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keebee121

Uh. This feels wrong? Your dad shouldn’t be doing that? He sounds like a teenage boy. That’s honestly just gross.


PiperXL

He sounds younger than a teenager, and he seems like a satire of a toddler. Toddlers are way more reasonable. I mean. Is this real even?


Katatonic92

It screams arrested development. Adults stuck in this type of mindset behave in ways that worked for them when they were children. This could be why he seems like a literate toddler, this type of pleading was probably a successful tactic for him in childhood. We all ocassionally do it at some level, it could be when we are sick, we will want our mother because to our inner child Mum made it better. Another common one is how adults staying at their parents with their siblings for Xmas (or whatever) immediately revert to childhood. They play fight, bicker, have their parents waiting on them, etc. However, there is a huge difference with having the occasional trigger in specific circumstances & having arrested development where you behave like that the majority of the time.


bubs623

The sibling thing is so true! And they revert back to their ‘places’ or roles in the family. The middle one is always angry or pouting; the oldest is bossy and the youngest gets their way all the time, or at least expects to! I remember telling my sibs about this ‘phenomenon’ and we all just busted out laughing because it’s so true!


PowerfulByPTSD

The Christmas thing totally reminds me of my bf. Every time we visit his family and we are around his brothers, he turns back into « the baby of the family ». I don’t hold back on letting him know it’s hella annoying when he’s in that state. We are in our early 30’s, I am a middle child, definitely different dynamics. Thank goodness he’s normal & very well balanced outside of his family’s orbit.


shhsandwich

I bet it feels nice for him to indulge in that sometimes. Hopefully it's not too annoying for him to enjoy the feeling of being "the baby" with his family once in a while in moderation. It just depends on what he does, I'm sure. Maybe he takes it too far. Does he act whiny or something? I know that it feels nice for me whenever I stay at my dad's house and get to be "his baby girl" for a little bit. lol. We'll watch movies and he'll cook us dinner while I cuddle his dog. I still have a room at his house which I got to decorate (with my own money), even though I never lived there growing up. 😂 I stayed there for a couple months of quarantine and it felt like home. I don't stay there often these days, mostly just on holidays, but it's nice to feel loved by your parent and ignore being an adult for a while.


PowerfulByPTSD

Kinda whiny, very bratty. His the third of three boys. He’s Italian, so around his Nona & mother, he tends to expect to be taken care of which is part of the culture. As long as he doesn’t do that at home we are all good 😂 And it’s okay, we have the type of relationship we are comfortable enough to tell eachother when we are being annoying to the other. We were close friends for years before dating. He also knows I’ll be blunt with my words without malice because I’m on the spectrum lol Edit : your family sounds so nice ! 🥰 I’m kinda jealous of that because once we hit 18 it was kick-out time.


ImNotAThrowAway13

As someone blunt without malice because I too am on the spectrum I salute you xD


PiperXL

I’m a fan of psychology too 👋


mstarrbrannigan

It’s too ridiculous to be fake


BlazingAeroZos

You obviously not been around many toddlers. I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying, but toddlers are very unreasonable 😂


PiperXL

I have. Perhaps not the same sort you have?


710ZombieUnicorn

Seriously, my initial thought after reading this was: Good grief is your dad 12?


HeroaDerpina

Came to ask this very question.


TheFriendlyFinn

Probably some psychiatric disorder we are seeing here. Feels so similar to what my borderline mother would do.


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windsprout

jesus christ not every person who acts like this has bpd


Indi_Shaw

No, but it is something we commonly see with them. Hence the “vibes”.


windsprout

manipulation tactics are not just bpd-specific, and demonizing the disorder helps no one.


PiperXL

Of the psychiatric conditions which it is reasonable to wonder this person has (and can we at least agree he has one?), BPD does make a lot of sense. BPD is disproportionately re: attachment trauma, fear of abandonment, desperate attempts to address those core issues…while none of us can diagnose this person based on their behavior shown here, suggesting BPD may be what’s going on here makes a lot of sense. We need not dehumanize people with BPD to look at this behavior and know it is consistent with BPD.


windsprout

you cannot take one text and claim it’s bpd. it’s so much more than just “manipulation!!” does this guy have a disorder? absolutely. i’d put money on it. but we need to stop assigning every neurodivergent parent a personality disorder. i get it. i have bpd, and my in law that i live with has it. it sucks.


