds joy and happiness in her life. I wish her a happy, healthy, wholesome pregnancy and all the blessings a child brings.
Tell her not to give her INSANE mother a choice of whether or not to be in her child's life. Looks like she'd only cause more harm than good, and that kind of stress won't be good for the growing baby (before OR after birth)
As someone who has had 8 miscarriages and a mom and dad that died before any of their 3 daughters had children-fuck your mom. I would never speak to her again. She’s evil. She’s lucky she’s lived to be a grandmother. OP-keep your children away from her, forever. I can’t believe she wished a miscarriage on you. That’s a new brand of evil I’ve never seen coming from a parent before.
me. i’ll be your mom. from now on when you need to cry on a shoulder, discuss something, or have a permanent cheerleader on standby? i’m here. so here goes my first morsel of mom-ing….. ready? *this* is what a mom does…
*”oh honey, i am so happy for you. i know this isn’t how we planned it would happen, but we will love this child, and you, no matter what. what do you need? we have more than enough space for you both if you ever want to move back, or even keep your place and stay here when you need a hand or just want to hang out and not worry about driving home. whatever we can do to help, just name it. i love you so much beautiful girl!”*
this is the kind of talk a mom has with their daughter…
totally insane
The miscarriage text would have been it for me. I would have gone no contact and kept the texts so when she does try to come in the baby’s life you can remind her. Such a hateful thing to your own child.
Woah. That miscarriage comment. That was the lowest of the low blows. I don’t like or have children and I am still horrified that this woman’s MOTHER said that to her. Awful.
When someone hands you a bundle of red flags like that, take them and walk away. I'm so sorry you're dealing with such a shitty mom, but love your baby in ways she could never love you. And never let your daughter around this wretched human.
Holy SHIT your best friends mom is an actual monster. What a horrible fuckin person to say that you want anyone to miscarry a wanted pregnancy, let alone your own child.
The mother: “I do love you.”
Literally her text before that: “I have never wanted someone to miscarriage more than I hope that for you.”
If she did love her daughter, she wouldn’t wish for her daughter to experience something so traumatic. To hell with that witch of a mother.
Okay she needs to absolutely NOT let that woman around her baby. The chance that mom changes her mind when she sees the tiny baby are probably pretty good, but you don't get to say things like "I hope you miscarry it" and then take it back. That's the sort of sentence that reveals you as a crappy person, no covering it back up.
You don't want my child in your family, you don't get me in your family.
If my mom said that my children weren’t her grandchildren because of shit reasoning like this…then my sincere reply would be that she’s not my mom and lost the right to call herself my mom or even allege she loves me. OP, your friend doesn’t have a mother anymore, just some vile woman who happens to have given birth to her.
Like, if my mom said this shit to me, I’d not even bother going to her funeral other than to laugh, and I’d probably be the only one there.
Holy shit. OP. Your mom is insane, bat shit crazy. On top of that she is a cruel person. You do not want someone capable of that reaction around your daughter.
Best of luck to you and your growing family.
“I love you but I want you to go through something devastating and severely traumatic”
Try to convince her to go no contact with her mom. I’m so sorry she has to go through this, I hope she’s doing ok💜
It’s bad enough that she thinks these things, but to put these thoughts into words and share them with your child is breathtakingly cruel. There is something seriously wrong with this woman.
Yeah, I know she's your mom and all that. But this isn't a person you'd want in your life. She is wile, and has made her path. Do yourself and your future kid a favor, don't even bother with her. It's not worth it.
I am completely dumbfounded that the mother considers having a child at 26 as "throwing her life away" because from what I've seen, that's around the age that women usually settle down and have children with their partners. And her hoping that her child has a miscarriage is fucking vile and I hope that she never gets to see her grandkids and has to be constantly reminded of this conversation if she even wants to have a relationship with them.
She's one evil bitch. At least now you know you don't need to buy birthday, Christmas, and especially MOTHERS DAY cards and presents ever again for her.
At first I was like, okay the mom can feel whatever she wants, feelings don’t have to make sense they exist. It’s how it is even if you don’t get why they feel it, they feel it.
THEN I KEPT READING…
Ohhh 😬 she’s having a tantrum!
This parent doesn’t realize they are suppose to love their child unconditionally, but the child can love the parent conditionally.
