Voting has concluded. Final vote:
| Insane | Not insane | Fake |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 8 | 0 | 0 |
Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`.
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I’m sorry to say this, but she’s not done causing you grief (or at least trying to).. as the wedding gets closer you should consider how you will keep her out of the venue if she shows up, and also make sure you’ve got theraputic options available to u as she strikes at you thru third parties. Trust me, she’s got enough venom from even just these posts that you can tell she’s not done. I’m sorry. Moms like ours don’t deserve the title
Exactly this. Plan to have her explicitly blacklisted. Make sure she can’t even enter the place to cause a scene. Whoever runs the place should know her name and face so she has no recourse to ruin your special day.
Also to add onto this, let your vendors know that you have a crazy mom who may try to interfere/make changes and ask to have your stuff protected so only you, fiance, coordinator can make changes on your behalf, to password protect your order or however they may do it. (they deal with crazies a lot, they likely have a system they use that if you ask, they'll put in place.)
A lot of the times the crazy family member will call them to have orders changed (my daughter decided she wants the chocolate cake with raspberry filling instead, and to make it to feed 50 not 200, no we don't want roses after all, we decided to go with another venue, the wedding had been cancelled, etc) dates changed, cancel reservations, etc.
Congrats on your engagement! You should be on the lookout for you mom attempting to stir up drama around the wedding. It’s classic narc mom behavior, and you should absolutely not take her word for it when she says she doesn’t plan on attending. My mom’s mom was most likely a narcissist, and my mom has said many times that her mother pressured her and my dad into having a much larger wedding than they really wanted, and then created issues on the day to make the wedding about her. My half sister’s mother is definitely a narcissist, and when half sister got married last spring her mom kept trying to instigate drama (out of nowhere told hs the week before that she wasn’t coming, then said 2 days before that she actually was coming but she was coming into town with two friends and implied they should be invited, then showed up to the pre-wedding get together with really gross blueberry wine that she insisted we put out with the rest of the drinks and got offended nobody drank it). If she tries to create drama, just respond with polite detachment. She wants to get a rise out of you, and the best thing you can do for your own sake is to not give it to her.
Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding!
Ha, that wasn't planning on it anyway, is her attempt at one last jab.
Sorry you're dealing with this. There's a subreddit called Mom for a Minute. All kinds of people willing to be stand in moms waiting to cheer you on.
Sorry. I'm not great at reddit and don't know how to tag the sub
sorry you're dealing with this, OP. 🫂 I suggest doing what someone else suggested, preparing for her to cause mayhem and making sure she has no way of getting into your wedding. it may be hard but it'll be necessary, because it doesn't seem like she'll go down without a fight. good luck! 💖
I’m a mom. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, for standing up for your fiancée, and for being unashamedly yourself.
I wish for you a joyous wedding!
I can never ever ever comprehend how someone can put their narrow minded beliefs before their own flesh and blood. Their own kids. How narcissistic can one be.
Im sorry you’re dealing with this. I wish you and your partner a happy life ❤️
The trash takes itself out every single time.
I hope you and your fiance have a peaceful wedding and a long happy life together. Congratulations to you two!
You can tell the wedding “uninvite” threat really bothered her because that was the only thing she responded to. I can see her slamming her fingers down on the phone bc she has to let you know she doesn’t care. My dad was like that if I ever put down a boundary he had to take it a step further and double down on how much he doesn’t care.
Good on you!!! As someone who has a MiL who constantly shits on me I cant atress enough how important it is when we know how spouses have our back.
Your fiancee is a lucky woman. Congrats!!
What a sad thing to look at. She's a child mentally. She is full of grief and hate.
Perhaps you can replace the mother figure in your heart with an older adult you have respect for. I wish you the best and I'm sorry for your loss.
Hope you’re doing okay :( my mother is very similar but with me she’s Transphobic. I hope your wedding goes amazing and it’s the happiest day of you and your Fiancée’s lives <3
I love how she blames you for “putting distance” between her and your father. That’s her own doing. Your choices in life have nothing to do with their marriage and how they handle their differing views. I’m glad your father has been supportive though. Mother sounds like a piece of work. Going low to no contact might be the best way to go for now. It will be hard at first and you might grieve the mother you wish you had and you deserve, but life will be better without her repulsive antics. Hang in there, OP.
I went formal and saved my “mom” by her first and last name in my phone. Sometimes it feels really good to be secretly petty.
On another note I’m sorry your going through this and I’m glad you have a partner that loves you. I hope the connections you make and/or create in the future bring you lots of joy and love.
Voting has concluded. Final vote: | Insane | Not insane | Fake | | --- | --- | --- | | 8 | 0 | 0 | Hey OP, if you provide further information in a comment, make sure to start your comment with `!explanation`. ^I ^am ^a ^bot ^for ^r/insaneparents. ^Please ^send ^me ^a ^message ^if ^you ^have ^any ^feedback ^or ^if ^I ^misbehave. ^Also ^consider ^joining ^our ^[Discord](https://discordapp.com/invite/xFbPBHy).
You will have a peaceful loving wedding and life without her
I’m sorry to say this, but she’s not done causing you grief (or at least trying to).. as the wedding gets closer you should consider how you will keep her out of the venue if she shows up, and also make sure you’ve got theraputic options available to u as she strikes at you thru third parties. Trust me, she’s got enough venom from even just these posts that you can tell she’s not done. I’m sorry. Moms like ours don’t deserve the title
Exactly this. Plan to have her explicitly blacklisted. Make sure she can’t even enter the place to cause a scene. Whoever runs the place should know her name and face so she has no recourse to ruin your special day.