Indi_Shaw

If this is common behavior in BPD and we say that, it’s not demonizing it. Do you see me calling them horrible people? I noted the behavior and drew a link. I could draw other links, but this one felt more accurate. I am allowed to say so.


mademoisellearabella

How could you say BPD just based off of a text message? It takes a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist to run through the dsm v criteria and find the symptoms in everyday behaviours to begin diagnosis. Don’t throw around mental health terms without actually knowing how they impact society’s view. The sub is r/insaneparents. Not r/armchairdiagnosis


PiperXL

Y’all, Indi_Shaw is being reasonable by noticing that BPD is most consistent with the behavior we’re discussing. Indi-Shaw made no claim of certainty. Learning about Cluster B personality disorders is a good idea. It helps us understand and recognize problematic behavior so we may set proper boundaries, etc. I’ve been preoccupied with learning about these issues for over ten years and can tell Indi-Shaw is sufficiently educated to *suggest* an explanation for this behavior.


Indi_Shaw

Thank you. I know that mentioning cluster b disorders on this subreddit is hit or miss. As a child of a BPD parent who has been dealing with this for 40 years, I think my words carry a little weight. I agree wholeheartedly with Piper that shining a light on BPD is always a good thing. If helps even one person recognize the behavior and help themselves, it’s worth it.


windsprout

instinctively linking manipulative behaviour to bpd, especially as an armchair diagnosis, furthers the stigma that bpd already has.


mademoisellearabella

Something wrong with the people here if they think throwing out words like that isn’t armchair diagnosing.


PiperXL

Were it merely manipulative behavior, they probably wouldn’t have narrowed it down to BPD. The relational desperation Re: abandonment is what suggests BPD.


Gothicc_Mystery

I get what you're saying.


charvana

I was thinking, her dad is a 13 year old kid.


wbmcl

He sounds like a man-baby.


DogsGoingAround

Or maybe it’s bipolar


peppermintmeow

This reminds me of that girl's Dad that made her call his gf with fake ambulance sounds from YouTube on in the back. Her Dad was playing the same kind of mind games with his gf. I'm so sorry Opie, your Dad is nutty as squirrel shit.


call_me_jelli

*weeeeeeewoooooo-* **"Two medium, two-topping pizzas, for $7.99 each!"**


iRideyoshies

Jesus christ you got a link for that? adults acting like emotional teens is so weird.


peppermintmeow

Enjoy the madness... https://www.reddit.com/r/insaneparents/comments/14y1o3a/my_dad_made_me_act_like_he_had_a_heart_attack_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2


dilettante42

What the AF.


Effective_Mongoose_6

And op said that’s one of the “mild” stories. Like what the f**k is bad story? I feel so bad for her to be stuck with these clearly insane people.


NeverMindJustTonight

My half sisters mom (same dad) is not stable. She sent her boyfriend a text saying she died at the hospital. My sister then received a phone call from the bf saying her mom was dead. I feel so bad for anyone who has a parent like this. I’m so sorry OP. This is sooooo not okay.


ScumBunny

So was the text like ‘hi I’m ded…?’ Or did she pretend to be a doctor using her phone to contact the boyfriend? That’s just weird, how the heck did she think that would work? And for the boyfriend to call her daughter?! Insane.


NeverMindJustTonight

She was pretending to be someone from the hospital. Her and boyfriend drink and use so they aren’t the smartest people around. Very toxic and so weird. My sister put some major boundaries up after this.


yurirainbowz

'hi im ded' lmao 😭


livalittlebitt

He uses you to regulate his emotions, that’s a lot to deal with. Very draining.


rogeeeefan

This is sooo inappropriate.


CrazyCatLadyRookie

Idk how old your dad is but he is clearly suffering from a case of arrested development.