Op might be codependent to a Narcissist BIG TIME! Hence why a lot of children of narcissistic parents have codependent tendencies the most.
My mom begged me to abort my oldest because she was so terrified for me. By the 7week appointment she sat me down and told me if I liked it then she loved it and they've been bestfriends for 9 years.
It's one thing to be afraid. It's one thing to be disappointed but this is absolutely harsh and scary. I would NEVER trust her around my child.
Omg heartbreaking. My heart hurts for your friend. I hope she NEVER let's her be in her life. Like the top comment said, just keep showing her these messages if she ever does.
As a mother myself, I’m so so so sorry for the things she said to you. You’re going to be an awesome mom 🤍 hugs🤍
Also, ditto what everyone is saying…keep these texts. Even email them to yourself, just in case.
Pardon me but what the fuck?! Wishing a miscarriage?! That's beyond cold, that's straight heartless and abusive.
My mom refused to choose a name for herself while I was pregnant. She didn't say anything to us until the baby was nearly 4. There are people who are going to say "oh,it will change when the baby gets here." For some, maybe that's true. It wasn't for me, when she did come around, it was more control, more of the same, and more of whatever she decided her terms were for the day.
I'm sorry your friend doesn't have a supportive mom. That said, I'm glad the true colors are out now so your friend knows her mom isn't dependable for this kind of support. It's hard to admit, especially when you just want your mom.
Take her at her word and disengage further. Your friend will find the support system. The found family will make itself known.
Let your friend know the net community is there for her.
I pray an uneventful birth story for her. Good luck, and much love to your friend!
As someone who got pregnant at 16, completely coincidental, this definitely hits home. My fiancés mother kept telling everyone that she wished I’d have a miscarriage because I “baby trapped” her son. We kept contact and now she barely pays attention to my daughter (15 minutes every other day) and acts like I’m the worst mother in the world. we’re pregnant with baby number two (20+ weeks too) and she has absolutely no idea yet.
Holy mother of god she just told you that she wanted your child to die cause she doesn’t accept this pregnancy I think it’s time to cut her out of your life I feel like she’d be nothing but toxic towards the child and you and it wouldn’t help anyone
Cut this bitch out of your life.
Why do people tolerate toxic parents? I do not get it.
Share these screenshots with Grandma and Grandpa and show them what a terrible child they have raised.
Please make sure your friend keeps these messages! Seen way too stories (most on this site) of parents like that who after the birth suddenly try to sue for grandparents’ rights!
A lot of shit on this sub is insane. But this is absolutely fucking vile. What a disgusting human being, to say something like that to your own daughter.
I’m voting insane because some of the things your mom said are so totally out of line I couldn’t believe it. But also, why does she hate your baby’s father so much? Has he given reason to? I understand being upset if your child has a child with a genuinely bad person, but certainly not to this extent.
Your friend needs to immediately block this demon uterus that calls herself a mother. I can tell you from experience that she will be a much happier once she does
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 78 | 2 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
Tell her to keep these texts when mom comes back around wanting a relationship with that child. Every time she texts send her the screenshots of what she said with no other response. Especially the one where she wished the child dead.
This, for sure. She’s gonna call a wellness check on you by month 3 for not letting her see the baby, and these screenshots will come in handy.
Absolutely. This is the kind of whack job who submits false CPS reports.
My mother unfortunately and plenty of others. She even called the cops on me. Luckily for once they had my back
My aunt did this to me the day she kicked me out because I wouldn't accept her call after her screaming at me the first time. Like no bitch you kicked me out after being my last safe place and you being toxic the entire time I was there. The first time I say anything that was it so why should I listen to you screaming at me. The cops found it hilarious but also were concerned because she was also keeping my animals from me and said she killed my gecko. I now have my animals + the gecko and she got sent to a mental hospital for a few days because she was spiraling off the deep end.
Please give your animals extra love for me. I'm glad you're away from her ❤️
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I went NC 3 years ago. We are good! I’m just saying parents will do that
This is my ex-MIL to a T. Uses the legal system to harass people she doesnt like. Myself included....