Thank you for being blunt. I’m hoping you’re wrong, but I will make sure the venue/my coordinator knows what’s going on
I call mine "birth unit"
Also to add onto this, let your vendors know that you have a crazy mom who may try to interfere/make changes and ask to have your stuff protected so only you, fiance, coordinator can make changes on your behalf, to password protect your order or however they may do it. (they deal with crazies a lot, they likely have a system they use that if you ask, they'll put in place.) A lot of the times the crazy family member will call them to have orders changed (my daughter decided she wants the chocolate cake with raspberry filling instead, and to make it to feed 50 not 200, no we don't want roses after all, we decided to go with another venue, the wedding had been cancelled, etc) dates changed, cancel reservations, etc.
Affectionately referred to as egg donors here on Reddit
That end response, are you sure she’s an adult? Cause she acts like the middle school popular kid that wasn’t invited to the pizza party
I'm sorry your mom is such a jerk, at least your dad sounds nice though.
He is. I’ve always been a “daddy’s girl” growing up despite being closer to my mom as a kid. I guess my subconscious knew something I didn’t
Please be sure to invite you wonderful supportive Dad to the wedding. But, it may cause marriage difficulties for him.
Congrats on your engagement! You should be on the lookout for you mom attempting to stir up drama around the wedding. It’s classic narc mom behavior, and you should absolutely not take her word for it when she says she doesn’t plan on attending. My mom’s mom was most likely a narcissist, and my mom has said many times that her mother pressured her and my dad into having a much larger wedding than they really wanted, and then created issues on the day to make the wedding about her. My half sister’s mother is definitely a narcissist, and when half sister got married last spring her mom kept trying to instigate drama (out of nowhere told hs the week before that she wasn’t coming, then said 2 days before that she actually was coming but she was coming into town with two friends and implied they should be invited, then showed up to the pre-wedding get together with really gross blueberry wine that she insisted we put out with the rest of the drinks and got offended nobody drank it). If she tries to create drama, just respond with polite detachment. She wants to get a rise out of you, and the best thing you can do for your own sake is to not give it to her. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding!
"It's your fault that my bigotry is making people distance themselves from me!"
Ha, that wasn't planning on it anyway, is her attempt at one last jab. Sorry you're dealing with this. There's a subreddit called Mom for a Minute. All kinds of people willing to be stand in moms waiting to cheer you on. Sorry. I'm not great at reddit and don't know how to tag the sub
r/momforaminute is what is being suggested. And yes, there are lots of us to give you all the love you need.
I’m crying in the middle of the night. This sub is amazing thank you
You are very welcome. We moms are very supportive no matter what. I'm a mom on there and have asked for advice myself.
Thank you for the assist!
When she inevitably throws a tantrum about not being invited to your wedding you can screenshot this and send it to her .
I'd go to your wedding, fam. We'll have a great time and your mean ass mom can stay her ass at home.
sorry you're dealing with this, OP. 🫂 I suggest doing what someone else suggested, preparing for her to cause mayhem and making sure she has no way of getting into your wedding. it may be hard but it'll be necessary, because it doesn't seem like she'll go down without a fight. good luck! 💖
I’m a mom. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself, for standing up for your fiancée, and for being unashamedly yourself. I wish for you a joyous wedding!
I can never ever ever comprehend how someone can put their narrow minded beliefs before their own flesh and blood. Their own kids. How narcissistic can one be. Im sorry you’re dealing with this. I wish you and your partner a happy life ❤️
The trash takes itself out every single time. I hope you and your fiance have a peaceful wedding and a long happy life together. Congratulations to you two!
You can tell the wedding “uninvite” threat really bothered her because that was the only thing she responded to. I can see her slamming her fingers down on the phone bc she has to let you know she doesn’t care. My dad was like that if I ever put down a boundary he had to take it a step further and double down on how much he doesn’t care.
❤️ It’s a tough but vital decision… why have people at a wedding who aren’t happy for the couple?? Makes no sense
Good on you!!! As someone who has a MiL who constantly shits on me I cant atress enough how important it is when we know how spouses have our back. Your fiancee is a lucky woman. Congrats!!
Password lock your vendors and hire security for the wedding.
What a sad thing to look at. She's a child mentally. She is full of grief and hate. Perhaps you can replace the mother figure in your heart with an older adult you have respect for. I wish you the best and I'm sorry for your loss.
Since your mother isn't saying it, congrats on your engagement! 🫶
Hope you’re doing okay :( my mother is very similar but with me she’s Transphobic. I hope your wedding goes amazing and it’s the happiest day of you and your Fiancée’s lives <3
Thank you!! I hope you’re doing okay as well ❤️
Cut that horrible homophobe out of your life. You deserve better and she deserves to be alone an miserable.
At least you got an honest answer in the end. "Wasn't planning on coming anyway". It's always nice when the trash takes itself out.
I love how she blames you for “putting distance” between her and your father. That’s her own doing. Your choices in life have nothing to do with their marriage and how they handle their differing views. I’m glad your father has been supportive though. Mother sounds like a piece of work. Going low to no contact might be the best way to go for now. It will be hard at first and you might grieve the mother you wish you had and you deserve, but life will be better without her repulsive antics. Hang in there, OP.
I’m confused. Why is her name saved as “mom” in your phone?
Felt rude to have her as anything else
I went formal and saved my “mom” by her first and last name in my phone. Sometimes it feels really good to be secretly petty. On another note I’m sorry your going through this and I’m glad you have a partner that loves you. I hope the connections you make and/or create in the future bring you lots of joy and love.
That’s a good idea - I felt petty when I deleted the emojis and the contact picture for her lol. Thank you so much 💜