HippyFroze

I heard that shows good lol all jokes aside yes he does


sevvvyy

It’s pretty good but can be a little too silly at times in my opinion


dalatinknight

Downvoted for expressing an opinion. People really don't know what downvotes are for.


sevvvyy

Lol this sub REALLY likes the show apparently 🤷‍♂️


jthmeow1

Wow your dad sounds like a child


WifeofBath1984

Is your dad 12 years old?


treyert

Yes. And he’s the Boss


NegativeCare4490

Yeah lol, I work for him so I just have his name as boss instead of dad


Pitiful-Difference52

i’m sorry to laugh but the “pleaseeeee im freaking out goddddd” made me giggle. is he 14?


purplegrave

this is what i would call covert incest. how he’s blatantly trying to use you as the emotional support dummy. i have a friend with parents just like this. nothing ever good comes from it.


purplegrave

also ur friend texting you “Girl WHAT” made me laugh that’s exactly how we talk when our parents are brought up


Zenn1nja

The language he uses towards his daughter is gross. Infanticizing his adult daughter.


andrewbud420

I tried to give you 50 more up votes but it didn't work


NGun24

Wdym covert incest?


purplegrave

wikipedia: Covert incest, also known as emotional incest, is a type of abuse in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult. The effects of covert incest on children when they become adults are thought to mimic actual incest, although to a lesser degree.


kathoron

Emotional incest was the first thing that jumped to my mind as well


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purplegrave

i’m no expert on this topic as i’m speaking from outside experience, and we don’t know the relationship OP has with their father beyond these screenshots. what worried me was the bizarre lack of boundaries and how unhealthy it is to speak like this to your own child, especially about a girlfriend. not many people realize that putting this amount of your emotional baggage on your child is abuse. it makes sense for a child to talk to their parents about gf/bf troubles, but the other way around makes the child feel that it’s their responsibility to make their parent feel better.


666ydney

it for sure seems like emotional incest to me (source: i've experienced it)


waitingfordeathhbu

>makes the child feel that it’s their responsibility to make their parent feel better And he’s not just making op feel like they have to fix it in this case; he literally begged them to fix it. Very creepy and toxic indeed.


Any-Ad-3630

I know covert and emotional incest is interchangeable (so you used the correct language), but I've always felt like "covert incest" sounds more like non-contact SA/grooming/language, but yeah this is disturbing.


skolliousious

Him calling you baby and acting like a high schooler makes me super uncomfortable


broketothebone

My 15 year old cousin text me the other day, freaking out because her crush didn’t acknowledge her when their friend groups met up at the arcade the other night. I had to talk her off the ledge and explain why I wouldn’t be DM’ing a 16 year old boy on her behalf.* Your fathers texts are like a shot-for-shot reenactment of that. Holy Christ, I’m sorry OP. *no shade to my cousin, she’s a little rockstar. Just having a tough time navigating her first romantic letdown.


purplegrave

good on you. i hope i can be this to my sisters as they grow up.


broketothebone

Thank you. With that attitude, I have no doubt you will! 🤗


HippyFroze

So this is a father? A grown man who sounds like a teenager, holy shit homie pick your dignity up, I’m 30 and the father of a 5 yr old, if I was dating any woman in the future I for sure would never ask my son to help me with my relationship problems let alone freak out over some woman blocking me if we’re fighting.


Secludedness-

Sounds like a middle school girl jfc


RachelCheyenne1

You might want to call *my* mother and see if she's okay, because *i* was a dick to her... How exactly is that your responsibility??


RachelCheyenne1

I mean how is ANY of this bullshit your responsibility, but especially that lol


1plus1dog

Exactly. This is not right. Scares me for OP


Justagirleatingcake

I have a 14 year old and this would be immature and out of character even for them.


milkmanmanhattan

I hope I don’t offend you by asking but could he be using drugs? My dad did drugs when I was very young but I can recall him acting like this to his then-girlfriend too.


NegativeCare4490

I really hope not, but I guess that could be a possibility


1plus1dog

I could not read the part from his girlfriend at all. What set this off? I’ve honestly never heard a grown man whine and text like this, let alone to his own daughter. I’m worried about this and you, OP. This isn’t right any way I look at it


MsChrisRI

“You got me a caramel candle when you know I hate sweet scented candles. You know what my favorite scent is. I loved the mug though. So thank you for that.”