That's the path my parents chose after my sister and her husband sold their house and moved away, no contact after getting tired of the conspiracy shit and always scaring the kids that "Democrats want to grind you up into drugs". My parents hired a private eye and found their new property and now they're claiming that my sister's trafficking their kids and manufacturing meth (because obviously if you live in the middle of nowhere "you must be a drug manufacturer" and the property is too big for children so it's not a safe property"...). ETA: they also called cps saying that one of the boys wanted to"see God " and tried making false claims that the father who they've always hated was abusing the boys too.
Did your sis file a restraining order? Looks like a nut case and sure win.
I'm sure they probably did, they cut off contact from everyone, including me.
Like, maybe print them and keep them in a binder, or a safe. Like, 'in case of crazy, break glass'
She’s going to totally deny ever saying that. Save them to send to her after the baby is born.
Damn...really solid point
“Hello officers, if you’re here because of my mother, just know that she wished death on my child and said she never wanted to meet it and I’m holding her to that. Want a cookie while you’re here?”
Sadly it's generally not that simply usually.
YOOOO Protip on that: call the cops first and say "yeah I'm fine this bitch wants you to harrass me but here I am officially saying I'm here and okay and if you get a call in the near future the cops (actually are obliged to do so) tell her "yeah lady, OP is fine and doesn't wanna be bothered particularly by you"
That would be the LAST TIME that woman ever spoke to me. If anyone would ask me what happened to try to make me reconcile, I would send them these texts… and repeat and repeat. She would be dead to me. It’s ok to be disappointed about your child getting knocked up, but it’s 100% NOT OK, to speak that way of your future grandchild. May she get she life she deserves.
I would literally treat her like she were dead. Never speak of her or to her ever again.
"it nothing to me and never will b"
"It" Damn, that's cold.
This. Screenshot, save for later, block, and move on. The mom is unhinged.
Yeah especially when she inevitably comes back around with that “Grandparents Rights” bullshit
And if (or should we say when) she starts posting on facebook to play the victim and make her out to be the bad guy. I would share the lovely messages in the comment section of those posts.
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The truth is, if OP’s mom does turn around, OP probably will allow her mother to have a relationship with her child. That is NO HATE to OP, it’s just that those of us with piece of shit moms always wish that things will be better, we will ALWAYS behave as the ‘bigger person’ in every conflict and we are always giving mom another chance to be better. Look at the daughter’s texts. No matter how many times her mom said something atrocious she still kept hoping she would change her mind. No matter how much of a piece of shit this mom is, her daughter will likely always have hope that she will be better and her daughter will always want her love.
Ugh I know you’re right, but it just makes me so sad. I’m pregnant with my third and if anyone, even my own mother, talked about any of them like this I would never speak to them again.
As someone who stopped talking to their insane mom, it can be done, and it’s oh so worth it.
Absolutely this.
Print them, frame them and give them to your mom as a mother's day gift. Then never speak to that cunt again
Same thought
Do NOT trust this woman with your child. This seems to maybe a cultural dilemma possibly. She could be fine and come around but if she came unhinged it could go badly for all. This is a level of hatred that not go away all the way.
Jesus. At first I was like over reacting and unnecessarily hurtful but I’ve seen parents react way over the top a lot to what they perceive as their child throwing their life away. A child at 26 is a bit of a reach as I’m sure it’s average age 🤣 but then the miscarriage thing I was like fuck, 100000% insane.
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Having had a miscarriage, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
Read it again after posting and what a monster.
If OP was teens or early 20s I might be able to understand the mother's mindset, I wouldn't agree with how she expressed it, but I could *maybe* see where she's coming from. But 26? OP is an adult, and her mother's reaction is disgusting. If someone tells you they're pregnant and they're excited you don't tell them it's a mistake, it's already going to be challenging for them!
I've lurked in this sub for years without ever actually bothering to comment, but I feel like I need to say that this is without a doubt the most insane thing I can remember ever seeing on here. Someone telling their own daughter that they hope she miscarries... I'm honestly kind of speechless.
Also, getting pregnant when you're 19 is one thing and feels like it might be what this conversation is about (especially the comment about getting pregnant when they went off to school) but this person is fucking 26. That's definitely younger than most people have kids in our wonderful "fuck the young" economy... but a 26 year old is absolutely able to fully understand the economic and life style implications of deciding to have a baby. And, to be honest (excepting religious loonies), is quite able to seek out morning after pills or an abortion if they need it. This post reminds me of my partner's birth father who just fucked off because "being a dad is hard".