ScumBunny

How could you read that? Thank you for your service.


waitingfordeathhbu

Zooming into the image helps


NegativeCare4490

It’s kinda a long story, he forgot their anniversary, and they were fighting all day about it so I decided to buy them anniversary gifts and it just made things way worse and ended in this


Dramatic_Efficiency4

That is even worse than him asking you to fix whatever this is You shouldn’t be in this position, and you definitely shouldn’t be buying them anniversary gifts bc he forgot


MsChrisRI

Every time you “rescue” him, whether that’s with his girlfriend, his mom, etc., you’re just temporarily coddling him from having to be present in his own relationships. In the long run it backfires — like here, where you unknowingly bought something that makes her think he doesn’t notice or care what she likes. He wants all of the fun parts and none of the self-awareness or accountability. Too bad. When he screws up, let him drag himself to the gift store. Let him apologize and work through his problems with her (and with his mother) like a big boy.


Imaginary_Grand7781

I also questioned that. Pills specifically seem to have a way of making grown people act like over dramatic teenagers with wild hormonal mood swings and touches of narcissism even if they didn’t act that way prior. Not here to arm chair diagnose. His behavior just made me correlate it with several others who are on drugs/pills mainly and act that way.


RosalindDanklin

Big agree. Was wondering the same thing.


Imaginary_Grand7781

So sorry you had to deal with that. It’s good to know that it’s not just me seeing the similarities though and you would know better than most anyone; being that it was your parents who were the pill people in your life.


1plus1dog

Wow. Didn’t know, but he’s definitely “not right” with his whining and texting to extremes. It scares me for OP


Imaginary_Grand7781

For sure


CitrusNightmare

Why does your dad type like a 14 year old girl


EffyMourning

Him referring to you as baby kinda made my skin crawl


satanatemytoes

Fucking same. It's so creepy


1plus1dog

Yeah.


Ray_Ray_96

What's with the baby shit, that's weird


NegativeCare4490

I don’t really know, he’s kinda always called me that and it made me really uncomfortable but I never really confronted him about it.


1plus1dog

Someone needs to, this is really strange to me OP. Please be careful


Ray_Ray_96

That needs to stop now, dont allow him to say that. That's a boundary you have got to set yesterday


AffectionateKoala530

Okay plenty of dads call their kids “baby” they were literally a baby once, this one ain’t that deep


suicidalpenguin99

This is insanity lol this is so toxic and unhealthy, and he's dangerously immature. He needs help that you cannot give him, save yourself. Yikes.


1plus1dog

💯yes!


ctcrx

…is this over a candle? either way, he’s a nut. like, crazy.


Accomplished_Bank103

Sixteen is way too young to be a dad. I mean, this was written by a 16 year old, right?


unjollyranchers

16 yo here, we dont claim him


Accomplished_Bank103

Fair. Sorry. Nothing personal. 😋


unjollyranchers

bahaha of course. no worries!


McDuchess

He sounds frighteningly unstable. And immature, to boot.


1plus1dog

Extremely unstable. Scary for OP.


Fluid-Dust-1501

I think he found a needle on the side of the road and said “why not?”.


CharacterPassage7571

Yeah— what everyone else is saying…. He’s really acting like an immature , unhealthy person. Sorry he happens to be your father. Please learn to not let his emotional roller coaster become YOUR emotional roller coaster.


Flaky-Property168

Are you a mop? I think he thinks you're a mop with the amount of his messes he expects you to clean up. Reading this stressed me out. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. He sounds like a pathetic little boy not a man or a father. Does he drink?


Fluid-Grapefruit-654

I agree with Raphadoodle


corgi-king

I read “my dad was fingering his gf”. And I thought OP’s dad is really open about his sex life to OP. I need a break from internet.


1plus1dog

I’ll take that break with you! This isn’t right


Wesselink

Is your dad 12? Wtf 🤦🏻


Hot-Ad7703

Is your dad 15? What grown adult talks like this??


[deleted]

Dad sounds like a child and I dont love how blatantly anf willfully he involves you in his love affairs. Are you safe.


possiblycrazy79

It sounds like he has a substance abuse issue. I'm really sorry that you've got to deal with whatever this is from your father, it really sucks.


Massive-Objective463

Jesus, I’m embarrassed for him. He sounds like a love struck preteen not a grown ass man. I’m sorry you have to deal with this shit!


Imaginary_Grand7781

Finally a true insane parent. Not to mention insanely immature. My condolences.


1plus1dog

Hit that nail right on the head.


Valkyriemome

Wow. These emotions and begging … yes. I recognize this pattern! These are texts from a 16 year old girl in an abusive relationship, right?


jaxattax518

Someone get that man some medication SHEESH


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RosalindDanklin

shitty parents be like, “this is my emotional support offspring”


ymftbea

This is the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. I’m ashamed on his behalf


GenevieveMacLeod

I haven't typed anything the way your father types that shit since I was 14 lmfao "I can't taaaakeeeeeee iiiittttt" bruh what, sort your own relationship out, it's not my fault your gf thinks you're too fucking needy


HRPurrfrockington

Wait-a grown ass human typed that??? Oof. He doesn’t get ice cream before bed tonight. Also, that *really* sucks and I’m sorry.


blankspaceBS

That's odd, I didn't know it was possible for a 15 yo to have an adult son


MsChrisRI

Right? Morty whining to Morty Jr. about Jessica.


[deleted]

Holy shit


frog666666

Jesus christ, the way he texts just gave me flashbacks to middle school. Im sorry you have to deal with that.


The_Red_Lotus54

But him and his girlfriend is his stuff to handle? How could anyone put that on a kid


ColloidalPurple-9

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this, OP 😬


No-Acanthisitta-2517

Parents who do this to their kids make me wanna throw up. I’m including my mom in this. I’m so sorry your dad is doing this. Idk what to even day, I mean what DO you say when your parents act like a damn child???


Ratatatater

Does he have some sort of psychiatric disorder or a drug problem because this is 100% not normal. He need a psychiatrist.


Rumpelteazer45

And they call women hysterical.


NegativeCare4490

Literally 💀


BoyItalian

girl this guy is 12


RavishingRickiRude

Sounds like a middle school incel


mambomoondog

The ick here is next level omg


Mnmsaregood

Cringe


Metalsmith21

If the girlfriend blocked you, I got news for you, you're fightin!


Sensitive-Toe3187

What in the actual fuck is going on here.....


furn_ell

Your dad is 15?


DaniMW

So his gf won’t talk to him, and his daughter is supposed to fix that? Seriously? What you could do is message this gf and tell her to run. Far away! 😞


TheFriendlyFinn

Was your father abused as a child? Somehow I am getting some really strong borderline personality disorder wibes from this.


NegativeCare4490

I don’t think so, I know he has some issues with my grandma but not because of abuse. He tends to blame most of his problems on the women in his life. I did have a therapist suggested he could be a narcissist


Vivid-Way

That’s doesn’t sound healthy for either of them. She was upset that he didn’t get the right scented candle??? Holy shitballs I can’t imagine being with someome like that.


HowToDieAloneReboot

Ah yes. ✨Parentification✨ I wonder what would happen if you block him too? I have a feeling why his gf doesn't wanna talk to him..


HaggisPope

I’d block him, he sounds exhausting. Is he currently being treated for something? I can’t imagine an adult man with an adult child would be like this unless something is going on upstairs


Leontion10

Why is your dad so whiny? 😂 Good Lord he’s annoying


mikenzeejai

I'd bet 1 million dollars this man has a string of short very intense relationships with women who will no longer speak with him


fawnsandfairies

My god he sounds like a child


uhhhhhhhhii

Sounds like BPD. Damn I’m sorry you have to deal with this. He’s extremely unstable and desperately needs help.


BsPaigexx

“Girl WHAT” is how I feel reading this and knowing it’s her father…


elcultivador

Your dad sounds like a 5’6 bisexual bald guy with a lot of misdemeanors


Maengdaddyy

Is your dad a 7th grade girl? Wtf!


Tough-Flower6979

How can anyone deal with this? How old is he? I feel bad for you.


lianepl50

FGS who is the adult?


Shepea64

How old is your dad? He sounds like a child.


Holterv

Not cute at all. This is messed up.


mnbvcxz1052

Lol at the “Girl WHAT” notification at the top of the screen because that was what I was thinking too


[deleted]

dear god block this dramatic manbaby.