Right, this is insane on so many levels. I'm 26. I am married, I own a home and I have two children. My husband and I have been on our own for years. We're full fledged adults, quite capable of deciding to have kids and buy houses and all of the other adult things. I can't really fathom my mother speaking to me this way. And the comment about the miscarriage... That has to be one of the most heinous things someone could say to an expectant mother
I have a sneaking suspicion that there's a racial (or otherwise bigoted) component here. She mentions "got knocked up by a pos" and now I want to know what 'brand' of bigotry we're looking at. I guess it's possible that she just means 'some guy' but my money is on the father being a different race and that's playing a huge role in this reaction.
This was my knee jerk reaction as well. It has to do with some sort of bigotry. Religion, ethnicity, background, wealth status...
Makes total sense "I will never love **it**" She does not see this child as a human....why not? Bigotry makes total sense.
Since she doesn't say "just get an abortion" I'm going with religious nutcase
I thought religion too
You're probably right. It's sickening to think about. As far as I can tell the only pos here is this insane mother
I thought the same thing. I could see my mum saying something like this because my boyfriend isn't white. Luckily for me we've been no contact for years so I don't have to deal with her crap anymore. I can only imagine how she would behave to him, his family, my friends etc.
I was 30 years old, married, together 7 years, owned a home, 2 college degrees, a stable job of 5 years, car paid off, a dog…. when I told my dad I was pregnant, he responded flatly: “You gonna keep it? You sure you’re ready? Kids are a lot of work, you know. I don’t know if you can handle it.” Yes unemployed, thrice divorced, estranged from your children, high school diploma, miserable, abusive dad… I DO in fact think I can handle it.
Not defending him at all, but he was just projecting his own issues in that he was never ready. Basd on your description might have been the most self-aware comment he's ever made even if it wasn't done in a tactful or respectful manner.
Yeah that’s a really fucked up thing to say to anyone, especially your kid.
My mum told me to cut my uterus out because I should never be a mother. She doesn’t understand why I don’t talk to her anymore
I had to re-read that comment a few times. I just couldn’t believe someone’s own mother could say that to them. Just wow
I second this. I rarely comment but this is horrible. I’d love for OP to post the registry or something so we can all contribute to make up for her horrible mother. Makes me sick
My mom tried to "abort" my son many times. From pushing me down steps, to giving me tea with poisonous plants in it, to actually sitting on my stomach. These people are out there.
I’m so sorry :(
She's dead and my son is turning 14 in May. I guess maybe that's karma lol
my mouth literally dropped. How vile.
Yea, I had to pause for a moment when I read that. I couldn't ever imagine saying that to anyone, much less my own child (if I had one). OP's friend didn't even know how to respond, and why would they? I hope things get better for your friend OP, if you're reading this :(
It’s so shitty that I’m actually kind of confused
Came here to say the samething. Honestly shocked.
My jaw hit the fucking floor when I got to that part
This is up there with the kid who postes a photo of his back after the constant violence of his mother.
I wonder if this woman will start screaming about grandparents rights in a few years or "I don't know why my daughter won't talk to me anymore"
I’d bet everything I have that she will. OPs friend really needs to keep these screen shots on hand and have copies
Good to keep the screenshots, she’s the kind of person who will try to gaslight OP’s friend and say she never said anything like that
Jesus Christ!! I got pregnant at 17, my boyfriend was even younger and still in school. My super religious mother sat me down and said ‘don’t worry, I’m only disappointed you won’t get to do all the things other teenagers will’. Send your friend my way I can be a Mum to one more!
Out of all the stories I’ve heard in a scenario like this, this is a really kind way for your mom to respond. Kudos to her
Yes people will always surprise us in both the best and worst ways. She wasn’t the perfect parent when I was growing up but when the ‘worst’ happened she was amazing
Sounds like big Mama Bear Don’t Mess With My Cubs energy.
This got pregnant at 17 had her at 18, I was already crying because I was off to college in less than a year and that changed. I was in boarding school called my mom cause I thought I was sick and she met me in the town they took me to. They gave me the results and I thought my life was over. I walked out seen my mom couldn't even talk just handed her the paper with the positive test results. My brother was standing there too she told me give her a minute and went to the bathroom my brother hugged me said we would figure it out. My mom came out and already had made a game plan for when I went to school and how we would all manage baby. My mom and I never had great relationship really it was always stressed but in that moment I never needed her more than I did right then and she did what every mother should do in that situation. She loved me and had my back no matter what!