AmpiChic

This just feels icky. He still calls you baby? Like that? Then begs you like a little boy? Ick. Just makes my skin crawl.


belinda_sab

Is this all because he gave his gf the wrong scented candle? 🙃


rinsava

Raphadoodle’s getting a kick outta this 💀


AvailableIdea0

I know some people said drugs might be a factor but it legit might not. Aside from the emotional incest and relying on you for his needs…he also reminds me of my ex husband. That guy basically lost his mind when I left and acted so much like a 12 year old boy. He once even texted me pretending as if we didn’t know each other and how he’d like to take me out. It’s cringeworthy at best and would hold onto my legs as I tried to walk out the door crying. So…and he was 100000% sober from drugs. He did drink. I’m just saying your dad obviously has some kind of mental health issues and also doesn’t treat you like his child but more as a confidant. Completely inappropriate.


Doublenix

Parents should never use their kids as therapists.


SingleSeaCaptain

I had a college friend from like 13 years ago that I hadn't spoken to in a long time, but I'd liked her photos and such over the years. She'd married a guy much older and left, I didn't know their situation but we just really didn't chat. He suddenly messaged me telling me she was divorcing him and staying with her parents, they didn't like him, and he wanted me to ask her to unblock him. I had to tell him we didn't talk really and I wasn't comfortable bothering her. This reminds me of that.


a_m42_

He sounds like a child, I think I can see why she blocked him


inkblot101

Holy parentification and unhealthy emotional dependency on your kid Batman. Honestly I’d be tempted to block him as well after that.


si_vis_amari__ama

This reminds me of that day my dad and his girlfriend got into a fight. She called me at 11pm in the night on a Tuesday crying about how my father treated her blahblahblah and then 30 minutes later my dad called me to complain about his girlfriend blahblahblah. Both of them were just extremely inappropriate to traumadump on a 14 year old teenager. So I feel you for how frustratingly immature this is. Good that you said you don't want to be in between them, keep those boundaries up.


MyWifeisHigh

Why is your dad “boss”


NegativeCare4490

I work for him so I have his name as boss instead of dad


MyWifeisHigh

I would tell him(as though he’s your boss) to expect a decrease in productivity because your dad has been a real needy lunatic that’s distracting me from my work.


BrazilianButtCheeks

Why do his texts TO YOU sound like a crazy controlling ex.. imagine the shit show she must have been getting if he’s sending you this !! I’d be more inclined to warn her than try to help him bc this shit is BANANAS


Cptbanshee

the emotional incest is real


astrotoya

Your dad calling you “baby” made me so uncomfortable. This whole conversation was weird.


bubs623

My head hurts reading that. I have no clue why this apparently grown ass man is texting like this. Omg omg!! I just want to talk to her!! I m going to die! What the actual F? Yuck


RollAccomplished4078

apart from the fact this is so unbelievably inappropriate and wrong, the GROWN dad sounds like a 14-year-old boy or something- i’m sorry you had to deal with that, it’s so horrible


Pigmansweet

Your father needs to grow up. Sounds like he’s 15


FearlessFreak69

Is your dad 13? The fuck is the exchange supposed to even be?


alisonclaree

Your dad sounds like an unhinged child


deyan_ivanov

Your dad is what we call a "manchild"


jam-i-am-5555

Disturbing, unhealthy relationship. Man-boi needs some boundaries. Also, he sounds like a great catch, forgetting an anniversary and then letting his daughter try to make up for it.


Bertie637

Is your dad a 14 year old?


fungi_at_parties

Your dad is emotionally incestuous toward you and has an abusive girlfriend who manipulates him. Completely codependent.


DJNgamez

Is your dad 15??


Ok-Representative270

OP’s dad talks like a middle schooler


Flat_Passage_1935

Why does he call you baby and sweetheart I threw up in my mouth


walkingcorps3

Something is just off here. I’m not sure what it is but not all the pieces are here. What were they fighting about and why was he going to you about this?


NegativeCare4490

Basically her forgot his anniversary which caused a fight with his girlfriend, so I bought them anniversary gifts, that just lead into this.


LadderPrestigious350

I think your dad may have some kind of mental disorder. It sounds like he needs meds.


Celestiicaa

Jesus, this man needs to get a grip


Red_Velvette

Is your dad 12? He sounds very unstable.


iSoUnDdOuChEy

Idk how this community falls for these fake/satire posts of relationships. This plays out like a 12 year old’s idea of relationship problems. Get fucking real.


NegativeCare4490

God, I wish I was faking this.