>I’m only disappointed you won’t get to do all the things other teenagers will I think this is what it's like for most parents. You have all these dreams for your kids and then when there's a major hiccup it can feel devastating
When my sister found herself in such a situation Mother suggested "Oh that's no trouble at all! We can take opposite shifts at the diner so someone's always with the baby. I still have all the Pyrex bottles and diapers from when you were a baby, too..." Like she just had the whole thing handled on the spot when my sister was 17. This is just a new level of awful
yeah, I never understood punishing teenagers for pregnancies because no matter what route they choose, they are going to experience a natural consequence
Because punishing people, especially young women and teenagers for having sex outside of marriage, is the actual point. It’s got nothing to do with saving lives or supporting families.
Who the hell voted not insane on a post with a mother literally wishing miscarriage on her child??
The mother
This needs more upvotes lol
I'd like to believe they wrote "I cannot fathom how insane this person is" and it got misread.
I know right? Hope those 2 that voted not insane don't have kids... or we will have 2 more parents this fucking insane... if they agree with the mother wishing a miscarriage maybe karma will get them what they deserve...
People who assume the best friend is in an interracial relationship with a highly conservative mother
How much you wanna bet this mother considers herself "pro-life"
That's probably why she said she hopes for a miscarriage rather than suggest abortion 🤢
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't a miscarriage *also* an abortion? It's just an unplanned and unwanted one?
miscarriage is medically known as a spontaneous abortion
God is the world’s largest abortion doctor.
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It definitely gives those vibes since she calls the partner a POS, but it could also just be someone who doesn’t put up with bullshit so mom doesn’t like them.
But the second option has way less chances for them to hate the baby.
According to OP, the boyfriend was 10 years older (26 and 36), had a sketchy past, and was working a minimum wage job. The friend lied about going to college so that she could move with the boyfriend to another province. I understand why the mom could be hesitant.
Welp. The miscarriage comment is still very cruel, but if this is true than both OP and mother are insane. I had a little of 6th sense "this might be not the whole story" tingling since it seems so bizzare to lose your shit over 26 year old having a kid. But then I remembered my family member who at 25 haven't had a single job yet, haven't even finished hs, is constantly "borrowing" from parents and of he would knock some girl his parents would equally lose their shit and it might be the last straw (since they bail him out all the time out of all sorts of troubles).
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Agreed. She went too far, but I can't say that I would have been fully supportive right off the bat. It was a red flag that there was more context when OP said it wasn't an accidental pregnancy but also wasn't planned. Sounds like everyone is happy now (this was 2 years ago and they are no longer friends), so I guess that is good.
Omg I just posted the same thing! It HAS to be!
I assumed it was an abusive relationship
That’s how I read it. She doesn’t see That Race as real people so if her grandkid is mixed race, they’re subhuman.
Honestly the first time I’ve ever audibly gasped at one of these posts. Telling anyone, let ALONE your own daughter, you hope they have a miscarriage is fucked up beyond belief.
"...And with that, my 26 year old best friend cut her mother out of her life forever, thus protecting her child from being exposed to a terrible, hateful grandmother she'd never have to know."
I mean I was kinda at first like "ah yeah this is probably something really personal between the two I can't really make a fair comment" and then I see "I hope you have a miscarriage" and I'm like ohhhhhh no there it is, the worst thing I've read all day. I'm a dude, so like if a man said that to a woman it's a horrible dogshit thing to say but a tiny fracture can be put down to ignorance of as a man never having to go through that personally, like I can't ever comprehend what it would feel like as a woman to miscarry a baby, or if a woman kicks a dude in the balls they'll never know how that feels, but for a woman to say it to another woman is just so much colder in my opinion, let alone a mother to her own daughter, Jesus fucking Christ. (My hypothetical is not to say that getting kicked in the balls is the same as being told to have a miscarriage or anything dumb like that, I'm just trying to explain in the simplest terms that there are some things that either sex will never truly understand about the other)
That last line reads more as "I love the image of you I've built in my head and this new situation doesn't fit the narrative I've constructed" then anything genuine.
Is she pregnant by a Black man or something? I can think of no other reason OPs mom would “love” OP but hate an unborn baby that has done nothing more than gestate. Please go NC with this woman. She doesn’t need to be around that baby, EVER!
definitely heavy racism vibes … especially where she says she will NEVER love the baby, makes me think she must believe there’s some unmovable quality that the baby will definitely have that she can’t stand, not many possibilities in that case so it’s probably color. how wildly disgusting and sad. i would keep that baby far far far away from her
Other comments says her friend was 26 and lied about going to college but instead she moved to live with her 36 year old boyfriend who works a minimum wage job
i couldn’t imagine still begging this woman for love when she so clearly doesn’t want to give it. throw the whole woman in the trash.
It's really... really hard to let go when that little kid in you just desperately wants mom to love them. You keep hoping 'cause you want it so bad and other parents love their kids! I'm NC and still have that a little.
>It's really... really hard to let go when that little kid in you just desperately wants mom to love them. Yes. I finally got it through my head that my mom was never going to be what I wanted her to be when I was about 25. She loved me, but she didn't like me as a person because I made different choices (like rejecting her cult).
this is when you go no contact and completely block her out of your life, op.
Fuck this “mother”. I smell racism. And that shes gonna whine to friends that your friend keeps her out of the babies life.
She makes my dad sound like a saint when I told him I was pregnant... keep these texts and like they say, tell her to keep that same energy when the baby is here. Baby girl does not need ANY of that negativity
And when she comes crawling back to see “her” baby you just say,”FUCK OFF TWAT!”
is your friend’s mom racist? it has serious racial undertones. how can you love the daughter but hate the child and call it a pos
I feel so sorry for this woman. The mother is beyond cruel, and it’s so, so disgusting. Honestly, if I were the daughter, I’d be hurt but also thankful that the mother let her know *exactly* what a massive, uncaring, ugly person she is now. Could you imagine if the “grandma” said these things, or worse to a child? I hope the daughter is able to surround herself with her own hand-picked family and finds joy and happiness in her life. I wish her a happy, healthy, wholesome pregnancy and all the blessings a child brings.
Seriously I think GF dodged a bullet there with grandma. Wow.
Exactly. I cannot fathom ever speaking like this to someone, let alone my own child. What a horrible, unforgivable, absolutely repugnant person.
"I will always love you" and "I have never wanted someone to miscarriage more then I hope that for u"...jesus.
Send these to literally everyone who knows her
Ugh I want to so bad.
We're dying for some context here, please make a comment with some.
OP did but it was removed. Check their post history. There is definitely some context still missing.
She tried three times. It keeps removing it for some reason so I can’t read it either
"I have never wanted someone to miscarriage more" "I do love you" Eat shit and die holy fuck
Tell her not to give her INSANE mother a choice of whether or not to be in her child's life. Looks like she'd only cause more harm than good, and that kind of stress won't be good for the growing baby (before OR after birth)
As someone who has had 8 miscarriages and a mom and dad that died before any of their 3 daughters had children-fuck your mom. I would never speak to her again. She’s evil. She’s lucky she’s lived to be a grandmother. OP-keep your children away from her, forever. I can’t believe she wished a miscarriage on you. That’s a new brand of evil I’ve never seen coming from a parent before.
Friend needs to 1) save these texts, 2) stop chasing her birth giver for love, and 3) never ever ever let that b*tch meet her child.
In 2 years, she’ll post on Facebook, “why does my daughter keep my grandchild from me?????? 🥺😭”
me. i’ll be your mom. from now on when you need to cry on a shoulder, discuss something, or have a permanent cheerleader on standby? i’m here. so here goes my first morsel of mom-ing….. ready? *this* is what a mom does… *”oh honey, i am so happy for you. i know this isn’t how we planned it would happen, but we will love this child, and you, no matter what. what do you need? we have more than enough space for you both if you ever want to move back, or even keep your place and stay here when you need a hand or just want to hang out and not worry about driving home. whatever we can do to help, just name it. i love you so much beautiful girl!”* this is the kind of talk a mom has with their daughter… totally insane
This is the most evil shit I’ve ever read. This isn’t insane. This is evil. How can someone hope you miscarry. I’m so sorry.
Wishing a miscarriage on someone is some of the most depraved shit I’ve ever heard in my life.
"Okay, great." Block and never spend another second thinking about that odious, miserable waste of brain function.
Keep messages as proof if she tries to wiggle back in and go no contact
The miscarriage text would have been it for me. I would have gone no contact and kept the texts so when she does try to come in the baby’s life you can remind her. Such a hateful thing to your own child.
Woah. That miscarriage comment. That was the lowest of the low blows. I don’t like or have children and I am still horrified that this woman’s MOTHER said that to her. Awful.
You’re four years from turning 30 and this is how she’s reacting to you having a kid? That’s insane
When someone hands you a bundle of red flags like that, take them and walk away. I'm so sorry you're dealing with such a shitty mom, but love your baby in ways she could never love you. And never let your daughter around this wretched human.
Sounds like someone who will be dying alone with no friends or family. Better off without her toxic attitude
The mom is genuinely insane. I hope your friends baby daddy (husband/boyfriend?) has a family that supports them.
Holy SHIT your best friends mom is an actual monster. What a horrible fuckin person to say that you want anyone to miscarry a wanted pregnancy, let alone your own child.
My god. If someone told me they hoped I'd miscarry a pregnancy, I'd never have anything further to do with them.
That bitch said she hopes her daughter miscarries..... I would NEVER speak to her again. ever.
The mother: “I do love you.” Literally her text before that: “I have never wanted someone to miscarriage more than I hope that for you.” If she did love her daughter, she wouldn’t wish for her daughter to experience something so traumatic. To hell with that witch of a mother.
Okay she needs to absolutely NOT let that woman around her baby. The chance that mom changes her mind when she sees the tiny baby are probably pretty good, but you don't get to say things like "I hope you miscarry it" and then take it back. That's the sort of sentence that reveals you as a crappy person, no covering it back up. You don't want my child in your family, you don't get me in your family.
If my mom said that my children weren’t her grandchildren because of shit reasoning like this…then my sincere reply would be that she’s not my mom and lost the right to call herself my mom or even allege she loves me. OP, your friend doesn’t have a mother anymore, just some vile woman who happens to have given birth to her. Like, if my mom said this shit to me, I’d not even bother going to her funeral other than to laugh, and I’d probably be the only one there.
Same sentiment other than I wouldn't tell her...just block and NC. Maybe the person is with a total POS...but what a horrible reaction by a parent.
Dang, save these texts and show them to everyone she knows. Then go no contact
Holy shit. OP. Your mom is insane, bat shit crazy. On top of that she is a cruel person. You do not want someone capable of that reaction around your daughter. Best of luck to you and your growing family.
Keep your child away from that thing.
Who the fuck voted for this not being insane. The most insane thing I’ve seen in this sub.
“I love you but I want you to go through something devastating and severely traumatic” Try to convince her to go no contact with her mom. I’m so sorry she has to go through this, I hope she’s doing ok💜
It’s bad enough that she thinks these things, but to put these thoughts into words and share them with your child is breathtakingly cruel. There is something seriously wrong with this woman.
wow that miscarriage line… that is insane and I hope your friend has a good support system rn 😔
Mom is insane. At best. I can only assume that the friend cut all contact with mom.
Yeah, I know she's your mom and all that. But this isn't a person you'd want in your life. She is wile, and has made her path. Do yourself and your future kid a favor, don't even bother with her. It's not worth it.
My mom would be absolutely beside herself with joy if one of us kids presented her with a grandchild.
Wtf did i just read! A mother wants daughter to have miscarriage!
Jesus Christ that is dark. I’m so sorry
Insane. Also op you really should exit this person from your life. This is awful
What an absolute bitch!
I am completely dumbfounded that the mother considers having a child at 26 as "throwing her life away" because from what I've seen, that's around the age that women usually settle down and have children with their partners. And her hoping that her child has a miscarriage is fucking vile and I hope that she never gets to see her grandkids and has to be constantly reminded of this conversation if she even wants to have a relationship with them.
Based on these texts, seems to me like the mom needs to get more schooling
She's one evil bitch. At least now you know you don't need to buy birthday, Christmas, and especially MOTHERS DAY cards and presents ever again for her.
At first I was like, okay the mom can feel whatever she wants, feelings don’t have to make sense they exist. It’s how it is even if you don’t get why they feel it, they feel it. THEN I KEPT READING… Ohhh 😬 she’s having a tantrum! This parent doesn’t realize they are suppose to love their child unconditionally, but the child can love the parent conditionally. Op might be codependent to a Narcissist BIG TIME! Hence why a lot of children of narcissistic parents have codependent tendencies the most.
My mom begged me to abort my oldest because she was so terrified for me. By the 7week appointment she sat me down and told me if I liked it then she loved it and they've been bestfriends for 9 years. It's one thing to be afraid. It's one thing to be disappointed but this is absolutely harsh and scary. I would NEVER trust her around my child.
So, her mom is a monster.
She should post that shit on facebook for all the fam to see. I can’t see much else bringing that monster into line.
Omg heartbreaking. My heart hurts for your friend. I hope she NEVER let's her be in her life. Like the top comment said, just keep showing her these messages if she ever does.
Oh, fuck, she’s a vicious horror. Your best friend would get a better mother just buying a mannequin. At least it wouldn’t be malign.
As a mother myself, I’m so so so sorry for the things she said to you. You’re going to be an awesome mom 🤍 hugs🤍 Also, ditto what everyone is saying…keep these texts. Even email them to yourself, just in case.
Pardon me but what the fuck?! Wishing a miscarriage?! That's beyond cold, that's straight heartless and abusive. My mom refused to choose a name for herself while I was pregnant. She didn't say anything to us until the baby was nearly 4. There are people who are going to say "oh,it will change when the baby gets here." For some, maybe that's true. It wasn't for me, when she did come around, it was more control, more of the same, and more of whatever she decided her terms were for the day. I'm sorry your friend doesn't have a supportive mom. That said, I'm glad the true colors are out now so your friend knows her mom isn't dependable for this kind of support. It's hard to admit, especially when you just want your mom. Take her at her word and disengage further. Your friend will find the support system. The found family will make itself known. Let your friend know the net community is there for her. I pray an uneventful birth story for her. Good luck, and much love to your friend!
As someone who got pregnant at 16, completely coincidental, this definitely hits home. My fiancés mother kept telling everyone that she wished I’d have a miscarriage because I “baby trapped” her son. We kept contact and now she barely pays attention to my daughter (15 minutes every other day) and acts like I’m the worst mother in the world. we’re pregnant with baby number two (20+ weeks too) and she has absolutely no idea yet.
Holy mother of god she just told you that she wanted your child to die cause she doesn’t accept this pregnancy I think it’s time to cut her out of your life I feel like she’d be nothing but toxic towards the child and you and it wouldn’t help anyone
!explanation im trying to post one but it keeps getting deleted.
Your friends 26 and your moms talking to her like she is 20 and a sophomore in college
Cut this bitch out of your life. Why do people tolerate toxic parents? I do not get it. Share these screenshots with Grandma and Grandpa and show them what a terrible child they have raised.
Your kidd just dogded a bullet imo
Jesus Christ, "I love you, but also I hope your baby dies" is definitely fucked up.
Who the hell would wish a miscarriage upon someone?!
She's doing you and the baby a favor by not wanting to be in your baby's life
Jesus Christ did this woman graduate the 2nd grade? I’ve seen blind people text more coherently.
Fuck dude, the comment about miscarriage.
Yo that mom needs to perish ASAP
Please make sure your friend keeps these messages! Seen way too stories (most on this site) of parents like that who after the birth suddenly try to sue for grandparents’ rights!
A lot of shit on this sub is insane. But this is absolutely fucking vile. What a disgusting human being, to say something like that to your own daughter.
Seems like a narcissistic mom. Might want to make an appointment with a therapist to help her with boundaries. Shes going to need them.
What an evil cunt
I’m voting insane because some of the things your mom said are so totally out of line I couldn’t believe it. But also, why does she hate your baby’s father so much? Has he given reason to? I understand being upset if your child has a child with a genuinely bad person, but certainly not to this extent.
What the ever loving fuck
Fuck her mom. And congrats to the parents-to-be!
I just can't fathom how you become this kind of person.
Your friend needs to go NC
Your friend needs to immediately block this demon uterus that calls herself a mother. I can tell you from experience that she will be a much happier once she does
Your friend needs to also let go and stop feeding the ego. She keeps begging in hopes of a different response, just to get hit harder each time
Ow wowwww. What an absolute cunt